Have Gun - Will Travel (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 7 - Strange Vendetta - full transcript

Sit down, gentlemen,
and sit still.

I've come to order a coffin

for the first one of you
that makes a move.

Oh, Hey Boy, anything new
and startling in the world today?

Oh, yes. Big
earthquake in China.

Oh, well, that's
hardly in my line.

Also, big steamboat blow
up on Mississippi River.

I'm afraid that's
not for me, either.

Oh, Mr. Paladin, all
the time you go away,

you come back, you
bring plenty of money.

You sell maybe insurance?



( laughing): In a way, yeah.

Oh, excuse me. I must go.

Oh, uh... sorry.

No more tickets to the opera.

All sold out.

Oh... I had so hoped.

Here, you may
keep this for trying.

Thank you.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Not at all. I couldn't help
overhearing your trouble,

and I have an opera box
reserved for the season

if you'd care to be my guest.

Oh, thank you, but I could
not presume on your courtesy,

although we did so want to
hear tonight's performance.



We?

My husband and I.

Oh, well, naturally, my
invitation extends to him.

I wasn't planning

to attend myself.

Here he comes. Perhaps
you could ask him.

Señor Paladin, my
husband, Don Miguel Rojas.

Paladin, con mucho gusto.

Lo mismo, Señor.

Dr. Mayhew.

Doctor. Sir.

Señor Paladin has
graciously offered us

his box at the opera tonight.

There were no more tickets.

That would indeed
be kind of him.

PALADIN: We don't get
many titled visitors from Mexico

and we like to
make them welcome.

The newspapers took
notice of your arrival

and, of course, my invitation
includes Dr. Mayhew.

We'll accept on the condition

you join us and be
our guest for dinner.

I'll cancel my other engagement.

Señor. Doctor.

( orchestra tuning)

( woman singing opera)

( woman screaming) ( gunshot)

( crowd murmuring)

What about him?

He's dead.

That's what he deserves.

Can you move if I help you?

I would like to explain...

There's no time for that.

You need treatment at once.

I'll explain to the authorities

it was a clear case
of self-defense.

I've got him.

You'll do more harm than good

if you pull the wrong way.

It will be easier for you to
leave before the police arrive.

I'll call you a carriage.

Thank you. I shall be grateful.

Before you leave, will
you look at that man?

Please?

Have you ever seen him before?

He looks very surprised at
the way things turned out.

Has Don Miguel ever been
attacked like this before?

No.

Yes, he has... there's
no need to lie about it.

What's behind it all?

A vendetta. An
insane blood feud.

It has cost many lives already.

Why doesn't he hurry?

Well, I'm sure Dr. Mayhew

is working as fast as he can.

Oh, this was bound to happen.

If they fail tonight,

they will kill him
some other time.

Perhaps I can be of some help.

I'm afraid not, Señor.

This is not a tragic opera.

In this case,
death is very real.

Oh, here he comes.

He's resting quietly.

You may go up now, Maria.

Doña Maria...

will you give your
husband my card?

This is no time for
formal courtesy, Señor.

Please.

I will give it to him.

Thank you.

Well?

The wound itself
isn't too serious...

That is, no vital
organs were hit...

But I don't like
the looks of it.

What's wrong?

There was poison on
the blade of the knife.

Nothing familiar.

A plant substance of some sort.

Will he live?

Yes, perhaps.

For a week.

Do you know what
Shakespeare said

about Mercutio's
wounds, Señor Paladin?

"'Tis not so deep as a well

"nor so wide as a church door,

but 'tis enough, 'twill serve."

It's the same with my wound.

Not so deep as a well,

nor so wide as a church door

but it is enough.

Don... Do not be surprised.

I have talked to Dr. Mayhew.

We are old friends.

He told me I'm dying.

Well, doctors have
been wrong before.

Not this time.

I can feel it.

That's why I sent for
you after I read your card.

You want revenge?

No.

The vendetta is
between my family

and another ancient line.

We do not invite interference.

My task for you is
much more personal.

Name it.

I want you to escort
my body safely

to my home in San Tomasino

and deliver it there
to my wife, Maria.

Isn't your wife here with you?

No, I sent her off this morning.

I wanted her safely
out of the way.

I wish to die unobserved.

I will pay whatever
price you ask.

Then you must
anticipate trouble.

True.

The vendetta against my family

includes the
threat of mutilation

or destruction of the body.

Do you believe
in those traditions?

I'd rather not

but it's a part of my heritage.

I cannot ignore it.

Will you take the job?

For $1,000 and expenses?

Don Miguel, that's fair enough

but it's my hope
that you'll recover.

Then we have a bargain.

I will send
instructions to Maria.

You will be paid upon
safe delivery of my body

to San Tomasino.

It is a fee I hope
not to collect.

You will be notified
when your job begins.

I will try not to
keep you waiting.

Oh, Hey Boy, more exciting
news in the world today?

Oh, yes.

Big robbery in San Francisco.

$230,000.

Oh?

You're not interested?

Not particularly.

You read about robbery?

No... here's the news
that interests me.

"Don Miguel Rojas,

"distinguished
visitor from Mexico,

"died last night of wounds
suffered when he was attacked

by an unidentified assailant
while attending the opera."

You interested in that?

Very.

Oh, you maybe sell
Mr. Rojas some insurance?

Well, in a way.

Good day.

May I help you in
this hour of trouble?

Yes, you can turn one
of your clients over to me.

Oh? Which one?

The late Don Miguel Rojas.

Oh, of course.

You must be Mr. Paladin.

That's correct.

Come this way, please.

Looks fine, doesn't he?

We take great pride in our work.

I'm sure.

Now, I have the papers all ready

for you to sign so
you can take delivery.

If you please.

Where do I sign?

Thank you.

And this is a copy of
the death certificate.

You'll want that for
the border authorities.

Thank you.

I've hired a stage and driver.

I'll have him come around.

Of course.

And I'll complete
fastening down...

I'll make the final
arrangements.

( hoofbeats thundering)

Anybody here?

You just try going
through without inspection

and you'll find out
if anybody's here.

What's your destination?

San Tomasino.

Oh... want to look
it over, Ramon?

What's your name?

Paladin.

My driver is Timmon.

AGENT: Just two passengers?

Three.

Well, you can't take a
dead body across the border.

Yes, I can.

Are you trying to tell me
how to run my business?

Well, somebody should,

because obviously
you don't know.

Page 14, Article 8.

If you're looking for
a little palm-greasing,

you're going to be disappointed.

You want to open
this big box on the top?

That ain't necessary, Ramon.

Thanks.

What's the country like ahead?

Empty except for a water
hole called Loma Verde.

The rest is Gila
monsters and rattlers

and that's good company for you.

Inspection's passed
on one condition.

What's that?

When you come back,
cross at some other station.

I've seen enough of you.

Hyah!

Hyah!

Whoa.

MAN: Manos arriba!

Manos arriba!

He said to raise your hands
in case you hadn't guessed.

¿Que quiere?

Usted sabe.

No tenemos mucho dinero.

( laughing)

La caja!

( gunshot)

Go!

Hyah!

Caballo!

Hyah!

( gunshots)

Ha!

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

( sighs)

( coyote barking)

Señor Paladin.

Bodies seem to be your
specialty, Señor Paladin.

I must thank you for taking

such good care of mine.

You're very quick for a corpse.

( mechanical clicking)

Now that you're here,

I suppose you'll want
to examine the cargo.

Yes.

Let us satisfy our
curiosity on that point there.

Uh-uh. Señor Paladin.

Yeah.

Now move.

That's the shipping
payroll robbery.

$250,000 and all of it mine.

All yours?

It took four men to commit
that robbery in San Francisco.

You have already eliminated them

when they tried
to steal my body.

You plan well.

What about Doctor Mayhew?

He was paid off.

Along with Mr. Wilkins,
our undertaker.

They made my death
seem very convincing.

But not so convincing as yours

will be, Señor Paladin.

What are you waiting for?

First, you must help
me with another burial.

This money must be hidden until
certain arrangements are made.

Replace the lid.

Why was I chosen for this job?

You have not completely
escaped notice.

Your talent with a gun,
your devotion to duty.

We heard of these things.

And you did not disappoint us.

Now, move.

And I warn you, one false
move will shorten your life

and ensure you of a death
much more unpleasant

unless you cooperate.

What about that
man in San Francisco

when he staged the
attack in the opera?

What about him?

That man?

He was hired to play a part.

We changed the
ending of the scene.

No wonder he looked surprised.

You can't play chess
without sacrificing pawns.

Check.

( gunshot)

I don't know just what
you're trying to pull, Mister,

but you won't get away with it.

You don't believe me?

That's the biggest
cock-and-bull story

I've heard in my whole life.

Well, there's a very
simple way to prove it.

Open the coffin.

( whistles)

Cuanto dinero!

Now, gentlemen,
if you believe me,

I need your help.

I have a fee to collect.

What's that got to do with me?

Or him?

The lady I told you about...
The lady in San Francisco,

she's waiting for me to
deliver the body of her husband

whereupon she
will pay me my fee.

I still want to know

what's that got to do with us?

I thought you
might like the credit

for the arrest if
she's part of the plan.

Hmm.

What are we going to
do with all that money?

We are going to turn it over

to the Colonel and
Commander of the Third Cavalry

in Nogales on our way back.

He'll sign for it and
take it to San Francisco.

I know him...
He'll like the trip.

But, señor, where's
the dead man?

In the stagecoach.

We'll put the
money into the coach

and put Señor Rojas
where he belongs.

Wait a minute.

I just thought of something.

This is in his territory.

Before Hernandez
can arrest that woman,

we've got to find
out if she's guilty.

How are we going to know that?

I think I know how.

You've got it all
figured out, haven't you?

I hope so.

Señor Paladin?

Surprised to see me?

No, but I thought...

I came in this way

because I didn't want
to disturb the servants.

My errand is highly personal.

Yes, my husband
sent word before he...

I've hired a couple of workmen.

Would you like them
to bring it in here?

Very well.

Muchachos, por aqui.

Ay, vaja.

I will get your money.

Wait, first you'd better
see if I fulfilled my bargain.

You are right.

Open it.

Abra la caja.

Yes, it is my husband.

I will get your money.

Well, gentlemen,
what do you think?

( whispers)

Not guilty.

Hernandez says he
won't make the arrest.

No woman could be that calm

if she thought her husband
was alive and then saw him dead.

All right.

Thank you very much
for your help, gentlemen.

I'll be with you in
just a few moments.

Where are your men?

There is a...

I've paid them.
They've all ready left.

Do you often write
letters to dead men?

Then you know?

You hid your grief very well.

Grief?

I had no grief.

My life with that
man was a nightmare.

I do not know how my
husband died, señor,

but I cannot thank you enough

for giving me my freedom.

De nada, Doña Maria.

Adios.

Señor Paladin?

Your money.

Did he leave you enough?

He left me nothing.

He only took, but
fortunately my family

is not poor.

Please, señor.

I'd rather not.

It gives me pleasure
to pay for my errors.

Especially since this
is my last payment.

Please.

Doña Maria...

Should you come
again to San Francisco,

I hope you'll come
to the opera with me.

Thank you, señor.

I still don't know why you
sent for me, Mr. Paladin.

After all, I'm a busy man.

Ah, here you are, Mr. Paladin.

As you see, I came as
soon as I got your message.

Now, what can I do for you?

I'd like to order a coffin.

A coffin? For whom?

For the first one of you
gentlemen that makes a move.

Hey Boy.

Something I do for
you, Mr. Paladin?

Get me a policeman.

On second thought, Hey
Boy, get two policemen.

One apiece.