Have Gun - Will Travel (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 29 - Gun Shy - full transcript

UP TO NOW, I THOUGHT BIG
PINE WAS A FRIENDLY PLACE.

BUT IF YOU WANT TO
TURN IT INTO A BATTLEFIELD,

I'M YOUR MAN.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S ONE OF THE FINEST
PIECES OF JADE I'VE EVER SEEN.

IT'S BEAUTIFULLY CARVED.
WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

GIFT FROM UNCLE
SING-WO, MR. PALADIN.

IT COME FROM SET GIVEN TO GREAT
GRANDFATHER BY CELESTIAL EMPEROR.

COMES FROM WHEN ANCESTOR
WAS HOUSEBOY IN IMPERIAL COURT.

SET COME DOWN
THROUGH FAMILY TO UNCLE.

YOUR UNCLE BROKE UP THE
SET JUST TO GIVE YOU A PRESENT?



SET ALREADY BROKEN.

OTHER PIECES STOLEN FROM UNCLE.

I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE CHESS
MEN. ESPECIALLY KNIGHT.

SO I WOULD BE PLEASED,

IF YOU ACCEPT IT AS MY GIFT.

THANK YOU, HEY BOY.
THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU.

NOW THAT I'VE SEEN THIS ONE,

I'D LIKE VERY MUCH TO GET MY
HANDS ON THE REST OF THE SET.

WHEN WAS IT STOLEN?
DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY.

THREE MEN COME
TO UNCLE'S LAUNDRY.

POLICE THINK THEY'RE
MEN WHO BUST OUT OF JAIL.

COME TO UNCLE'S
LAUNDRY TO STEAL CLOTHES.

THEY HIT UNCLE ON THE HEAD,

TAKE HIS MONEY
AND CHESS SET TOO.



I IMAGINE YOUR UNCLE WOULD
LIKE TO SEE THOSE MEN CAUGHT.

ALL RIGHT, HEY BOY.

IT LOOKS AS THOUGH I HAVE A JOB.

[HEY BOY:] AND UNCLE
VERY BUSY IRONING SHIRT.

LIKE HE'S DOING NOW.

THREE MEN COME IN. THEY
TAKE LAUNDRY FROM SHELF.

THROW CLOTHES ALL
AROUND THE FLOOR,

UNTIL THEY FIND WHAT THEY WANT.

WHAT DID SING DO?

UNCLE SING WO SMALL MAN.
BUT PLENTY MEAN WITH IRON.

HE GRAB IT AND GO AT THEM.

BUT THEY WERE TOO
FAST AND HIT HIM ON HEAD.

WHEN HE WAKE UP, THEY WERE GONE.

ALSO STRONGBOX WITH
MONEY AND CHESS SET.

EXCEPT THE ONE
THEY DROP ON FLOOR.

HOW MUCH MONEY DID SING WO LOSE?

MONEY?

MONEY PLENTY. HUNDRED.

ONE..TWO... I HAVE SOME CHINESE.

[SPEAKS CHINESE]

[SPEAKS CHINESE]

[HEY BOY:] $443.12.

PLENTY MONEY TO UNCLE SING WO.

PLENTY OF MONEY TO ANYONE.

CAN YOU DESCRIBE THE MEN TO ME?

[SPEAKS CHINESE]

[CHINESE]

[CHINESE]

I'M SORRY.

THEY PLENTY BIG AND PLENTY UGLY.

UNCLE SING WO ALSO
SAY WHAT HE DO TO MEN,

IF HE EVER FIND THEM.

I GET THE GENERAL IDEA, BUT
WITH TWO DAY'S HEAD START

THEY'LL BE MILES FROM HERE.

UNCLE KNOW WHERE THEY GO.

ROBBER THINK THEY
HIT UNCLE ON HEAD,

GO TO SLEEP, BUT
HE NO GO TO SLEEP.

HE LISTEN AND HE HEAR SOME
ENGLISH, AMERICAN ENGLISH.

THEY SAY "HIDE" AND
THEN GO TO CANADA.

STILL, THAT'S A VERY WIDE TRAIL.

[CHINESE]

BIG PINE.

[CHINESE]

BIG PINE, MONTANA.

THAT'S RIGHT NEAR THE BORDER.

IT'S LOGICAL THEY SHOULD
TRY TO CROSS FROM THERE.

YOU KNOW, MR. PALADIN?

IT IS ALL THE MONEY THAT
UNCLE HAVE IN THE WORLD.

YOU SEE HOW HARD HE
HAVE TO WORK FOR IT?

ALL BY HIMSELF.

IT'S A TERRIBLE THING FOR
AN OLD MAN TO HAVE NOTHING.

TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

HEY BOY, LET'S HOPE
HE WON'T HAVE TO.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW DAYS.

ABOUT CHESS SET, MR. PALADIN.

FINDERS KEEPER.

[CHINESE]

[CHINESE]

IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO
REACH BIG PINE, MONTANA.

WHEN I ARRIVED THERE,
I FOUND THAT THE TOWN

CONSISTED SOLELY OF A BUILDING
CALLED WARREN'S BOARDING HOUSE.

YOU FIGURE ON
STAYING LONG, MISTER?

THAT DEPENDS. YOU LIVE HERE?

YEP.

HAVE YOU SEEN THREE
MEN PASS THROUGH HERE

IN THE LAST COUPLE
OF DAYS? TOGETHER?

YES. NO.

IF THEY WERE TRYING TO
GET TO THE CANADIAN BORDER,

THEY'D HAVE TO PASS
THROUGH HERE, WOULDN'T THEY?

DEPENDS ON WHERE
THEY'RE COMING FROM.

FROM THE MOUNTAINS. YEP.

YEP WHAT?

THEY'D COME THROUGH HERE.

AND YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 'EM? NOPE.

TALKATIVE, AREN'T YOU?

YOU STAYING OR NOT?

YEP.

THEN YOUR HORSE
GOES IN THE STABLE.

MA DON'T LIKE 'EM CLUTTERIN'
UP THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE.

GENTLEMEN, DINNER IS SERVED.

SET ANOTHER PLACE, MA.

GOOD AFTERNOON.
MY NAME IS PALADIN.

HOWDY. I'M MA WARREN.

YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.
DINNER IS READY.

GOOD, SO AM I.

WHY, THANK YOU.

DID I HEAR YOU CALL
SUPPER, MRS. WARREN?

SURE DID, MR. MADDOX.
GO IN AND SET YOURSELF.

SOMETHING WRONG, MR. PALADIN?

THAT AROMA... THAT
WOULDN'T BE SUPPER?

WHY SURE.

SMELLS ALL RIGHT TO ME.

ALL RIGHT?

YOU MUST BE SERVING A FEAST.

NOPE, REGULAR MEAL.

PHEASANT TONIGHT.

PHEASANT? ROASTED
IN GRAPE LEAVES.

MRS. WARREN, YOU'RE
A CULINARY OASIS

IN A DESERT OF BOILED BEEF!

WELL, THANKS!

YOU'D BETTER COME IN
IF YOU WANT TO GET ANY.

AROUND THE TABLE THESE FELLAS
HAVE GOT FOUR HANDS APIECE.

DON'T FORGET THE HARDWARE.

HANG IT UP RIGHT THERE,
IT'S A CUSTOM OF THE HOUSE.

I'M VERY SORRY, I NEVER GO
ANYWHERE WITHOUT THIS GUN.

NOBODY COMES TO MY TABLE ARMED.

IT'S UP TO YOU.

EITHER HANG IT UP OR GET
YOUR SUPPER SOMEWHERE'S ELSE.

MRS. WARREN, SAVE
ME A PLACE WILL YOU?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU GONNA BE OUT
HERE FOR AWHILE, SON?

YEP AND THE NAME'S JED.

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

JED, I'D LIKE TO MAKE A DEAL
WITH YOU IF I POSSIBLY CAN.

IF YOU SEE THREE HARD-LOOKING
STRANGERS RIDE THIS WAY,

WILL YOU COME AND
TELL ME RIGHT AWAY?

FRIENDS OF YOURS?
NO, IT'S NOT LIKELY.

FIGURES.

[OUTSIDE:] JED, WHERE
THE BLAZES ARE YOU?

EASY, MISTER. HE'S NO STRANGER.

WHY AIN'T YOU OUT FRONT?

I GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO
THAN DRAG THIS HORSE IN HERE?

MY FAULT. I WAS
TALKING TO THE BOY.

YOU PASSING THROUGH?

UH... SLOWLY.

THEN YOU'RE STAYING. FOR AWHILE.

WHY? I'M VISITING.

WHO?

YOUNG FELLA, YOU
SOUND LIKE A SHERIFF.

ARE YOU? NO.

BUT I RECKON YOU KNOW
WHAT A SHERIFF SOUNDS LIKE.

I THOUGHT ALL THIS TIME THAT
BIG PINE WAS A FRIENDLY PLACE.

NOT TO EVERYBODY.

WHO PUT THE BURR
UNDER HIS SADDLE?

HE ALWAYS RIDES THAT WAY.

HE THINKS HE'S BOSS OF THIS RANGE
AND MAKES EVERYBODY KNOW IT.

HE'S NOT VERY
SUBTLE ABOUT IT, IS HE?

NOT AFRAID OF HIM, ARE YOU?

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

BUT I DON'T LIKE COMPLICATIONS.

HEY.

YOU MISS ME? REALLY, CHUCK!

MR. PALADIN? THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M NANCY, MA'S DAUGHTER.
I SET A PLACE FOR YOU.

THE FOOD SMELLS EXCELLENT.
THE SERVICE LOOKS EVEN BETTER.

RIGHT OVER HERE.

THIS IS MR. PALADIN, EVERYBODY.

MR. GILSON...

MR. DAYTON... HOWDY.

MR. FRYE.

MR. MADDOX.

GENTLEMEN.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

FIND A PLACE AND
PULL UP A CHAIR.

SHOVE OVER.

NOW THAT'S EXTRAORDINARY.
IT'S REAL FRENCH BREAD.

WHO'D EVER BELIEVE
YOU'D FIND A MEAL LIKE THIS

IN THE MIDDLE OF MONTANA?

MRS. WARREN'S WELL
KNOWN FOR HER MEALS, SIR.

FOLKS COME FROM
MILES TO ENJOY 'EM.

I KNOW, I'M WAY OFF MY
REGULAR SALES ROUTE,

BUT I JUST COULDN'T PASS HER BY.

MISTER, WHAT'S YOUR LINE?

I'M A BUSINESSMAN OF SORTS.

BUSINESS.

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'RE GOING TO
FIND MUCH BUSINESS AROUND HERE.

HOW LONG YOU FIGURE ON STAYING?

THAT DEPENDS ON
HOW GOOD BUSINESS IS.

YOU LIVE AROUND HERE?

I OWN A PIECE. GOT A RANCH.

ABOUT A THOUSAND ACRES.
THAT SOUNDS PROMISING.

WHAT'S YOUR BRAND
LOOK LIKE? BRAND?

I DON'T NEED A BRAND. I
JUST TELL FOLKS IT'S MINE,

AND THEY'RE SMART
ENOUGH TO BELIEVE ME.

HOW 'BOUT THAT, FRANK? GILSON?

'COURSE...

THOSE WHO DON'T BELIEVE ME...

SOON LEARN BETTER.

WELL, NOW I UNDERSTAND
WHY MA MAKES EVERYONE

HANG UP THE GUNS.

HERE WE ARE.

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL.

I'M WAITING, CHUCK.

YOU GOING TO EAT
SUPPER HERE OR NOT? YEAH.

TEND TO BUSINESS.

THIS STUFFING...

NOW THAT IS EXTRAORDINARY.

THYME, MARJORAM AND...

SWEET BASIL. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

WELL, NEITHER CAN I.

I COULD JUST BREAK
DOWN AND BAWL!

THERE WAS ONCE A FELLA WHO
COULD TELL WHEN I USED GARLIC.

THAT WAS THE MOST
I EVER HOPED FOR.

I'LL BRING THE COFFEE.

MISTER... MY NAME IS PALADIN.

MISTER, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.
SHE'S GOT MY BRAND ON HER.

MOTHER OR DAUGHTER?

[CHOKING]

LET'S GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW.

IN THIS COUNTRY, WE SHOOT
CLAIM JUMPERS ON SIGHT.

I'M SURE THEY DIE VERY HAPPY.

[MA LAUGHING]

GOOD NIGHT, MR. FRYE.

GOOD NIGHT, PETE.
THANKS FOR THE PHEASANT.

NEXT TIME, GET 'EM IN THE HEAD.

I WAS ALL MORNING PICKING
THE BUCKSHOT OUT OF THESE.

I'LL WATCH IT.

DID YOU ENJOY YOUR
DINNER, MR. PALADIN?

IT WAS SUPERB.

WHERE DO YOU GET FOOD
LIKE THAT AROUND HERE?

OH, FOLKS BRING IT IN.

LIKE THE PHEASANT TONIGHT.
PETE GILSON GAVE ME THOSE.

HE'S A HUNTER AND TRAPPER,
BACK IN THE MOUNTAINS.

HE BRINGS IN VENISON,
WILD DUCK AND GEESE.

MR. FRYE, HE'S A PROSPECTOR
UP IN BITTER CREEK.

HE'S ALWAYS GOOD
FOR A MESS OF TROUT.

[HOOFBEATS] SOUNDS
LIKE A GOOD SYSTEM.

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER TWO,
MR. MADDOX AND MR. DAYTON?

THEY REGULAR CUSTOMERS?

MR. MADDOX IS REGULAR. HE
ALWAYS STOPS ON HIS ROUTE.

MR. DAYTON IS NEW THOUGH.

HE'S WITH THE RAILROAD.
THEY'RE SURVEYING.

I GOTTA GET TO MY DISHES.

YOUR ROOM IS READY
WHENEVER YOU WANT TO TURN IN.

IT'S THE FIRST DOOR AT
THE HEAD OF THE STAIRS.

THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT.

ARE YOU GOING RIDING
WITH CHUCK, DEAR?

I DON'T KNOW.

I HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND YET.

WELL, CHUCK SAID
HE'D BE BACK FOR YOU.

CAN I ASK YOU A
QUESTION, MR. PALADIN?

OF COURSE.

EXACTLY WHAT DO YOU DO?

"HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL."

YOU'RE SHOCKED?

NO, JUST THINKING.

CAN ANYONE HIRE YOU?

I TRY TO BE A LITTLE BIT CHOOSY.

IN MY PROFESSION, A MAN HAS
TO BE CAREFUL OF HIS REPUTATION.

COULD I HIRE YOU?

YOU? WHAT FOR? CHUCK.

HE THINKS HE OWNS ME.

HE SCARES EVERYBODY OFF BUT HE NEVER
SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.

I'LL END UP BEING AN OLD MAID!

HARDLY. YOU DON'T THINK SO?

CHUCK WAS AWAY
FOR A WHOLE MONTH.

JUST GOT BACK
COUPLE OF DAYS AGO.

AND NOT ONE FELLA ASKED
ME TO GO RIDING WITH HIM.

HE'S GOT 'EM ALL BUFFALOED.

BUT HE STILL WON'T DO
ANYTHING SERIOUS ABOUT ME.

AND YOU WANT HIM TO?

WELL...

HE'S GOT TO MAKE UP HIS
MIND ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO DO, SHOOT HIM?

NO, JUST MAKE HIM JEALOUS.

I SEE, YOU WANT HIM TO SHOOT ME.

I DON'T THINK HE'D GO THAT FAR.

AND IT WOULDN'T BE FOR
LONG, JUST A FEW DAYS.

I'M SORRY, I'D LIKE
VERY MUCH TO HELP YOU,

BUT THIS REALLY
ISN'T IN MY LINE.

IS THAT FINAL, MR. PALADIN?

ORDINARILY, I WOULDN'T
EVEN HAVE TO BE ASKED, BUT...

NANCY, WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?

CHUCK GAVE IT TO ME.
SILLY, ISN'T IT? CHUCK?

DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH IT, SO I PUT A CHAIN ON IT.

WHERE DID CHUCK GET IT?

HE SAID HE BOUGHT
IT FROM SOMEBODY.

YOU LIKE IT? YOU CAN HAVE IT.

YOU SAID YOU WERE FOR
HIRE. THIS IS WHAT I'LL PAY YOU.

I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT...
PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ME.

[CHUCK:] HEY!

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

OH, NOTHING.

I'M SORRY, I CAN'T GO
RIDING WITH YOU TONIGHT.

WHAT?

MR. PALADIN IS TAKING ME TO EAGLE'S
NEST BUTTE TO SEE THE MOON RISE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TRYING TO START, MISTER.

BUT YOU BETTER HAUL BACK
ON YOUR REINS REAL QUICK!

WE'RE MERELY GOING
TO EAGLE'S NEST BUTTE

TO SEE THE MOON RISE.

I TOLD YOU. SHE'S
GOT MY BRAND ON HER.

YOUNG MAN, ARE YOU
UNDER THE IMPRESSION

THAT NANCY IS A COW?

SHALL WE?

I'M WARNING YOU, MISTER!

IF YOU AIN'T OUT OF BIG PINE
BY TOMORROW, YOU'LL DIE HERE.

I'LL BEAR THAT IN MIND,

BUT I DON'T THINK I'LL
LOSE SLEEP OVER IT.

DID YOU SEE THE
LOOK ON HIS FACE?

HE'S FIT TO SPIT
FIRE! I FELT THE HEAT.

WHAT'S THAT! [GUNFIRE]

THAT WAS VERY NICE SHOOTING.

NOTHING SPECIAL.

HOPE YOU STILL GET
YOUR FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP.

MORNING, JED.

IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU,

I'D LIKE TO CONTINUE
THAT SAME DEAL.

SAME THREE FELLERS?
SAME THREE FELLERS.

SURE. THANK YOU.

GOOD MORNING,
MR. PALADIN. MORNING.

BREAKFAST IS SERVED
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

DON'T TELL ME I'M
THE LAST ONE. YEP.

MR. MADDOX LEFT
OVER AN HOUR AGO.

YOU AND MR. DAYTON
ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT.

HURRY UP, WE'VE GOT STEAK
AND TROUT WITH HOTCAKES.

UM HMMM.

I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF
BIG PINE BY THIS MORNING.

YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME TO
TRAVEL ON AN EMPTY STOMACH?

GET! RIGHT NOW.

WITH TROUT FOR BREAKFAST?

GET OR DRAW. DON'T BE SILLY.

OKAY, MISTER.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

[MA:] LAND SAKES,
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

CHUCK, YOU PUT THAT GUN DOWN.

NOT UNTIL HE RIDES OUT OF HERE.

YOU PUT THAT GUN DOWN
NOW OR SURE AS MY NAME,

YOU'LL NEVER SET FOOT
IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN!

HANG IT UP, WHERE IT BELONGS.

GO ON!

I'LL SEE YOU OUTSIDE, PALADIN.

NO MORE OF THAT KIND
OF TALK IN MY HOUSE.

GET INSIDE AND BEHAVE.

IDEA! ACTING LIKE A
COUPLE OF LITTLE BOYS!

SET YOURSELF AND BEHAVE.

MR. PALADIN...

CHUCK.

CARRYING ON LIKE THAT,
LIKE A COUPLE OF MAD DOGS!

THAT CHUCK!

TAKING A GUN TO MR. PALADIN
RIGHT IN THE FRONT HALL!

REALLY?

CHUCK WANTED TO SHOOT HIM?

DON'T LOOK SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING,

BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENS
TO EITHER ONE OF THEM

YOU'RE GOING TO BE MIGHTY SORRY!

THIS WHOLE BUSINESS... [MUMBLES]

[DOOR CLOSES]

GOOD MORNING, MISS
NANCY. MORNING, MR. DAYTON.

HAD ENOUGH
BREAKFAST? YES, THANKS.

I GOTTA BE RIDING OUT NOW.

BYE. BYE.

[THUMP]

I HAVE RUN OUT OF SUPERLATIVES.

THIS CHOP COULDN'T BE BETTER.

MR. PALADIN, YOU COULD EAT
HERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

FOR NOTHING. THAT'S A DEAL.

NANCY, THIS COYOTE
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

DO YOU CARE?

YOU KNOW BLAME WELL I DO.

NICE TO HEAR IT.

YOU KNOW, MA...

I MAY HAVE A RECIPE
THAT'S NEW EVEN TO YOU.

HAVE YOU TRIED MARINATING
VENISON IN WHISKEY?

COOKING WITH WHISKEY? UM HMMM.

WELL, I NEVER.

NANCY, YOU EVER HEAR OF THAT?

YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.

GOOD MORNING, MISTER.

YOU'RE JUST IN
TIME FOR BREAKFAST.

ONLY YOU HAVE TO LEAVE
YOUR GUNS IN THE HALL.

THAT'S A RULE OF THE HOUSE.

I'M MAKING THE RULES NOW.

STAY PUT!

LISTEN, MISTER... MOVE
BACK IN THE CORNER.

YOU CAN'T TALK LIKE THAT TO ME!

MA!

RIGHT SMART OF YOU, MISTER.

NOW, LET'S HAVE IT ALL
PEACEFUL AND QUIET.

EVERYBODY JUST SIT BACK
AND BEHAVE YOURSELVES,

AND NOBODY'LL GET HURT.

WHAT'S THE IDEA, THERE AIN'T
NOTHING WORTH STEALING HERE.

WE'LL TAKE WHAT WE CAN
GET WHEN WE'RE READY.

MEANTIME, WE'LL
JUST RELAX AWHILE.

YOU WAITING FOR SOMEONE?

YOU ARE SMART, MISTER.

IF WE'RE GOING TO STAY,
HOW ABOUT SOME GRUB?

I'M STARVING. FAIR ENOUGH.

WE'LL TAKE THAT
INVITE NOW, MA'AM.

RUSTLE US UP SOME BREAKFAST.
DON'T WAVE THAT GUN AT ME!

NEVER MIND, MA. COME ON.

NOT YOU, CHIQUITA.
YOU STAY HERE WITH US.

JUST IN CASE YOUR MA FIGURES
ON COOKING UP SOME TROUBLE.

I JUST BAKED SOME FRESH
BREAD. IT'S IN THE BREADBOX.

YOU? IN THE BREADBOX.

EVERYBODY STAYS
NICE AND QUIET LIKE THIS.

WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY LATER
AND NOBODY'LL BE WORSE OFF.

THAT'S A VERY STRANGE THING.

PICKING AN OUT OF THE
WAY PLACE LIKE THIS,

TO WAIT FOR SOMEONE.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHY.
IT'S OUT OF THE WAY.

AND IT'S ONLY ONE DAY'S RIDE
FROM THE CANADIAN BORDER.

MISTER...

YOU'RE STARTING TO GET
A LITTLE BIT TOO SMART.

I CAN DO BETTER THAN
THAT. MUCH BETTER.

NANCY, YOU BETTER GET THESE
NEW FELLERS SOME HOT COFFEE.

I'LL PASS THIS BREAD.

REGULAR CUSTOMERS FIRST. HEY!

YOU'LL GET YOURS, DON'T WORRY.

HELP YOURSELF,
CHUCK. THANK YOU, MA.

HEY, COME ON! LET'S
HAVE THAT BREAD NOW.

MY FRIENDS... LEAN BACK.

NOW ON THE FLOOR.
BY THE MUZZLES.

THANK YOU.

DROP IT, KID. YOU'RE COVERED.

[GUNSHOT]

THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S VERY GOOD.

DIDN'T WANT NOBODY ELSE HAVING
THE PLEASURE OF GUNNING YOU.

I WANT TO MARRY YOU. CHUCK!

UH... BUT... DON'T
LOOK SO SURPRISED!

I HAD TO DO SOMETHING
TO WAKE YOU UP.

WHAT?

THANKS, MR. PALADIN.
YOU DID A VERY NICE JOB.

YOU BETTER LEAVE YOUR
ADDRESS, IN CASE CHUCK FORGETS.

NOT A CHANCE! CHUCK.

YEAH? WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?

THAT FELLA DAYTON. HE
HAD A WHOLE MESS OF 'EM.

DAYTON'S DEAD.

IF YOU KEEP AN EYE ON THESE TWO,

I'LL CHECK HIS ROOM
FOR THE REST OF THEM.

WHAT HAPPENED?

FOR ONE THING, YOUNG MAN,
YOU DIDN'T DO A GOOD JOB.

YOU DIDN'T WARN ME.

BUT YOU SAID THREE MEN TOGETHER.

I AIN'T SEEN NO THREE
MEN TOGETHER YET.

JED...

IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE,

WILL YOU HELP ME GET
MY HORSE READY TO GO?

[COUNTING IN CHINESE]

ALL RIGHT, NOW NEXT TIME...

TELL HIM TO KEEP IT IN THE BANK.

YOUR MOVE, HEY BOY.

CHECKMATE.

WHAT? CHECKMATE.

WELL, HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

LOOKS LIKE CHESS SET NOT WORTH
ALL THE TROUBLE TO FIND, HUH?

[ALL LAUGHING]