Have Gun - Will Travel (1957–1963): Season 1, Episode 26 - Birds of a Feather - full transcript

[GUN COCKING]

THIS USED TO BE THE
PRETTIEST TOWN IN COLORADO.

NOW THE GUNFIGHTERS
HAVE TAKEN IT OVER,

AND IF YOU CAN'T STOP
THEM, TURN IN THE STAR.

ONLY VERY FEW PAPER
TODAY, MR. PALADIN.

MAN SAY TRAIN FROM EAST
THAT BRING OTHER PAPERS,

MAYBE BIG ACCIDENT.

THAT'S INTERESTING, HEY BOY.

THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

RAILROAD COMPANIES
CLASH. BIG SPUR COLORADO.

BLOODY VIOLENCE HAS FLARED



BETWEEN THE TEXAS,
COLORADO AND OVERLAND,

AND CONTINENTAL DIVIDE RAILROADS
IN A CLASH OVER RIGHT OF WAY.

GUNMEN HIRED BY BOTH FACTIONS
HAVE DESTROYED PROPERTY,

AND INTIMIDATED TOWN CITIZENS.

THE TOWN OF BIG
SPUR IS AN ARMED CAMP,

AND SHERIFF DAVE QUINN
ADMITS HE IS POWERLESS

TO PREVENT THE LAWLESSNESS.

DAVE QUINN.

[DOG BARKING]

MA'AM, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

DON'T ANSWER HIM, CLARA.

LET HIM FIND OUT FOR HIMSELF.

YOU GUNMEN CAN HAVE THIS TOWN.

MA'AM.



[LAUGHING]

HEY, LIKE THE LOOK OF THAT ONE.

I'LL TOSS YOU FOR HER.

I GOT A BETTER IDEA.

LET'S TOSS HER FOR ME.

DON'T WALK SO FAST, HONEY.

SHE'S MINE.

[SCREAMING]

I'M SORRY, MISS.
GO AWAY, PLEASE!

GO HOME.

THEY WON'T BOTHER YOU ANYMORE.

HE DIDN'T DO IT. HE HELPED ME.

ALL RIGHT, MOLLY. GO ON HOME.

THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

DAVE, YOUR MOLLY GREW
UP PRETTY WELL, DIDN'T SHE?

PALADIN.

BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE
ALBUQUERQUE. YES, IT HAS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THIS WAY?

I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB.

ON WHOSE SIDE?

I BEEN IN THIS TOWN BEFORE.

THIS USED TO BE A PRETTY TOWN.

NICEST TREES IN COLORADO.
WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING AT.

GUNFIGHTERS HAVE
TAKEN OVER YOUR TOWN.

YOUR PEOPLE ARE
LEAVING EVERY DAY.

THE ONES THAT STAY ARE
BEING HURT AND KILLED.

LOOK AT YOUR STREET,
DAVE. TOWN'S DYING.

NOT MUCH I CAN DO.

I'M NOT AS YOUNG AS I WAS.

THEN TURN IN THE STAR.

YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN THAT.

A LITTLE LAW'S BETTER THAN NONE.

WITH A LITTLE BIT OF HELP,
YOU CAN SAVE THIS TOWN.

WHERE WOULD I GET THIS HELP?

FROM ME. I OWE YOU A FAVOR.

YOU GOT A GOOD MEMORY.

I TOLD YOU NINE YEARS
AGO IN ALBUQUERQUE,

I WOULDN'T FORGET WHAT HAPPENED.

THAT'S LONG PAST.

YOU'RE UP FOR HIRE.
I CAN'T PAY A FEE.

I SAID I OWE YOU A FAVOR.

THE RAILROADS THAT HAVE
TAKEN OVER YOUR TOWN

CAN WELL AFFORD MY FEE.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED.

I'M LOOKING FOR CHARLES FOSTER,

GENERAL AGENT OF THE TC AND O.

I'M FOSTER. MY NAME IS
PALADIN FROM SAN FRANCISCO.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, PALADIN?

I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB.

CAN YOU USE THAT
GUN? WHEN I HAVE TO.

WHEN CAN YOU START?

THAT DEPENDS. DEPENDS ON WHAT?

I SAID THAT DEPENDS, MR. FOSTER.

I'M PAYING 25 A DAY.

THAT'S YOUR TOP PRICE?
STANDARD FOR A GOOD GUN.

NOT ENOUGH, FRIEND?

GOOD DAY, MR. FOSTER.

WAIT A MINUTE. I
ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE MET.

MY NAME IS COE. RALPH
COE FROM ABILENE.

MR. COE, I'VE HEARD OF YOU.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

ACROSS THE STREET TO THE
CONTINENTAL DIVIDE RAILROAD.

YOU DON'T CARE WHICH
SIDE YOU GUN FOR, DO YOU?

INDEED. IN THIS CASE, THE
SIDE THAT PAYS THE MOST.

DOES MR. COE WORK
FOR 25 DOLLARS A DAY?

COE'S IN CHARGE OF 35
MEN. HE'S A DEPUTY AGENT.

A DEPUTY AGENT.

THAT'S AN IMPOSING
TITLE FOR A GUNFIGHTER.

I'M WELL QUALIFIED FOR THE JOB.

I'M SURE YOU ARE.

THERE IS A POSSIBILITY
WE COULD USE ANOTHER...

I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL... AS YOU SAY.

IN THAT CASE, I BID
YOU GOOD DAY AGAIN.

GENTLEMEN.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

MR. SUKEY? THAT'S RIGHT.

MY NAME IS PALADIN.
I'M LOOKING FOR A JOB.

THE OPPOSITION TURN YOU DOWN?

I SAW YOU LEAVING THEIR OFFICES.

I'M SHOPPING, MR. SUKEY.
WHAT CAN YOU OFFER?

THE PREVAILING RATE. 20...

30 DOLLARS A DAY.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN PIN MONEY.

DO YOU HAVE AN OPENING
FOR A DEPUTY AGENT?

I MIGHT HAVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS
FIGHT'S ALL ABOUT?

FOR CONTROL OF THE
TRANSCONTINENTAL ROUTE.

SPECIFICALLY, FOR CONTROL
OF A RAIL RIGHT OF WAY

FROM THIS TOWN
ACROSS RAYMOND GORGE.

WHICH WE SAY THE TC
AND O LEASED TO US.

THEY CLAIM THEY DIDN'T.
NOW IT'S DEADLOCKED.

WE HAVE THE GORGE
BUT THEY HAVE THE DEPOT.

ONE'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THE OTHER.

YOU NEED A MAN CAPABLE
OF UNLOCKING THE DEADLOCK.

THE DEPOT'S HEAVILY GUARDED.
THE MAN IN CHARGE IS RALPH COE.

YOU KNOW HIM? WE'VE MET.

HE'S SMART, TRICKY.
VERY FAST WITH A GUN.

THE MAN I HIRE WOULD
HAVE TO BE SMARTER.

TRICKIER, FASTER.
WE WANT THAT DEPOT.

THAT'S AN OLD
FRONTIER STORY, ISN'T IT?

YOU HIRE THE GUNS
TO SPILL THE BLOOD

AND YOU AND
MR. FOSTER PAY THE BILLS.

YOU HERE TO MORALIZE
OR DO YOU WANT A JOB?

WHAT KIND OF A
FEE WOULD YOU PAY?

YOU'D HAVE TO SHOW ME
YOU'RE WORTH IT, OF COURSE.

I UH... MIGHT GO A
THOUSAND FOR A GOOD MAN.

BUT YOU'RE TALKING MORE
LIKE A PREACHER THAN...

WHERE'S THE CASH BOX?

COME ON.

OPEN IT.

HMMM.

WOULD YOU PAY TWO THOUSAND?

ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE HIRED.

THANK YOU.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW
HOW MANY MEN I NEED

WHEN I'VE SEEN THE DEPOT.

MR. COE, THAT'S QUITE A
DELEGATION YOU'VE GOT.

THEY'RE JUST HERE
TO SEE THE FUN.

I HEAR YOU JOINED UP
WITH CONTINENTAL DIVIDE.

DON'T PUSH, WE'LL BE
FIGHTING SOON ENOUGH.

MAYBE SOON ENOUGH FOR
YOU ISN'T SOON ENOUGH FOR ME.

IT'LL HAVE TO BE.

FOSTER THINKS YOU
MIGHT BE TOUGH.

I WANT TO FIND OUT. NOT NOW.

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE TOUGH.
I THINK YOU'RE YELLOW!

COE, LOOK AT IT LOGICALLY.

I KILL YOU, ONE OF
YOUR MEN KILLS ME.

AND NEITHER OF US
WOULD HAVE A CHANCE

TO SPEND OUR DEPUTY
AGENT'S FEES, WOULD WE.

DRAW.

IN DUE TIME, MR. COE.

PALADIN!

PALADIN!

YOU GONNA SHOOT ME
IN THE BACK, MR. COE?

[ALL LAUGHING]

PALADIN, THE GUNFIGHTER
FROM SAN FRANCISCO!

[HAMMERING]

COE MADE QUITE A FOOL
OUT OF YOU YESTERDAY.

I DON'T THINK SO, MR. SUKEY.

I SIGNED ON TO TAKE
THAT DEPOT, AND I MEAN TO.

I'M NO LONGER SURE
YOU'RE THE MAN FOR THE JOB.

OH, WHY NOT?

I'M NOT PAYING $2,000 TO A MAN
THAT WALKS AWAY FROM GUNS.

SUKEY, YOU HIRED ME AND
YOU'RE GOING TO PAY ME.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET
YOUR MONEY'S WORTH.

BUT I'LL DO THE
JOB IN MY OWN WAY.

I GOT 20 MEN FOR YOU.
THEY JUST GOT HERE.

THEY'RE IN THE BAR.

HOW DO YOU FIGURE TO DO THE JOB?

FIRST, I'LL GET A
LEGAL EVICTION ORDER.

A LEGAL... OH!

YOU MAY WANT IT
BUT YOU WON'T GET IT.

THE SHERIFF IN THIS
TOWN WON'T GET INVOLVED.

HE'S STAYING RIGHT
ON THAT FENCE.

I'LL GET THE ORDER. YEAH?

EVEN IF YOU DO GET IT,
YOU TRY TO SERVE IT ON COE

AND YOU'LL BE CARRYING
YOUR HEAD IN YOUR HANDS.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE
PAYING ME FOR, SUKEY.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THOSE MEN.

MORNING, DAVE.

YOU FIND A JOB YET?
WORKIN' FOR SUKEY.

TOO BAD.

I GUESS THAT PUTS US ON
OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE FENCE.

NO, IT DOESN'T.

I TOLD YOU THIS
TOWN COULD BE SAVED.

I NEED SOMETHING FROM YOU.

WHAT WOULD THAT BE?

AN EVICTION ORDER TO GET
COE'S MEN OUT OF THAT DEPOT.

AN EVICTION ORDER?

WHO'S GONNA SERVE IT?

I AM.

I'VE SEEN THOSE MEN OF SUKEY'S.

HOW FAR DO YOU THINK YOU'LL GET?

THAT'S MY WORRY. IT'S MINE TOO.

THERE'S BEEN ENOUGH
KILLIN' IN THIS TOWN.

YOUR MAIN WORRY IS
ENFORCING THE LAW.

I'VE OFFERED TO HELP
YOU. DO I GET THE ORDER?

I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE.

I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I'VE
TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL GIVE
YOU AN EVICTION ORDER.

YOU MAY EVEN SERVE IT ON COE.

BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET
OUT OF THAT DEPOT ALIVE.

HERE'S THE EVICTION NOTICE
SIGNED BY THE SHERIFF.

WELL... YOU GOT
QUINN OFF THE FENCE.

MAYBE YOU'LL EARN
YOUR FEE AFTER ALL.

NOW, WHO SERVES THE ORDER?

I DO.

YOU'LL EARN YOUR FEE BUT
YOU WON'T LIVE TO SPEND IT.

THAT'S FUNNY, THAT'S JUST
WHAT THE SHERIFF SUGGESTED.

ANSWER ME ONE QUESTION.

HOW MUCH IS THIS FIGHT
COSTING CONTINENTAL DIVIDE?

THAT'S NO CONCERN OF YOURS.

IN LOST PASSENGER
AND FREIGHT REVENUE,

PAYROLL FOR YOUR GUNMEN,
DAMAGES TO STOCK AND EQUIPMENT,

HOW MUCH A DAY?

MAYBE SEVEN, EIGHT
THOUSAND. WHY?

WITH THIS EVICTION
ORDER, I WANT TO OFFER COE

$10,000 TO SURRENDER
THE DEPOT TO YOU.

$10,000... LESS THAN TWO DAYS
OF WHAT YOU'RE PAYING NOW.

WELL... DO YOU
THINK HE'D LISTEN?

THERE'S NO WAY OF
KNOWING 'TIL HE'S ASKED.

YEAH.

THAT'S NOT A BAD
NOTION. NOT BAD AT ALL.

WHO'LL MAKE HIM THE OFFER?

I WILL, UNDER
CERTAIN CONDITIONS.

THAT I CAN ASSURE HIM
THE DEAL IS FOR CASH,

THAT IT'S FIRM,

AND THERE'LL BE NO HAGGLING
ABOUT THE PRICE AFTERWARDS.

AGREED.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET IT DONE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, PALADIN?

A WORD WITH YOU. IN PRIVATE.

YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH IN
THE WAY OF BRAINS, DO YOU?

STANDING OUT THERE IN THE OPEN.

WILL YOU HEAR
WHAT I HAVE TO SAY?

ALL RIGHT.

THROW YOUR GUN DOWN
AND COME IN SLOW AND EASY.

TALK.

COE, I VOLUNTEERED
TO SERVE YOU THIS.

PALADIN, YOU AMAZE ME.

YOU JUST TAKE THIS AND
YOU'LL BE A LOT MORE AMAZED.

$10,000 MORE. $10,000 FOR WHAT?

JUST TO HONOR
THIS EVICTION NOTICE.

WHO PAYS ME? SUKEY.

CASH?

MY MEN... I'D HAVE TO
GIVE THEM SOMETHING.

THAT'S UP TO YOU.

TWO OR THREE THOUSAND
WOULD HOLD THEM.

THAT'D LEAVE ME...
SEVEN OR EIGHT.

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
SEVEN, EIGHT THOUSAND.

IT'S A FAIR SUM.

ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT
YOURSELF A DEAL.

WHERE'S THE MONEY?

YOU GET IT WHEN
SUKEY'S IN THE DEPOT.

YOU KNOW, PALADIN...

YOU BOUGHT YOURSELF
OUT OF A LOT OF TROUBLE.

LARRY, ROUND UP
THE REST OF THE MEN.

FAST! COME ON.

COE!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I WAS SERVED THIS.

WHY, IT'S WORTHLESS!
LOOKS LEGAL TO ME.

SOMETHING STINKS HERE, COE.

YOU SOLD OUT TO
CONTINENTAL DIVIDE!

THAT'S AN EVICTION NOTICE!

AND THOSE ARE THE
FORTUNES OF WAR, MR. FOSTER.

PALADIN.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
YOU. WHERE'S SUKEY?

WE SELDOM DINE TOGETHER. WHY?

I WENT TO HIS OFFICE TO COLLECT.

HE'S GONE, MOVED OUT.

TRY THE DEPOT?

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'LL GO WITH YOU, HE
OWES ME MY FEE TOO.

PALADIN AND COE.

WE WANT TO TALK TO SUKEY.

[SUKEY:] WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WE WANT OUR MONEY!

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO PULL, PALADIN?

I ALREADY GAVE YOU
BOTH YOURS AND COE'S.

NOW YOU DON'T
BELIEVE THAT, DO YOU?

WHAT IS THIS? YOU TRYING TO
CHEAT COE OUT OF HIS MONEY?

DON'T PLAY GAMES WITH
ME, I WANT THAT MONEY!

I'M WARNING YOU, PALADIN.

GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I
HAVE CLARY OPEN FIRE ON YOU!

PALADIN!

I WANT MY MONEY.

THE MONEY!

YOU'RE NOT AS SMART
AS I THOUGHT YOU WERE.

YOU OWE ME $10,000.

USE YOUR BRAIN!

WOULD I BE CASUALLY
WALKING DOWN THE BOARDWALK

WAITING FOR YOU TO FIND
ME IF I HAD YOUR $10,000?

I TOLD YOU TO USE YOUR BRAIN!

DO YOU HAVE MY MONEY?

IF YOU'RE LYIN' TO ME,

I'M GONNA KILL YOU
ONE WAY OR THE OTHER!

YOU'RE GONNA START THAT AGAIN?

COE, JUST HOW
STRONG IS THAT DEPOT?

PLENTY STRONG.

FOOD AND WATER SUPPLY?
ENOUGH FOR TWO WEEKS.

WE COULD WAIT THEM OUT.

WELL, COE...

THIS IS MINING
COUNTRY, ISN'T IT?

YEAH, WHY?

ALL WE NEED IS A LITTLE FUSE,

SOME BLASTING POWDER AND
MUSCLE TO MOVE THIS THING.

YOU WITH ME?

EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

WELL, COME ON.

ENOUGH? ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.

WE'RE NOT THE FIRST ONES

TO PLACE GREAT
STORE BY OUR CANNONS.

NAPOLEON HAD GREAT FAITH IN HIS.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
HE TRIED TO TAKE A DEPOT

WITH ONE CANNON AND TWO MEN?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT IF
THIS DOESN'T WORK,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A CHANCE
TO ASK HIM PERSONALLY.

ALL RIGHT.

I GOT NUTS, SPIKES, OLD BOLTS...

[COE:] THIS BARREL
IS RUSTED THROUGH.

IT'LL BLOW UP
RIGHT IN OUR FACES.

[GUNFIRE]

YOU MEN IN THERE LISTEN!

I GOT A ONE-MINUTE
FUSE ON THIS THING!

WE WANT SUKEY, NOT YOU!

BUT IF HE DOESN'T SURRENDER,

WE'LL BLOW THAT DEPOT TO PIECES.

[CRACKLING]

YOU'VE GOT 45 SECONDS!

WE'LL BLOW THOSE WALLS
DOWN AND FILL THAT DEPOT

WITH BLIND SCRAP METAL.

[GUNFIRE]

COME HERE! LARRY!

[SUKEY SHOUTING]

YOU CAN HAVE SUKEY!
COME ON AND GET HIM!

[EXPLOSION]

THE KEY! COME ON!

PALADIN!

YOU DIRT!

YOU CHEAP DIRT!

YOU SOLD ME OUT.

WHAT'LL YOU DO
ABOUT IT? HOLD THIS.

WHAT'LL YOU DO ABOUT IT, HUH?

TURN RIGHTEOUSLY
INDIGNANT? FEEL JUSTIFIED?

BRING YOUR MEN BACK INTO THIS
DEPOT? TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF!

YOU WANT TO REPEAT THIS
CYCLE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN?

UNTIL THIS TOWN IS ONLY
FIT FOR THE LIKES OF YOU?

OH NO, GENTLEMEN.

THIS ARGUMENT IS ABOUT A LEASE.

AND A LEASE IS WORDS.

WHAT WORDS MEAN CAN BE
SETTLED BY A COURT OF LAW.

AND THAT'S THE
WAY IT'S GONNA BE!

I THINK I OWE YOU ONE
OF THESE, MR. PALADIN.

SO YOU DO, MR. COE.

YOUR MONEY. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE A GOOD MAN.

AT LEAST WE HAD THE DECENCY
TO FIGHT AMONG OURSELVES.

LET'S GO, COE.

PALADIN...

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T
FIGURE THIS THING OUT.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE
EVER BEEN ON THE RIGHT SIDE,

AND ENDED UP WITH $10,000.

SEE YOU AROUND.

MR. PALADIN.

PACKAGE FOR YOU JUST COME.

THAT FEELS LIKE A BOX OF CIGARS.

DEAR PALADIN, I
HOPE THESE CIGARS

DON'T BLOW UP IN YOUR
FACE LIKE SOME I'VE SEEN.

10,000 THANKS. YOUR FRIEND, COE.

LOTS OF THANKS.
10,000, MR. PALADIN.

EACH THANK IS WORTH ONE DOLLAR.

PUT THOSE IN MY ROOM, WILL YOU?

EACH THANK?