Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 5, Episode 10 - Year of the Dog - full transcript

( music playing )

Max: This is my
boss Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H.

She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy
because when they met,

it was murder.



( music playing )

( barks )

Man: The Shaolin
carvings, the set of 12

will make me unconquerable.

These 11 are worthless
without the dog.

( bell ringing )

You may come in, Mr. Vasquez.

This...

is a room of prayer
and meditation.

I apologize for not being
able to offer you a chair.

Well, thank you, Mr. Cheng.

The floor is fine.

The auction is
tomorrow in Los Angeles.

Have you made arrangements?



I have my tickets
and the $750,000.

I... want the Shaolin dog.

I know the market and
no one will bid above

$500,000.

I think you will
get what you want.

Don't think, Mr. Vasquez.

Deliver.

We have worked
together for years now.

You have earned my trust.

The honor of obtaining the piece

has come into your hands.

Consider, consider it done.

If you fail, you
risk loss of face.

I understand.

In my house, one cannot live

with loss of face.

Make sure he gets the dog.

If there are any obstacles...

remove them.

There it is.

I don't know, Mr. H.

It sure don't look like much.

I've seen ceramic statues

of Lassie with more detail.

It's the history, Max.

You see, that represents a year

in the Chinese calendar.

Oh yeah, like the things

Mrs. H wrote the article on.

Several articles.

Besides, it's Chinese

and you know how
Mrs. H loves Asia

and the culture and the people.

Be my guest.

It still isn't as useful as
a new set of golf clubs.

Mrs. H already has a
new set of golf clubs.

Yeah, but I don't.

The Shaolin dog is
the only surviving piece

of the set of 12 pieces created

by the Shaolin priest Chen Cheng

in the 16th Century.

The pieces were separated
at the time of his death

and have never
since been reunited.

There is a legend, however,

that whoever shall
possess all 12 pieces

shall also possess
invincibility.

But since 11 of the
pieces are already missing,

we shall never know.

Let's start the auction.

I like an opening
bid of $100,000.

Who will give me
a bid of $100,000?

- Woman: One hundred thousand.
- Thank you.

It looks like we'll have
a very spirited afternoon.

$100,000 is the bid,

looking for 125. Do I hear 125?

- 125.
- Thank you, sir.

I have 125, looking for 150.

Who will make it 150?

$150,000.

Man: Thank you. I have $150,000,

looking for 175. Do I hear 175?

Darling?

Max, I'm home.

Hi, Freeway.

What's that?

Come here.

"Darling, went to see
a man about a dog."

Well, I guess it's just
you and me, Freeway.

I'll tell you what, why
don't you come upstairs

and I'll show you what I bought?

Come on, Freeway.

Well, we've had a very
exciting afternoon so far.

The bidding stands at $650,000.

Now, let me remind
you that we have

rises of $25,000
only in the bidding.

So, shall we
continue at $650,000?

675.

675. Thank you, sir.

700.

Man: $700,000 is the bid.

$725,000.

Ladies and gentlemen,
let me remind you,

this carving is
over 400 years old,

a treasure worth owning.

750.

Thank you, sir. 750.

A rare piece of history.

A rare opportunity.

Any rises?

Do I hear any more bidding?

Very well, 750,000 is the bid.

Going once.

Going twice.

775.

You don't want that
guy to beat us, do you?

That's my bid, $775,000.

Thank you, sir. $775,000
is the standing bid.

Sir?

I can't hold up
the auction, sir.

I believe you have $775,000.

Correct.

$775,000 is the bid.

Do I hear any rises?

Are we all through?

Going once, going twice.

The Shaolin Dog is sold

for $775,000 to
Mr. Jonathan Hart!

- We did it, Mr. H.
- We certainly did, Max.

$775,000.

For a green Schnauzer,

we better not tell Freeway.

Jonathan: Yeah.

Excuse me, sir. May I
speak with you for a minute?

- Come on. That's it.
- I got it, whatever it is.

- Oh.
- There you go.

Aren't you gonna tell
me what this is all about?

- Watch your step.
- I can't watch my step.

I've got my eyes covered.

You're almost on
the lane, there you go.

- Okay. I got it. All right.
- Turn to the left.

- Where is it...
- Step, step.

- I got it. Okay.
- There you are.

- Uh-huh.
- Max, you got it together?

- Max: All set, Mr. H.
- Good.

Wait. I got it. I've got it.

Wait a minute.
You got two tickets

and we're going to Europe.

We're going to the
living room. Come on.

Now keep your
eyes closed, will you?

I can't, but I can try. Promise
you won't let me fall over anything.

I won't. I promise you.

- That's not a funny thing.
- Yeah.

Turn to your right.
Go ahead. Go on.

- Okay.
- Come on.

Where are we going?

Watch it, watch it now.

All right. Now turn to the left.

- Back up a little bit.
- Whoa.

- Oh, this is so it.
- Open your eyes.

Ah.

- Oh, a present.
- Yeah.

Slide that open.

Oh, I love presents.

Look at that. A box.

There's something inside.

I bet there is.

Aha, another box.

Open that up.

Nothing's gonna
jump at me, isn't it?

No.

Oh, look at that.

It's a box.

Jonathan.

Jonathan.

That's the Shaolin Dog.

I know, but where
did you find it?

- It was auctioned off.
- I didn't hear about that.

Jonathan: Of course
you didn't hear about it.

I had Max hide the notice.

Darling, I'm speechless.

Yeah. It's beautiful, isn't it?

- It's magnificent.
- Here.

They say...

They say that the
one who wears it

- becomes...
- Becomes invincible.

Right.

You better be careful.

What do you mean?

I'll explain later.

Jonathan: Dinner at Lin Chou's?

- You think of everything.
- Almost everything.

But you're going to
explain it to me later, hmm?

Uh-huh.

Oh.

( laughs ) Oh, dear.

Ooh, fortune cookies.

- You first.
- No, no, no. You.

No, you first.

Together.

Romance and adventure
are close cousins.

Oh, kissing cousins.

Jennifer: What does yours say?

I can't read it.

Give it to me.

A slow and steady
hand reaches its goal.

I like mine more.

I like them together.

- I'll drink to that.
- Hmm.

( speaking foreign language )

Man: Put your
jewelry in the bag.

Faster, come on.

Wait a minute.

Don't give anything
to these clowns.

It would be best to cooperate.

What are you gonna
do about it if I don't?

( speaking foreign language )

( buzzer )

Whoever it is, Max,
tell them we're not in.

And thanks very
much, Lieutenant.

Bye-bye. Nothing yet,
but they'll contact us

- when they hear something.
- Max: Yes. Who is it?

Max: It's the State Department.

Jennifer: Lang Chen Cheng.

He's one of the most
powerful men in the world.

Man: That's right.

We don't think it was
just the burglary last night.

We think Cheng wanted your jade.

And what about the man
who died at the auction?

Cheng's work.

You're familiar with the legend

behind the carving?

Yes.

It is said that he who possesses

all 12 of the
statues is invincible,

but it's Chinese mythology.

It may be Chinese mythology

and we certainly
don't believe it,

but Cheng does.

I do know one thing.

He's a fanatic on
all things Chinese.

I think I'm about to hear

the other shoe drop.

Consider it dropped.

There's been a lot of
movement the last six months

in the Chinese Triads in Macao,

arms, money, personnel.

Triads?

It's the underworld.

It goes back into history.

Chinese criminal gangs.

Guns are pretty much
Cheng's stock-in-trade.

Then why the sudden
interest on the jade dog?

That we don't know,

but because of all
the interest in the dog,

we think he's up to
something very big.

So, what you're saying is that

once he feels he's invincible

that he'll make
some sort of a move?

Very good.

And we want to know what
that move is going to be.

But the legend
says that he must be

in possession of
all 12 of the statues.

The statues disappeared
hundreds of years ago.

The remaining 11 could have been

destroyed or lost.

Or hidden away in
private collections

which may explain why
he was so determined

to get the jade.

He may be trying to
reassemble the set.

( speaking foreign language )

You carry the honor of my house.

You will be rewarded
for your courage

and your bravery.

Jonathan: What division
of the State Department

did you say you're
with, Mr. Sumner?

We're sort of a watchdog group.

We get involved in
all areas of security

as we're needed.

What you're saying is that

you don't want to be specific.

I'm telling you what I can.

You do know that I'm going
to have you checked out.

I expected that.

Mr. Sumner, if Cheng is involved

in running guns in
that part of the world,

that could possibly
stir up all of Asia,

and that's a government issue.

Why have you come to us?

You said that more eloquently

than I could have, Mrs. Hart.

It's your knowledge
of Asia, how it works,

how the Asian's
think, what's at stake.

Jennifer is right.

Why don't you use
your own people?

Cheng is one step ahead of us.

We've lost six agents
over the last eight months.

The back door is close to us.

We need to get in
through the front door.

Meaning us?

I realize what I'm
asking, Mr. Hart.

I also realize that your wife

is quite right when
she said that Cheng

could shake up all Asia.

There may be thousands
of lives at stake.

You and Mrs. Hart
may be the only chance

of avoiding that.

Ling's Ivory Shop,
#5, Macao Street.

You'd think after
seven days of briefing

that Sumner would've clued
us in on the local weather.

( speaking foreign language )

( speaking foreign language )

Good afternoon.

Help you?

We are interested in something

of the Ming period,
jade preferably.

So sorry.

No jade. Only ivory.

Oh, but jade is more
the thing of the times,

is it not?

Welcome to Macao,
Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

Thank you.

You still think it's wise

not to approach Cheng directly?

Definitely.

He would probably inquire

how you knew that
he possessed the dog.

That won't take long.

After that, he would
most likely kill you.

If we speak to these people,

you assure that Cheng
will find out about it.

Word in Macao moves
through the streets quickly.

The triads will
get word to Cheng.

Let him get in touch with you.

Let him think it's his idea.

Ling, this contact list
mentions Four Star Wu,

says that it's a noodle factory.

A front.

Wu is a triad general.

This is China, Mr. Hart.

It's got ways of its own,

even the police accountable.

You're better off
with the triads here

than with the local authorities.

The triads are criminals.

They also have influence

with some of the authorities.

Leave the police out of it.

Thank you very much.

If we need you, we can reach you

at the store?

It is home too.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Oh, the less time
we're together,

the better.

Good luck.

Thanks very much.

Bye-bye.

Shall we visit the
noodle factory?

Why not?

I always like topping
off a good meal

by mingling with
the criminal element.

Let's mingle.

( speaking foreign language )

Something wrong?

We're being followed.

I saw that man
at the restaurant.

Where is he?

He's standing back
there by the brass.

I think it's time
to shake our tail.

I think we lost him.

That was very clever

going in the front door

and coming out the back.

Thanks to Sean Connery
in "From Russia with Love."

Oh.

Who's next on the list?

No, Wu's next on the list.

We're here to see Four Star Wu.

We're looking for some jade.

Man: Be seated.

American.

A good guess, Mr. Wu.

I never guess, it's
the way you walk,

less embarrassed
than the British,

more striding than
the Europeans.

I understand that you specialize

in hard to find jade.

This is a noodle factory.

What were you looking for?

A Shaolin carving.

A dog.

Jonathan: Can you get it?

This is China.

Everything can
be had for a price.

So much for Sean Connery.

Pardon me.

Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry.

- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.

( horn honking )

( tires screeching )

( speaking foreign language )

( phone ringing )

( rings )

( speaking foreign language )

( continues speaking
foreign language )

( speaks foreign language )

Oh, I guess we should've
had training wheels.

Well, we lost our friend.

Oh, put it over
on the side here.

They obviously don't have

very tough driving
tests around here.

Let's see if we can
find a telephone.

Up here?

( knocks )

Excuse me.

Could we use your telephone?

( speaking foreign language )

It's not a dialect I understand.

( speaking foreign language )

Oh, thank you.

( speaking foreign language )

Oh.

What did she say?

It was... I think we're
supposed to wait here.

Isn't this magnificent?

Oh.

You'll have to forgive Meng.

She only speaks... (
speaks foreign language )

I am Lang Chen Cheng.

Welcome to my house,
Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

( speaking foreign language )

It was fortunate
that you weren't hurt

and found your way
to my humble home.

I hope you'll accept
my hospitality.

Oh, that's very kind
of you, Mr. Cheng,

but we don't want to
put you to any trouble.

It's no trouble
at all, Mrs. Hart.

And it's getting very late.

Please stay here tonight.

I think if we could
just use your telephone

that would be very helpful.

I'm afraid I don't have one.

But you'll be very
comfortable here.

And in the morning,

I'll arrange to have
you driven to your hotel.

She will take you to your room.

Thank you.

- Good night.
- Good night.

I'll see to it that you're
well taken care of.

Oh, yes. I'm sure you will.

Cheng certainly
is a generous host.

Or a very civilized executioner.

Isn't it funny the
way we got here,

coincidence?

Coincidence and
Cheng are close cousins.

I think that he lead us
right to his front doorstep.

Then we're not
guests, we're prisoners.

But we are where
Sumner wanted us to be.

We are inside of Cheng's house.

( honking )

Maybe we better go
and check and see

what's going on
outside Cheng's house.

Just checking, sleep tight.

Maybe we better try
and get some sleep.

That's a very good idea.

Comfortable bed.

Uh-huh.

Try and get some sleep.

You too.

- Good night.
- Good night.

By this evening,

I want the place cleared out.

First, the guns

and then we can get
rid of Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

( speaks foreign language )

- Jonathan: Darling.
- Oh.

How did you sleep?

Not very well, how about you?

Not very well.

Maybe we should
check on our friend.

Anything?

Nothing.

Maybe he's at breakfast
having his Wheaties.

He sure has a decorator
with strange taste.

Less is more.

You game?

I've had a sinking feeling

ever since we got here.

Funny you should say that.

Oh, it's magnificent.

And recently vacated.

This must be some
sort of a prayer room.

And we know what
Cheng was praying for.

Look.

Jennifer: They haven't
been together as a set

since the 16th Century.

( man speaking
foreign language )

I did pray for it.

( speaking foreign language )

( speaking foreign language )

They have dial tones in China?

I think so.

No dial tones.

Look at this.

Jungle trails, dirt tracks

leading all the way up
to Northern Thailand.

Thailand.

Cheng really does
wanna shake up Asia.

And the United
States and Russia.

We've got to get
this map to Ling.

( men speaking
foreign language )

( speaking foreign language )

He's not wasting any time.

Until he finds out
we have the dog.

The Harts are gone
and so is the dog.

What?

I think it's time that we
found more suitable lodgings.

I want the dog and
I want them alive.

I have a feeling
we're being followed.

We can't get out this way.

We're running out of ways.

Wait.

Put your feet on the door.

Maybe we should stay for tea.

I'm surprised at you, Mr. Hart.

I was led to believe that
you are a man of courage,

not a man of ignorance.

You can't stop me.

Your government can't stop me.

The guns will be
delivered on schedule.

You've lost perspective, Cheng.

I think you're obsessed.

Obsessed.

What makes a
man great, Mr. Hart?

You should know
something about greatness.

Isn't obsession, tenacity,

total commitment to an ideal

are necessary part of
every successful man?

Those who are patient
are not successful.

They consider
obstacles, not the goal.

What about honor?

Isn't that part
of your heritage?

Are you going to kill us
while we're defenseless?

If that were the case,
you would be dead already.

I am always honorable.

You'll have a chance
to defend yourself.

( gong bonging )

Mr. Hart.

You have the choice of weapons.

( screams )

( acid boiling )

Natural acid,
capable of dissolving

all metals and organic matter.

( grunts )

( panting )

It seems as if
you've lost, Mr. Hart.

No, Mr. Cheng, you've lost.

Call your men off.

( speaking foreign language )

Tell them to leave the room.

Tell them.

( speaking foreign language )

( grunts )

( panting )

Thanks for putting on the dog.

( sighs )

Cheng.

It's too late.

But why?

He didn't have to die.

He knew he was
going to be caught.

He lost face.

This is China.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Darling, I know
you like surprises,

but why did we come
to this restaurant?

Well, I thought it would be
a good place to celebrate.

Cheng's gun shipments
have been intercepted

and we've got the
dog back for one night.

Oh, by the way,
the museum called

and they said they're delighted

that you're donating
all 12 pieces.

Then I save face.

Oh. I love your face.

Oh. Thanks.

It's just that I don't know

if I can handle
another Chinese dinner.

Oh, I think you'll manage.

I asked Lin to fix
something special.

Man: Two cheeseburgers,

just like you ordered, Mr. Hart.

( laughs )

( metal clanking )

( laughs )

( theme music playing )