Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 4, Episode 2 - With This Hart, I Thee Wed - full transcript

Max: This is my
boss, Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of
them, which ain't easy,

'cause when they
met, it was murder.

( theme music playing )

Darling, which one?

You look smashing.



Oh, thank you, but which
one... for the wedding,

the lavender or the peach?

The blue. Come back to bed.

Would you be serious?

I've never been more
serious in my life.

Will you come back to bed?

Breakfast coming in.

- Good morning.
- Jennifer: Max.

I checked on your
aunt's flight. It's on time.

Oh, great.

Beautiful.

Max, what do you think?

For my Aunt Renee's wedding,
the lavender or the peach?

The lavender.



Ah, there's a man who
can make a decision.

I think you're right, Max.

The peach would
clash with her red hair.

Maybe she doesn't
have red hair anymore.

She changes her hair color as
often as she changes husbands.

I hope she'll be
happy this time.

This guy Justin, will
he be number five?

- Number six.
- Number seven.

Number six was
Charlie the accountant.

Who was number five?

Number five. Gosh,
it went by so fast.

I think his name was
Sherman... or Grant.

- Lee.
- Lee, that was it.

Who was number three?

Number three was
my Uncle Benjamin.

You know, I liked
that accountant fellow.

Whatever happened to him?

Charlie? All his
accounts were out of town.

Now, listen, you two,

my Aunt Renee has
been very important to me

and I want this to
go off just perfectly.

Don't worry, Mrs. H.

She helped you with your
very first book, didn't she?

Mm. Oh, did she.

I wrote that book just
after I got out of Stanford.

I thought it was pretty good.

It was great.

Are you kidding? It
was a wonderful book.

Well, maybe so, but
I had a lot to learn,

like there's more to
writing then just writing.

You know what I mean.

- Selling?
- Selling.

You mean she
helped you sell it, too?

10 minutes after
she read that book,

she was on the
phone to every agent,

every publisher in town.

Within six months, that
book was not only sold,

but it was published. And
then she got on the phone again

and she called every talk show,

I was in autograph sessions.

It was incredible.
She was unstoppable.

Max: I'm not guaranteeing
perfection, Mrs. H.

We've never done
a wedding before.

But I assure you,
I'll do my best.

I know you will, Max.

Can we go back to bed now?

Jonathan: All right, darling,
let's go over this again.

Caterer?

"The Perfect Affair."

That's the name of it.

Music?

The Vienna Conspiracy.
It's a string quartet.

- Cake?
- The caterer is providing that.

It's coming from "La
Patisserie Parisienne."

Well, then, that does it.

I guess so. We're
supposed to provide

everything except the ceremony.

- And the groom.
- Mm... and the groom.

( horn honks )

That's her. Come on.

Follow me, folks.

I thought your aunt
had a lot of luggage.

This is it.

- Darlings.
- Oh, Aunt Renee.

Jennifer. Oh, Jonathan.

Hello. Renee. It's
nice to see you again.

Oh, well, it's Freebird.

- Oh, no.
- "Way."

Oh, yes, yes, of
course, "Waybird."

And here is my spiritual mentor,

the man I love,

the man I'm going to
marry, Justin Claiborne.

Justin, it's a
pleasure to meet you.

How do you do, Justin?

It's a pleasure to meet
Renee's two favorite people.

Justin believes that
life is made whole

by sharing one
another's consciousness.

Oh, how interesting.

Oh, Jennifer, good news.

Alden Kendra's going to
officiate in the wedding.

Alden Kendra.

Alden Kendra. I don't...

He leads the Fellowship
of the Tent and the Robe.

You see, the tent
is basic housing,

the robe is basic clothing.

Later, later, my darling.

Why don't we hold hands?

( cat meowing )

Oh. Oh, look, they
found each other.

Come on, come
on, let's hold hands.

This is truly a
basic experience.

Close your eyes.

( chuckles )

You've got nothing
to worry about, pal.

I never miss.

This one's tasty, very tasty.

And the beauty part is

I don't even have to touch it.

Of course I'll be
at the wedding.

I wouldn't miss
it for the world.

Relax. I'm telling you,
it'll be a piece of cake.

Mrs. H. says that prime
ribs is your favorite dish.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, but I'm sorry, Max.
I only eat vegetables.

I became a vegetarian.

As a matter of fact,
we both are vegetarian.

Mrs. H?

Um, well...

I'll just go along with
the vegetables, too.

You see, if you
just eat vegetables,

then you can taste
the fibers, the skins.

It's a unique experience.

Jonathan, why don't you try it?

Justin: You see,
the simpler the foods,

the less confusion
to the body systems.

The tactile sense
perceives more.

That's right. The tactile
sense receives more.

Well, I'll make a toast to that.

Oh, no, no, wine is
the thing of the past.

We don't take anything
stronger than cardamom tea.

But, darling, couldn't I
just have a glass of wine?

It's such a special occasion.

No, my darling, nothing
stronger than cardamom tea.

Yes, nothing with more
zing than cardamom tea.

Do we have any cardamom tea?

Max?

I don't know. I'll check.

He'll check.

Merci.

Jennifer: Well, Justin,

how long have you
been with the Fellowship?

About two years.

Oh.

What do you do for them?

I teach. After the wedding,

I'm going to lecture
in the Bahamas.

And then Renee and I

are going to have
a real honeymoon.

That's right.

We're going to have
a real honeymoon.

Oh.

What exactly are the principles

of the Fellowship of
the Robe and the Tent?

It's the Tent and the Robe.

Basic living, the relinquishing
of outer possessions.

Outer possessions?

Worldly goods.

Things, money. They
so easily possess us.

It's just so wonderful
to travel light.

No furs, no jewels.

Just me and my basic pearls.

Where do the possessions go

from the members
of the Fellowship?

To Jack Taylor, our treasurer.

Am I following you correctly?

You mean all of the possessions

that a member might
have go to one person?

I know what you're
thinking, Jonathan.

Unfortunately, you're not alone.

The local district attorney
has hired some CPAs

to take a look at
Mr. Taylor's books.

You see, an inquisitive
society feels threatened

when we deny the
importance of wealth.

So, society attacks
what it most needs...

The way to a
less stressful life.

No cardamom tea. Brandy?

Brandy. Brandy...?

Uh...

There. Oh, you look gorgeous.

Oh, I am so nervous.

Why?

You know how much I like color,

- and white is so blah.
- Not on you.

It's a good thing that this
dress is still holding up.

Oh, but I am a nervous wreck.

Why? You don't
doubt Justin, do you?

Oh, no, I know
that Justin is right.

But somehow it
never works for me,

and I'm so adorable.

Oh.

You remember what you told me

the first time that publisher
turned down my book?

Yes.

You said, "Nothing
comes easily, darling.

You have to keep trying."

That's true, but, you
know, after my last disaster,

I really almost
gave up marriage.

I'll say one thing
for Charlie Baines.

He is consistent. He
always let me down.

( laughs ) Come
on, let's get ready.

Oh, well, all right.
Here I go again.

( classical music playing )

Charlie?

Oh. Lovely party, huh, Jonathan?

Charlie Baines.

I didn't see any
ex-husbands on the guest list.

Ah. That makes me
feel like a new man.

And this new man
needs another drink.

Excuse me.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm Nolan, the caterer.

I'm checking the hors d'oeuvres.

I don't care who you are.
Nobody touches my oven.

Really? Most people
would appreciate some help.

I ain't most people.

( music continues )

We have to have a little talk.

Not now, Jack.

Renee, may I offer
an observation?

How lovely and serene you
are on this happy occasion.

Oh, thank you.

Justin, you're a
most fortunate man.

Justin: I couldn't agree more.

Oh, did you meet the Harts?

Oh, darlings, this is the man

I told you about, Alden Kendra.

- Jennifer: Oh, it's a pleasure.
- Thank you. For me, too.

Ah, here's Jack
Taylor, our treasurer.

Jack, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

- Jonathan: Jack.
- Nice to meet you.

- Jennifer: How do you do?
- Isn't this a lovely spot?

Oh, yes. Beautiful.

Would you excuse
us a moment, please?

- Of course.
- Thank you.

Did you invite "number
six" to number seven?

I wouldn't do a thing like that.

Well, he's crashed
and he's smashed.

Jennifer: Charlie...?

Charles.

Jennifer.

I never miss one of
Renee's weddings.

Of course, I did
have a better seat

the last time around.

- Charlie.
- Hmm?

Maybe you ought
to miss this wedding.

Maybe you better leave
before the ceremonies.

Please?

Okay. Okay, Jennifer, Jonathan.

I'm going.

Ceremonies.

Whew.

"Those who lack material things

can give, as others cannot,

the gift of pure,
unadorned love.

I see in both of you

an expressively radiant spirit.

Do you, Justin and Renee,

now in the fullness
of your desire

and for all time... Hold it!

( guests murmuring )

The only radiant
spirits around here

were bottled in Tennessee,

and they are 90
proof. ( chuckles )

Prost.

- Charles...
- Hmm? Oh.

I've asked you to leave.

Now you can have your choice
of a number of departures.

One of them should
be on your feet.

Hmm.

Goodbye, Renee.

I give this marriage six...

Six, count 'em... minutes.

I hope you catch that gold chain

on your... on your
nose and hang yourself.

Hold it. Thank you.

Oh, it was such a
lovely ceremony.

Oh, thank you so much.
It was my pleasure.

And now I really must
be going. I'm sorry.

But surely you can stay
and have some cake

- just for good luck?
- Unfortunately, I can't.

Mr. and Mrs. Hart, bye.

- Good ceremony.
- Oh, thank you.

You know, that passage you
read is one of my favorites.

Oh then, please, accept
this as my wedding present.

Oh, thank you. We
will always treasure it.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Alden.

The best hors d'oeuvres
I have ever eaten.

Max: Thank you.

( music continues )

Come on. Come on, everybody.

I'm ready to cut the cake.

Come. Hurry up, everybody.

Oh, Jennifer, this
cake is so beautiful,

I hate to cut it.

And too many wedding cakes

will make you fat.

( all chuckle )

Here we go.

Well, the first bite
is for the groom.

( applause )

( screams )

He's dead.

Thanks, Doug.

The coroner says
that cake was laced

with something called
"thaloproboximine,"

a quick-acting poison.

- Laced?
- Mm-hmm.

Enough to wipe out
your entire guest list.

Fortunately, nobody
touched that cake

after they saw what
happened to the groom.

Well, everybody
knows that the groom

gets the first piece of cake,

but why so much poison?

Maybe the killer didn't know.

Maybe he was an enthusiast.

Anyhow, I've gotta talk to
the widow. Where is she?

She's in the living
room with Jennifer.

Oh. Mrs. Claiborne, right?

Right.

Jennifer...

I know I refused the
wine yesterday, but now...

- Certainly.
- Did Max mention brandy?

I'll get it right away.

Oh, poor Justin.

I'm sure he would understand.

Renee, this is
Lieutenant Warren.

He'd like to ask
you a few questions.

Well, if you're up
to it, Mrs. Claiborne.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

It's only that... thank you...

I've been married
only 10 minutes.

I understand the
ceremony was interrupted

by Charles Baines,
your ex-husband.

We asked him to leave.

I had to give him a little
encouragement, Lieutenant,

and then he left.

After he said, "I give this
marriage six minutes?"

Yes. His timing was always bad,

but this time it was the pits.

- He was drunk.
- And accurate.

Oh, well, you don't think
it was Charles, Lieutenant.

All my husbands adored me.

Do you know where he can
be reached, Mrs. Claiborne?

Oh, I didn't know that
when I was married to him.

Jennifer, I'll
need a guest list.

Oh, right away.

Thus, in order to
achieve inner peace,

we do not merely
abandon ornamentation

and the material things,

we cast them aside
willingly and without regret.

This willingness can be
achieved through meditation,

and I urge you all to visit
the meditation tent now.

Alden, I've got to
be able to reach you.

I'm the treasurer of this place.

You mustn't turn your phone off.

I always turn the phones off
when the students are here.

It's a distraction.

Here's a real
distraction. Justin is dead.

- What?
- Apparently poisoned

immediately after
you left that wedding.

Poisoned? By whom?

Taylor, you didn't...?

Think. Would I have
done such a thing

before he performed
his little mission?

Taylor, I gave him the book.

That was supposed
to be done later.

At the time, it seemed merely

that I was giving him
a wedding present.

Now that he won't
be taking it abroad...

All right, I'll get it back.

You think the police have it?

Unless it's still
at the Hart house.

Perhaps I should
pay a call there,

offer the widow my condolences.

We can't afford
to look suspicious.

Have you forgotten the D.A.'s
interest in the Fellowship?

- We must have the book.
- I told you I'd get it.

You do what you
do best... preach.

Renee: For the
first time in my life,

I really don't feel
like going shopping,

but I just have to
get something black.

Renee: You know something?

Even in my terrible state,

Rodeo Drive has
always been my downfall.

Thank you very much

for helping me to get
my widow's weeds.

What happened?

- ( moaning )
- Max?

Wait a minute,
Max. Take it easy.

( barking, whimpering )

Freeway?

Oh, Freeway.

( faint clinking )

Wait here.

I go call the police.

( meows )

Let me guess.

You're a careful caterer

who came back to tidy up.

There wasn't a mess,
so you made some.

Well, very good, Mr. Hart.

Jonathan?

I'll be right back.

( tires screeching )

( tires screeching )

( tires screeching )

( horn honks )

( horn blares )

Jonathan: What
I can't figure out

is why the caterer
would come back here

and search the kitchen.

I don't know.

Why, if he wanted
to steal something,

didn't he take
something valuable?

- Like Renee's jewels.
- Exactly.

And I didn't even lock them up.

Why did he spend all that time

messing up the living room?

And why was Charlie
down at the gate?

We're beginning to
sound like 20 Questions.

Yeah, I wish I had 20 answers.

( telephone rings )

I'll get it.

Max? What happened here?

Oh, just a rope burn.

Hey, that feels good.

Oh, you need a woman's touch.

- Have you ever been married?
- Not lately.

Oh, well, you shouldn't
have any problems.

You're a good cook,

and cooks are very difficult

to come by these days.

I see what I can find for you.

Thank you very much,
Lieutenant. Goodbye.

That was Lieutenant Warren.

Justin was killed
by the caterer,

a hit man known
as "Overkill" Nolan.

He left his trademark...
Too much poison in the cake.

Oh, my poor Justin.

You can stop turning
now. We find your killer.

Did he say there was a motive?

We'll never find out

because they just found
Overkill shot in his van.

Oh, Justin dear, keep turning.

We didn't find him quite yet.

Charlie was following that van.

Yeah, I asked the
lieutenant about Charles.

You know what he said?

- What?
- "Don't ask."

Well, that was very rude of him.

That means that
he knows something

and he won't tell
me or he can't.

Well, which one is it,
that he won't or he can't?

- I asked him that, too.
- And...?

He wouldn't tell me that either.

Oh.

Good morning.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

I got a vegetarian fresh
fruit salad especially for you.

Oh, lovely, but do you
have some fresh eggs?

- Certainly.
- Good, I'll have three.

Three? How do you want 'em?

Oh, lying down, sitting
up, any which way.

And I have a little
tomatoes and cheese.

And what happened with
the roast from last night?

- I still got it.
- Oh, I'll have that, too.

You want toast with the roast?

Well, if you insist. And
while you're doing it,

I'll just taste this. Thank you.

Did you sleep well?

Not good.

I just... my eyes
wouldn't close,

so I read a few pages
of this lovely book

Alden Kendra
gave to poor Justin.

Do you remember?

Mm.

Jonathan.

Oh, sorry, darling. Good
morning, Aunt Renee.

Good morning.

You know what's
been bothering me?

What?

Overkill Nolan

was obviously after something.

Obviously.

But maybe he was after something

that he only thought was here.

Hmm.

Or something that was
supposed to be here but wasn't.

- What do you mean?
- Because...

Because...?

Because we didn't
have it, Renee had it.

The book.

Max found it and gave it to
me and I gave it to Renee.

But this is a beautiful book,

but it isn't valuable
except to me.

Aunt Renee, would you mind

if we borrowed that for a while?

I have a rare book dealer

I'd like to have check it out.

But of course. Anything.

Come on, darling.

See you later.

Bye, darling.

( doorbell jingles )

Mr. and Mrs. H.

Hello, Mr. W.

Still looking
for a first edition

of "The Last Tycoon"?

- Jonathan: Not today.
- What is that?

Oh, don't worry. This
hasn't gone off in 300 years.

That's what they said
about Mount St. Helen's.

Is this valuable?

"The View From My Tent."

First edition.

I've got one like this in stock.

This one was worth about $50.

Hardly worth killing for.

What do you mean,
"was" worth $50?

Until somebody put it
in this library binding.

Heavy, sturdy, the
kind that libraries use.

Original pages, old thread,

but the heavy
binding is brand new.

Nice job, though.

May I? Excuse us.

What are you doing?

Sometimes you can't
tell a book by its cover.

You can't do that
to Renee's book.

I'll don't think she'll
mind if it helps to find out

who was responsible
for her husband's death.

I hope I'm right.

"Transatlantic Development."

They've got a $2
million bank account

in the Grand Cayman.

The Bahamas.

That's where Justin and Renee

were going for their honeymoon.

And look at this.

That's a site
order for the bearer

to withdraw $2 million in cash,

signed "Johann
Schneider, Treasurer,

Transatlantic Development."

Well, either
Mr. Schneider is a crook

or he's not a very
careful treasurer.

I would say crook.

- Come on in, Arnold.
- Hi, Mr. Hart. I got it.

I couldn't wait for you
to get down to the office.

You gotta see this.

This has to do with
Transatlantic Development?

Fantastic. The mailroom
was never like this.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Hart.

Hello, Arnold.

Now, it's licensed

as a land development
company in Grand Cayman.

Unbelievable. Officers,
deposits, withdrawals,

land acquired,
sales, future plans.

But Arnold, these
pages are blank.

Not quite. Isn't it marvelous?

One officer, one deposit.

A land development
company with no land,

no development, no
employees, no plans,

and $2 million in the bank.

It's your classic hollow tree.

What is a hollow tree?

Tell her, Mr. Hart.

What's a hollow tree, darling?

You tell her.

It's like a company,
but it's just a place

to keep money until
you're ready to use it.

Did pirates hide money in trees?

What about the treasurer,
Johann Schneider?

Well, he hasn't
got a blank sheet.

He's known to the police
of several countries.

"Johann Schneider,
alias Juan Sastrero,

and Jean Couturier, present
whereabouts unknown."

Say that again.

- What part?
- The whole thing.

Oh. Er...

"Johann Schneider,
alias Juan Sastrero,

and Jean Couturier, present
whereabouts unknown."

( laughs )

What is it?

I know where he is.

He's right here in Los Angeles.

- He is?
- Uh-huh.

( telephone rings )

Shall I get that, Mr. Hart?

Yeah, please, Arnold.

- Jack Taylor.
- Hart residence.

Just a minute, please.

Darling, "Schneider"
is German for tailor.

"Sastrero"... Spanish
for tailor, "couturier"...

French for tailor.

Exactly.

Johann, Juan, and Jean...

- Jack.
- Mm-hmm.

- Jack Taylor.
- Jack Taylor.

It's for you, Mr. Hart.

- You're terrific.
- Thank you.

Oh, you're great,

you're beautiful,
and you're smart.

Yes?

Yeah, put him on.

It's Mr. W.

They're transferring
his call from the office.

Mr. W.

He's not in?

Could you please tell
me when he'll be back?

You can't talk right now, right?

Would you tell Mr. Hart

that I have a customer
who's interested

in buying a rare
book that he owns?

We'll be right over.

Thanks, Arnold.

Aunt Renee's book

is becoming more valuable
by the minute. Come on.

Squirrels hide nuts in
hollow trees, Mr. Hart.

Maybe that's how it started.

- What?
- "Hollow trees."

Oh, thank you.

I thought you said he
was gonna call back.

It's been 15 minutes.

Maybe he's busy.

Mm-hmm.

Why don't you come back later?

Oh, very funny.

And what, may I ask, is this?

- That book?
- Mm-hmm.

"The View From My Tent."

"The View From My Tent."

Well, tell me, Mr. Whitehead,

have you a rear
entrance to this place?

Thank you. All
right, Mr. Whitehead.

I think I'll say
goodbye to you now.

You've been very
cooperative and most pleasant,

and I do thank you.
Oh, will you tell Mr. Hart

that I decided not
to wait for him?

Thank you.

Sorry, Charles.

No sale.

We've got to stop
meeting like this, Charles.

Now start talking.
Where do you fit in?

Hold it. Hold it.

It's only my wallet.

I happen to be a
special investigator

with the District Attorney.

We're working on The Tent
and Robe Fellowship case.

See?

Go ahead and call them
if you don't believe me.

You sure have a strange
way of investigating things.

Why didn't you ask me
about the book or Mr. W.?

I had no way of
knowing he wasn't in on it

or you either, for that matter.

The man you really
should be talking to

is a man called Jack Taylor.

Mm-hmm, alias Johann
Schneider, alias...

You know about him?

Mm-hmm. And the
Transatlantic Development.

They've hidden $2
million in a hollow tree.

A hollow tree is a...

- We know.
- We know.

We want the top
man, Alden Kendra.

He gave this book
to Justin Claiborne,

Renee's late bride-groom.

So you think that Kendra

is putting the nuts
in the hollow tree?

Oh, I know it. I
just can't prove it.

Does Renee know that
you're an investigator?

No. Why on earth
would I tell her?

Because you're in love with her.

What?

Oh, come on, Charlie.

You came to the
wedding as an investigator,

but the minute you saw that
she was really going to remarry,

you got drunk and
caused a scene.

And that's love?

That's love.

What's the plan?

Well, Mr. W. did quite a
good job, don't you think?

He certainly did.
It's just like new.

It's ringing.

( telephone rings )

( rings )

Yes?

Oh, Renee. Good of you to call.

Did you get my note?

Yes. It was very
nice of you to write.

I'm just calling to tell you

that I'm going back to New York.

You are? Oh.

By the way,

have you been reading
that book I gave Justin?

Oh, yes. Oh, Alden,
you forgot to inscribe it.

Could you possibly?

I'd be delighted to.

Oh, good. Well, the only problem

is that I'm on my
way to the airport.

Oh, well, why don't you
drop by here on your way?

I'd be glad to wait.

Yes, yes, we could do that.

You see, the Harts
are driving me.

We'll be there, all three of us.

I'll be here, Renee.

Thank you, Alden.

You were wonderful.

I was, wasn't I? ( giggles )

Jack Taylor, please.

Pack your bags, Jack.

We'll be on our way in an hour.

The fools are bringing it to me.

Right.

I'm so nervous.

It's really spooky to
have the police right here.

And if they are right here,

at least I would know
who exactly is listening.

Well, at least it's nice to know

that they're on your side...

or in the middle, so to speak.

I'm delighted to see you.

Mr. and Mrs. Hart, I'd
love to show you around,

but I know you're
in a hurry, Renee.

Yes, I am, and I
mustn't miss my plane.

Will you please sign this book?

Of course.

Renee, have you
left the Fellowship?

Oh, I'm afraid I did.
You see, since Justin...

Don't you see this
changes everything?

I mean, I gave
the book to Justin,

but it was never my intention

that it should pass
out of the Fellowship.

What are you saying?

Justin would have
wanted this to remain here

for the benefit of
all the students.

But you gave the book to Justin.

That's all I have of him.

Donate it to the
Fellowship, Renee.

The book is not Justin.

He exists in your
memory. Please.

Absolutely not.
The book is Justin,

and I'm not ready
to give it up yet.

Neither am I. This
interview is over.

You might check
that book out, Kendra.

It may not make any difference.

All right, Mr. Hart, what
have you done with it?

A gun. He's got a gun.

That's very good.

There was a bank book.

Well, if it's yours
and you've lost it,

you've got nothing
to worry about.

No one else can use it but you.

And a draft, a site draft.

Anyone with that book
and that document...

The book and the draft.

I put them there
myself. I know it.

Drop it, Kendra, drop it.

I'm with the District
Attorney's office.

Oh, Charlie.

I'll be right with you, love.

Drop it. You haven't a chance.

Now, you have the
right to remain silent,

but if you give up that
right, I must warn you...

What?

All right, get back, get back.

You, too, Mr. Hart.
Come on, move. Go on.

All right, everybody
in the tent.

Single file, ladies first.

Mr. Hart, please.

Jack, there's no reason

for you to treat me as an enemy.

No reason? Do you
think I didn't know

that you and the saintly Justin

were planning to exclude me

when it was time
to split the money?

Why do you think
I had him killed?

It's all on the tape.

Then the tape will
die with the people.

You can't kill four people.

Count again, Alden. Five.

The head of the Fellowship,
who is an embezzler...

a member who was
in league with him...

her accomplices...

the lawman who
discovered the fraud

and tried to cut himself in.

So I'll be the treasurer
who discovered the fraud

and confronted
the guilty parties.

And in the ensuing battle...

which of you has the bank
book and the site order?

Please. I despise the prospect

of searching a whole
group of corpses,

but if I have to undertake

that messy task, I will.

One, two...

Here.

Got you, Kendra.

Wait, wait, wait, what?

Whew.

- Darling?
- Yeah?

Darling, do you
want one of these?

Ooh!

Jennifer: Jonathan, watch out!

Whoops!

Oh!

Charles, I could use your help.

Yes.

( laughs ) Oh...

- Thanks.
- Yes.

Oh.

Darling, here.

Thanks.

- You know what they say.
- What do they say?

"Well, if at first
you don't succeed,

try, try again."

What if you do succeed at first?

That's even better.

Jonathan: Oh, thank
you very much, Renee.

- That's really wonderful.
- Oh, you're welcome, darling.

Jennifer: It's a
very unusual gift.

- You remember that.
- How could I forget?

Renee, we are going
to miss the plane.

No, we're not. Darling,
Charlie's going to tell me

all about his experiences.

I am going be his new
under-the-covers agent.

Oh.

Oh, dear.

Oh, darlings.

Darlings, be sure to
come to the wedding.

I couldn't possibly get married

without the two of you.

We wouldn't miss
it for the world.

Oh. Goodbye.

Mm.

- Bye-bye, Charlie.
- Bye.

Another wedding. Hee, hee, hee.

Oh, they look so happy.

They do, don't they?

And every time Charlie
looks at her, he melts.

I can't imagine why he ever said

that she was
"hazardous to his health."

- Did he say that?
- Yes.

- I'll tell you one thing.
- What?

You're not hazardous
to my health.

Oh...

( bangs )

( theme music playing )