Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 4, Episode 15 - Harts on the Scent - full transcript

Man: This is my
boss, Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of
them, which ain't easy,

'cause when they
met, it was murder.

Man: Chéri?


Me, darling?

I'm sorry, I thought you
were talking to the dog.

I have something to tell you.

Please forgive me, but I
have changed my mind.

About the party?

No, about selling the company.

What about... our
plans to travel?

What about Jonathan Hart?

I will simply call
him and explain.

I am sure he will understand.

What about my understanding?

You were going to retire

so that we could spend
more time together.

We will take that
trip to Venice.

How romantic...

with you making long-distance
calls every five minutes.

No calls, I promise.

I have an errand to do.

Claire? Darling?

( sighs )

( speaks French )

Some women consider
a man's work their rival.

But you, you Napoleon,

you know everything, don't you?

You're such a wise dog.

( whistles )

( barks )

Man: ( laughs )

I brought you a
sweater, it's rather chilly.

Oh, merci, chéri.

( sighs ) You are so good to me,

and I'm so disappointing to you.

I'm sorry, Henri, it's
just that sometimes

you seem to care more
for the dog than for me.

I must go.

Napoleon! ( speaks French )

Come, bring it to me.

Are you playing a game with me?

It is not very funny.

- Slow!
- ( glass shatters )

( Henri screaming )

( tires squealing )


Happy Valentine's day.

( yawns ) Have I been in a coma?

Get back, Freeway.

Isn't Valentine's Day next week?

Well, I may be
a little premature,

but we can do it
again next week.


Now, let's see...
Cinnamon coffee,

- whole wheat toast
well done...
- Uh-huh.

A 3-minute boiled
egg, two kinds of juices,

tomato juice and orange juice,

in case you can't
make up your mind.

That's lovely.

And a Jennifer Hart
rose right from the garden.

Now, let's see.

Did I miss anything?

- What about this one?
- Oh, don't know what that is.

I was so busy doing
everything else I forgot.

I don't know what that is.

I guess I'm just gonna
have to open it to find out.


Where did you find this?

I didn't find it. I had
it commissioned.

- Perfume?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, not just any perfume.

Oh, darling, it's absolutely...

- It is, isn't it.
- Yes, it is.

It doesn't have a scent.

Well, that's because
it's colored water.

Colored water?

You think there's gonna
be much of a market for this?

Maybe you ought to lie down.

It will have a scent

when the chemists
put their noses to it.

Oh, wait a minute, I've got it.

This is something to
do with your purchase

of Beaumont Perfume.

I have the lawyers
drawing up the papers,

and that is going
to be the scent.

- Well, I'm touched.
- How touched are you?

Very touched.

Maybe I better lie down.

( knocks on door )

Max: Mr. and Mrs. H.?

Max... this better be good.

It's not so good.

I hate to be the
bearer of bad news,

but I thought you
might want to see this.

Jonathan: Henri Beaumont dead.

Can't understand it.

His butler told me
the dog adored him.

I'm grateful you called.

Claire, I can't tell you
how shocked we were.

I know.

If it had been a heart attack,
it would have been tragic,

but Napoleon?

Try to get some rest,
and we'll be by tomorrow.

Thank you, Jonathan.

And about the sale.

We can hold off on that.
I'll cancel the reception.

No, no, Henri would
not have liked that.

He was just saying...
on the day he died

how pleased he was
you were taking over.

Well, whatever you want.

And if you need anything,
don't hesitate to call us.

- We'll be here.
- Thank you.

Mr. Fordham is here to see you.

Show him in.

Mrs. Beaumont.

What are you doing here?

Mrs. Beaumont, am I not an old

and trusted employee?

Well, certainly a condolence
call seemed in order.

Of course.

- Any problems?
- No.

Hart just called.

Ah, yes, the check
is still in the mail.

I must say I was a bit concerned

when you moved up the event.

Well, he was going to back out.

It would have
delayed everything.

You took care of the dog?

Yes. I never really
liked the animal,

but I felt badly
having him destroyed.

Worse than destroying Henri?

Don't be cruel.

I don't like you
when you're like that.

Hey, this wasn't my idea.

You could have
simply divorced him.

For what?

Half a perfume company?

I prefer 10 million
dollars cash...

all mine.

All ours.

Now I can afford to
keep you in the style

to which Monsieur
Beaumont accustomed you.

You disgust me sometimes.

I think that's the first loving
thing you've ever said to me.

If it wouldn't be too
much of a problem,

I'd like to speak
with Charlie Ornstein

as soon as possible.

Well, he's in Paris, right now,

but he will be back for the
Valentine's Day reception.

He's the perfect choice to
take over the presidency.

Is that the cafeteria, I smell?

That's the aroma of fresh bread.

We sell it to the bakeries
to wrap their breads in.

- Oh.
- It's called sweetening
the package.

About 20% of our
production is industrial scents.

Here we are.

It's now time for you
to meet "the nose."

The backbone of the company.

Maybe 20 great
noses in the world,

and Beaumont has one.

You've done your research.

This is the key to the kingdom.

It's an electronic
key that we issue

to just a very few
special employees.

Perfume formulas are top-secret.

I believe this is yours.

Thank you.

( sighs ) I haven't
been in a chemistry lab

since I left school.

I started out in a laboratory.

Oh, well, I almost
finished in one.

I blew it up, very short career.

Claire: ( laughs )

Alex... Mrs. Beaumont.

Alex, I would like you
to meet Jonathan Hart,

his wife, Jennifer.

How do you do?

Our nose, Alex Fordham,

I suppose we should
call him your nose, now.

You must be the
Jennifer of our new scent.

- Yes.
- The inspiration.

Oh, forgive my familiarity,
but I feel genuinely inspired.

Well, thank you very much.

It's amazing how in this room

with all these different
scents you can tell them apart.

You learn to focus in on
what's really significant

and you ignore the rest.


May I?

Your perfume
contains patchouli...

( sniffs )

and a touch of civet...

very expensive, one
of our biggest sellers.


Jennifer: That's great.

Right on the nose.

Alex, I'd like a word with you.

Please, excuse us.

I think he's got your scent.


Uh, darling, I think you're
onto something yourself.

Uh... terrific.

Smells like mint.

It could be worse.

Oh, I always liked
to have an elbow

that smells like mouthwash.

Did you really blow up the lab?

Yes, I did.

What do you think you are doing?

Mrs. Beaumont, it's a
bit early to be giving up

the grieving widow
for the jealous lover.

I am not amused.

Well, I thought I
was just making time

with the boss's wife.

You approved when
I did it for Henri.

Did you get rid of that scent?

Yes, I was just putting it
away when you came in.

You mean to say it's
sitting out there in the lab?

Relax, this isn't a kennel.

Just why are you keeping it?

Why don't you just
pour it down the drain?

What, and have every rat in
the sewer killing each other?

You know, somewhere
in these test tubes

lies the future
fragrance of Jennifer.

Mm... I just thought
of something awful.

What's that?

What if I'm
allergic to Jennifer?

Or worse, what if you're
allergic to Jennifer?

Think how much fun
we'll have finding out.


Shall we go have some lunch?

We can try out the
executive dining room.

You know, I
think I'll just settle

for that freshly baked
bread fragrance.

Very nice to have met you, Alex.

Mr. Hart, Mrs. Hart.

Jennifer, I hope you'll be
pleased with your new scent.

Thank you, I'm sure I will.



I think the nose
has an eye for you.

There's something uncomfortable
about him, don't you think?

Well, he's probably devoted
his whole life to his nose

and hasn't had time to
develop his personality.

Maybe so.

( Freeway barking )

Ha ha, the
patter of little feet.

He probably wants his bone.

It's over there under the bed.

Enter, Freeway.

( growls )


What's the matter with him?

You're missing a good movie.

I'm missing Freeway even more.

Oh... I know, but...

you know that Dr. Barrett's
taking good care of him,

and she already said
that he doesn't have rabies.

I just don't understand.

It was like Jekyll and Hyde.

Well, maybe he was
allergic or ate something...


To you?

He didn't even snap at
Dr. Barrett or Max or me.

But what scares
me even more is that

it's almost exactly
what happened

to Henri Beaumont's dog.

Well, we're lucky
we have Freeway

and not a great big
German Shepherd.

Maybe... let's do
something, tomorrow, darling.

Let's call Claire and find out
what happened to her dog?

I already have done that.


And they had to
put him to sleep.

Oh, no.

But that won't
happen to Freeway.

- Oh...
- He's probably got
a nervous disorder,

and they have ways of
finding those things out today.

Hey... come on.

You know, there's
a lot of fight left

in that little guy.


Oh, Frank.

Could you open the door for me?

- I don't have my card.
- Sure thing, Mrs. Beaumont.

I'm really sorry
about Mr. Beaumont.

It was a great
loss for all of us.

Thank you, Frank.

John, have you seen Alex?

No, he hasn't been in today.

Can I help you, Mrs. Beaumont?

No, thank you, John.

The tests are back
and I'm happy to say

they're all negative.

- ( sighs )
- Well, that's good.

Do you have any idea why
Freeway behaved that way?

Well, like people sometimes,
they can have a bad day.

Well, he certainly had the
worst day he's ever had.

( growls )

It's okay, his kiss is
worse than his bark.

He's a new addition,
just give him a pet.

He'll stop.

He wants your attention.

He's got it. Pet him
will you, darling?

Something went
afoul in his training,

He's really harmless,
just a reversed personality.

Um, nice, Huey.

Go on... go on.

Uh, can we take
Freeway home now?

I think so,

just watch how he
reacts to other people.

Would you send Freeway
Hart up here, please?

Now if had a dog like Huey,
I'd be a bit more concerned.

Jennifer: I wouldn't want to be
around when he had a bad day.

Well, Freeway's manageable.

What do we do if this
happens to Freeway again?

Do you have any...

Well, we'll look
into other things...

His diet, allergic reactions.

Why put the little fellow
through unnecessary tests?

Okay, Huey, you've
had your quota.

Freeway, here are your parents.

Oh... hi, baby!

Thanks very much, Steve.

Hey, he's looking
good, isn't he?

Give me a kiss.

He's still got the
wettest kisser in town.

Well, whatever it was he
certainly has recovered.

( growls )

You know, I think he likes you.

See the way he's smiling?

There you are, Freeway,

aw, certainly is
happy to be home.

Hiya, pooch.

( growling )

What's with him?


It's the cleaning. I
was just taking it.

He's attacking my jacket.

- About ready, darling?
- Almost.


have you ever
considered the fact

that human beings really
don't use their sense of smell?

I know when someone smells good.

I'm serious.

I'm relieved that Freeway
hates the jacket and not me.

Frankly, I didn't like the
jacket too much myself.

Well, you see, now
that's what I mean.

Animals use their sense
of smell all the time.

They can sense when
danger's in the air.

They can identify each
other with their sense of smell.

They also know when
someone's in the neighborhood

and they want to get
to know them better.

I'm being serious
and you're making fun.

Now what are we
gonna do about all this?

We are going to
sniff out the mint.


We can't just go
walking into the lab.

Why not? I am the
owner, well, practically.

And not only that, but, uh...

I have the key to the kingdom.


Do you think that Henri
really spilled something

on himself?

Quite possible.

But he should have known
everything about chemistry

and perfume.

Well, maybe he didn't realize

how dangerous
that scent could be.

Maybe he stumbled
on it by accident.

Or maybe somebody
stumbled on it for him.

What I would like is a
nice two shot of the ladies,

featuring the perfume
model at all times, please.

Ah, Mr. Hart, please come in.

I'm Mark Braverman,
your advertising director.

Oh, yes, I read about
you in the presentation.

And this I know is Jennifer,
how nice to meet you.

Please, come in.

I must share a moment with you.

I've had a flash of brilliance.

I think it would be fabulous
to run just a little campaign

featuring your lovely lady.

Oh, well, you're very kind.

You know the Jennifer woman,

inspiration for the
scent and all that?

I like the essence of that.


- Claire, how are you?
- Marisha.

I was shocked to
hear about Henri.

I really didn't expect
to see you tonight.

It's only been a week.

Oh, Henri would
have expected it.

You know how he
hated mourning the past.

That's what poor,
dear Roger said

before he... you remember
Roger my second?

- I thought he was your third.
- No, dear, that was Basil,

but I didn't really
know what grief was

until I married Almon.

I will talk to you soon.

- ( sighs )
- How touching,

you carrying on
the family tradition.

I've been trying
to call you all day.

Where have you been?

I didn't know I was
supposed to report in.

Hello, how do you do?

Charlie, the thanks
is not all due to me.

Actually, Henri recommended
that you take the presidency

of the company.

It's ironic he had to
die for me to get the job.


Oh, the job was set once
the sale went through.

But the sale wasn't
going through.

- What do you mean?
- Well, Henri changed his mind.

He couldn't face retirement.

You didn't know?

No, I didn't know that. Cheers.

Thank you.

I think it's time that we got
a little breath of fresh air.


Enjoy yourself. Bye-bye.

Did you get rid of it?

I told you there's no problem.

It's still in the lab?

Get it now!

You know, you're beginning
to sound like a wife.

- Mrs. Beaumont, - Hi, Frank.

Sorry to crash in
on your domain,

I just had to get
away from the mob.

Sure. I understand.

You had anything to eat?

Well, I've been
busy here tonight.

Why don't you go get something?

If you don't mind.

I'll mind the store, go ahead.

Thanks, Mrs. Beaumont.
I'll be back in two minutes.

- Oh, take your time.
- Sure thing, Mrs. Beaumont.

( sighs )

( fizzing )

Don't inhale any
of these too deeply.

You never know what
they might contain.

They don't all smell
like mint, do they?

What the hell's going on?

My nose is in overwhelm.

We've sniffed so many
vials and so far no mint.

Maybe they threw it
away or hid it somewhere?

Let your sinuses do the walking.

- I think I've got it.
- You found it?

A touch of mint.

That's exactly the same
scent I had on my jacket.

What's that other smell?
It's sort of like ammonia.

Well, it must have been
something we opened.

My eyes are smarting like crazy.

I don't feel so well.

Jonathan: We're being gassed.



Come on, open up!

Anybody out there?

Open up!

This is a scent
we can't live with.

Darling, I think
I'm gonna faint.

- Oh.
- Hang on.

You know what I'm thinking?


About when you blew up the lab.

What about it?

When you blew up the lab...

I got a D in chemistry.

You think you could
get us a passing grade

through that door?

I could try.

See what's over there.

See if there's any...
dorton nitrate...

Dorton nitrate.

And some, uh...

phostic, uh, chloride.

Jonathan: Phostic chloride.


Bring it over here.


Now see what else is over there.

( coughs )

- Nitrate?
- No.

Lignose - Lignose? - Yeah.

- Is it purple?
- Purple.

Oh, bring it over.

In there?

Yeah, just put
a little in there...

not too much.

No, whoa!

( coughs )

Now what we need is
a... ( coughs ) a fuse.

What about your shoelace?


I wore loafers.

How about your tie?

Cut it with that.


Put it under the water.

Now right in here
this phosphate.

( glass shatters )

( coughs )

Where are you going?

I'm going outside. I
have a terrible headache.

Did you get rid of the vial?

No, I couldn't get in.

Security must have
locked it up for the party.

I'll do it tomorrow.
Don't worry.

If I can't get in the
lab, no one can.

I hope not.

Let's hope you're
still as bad a student

as you were then.

Let's hope.

Here goes.

I can't believe how
close you came.

Neither can I.

- How you doing, darling?
- Better, better.

I think Jennifer deserves
a Nobel Prize in chemistry

for saving our lives.

Yeah, the place seems to
be crawling with chemists.

So that's about all, Mr. Hart?

Jonathan: Like I
told you, lieutenant,

we were taking the cooks tour,

the door wouldn't open, and
somebody turned on the gas.

Man: You have no idea who
might have wanted you dead?

Not at the moment.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to scare you to death,

which is more than
I can say for you.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about that
noxious little cocktail

that you whipped up.

I remembered that
you started out in the lab

before Henri moved you up
to bigger and better things.

I was frightened.

I thought you were keeping
that scent to use against me.

You're not serious.

I have the obvious motive.

You could just deny your part.

Deny my part?

Deny my cut of $10 million?

No, my little chemistry
maven, not likely.

I am really not up to all this.

Let me put your sensitive
soul at ease just in case

you get another
urge to experiment.

Jonathan Hart knows something.

He called me this morning.
His dog attacked him.

So you added to his
suspicion by almost killing him?

Well, maybe it's
too bad it didn't work.

Alex... what should we do?

You've done more than
enough to foul things up.

Just go home and do nothing,

I'll stay here and help
the police determine

it was just an accidental leak.

What if the Harts persist?

Then we just come up with
another chemical solution.

( sighs )

Oh, no, my darling,

you're gonna be
a very rich lady,

and I know exactly what I
want for Valentine's Day.

( tires screeching )

Jonathan: Is that
who I think it is?

Jennifer: Alex and
Claire? I don't believe it.

I have a distinct feeling
that that's nothing new.


Because remember
I told you at the party

Charlie Ornstein
told me that Henri

had changed his
mind about selling?


Well... suppose that
Alex and Claire are lovers.

They have been for some time.

Go on.

And she is considering
getting a divorce.

Henri is comfortable.

I come along,

I'm gonna make him $10
million more comfortable.

That would make a
considerable divorce settlement.

And then Henri changes his mind.

- "Dial M for murder."
- Exactly.

But how we're gonna prove that?

Alex's concoction
blew up with the lab.

We could concoct our own proof.

You know what they say?

You can fool some of the
people some of the time,

but what if the nose
gets wind of this?

We just don't let
him get that close.

What do you think?

Not green enough.

What are you doing?

Making room for some ice.

Ice? What is that stuff?

Crème De Menthe, want some?

Jonathan, I prefer this.

Mint jelly with just
a dash of vanilla.

What do you think?

Well, the color's good,
but not enough smell.

Fragrance, we call it
fragrance in the trade.

Here you go.

The dry cleaner
thought I was nuts,

wanting this jacket
back before it was clean.

I'm gonna smell the original.



What do you think, Max?

It smells exactly
like my mouthwash.

Look, I'll show you.

You keep your
mouthwash in the kitchen?

Of course, ready
for any emergency.

- Good color.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, what do you think?

Not bad, darling...
( sniffs ) very nice.


Vintage year.

Definitely ready to smell.

Mmm... definitely
the scent of murder...

at $10 million an ounce.

It was monstrous.

The police came by this morning.

Evidently, there
was no explanation.


But that's not why I
was calling, Claire.

Jonathan would like to know

if maybe you could
come by this afternoon?

Why? Is there something wrong?

Well, I think we may
have uncovered something

about Henri's death.

What is it?

Oh, I think Jonathan would
like to talk to you personally.

I-I have an engagement.

There maybe some
repercussions regarding the sale.

- What time?
- Say in about an hour?

That's right, Alex,

but I'd rather not get
into it on the phone,

but I could certainly
use your expertise.

Say in about an hour?

See you then. Bye.

- He's most anxious to help.
- Mm.

I had to suggest you
were getting cold feet

about the sale.

- She'll be here
in an hour.
- Mm.

I bet their lines are
crackling by now.

Where's Max?

Oh, Alex. Please, come in.

Mrs. Hart.

We're all... just in here.


- Jonathan: Hello, Alex.
- How are you?

- Glad you could make it.
- No problem.

- Mrs. Beaumont.
- Alex, how are you?

Oh, please, sit down, Alex.

Would anybody like anything?

- Maybe some coffee.
- Coffee, Alex?

- No, no, thanks.
- Darling?

Oh, I'd love a coffee, thanks.

Oh, good, I'll just put some on.

It's a nice place you
have here, Mr. Hart.


We enjoy it.

What have you
discovered, Jonathan?

Well, I'd rather really wait
until Jennifer comes back,

so that she can hear.

As a matter of fact, I
think I'll give her a hand.

Excuse me.

Did you check out the
decoration on the mantel?

Is that it? I told
you to get rid of it.

Just shut up.

- I came here to deal
with this.
- Are you crazy?

Do you think you
can kill them all?

You almost did.

Where is Max?

Maybe you ought to
ring the vet's office?

Maybe something went wrong.

Oh, boy, that's all we
need. What's that number?

5, 5, 5, 7, 3, 8, 2.

Hello, Jane, it's
Jonathan, has Max left yet?

Oh, great, okay.
Thanks very much.

Everything all right?

Fine, good-bye.

He left 15 minutes ago.

- With Hughie?
- Yeah, with Hughie.

Well, he should
be here any minute.

- We still got to stall.
- What are we gonna do?

Drop back and punt.

( sighs ) Okay.

Well, here we are.

- Thank you.
- Ah.

What is it, Jonathan?

Have you decided not
to purchase Beaumont?

No, it's just that something
has come to my attention.

Oh, that must be Max.

There you are, Max.

Oh, and look at Huey.
Oh, come here, sweetheart.

Oh, thank you, Max.

Now just come on
over here, Huey.

- There's Jonathan.
- Good dog.

I-I've never seen that dog.

I thought you
had a little thing.

Oh, yes, that's Freeway.

No, Jonathan thought
it'd be a good idea

if we got a bigger
dog, you know,

protection when he's away.

You want me to
take him, Mrs. H.?

No, no, I can
manage. Thanks, Max.

You were about to say?

Do you think that a scent
could agitate an animal,

a dog. Excite him to attack?

Anything is possible.

What about you, Claire?

You studied
chemistry, didn't you?

I'm just an assistant.

I've, uh, I've never run
across anything like that.

Well, the circumstances
in which Henri died

are certainly unusual,
wouldn't you say?

I suppose so.

And consider what happened
with our own dog, Freeway.

Freeway was a pussy cat.

But when he was
attacking Jonathan,

he was more like a tiger.

Jonathan: Last night
before the accident.

You see, we were
really in the lab

to see if we could
if find that scent.

Because it was my feeling

that I could have leaned
into something by accident

and that's what
caused the problem.

Jonathan's jacket
did smell sort of,

uh, minty.

And the scent in this bottle...

we wanted to see
if perhaps you could

tell us what you thought?

It's a little snug.

- ( gasps ) My God!
- Oh, sorry.

( Huey growling and snarling )

Oh, get the dog away!

Get back, he'll attack!

It's the orterran
mint. He'll go crazy.

Shut up, Claire.
This is a trick.

Don't let that dog near me!

Feeling left out of it, Alex?

Call off your dog,
Hart, or it's dead.

Here, Huey.

He seems to like it
more than you do.

How many people are
you planning on killing?

Ask her. It was her idea.

Then you did kill Henri.

( barks )

My nose!

It's destroyed.

That's all right, Alex.

Where you're going,
you'll be better off without it.

I guess that's
the essence of it.

( barks )

Now... that is terrific.

You like it?

Oh, it's great, very tasty.

A lot of class.

Well, I figured you
lost the other one

in the service of science,

so I figured you
needed a new one.

I have a little Valentine's
present for you.

- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

It's a prototype.

I had it made
especially for you,

one of my good ideas
which you always inspire.


There you are.

My very own chemistry set, aw...

- Do you like it?
- I love it.

- Happy Valentine's Day.
- Thank you.

- Will you play some more?
- Sure.

- You really
are my Valentine...
- Oh...

- and I'm not being funny.
- Really?


I mean, you make me
everything that I am.

- I do?
- Mm-hmm.

What are you?

I'm yours.