Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 3, Episode 6 - Harts Under Glass - full transcript

Millionaire Dodsworth Nash has become infatuated with Mrs Hart. The only problem is Mr Hart stands in the way of Nash's plans to woo Mrs Hart. And Nash has made plans to remove the problem.

my boss, Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of
them, which ain't easy,

'cause when they
met, it was murder.





We're ready, sir.

Of the 10 women you selected...

the computer has
chosen this one.


Mm. The computer has good taste.

Who is she?

MAN 1: Jennifer Hart.

MAN 2: Hmm. Beautiful.

Tell me about her.

She was born on
a small horse farm

in Maryland in 1949 to
Suzanne and Steven...

Please, Mr. Caine. Spare me
the gruesome childhood details.

Sorry, sir.

Her undergraduate education
was at Vassar and Smith.


Majored in languages.

Just get on with the
woman, would you please?

She's an expert skier,

sailor and... [PROJECTOR CLICKS]

Oh, yes. She has
taken several cracks

at some of the major peaks
in Europe and the Himalayas.

It's extraordinary.

Yes. She should be perfect.

CAINE: There is
one minor problem.

What's that?

A husband.


Jonathan Hart.

Jonathan Hart. Hart.

Why do I know that name?

Hart Industries.

His company has
had occasion to handle

various projects for us.

Yes, I recall.

It won't be difficult

to arrange for the
woman's widowhood.

Not for you, I'm sure.

Then I should... arrange it?


But one thing.



I want to be there...

to be the first to comfort
the grieving widow.


The perfect ending
to a perfect dinner.


a wonderful couple
on their anniversary.


You know, you guys have
been together five years...

but me and Mr. H, well,

I got so many candles
on my birthday cake,

I want to forget about it.


Here's to the next
50 years, darling.

I'll drink to that.


I love you both.



you've been wanting to
tell me something all night.

It's about that, uh...

long weekend in New York.

I shouldn't pack?

Well, you know about
the Lawson deal?


Well, um... that's
gonna have to be

resolved this weekend.

Oh, darling. On our anniversary?

But there is, uh,
one compensation.


Yes. A select group of people

have been invited to the
museum this Saturday.

You see, uh, Dodsworth
Nash is going to donate

part of his private
art collection.

You're joking.

No. And the word is

that the man himself
is going to be there.

I can't believe it.

Dodsworth Nash is gonna
expose himself to the public

over a mere museum donation?

he gonna arrive?

In an airtight bag?

I knew you'd understand.

And, uh... for that...

I got you a little, uh...

token from New York.


A token from New
York, huh? Yeah.


A token from New York.





A token from New York. Ha!

Uh, there is a, uh,
small string attached.

Ah, yes. I can see that.

See, I thought, uh, that

and the token from New York
could, uh, buy me some time.


It will buy you a
lot more than time.



I love you.


Do you like it?


Look at the size of that stone.

I wanted to get the 5 carat...

You know, one for each year

but, uh, they only had
the 10 carat in stock.

Oh. Too bad.

Well, I thought you
could grow into it.




JONATHAN: Well, you really
did a wonderful job, Vera,

And in such a short time.

Mm-hm. You found
a perfect spot for it.

Well, when Mohammed called,

we got the mountain
ready in a hurry.

[CHUCKLES] Something he
probably found in his closet.

Or the garage. I'm not sure.

You think I'm gonna know
what it is when I see it?

Probably not. It's
an early Callandre.

It's going to be perched
right on that balancing girder.

Mr. Nash wanted to
be here when we set it.

You think he's gonna show?

Well, they said 2:00
sharp. They should be g...

Oh, I don't believe it.


Here he is now.

It's a pleasure to
see you, Mr. Nash.

Uh, thank you.
Thank you very much.

I'm very happy I could make it.


Jonathan Hart.

how are you, sir?

I do reasonably
well, thank you, sir.

I don't believe you've
met my wife, Jennifer.

Mrs. Hart. How do you do?

How do you do?

I think it's about time we met.

I know that you have
executed a number of projects

for my company.

Yes, sir. I have.

Only you seem to have
been away most of the time.

The unfortunate
burden of industry.

But obviously, you're
no stranger to that, um...


Well, I try never
to let business...

interfere with
our pursuit for life.


I'd like to introduce Mr. Nash
to some of our patrons.

Unfortunately, Mr. Nash
is on a very tight schedule,

so could we please get
on with the ceremony?

Mr. Nash would like
it as brief as possible,

and he will not be
available for any remarks.

Of course. I'll... get
started immediately.




I must say that it is wonderful

what you're doing
for the museum.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, no, no.

To be perfectly frank with you,

that piece has just been
sitting in storage, corroding.


Mm. Would you mind
moving over there

to get out of the sun?

No. Not at all.


You must come to
my home sometime

if you really like to
see exceptional beauty.

At the risk of
sounding, uh, boastful,

I do have the world's
foremost collection.

Do you?

And what do you specialize in?




Isn't this an exciting
day? Oh, boy.

Thank you for coming.

I'm so happy.

Ladies and gentlemen...
Mr. Dodsworth Nash,

our honored guest and donor,

has honored us not only
with his wonderful gift,

but also with his presence.


Without further ado,

we now unveil
one of the earliest

and most-prized Callandres.



Thank you.

Thank you on
behalf of the artist

and our generous donor,
Mr. Dodsworth Nash.


We will now place this
magnificent sculpture.


The, uh, roses are...

exquisite, don't you think?

JENNIFER: Oh, they're beautiful.

Look out!






I think I'm losing my
taste for modern art.


How is it, darling?

Nothing a couple of
aspirin couldn't cure.

Well, at least we get a
chance at those next 50 years.

Yeah. Thanks to Nash for
pushing you out of the way.

We certainly owe
him one for that.

We certainly do.

You know what I think? What?

I think we should confine
our intellectual pursuits

to, uh, poetry reading.


I'll go along with that.

Why don't you get
some sleep, and um...

I think I could use it.



The patient is
resting comfortably.

What's his condition?

He has a goose egg and
a slightly wrenched arm.

Please accept my
profound apologies

for causing you both
such terrible anguish.

Oh, that's very kind,
Mr. Nash, but it wasn't your fault.


You're most understanding.

On the contrary.

It's we who owe you
a debt of gratitude.

No, ho, ho.

It was nothing.

Well... I don't know how
we're ever gonna pay you back.

Ooh, I'm sure we'll
figure something out.




I can assure you,
sir, I won't fail again.

I can assure you
you won't either.

I still can't quite
understand what happened.

Then let me explain.

You didn't get me Jennifer Hart.

I think part of the problem
with the crane operator

was his concern
about hitting you, sir.

The crane operator
is a loose end

which I will leave to you.

Thank you, sir.

She's absolutely perfect.

I must have her.

Perhaps another unfortunate
accident for Mr. Hart?

Something more
definitive this time.

Mm. No. That's too...

That's too coincidental.

Maybe there's no
need to eliminate Hart.

After all, when we
added the snow leopard

to our collection, we
didn't kill her mate.

We didn't even ask permission.

We simply spread
the net and took her.

No, in this case, I think

we'll just light the candle...


and see if we can lure
the moth to the flame.



They're absolutely beautiful.

Well, I can't believe the
reclusive Dodsworth Nash

resorting to such overt
acts of consideration.


Maybe he's just misunderstood.

I'll get it, Max.



Dodsworth Nash.

Why, Mr. Nash.

Your flowers just arrived.

They're absolutely beautiful.

Not at all.

How is Jonathan?

Coming along nicely, thank you.

Well, that's good to hear.

Um, Jennifer,

I'm giving a small dinner
party tomorrow evening.

I'd be very happy
if you'd join me.


Well, that's very nice,

but I don't know about Jonathan.

He's not been cutting his
meat too well these days.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, I see. Well,
maybe you could cut it for him,

or you could come as
the official representative

of the Hart domain.

Well, uh... May I
call you tomorrow?

Yes, of course. But, heh,
please don't disappoint me.

I'll look forward to
seeing both of you.

Or you alone.

Seven-thirty sharp. Goodbye.




Flowers. Now dinner.

Maybe he's... just shy.

Darling, he didn't amass
a billion dollars being shy.

Would you like a second opinion?

No, but I think we're
gonna get it anyway.

I don't like the guy
in no way. He's weird.

He's eccentric, Max.

Weird. With his gloves and
that no-touching business.

Any guy who's that hung
up on germs is a wacko.

Uh, how do you
really feel about him?

Max... how about dinner?

What do you think
about the invitation?

What do I think about it?

Darling, it would be
like going to the hospital.

And I want to tell
you... I wouldn't miss it

for all the disinfectant
in the broom closet.


Um, it's a lovely dinner.

How was your bouillon?


Thank you.

It's a pity the,
uh, other guests

couldn't have joined us.

Mm. Yes, yes.


You have a beautiful
house, Mr. Nash.

Thank you. Course,
it's getting a little small

to house my... collection.

Yes, we've, um... heard
a lot about your collection.

rumors, I'm sure.

Nobody has ever seen it.


Really. It exists
only for my pleasure,

but, of course, if
you want to see it,

I'll be more than
happy to show it to you.

Well, we're very flattered.
Aren't we, darling?

Yes, very flattered.

I, uh...

Very glad that you
felt up to coming.

Oh, thank you.

I wouldn't have missed it, uh...

for all the disin... Jonathan.


Was, uh...

anxious to get
out of the sickbed.


To your very good health.

JENNIFER: Oh my, Jonathan.

Look at the size
of this diamond.

The Star of Washington.

Two hundred and 10 carats.

Two hundred and 10?

Jonathan, do you fly?

Yes, I do.

Ah. Then these sketches

will probably be very
interesting to you.

Leonardo's concepts
for a flying machine.

these are da Vinci's?

NASH: Of course.

Oh, that's amazing.

Oh, I thought anything of
his would be in a museum.

Oh. Yes, but even some
museums are willing to sell

if the price is right.

Actually, these
pieces get more care

and better care here than
in many typical museums.

You might notice that
everything is hermetically sealed

under glass.

In fact, the very
air we're breathing

has been filtered to help
keep out the impurities.

I happened to notice
that, uh, one of the cases

that is hermetically
sealed is, uh, broken.

Did you see it?

Oh. Dear, dear, dear.

You're right.

Yes, thank you
for pointing it out.


Is that what I think it is?

My most beautiful specimen.

Our snow leopard.


She gets a bit noisy
around dinnertime.

Do you also collect
animals, Mr. Nash?

Oh, yes.

Not as many as Noah...

but an adequate representation.


I don't mean to... appear rude,

but do you keep
them in cages as well?

Glass cages?

Oh, yes. Of course.

I care for them. I protect them.

You see, here they're
safe from predators.


There are all kinds
of predators, Mr. Nash.



Forgive me if I've
offended you...

uh, but I feel that all of
their needs are attended to.

I'm sure they are.

Except, of course,
their need to be free.




JENNIFER: Is that all right?

it's better, thanks.


Actually, if I keep
living like this,

I may never want
to go back to work.

[CHUCKLES] Be patient.

Just a few more days.

You'll be good as new.


What is it?

Oh, I forgot the mustard.

Oh, we can live without that.

You can, maybe, but I can't.

Look. There's a hot dog stand.

I'm gonna run over there
and see if he has any.

Go ahead, start without me.


Mrs. Hart.


Aren't you, uh...?

Mr. Caine. Mr. Nash's aide.

That's right. Is Mr. Nash here?


But he's very desirous
of having a word with you,

so I would appreciate
your coming with me.

Oh, well, that's
inconvenient right now.

We're having a picnic.
You're welcome to join us.

I'm afraid you don't understand.

Mr. Nash is waiting for you.


And you don't seem to
understand, Mr. Caine.

You are standing between
me and my mustard.

I'm afraid I must
insist, Mrs. Hart.

You see that man over there?

He's armed and
exceedingly unfriendly.

Now, if you'll be cooperative,

there will be no need to
add to your husband's injury.





Hey. Aren't you Jonathan Hart?


















I think you'll find everything
to your satisfaction.

Look in that closet, Mrs. Hart.

All your favorite
colors, I believe.

You haven't touched your salad.

That was from Le Petit Enfant,

with all that wonderful
piquant lemon dressing

that you so enjoy.

If the fare doesn't please you,

by all means, order
whatever you wish.


How, uh... How long do
you intend to keep me here?

As long as you remain
an object of perfection.

You're completely mad.

I understand your anger.

It may take a little
getting used to,

but I have created
a perfect world.

No violence. No crime. No filth.

And anything...
anything that you desire...

is yours.


I desire to leave.

And in time, I do look forward

to communicating with you.

You'll find me a very
interesting person.


You don't seriously think

I'd have anything
to do with you?

Please. I have no intention

of forcing an intimacy on you.


You are simply a beautiful...

precious object.

Like the rest of
your collection?

One of a kind.



Max. Did you speak
to Landers at the bank?

The ransom money is
all ready to go at any time.

I can't figure out why
they haven't called.

Here. Take this. What's that?

The prescriptions
from the doctor.

Oh, Max, I don't
feel like any pills

and stuff like that now.

Come on, Mr. H. Give me
a break. You're out of bed.

At least take the pills.

The doctor will take
away my nursing license.


That must be it.


WOMAN: Mr. Hart, please.

Yes, this is Mr. Hart.

I have something that, uh,

I think you'd be very
interested in hearing.

Is it about Jennifer?

Yeah, you and her.

And you know that park
that's by your house?

Yes, I do.

Well, do you think
maybe in, like, 20 minutes?

And Mr. Hart... [CAR HORN HONKS]

um, I think that you'll
like my story a lot.

So could you bring
a little appreciation?

How much?

Five thousand dollars?

Five thousand dollars.

You got it. I'll be
there in 20 minutes.

Five thousand
dollars. I don't get that.

Yeah, why so little?

Anyway, I'll be riding shotgun.

No, I'll do this one alone, Max.

You call the bank, have
'em meet me at the curb.

Tell them I'll be
there in 10 minutes.

Well, what about the pill?

You take it.



Mr. Hart?

How's my wife?

How would I know? I want to
talk to you about the accident.

What accident?

At the museum with
Dodsworth Nash.

Uh... It... It was no accident.

My boyfriend, Carl...

he was supposed to get
$50,000 to make that happen.

He was the guy that
was on the crane.

Nash's gorilla.

Caine set that whole thing up.

You were supposed
to get it, and...

And Nash was
gonna save your wife.


I-I-I don't know.

Maybe he has a thing for her.

You were supposed to get it,

and I guess that the
whole thing got backfired.

Since you didn't get
it, Carl didn't either.

The 50, I mean.

I mean, you know, we were

supposed to get married,

and we were gonna
go someplace nice.

And now Carl's disappeared,
and I don't know where he is.

I know that they've
done something to him.

You don't know
anything about my wife?

How would I know that?

You're telling me the truth?

Here. Oh, no.

I didn't want to take that.

I just wanted you to
know that I was serious,

so... So that you'd show up.

Take it.

Well, just please get that guy.

He... He ain't healthy.


JONATHAN: He's got her, Max.

He's got her in that house.

Take it easy, Mr. H.

With all due respect,
Mrs. H is sure beautiful,

but I can't imagine
him snatching her.

With all his dough, he can buy

any woman in the world.

That's it.

You just said it.

I said something?

What did I say?


has added Jennifer
to his collection.

Mr. H, I think those
pills are having an...

No, no, no. I know
that sounds crazy, Max.

But Nash said...

he's collected the
best of everything.

And he's collected Jennifer.

We've got to get in that house.

Wait a minute, Mr. H.

You can't get into that house
without a search warrant.

And the cops will
never give you one

for a guy with his connections.

Maybe the police
can't... but we can.

How we gonna get into the house?

I think I know a
crack in the armor.

Come on.

Who called you?

do I know who called me?

I'm just a glass man.

You got a piece of
busted glass, I fix it.

Come on up.





That's only my glass cutter.

Tools of the trade.

Thank you. Thank you.



I don't know which one.

The person who called
just say second floor.

Oh, Mr. Caine, did you
call about a broken box?

No. But the case with
the Bible is cracked.

That's the one all right.

I fix up this baby
shipshape. [SNAPS]

Hey. Before I work on the case,

don't you think you'd
better shut off the alarm?

I'm not supposed
to leave you alone.

Hey. Do I look
like the kind of guy

that's gonna steal a Bible?


MAID: I'll shut off the alarm.




Mr. Caine!

CAINE: Yes, sir. What is it?

Hm, don't you smell it?

Oh, yes.


Find out what it is immediately.

And you'll have to
open some windows.

But the air.

Which do you prefer?
Fresh air or this?

And don't forget the
alarm. It's already off, sir.

This case is being repaired.

The odor should
clear up soon, sir.

Will you see that all
windows are opened.

Yes, sir.



Where is my wife?

She is in the safest
possible place.

Please, Mr. Hart.

My associate has
you well covered,

so don't try anything foolish.


I loathe the sight of blood.

I want my wife...
and I want her now.

You know, Caine...

maybe we have
found the perfect mate

for the perfect woman.





Mrs. Hart... I have
a surprise for you.




You all right, darling?


And I said... Mr. Caine,

we now have the perfect couple.

I'm sure, Jonathan, that you
must be a reasonable example

of the male of the species,

although I haven't had a chance

to put you through the computer.

You're not really gonna be
able to get away with this.

Oh, yes. I shall.

Which leads me to
my second alternative.

And that is to... get
rid of you both. Heh.

Start all over.

But, of course, that would be...

That would be a shame...

particularly in Jennifer's case.

Nash... the police
know we're here.


And what do they intend to do?

Uh, r-raid the place?

That would do, for a start.

Highly unlikely.

However, if they
do... this room is...

totally hidden.

Impossible to find.

Now... doesn't that
make you feel safe?



enjoy your reunion...

while you can.

What are we gonna do?

Well, we're not gonna stay
here like pheasants under glass.

There's got to be a
way to get out of here.

No, there isn't.
I've tried everything.

Stand back.



If I may offer an opinion, sir?


This whole affair
has taken a bad turn.

Keep the woman if you wish,

but I'm for eliminating Hart.


Well, what do you
propose for his demise?



I thought they got you.

Not me.

I'm too slippery for 'em.

Hey. What's with this?

The whole room's
surrounded in glass.

There's got to be a way
to open this fishbowl.

There's got to be.

Why don't you just break it?

No, we tried that.

I'm just the man.

What's that?

My trusty glass cutter.

No glass man would be
caught dead without one.

Max... I love you. Ah.

Mr. Caine! Oh, Mr. Caine.

Excuse me, sir.
That glass man...

I went to turn the
alarm off for him,

and now I can't find him.

The glass man.

Of course.

Mr. H, I think we got a problem.

I don't know how to use it.

Max... just, uh...
score the glass.


Yeah. Score it.

Put the blade...

up against the gla... Easy.

Now, start cutting
straight across.



I'll take that.

This is beginning to
take on the appearance

of a... perfect family.

However, I must say
that I don't like the looks

of this latest specimen,

so I'll leave him
to you, Mr. Caine.

CAINE: I suggest we put
him on ice for the moment.

The snow leopard will
need something to eat later,

after she's digested the
remains of our crane operator.

Excellent idea, Mr. Caine.

CAINE: Let's go.

Don't look so pained.

I want to keep all
my animals happy.





Darling, I think we're trapped.

I'm beginning to think I'm never

gonna grow into my ring.

Let me see your ring.

Maybe you will.





[SIGHS] Diamonds are definitely

a girl's best friend.


Max. Mr. H.

How did you get away?

They put me in a glass
box with some penguins,

but a good glass man
always carries a spare.

They've gotten out.

Reactivate the security system,

and I'll alert the
others downstairs.



I think it's time we
start our own collection.

Come on.

CAINE: Muller.

Muller, where are you?


There's no way out...

so you may as well stop trying.





Oh, darling.


How did you get out?



You're on your own, Nash.

Stay away.

Don't touch me.

Your collecting days are over.

As a matter off fact,
you'll probably be put

on permanent display
in the state prison.

Oh, no.

I could never go
to a place like that.

It's filthy.

It's cont... Contaminated.

Oh. You will adjust, Mr. Nash.

I'll give you...
anything you want.

Anything you want!




I'm bleeding.

The perfect specimen.
Wouldn't you say?

I'm dying.



Here we go, darling.

As promised, breakfast in bed.


Uh, happy
anniversary. Thank you.

Happy anniversary to you.


This is really great. Oh.

I think we'll get to
New York by next week.

Oh, well. I'm sure we'll

get to New York sometime.

Uh... darling... there's
a present for you.

It's wood.

Wood? Mm-hm.

Fifth anniversary: wood.

Oh, is that right? Mm-hm.

And I got you a
diamond. I'm sorry, darling.

Oh. That's all right,
darling. I'll forgive you.

JONATHAN: Chopsticks.


Wooden chopsticks. Yeah.

That's great. Isn't it?

There's a card too. [LAUGHING]

JONATHAN: Ah, you're so cute.

I love you for
doing all this. Ah.

"This card entitles the bearer

and his most adoring wife..."

Uh-huh. "to the imperial feast

at the Royal Peking Palace."


Hey, that's wonderful.

Where is the Royal
Peking Palace?




Well... [LAUGHING]

have sticks, will travel.