Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 3, Episode 16 - Blue and Broken-Harted - full transcript
NARRATOR: This is
my boss, Jonathan Hart,
a self-made millionaire.
He's quite a guy.
This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.
She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.
By the way, my name is Max.
I take care of both of
them, which ain't easy,
'cause when they
met, it was murder.
[♪♪]
[♪♪]
You're late, Fred.
I-I promise, you'll
get the money.
You needed $100,000
with no collateral
and we lent it to you
when no one else would.
And at 10 percent interest.
Ten percent interest?
Some loan... ten percent a week.
You knew what our
interest rates were
when you signed the contract.
My, my, my.
What a tragic commentary
on the world's
money market, isn't it?
The once-respected
Wall Street financier
makes a few judgmental
errors and, uh...
Pshhh...
Mr. Flowers, you'll
get your money.
I promise. Just give me...
Give me one more month.
I swear, you'll get it.
You're swearing
on your life, Fred.
With interest, $150,000.
Thirty days.
Just 30 days. I-I-I
promise you'll get it.
Because Pat has done
some work for us in the past
and apparently likes you,
we'll bend company
policy... for her.
Mr. Nichols,
make sure Fred
keeps his word, hm?
[GRUNTS]
Pat, make sure
he pays in 30 days,
or you'll both find we employ
some unusual banking practices.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[♪♪]
[GRUNTS]
PAT: Fred, we're packing.
I am not waiting
for a return visit.
Wait, just wait.
I'll get the money.
I've worked for the syndicate.
If they're not paid,
we're both dead.
Wait. See these four men?
They're the key to the money.
I see you. Who are the others,
your fellow bank robbers?
Oh, no. No, they're
all gentlemen,
toasting Jonathan Hart
at his bachelor party.
There's Cyrus St.
Cyr, Arthur Radner,
and Jonathan Hart.
The Jonathan Hart? You know him?
Let's say I knew him.
Well, what's he going to
do, give you the money?
Yes.
Only he doesn't know it.
[♪♪]
[CHUCKLES]
[♪♪]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Hello.
Who's calling, please?
Just a minute.
It's for you. Irene Day.
Irene Day?
Irene Day.
I don't know her.
Well, neither do I.
Hello, this is Jonathan Hart.
[CLICK, DIAL TONE HUMS]
She hung up. She did?
Mm-hm. Hm.
Who's Irene Day?
I don't know.
There's Irene Bordoni.
She works on my payroll.
No. She said "Day." Hm.
Oh, wait a minute. I
knew an Irene once.
Irene Darrow.
I dated her before
you and I met.
Irene Darrow got married
and became Irene Day.
That's Irene Day.
Oh.
The people we dated.
Oof. Mm.
Irene Darrow.
As I recall, she was
gorgeous, wasn't she?
Uh-huh.
Hm.
What about Andy?
Andy?
Andy Segrin.
Do you ever hear from him?
Andy Segrin? Yeah, Andy.
[LAUGHS] Oh,
darling, don't be silly.
No.
He was gorgeous, wasn't he?
He always thought so.
[CHUCKLES]
But, darling, when
I close my eyes,
I only think of you.
And when I close my eyes,
I only think of you.
And when Andy closes his eyes,
he only thinks of...
[UNISON] Andy.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[♪♪]
Good night, Andy.
Good night, Irene.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
JONATHAN: This is really great,
Arthur. You've done a wonderful job.
Well, Jonathan, we
should be tooled up
ready to go into
production in a month.
Yeah, it looks like you'll
be on schedule as well.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] Mm-hm.
Free, darling?
Hey. Am I?
Hi. What a surprise.
Jennifer, good to see you.
Oh, we haven't seen
you and Helen for ages.
We've gotta get together
for dinner, no excuses.
I'll make the excuses.
Arthur is going to be in Milan
opening up our new
plant for the next month.
Oh. Well, as soon
as you come back,
just the four of us.
Jennifer, I-I don't think
I've told you yet, uh...
Well, actually, I
haven't told anybody,
but Helen and I have split up.
I don't believe it.
Well, uh, Arthur,
what's it been?
Uh, 10 years or so?
What happened?
Oh, it's been brewing.
She's living up in a
retreat in Wyoming.
A retreat?
Helen met this yoga instructor
at an herb tea seminar.
Before long I wasn't
spiritual enough for her.
Well, maybe you
two will work it out
and get back together
again. Mm-mm.
No, I don't think so.
Helen and her new boyfriend
get these spasms of materialism,
so they've hired this
Beverly Hills attorney
who plans to leave
me with one TV dinner
and the clock radio.
It's all right.
Arthur, you know, if, um...
If there's anything you
need at all, Jennifer and I
will be very happy to
help you in any way.
We really mean that. Thanks.
You know, I really
envy the two of you.
A marriage like yours,
it's one in a million.
We're not that
unique. [CHUCKLES]
Well, with the
exception of you two,
who do we know from the
old days that are still together?
Well...
Well, there's, uh,
Phyllis and Eddie.
Yes. Uh-uh.
They're broken up.
JENNIFER: They did?
Mm-hm. Harry and Rachel.
Oh, no. They got separated.
They did? Yes.
The Carringtons.
They filed for divorced.
JENNIFER: You're kidding.
Mm-mm.
Well, I guess the odds
of a lasting marriage
aren't really very
good, are they?
Well, we're just a
couple of long shots, hm?
Yeah. [BOTH CHUCKLE]
Arthur, thanks very much.
You did a wonderful
job, and have a great trip.
Good, Jon. I'll
see you in a month.
Jennifer, nice seeing you.
Bye-bye. Bye.
Oof. Yeah.
Um, darling, there's something
I wanna talk to you about.
You do? [KNOCK ON DOOR]
Come in.
Excuse me, uh, these
were just delivered.
Oh, darling, you shouldn't have.
Darling, um, I didn't.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Hart.
The card is for Mr. Hart.
Thanks.
I wonder who sent those.
What does the card say?
"To Jonathan. Love, Irene Day
or Irene Darrow,
take your pick."
I would've picked
carnations for a man.
Well, this is
really interesting.
First she calls
and then hangs up.
And now these.
I think you ought to have
a word with her, darling.
Well, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
What?
This came in my
morning mail from her.
JENNIFER: Cashmere. Your size.
I tried to return it,
but, uh, there was no answer
at the number I
last had for her.
Well, I have a feeling
she'll be calling
you again soon.
But what I can't figure,
is what she wants
after all of these years.
[♪♪]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello, Claude. Hello, Mrs. Hart.
What a pleasure to see you.
Mr. Hart is waiting. Ah.
Right this way.
WOMAN: Jennifer, sweetheart.
Claire.
How are you?
Good. Oh, say hello
to George Christy.
I'm sure you've read his column.
Of course. CHRISTY:
What a pleasure.
CLAIRE: Who are
you meeting? Jonathan.
Mr. Hart? That's hardly
hot gossip I can use.
Well, I'm sorry about that.
It's nice to have met you.
Bye-bye.
I've seen them at so
many affairs together.
The inseparable Harts.
Hello, darling,
I'm sorry I'm late.
Have you been waiting long?
Mm-hm. Oh.
As a matter of fact, I have.
So I, um, started without you.
I've got a 2:00 meeting.
Couldn't you call the office
and have them push it back?
Well, some of the fellows
have 4:00 connections
to make on airplanes. Oh.
You know, if you
were gonna be this late,
you could've called me.
We don't have too much time.
I'm sorry. I-I suppose I should,
but it doesn't really
happen very often.
It's happened before.
Well, not that often.
Besides, the phone kept ringing,
I couldn't get out of the house.
I'm not blaming
you, it's just been
rather a difficult day.
It hasn't been a very
good day for me, either.
How's that?
Honest?
I wasn't delayed
by the phone at all.
It was the mail.
This arrived.
It's me with Irene Darrow.
I recognize you.
You don't think
that I'm really having
an affair with
Irene Day, do you?
Hm?
Are you sure?
JONATHAN: Don't you believe me?
JENNIFER: I'm trying to,
but it's not very easy
after the phone
call, the flowers,
the gift, and this.
I can only take so much.
I went with this woman
for several years.
This could be an old photograph.
Did you ever think of that?
I thought of that.
But you're wearing
your wedding ring,
so it was after that.
Excuse me, would you care
for some wine, Mrs. Hart?
No, no, thank you.
Jonathan, I'm not a
suspicious person,
you know that.
You've never given
me any reason to be.
Until now.
Until now.
All I want is a
simple explanation
for why, all of a sudden,
there's all this attention.
Why would Irene Day
want to make me jealous?
You can't be jealous.
Why not?
You cannot be jealous.
Aren't I entitled to
have a human emotion?
CLAUDE: Uh, excuse me.
Would you care to
order now, Mrs. Hart?
Yes. I'd like my car.
[♪♪]
What happened? Did you
order lunch to be delivered?
I lost my appetite.
Max, take Mrs. Hart
wherever she wants to go.
I'll take her car.
I'm perfectly capable
of driving myself.
You take Mr. Hart.
He has a very important
appointment at 2:00.
What's up between you two?
Ask him. Perhaps
he'll explain it to you.
He wouldn't explain it to me.
[REVS ENGINE]
MAX: Mr. H...
[TIRES SCREECH]
[♪♪]
[♪♪]
JONATHAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Yeah? MAX: It's me, let me in.
"And asking for separate
checks at L'Orangerie
"were the Jonathan Harts.
"This oddsmaker gives the
once-happy couple 6-to-5
and a Vegas farewell."
If you can't believe
George Christy,
who can you believe?
I believe it.
Fred, I was jailed once
for my innovations in
stereophonic sound.
Hey.
Don't worry.
Hopefully, we won't have to
camp out here much longer.
Mr. and Mrs. H,
I gotta have a serious
talk with both of you.
I said what I had
to say at lunch.
Mrs. H, you talk to me.
I got some questions.
I have nothing more
to say, I'm exhausted.
I'm going upstairs
to take a shower.
[♪♪]
What's on your mind, Max?
What's on my mind...? BOTH: Shh.
You two in a catfight,
me coming home alone in a cab.
And now a community cleanup.
Oh, I got the shower on
to cover up any
little bugging devices.
You see, that fight at
the restaurant was staged.
Wait a minute, Mrs. H,
I hate to come in in the
middle of this picture.
A couple of days
ago, I wanted to send
that needlepoint rug
downstairs to the cleaners.
I picked it up and I
discovered the first bug.
And we looked high and low
and we found a few more bugs.
Bugs in the rug, huh? But who?
Judging from the way
they got in the house,
they're real pros. Mm.
Last week, a lady came
from the phone company
and gave me a sales pitch
about phones in designer colors.
She toured the
house, thanks to me.
Well, don't blame yourself,
Max. It's not your fault.
But who would wanna
see you two break up?
JENNIFER: That's
what we'd like to find out.
You see, there's been a very
interesting series of events.
First, there was a
phone call for Jonathan,
and she hung up.
Then there was
a gift for Jonathan,
then there were some
roses for Jonathan.
And then today there was
a photograph of Jonathan,
doctored, with one
of his old girlfriends.
Obviously money.
It's a blackmail ploy.
No, no, we thought
about that, Max.
Nobody's asked for a
dime... Not one dime.
But why'd you have that
fight at the L'Orangerie?
Because we go there all
the time with our friends.
There's a social columnist
there who's got a regular table.
If we could create some gossip,
it might get into
the newspapers.
You mean, you wanted him
to think you were breaking up.
How else can we
find out who they are
and what they want
from us? Don't you see?
I was climbing on the wall.
Why didn't you let me in on it?
Well, we wanted
to, but we figured
if we could convince you,
we could convince them.
I was convinced.
Now, remember,
we're breaking up.
I got it.
Hey, you're not gonna
throw the new china, are you?
Not at you, Max.
[♪♪]
JENNIFER [ON TAPE]: Jonathan,
I've known so many couples
whose marriages haven't lasted,
I never dreamed that our
marriage would be in jeopardy.
JONATHAN: I don't
consider it in jeopardy.
JENNIFER: I may be old-fashioned
but I never thought
either of us would stray.
All I'm saying is that
in this day and age,
no one is faithful forever.
That's all I'm saying.
Aha. So you are admitting
to having an affair.
[GASPS]
JONATHAN: Certainly, I'm
not admitting to having an affair.
All I'm saying is that you're
being terribly Victorian
about the whole situation.
Victorian? Yes.
Take this:
[TELEPHONE RINGS] I'll get it.
Hello. CLAIRE [ON
PHONE]: Jennifer?
Oh, Claire. Hi.
How are you...? What?
Well, I'm fine,
but what's with you
and Jonathan lately?
Oh, uh, frankly, I
don't really know.
[MOUTHED SPEECH]
I think maybe he's having
the, uh, seven-year itch
a little early.
Well, look, you can't
stay home and dwell on it.
Come have dinner with me.
Oh, Claire, I don't know
if I'm up to it right now.
Come on.
Just the two of us.
Some good,
old-fashioned girl talk?
I'll meet you tomorrow
night at Pod & Jerry's.
Pod & Jerry's, isn't
that a singles place?
Well, I'm single.
Besides, sweetheart,
what's good for the goose...
Is worth a gander.
I'll be there.
All right. I'll see
you tomorrow.
Bye.
Jennifer, I couldn't help
but overhearing
that conversation.
I will not have you
going to a place
like Pod & Jerry's at any time.
People go there alone,
it's a singles place.
JENNIFER: Well, I have no
intention of going there alone.
I'm going with Claire.
JONATHAN: With Claire?
Well, then I'm turning in.
Well, don't wait up for me.
I'll be in the guest room.
Max made it up for me.
Max is siding against me?
It's not a conspiracy, Jonathan.
I just asked him to
change the linens.
Freeway, you coming with
me, you staying with him?
Good boy.
And stay out!
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, let's see.
I've got the Harts in
separate bedrooms,
and a custody fight
over their pooch.
Tomorrow night, she
takes the final plunge
into the singles world.
Time for step number two.
Fred, you've kept me
in the dark about this.
What is the second step?
A reunion with Jennifer Hart.
She's a very attractive woman.
You better keep your distance.
Don't worry.
It's not a lasting relationship.
Anyway, I can't afford to
have her remember me.
Not with $150,000
waiting for us.
Please, tell me,
who's got the money,
and what do the Harts
have to do with this?
You'll learn soon enough.
[♪♪]
I've seen her before.
Isn't she somebody?
That's Mrs. Jonathan Hart.
Oh, right.
I saw her going into Chasen's
last month with her husband.
What's she doing here?
Guess she has one of
those open marriages.
[CHUCKLES]
I think you've got,
uh, three and one.
Uh, you know, sweetheart,
I might be a little
bit premature,
but, um, Leon Rapollo
handled my divorce,
and he's just terrific.
Oh, Claire, come on.
Jonathan and I are just
having a period of adjustment.
Ooh, look at that.
Well, if your adjustment
turns into a major
overhaul, you call Leon.
JENNIFER: All right.
You know, I think
I'd better go check
on our dinner reservation.
I'll be right back.
Double sixes. This
is your lucky night.
Oh, is it? It is.
I'm Clifford Leeman.
Ah, I like you.
Oh, w... Would
you like to stay up,
drink champagne and
watch the sunrise with me?
No, I don't think so.
Please, and I can
have Peter arrange
to have us a
table in the alcove.
Well, that's very nice,
but, uh, I'm, uh, just
waiting for my friend.
I'll have Peter get
her a table, too.
Oh, good, uh...
We'll all have tables.
There's tables for everyone.
Just don't leave me. Stay here.
I'm not talking to
anyone else tonight.
That's very kind of you,
but actually, I-I have
to go call someone...
No, Jennifer, please, stay here.
Let me sweep you off your feet.
Excuse me, sir.
It sounds to me as if the lady
doesn't wish your company.
Uh, I don't think
this concerns you.
I think it does because
I don't like to see
lovely ladies pushed around.
Well, that's very nice... No
one is pushing a lady around.
I think you were
pushing her around.
As you can plainly see,
the lady is not
chained to the table
and she is 21.
[LAUGHS] I'm not actually 21.
Don't do that. Don't do what?
Take your hand off my arm.
I'll take 'em off
when we get outside.
I said, take your hand...
[CROWD GASPS]
Come on, let's go.
[SIREN WAILS]
All right, folks, break it up.
Stop it. Get off of him.
Get off me. Oh, let me go.
Let me go.
OFFICER: All right,
you two. Let's go.
What do you mean? I
don't even know him.
Yeah, I've heard that...
I was only trying to help.
Miss, you can call
your lawyer from jail.
Claire, jail?
His name's Leon Rapollo.
He does criminal law, too.
[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION]
Hey, who's in there, Sinatra?
Some society dame got into a
brawl and broke up the place.
OFFICER: All right, move out.
[♪♪] Jennifer.
Hey, you're Jonathan Hart.
Hold still.
Give us one we can sell to
the morning papers, Mrs. Hart.
Pat.
It went beautifully inside.
I got it all on the outside.
[♪♪]
Oh, a night in the city jail.
Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.
Do you know they
took my mug shot?
Well, you got a beautiful mug.
They even fingerprinted me.
You've got beautiful fingertips.
[CHUCKLES]
Didn't they give you a
tissue to wipe that off with?
Yes, they did but I was so angry
I didn't use it.
Slow down a minute, darling.
Do you see that girl standing
on the corner over there?
She was in the
same tank as I was.
They let her out before
me they let me out.
I bailed you out as
fast as I could, darling.
You know, I just feel so badly
about having you be the bait.
Don't worry about it,
darling. It wasn't your fault.
I wanted to do it.
Our relationship is
just as important to me
as it is to you.
Well, at least the
car isn't bugged.
And we've got a
couple of minutes
before you have to
drop me off at the office.
Now, what exactly
happened at Pod & Jerry's?
Mm. Well, there was
a man there called,
uh, Clifford Leeman.
He tried to pick me up.
I tried to get away
from him gracefully,
but he wouldn't hear of it.
Then there was another
man who tried to help me.
Who was he? I
don't know his name.
He left before I could
get a chance to ask him.
But he did get Leeman off of me.
You know something,
he really did look familiar.
Darling,
how far are you prepared
to go with our breaking up?
I don't know.
How far are you willing to go?
Well, I don't know.
I suppose the problem is,
how far are they willing to go?
[♪♪
What is it, Max?
You got company. Ms. Day.
Call Jonathan at the office
and tell him to get over
here as quickly as possible.
Miss Day, hello.
Jennifer,
I haven't seen you
since your wedding.
I'm sorry we have to meet
under such unfortunate
circumstances.
Unfortunate?
Jonathan hasn't told you?
Told me what?
[SIGHS]
Well, we have to
be adults about this.
[SIGHS]
Jonathan and I
are having an affair.
I...
You are?
Well, I'm not surprised
he didn't tell you.
Boys will be boys.
[CHUCKLES]
From what I read in the papers,
you're not sitting around
like the rejected wife.
[SCOFFS]
Well, I... I certainly do
appreciate your candor.
Then you...? You won't
contest the divorce?
The divorce?
No. No.
[CHUCKLES]
No, as a matter of fact,
our lawyers are
talking right now.
Where is Jonathan?
Oh, Hart Industries has
an executive apartment
for visiting businessmen.
I would have thought
you would have known it.
Yes. Oh, oh.
Oh, y... it's... it's wonderful.
You have great taste.
I'm awfully glad someone has.
Well, maybe I... I
shouldn't have come.
Excuse me. [♪♪]
I tried to contact you
as fast as possible
so you could
confront her in person.
Yeah, well, darling,
it wasn't Irene.
How do you know?
Because I traced
the elusive Irene Darrow.
She is, uh, happily married
to an Australian sheep rancher.
Well, she certainly looked
like the Irene in the picture.
Maybe she was figuring
you wouldn't recognize her
not knowing her well,
but what I can't figure out
is why have they
gone to all this trouble
when they haven't even
asked us for a dime?
Look, Mrs. H,
you're on page three.
Hey. What an awful picture.
No, I think that's
cute. Oh, really.
I'm glad the phones were working
so we could get through
to you at the office.
Why, were they cut
out before? I'm not sure.
You see, there's
been a repair truck
parked down the
street off and on lately.
Yeah, I saw that
truck when I came in.
A telephone repair truck?
Didn't you say there
was someone here
from the telephone
company last week?
Professional bugging equipment.
It's time we gave the
telephone company
a ring of our own.
Let's take a look at
that truck. Here, Max.
[♪♪]
So he's moved out on her, huh?
It's almost time to collect.
[♪♪]
Hey.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[SIREN WAILS]
Did you see his license number?
Yeah, 1Z3 1966.
Funny, the weatherman
predicted only partial clouds.
[♪♪]
[CORK POPS] PAT:
Another bottle, Fred.
You can't keep that money
a secret from me
forever, you know.
No.
Just until I win my bet.
Oops.
So... it was a bet, Fred.
Well, more of a pool,
like a ship's pool.
Here, I'll show you.
Hang on, hang on,
hang... [GRUNTS]
You wait. Wait
right there. Okay.
Just... Just... Just wait.
Hey.
I've got something to show you.
Ah. Yeah.
You've shown me
this, I've seen it.
What...? What does it mean?
It was Jonathan
Hart's bachelor party.
The night before he
married Jennifer Edwards.
What is the pool?
Oh, well, see, Jonathan
went home first.
And some of us stayed around
and had a few more drinks.
And we... we started talking
about how few
marriages last these days.
And Cyrus St. Cyr...
This fellow right here.
He's a divorce
lawyer, and came up
with some pretty grim
statistics about the whole thing.
And then he jokingly said,
"I'll bet that marriage
doesn't last five years."
And Arthur Radner... This guy:
He said, "Oh, they're
so much in love.
It has to last."
Well, we had a
couple more rounds
and... and Cyrus...
He just whipped out his
checkbook and he said,
"I'll bet that marriage
doesn't last five years."
And I said, "Well, I bet
it makes it five years,
but it doesn't go 10."
And Arthur Radner said,
"I'll bet anything
it goes forever."
Well, at least 10 years.
You made a bet on how long
the Harts would stay together?
We each wrote a
check for $50,000.
Gave it to Cyrus, he cashed
them and holds them in his bank.
And winner takes all.
If you bet the right numbers.
Fred, Mr. Flowers is coming
to get the money on Friday.
By that time, I'll have
the Harts separated,
but Mr. Flowers
won't get a penny of it.
[♪♪] What?
They'll kill you.
And me.
No, we'll be packed by that time
and out of the country,
they'll never find us.
Fred, they find people.
Please, pay him.
Don't you understand?
My ship has come in.
We're sittin' pretty
with $150,000.
Wonderful.
All the money is ours.
You get some rest, okay?
Get some rest.
Get some rest.
[MOANING]
[WHISPERING] Is
Mr. Flowers there, please?
Fred?
Mr. Flowers, it's Pat.
Listen, Fred
wasn't lying to you.
He had a way of
getting the money to you.
It's the damnedest
bet you ever heard.
But he's not gonna turn
the money over to you.
I am leveling with you.
Well, I wanna stay
alive, even if he doesn't.
Thanks. Yes, I understand.
Fifty-thousand is my share,
and I'm back at work
in the home office.
Thanks.
Thanks, Mike.
DETECTIVE: Jonathan,
I'm glad you called me.
That license plate
number you gave me
is a phony all the way.
What do you mean?
The truck had no
connection with Ma Bell.
It was rented from
a legitimate firm...
Probably repainted...
By someone called Pat Yankee.
Never heard of her.
You recognize this?
JENNIFER: That's the
girl that came to the house.
DETECTIVE: She also spent
three years in the slammer.
Worked for the syndicate.
She was charged
with illegal wiretapping.
You mean, organized crime
has a stake in our marriage?
All right, that's it. Look,
I'll make the arrest.
I assume the wiretapping
had to do with blackmail?
If we were being blackmailed,
we would've called
you in weeks ago.
Well, then what
crimes were committed?
Disorderly conduct,
reckless driving.
Unfortunately, we did those.
Have you got an address
on this Pat Yankee?
Yeah, but without any
concrete evidence...
I know you can't
do anything about it,
but we could have
a little chat with her.
[♪♪]
Hm?
That beautiful smile of yours
certainly helped
to get passkeys.
Not to mention the
$50 you gave him.
Somebody was certainly
in a hurry to get out of here.
Look at all these pictures.
These are our wedding pictures.
Wedding pictures?
What are they doing here?
JONATHAN: Irene. JENNIFER: Huh.
The resemblance
is uncanny, isn't it?
She certainly is making
a hit on Cyrus St. Cyr.
[THUMP]
[♪♪]
JONATHAN: That's
right, lieutenant.
Yes, I would say it was murder.
I think you'd better get some
of your fellows down here.
It's Apartment 8A.
Thanks very much,
Herschel. Bye-bye.
Oh, darling.
Our wedding photographs.
It certainly does
bring back memories.
Look at this.
There's Arthur and Old Cyrus.
How about this for an idea?
Take Old Cyrus out
of Irene Day's embrace.
Stick a new picture of me in.
A little photographic
retouching,
and you've got
me with Irene Day.
That would be enough to
make you jealous, wouldn't it?
It certainly would.
But you already traced
Irene Day to Australia,
where she's living
happily without a motive.
And Arthur's been in
Milan for the last month.
He has no motive.
So that leaves Old Cyrus.
Mm-hm.
[♪♪]
Darling, isn't this a picture
of your bachelor party?
Yeah.
Who's that?
JONATHAN: Fred Brunis.
I forgot that he
was at the wedding.
I haven't seen him in years.
[SIGHS]
I have.
He's the man that
rescued me the other night
at Pod & Jerry's.
Are you sure? I'm positive.
I thought I recognized him.
This is getting a little too
coincidental for comfort.
You know, maybe Arthur's
kept in touch with him,
but he's on a 10-hour
flight back from Italy.
We'll have to wait till
tomorrow to talk to him.
Darling, speaking of waiting,
as long as we have
to wait for the police,
can't we wait in the lobby?
Yeah.
That's a good idea,
sweetheart. Come on.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
JONATHAN: Come in.
Jonathan.
Hello, Arthur. Welcome back.
I hope you had a
good trip. Hello, Arthur.
Uh, Jennifer, am I interrupting?
No.
Uh, thanks for the
limo at the airport.
The driver said you
wanted to see me at once.
Yes, I do. Um...
ARTHUR: Jonathan...
Um, it's no secret.
Everybody on the
floor is talking about it.
Well, it's, uh...
true.
We're just going over the
legal arrangements now.
Not you two...?
What happened?
I'll explain it to you on
Friday when we have lunch.
I see.
Uh, what did you
wanna talk to me about?
Well, what I wanna know is, um,
do you know where
Fred Brunis is?
Brunis?
Uh, wh-wh-why do you
wanna speak to him?
Are his whereabouts
some kind of secret?
No. No.
Uh,
as a matter of fact, uh,
on my way over here,
there was a message from Fred.
He said, uh,
something about
us getting together.
You know, the old crowd.
Nobody told me about that.
Well, it's probably not set yet.
I'm sure you'll be invited.
There's no reconciling
the two of you?
I'm afraid not.
I'm shocked.
I was counting on it.
Counting on what, Arthur?
[♪♪]
You two.
Counting on you two.
I'm very sorry.
Whoo.
Did you see how nervous he got
when I mentioned Fred Brunis?
I thought he was gonna
break out into a cold sweat.
I think Arthur is lying
about something.
Do you think the two of
them are in this together?
Well, I'm definitely
sure about one thing.
I was not invited.
Oh, and I know how
you hate to be left out.
Mm-hm. So wherever
Arthur goes, we go.
Mm.
[BELL TOLLS]
Ah.
Arthur, Arthur. Right on time.
Cyrus, how are you? It's
been a few years, hasn't it?
Hasn't it though, yes.
Fred Brunis phoned
me with the news.
I must say, I wasn't surprised.
The Harts' troubles
were no secret
from the press, you know.
Well, it surprised me.
I don't understand it.
I left the country
only a month ago.
They seemed so happy.
BRUNIS: ♪ Bum bum Bum bum bum ♪
♪ Bum bum Bum bum bum ♪
♪ And get me to
The church on time ♪
[CHUCKLES]
CYRUS: Okay,
okay, don't rub it in.
The only thing worse
than a sore loser
is a sore winner. Hello, Fred.
The lucky man.
Isn't it fitting that we
have this reunion here,
the church where
the Harts were wed?
It's rather tasteless of
you, Fred. Don't you think?
Oh, come now, Arthur.
Don't be a spoilsport.
Gentlemen, have you
heard that Jonathan Hart
is now living in his
company's apartment?
I don't know their exact
living arrangements,
but I have spoken to the Harts.
You've won.
A hundred and
fifty-thousand dollars.
Congratulations.
I'll throw in the case.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, we started this
whole thing over a drink.
Shall we? [♪♪]
CYRUS: Oh, Jonathan, old bean.
Jonathan, Jennifer.
What are you doing here?
I gather my bachelor party
got down to some rather
bizarre toasting after I left.
Gentlemen's wager.
[SCOFFS] I'm not so
sure you all are gentlemen.
There was only one person
who knew that I was living
in my corporate apartment.
Fred, we found the
pictures you used
to start the jealousy game.
Game?
JENNIFER: Games, Fred.
Like those hidden microphones
planted by Miss Yankee,
your partner in crime.
JONATHAN: Who we found.
She was murdered.
We found the body, Fred.
Now, that's not
very gentlemanly.
[GUN COCKS]
[♪♪]
She wanted to double-cross me,
wanted to get back
in with the mob.
They're not getting the money
and neither are you.
Now, don't move.
Don't move.
You're a loser.
[♪♪]
[WOMEN GRUNT]
[GRUNTING]
Reverend, maybe
you'd better give this man
his final blessing.
[♪♪]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello, Claude. Hello, Mrs. Hart.
What a pleasure.
Mr. Hart is waiting.
Right this way, please.
I'm sorry I'm late. Have
you been waiting long?
Yes, I have. I've
got a 2:00 meeting
and some of the fellows
have to make 4:00 connections.
Oh. So I started without you.
Did, uh...?
Did your friend Irene
ever start without you?
My friend Irene ever
start without me?
My friend Irene
never started with me.
Oh. Oh.
What about Andy?
Ah, gorgeous Andy.
Yeah, gorgeous Andy.
Andy could get
started all by himself.
Nuts? Oh, he certainly was.
Mm.
You know, I think that
there's just some things
that you and I have
to start together.
Hm, and finish.
Definitely.
And finish.
[♪♪]
[♪♪]
my boss, Jonathan Hart,
a self-made millionaire.
He's quite a guy.
This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.
She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.
By the way, my name is Max.
I take care of both of
them, which ain't easy,
'cause when they
met, it was murder.
[♪♪]
[♪♪]
You're late, Fred.
I-I promise, you'll
get the money.
You needed $100,000
with no collateral
and we lent it to you
when no one else would.
And at 10 percent interest.
Ten percent interest?
Some loan... ten percent a week.
You knew what our
interest rates were
when you signed the contract.
My, my, my.
What a tragic commentary
on the world's
money market, isn't it?
The once-respected
Wall Street financier
makes a few judgmental
errors and, uh...
Pshhh...
Mr. Flowers, you'll
get your money.
I promise. Just give me...
Give me one more month.
I swear, you'll get it.
You're swearing
on your life, Fred.
With interest, $150,000.
Thirty days.
Just 30 days. I-I-I
promise you'll get it.
Because Pat has done
some work for us in the past
and apparently likes you,
we'll bend company
policy... for her.
Mr. Nichols,
make sure Fred
keeps his word, hm?
[GRUNTS]
Pat, make sure
he pays in 30 days,
or you'll both find we employ
some unusual banking practices.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[♪♪]
[GRUNTS]
PAT: Fred, we're packing.
I am not waiting
for a return visit.
Wait, just wait.
I'll get the money.
I've worked for the syndicate.
If they're not paid,
we're both dead.
Wait. See these four men?
They're the key to the money.
I see you. Who are the others,
your fellow bank robbers?
Oh, no. No, they're
all gentlemen,
toasting Jonathan Hart
at his bachelor party.
There's Cyrus St.
Cyr, Arthur Radner,
and Jonathan Hart.
The Jonathan Hart? You know him?
Let's say I knew him.
Well, what's he going to
do, give you the money?
Yes.
Only he doesn't know it.
[♪♪]
[CHUCKLES]
[♪♪]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
Hello.
Who's calling, please?
Just a minute.
It's for you. Irene Day.
Irene Day?
Irene Day.
I don't know her.
Well, neither do I.
Hello, this is Jonathan Hart.
[CLICK, DIAL TONE HUMS]
She hung up. She did?
Mm-hm. Hm.
Who's Irene Day?
I don't know.
There's Irene Bordoni.
She works on my payroll.
No. She said "Day." Hm.
Oh, wait a minute. I
knew an Irene once.
Irene Darrow.
I dated her before
you and I met.
Irene Darrow got married
and became Irene Day.
That's Irene Day.
Oh.
The people we dated.
Oof. Mm.
Irene Darrow.
As I recall, she was
gorgeous, wasn't she?
Uh-huh.
Hm.
What about Andy?
Andy?
Andy Segrin.
Do you ever hear from him?
Andy Segrin? Yeah, Andy.
[LAUGHS] Oh,
darling, don't be silly.
No.
He was gorgeous, wasn't he?
He always thought so.
[CHUCKLES]
But, darling, when
I close my eyes,
I only think of you.
And when I close my eyes,
I only think of you.
And when Andy closes his eyes,
he only thinks of...
[UNISON] Andy.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[♪♪]
Good night, Andy.
Good night, Irene.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
JONATHAN: This is really great,
Arthur. You've done a wonderful job.
Well, Jonathan, we
should be tooled up
ready to go into
production in a month.
Yeah, it looks like you'll
be on schedule as well.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] Mm-hm.
Free, darling?
Hey. Am I?
Hi. What a surprise.
Jennifer, good to see you.
Oh, we haven't seen
you and Helen for ages.
We've gotta get together
for dinner, no excuses.
I'll make the excuses.
Arthur is going to be in Milan
opening up our new
plant for the next month.
Oh. Well, as soon
as you come back,
just the four of us.
Jennifer, I-I don't think
I've told you yet, uh...
Well, actually, I
haven't told anybody,
but Helen and I have split up.
I don't believe it.
Well, uh, Arthur,
what's it been?
Uh, 10 years or so?
What happened?
Oh, it's been brewing.
She's living up in a
retreat in Wyoming.
A retreat?
Helen met this yoga instructor
at an herb tea seminar.
Before long I wasn't
spiritual enough for her.
Well, maybe you
two will work it out
and get back together
again. Mm-mm.
No, I don't think so.
Helen and her new boyfriend
get these spasms of materialism,
so they've hired this
Beverly Hills attorney
who plans to leave
me with one TV dinner
and the clock radio.
It's all right.
Arthur, you know, if, um...
If there's anything you
need at all, Jennifer and I
will be very happy to
help you in any way.
We really mean that. Thanks.
You know, I really
envy the two of you.
A marriage like yours,
it's one in a million.
We're not that
unique. [CHUCKLES]
Well, with the
exception of you two,
who do we know from the
old days that are still together?
Well...
Well, there's, uh,
Phyllis and Eddie.
Yes. Uh-uh.
They're broken up.
JENNIFER: They did?
Mm-hm. Harry and Rachel.
Oh, no. They got separated.
They did? Yes.
The Carringtons.
They filed for divorced.
JENNIFER: You're kidding.
Mm-mm.
Well, I guess the odds
of a lasting marriage
aren't really very
good, are they?
Well, we're just a
couple of long shots, hm?
Yeah. [BOTH CHUCKLE]
Arthur, thanks very much.
You did a wonderful
job, and have a great trip.
Good, Jon. I'll
see you in a month.
Jennifer, nice seeing you.
Bye-bye. Bye.
Oof. Yeah.
Um, darling, there's something
I wanna talk to you about.
You do? [KNOCK ON DOOR]
Come in.
Excuse me, uh, these
were just delivered.
Oh, darling, you shouldn't have.
Darling, um, I didn't.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Hart.
The card is for Mr. Hart.
Thanks.
I wonder who sent those.
What does the card say?
"To Jonathan. Love, Irene Day
or Irene Darrow,
take your pick."
I would've picked
carnations for a man.
Well, this is
really interesting.
First she calls
and then hangs up.
And now these.
I think you ought to have
a word with her, darling.
Well, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
What?
This came in my
morning mail from her.
JENNIFER: Cashmere. Your size.
I tried to return it,
but, uh, there was no answer
at the number I
last had for her.
Well, I have a feeling
she'll be calling
you again soon.
But what I can't figure,
is what she wants
after all of these years.
[♪♪]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello, Claude. Hello, Mrs. Hart.
What a pleasure to see you.
Mr. Hart is waiting. Ah.
Right this way.
WOMAN: Jennifer, sweetheart.
Claire.
How are you?
Good. Oh, say hello
to George Christy.
I'm sure you've read his column.
Of course. CHRISTY:
What a pleasure.
CLAIRE: Who are
you meeting? Jonathan.
Mr. Hart? That's hardly
hot gossip I can use.
Well, I'm sorry about that.
It's nice to have met you.
Bye-bye.
I've seen them at so
many affairs together.
The inseparable Harts.
Hello, darling,
I'm sorry I'm late.
Have you been waiting long?
Mm-hm. Oh.
As a matter of fact, I have.
So I, um, started without you.
I've got a 2:00 meeting.
Couldn't you call the office
and have them push it back?
Well, some of the fellows
have 4:00 connections
to make on airplanes. Oh.
You know, if you
were gonna be this late,
you could've called me.
We don't have too much time.
I'm sorry. I-I suppose I should,
but it doesn't really
happen very often.
It's happened before.
Well, not that often.
Besides, the phone kept ringing,
I couldn't get out of the house.
I'm not blaming
you, it's just been
rather a difficult day.
It hasn't been a very
good day for me, either.
How's that?
Honest?
I wasn't delayed
by the phone at all.
It was the mail.
This arrived.
It's me with Irene Darrow.
I recognize you.
You don't think
that I'm really having
an affair with
Irene Day, do you?
Hm?
Are you sure?
JONATHAN: Don't you believe me?
JENNIFER: I'm trying to,
but it's not very easy
after the phone
call, the flowers,
the gift, and this.
I can only take so much.
I went with this woman
for several years.
This could be an old photograph.
Did you ever think of that?
I thought of that.
But you're wearing
your wedding ring,
so it was after that.
Excuse me, would you care
for some wine, Mrs. Hart?
No, no, thank you.
Jonathan, I'm not a
suspicious person,
you know that.
You've never given
me any reason to be.
Until now.
Until now.
All I want is a
simple explanation
for why, all of a sudden,
there's all this attention.
Why would Irene Day
want to make me jealous?
You can't be jealous.
Why not?
You cannot be jealous.
Aren't I entitled to
have a human emotion?
CLAUDE: Uh, excuse me.
Would you care to
order now, Mrs. Hart?
Yes. I'd like my car.
[♪♪]
What happened? Did you
order lunch to be delivered?
I lost my appetite.
Max, take Mrs. Hart
wherever she wants to go.
I'll take her car.
I'm perfectly capable
of driving myself.
You take Mr. Hart.
He has a very important
appointment at 2:00.
What's up between you two?
Ask him. Perhaps
he'll explain it to you.
He wouldn't explain it to me.
[REVS ENGINE]
MAX: Mr. H...
[TIRES SCREECH]
[♪♪]
[♪♪]
JONATHAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Yeah? MAX: It's me, let me in.
"And asking for separate
checks at L'Orangerie
"were the Jonathan Harts.
"This oddsmaker gives the
once-happy couple 6-to-5
and a Vegas farewell."
If you can't believe
George Christy,
who can you believe?
I believe it.
Fred, I was jailed once
for my innovations in
stereophonic sound.
Hey.
Don't worry.
Hopefully, we won't have to
camp out here much longer.
Mr. and Mrs. H,
I gotta have a serious
talk with both of you.
I said what I had
to say at lunch.
Mrs. H, you talk to me.
I got some questions.
I have nothing more
to say, I'm exhausted.
I'm going upstairs
to take a shower.
[♪♪]
What's on your mind, Max?
What's on my mind...? BOTH: Shh.
You two in a catfight,
me coming home alone in a cab.
And now a community cleanup.
Oh, I got the shower on
to cover up any
little bugging devices.
You see, that fight at
the restaurant was staged.
Wait a minute, Mrs. H,
I hate to come in in the
middle of this picture.
A couple of days
ago, I wanted to send
that needlepoint rug
downstairs to the cleaners.
I picked it up and I
discovered the first bug.
And we looked high and low
and we found a few more bugs.
Bugs in the rug, huh? But who?
Judging from the way
they got in the house,
they're real pros. Mm.
Last week, a lady came
from the phone company
and gave me a sales pitch
about phones in designer colors.
She toured the
house, thanks to me.
Well, don't blame yourself,
Max. It's not your fault.
But who would wanna
see you two break up?
JENNIFER: That's
what we'd like to find out.
You see, there's been a very
interesting series of events.
First, there was a
phone call for Jonathan,
and she hung up.
Then there was
a gift for Jonathan,
then there were some
roses for Jonathan.
And then today there was
a photograph of Jonathan,
doctored, with one
of his old girlfriends.
Obviously money.
It's a blackmail ploy.
No, no, we thought
about that, Max.
Nobody's asked for a
dime... Not one dime.
But why'd you have that
fight at the L'Orangerie?
Because we go there all
the time with our friends.
There's a social columnist
there who's got a regular table.
If we could create some gossip,
it might get into
the newspapers.
You mean, you wanted him
to think you were breaking up.
How else can we
find out who they are
and what they want
from us? Don't you see?
I was climbing on the wall.
Why didn't you let me in on it?
Well, we wanted
to, but we figured
if we could convince you,
we could convince them.
I was convinced.
Now, remember,
we're breaking up.
I got it.
Hey, you're not gonna
throw the new china, are you?
Not at you, Max.
[♪♪]
JENNIFER [ON TAPE]: Jonathan,
I've known so many couples
whose marriages haven't lasted,
I never dreamed that our
marriage would be in jeopardy.
JONATHAN: I don't
consider it in jeopardy.
JENNIFER: I may be old-fashioned
but I never thought
either of us would stray.
All I'm saying is that
in this day and age,
no one is faithful forever.
That's all I'm saying.
Aha. So you are admitting
to having an affair.
[GASPS]
JONATHAN: Certainly, I'm
not admitting to having an affair.
All I'm saying is that you're
being terribly Victorian
about the whole situation.
Victorian? Yes.
Take this:
[TELEPHONE RINGS] I'll get it.
Hello. CLAIRE [ON
PHONE]: Jennifer?
Oh, Claire. Hi.
How are you...? What?
Well, I'm fine,
but what's with you
and Jonathan lately?
Oh, uh, frankly, I
don't really know.
[MOUTHED SPEECH]
I think maybe he's having
the, uh, seven-year itch
a little early.
Well, look, you can't
stay home and dwell on it.
Come have dinner with me.
Oh, Claire, I don't know
if I'm up to it right now.
Come on.
Just the two of us.
Some good,
old-fashioned girl talk?
I'll meet you tomorrow
night at Pod & Jerry's.
Pod & Jerry's, isn't
that a singles place?
Well, I'm single.
Besides, sweetheart,
what's good for the goose...
Is worth a gander.
I'll be there.
All right. I'll see
you tomorrow.
Bye.
Jennifer, I couldn't help
but overhearing
that conversation.
I will not have you
going to a place
like Pod & Jerry's at any time.
People go there alone,
it's a singles place.
JENNIFER: Well, I have no
intention of going there alone.
I'm going with Claire.
JONATHAN: With Claire?
Well, then I'm turning in.
Well, don't wait up for me.
I'll be in the guest room.
Max made it up for me.
Max is siding against me?
It's not a conspiracy, Jonathan.
I just asked him to
change the linens.
Freeway, you coming with
me, you staying with him?
Good boy.
And stay out!
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, let's see.
I've got the Harts in
separate bedrooms,
and a custody fight
over their pooch.
Tomorrow night, she
takes the final plunge
into the singles world.
Time for step number two.
Fred, you've kept me
in the dark about this.
What is the second step?
A reunion with Jennifer Hart.
She's a very attractive woman.
You better keep your distance.
Don't worry.
It's not a lasting relationship.
Anyway, I can't afford to
have her remember me.
Not with $150,000
waiting for us.
Please, tell me,
who's got the money,
and what do the Harts
have to do with this?
You'll learn soon enough.
[♪♪]
I've seen her before.
Isn't she somebody?
That's Mrs. Jonathan Hart.
Oh, right.
I saw her going into Chasen's
last month with her husband.
What's she doing here?
Guess she has one of
those open marriages.
[CHUCKLES]
I think you've got,
uh, three and one.
Uh, you know, sweetheart,
I might be a little
bit premature,
but, um, Leon Rapollo
handled my divorce,
and he's just terrific.
Oh, Claire, come on.
Jonathan and I are just
having a period of adjustment.
Ooh, look at that.
Well, if your adjustment
turns into a major
overhaul, you call Leon.
JENNIFER: All right.
You know, I think
I'd better go check
on our dinner reservation.
I'll be right back.
Double sixes. This
is your lucky night.
Oh, is it? It is.
I'm Clifford Leeman.
Ah, I like you.
Oh, w... Would
you like to stay up,
drink champagne and
watch the sunrise with me?
No, I don't think so.
Please, and I can
have Peter arrange
to have us a
table in the alcove.
Well, that's very nice,
but, uh, I'm, uh, just
waiting for my friend.
I'll have Peter get
her a table, too.
Oh, good, uh...
We'll all have tables.
There's tables for everyone.
Just don't leave me. Stay here.
I'm not talking to
anyone else tonight.
That's very kind of you,
but actually, I-I have
to go call someone...
No, Jennifer, please, stay here.
Let me sweep you off your feet.
Excuse me, sir.
It sounds to me as if the lady
doesn't wish your company.
Uh, I don't think
this concerns you.
I think it does because
I don't like to see
lovely ladies pushed around.
Well, that's very nice... No
one is pushing a lady around.
I think you were
pushing her around.
As you can plainly see,
the lady is not
chained to the table
and she is 21.
[LAUGHS] I'm not actually 21.
Don't do that. Don't do what?
Take your hand off my arm.
I'll take 'em off
when we get outside.
I said, take your hand...
[CROWD GASPS]
Come on, let's go.
[SIREN WAILS]
All right, folks, break it up.
Stop it. Get off of him.
Get off me. Oh, let me go.
Let me go.
OFFICER: All right,
you two. Let's go.
What do you mean? I
don't even know him.
Yeah, I've heard that...
I was only trying to help.
Miss, you can call
your lawyer from jail.
Claire, jail?
His name's Leon Rapollo.
He does criminal law, too.
[INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION]
Hey, who's in there, Sinatra?
Some society dame got into a
brawl and broke up the place.
OFFICER: All right, move out.
[♪♪] Jennifer.
Hey, you're Jonathan Hart.
Hold still.
Give us one we can sell to
the morning papers, Mrs. Hart.
Pat.
It went beautifully inside.
I got it all on the outside.
[♪♪]
Oh, a night in the city jail.
Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.
Do you know they
took my mug shot?
Well, you got a beautiful mug.
They even fingerprinted me.
You've got beautiful fingertips.
[CHUCKLES]
Didn't they give you a
tissue to wipe that off with?
Yes, they did but I was so angry
I didn't use it.
Slow down a minute, darling.
Do you see that girl standing
on the corner over there?
She was in the
same tank as I was.
They let her out before
me they let me out.
I bailed you out as
fast as I could, darling.
You know, I just feel so badly
about having you be the bait.
Don't worry about it,
darling. It wasn't your fault.
I wanted to do it.
Our relationship is
just as important to me
as it is to you.
Well, at least the
car isn't bugged.
And we've got a
couple of minutes
before you have to
drop me off at the office.
Now, what exactly
happened at Pod & Jerry's?
Mm. Well, there was
a man there called,
uh, Clifford Leeman.
He tried to pick me up.
I tried to get away
from him gracefully,
but he wouldn't hear of it.
Then there was another
man who tried to help me.
Who was he? I
don't know his name.
He left before I could
get a chance to ask him.
But he did get Leeman off of me.
You know something,
he really did look familiar.
Darling,
how far are you prepared
to go with our breaking up?
I don't know.
How far are you willing to go?
Well, I don't know.
I suppose the problem is,
how far are they willing to go?
[♪♪
What is it, Max?
You got company. Ms. Day.
Call Jonathan at the office
and tell him to get over
here as quickly as possible.
Miss Day, hello.
Jennifer,
I haven't seen you
since your wedding.
I'm sorry we have to meet
under such unfortunate
circumstances.
Unfortunate?
Jonathan hasn't told you?
Told me what?
[SIGHS]
Well, we have to
be adults about this.
[SIGHS]
Jonathan and I
are having an affair.
I...
You are?
Well, I'm not surprised
he didn't tell you.
Boys will be boys.
[CHUCKLES]
From what I read in the papers,
you're not sitting around
like the rejected wife.
[SCOFFS]
Well, I... I certainly do
appreciate your candor.
Then you...? You won't
contest the divorce?
The divorce?
No. No.
[CHUCKLES]
No, as a matter of fact,
our lawyers are
talking right now.
Where is Jonathan?
Oh, Hart Industries has
an executive apartment
for visiting businessmen.
I would have thought
you would have known it.
Yes. Oh, oh.
Oh, y... it's... it's wonderful.
You have great taste.
I'm awfully glad someone has.
Well, maybe I... I
shouldn't have come.
Excuse me. [♪♪]
I tried to contact you
as fast as possible
so you could
confront her in person.
Yeah, well, darling,
it wasn't Irene.
How do you know?
Because I traced
the elusive Irene Darrow.
She is, uh, happily married
to an Australian sheep rancher.
Well, she certainly looked
like the Irene in the picture.
Maybe she was figuring
you wouldn't recognize her
not knowing her well,
but what I can't figure out
is why have they
gone to all this trouble
when they haven't even
asked us for a dime?
Look, Mrs. H,
you're on page three.
Hey. What an awful picture.
No, I think that's
cute. Oh, really.
I'm glad the phones were working
so we could get through
to you at the office.
Why, were they cut
out before? I'm not sure.
You see, there's
been a repair truck
parked down the
street off and on lately.
Yeah, I saw that
truck when I came in.
A telephone repair truck?
Didn't you say there
was someone here
from the telephone
company last week?
Professional bugging equipment.
It's time we gave the
telephone company
a ring of our own.
Let's take a look at
that truck. Here, Max.
[♪♪]
So he's moved out on her, huh?
It's almost time to collect.
[♪♪]
Hey.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[SIREN WAILS]
Did you see his license number?
Yeah, 1Z3 1966.
Funny, the weatherman
predicted only partial clouds.
[♪♪]
[CORK POPS] PAT:
Another bottle, Fred.
You can't keep that money
a secret from me
forever, you know.
No.
Just until I win my bet.
Oops.
So... it was a bet, Fred.
Well, more of a pool,
like a ship's pool.
Here, I'll show you.
Hang on, hang on,
hang... [GRUNTS]
You wait. Wait
right there. Okay.
Just... Just... Just wait.
Hey.
I've got something to show you.
Ah. Yeah.
You've shown me
this, I've seen it.
What...? What does it mean?
It was Jonathan
Hart's bachelor party.
The night before he
married Jennifer Edwards.
What is the pool?
Oh, well, see, Jonathan
went home first.
And some of us stayed around
and had a few more drinks.
And we... we started talking
about how few
marriages last these days.
And Cyrus St. Cyr...
This fellow right here.
He's a divorce
lawyer, and came up
with some pretty grim
statistics about the whole thing.
And then he jokingly said,
"I'll bet that marriage
doesn't last five years."
And Arthur Radner... This guy:
He said, "Oh, they're
so much in love.
It has to last."
Well, we had a
couple more rounds
and... and Cyrus...
He just whipped out his
checkbook and he said,
"I'll bet that marriage
doesn't last five years."
And I said, "Well, I bet
it makes it five years,
but it doesn't go 10."
And Arthur Radner said,
"I'll bet anything
it goes forever."
Well, at least 10 years.
You made a bet on how long
the Harts would stay together?
We each wrote a
check for $50,000.
Gave it to Cyrus, he cashed
them and holds them in his bank.
And winner takes all.
If you bet the right numbers.
Fred, Mr. Flowers is coming
to get the money on Friday.
By that time, I'll have
the Harts separated,
but Mr. Flowers
won't get a penny of it.
[♪♪] What?
They'll kill you.
And me.
No, we'll be packed by that time
and out of the country,
they'll never find us.
Fred, they find people.
Please, pay him.
Don't you understand?
My ship has come in.
We're sittin' pretty
with $150,000.
Wonderful.
All the money is ours.
You get some rest, okay?
Get some rest.
Get some rest.
[MOANING]
[WHISPERING] Is
Mr. Flowers there, please?
Fred?
Mr. Flowers, it's Pat.
Listen, Fred
wasn't lying to you.
He had a way of
getting the money to you.
It's the damnedest
bet you ever heard.
But he's not gonna turn
the money over to you.
I am leveling with you.
Well, I wanna stay
alive, even if he doesn't.
Thanks. Yes, I understand.
Fifty-thousand is my share,
and I'm back at work
in the home office.
Thanks.
Thanks, Mike.
DETECTIVE: Jonathan,
I'm glad you called me.
That license plate
number you gave me
is a phony all the way.
What do you mean?
The truck had no
connection with Ma Bell.
It was rented from
a legitimate firm...
Probably repainted...
By someone called Pat Yankee.
Never heard of her.
You recognize this?
JENNIFER: That's the
girl that came to the house.
DETECTIVE: She also spent
three years in the slammer.
Worked for the syndicate.
She was charged
with illegal wiretapping.
You mean, organized crime
has a stake in our marriage?
All right, that's it. Look,
I'll make the arrest.
I assume the wiretapping
had to do with blackmail?
If we were being blackmailed,
we would've called
you in weeks ago.
Well, then what
crimes were committed?
Disorderly conduct,
reckless driving.
Unfortunately, we did those.
Have you got an address
on this Pat Yankee?
Yeah, but without any
concrete evidence...
I know you can't
do anything about it,
but we could have
a little chat with her.
[♪♪]
Hm?
That beautiful smile of yours
certainly helped
to get passkeys.
Not to mention the
$50 you gave him.
Somebody was certainly
in a hurry to get out of here.
Look at all these pictures.
These are our wedding pictures.
Wedding pictures?
What are they doing here?
JONATHAN: Irene. JENNIFER: Huh.
The resemblance
is uncanny, isn't it?
She certainly is making
a hit on Cyrus St. Cyr.
[THUMP]
[♪♪]
JONATHAN: That's
right, lieutenant.
Yes, I would say it was murder.
I think you'd better get some
of your fellows down here.
It's Apartment 8A.
Thanks very much,
Herschel. Bye-bye.
Oh, darling.
Our wedding photographs.
It certainly does
bring back memories.
Look at this.
There's Arthur and Old Cyrus.
How about this for an idea?
Take Old Cyrus out
of Irene Day's embrace.
Stick a new picture of me in.
A little photographic
retouching,
and you've got
me with Irene Day.
That would be enough to
make you jealous, wouldn't it?
It certainly would.
But you already traced
Irene Day to Australia,
where she's living
happily without a motive.
And Arthur's been in
Milan for the last month.
He has no motive.
So that leaves Old Cyrus.
Mm-hm.
[♪♪]
Darling, isn't this a picture
of your bachelor party?
Yeah.
Who's that?
JONATHAN: Fred Brunis.
I forgot that he
was at the wedding.
I haven't seen him in years.
[SIGHS]
I have.
He's the man that
rescued me the other night
at Pod & Jerry's.
Are you sure? I'm positive.
I thought I recognized him.
This is getting a little too
coincidental for comfort.
You know, maybe Arthur's
kept in touch with him,
but he's on a 10-hour
flight back from Italy.
We'll have to wait till
tomorrow to talk to him.
Darling, speaking of waiting,
as long as we have
to wait for the police,
can't we wait in the lobby?
Yeah.
That's a good idea,
sweetheart. Come on.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
JONATHAN: Come in.
Jonathan.
Hello, Arthur. Welcome back.
I hope you had a
good trip. Hello, Arthur.
Uh, Jennifer, am I interrupting?
No.
Uh, thanks for the
limo at the airport.
The driver said you
wanted to see me at once.
Yes, I do. Um...
ARTHUR: Jonathan...
Um, it's no secret.
Everybody on the
floor is talking about it.
Well, it's, uh...
true.
We're just going over the
legal arrangements now.
Not you two...?
What happened?
I'll explain it to you on
Friday when we have lunch.
I see.
Uh, what did you
wanna talk to me about?
Well, what I wanna know is, um,
do you know where
Fred Brunis is?
Brunis?
Uh, wh-wh-why do you
wanna speak to him?
Are his whereabouts
some kind of secret?
No. No.
Uh,
as a matter of fact, uh,
on my way over here,
there was a message from Fred.
He said, uh,
something about
us getting together.
You know, the old crowd.
Nobody told me about that.
Well, it's probably not set yet.
I'm sure you'll be invited.
There's no reconciling
the two of you?
I'm afraid not.
I'm shocked.
I was counting on it.
Counting on what, Arthur?
[♪♪]
You two.
Counting on you two.
I'm very sorry.
Whoo.
Did you see how nervous he got
when I mentioned Fred Brunis?
I thought he was gonna
break out into a cold sweat.
I think Arthur is lying
about something.
Do you think the two of
them are in this together?
Well, I'm definitely
sure about one thing.
I was not invited.
Oh, and I know how
you hate to be left out.
Mm-hm. So wherever
Arthur goes, we go.
Mm.
[BELL TOLLS]
Ah.
Arthur, Arthur. Right on time.
Cyrus, how are you? It's
been a few years, hasn't it?
Hasn't it though, yes.
Fred Brunis phoned
me with the news.
I must say, I wasn't surprised.
The Harts' troubles
were no secret
from the press, you know.
Well, it surprised me.
I don't understand it.
I left the country
only a month ago.
They seemed so happy.
BRUNIS: ♪ Bum bum Bum bum bum ♪
♪ Bum bum Bum bum bum ♪
♪ And get me to
The church on time ♪
[CHUCKLES]
CYRUS: Okay,
okay, don't rub it in.
The only thing worse
than a sore loser
is a sore winner. Hello, Fred.
The lucky man.
Isn't it fitting that we
have this reunion here,
the church where
the Harts were wed?
It's rather tasteless of
you, Fred. Don't you think?
Oh, come now, Arthur.
Don't be a spoilsport.
Gentlemen, have you
heard that Jonathan Hart
is now living in his
company's apartment?
I don't know their exact
living arrangements,
but I have spoken to the Harts.
You've won.
A hundred and
fifty-thousand dollars.
Congratulations.
I'll throw in the case.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, we started this
whole thing over a drink.
Shall we? [♪♪]
CYRUS: Oh, Jonathan, old bean.
Jonathan, Jennifer.
What are you doing here?
I gather my bachelor party
got down to some rather
bizarre toasting after I left.
Gentlemen's wager.
[SCOFFS] I'm not so
sure you all are gentlemen.
There was only one person
who knew that I was living
in my corporate apartment.
Fred, we found the
pictures you used
to start the jealousy game.
Game?
JENNIFER: Games, Fred.
Like those hidden microphones
planted by Miss Yankee,
your partner in crime.
JONATHAN: Who we found.
She was murdered.
We found the body, Fred.
Now, that's not
very gentlemanly.
[GUN COCKS]
[♪♪]
She wanted to double-cross me,
wanted to get back
in with the mob.
They're not getting the money
and neither are you.
Now, don't move.
Don't move.
You're a loser.
[♪♪]
[WOMEN GRUNT]
[GRUNTING]
Reverend, maybe
you'd better give this man
his final blessing.
[♪♪]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello, Claude. Hello, Mrs. Hart.
What a pleasure.
Mr. Hart is waiting.
Right this way, please.
I'm sorry I'm late. Have
you been waiting long?
Yes, I have. I've
got a 2:00 meeting
and some of the fellows
have to make 4:00 connections.
Oh. So I started without you.
Did, uh...?
Did your friend Irene
ever start without you?
My friend Irene ever
start without me?
My friend Irene
never started with me.
Oh. Oh.
What about Andy?
Ah, gorgeous Andy.
Yeah, gorgeous Andy.
Andy could get
started all by himself.
Nuts? Oh, he certainly was.
Mm.
You know, I think that
there's just some things
that you and I have
to start together.
Hm, and finish.
Definitely.
And finish.
[♪♪]
[♪♪]