Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 3, Episode 14 - Harts and Palms - full transcript

my boss, Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they
met, it was murder.



JENNIFER: It certainly was
a good idea I had, wasn't it?

JONATHAN: Your idea?


I thought it was my idea.

Was it? I don't remember.

Well, anyway. Someone
had a good idea.

JENNIFER: Keep your
eye on the road, won't ya.

My bathing suit's in
the back of the car.



That guy must crazy.

Why don't you let him pass?

I'm trying to.


Hang on.

You all right?


It's a wonderful way
to start a vacation.

That guy's a maniac.
He could have killed us.

Watch out!

He wasn't kidding.

You're right. He
was trying to kill us.


Aloha, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

Welcome to the
Hyatt Regency Maui.

Thank you. Thank you.

I must apologize. Your
suite is not quite ready.


The, uh, previous
occupants... Yes?

Honeymooners, you know.

Well, how long do
you think they'll be?

Oh, they've left
already, Mr. Hart.

It'll take a few minutes
to tidy up the suite.

I thought possibly,
a drink in the lounge

with our compliments?

Oh, yeah. We could use a
couple of those, don't you think?

You go on ahead, darling.

I just thought of something,
I have to call Max.

Can't you send him a postcard?

Max is your little boy?

Actually, he's our oldest.


Mrs. Hart, the phones
are right over here.

Thank you. I won't be a minute.

Hello, operator. This
is Mrs. Jonathan Hart.

We're just about to check in,

but I'd like to make a
long distance call first.


Hart residence. JENNIFER
[ON PHONE]: Max?

Hi, Mrs. H. How's the trip?

It's off to a roaring start.

Listen, Max, I
forgot to tell you

that the wallpaper
hanger's coming today.


H-hold it a second, Mrs. H.
The delivery man's at the door.

WOMAN: I'll get rid of him
somehow. Then you come to the room.

I don't care how you kill him.

Put it in his tiger's milk.

That's not a bad idea.

He's always taking
those stupid vitamins.

Put it in one of them.

How long will it take to work?


I intend to leave
this hotel a widow.

MAX [ON PHONE]: Yeah, Mrs.
H. What's with the wallpaper guy?

They're going to kill him.

The wallpaper guy?

If he's that bad, I'll
get somebody else.

I can't talk to you
now, Max. I have to go.

Well, should he hang it or not?

Yes. Yes, hang him. Goodbye.

Darling, you won't
believe what I just heard.

This is a business
acquaintance of mine, Ken Blake.

This is my wife Jennifer.

How do you do? My wife Dana.



Exactly what is it you just
heard that we wouldn't believe?



Our room is ready. Ha, ha.

Is that my drink?

Are you okay?


We had kind of a close call
driving in from the airport.

Some nut tried to
run us off the road.

How awful for you.

That stretch from the
airport is treacherous.

I just drove it
with my secretary.

Which in itself
could be a fairly

dangerous experience.

BLAKE: Forgive my
wife's insecurities.

See, Dana used
to be my secretary.

I think she's concerned that
lightning might strike twice.

It's not every man that brings
his secretary along on vacation.

KEN: Listen, if I had to stay
here a week just relaxing,

I'd go right out of
my mind. Heh-heh.


Ah, yes.


I'm old enough to
be this lady's uncle.

So, I have to keep up somehow.

And I do.

Don't I?

It's a protein. It's
easier on the liver.

Excuse me. Mr. Blake?

It's time for your
conference call to Tokyo.

Right away.

KEN: Oh. Mr. and Mrs. Hart,
my secretary, Faye Roland.

How do you do?


Hey, you two. What
about dinner tonight?

Aw, gee, Ken, I...

I know a place a
few miles from here

run by an order of monks.

But the food is great.

Well, thanks a lot,
but we just got in...

We'd love to.

I adore religious food.

BLAKE: Great.

Work it out.


JONATHAN: Darling, there's really
no need to dine with the Blakes.

I don't know Ken that well,

and I'm really not anxious
to spend time with a couple

who's actually not a couple.

That's the point.

It is?

Yes. I heard her talking
on the telephone...

When I was calling Max,
she was talking on the phone.

She's planning to kill him.

Because he brought his
secretary on vacation?

No. No, she was talking to
someone else on the phone.

She may have a
secretary of her own.

MANAGER: Well, here
we are, Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

The honeymoon suite.

Thank you very much.


JONATHAN: Just where and when
did you come to all these conclusions?

When I was talking to Max.

I heard her on the other phone.

She's planning
to kill her husband.

What exactly did you hear?

They're going to poison him.

Are you sure? I'm positive.

Well, isn't this a lovely room?

They're going to
put it in his vitamins.

She said she intends to
leave this hotel a widow.

Well, that does it.

I guess we'll have
dinner with the monks.



What did I tell you?

There's Ken.

What are we going to do?

Well, we just can't stand here

or hide in the bushes.


Why, he doesn't seem
very upset, does he?

Shall we?

Hi there. I hope you don't mind,

my son Adam's on
vacation from college

and I asked him to come along.

Your son?

Their son.

Actually he's Ken's son from
one of his previous marriages,

but I adore him anyway.

Adam, these are the Harts.

Nice to meet you.

How do you do?

ADAM: Shall we be off?



I just realized we
only have a two-seater.

What are you driving?

We're driving one of those.

Isn't that's funny? We
both rented the same cars.

We can't take my car.
There isn't enough room.

Is that your car?


It's okay. I'll, uh,
squeeze in with you.

Just follow us.

Darling, that's the car.


The Italian stallion.

Now we know who's riding it.




that should do it.

And, brother, is there a nice dry
Chablis you could recommend?

ADAM: They have a vow silence.

He's suggesting you
try the house wine.

They make it themselves.
I think you'll find it pleasing.

Oh. Could we have two
bottles of your most pleasing?

Thank you.

The thing I love
about this place

is you don't get any
lip from the waiters.


Well, what they
don't say with words,

they make up for in music.

This is the best
lamb I've ever had.

Mm. Absolutely heavenly.


You all right, Dad?

It's nothing. A
little indigestion.

No wonder. Look at what you ate.

You know you're not
supposed to eat all of that.

Yes, darling. I know.

Imagine that. She wants
me to die an old man.

All my millions, and
she loves me for myself.

Now, where's my stash? Oh.

Something for everything.

KEN: There's B12

for that slight indigestion.

Jonathan and I started
on a vitamin program,

but we just couldn't keep it up.

BLAKE: I gotta tell ya,

I must take a million
of these things a day.

If I don't overdose, I
will probably drown.

What would you recommend
for an amateur, doctor?

Oh, don't get him started.

Let's see. Vitamin A,

for bouncy, active skin.

And C, well, you
can't survive without C.

Ah. What else?

KEN: Now, let's see...

Ken, you really shouldn't be

foisting this stuff on people.

Come on, Dana,
she wants to know.

KEN: Oh. Vitamin E.

Actually, it's
better for Jonathan.

Pick up your night life.

Maybe they don't need
their night life picked up.

Well. I guess I won't be needing
any of these things tonight.

I assume you'll be
having a headache.

As a matter of fact, you
are giving me one right now.

What did you say those were?

Vitamin E. My favorites.
Good for the heart.

Well, I'm a Hart.
I'll just have one.

Uh, Ken... Ken, I really am
tired of all of your games.

And I really do have
a terrific headache.

Cancel the E.

I'm not kidding, I...

DANA: I'd like to
go back to the hotel.

Adam can take me.

KEN: Don't be silly.

I-I'm sorry.

That's all right.
We can drive back.

We've got our own car.

I-I'm very sorry. It's
been a difficult day.

Can you catch the check, Jon?

I'll take care of it. I'll
settle up tomorrow.

Good night. Night.

Good night.


she certainly didn't want
me to have those vitamin E's.

Yeah, I know. She pulled
them back like they were poison.


Darling, isn't it a little
late for a social call?

Well, we can just say we were
concerned with how she felt.

I thought it was him
we were worried about.

We are, we are.

But we can't just
go barging in there

and ask him if she's
tried to kill him yet.

Jonathan, look.

Looks like the relationship is
doing better than we thought.

Oh, h-h-hi there.

Please, come in.

We're sorry to barge
in on you like this.

We were a little
concerned about Dana. Yes.

Would you like a drink?

JONATHAN: No, thanks.

We really shouldn't stay.

KEN: Anyway, Dana's fine.

A slight headache. She
sacked out an hour ago.

Oh, good. We're so relieved.

Will that be all, Mr. Blake?

Oh, Faye, you're still here.

You remember my secretary.
You met her this afternoon.

Ah... Good evening.

Hello again.

I think so. We'll
pick it up tomorrow.

Okay. Good night. Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Well, I think that
we'd better go as well.

Uh, would you mind if I
used the ladies' room?

Won't be a minute.


There. All set.

Ken has invited us to
go water-skiing tomorrow.


What about Dana?

Oh, she'll be tip top.

Eight o'clock too early for you?


See you on the beach. Ha, ha.

Thanks for coming by. Bye.

Good night, Ken.


I don't know what she
was doing, but I don't like it.

Yes. She took some of the E's.

Oh, you're up.

Uh, yes, and a pot
of very strong coffee.

Yes. Thank you.

Good night.

Feeling better?

A little.

Good enough for me
to sleep in here tonight?

I'm sorry you feel that way.


You know, in a way, I
can't really blame Dana.

Imagine him. Fooling
around with his secretary

while she's in the next room.

Murder is hardly a solution.

You know, I've been thinking.

We ought to take
those vitamin E's

and have 'em analyzed.
Find out what's in them.

Maybe a local
hospital can do it.

Hm. You know, he really
does have a heart problem.

I saw some digitalis
in his bathroom.

Then I can't figure out why
he's water-skiing tomorrow.

Darling, do you
think it's possible

that they could be
poisoning his vitamin E?

You remember that
movie with Cary Grant?

Suspicion. He kept
putting poison in the milk

and Joan Fontaine kept
getting sicker and sicker.

Cary was innocent. Don't you remember?

And Joan, Joan was paranoid.
She was charming but paranoid.

Oh, my God! Jonathan.

Come here, my darling.
It's time for your hot milk.

Don't do that.

Don't do what?

Oh. I love you.

Judy, you can't leave
the paper, my darling.

You've got printers'
ink in your blood.

Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, God.


You Water Ski Willie?

That's me.

We're with the Blakes.

I think they reserved some
water skis for us this morning.

Oh, yeah. But he
changed his mind.

Decided on power glides.

What's that?

Over there.

That's Mr. Blake.


JENNIFER: Isn't that beautiful?

Yeah, I'd like to try that
when he gets through.

He's really getting
up there now.

JONATHAN: He's going
down. The chute collapsed.


Is that's your boat?

Yeah. Come on.

Hey, hey. Hey!


Is she dead?

Oh, my God.



KEN: I-I just can't believe it.

She was so young.


Dad, it was an accident.
You can't blame yourself.

KEN: I-I wanted
to go up first, but...

But you know Dana. She insisted.

If... if we had gone

water-skiing like we
planned, she'd still be...

You all right?

Faye, you'd better
get his medication.

JENNIFER: What is it?

BLAKE: I-I don't know
why it's such a damn secret.

I have a bad pump.

But I'd appreciate it if
you didn't pass that along.

Ken, a lot of people
have heart trouble.


They cancelled my
insurance after my last attack.

I don't have to
tell you, Jonathan,

that it'd be bad for business if
people knew that any second

I could be history.

JONATHAN: I understand.

Excuse me, but I think that
Mr. Blake needs some rest.

I think you're right. Darling?

Yes. Well, if you need
anything, don't hesitate to call.

Thanks for coming.
I'll buzz you later.

Bye. Hope you feel better.

I'm going to check
out for a while, too.


You don't think I overdid it?

Not at all.

You just lost your
dearly beloved wife.

Hm. It would have
been more appropriate

if she'd died of a headache.


Well, that is one wife

who won't walk away
with half my money.

Should have thought of that
with some of the others, hm?

Well, the best part
is... [GIGGLES]

I don't get headaches.

Oddly enough, I do
have a chest ache.


Those damn digitalis
pills aren't doing a thing.

Where the hell
are my vitamin E's?

That's what I need.
I'm practically out.

Oh. I got some this
morning at the pharmacy.


I hate all this
medicine. It's unnatural.

Cave men didn't
need all this garbage.

Well, cave men... [GROWLS]

Didn't live long enough
to have heart trouble.



Do you think they got
her before she got him?

It certainly looks that way.

Could have been an accident.

It could have.

You know, it's tough
to feel sorry for Dana.


Well, she did want
to become a widow.

Sort of leaves her accomplice
out in the cold, doesn't it?

Well, one thing's for
sure. It puts us out.

It'd be tough to prove she
was trying to kill her husband

when she's dead.

Well, here's to the
next Mrs. Blake.

May she keep her
feet on the ground.

JENNIFER: Come on. That's good.

Here. Oh, good.



Ken, darling, are you asleep?

Well, dear old dad
seems peaceful enough.

Oh, Adam. He's not well. Really?

How much has he had?

A lot.

I had to make up a new batch.

The other bottle
was practically empty.

Oh. I didn't tell you?

Dana called last night. She
saw Jennifer Hart take them.

The vitamin E? Why?

Obviously she knows something.

Oh, how could she?

I don't know. We
got to get them back.

Oh, Adam. Do we have
to go through with this?

If you want out, get out.

I waited long enough.

What's the rush? You're going
to get it all anyway someday.

Someday is today.

I can't afford one
more of dad's ex-wives.

Don't worry. You're
gonna love being rich.




Oh, hi, Ken. How you feeling?

Yeah, of course. Right away.

Who was that?

That was Ken Blake. He thinks
someone is trying to kill him.


JENNIFER: Jonathan, who
did he say was trying to kill him?

I don't know, but I'm sure
it's a member of the family.

He said to meet him
across the rope bridge

by the grotto bar.

Well, there's the grotto bar.

Do you think he'd send
us on a wild goose chase?

I don't know,

but he's not here,
that's for sure.

Let's go back the way we came.


Looking for me, Father?



One thing's for sure.

This time someone
was telling the truth.



JONATHAN: Well, I just
talked to the medical examiner.

What did he say?

He said there's no doubt that
Ken died of a massive coronary.

He's going to call
back in a few minutes

with the analysis
of your vitamin E's.

Well, I guess everything's in
the hands of the police now.

We've managed to lose
both the victim and the killer.

Yeah, but not
necessarily in that order.

Which leaves one
unemployed secretary.

Faye. But what would she
gain with Ken out of the way?


Hello? Faye?

FAYE [ON PHONE]: I need to
speak to you. It's very important.

It's something I found
in Mr. Blake's things.

Could you and Mrs. Hart
please come by the suite?

Yes, we can be by
in about five minutes.

Maybe I should stay here

and wait for the
call about the pills.

That's a good
idea. I won't be long.

They're coming.


Now, there's nothing
to be nervous about.

What if you don't get
the vitamins back?

Then you can start
getting nervous.




Uh, what happened to Mrs. Hart?

Oh, she couldn't make it.

What did you find?


Oh, yes, uh...

What is this?


Well, I'm not completely sure.

I-I did some nursing before
I worked for Mr. Blake.

I handled all of his medicine
and I've never seen this before.

What do you think it is?

Well, it smells a
little like digitalis,

a very potent heart stimulant.

Well, Ken did have
a heart problem.

But I also found this syringe.

Are you suggesting
that somebody,

maybe Dana, was
injecting Ken with that stuff?


Well, I don't know who else.

Somebody could have
been juicing his vitamin E's.

Yes, I-I suppose Mrs. Blake
could have done that, but I...

Mm-hm. Mrs. Blake
could have done that.

And so could you.


It was your idea, wasn't it?

My idea? No.

Well, you are the
medical expert.

Did you offer that
suggestion before or after

you got involved with Ken Blake?

It wasn't me. Why would I...?

How did you get
Adam involved? I didn't.

It was his idea?


I told him we
didn't want to do it.

I wanted to wait.

Where is Adam?

Where is he?

He went to get
the vitamin E back.






Uh, I usually go to the pool,
but today it was so crowded.



Are you all right?

Yeah, but let's get him.







JENNIFER: Jonathan.


Hey, do you know where the
guy went who drove that car?

Uh, he went around that way.

Come on.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

The vow of silence.

ADAM: Excuse me.


It's all over, Adam.

Come on. Let's get off of here.





JENNIFER: Yes, Max, the
Carmichaels will be coming for brunch.


Well, I don't care if Freeway
likes the wallpaper or not.

It's not his bathroom.

Yes, she's lovely. She's charming.

But if she doesn't get off
that phone in two seconds,

I'm going to wring
her lovely little neck.

I have to go, Max.
See you soon. Bye-bye.

Yes, you're charming
as well. Goodbye.


If I had known you were
going to kiss me in every room,

I'd o' bought the
hotel. Let's go, Red.

The bags are
loaded. I wish I was.

Would you stop.

Stop what?

Are you going to do that
all the way to the airport?

Do what all the
way to the airport?


Push the button, will ya.


What floor did you park the car?

Press "R."






I thought you'd prefer the
open skies to the open road.


JENNIFER: There's no other
helicopter following us, is there?

JONATHAN: The only thing that's
going to follow you home is me.