Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 2, Episode 2 - What Murder? - full transcript

After witnessing a murder, Jonathan hits his head and loses his memory. As he tries to recover his memory, he starts to suspect he may have had a mistress -- and killed her.


NARRATOR: This is my boss,
Jonathan Hart, a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows
how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy,

'cause when they
met, it was murder.




JONATHAN: It's better
if I meet you at the party.

I have a few
stops to make first.

Deanne wrote down
the address for me.

Me, late?

I wouldn't miss one
of Marlene's soufflés

for all the steak in Texas.

See you later.


Hey, I'm sorry. Mr. Hart.

Don't tell me I forgot
about an appointment.

No, I was in the neighborhood.

I was gonna drop by and
talk to Drew about a few things.

I expect him back any second.
Wait for him in his office.

You're leaving
kinda early. Uh, yeah.

You going someplace? Uh, yeah.

I've got kind of
a big one tonight.

Oh, well, don't worry about me,

I'll just sit around, read
a book, talk to myself.

Good night, Mr. Hart.


Alpha Centauri. I'd
know her anywhere.



God, you came out of nowhere.

I don't believe you walked
across the street like that.

You didn't even look.

Everybody's in
such a damn hurry.


My wife bought me
this shirt for my birthday.

She's gonna kill me.

Here, uh... wipe that off.

I'll, uh, pay for whatever
damage there is.

You know, the
trouble with people is

they think money
fixes everything.


She did the whole thing
without any formal training.

Don't you think
that's just grand?

Where's Jonathan? I am starved.

I'm sure he'll be
along any minute now.

He said he had a
few stops to make.

Well, some stops
take longer than others.

You devil.



Excuse me. What day is it?

The 21st.


All day long.


Could you take
me to this address?

All right. Thank
you, Max. Goodbye.

So, what's the good news?

Well, Max hasn't
heard from him either.

I just don't understand it.

He always calls if
he's gonna be held up.

Come on, the soufflé is
up, or it's on its way up.

He'll be along in a minute.

What did I tell you?
I have it, Grace.

Jonathan, you better
have a good excuse.

Darling, where have you been?

Are you all right?

Come on.

They're holding dinner for us.


Truth is, Jonathan,

she thought you'd found
yourself some luscious blonde.

JENNIFER: Oh, Marlene.

SUSAN: Finally, Jonathan.

And I thought it
was only we doctors

who couldn't get
anywhere on time.


Ooh. Hors d'oeuvres.

No, thank you. I already ate.

Jonathan, if you stopped for a
hamburger to escape my soufflé...

Oh, Grace.

Grace, would you bring Mr. Hart

a scotch and water,
please? GRACE: Yes, ma'am.

Just water. Sparkling?

No, thanks, just water.

Well, excuse me.

Is anything wrong?

You really are very lovely.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

Were you planning
on skipping dinner

and going straight to dessert?

Hey, hi, Jennifer. Hi.

Jonathan, pal, I'm
glad you could make it.

Listen, you up for a
couple of sets tomorrow?

Sid and Don are just itching
for some good doubles.


Well, if you could
get the ladies there,

we could make it water polo.


GRACE: Your water, Mr. Hart.

Darling. Mr. Hart.


Thank you.

You're welcome.

Uh, uh...

Maybe we should
drop the watersports.

It looks like maybe you've
had a couple too many.

Jonathan, why are
you acting so strange?


Say, where were you?
Why were you so late?

Jonathan? I'm not sure.

Are you feeling all
right? Are you sick?

Well, I do have kind
of a... headache.

Well, then, let's go home.


Sorry, but, uh...

who are you?

Jonathan, I am
not enjoying this.

Neither am I.


I don't know who you are.


I don't know... who anybody is.


would you ask Dr. Kendall
to meet us in the bedroom?

Yes, ma'am.

Come on over here.

Jennifer, what is it?

Oh, Susan, it's Jonathan.

He may have been in
an accident or something.

He's acting rather peculiar.

I asked my husband to
get my bag out of my car.

How do you feel?

Sort of strange.

I don't think he
knows who you are.

Are you in any pain?

Well, I have kind of a headache.

Were you driving?


Yes, I think I was,
uh... riding a bike.


He's got a nice little
bump back here.


How are you doing, tiger?



So here we are.


Hello, little guy.

He is a little guy? Yes, he is.

His name is Freeway.

That's because we
found him on the freeway.

Look familiar?

Us. Mm-hm.

Nice-looking couple. Yes, very.

Thought I heard you
two. How was the party?

Uh, Max.

Max, there's been
a little accident.

You okay?

Oh, I'm fine. It's
not me, it's Mr. H.

We're not exactly
sure what happened.

Uh, Jonathan...


This is Max. Max
takes care of us.

He's our houseman, our chauffeur

and our friend.

How do you do,
Max? Hi. Hello, Mr. H.

JENNIFER: Mr. H. has
had a little touch of amnesia.

Dr. Kendall said
it's only temporary.

Aw, come on.

You two are putting
me on because...

You're trying to get
back at me because I...

Jeez, Mrs. H. Amnesia?

You mean he can't
remember nothing?

I'm sorry, Mr. H,

especially for all those great
things you ain't rememberin'.

I'm really tired.

Oh, well, let's go to
be... Let's go upstairs.

This way.


Good night, Max. Good night.

Good night, Max.


Nice to meet you.

I'd feel better if he
went to the hospital,

but you know Jonathan.

With or without a memory,

he's so strong-minded.


If it was me, you'd
say "pig-headed."

Please, Drew, let's
not start up here.

Why not?

You two having a good time?

We had a wonderful
time. Thank you, Marlene.

What was that
Jonathan was saying

about somebody in a window?

Strange, wasn't it? Something
about a blond woman.

A blond woman?

Mm-hm. He had some
kind of hallucination

about her dying, being killed.

Anyway, talk to you tomorrow?

We'll play tennis?
Yes, see you at the club.

How about 1:00?

Absolutely, I
gotta work on my...

No, 12:00, I gotta
work on my tan.

All right. Bye-bye.

SUSAN: Great dinner.

Thank you. I worked real hard.

Here we are.

Oh, no, the yellow...

The yellow and the green
toothbrushes are yours.

Not that it makes
any difference,

because if you forget...

Because I'm... I'm always...


Here, these are yours.

Sometimes I...

wear the tops,
but I... Tonight...

You just wear the whole thing.


I do very well.


At just about everything.

We're very happy.

You remember?

Not really.

But to tell you the
truth, looking at you,

I don't see how it
could be otherwise.


Maybe you ought to
remember to forget more often.

I've got the feeling
that I've forgotten

some pretty memorable moments.

Well... memories
aren't everything.

We can always
make some new ones.

And besides...

it isn't every day that a
man gets to go to bed...

with a total stranger who
just happens to be his wife.

You are so lovely.

Oh, Jonathan,
this is so strange.

Right. Got you. I know
exactly where you mean.

I appreciate it,
sergeant. So long.

Well, what did he say?

They found the car downtown.

There's a ticket on
it, but no damage.


You said he's hurt?

Well, he's got a little bump
on the back of his head.

Nothing serious.

The skin wasn't
broken or nothin'?

No. Why?

Oh, I don't know.

I found some bloodstains
on his handkerchief

and a couple of
spots on his suit.


Well, it looks okay,
except for the parking ticket.

Do you have any idea
what you were doing here?

I don't remember.

Isn't that Mr. Kendall's
office up there?

That's right.

Maybe you went to see him.

It's funny that he
wouldn't mention that.

Maybe we should go up there

and see if his memory
is as bad as mine.


Okay, I'll watch the cars.

Millie told me you
were here last night.

I'm sorry we missed each other.

As a matter of fact, Jonathan,

I was just getting
ready to call to tell you.

Drew, something must have
happened between the time

Jonathan visited here
and arrived at the party.

We don't have any idea
what it might have been.

We thought that you might.

Jonathan, are you all right?

I don't know. Maybe it's...

nothing, but I have...

the feeling that
something happened here.

I saw you.


unless this amnesia
thing is catching,

I certainly don't remember.

Darling, maybe we
ought to go home.

You look like you
could do with a little rest.

Yeah, I think we ought to.

The important thing is
to take care of yourself.

Thanks, Drew. Sure.

So long, Drew.
So long, Jonathan.


Very nice.

See anything
interesting? Oh, uh...

I was doing a
little bird watching.

I spotted a scarlet
tanager, believe it or not.

Sort of like being on safari.

MAX: Keeps the
species flourishing.

JENNIFER: I'll bet.

Darling, is there
something wrong?

Let me borrow those glasses.


Put another nickel in the meter.

Th-there's no meter.
It's a no-parking zone.

So stand in front of it.

What do you see?

Her apartment.

The blond?

Who is she?

Top floor, corner apartment.

Have you got a fingernail file?

Don't you think we
ought to knock first?


Well, you haven't lost
your memory altogether.




The woman's.

How do you know?


Anybody home?

If you're looking
to read the meter,

you're in the wrong place.

Okay, okay! That's enough.

If you're not the meter
reader, then who are you?

Burt Kroll. This is
my sister's place.

Just got back in town yesterday.

Been trying to reach
her on the phone.

She's never been around.

I think something
happened to her.

I knew this was no good.

She was looking for trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Fooling around
with a married guy.

You the rich dude that's
been keeping my sister?



JENNIFER: Lieutenant,

don't you think the
first question should be

whether or not my husband
was here yesterday?

Well, if he ever gets
his memory back,

he'll be able to tell us.

Right now, all I can do

is file a missing person's
report for Miss Kroll.

What about the blood
spot on the carpet?

What makes you
so sure it's blood?

Isn't it?

Everybody's a detective.

Well, aren't you gonna
test it or something?

What'll it tell us?

Whether or not it's blood.

Look, for all we know,

tomorrow your sister will
walk through that door,

back from a great
week in the mountains.

I don't think so.


Could you ever imagine...?

Would you ever imagine...

that I could be involved
with another woman?

I don't think so.

How would you know?

I'd know.

You would?

Do you think you knew that
woman? That blond woman?

You mean in the biblical sense?

In any sense.

I keep having visions of her.

There's a man. He's, uh...

He's hitting her.
He's trying to kill her.

He seems familiar to me, but...

I don't know.

You think that was the
man who's keeping her?


there was some blood
found on your handkerchief.

Do you have any
idea whose it might be?

Oh, I don't know, really.

I honestly don't know. I...

I don't know anything.


You don't have to
remember anything.

I love you.

And that's all you
ever have to remember.


I'm going to the hospital now.

Oh, really? So,
what else is new?

How long will you be?

How long do you need?

I want you to leave
the keys to your stash.

My what?

Your stash.


I have a headache.

Oh, really?

I thought you only
had those at bedtime.

Why can't you take aspirin?

Come on, you know.

Those other things
work so much faster.

Drew, you shouldn't
get into the habit

of taking those other
things for a simple headache.

I'm a big boy now, Susan.

I have big headaches.

Besides, there should
be some advantage

of living here with a doctor.

Please, Drew, let's
not get into it now.

Thank you, doctor.

Oh, by the way, uh,

how's our favorite
patient doing?

Very nicely, thank you.

I talked to Jennifer
this morning.

And she said that Jonathan is
beginning to have some recall.

Oh, really? That's...
That's wonderful.

I suppose it'll... be total?

Well, early recall
is a good sign.

I have to run.

Are you gonna be
home for dinner tonight?

Well, if that's an offer,

it's the best one
I've had today.

Well, the day is still young,

and I'm sure so is she.



you allowed up here?


You wouldn't kid me, would you?

You wouldn't take advantage
of my weakened condition.

Because when I can
remember, I'll get back at you.

I'll get back at you.

JENNIFER: Darling,

I was just about to
run some errands.

Do you want to come with me?

No, thanks. I think I'll
stay here with Freeway.

He'll watch out so I
won't roll off the couch.


Get you an OJ or
something, Mr. H?

No, thanks, Max.

Freeway, get off that couch.

He lied to me.

He always does.

Maybe I could interest you
in a couple of hands of gin.

Do we like to do that?

Certainly. All the time.

What else do we like to do, Max?

Well, the big poker
game once a month,

the nags, the fights.

Remember a couple of weeks
ago we caught Sugar Ray?

And last summer
we went to Philly

to catch the Laker game,

and Magic made magic.

Easy, Max.

You're liable to pull a tendon.

But who needs those old games?

There's a whole new
season comin' up.

What about you, Max?

Me? You and me?

Me and you go back
a long way together.

Even before Mrs. H.
Even before money.

Because when you were younger,

you weren't exactly the
most promising citizen.

I wasn't?

No, I had to box
your ears a little.

If you don't mind my saying so.

And for the rest,
well, it's history.

Well, I... I sure
owe you a lot, Max.

You don't owe me
nothin'. You or Mrs. H.

What about her?

Let me tell you. That
is one terrific lady.

You and she go together
like... Like Romeo and Juliet,

like Gable and Lombard,
like bacon and eggs.

She's the best thing
that ever happened to us.

I gave you away at
your wedding, you know.

So you don't remember
so good, all right.

I don't remember so good either.



Forty-two points.


Forty-two points.

That's what Magic scored
the night of that game,

and Jennifer got thrown
out of the audience

for making an
unsportsmanlike comment.

That's right! You remember.

Yeah, I do remember.


I'll get that.

Hello. DREW: Jonathan, Drew.

Oh, yeah.

How you doin'?

Pretty fair, thanks.

Listen, I know the
last couple of days

we've been like two strangers.

I thought maybe we could
get together, have a drink.

Oh, it sounds like a good idea.

Who knows? We might be able
to jar loose some old memories.


I gotta tell you, Jonathan.
Amnesia agrees with you.

You look terrific.


Oh, by the way,
Susan sent these along.

What are these?

Beats me.

She just said, "Make
sure he takes 'em."

Something about
relieving pressure,

cranial pressure,
something like that.

You think it's all right if I
take one while drinking?

Ah. One drink can't
hurt. Just drink slow.

By the way,

how's the missing-night
investigation coming?

Any clues?

Not a thing.

Tell me something, Drew.

How well do you know me?

Oh, pretty well, I guess.

Am I the kind of guy that
would, uh, fool around?

You mean, like having
another woman on the side?



Not you, Jonathan.

You and Jennifer
are the perfect couple.

As a matter of fact,
I can't even imagine

you having a reason to...

But, on the other hand,

one never really
knows what's going on

in other people's
lives, do they?

Anything wrong?

Hey, Jonathan... anything wrong?

I think we better
go, hon... Drew.


Hey, you all right?


Boy, are those pills strong.

Here, take off your coat.
Get some air. That'll help.

Thanks. Sure.

Here, let me get
your keys for you.

Yeah. Maybe when I get
some air, I'll feel better.

Look, Jonathan, are
you sure you're all right?

Yeah. I'll be okay.

I'd drive you, but I'm going

the other direction.
I'm already late.

Give my love to Jennifer, huh?

Yeah. Okay.

I hate to be such a

I understand.














Want some more?

Oh. No, Max. Thanks.

I don't like this. He's
been gone for hours.

You got any ideas?


Let's go find him.





Hello, Margaret.


Aren't you Margaret?

[CHUCKLES] No, I'm Elsa.

Oh, you're Elsa. I'm sorry.

Anything I can do for you?

Yes. I left my keys in the car.

I was wondering if you
could let me in the office.

Oh, well, I-I'm not
supposed to let anybody...

Oh, I understand. I understand.

But, uh, I'll only
be a few minutes,

and I'll leave the
door open. How's that?

Well, I guess I can let you in.

The car.

How'd you know he'd be here?


This is where he
lost his memory,

and this is where
he'll come to find it.

I'm gonna check the apartment.

Jonathan, are you there?



It was Drew.


What are you doing here?

I just dropped by to bring a
couple of Jonathan's things.

Then Selena was your friend.

Well, that's, uh, a
delicate way to put it,

but, yes, as you
real ladies would say,

she was my "little
something on the side."

And you killed her?
I didn't mean to.

I didn't come here to kill
her, but, well, we had a fight.

After all, I was paying
the freight on this joint.

I at least thought I should have
some exclusivity. Don't you?

And you thought
she was cheating?

Oh, I know she was.

I saw her through my
telescope. With him.

Tried to con him
off as her brother.

But it was... You wanna
know the interesting...

The real irony, Jennifer?

I think Jonathan saw me do
it through the same telescope.

Oh, Drew.


Hey, Mr. H!

Mrs. H is looking for you!

I found her. Call the police.

Drew, you can't get away

with pinning the whole
thing on Jonathan.

When he gets his memory
back, you're finished.

Obviously, Jennifer,
you haven't heard.

Jonathan had a terrible
accident this afternoon.


You killed him?


Now, come on. [GASPS]

Come on. Oh!



DREW: The grief-stricken widow

discovers her husband
has a mistress on the side.

And decides on a
20-story swan dive.

Come on.

Come on. Get up there. Come on.










Are you all
right? I'm fine. I...

"Darling?" Yeah.

You called me
"darling." Jonathan...

Yeah, I did. Does that mean...?

Yeah, I guess it does. [LAUGHS]

You're back!



JONATHAN: If you had your pick,

would you prefer the other guy?

Come to think of it,

it was sort of titillating.


Sort of.

Well... Then you did
prefer the other guy.

Honestly, I can't remember.

Really? Mm.

You can't remember? Not really.

Well, maybe we should do
something to arouse your memory.


Shall I... get out
the scrapbooks?


Turn off the light.



Oh, yes, I remember you.