Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 1, Episode 22 - Death Set - full transcript

This is my boss, Jonathan Hart.
A self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

What a terrific lady!

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of them, which ain't easy...

'cause their hobby is murder.

Nice going.

-Thank you.
-Yeah, one of these days.

How many did we play?

How about a drink?



I got a feeling you've been practicing
your backhand behind my back.

No, I just got lucky
with a couple of shots, that's all.

-Hi, Tony.
-Hey, Jonathan, Darryl.

-How'd it go?
-Tony, don't ask.

Don't ask, huh? Not too good?

-He's tough.
-I know he's tough.

-Give me a break.
-You'll be better tomorrow.

See you.

-How about a drink?
-It's a little early, isn't it?

I'll have an orange juice. Tall.

I'll have a short orange juice,
drop a double vodka in it.

We're still on for the night?

Yeah. Sure. Whatever Blair said.

How is she?



-You know.
-I wouldn't have asked if I knew.

Service is slow around here.

We just ordered.

Something wrong?

I'm thirsty.

Squeeze me another double, will you?

Thanks.

You might as well know, Jonathan.

It's Blair and me.

I don't know.

When we got married, it was like a fairy tale.

She was so beautiful.

I know. She's still beautiful.

But she's changed.

In what way?

You know how my family responded...

when they found out I was marrying
this "actress nobody," as they called her.

They practically cut me out of the will.
Said all she wanted was my money.

-Did you believe that?
-No, I didn't...

then.

Now that some of the stardust
is out of my eyes, I'm beginning to wonder.

No, leave it.

Do you know where the tie is
that goes with this suit?

Please, darling,
I'll bet I'm the only woman in America...

who waits for her husband to get dressed.

Well, I've always told you,
you're one in one hundred million.

Darling...

is the tie you're looking for
blue with little white polka dots?

-Yeah.
-Guess what?

Doesn't Max ever feed that dog?

-Well, what do you think? This?
-Yes.

Now, please, darling, I don't want to be late.

Blair sounded awfully nervous
on the telephone.

Yeah, Darryl wasn't much better.

The way he was talking,
it sounded like that...

he and Blair weren't going to make it
much longer.

He's got this thing in his head
that she's after his money.

Well, what do you think?

-Thank you.
-Now....

Would you get my cuff links for me?
They're in the top drawer over there.

Oh, Jonathan! I said I wanted to be....

What's this?

That must be your anniversary present.

That's not for three weeks yet.

Well, then, put it back in the drawer.

Oh, great! Look at that!

A cooking timer!

How sensible!

Well, it's true it only lasts for an hour...

but if you look a little deeper,
you'll find something for the long run.

-Oh, Jonathan!
-Do you like it?

-That's gorgeous.
-It has a quartz crystal.

Oh, it's just beautiful.

-It only loses five seconds a year.
-Really?

In that case, we're later than I thought.

Shall I keep Mr. Craddock's dinner warm,
ma'am?

Yes, that would be nice, thank you.

You know, someday,
they're gonna write a cookbook...

especially for wives
that have to reheat the dinner three times.

Thank you for trying.

But I don't think
Darryl's gonna make dinner.

Well, maybe he got tied up
in a business conference.

This has nothing to do with business.

You don't mean there's another woman?

I only wish there were.

No, my rival is anything that's 100-proof.

I'm sorry.

The Craddocks finally won.

They just kept hammering away.

Every time I even spoke to another man
or smiled at him...

Darryl accused me of having an affair.

Then he got tired of fighting them.

Now he just stays away and drinks.

Will you be taking coffee in the living room?

Yes, thank you, Margaret.
Did the Brentwood Patrol call back?

-No, they haven't. Shall I try them again?
-Please.

Thank you for the dinner.

What's this about the Brentwood Patrol?

Didn't I tell you?
We had a break-in about a month ago.

-No, you didn't.
-There've been other instances.

Prowlers, phone calls at odd hours.

-How frightening.
-Yes, it is.

That's why I resent Darryl's never
being around anymore.

He knows how terrified I am of being alone.

Blair, why don't you spend the night
at our house?

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
I just need to relax a little.

How long have you been taking those?

It's just a little something for my nerves.

Don't worry.
I haven't become one of those yet.

Boy, do I feel sorry for her.

Isn't it a beautiful night?

-Darling.
-What?

Why don't you slide over
and you drive tonight?

All right.

Because it'll give me a chance
to look at you.

Oh, Jonathan.

And you know how much
I love to look at you.

And I can kiss you...

have my arms around you...

Oh, I see.

-...and touch your eyes.
-Oh, yes.

Oh, Jonathan, I wish you'd told me
before we left the house.

We could have avoided such a delay.

I'd climb the highest mountains...

cross the widest spaces...

just to hold you in my arms.

Jonathan?

-Are you all right?
-Yeah.

Thanks. What's this?

A class ring.

A burglar from Yale?

-Will that be enough ice?
-Yes, thank you.

Jonathan, I am so sorry.

That's all right.
It's just a lucky thing we were here.

I just don't know what people
are supposed to do anymore.

-Don't you have an alarm system?
-Yes, when it works.

They send a repairman out.
He leaves and it goes dead.

I've even taken to keeping a gun
next to my bed.

Who's there?

It's all right, Mrs. Craddock.

It's only me.

Take it easy, Blair.

That does it.

You're coming home
and spending the night with us.

-Oh, now, Jonathan, it isn't necessary--
-Yes, it is.

I'll go upstairs with you and help you pack.

You're coming home.

I'm gonna go out and take a look around,
darling.

-I'll meet you at the car. Don't be too long.
-We won't.

-I just feel so stupid.
-Don't be silly. We're your friends.

I know, but--

Margaret, I think you should stay
at your place tonight.

I'm going to spend the night at the Harts'.

Now, why don't you go get ready,
I'll help Margaret lock up.

Shall we?

Margaret?

Jennifer?

Jonathan?

Hello?

Hello?

Who's there?

Who's there?

Please, tell me who's there!

Stop.

Whoever you are, stop.

Stop, or I'll shoot!

Stop, or I'll shoot!

-Mrs. Craddock!
-It's Darryl!

No!

Let's take this one step at a time.

-Now, you and Mrs. Hart were locking up.
-And we heard Mrs. Craddock calling out.

Go on.

Well, we came out into the hall...

I turned on the light...

and we saw Mr. Craddock
standing there on the stairs.

Saw him? You mean you recognised him?
Before the shot?

Yes.

Lieutenant...

believe me, it was very dark.

We only got a glimpse of him
for a split second.

Well, how about you, Mrs. Craddock?

I don't know. I was so frightened, and....

Give the lady a break, Lieutenant.
She's not going anywhere.

-Blair, are you all right?
-David.

-And who are you?
-David Craddock, the victim's brother.

Jonathan, Jennifer, thanks for calling.

Considering the circumstances,
I don't think you should say anything...

until you've been properly advised.

It's all right. I have nothing to hide.

-Lieutenant, would you excuse us, please?
-Sure.

Let's go upstairs.

Margaret, would you bring up a cup of tea?

Certainly, Mrs. Hart.

-I'll help you, Margaret.
-Thank you.

It's been a long night for everybody,
Lieutenant.

Why don't we end it?

It's okay by me.
I'm not going anywhere either.

-Mind if I take a look at him?
-Not if he doesn't.

Darling, it just doesn't make any sense.

Why would Darryl pretend
to break into his own house?

I don't know.

-Unless he was planning to kill Blair.
-What?

Yeah, I'm a little shocked myself.

On the other hand,
maybe Blair beat him to the punch.

What do you think?

Well, I was right there. It was very dark.
Darryl never said a word.

And anyway, why?
Why would they have to resort to that?

If they weren't getting along,
Darryl could certainly afford a divorce.

Financially, yes.

But wouldn't it be a lot easier
to have the lady killed by a prowler...

than admit to Mummy and Daddy
that he'd made a big mistake?

-There's only one problem.
-What's that?

This scheming husband you've concocted
is dead.

Right?

Darling...

if you were gonna kill me...

how would you do it?

Don't worry, darling,
you'd never feel a thing.

I wouldn't?

I'd do it when you were asleep.

Good night, darling.

Thank you.

Isn't it a beautiful day?

Yes, it is.

Thank you so very much
for getting me out of the house.

-It's good for you.
-Blair, how are you?

Hi, Diane.

Well, we haven't seen you since....

Since I killed Darryl.

Blair, I don't think she really meant that.

The police have accepted it.
The press will not leave me alone.

"Society actress murders wealthy
husband. By accident."

It's only been a few weeks.
People will forget in time. I promise you.

Will they?

I'm sorry. I know how terrible it is for you.

Well, there has been one silver lining.

You and Jonathan have been so dear.

-And then David....
-David.

David Craddock?

Well, don't look so shocked.
Nothing's happened.

He's just been very supportive.

And believe me,
up against that family, I need an ally.

Cheers.

Hey, Tony, how are you?

-Hi there, Jonathan.
-Hello, David. Excuse me a second.

Hey, you wouldn't be able to squeeze me in
this afternoon, would you?

-Booked solid.
-Well, how about Thursday?

Doesn't look too promising.

Well, I'll just check back next week.

You do that.

Say, Jonathan, what do you say we get
together for a couple of sets sometime?

Why not.

-I'll give you a call.
-Okay.

Take it easy.

Hi, Tony.

Say, how long do you think
it would take you...

to fix my erratic forehand?

I'd say about 20 minutes or so.

Then maybe after that
we could play a little tennis.

You're terrible.

Yeah, and you've been talking
to Mrs. Feingarten again.

-Got a half open at 3:30, okay?
-Great.

-Okay?
-Okay.

How come you didn't want to give
Craddock a lesson?

It's not important.

It's important to me.

Okay, Jonathan.

-The guy stiffed me a few times.
-You're kidding.

And I'm not the only one.
Other members with cards.

A lot of people are holding his lOU's.

As a matter of fact, the club threatened
to throw him out for back dues.

Look, the Craddocks
are very wealthy people.

But when you've got the talent
he's got for blowing dough...

rich is never rich enough.

-There you are.
-Hi.

-Jennifer, how are you?
-Fine, David.

You know, we ought to be going
if we're gonna meet the Harveys.

-Will you excuse us, Jennifer?
-Absolutely.

-Thank you.
-Have a nice time.

I'll call you later. Thank you.

-Hello, darling.
-Hi.

Well, what do you think of that?

No comment.

You know, I really have to thank you.

-For what?
-For being my friend.

Well, it hasn't exactly been difficult.

-You know I've always liked you.
-In spite of the family?

No, I mean, really liked you.

No, I didn't know.

Well, I did.

And I do.

I've a couple of theatre tickets,
and I've been stood up.

Maybe we could....

Maybe we could.

Hello? Oh, hi!

Now, just a minute.

No, you listen!

Look, I've taken too many chances for you.
It's not my fault that Hart woman was there.

I didn't ask her to stay behind.

Things are gonna be different now,
or I'm gonna blow this whole thing.

Well, you should have thought of that
before you decided to kill him.

I'll see you later.

I'm just calling to check on my reservation
for tonight.

Good. You got that '63 on ice? Wonderful.

Maybe I could have Regal on my table?

Oh, you're a doll.

Wonderful. Love you.

Relax. Don't I always bring you
the people bag?

I have a feeling
that we should be eating with Max tonight.

What a terrible thing to say.
You should see what I've got in the oven.

By the way, Mr. H,
I feel like a little after-dinner disco.

So don't wait up for me.

Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.

Well, that'll give time
for the wine to breathe.

Good.

You know, I've been thinking
about David Craddock's finances.

-I thought David was a millionaire.
-Not yet.

Old man Craddock
has him on a limited income...

if you can call $200,000 dollars a year
limited.

I don't get your train of thought.

Blair killed Darryl.
What does David have to do with it?

-Maybe they engineered it together.
-I saw the whole thing.

I'm positive it was an accident.

I didn't tell you, but yesterday
I saw David Craddock at the pro shop.

He also went to Yale.

He was wearing the same kind
of class ring that Darryl wore.

My roast!

It's ruined!

It's ruined!

It's that timer of yours!

-Did you set it?
-Well, of course I set it!

I forgot!

Isn't it a bit well-done?

Carve.

-Do you like the end cut?
-Yes.

I think that's it.

Good evening.

Now, is that the best you can do?

A little something to make amends?

You know, I really don't like your supposed
familial interest in Mrs. Craddock.

You made that very clear on the phone.

I hope you haven't come up
with any new plans that don't include me.

My dear, my dear.

Nothing's changed.

Just relax.

To us.

What are you gonna do about her?

I haven't worked that out yet.

According to your great master plan...

she should have been on trial for murder
right now.

Well, your testimony
wasn't very convincing.

That's hardly my fault. What could I say?
Mrs. Hart was right there.

You didn't do much better,
you let Hart get your ring.

Hey, come on.

We're both in this thing together, aren't we?

What about suicide?

-Suicide?
-Why not?

Mrs. Craddock, the distraught widow...

anguished over the accidental killing
of her husband, commits suicide.

Suicide, huh?

That's interesting.

To tell you the truth...

that very idea occurred to me, too.

Something wrong, darling?

Aren't you feeling well?

Here.

Suicide, huh?

That's an interesting notion.

I like it.

Now, this is just too convenient.

An appropriate note.

Let me get this straight.

One peanut butter cheese burger,
medium rare...

one Hawaiian burger with pineapple,
avocado, cashew nuts, and onions, medium.

Don't forget the pickles.

Pickles.

One order fries, one order onion rings.

Do you want Rosie's special dressing
on your burgers?

-Absolutely.
-Why not.

Far out. Anything else?

-What else do you suggest?
-A Bromo-Seltzer.

Now, look,
I really don't want you to feel sad...

because Freeway seemed to love the roast.

Not only that, but I've had
a lot of wonderful, wonderful meals...

prepared by your loving hands.

-Well, thank you very much.
-You're welcome.

-Cheers.
-Cheers to you.

You know, the other day,
after we finished playing tennis...

Darryl said to me that he thought
that Blair was really after his money.

And Blair told me that Darryl
was always drunk.

Well, somewhere between is the truth.

-Why don't we ask Margaret?
-Margaret?

Yeah, she would know.
Housekeepers know everything.

Of course.

You know, she lives somewhere
around here. We could go and see her.

How do you know that?

Don't you remember? We were gonna
drive her home the night Darryl....

The night of Darryl's accident.

You know, one day I'm gonna have you
prosecuted for withholding information.

Here you go.

Now, that's what I call fast food.

Maybe we should have called first.

You smell something?

-Yes.
-That's gas.

Get that window.

She's dead.

Let's take a look around.

Darling...

listen to this.

"Without Darryl there's no point."

Margaret and Darryl?

You think they were having an affair
and Blair found out?

I don't know.

I'll tell you one thing...

that's an awfully expensive dress
for a housekeeper.

I saw that advertised last week.
That's an Oscar de la Renta.

Let's take a look in the other room.

Jonathan.

There are a lot of expensive clothes
in her wardrobe.

Look at those.

-Look familiar?
-Is it supposed to?

They're the same kind of little red capsules
that Blair takes.

Except they're not.

Dextroamphetamine.

Stimulant.

Quite a boost for a lady
who's looking for a letdown.

Listen, if we're gonna make the theatre,
we gotta leave right....

I guess we're not going to the theatre.

Well...

it's a boring play anyway.

-You've seen it already.
-Yeah.

Well, as a matter of fact, so have I.

I really don't think you need those anymore.

Are you suggesting
that all my troubles are over?

Aren't they?

It's absolutely you and nobody else but.

Well, it's lovely, Simon,
but what I had in mind...

was something a little more....

Something strapless, maybe...

with beading on it and a coral shade.

-It's amazing, Mrs. Hart. Truly amazing.
-Why?

I had that exact dress a few weeks ago,
but it was sold instantly.

-What a shame!
-It was divine.

I know you would have loved it.

No chance of getting another one?

Well, they're all one of a kind.
Unique. Original. Un-reproduced.

But you could reproduce another one for us,
couldn't you?

Well, if you promise not to tell.

What would a dress like that cost?

Between $3000-$4000,
depending on the fabric.

Oh, yes.
Haute couture is very haute these days.

Who was the lucky lady to get it?

-I believe it was Craddock.
-Blair Craddock?

No, the purchaser was Mr. Craddock.

I didn't think that was Darryl's look.

Mr. David Craddock.

David Craddock.

Well, I hope I haven't given away
any family secrets.

This is everything.

I haven't looked at it
since the police returned it.

Thanks.

I still can't believe Margaret's suicide.

It just doesn't go
with that staid British personality.

Blair, Jonathan and I aren't convinced
it really was a suicide.

-What?
-Darling.

-What year did Darryl graduate from Yale?
-Graduate?

'60. It was 1960.
We were married exactly five years later.

That isn't Darryl's ring.

Of course it is. It was taken off his body.

No, it isn't.

It's the one that I accidentally
pulled off of David Craddock's hand...

the night he pretended to be the prowler.

I gave that ring to the police
when I saw that Darryl's ring was missing.

David was the prowler?

You see, I left Margaret alone with the body
when I went to call the police.

That's when she took the ring.

I think we'll find out
that the one David is wearing now...

really belongs to Darryl.

Do you know what's in those capsules
you're always taking?

Just a mild tranquilliser.
The doctor prescribed it for my nerves.

Margaret filled that prescription for you,
didn't she?

Yes, she did.

She substituted amphetamines
to keep a very nervous lady very nervous.

Are you saying David arranged all this?

David and Margaret.

How else could he get control?

You know, for the first time in my life...

I think I really could kill someone.

Hello?

Blair darling. How are you?

David, something very strange
has happened.

What's that?

I was looking through Darryl's things...

and his ring, his graduation ring,
well, it's not his.

That is odd, isn't it?

Have you mentioned it to anyone else?

No. Should I call the police?

No, probably not necessary.

I'm scared.
You know how I hate being alone.

Could you....

I'll be right over.

Blair.

Blair, where are you?

Darling, it's David.

Hello, David.

You see, the door was open, so I just....

-Would you mind putting the gun down?
-Why?

Are you afraid I might shoot you
accidentally?

Well, I understand you're very nervous.

Do you?

Why is that?

Well, this has been a terrible time for you.

David, I know all about it.

I know all about you and Margaret.

I may not be able to prove it...

-but then again, I won't have to.
-What are you talking about?

You're a prowler, David,
and I'm going to kill you.

Why not? I did it before.

Please, Blair,
you don't know what you're doing.

Listen to me! I did it for us!

And it worked. Margaret was never
important to me. She was dispensable.

You need me!

Together, we could have the entire
Craddock fortune.

-You'll never get away with this.
-Really?

You proved to me that I could.

I'm truly sorry that it had to come to this.

That's one for the class of '63.

-Hey, not bad for an aspiring actress.
-Thank you.

Darling, how much longer? I'm starving.

I'm going as fast as I can.

Just a few minutes more.

Nice of Mrs. H to do the cooking tonight.

Yeah, well, we had a little disaster
the other night, Max...

so I think she's trying to redeem herself.

No matter what she cooks up now,
you make a big fuss, okay?

Sure.

-Need any help, darling?
-No, it's all under control.

-I think I'll put the Bentley to bed.
-That's a good idea, Max.

You want fast food?
I'll give you fast food, ace.

Coming right at you.

-Max.
-Yes, Mr. H?

You'd better roll out the Bentley.

I think we'll be eating out tonight.