Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 1, Episode 17 - The Raid - full transcript

This is my boss, Jonathan Hart,
a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

What a terrific lady.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of them, which ain't easy...

'cause their hobby is murder!

Yes?

Mr. Hart, it's Dr. Hampton on the line
from South America.

Thank you very much.

Phil.



Congratulations, I got your report.

Well, congratulations yourself.

You were the one
that bankrolled this experiment.

Well, it was worth every penny.
The results are sensational.

They're not the only results.
We saw a doctor last week.

Claire's pregnant. Can you believe that?

Hey, that's terrific.
It must be that tropical moon.

More likely that
we can't watch television at night.

When are you two coming back?

We should have things
wrapped up here in about a week.

Well, as soon as you get home,
you got a date with Jennifer and me.

You can count on it.
And give our love to Jennifer. Bye-bye.

-Gracias, amigo.
-Por nada, señor.

Muchas gracias.



Okay, Madam Curie, it's time for the deal.

I take it the boss was pleased.

Anything that increases world
food production brings a smile to his lips.

And right now he's grinning from ear to ear.
Vámonos, Armando.

-Did you tell him about the baby?
-Yeah. He really thought it was great.

The Harts want us to have dinner with them
as soon as we get back.

Good. After all that canned food
we've been eating...

I'll make the meal last me a week.

-Well, after all, you are eating for two now.
-Don't be cute.

-They just left the fields.
-Entiendo.

They should be there in three minutes.

Here we go.

That's them.

Remember, we want them alive.

Go the other way, Armando.

-What are they doing?
-I don't know. I don't know.

Look out! There's another one.

Oh, my God!

-They shot--
-Phil!

They're getting closer, Phil.

Get the tires! Get the tires!

Oh, my God.

-Claire. You all right?
-So far.

-You okay? Come on, honey.
-I think so.

-Stop right there!
-Now, wait a minute. Wait.

-We're scientists from the States.
-We know who you are.

If it's money you want,
we'll give you what we have.

We don't want your money, lady.

We want your employer's money,
Jonathan Hart.

-Jonathan.
-Get in.

No more tricks. Come on.

-Move it. Move it.
-Inside.

-Good work. See you at the villa.
-Right.

Easy, boy. Easy, boy.

"And last, but not least...

"install the prefabricated and charming...

"doggie-house chimney."

What does a doghouse
need with a chimney?

-Mr. H, this wire came from South America.
-Thanks, Max.

-What's with the chimney?
-That's what we're trying to figure out.

Maybe for a doggie Santa Claus.

-Damn it.
-What is it?

This wire is from Bacopa,
from their authorities.

It says that Phil and Claire Hampton
were kidnapped this morning.

What?

That must have been
right after I talked to Phil.

Why did they wire you?

Because they think that I'm the one
that's going to get the ransom demand.

Max, there's a citizen's emergency centre
down at the State Department.

They handle things like this.

See if you can raise somebody there,
will you?

Right, Mr. H.

-I thought that they had guards with them.
-So did I.

That's why I sent them down there,
because I thought they'd be protected.

We were supposed to have
certain assurances from the government.

Let's hope our government
proves more helpful.

We really appreciate your seeing us
at this late hour, Mr. Fox.

I wish I could say
it was my pleasure, Mrs. Hart.

Have you heard
from the Bacopan government?

-Just before you arrived.
-And?

Mr. Hart, dare I ask you...

if you remember a man named
Herbert Cober?

The investment broker?

I believe you testified against him
in front of a Senate subcommittee.

-Fraud, embezzlement, laundering money.
-Yes, I did.

What does Cober have to do with this?

He's the man responsible
for kidnapping your people.

Herb Cober.
I thought I was finished with him in my life.

As you know, he fled the United States
before he could be arrested.

The State Department has been trying
to have him extradited...

but unfortunately,
we don't have a treaty with that country.

Mr. Fox...

we're talking about two American citizens.

Now don't you think you could do
something to get the Bacopan government...

involved in some way?

We'll try to have the local police investigate.

However, I doubt they'll be able
to be of much help.

Cober has hired a small army
to protect himself.

That's great.

-Where does that leave the Hamptons?
-It leaves them in your hands, Mr. Hart.

After you've been contacted by Cober,
we'll know more.

What do you suggest we do?

Well, Mrs. Hart, as you know...

corporate kidnapping is not unique
to this office.

My general experience has been
that the best thing to do is...

pay the $2.

Has it been your general experience that
that would ensure...

the return and safety of our friends?

Unfortunately not, Mr. Hart.

Unfortunately not.

-Hello, Mr. Cober.
-You're late.

-I know that. I had a minor delay.
-Put it over there.

Yes, sir.

Hi, there.

There you go.

Okay, Mr. Cober, if everything goes
as planned, I'll call you from Depego.

What's this?

It's a message to your employer,
to let him know that you're alive.

And to inform him of our demands
for your release.

You'll read it into this.

"If the ransom is not in the hands
of this man by sundown Friday"....

Friday, that's tomorrow.

It'll take that long for the tape
to reach the States.

No. A messenger will take it
to the American Embassy here.

It'll be put into a diplomatic pouch
and hand-delivered to Mr. Hart...

who will then pay the ransom, hopefully.

What if it doesn't get here in time?

Read the message, Dr. Hampton.

"Jonathan, at the moment,
Claire and I are being held captive.

"To this point, we are unharmed,
and being treated well."

These are the demands for our release:

One million dollars in diamonds
are to be delivered...

to the village of Depego, Thursday.

Someone will make contact
with your courier.

If the ransom is not in the hands of this man
by sundown friday...

Claire and I will be killed.

Well, that certainly lays it out.

Why diamonds, Mr. H?

They're easier to deal in than currency.

Do you have a courier you can trust?

Yeah, but it'd be a big hassle
getting him clearances.

On top of that, there's no guarantee
that when the ransom is delivered...

that the Hamptons would be released.

No courier could make sure of that.

What basket are you gonna put
your eggs into?

-My own.
-What?

I suppose you're just looking.

No, we're just buying.

How much is this.... This.

Madam, that piece is worth $500,000.

-Then we wouldn't be interested in that.
-I didn't think so.

Do you have anything
that's a little more expensive?

More expensive?

Yeah, you heard the lady.

How about those earrings?

$150,000.

Well, have you got anything
better than that?

I'll try. I'll try, sir. Believe me, I'll try.

Jonathan. I think this may be just the thing.

This quaint little necklace.

How much is that?

One quaint million.

-Sold.
-Will you take a cheque?

What's the name of this place?

There you are.

Jonathan Hart?

Claire, honey, what's wrong?

I had a nightmare. It was awful.

It's okay, it's okay.

I dreamed that the ransom came...

but Cober didn't keep
his end of the bargain.

And then the guards
pointed their rifles at us and fired.

Phil, they're gonna kill us.

Honey, they haven't given us
any reason to believe that.

But don't you see the way he looks at us?

Like we're already dead.

Honey, I know Jonathan Hart.

He isn't gonna let anything like that
happen to us. Believe me.

What are you doing?

Sorry I'm late,
but I couldn't find my passport.

-Sounds familiar.
-Who invited you?

Listen, if you two guys go,
I got to go along to look after you.

Max, number one,
Freeway can't be taken across the border.

He ain't going across the border.

Remember I told you
that Freeway was in love with Suzie?

I'm taking Freeway to Suzie
and I'm going along with you...

and I don't want no arguments.

You heard what the man said.
"And I don't want no arguments."

Mr. H, what's with the helicopter?

Will you stop asking so many questions
and just get in?

Now, now, boys, no fighting on this trip.

-What's the book, Max?
-Two Hours to a Better Spanish Vocabulary.

I hope you're a quick study, Max.

Thanks a lot for all your help.

Jonathan, the centre of town
must be over there.

Well, how do you like it so far?

Well, it's a charming-looking place.

-Where are we staying?
-I booked us into the best place in town.

Also, the only place in town.

-Hello?
-Mr. Cober?

Yes, the Americans have arrived.

Yes, sir, they're here. Three of them.

-They came by helicopter.
-Three?

Yes, sir. Two men and one woman. Pretty.

-Was one of them about my age?
-I would say so.

Quite good-looking. Quite elegant. Yeah.

-So he came in person.
-I beg your pardon, sir?

Nothing. I'll send a car around
to pick them up.

Keep your eye on the hotel
until the car arrives.

You wanna double the bet?

-Why? Do you think you got me?
-I know I got you.

-I don't know. I feel kind of lucky.
-You're right.

-Can I help you?
-Good day to you, sir.

Hey, wait a minute. Who are you?

-Mr. Cober sent me.
-Max.

My name is Lorenzo Sanchez.

You must be Mr. Hart.
It's such a pleasure for me to see you.

I heard so much about you.

Mr. Cober is anxious to see you, Mr. Hart.

And your lady, of course.

How are the Hamptons?

The Hamptons?

I think I'll wait for you outside.
In case you forget to bring me something.

Okay, Max, you stay here, in case that guy
doesn't know what a round-trip ticket is.

Well, we're certainly going in style.

I hope we come back the same way.

When you finish your business
with Mr. Cober...

I would love to show you around, Mrs. Hart.

-Mr. Hart.
-Mr. Cober.

-And this is your lovely wife, I assume.
-That's a safe assumption.

I'm rather surprised
that you came in person.

Well, you know how undependable
the mails are these days.

Indeed.

I trust that you brought the diamonds.

Darling.

Well, you never did lack style, Mr. Hart.

It's almost a shame to take them.
They look so lovely on you.

You could always change your mind,
if you wanted to.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Hart,
I'm not the indecisive type.

We hate to deliver and run.

-Where are the Hamptons?
-First things first.

On your way back to Depego,
you'll discover them on the road.

They were afforded every hospitality
while they were here.

Speaking of which,
can I offer you a glass of wine?

-I'll pass.
-No, thank you.

-Are you sure?
-Positive.

It's quite excellent.
I have it flown in from France.

Well you certainly do live well, Mr. Cober.

Well, it's one of my few pleasures.

-Although the overhead is rather heavy.
-We noticed them on the way in.

Your ammunition bill alone
must be astonishing.

It is a rather expensive form of insurance,
but luckily...

I can afford it.

You can also afford expensive jokes.

Well, surely you've noticed
that there's very little to amuse one here...

no matter how rich he may be.

This kidnapping was directed at me,
wasn't it?

It was a rather sparkling little retaliation,
wouldn't you agree?

What other...

brilliant little surprises
do you have in store for us?

You don't have to worry, Mrs. Hart.
I'm a man of my word.

After all, I'm a thief, not a murderer.

Well, I'm happy to know
that there's still honour among them.

There they are.

Jonathan!

-You okay?
-Yeah, what are you two doing here?

-You're okay?
-Yeah.

This is what we call full employee coverage.

Our guides didn't make it.

Come on, let's get going.

Don't forget. You make sure you take Claire
to the hospital for a good checkup.

-First order of business.
-Everything okay, Mr. H?

-Yeah, it all went well, Max.
-Jonathan, thank you so much.

-You're welcome.
-Wish you were coming with us.

He'll come back for us.

-Thanks, Jonathan.
-You're welcome.

-Remember what Jennifer said, now.
-Right.

Well, what do you say we get cleaned up
and grab ourselves something to eat?

Say, maybe there's
a Chinese restaurant in town.

I doubt it. This place ain't noted
for its haute cuisine.

-Hey, Max, keep your eyes on things, huh?
-Right, Mr. H.

Well, if we can't find a Chinese restaurant,
what would you say to a nice, cold martini?

-With a twist?
-Why not?

Jonathan.

-Amigo.
-Jonathan, my friend.

How are you? It's been a long time.

You must be the lovely Jennifer. I am Jorge.

Your husband is an old friend of mine.

-Jorge.
-What's the matter?

I don't speak the language
but I can see what's going on.

You forget, I've known this character
for a long time. Will you take it easy?

Jonathan, she's so charming,
I just got carried away.

You've gotten carried away
a few times before...

as I remember, by the police,
isn't that right?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You called him before we left, didn't you?

That helicopter's not really coming back
right away, is it?

Because the two of you are gonna
get the necklace back, aren't you?

You got it.

You are both completamente loco.

Jonathan, not only charming, but smart.

Okay, stop it.

Tomas, Daniel...

this is Mr. and Mrs. Hart,
my American friends I told you about.

-Hello.
-How do you do?

-And this is their friend.
-We know señor Max.

He joined us in a game of Cacho.

-What's "Cacho"?
-It's a kind of liar's poker.

-How'd you do?
-Not so hot.

I'm afraid your friend
is not such a good liar.

Yeah? It's the first time I ever heard about it.

Mr. H, you've cut me to the quick.

Señora.

Gracias.

Shall we talk about
paying a visit to Mr. Cober?

It better be a short one.

-He must have 20 men up there.
-Don't worry.

You see, Jorge's people are not too fond
of Cober either.

Tell her.

Before he came here,
we had dignity in our country...

in our people.

Then with all the money he stole
from his own country...

he contaminated ours.

He even exploited our government officials.

He pays them off.
Entertains them with big parties.

Yes, he's having one tomorrow night.

It should be very interesting.
Poses certain possibilities.

You two stay out of sight.
Cober's men might see you.

Might become suspicious.

Well in that case,
I think we'd better disappear.

Come on, darling.

-Good night, Jonathan.
-Jorge.

I will get in touch with you tomorrow.

You, too.

What did he say?

That you should sleep like an angel.

Good night.

Bring the tequila.

It feels so strange going to bed at 9:00.

I think that's a great selling point.

Don't get sold too quickly.
I have a big surprise.

What's that?

-The bed.
-The bed?

The bed.

Let's see.

Yeah, I see what you mean.

Can you move over a little bit?

-Sorry.
-It's all right.

-Here.
-Thank you.

-How's that?
-Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. That's my arm, you see.

My arm.

The circulation is getting cut off. There.

That's better.

-My left leg is getting a little numb.
-Is it? I'm sorry.

Look, why don't we try this back to back?

All right.

-I've got a better idea.
-What's that?

Turn off the light.

Turn off the light.

-Yeah.
-There, isn't that better?

I'll say.

Can you stay like that all night?

I certainly hope so.

Good evening.

We haven't had a chance to talk
since I've been here.

This is good.

I haven't had a good drink of Scotch
in a long time.

I told you before we left. Remember?

-How long ago was that?
-About 15 years.

Fifteen years.

Well, I told you then,
you'd always have a job, Jorge.

No, it was better that I came back here.

My home, my town, my people.

I had such dreams.

It never happened, your revolution.

-No.
-Why?

It is not possible to talk to people
about freedom...

when all they care about is survival.

Maybe what we'll do tonight
will serve as a beginning for that.

Jonathan, you are a romantic.

Tonight is a question of honour.

My people, they help me.

They follow me because honour is something
they understand.

But tomorrow, they go back
to the fields again.

And everything will be exactly the same
as it was before.

Same struggle...

the same suffering...

the same hopelessness.

Makes a man sick, Jonathan.

Come on, time to get ready.

-Wonderful evening, Mr. Cober.
-Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

It's been a while
since you threw one of these.

There'll be a lot more of them
in the near future.

I take it your fortunes have taken a turn
for the better?

Indeed they have, my friend.
Indeed they have.

Well, don't you think
it's time you joined the party again?

Well, if it isn't Mr. Hart
and his beautiful lady again.

Well, Lorenzo.

You're all dressed up
and missing all the fun.

My idea of fun is quite different from yours,
Mr. Hart.

I'm afraid the party is over for you.
Now, get out.

Get out!

And now, my friends, you move.

-Well, darling, shall we crash the party?
-Why not?

Thank you.

-Well, he certainly buys the best.
-Why not? You're paying for it.

Excuse me.

Good evening.

Well, what an unexpected pleasure.

-Thank you.
-I'll bet.

My people had told me
that the helicopter had left.

It did. We decided to take a later flight.

Besides, you have something of mine.

-But Mr. Hart, we made a trade.
-Well, just call me an Indian giver.

The necklace, Mr. Cober.

Forgive me, but didn't you enter
from the front door?

-Yes, we did.
-Anything else would be bad manners.

Well, certainly you noticed that my men
were very well in attendance there.

They're there.

But they're not there in the way
that you think that they're there.

Miss, thank you. Darling?

Would you care to take a little walk with us?

Well, Mr. Hart, I begin to see your point.

I thought you would.

Well, now, you were very resourceful.

-Well, that shouldn't surprise you.
-In America it wouldn't. But here....

My husband always carries a rabbit or two
to pull out of his hat.

Yes, being prepared has always been
one of his hallmarks.

I should have followed his example.

I might not have had to flee
the United States.

A man should profit from his mistakes.

Oh, yes. Yes, certainly.

I wouldn't do that, Mr. Cober.

You started it, Mr. Cober, now finish it.

I can't tell you
what a pleasure it's going to be...

to air-mail you back to the United States.

Special delivery.

Señorita.

Jennifer.

Well, well, Jonathan, you're better than ever.

Better fighter.

Muy hombre.

Thanks, Jorge.

I would like to propose a toast:

To the confusion of our enemies...

and to the ladies...

God bless them.

I'll drink to that.

Salud.

Salud.

Jorge, we want you to have this.

It's for your people.

I can't believe it.

I don't know what to say.

Jonathan, your generosity
touches me deeply.

We will build a school, a playground...

a hospital for our children.

Your children.

We shall name it in your honour.

Come, I'll show you where you'll stand.

I'll see you around the corner
in half an hour.

You know, Jennifer....

Looks like they're walking off
into the sunset.

You better read this book...

Two Hours to Improve
Your Spanish Vocabulary...

so you'll know what he says to her.

You know how to say "bull" in Spanish?