Hart to Hart (1979–1984): Season 1, Episode 12 - Color Jennifer Dead - full transcript

(Max) THIS IS MY
BOSS, JONATHAN HART.

A SELF-MADE MILLIONAIRE.

HE'S QUITE A GUY.

THIS IS MRS. H. SHE'S GORGEOUS.

WHAT A TERRIFIC LADY!

BY THE WAY, MY NAME IS MAX.

I TAKE CARE OF THEM,
WHICH AIN'T EASY

'CAUSE THEIR HOBBY IS MURDER.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID, WE USED
TO HAVE THIS GAME CALLED FREEZE TAG.

SOMEBODY WOULD TAG YOU AND
YOU HAD TO STAY STILL AS A STATUE.

IF YOU MOVED, YOU LOST.



I BET YOU WERE TERRIFIC AT IT.

I WAS THE WORST. I COULDN'T
STAY STILL FOR 10 SECONDS.

WELL, YOU'VE IMPROVED.

[giggling] OH, YEAH, I CAN
LAST ABOUT A MINUTE NOW.

OH, OH.

I'M SORRY. I JUST
COULDN'T HELP IT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU
CAN MOVE ALL YOU WANT TO.

REALLY? WE'RE
FINISHED FOR THE DAY?

WE ARE FINISHED, PERIOD.

REALLY? FINITO.

OH, CAN I SEE?

NO, NO, NO, NO. OH, COME ON!

I STILL HAVE A FEW TOUCHUPS.
AND THEN I WANT TO FRAME IT.

JUST A LITTLE PEEK. NO PEEKS.



NOT TILL IT'S
COMPLETELY COMPLETED.

JUST CHALK IT UP TO
ARTIST'S SUPERSTITION. RAT.

LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU GET CHANGED?

ALL RIGHT.

YOU MEAN JONATHAN DOESN'T
HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

(Jennifer) NONE AT ALL.

I WANTED TO SURPRISE
HIM FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD
ALL THE EXCUSES I HAD TO USE.

LIKE WHAT?

UH, LIKE I HAD TO GO AND
INTERVIEW A YOUNG, TALENTED ARTIST.

WELL, NOW I CAN SAY I HAD
TO GO AND INTERVIEW A YOUNG,

TALENTED, AND FAMOUS ARTIST.

NOT QUITE.

PRETTY CLOSE. AFTER THE
REVIEWS FROM YOUR LAST SHOW

I'D SAY YOU WERE WELL ON
YOUR WAY. I'M SORRY I MISSED IT.

OH, THERE'S A BROCHURE ON
THE TABLE THERE. IT'S ALL YOURS.

OH, GREAT.

I READ ONE CRITIC
WHO SAID YOU WERE

THE BRIGHTEST YOUNG
ARTIST SINCE ANDREW WYETH.

SO SHE DID.

WELL, THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.

NOT WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE
CRITIC WAS MY AUNT SHIRLEY.

OH, COME ON. I'VE SEEN THE WAY

YOUR PAINTINGS ARE
BEING SNAPPED UP.

AND THE PRICES! NOW, THAT HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH AUNT SHIRLEY.

CAN I GIVE YOU A CHECK,
WARREN? UH-UH-UH.

YOU DON'T OWE ME ANYTHING.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LET'S JUST SAY IT'S THANKS

FOR BEING MY PATRON ALL THESE
YEARS AND FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT.

YOU DESERVED IT.

NOT AS MUCH AS I NEEDED IT. OH.

IT'S A GIFT TO YOU AND
JONATHAN FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY.

YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THIS. I KNOW.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUN.

THANKS.

YOU'RE SURE I CAN'T... NO.

[Jennifer groaning] DO YOU KNOW,
OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD

TO SAY "NO" TO, YOU
ARE THE TOUGHEST?

WELL?

NO.

CRUEL. HMM-HMM.

BYE-BYE. BYE.

[car engine starting]

THAT REALLY WORK?

YEAH, WHY?

LET'S SEE.

ALL RIGHT, LET GO!

BETTER WORK WITH
THAT A WHILE LONGER.

CAN'T WE KEEP OUR MINDS
ON THE BUSINESS AT HAND?

SHALL WE PAY MR. KELLER A VISIT?

[knocking on door]

IT'S OPEN.

GOOD AFTERNOON, WARREN.

OH, MR. WINSLOW,
NICE TO SEE YOU.

WELL, FAR EMPTIER THAN
WHEN I WAS HERE LAST.

WELL, THE SHOW WENT VERY WELL.

BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT.

HOW MANY OF MY
PAINTINGS DID YOU BUY?

6.

I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT MORE, BUT
THE PRICES HAVE APPRECIATED SHARPLY.

YES, I KNOW. I DIDN'T EXPECT
THEM TO, UH, GO UP THAT WAY.

FORTUNATELY, OTHERS
HAVE A HIGHER OPINION

OF YOUR WORK THAN YOU SEEM TO.

I BEING ONE OF THEM.

(Winslow) IS THIS YOUR
LATEST ENDEAVOR?

YES, AS SOON AS I'M
FINISHED WITH THIS ONE.

LOVELY.

BOTH THE SUBJECT
AND THE PAINTING.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DID PORTRAITS.

OH, THIS IS A FAVOR
FOR AN OLD FRIEND.

(Keller) OR 2 OLD FRIENDS.

VERY NICE.

I'M SURE THE OWNER
WILL BE THRILLED.

WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?

JUST TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH
I'M ENJOYING YOUR PAINTINGS

AND TO GET AN IDEA OF WHEN YOU
MIGHT BE PLANNING YOUR NEXT SHOW.

OH, UH, WELL, I'M AFRAID I HAVE
TO RECOVER FROM THIS ONE

BEFORE I CAN EVEN
THINK OF THE NEXT ONE.

WELL, ALL OF US WHO HAVE
WATCHED YOUR PROGRESS

ARE ANXIOUS TO FIND OUT WHAT
THE NEXT FEW MONTHS WILL BRING.

I MAY DO SOME...
[Keller struggling]

UNFORTUNATELY, MY BOY,
THERE WILL BE NO MORE SHOWS.

UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU.

MOST FORTUNATELY FOR ME.

[Freeway whimpering]

(Jennifer) YOU'RE
GETTING EVASIVE.

(Jonathan) I'M NOT GETTING
EVASIVE. I'M GETTING DRENCHED.

NOW PROMISE ME, JONATHAN.

I DID. I DID PROMISE. I KNOW, BUT
IT DOESN'T SOUND CONVINCING.

DON'T FORGET TO
GET BEHIND HIS EARS.

I ALWAYS GET BEHIND HIS EARS.

SO WE'RE AGREED, THEN.

NO MORE EXPENSIVE
ANNIVERSARY PRESENTS.

I AGREE. I PROMISE...

SEE? YOU SEE, IT DOESN'T
SOUND CONVINCING TO ME.

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

WELL, YOU JUST HAVE
TO KEEP YOUR WORD.

NOT LIKE LAST YEAR.
REMEMBER THAT?

I PROMISE YOU, NO MORE
EXPENSIVE PRESENTS, OK?

DARLING, DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD
TAKE HIM TO A GROOMING PARLOR?

A GROOMING PARLOR? YEAH.

AND HAVE HIM BATHED
BY A STRANGER?

SOME PEOPLE WOULD PAY A LOT OF
MONEY TO BE BATHED BY A STRANGER.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO.

I'M SHOCKED.

REALLY?

[sighing] COME ON, FREEWAY.

[exclaiming]

[exclaiming]

WHAT'D YOU DO, GET
IN THE TUB WITH HIM?

WE WASHED. YOU DRY.

[Max grumbling] RIGHT.

COME ON, SWEETHEART.
LET'S HAVE A DRINK.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT
WOULD YOU LIKE, MRS. H?

OH, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.

I WANNA FIX YOU
SOMETHING SPECIAL.

LET'S SEE. I WOULD
LIKE A MARTINI.

A MARTINI? AH, YES,
A DREADED MARTINI.

ON THE ROCKS OR STRAIGHT UP?

STRAIGHT UP.

OLIVE?

WHY NOT?

TWIST?

LET'S LIVE DANGEROUSLY.

YOU MIND IF I TURN
ON THE NEWS? NO.

AND NOW, A BULLETIN.
THE ART WORLD

(news reader) HAS SUFFERED
A TRAGIC LOSS TONIGHT.

WARREN KELLER, WHOSE RECENT
SHOW HAD CRITICS ACCLAIMING HIM,

WAS KILLED TONIGHT WHEN HIS CAR
WENT OVER THE EMBANKMENT HERE.

POLICE SAY IT APPEARS
HE HAD BEEN DRINKING.

KELLER... I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WHO LIVED HERE IN THE
SOUTHLAND FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE...

I WAS JUST WITH
HIM THIS MORNING.

I WAS SITTING FOR A...

I WAS SITTING FOR A PORTRAIT.

HE WAS GONNA GIVE YOU THE
PORTRAIT AS AN ANNIVERSARY PRESENT.

THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

THE REACTION FROM
THE ART COLONY TONIGHT

WILL, I'M SURE, BE ONE
OF SHOCK AND HORROR.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, I...

AND NOW FOR TOMORROW'S WEATHER.

JONATHAN, SOMETHING
DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.

DARLING, LET'S JUST...

NO, NO, I'M... I'M TELLING YOU,
THERE'S JUST SOMETHING WRONG.

LISTEN, LET'S SIT DOWN.

THE WOMAN ON THE TELEVISION
SAID IT WAS AN ACCIDENT,

THAT HE'D BEEN DRINKING. WHEN
YOU DRINK, HE COULD'VE VERY EASILY

DRIVEN HIS CAR OFF
THE... BUT THAT'S IT.

THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG.

HE WASN'T DRINKING.
YOU KNOW THAT.

HE WAS A MEMBER OF A.A. HE TOLD
ME HE HADN'T HAD A DRINK IN 5 YEARS

THAT IT HAD CHANGED
HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

ANYTHING.

I KNOW IT'S CRAZY, BUT WOULD YOU
JUST TAKE ME OVER TO HIS STUDIO?

I'LL TAKE YOU ANYWHERE
YOU WANT TO GO.

COME ON.

[crickets chirping]

NOW THEN, THE PORTRAIT
WAS RIGHT OVER HERE.

IT'S GONE.

WELL, MAYBE HE TOOK
IT IN THE CAR WITH HIM.

NO. LOOK, ALL HIS
SKETCHES ARE GONE.

AND THERE WAS A LITTLE
OIL RIGHT OVER HERE.

DARLING.

WHO ARE YOU? WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M A FRIEND OF...

I WAS A FRIEND OF WARREN'S.

OH, OH, YOU'RE JENNIFER HART.

YES.

YEAH, WARREN SHOWED
ME YOUR PORTRAIT.

THIS IS MY HUSBAND, JONATHAN.

I'M SCOTTY McCLAIN.

HE ALMOST DID YOU JUSTICE.

YOU WERE A FRIEND OF WARREN'S?

LOVERS.

(Scotty) WE WERE LOVERS.

OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

WARREN NEVER TALKED
ABOUT HIS PERSONAL LIFE.

I'M TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY SORRY.

THANKS.

I JUST CAME FROM
THE CORONER'S OFFICE.

I HAD TO IDENTIFY THE BODY.

IT'S A REALLY COLD PLACE.

I REMEMBER IT FROM THE LAST TIME

WARREN AND I WENT
DOWN TO IDENTIFY LASLO.

LASLO?

LASLO MADDOX.

WARREN AND I MET
IN HIS ART SEMINAR.

WASN'T LASLO MADDOX
THE MAN WHO DIED

IN MALIBU A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?

YEAH.

YEAH, HE DROWNED.

WAS WARREN A VERY GOOD DRIVER?

WARREN?

HE DROVE LIKE A LITTLE OLD LADY.

HE WAS VERY CAREFUL.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HE WENT
OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

YOU SAW THE, UH,
NEWS ON TELEVISION?

YEAH.

THEY SAID THAT HE WAS
DRINKING AND DRIVING.

NO WAY.

HE'D BEEN IN A.A.
FOR 5 YEARS NOW.

(Scotty) I MEAN, HE WENT TO
A MEETING THIS AFTERNOON.

RIGHT BEFORE YOU
CAME FOR YOUR SITTING.

NO, IF IT LOOKED
LIKE HE WAS DRINKING,

THERE'S JUST
SOMETHING WRONG HERE.

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING
TERRIBLY WRONG.

THAT WASN'T ANY ACCIDENT.

DO YOU THINK THAT
THAT CAN BE PROVED?

I DON'T KNOW HOW.

JUST TELL THE POLICE

BUT IF THEY REALLY THINK
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED,

I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO CONVINCE THEM.

I MEAN, WHO'S GONNA CARE
ABOUT SOME DEAD PAINTER?

WE DO.

[exclaiming]

[speaking in Japanese]

[people chattering]

LIEUTENANT, YOU CAN
TAKE YOUR BADGE OFF.

OH, YEAH. RIGHT.

DOES HE EVER MISS?

DON'T WORRY.

WE'VE NEVER FOUND ANYTHING
BUT FOOD IN OUR FOOD.

ARE YOU SURE? PROMISE.

YEAH, I NEVER BEEN IN A
PLACE LIKE THIS BEFORE.

IT'S AWFUL NICE
OF YOU TO ASK ME.

IT'S THE LEAST WE
CAN DO FOR YOU.

IT'S AWFULLY NICE
OF YOU TO TALK TO US.

WISH I HAD MORE TO TELL
YOU. AFTER YOU CALLED,

WE SPENT A WEEK RUNNING CHECKS.

ALL OF KELLER'S FRIENDS,
HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES.

WE COULDN'T TURN UP A THING.

NO TRACE OF THE
PICTURE OF JENNIFER?

NONE.

I DON'T KNOW. THESE
ARTISTS, THEY GET CRAZY.

MAYBE HE TOOK A LOOK AT IT, DECIDED
HE DIDN'T LIKE IT, AND RIPPED IT UP.

I DON'T BELIEVE
THAT, LIEUTENANT.

WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH? MMM-HMM.

DOESN'T SOUND TOO
TERRIFIC TO ME, EITHER.

IF EITHER ONE OF YOU
HAS ANY SUGGESTIONS...

I WISH WE DID.

WELL, WE REALLY DO APPRECIATE EVERYTHING
YOU'VE TOLD US SO FAR, LIEUTENANT.

AND IF THERE'S REALLY ANYTHING

WE CAN DO FOR YOU,
DON'T HESITATE TO ASK.

WELL, AS A MATTER
OF FACT, THERE IS.

MY GIRL'S COMING BY TO GET ME.

AND SHE'S MIGHTY IMPRESSED
THAT I'VE BEEN MEETING WITH YOU.

I MEAN, SHE READ ALL ABOUT YOU
IN THE SOCIETY COLUMNS AND STUFF.

SHE'S A BIG FAN.

IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND
JUST SAYING HELLO TO HER?

NOT AT ALL. SURE.

THANKS.

THERE SHE IS.

DARLENE, COME ON
OVER HERE. COME ON.

MEET JENNIFER AND JONATHAN HART.

FOLKS, THIS IS DARLENE.

HOW DO YOU DO? HOW DO YOU DO?

OH, BOY, IT'S SO
NICE TO MEET YOU.

I MEAN, WHEN JERRY
TOLD ME HE WAS HAVING

A DRINK WITH YOU, I
JUST DIDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I MEAN, RIGHT, JERRY?
WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE.

I MEAN, MOST OF THE TIME, HE JUST HAS
DRINKS AND STUFF WITH OTHER POLICEMEN

OR DISTRICT ATTORNEYS AND STUFF.

MAYBE WE COULD JUST...

I HAVE, LIKE, SO MANY
THINGS TO ASK YOU

LIKE WHO DOES YOUR HAIR
AND... AND... AND YOUR NAILS

AND... AND... AND WHO YOUR
FAVORITE DESIGNER IS AND...

OH, GOD, AND...

SHOULD WE MOVE OVER A LITTLE
BIT? MAYBE YOU COULD SIT DOWN.

AND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WORK WITH,
LIKE, ALL THOSE POLICEMEN AND STUFF

AND SOLVE THE CRIMES?

AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE
IT. MY GIRLFRIENDS

ARE JUST GONNA
DIE IF I TELL THEM...

OH, GOOD.

WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?

WOULD YOU LIKE A PLATE?

NO.

(Winslow) I NEVER
CEASE TO BE AMAZED

THAT PEOPLE
ACTUALLY BUY THIS JUNK.

AH, IT LOOKS OK TO
ME, MR. WINSLOW.

ASSEMBLY-LINE ART.

TAKES LESS THAN AN HOUR
TO PAINT ONE OF THESE.

I CAN UNDERSTAND
HOTELS BUYING THEM

BUT TO HANG THEM ON
THE WALLS OF ONE'S HOME...

OH, COME ON, YOU
OUGHT TO BE GLAD.

IT'S MADE YOU RICH ENOUGH
TO BUY THE REAL STUFF.

AH, YES.

THE LINES AT THE WINSLOW
ART MARTS STRETCH FOR MILES.

ANOTHER TESTAMENT TO HOW ONE CAN
BECOME RICH APPEALING TO BAD TASTE.

DIDN'T I PUT THE KELLER HERE,
THE PORTRAIT OF MRS. HART?

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS?

FROM THE SOCIETY COLUMN.

SHE AND HER HUSBAND ARE
FAVORITES OF THE LOCAL PAPARAZZI.

DIDN'T I PUT IT HERE?

YES, I SAW YOU DO IT.

PETERSON.

PETERSON!

WHAT IS IT?

HAVE YOU SEEN THE KELLER?

WHAT'S THAT?

THE PORTRAIT OF THE WOMAN.

OH, YEAH, THE GREAT-LOOKING ONE.

WHEN DID YOU START
APPRECIATING ART?

NOT THE PAINTING, THE DAME.

WHERE IS IT?

I SENT IT OUT.

YOU WHAT?

YEAH, WE HAD A DELIVERY
TO GANS ART SUPPLY TODAY.

SO I JUST GRABBED
A STACK OF PICTURES.

(Peterson) I THINK IT
WAS IN THAT STACK.

YOU SENT A WARREN
KELLER ORIGINAL TO BE HUNG

ON THE WALL OF AN
ART SUPPLY STORE?

I GUESS. I MEAN, THEY
ALL LOOK THE SAME TO ME.

[sighing]

LORD, HELP ME.

YOU WANT WE SHOULD GET IT BACK?

YES, I WANT YOU
SHOULD GET IT BACK.

IF GANS HUNG IT ALREADY, HE
MIGHT NOTICE IF IT DISAPPEARS.

THEN MAKE SURE HE CAN'T TELL
ANYONE WHERE IT CAME FROM.

IF THE POLICE MAKE
THE CONNECTION,

EVEN THEY WILL BE ABLE TO FIGURE
OUT WHO MURDERED WARREN KELLER.

GOT IT.

GOOD. GET IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT A MAN COULD DO IF
HE WANTED TO MAKE A LOT OF MONEY?

WHAT?

HE COULD OPEN UP
ICE CREAM STORES NEXT

TO JAPANESE RESTAURANTS.
HE'D MAKE A FORTUNE.

UMM, NEXT TO PIZZA PARLORS, TOO.

UH-UH, PEPPERONI AND
PEPPERMINT DOESN'T MIX.

WHY NOT?

YOU'RE HAVING
TEMPURA AND TOFFEE.

UM, HOLD IT.

THERE YOU ARE.

[exclaiming]

NOW THERE'S A PERFECT
COMBINATION: FLOWERS AND ICE CREAM.

HMM, A GALLERY.

SEE ANYTHING YOU LIKE?

(Jennifer) JONATHAN,
LOOK! THE PORTRAIT!

WHAT'S THAT DOING HERE?

LET'S ASK THE OWNER.

CLOSED.

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND
HIS HOME ADDRESS. COME ON.

(Jennifer) L.A. MOBILE?

I'D LIKE THE NUMBER FOR ELIOT
GANS IN LOS ANGELES, PLEASE.

NOT HIS GALLERY, HIS HOME.

COULD YOU ALSO
GIVE ME HIS ADDRESS?

YOU SURE THIS IS
THE RIGHT HOUSE?

HOW MANY ELIOT GANSES CAN
THERE BE IN THE PHONE BOOK?

[car tires screeching]

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YES, JUST A LITTLE SHAKEN.

COME ON.

[gasping]

I'M AFRAID WE'VE GOT
THE RIGHT ADDRESS.

[police car siren wailing]

(Patrol car) AMBULANCE
89 TO 7400 CLEMENT.

SO YOU JUST WALKED IN
AND DISCOVERED THE BODY?

RIGHT THEN WE CALLED THE POLICE.

I THINK IT'S SO WONDERFUL,
THE WAY YOU ASKED FOR JERRY.

OH, I HOPE WE DIDN'T
INTERRUPT ANYTHING.

NO, NOTHING AT ALL.

IT'S JUST THAT WE
THINK THIS IS TIED IN

WITH THE MURDER
OF WARREN KELLER.

BECAUSE OF A PICTURE
IN GANS' WINDOW? RIGHT.

UH, THAT WAS MY PORTRAIT THAT
WAS STOLEN FROM WARREN'S STUDIO.

WHAT WAS GANS DOING WITH IT?

THAT'S WHAT WE
WERE GONNA ASK HIM.

BOY, THIS IS REALLY
GETTING INVOLVED, ISN'T IT?

I MEAN, THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT CASE
YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT EARLIER.

DARLENE.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT
THE CONNECTION IS.

BUT IF WE COULD GET INTO HIS
STORE AND LOOK AT HIS RECORDS...

MAYBE THERE'S AN INVOICE THAT
CAN TELL US WHERE HE GOT IT.

FINE. I'LL SEND SOMEONE OVER
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

OH, NO, WE SHOULD GO RIGHT AWAY.

WE?

I THINK THEY'RE RIGHT, JERRY.

DARLENE.

EH, MR. HART, MRS. HART,

I APPRECIATE WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING. I REALLY DO.

BUT THERE'S A DEAD MAN ON THE
FLOOR BY THE NAME OF ELIOT GANS

AND I GOT A REPORT TO FILL OUT.

AND I'D LIKE TO GET
AN AUTOPSY ON GANS

AND BY THE TIME I
FINISH ALL OF THAT,

THERE'LL PROBABLY BE
NO TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE.

WELL, THE PROBLEM
IS, LIEUTENANT,

WE'RE AFRAID THAT
WHOEVER KILLED HIM

MIGHT GO AFTER THE
PORTRAIT RIGHT AWAY.

I MEAN, THERE MAY BE NO
TIME TO SPARE. THAT'S RIGHT.

SEE? DARLENE!

I TELL YOU WHAT, IF
YOU'RE THAT CONCERNED,

WHY DON'T YOU GO
SIT OUTSIDE THE STORE

UNTIL I SEND SOMEONE
OVER THERE TOMORROW?

I THINK YOU'RE BOTH VERY RIGHT.

I THINK WE'VE LOST AN ALLY.

WE SEEM TO HAVE THAT
EFFECT UPON POLICEMEN.

WHAT NOW?

WELL, HE DID SAY TO
GO BACK TO THE STORE.

I THINK HE WAS BEING
SARCASTIC, DARLING.

OH, REALLY? I DIDN'T NOTICE.

(Jonathan) I KNOW A SOLUTION
TO THE ENERGY CRISIS.

(Jennifer) WHAT?

HARNESS DARLENE'S ENTHUSIASM.

(Jennifer) IT'S GONE!

LET'S SEE IF THEY GOT A
BACK ENTRANCE TO THIS PLACE.

STAY BEHIND ME.

ALL RIGHT, UP AGAINST
THE WALL, THE BOTH OF YOU.

MOVE IT.

AND GET YOUR HANDS
ON TOP OF YOUR HEADS.

GO ON.

[yelling]

[groaning]

[exclaiming]

HI. HI.

DID THEY TAKE MY PAINTING? YEAH.

OH.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THAT MYSELF.

WE BETTER CALL THE POLICE.

BUT WHATEVER YOU
DO, DON'T CALL GILLIS.

YOU'RE SURE THIS IS THE
WOMAN IN GANS' STORE,

JENNIFER HART?

YEAH, I'M SURE.

SHE WAS WITH SOME GUY.

MAYBE THE GUY'S HER HUSBAND.

OH, PETERSON, YOUR
POWERS OF DEDUCTION

ARE A CONSTANT
SOURCE OF DELIGHT.

THIS REALLY CAN'T STAY HERE.

PUT IT AT THE WAREHOUSE.

BUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE
ARE GONNA BE THERE.

YOU KNOW, AT THE DANCE YOU'RE
THROWING, THE BOX ART BALL.

BEAUX ARTS.

NOBODY WILL SEE IT IF WE
LOCK IT AWAY IN A STORAGE BIN.

THANK YOU, CONWAY.

WELL, THIS MAY BE A
FASCINATING COINCIDENCE.

HOW'S THAT?

HERE WE HAVE THE LAST PAINTING

THAT WARREN KELLER EVER PAINTED.

AND IT MAY ALSO TURN OUT TO BE

THE LAST PORTRAIT THAT
MRS. HART EVER SITS FOR.

TO YOU, MRS. HART.

IT'S REALLY TERRIFIC. I REALLY
LIKE YOUR PAINTING. OH, THANK YOU.

BUT I THINK I'LL WAIT
TILL ANOTHER TIME

TO TRY TO INTEREST
YOU IN MY WORK.

YOU'VE BEEN SO NICE, BUYING
TICKETS FOR THE BEAUX ARTS BALL.

OH, DON'T BE SILLY. I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO GO TO ONE OF THOSE.

THERE YOU ARE.

ON BEHALF OF THE STARVING
ARTISTS' ASSOCIATION, I THANK YOU.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE A
STARVING ARTIST FOR VERY LONG.

LOOK AT THESE, DARLING.
AREN'T THEY GOOD?

OH, YEAH, THOSE ARE GOOD.

I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

AT THE MOMENT, I'M
MUDDLING THROUGH ON

A GRANT FROM THE
WINSLOW FOUNDATION.

WINSLOW. ROGER WINSLOW?

YEAH, YOU KNOW HIM?
OF THE ART MARTS.

YES, I'VE SEEN HIM ON TELEVISION
ADVERTISING ART BY THE YARD.

YEAH, BUT HE'S REALLY INTERESTED
IN THE FUTURE OF FINE ART.

IN FACT, HE DONATED HIS
WAREHOUSE FOR THE PARTY TONIGHT.

OH.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS,
DARLING? WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S THE BROCHURE FROM
LASLO MADDOX'S LAST SHOW.

THERE ARE SOME VERY INTERESTING
PRIVATE COLLECTORS IN THERE.

WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

THANKS AGAIN. THANK YOU.

WE'LL SEE YOU THERE.

GOODBYE.

JONATHAN? UH-HUH?

WHAT DID YOU FIND
THAT WAS SO INTERESTING

ABOUT THAT BROCHURE
ON LASLO MADDOX?

YOU KNOW THE
BROCHURE YOU GAVE ME

ON WARREN KELLER'S COLLECTION?

YOU MEAN HIS LAST SHOW?

YOU LEFT IT LYING ON
THE SEAT OF THE CAR.

I TOOK A LOOK AT IT.

AND?

I PUT IT IN THE
GLOVE COMPARTMENT.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK AT IT?

ALL RIGHT.

LOOK IN THE BACK UNDER
"PRIVATE COLLECTIONS."

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

YOU'LL SEE.

LET'S SEE. CHIKART
ANDERSON, HOUSTON, TEXAS.

DR. AND MRS. HAROLD BATES,
GROSSE POINT, MICHIGAN...

NOTICE ANYONE ELSE?

L, M, N, O...

NO.

OH, YES.

PIERSON, SANTA
MONICA, CALIFORNIA.

GO ON.

THERE'S MORE?

Q, R, S, T... U, V, W. WINSLOW.

ROGER.

ROGER WINSLOW?

UH-HUH.

WELL.

WHERE DO WE START FIRST?

HOW ABOUT ALPHABETICALLY?

YOU WANT ME TO CALL
INFORMATION IN SANTA MONICA?

YEAH.

HELLO, L.A. MOBILE.

(Jennifer) HOW'S THAT, OPERATOR?

YOU HAVE A LISTING
FOR WILBUR PIERSON'S

TRUCKING COMPANY
ON OIL SLICK ROAD?

I BOUGHT THOSE WARREN KELLERS
BEFORE ANYONE EVER HEARD OF HIM.

MUCH LESS BEFORE HE
UP AND KILLED HIMSELF.

I'D TAKE Y'ALL UP TO THE HOUSE,

BUT I'VE GOT 2 MECHANICS
OUT WITH THE FLU.

EXCUSE ME.

WOULD YOU HAND ME THAT LITTLE
CRESCENT WRENCH THERE, PLEASE, SIR?

ARE ALL YOUR PAINTINGS KELLERS?

HECK, NO.

I GOT A FEW OF THOSE
JACKSON POLLOCKS.

I BOUGHT THEM BEFORE
HE KILLED HIMSELF.

SAME WITH THE ROTHKOS.

DAMN. SAME WITH THE MADDOXES.

MR. PIERSON, YOU
SEEM TO HAVE A KNACK

FOR COLLECTING ARTISTS
WHO DIE PREMATURELY.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

IT'S GOT TO THE POINT
TO WHERE I THINK TWICE

BEFORE I EVEN BUY A NEW ARTIST.

IS THAT WHAT YOU SPECIALIZE IN?

YES, MA'AM,
DISCOVERING NEW TALENT.

WELL, THEY'RE GOOD INVESTMENTS.

UH-HUH. WELL, IF I'M GONNA
INVEST, I BUY REAL ESTATE.

I JUST LOVE BEING
RIGHT ABOUT NEW KIDS.

COURSE, WHEN THEY DIE THAT WAY,

IT DON'T HURT THE VALUE
OF THE PAINTINGS NONE.

THE PRICE JUST SKYROCKETS.

RIGHT AWAY.

YES, MA'AM. SUPPLY IS ENDED,
DEMAND JUST KEEPS GOING ON.

I COULD MAKE A BUNDLE OFF
THEM KELLERS IF I HAD A MIND TO.

WELL, Y'ALL EXCUSE ME.

WELL, I GUESS THE CONVERSATION
HAS ENDED. FOR NOW.

HEY!

WOULD YOU HAND ME THAT
SCREWDRIVER WITH THE RED HANDLE?

YOUR TURN. MY...

HERE YOU GO.

MUCH OBLIGED.

[tires screeching]

(Jonathan) IF PIERSON
IS A MURDERER,

HE'S THE MOST UP-FRONT
KILLER SINCE JAWS.

MAY I HELP YOU?

YES, WE'RE MR. AND
MRS. JONATHAN HART.

IS MR. WINSLOW IN?

DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?

NO, BUT WE THOUGHT
HE MIGHT SEE US ANYWAY.

DO YOU HAVE A CARD?

NO, I'M AFRAID NOT.

OH, HE HAS CARDS.

HE JUST NEVER
CARRIES THEM WITH HIM.

JUST LIKE HE NEVER
CARRIES ANY CASH.

WELL, I DON'T SUPPOSE IT MATTERS
WHETHER YOU'VE GOT IT ON YOU

JUST SO LONG AS YOU'VE GOT IT.

PLEASE WAIT HERE.

I'LL SEE IF MR. WINSLOW
IS AT HOME.

NO APPOINTMENT,
NO CARD, NO CASH.

WHAT'S THE WORLD COMING TO?

THERE'S A MADDOX, NAMELY LASLO.

AND HERE'S A KELLER,
NAMELY WARREN.

AND I'M WINSLOW, NAMELY ROGER.

HOW DO YOU DO, MR. WINSLOW?

I'VE SEEN YOU ON TELEVISION.

AND I'VE SEEN YOUR PICTURE
ON THE SOCIETY PAGE.

WON'T YOU COME INTO MY STUDY?

PLEASE.

PLEASE COME IN.

I SUPPOSE YOU'VE COME
ABOUT THE BEAUX ARTS BALL?

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

OH, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

THANK YOU.

MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

WELL,

CAN I OFFER YOU SOME
TEA? NO, THANK YOU.

NO, THANK YOU.

DRINK? NOTHING.

WELL, I'LL HAVE SOME TEA.

WHY DID YOU DROP
BY THIS AFTERNOON?

WE CAME TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT WARREN KELLER.

DID YOU KNOW HIM?

YES, WE WERE FRIENDS.

WE ALSO OWN SOME OF HIS WORKS.

NOT AS MANY AS
YOU DO, OF COURSE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW I
OWN KELLER'S WORK?

FROM THE BROCHURE
OF HIS LAST SHOW.

OH, YES. OF COURSE.

WE ALSO KNOW THAT YOU OWN A
GREAT DEAL OF LASLO MADDOX'S WORK.

FROM THE BROCHURE
OF HIS LAST SHOW.

YES.

YOU'RE TO BE
COMPLIMENTED, MR. WINSLOW.

REALLY, MR. HART?

WHY?

ON AFFORDING THE
PUBLIC THE CHANCE TO BUY

ORIGINAL ART AT SUCH
INEXPENSIVE PRICES.

THANK YOU, MR. HART.

SOME OF OUR YOUNGER ARTISTS WILL
PROVE THEMSELVES AND OTHERS WILL NOT.

THAT IS THE ONLY THING THE WINSLOW
ART MARTS CANNOT GUARANTEE.

MR. WINSLOW, YOU KNEW BOTH
OF THESE MEN PERSONALLY.

I DID.

DO YOU THINK THE FACT THAT
BOTH OF THEM DIED PREMATURELY

COULD POSSIBLY
HAVE ANY CONNECTION?

I CANNOT SEE ANY
POSSIBLE CONNECTION

BETWEEN 2 SUCH TRAGIC INCIDENTS.

WELL.

WELL, WE WON'T TAKE UP
ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME.

WE REALLY MUST GO, ANYWAY.

WE HAVE TO GET
READY FOR THE BALL.

OH, SO YOU'RE
PLANNING ON ATTENDING?

OH, YES. WOULDN'T
MISS IT FOR THE WORLD.

OH, HOW NICE. I LOOK
FORWARD TO SEEING YOU.

OH, THANK YOU.

I HOPE YOU'LL BE WEARING

SOMETHING COLORFUL.

OH, YES. SOMETHING IN
NEON WITH SPARKLERS.

I'M SURE YOU'LL STAND
OUT IN ANY CROWD.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL
WE TAKE OFF OUR MASKS TO FIND US.

BUT THAT'S NOT UNTIL MIDNIGHT.

AND THE SAD PART ABOUT THAT
IS IT WASTES HALF THE EVENING.

OH, BUT THINK OF ALL THE FUN
YOU'LL HAVE TRYING TO FIND US.

WELL, IF ONE MUST WAIT, I
SUPPOSE ONE MUST WAIT.

IS THAT YOUR CAR, MR. WINSLOW?

THE PANTHER, YES.

AH, IT'S LOVELY.

THANK YOU.

WELL.

BYE-BYE, MR. WINSLOW. THANK YOU.

SEE YOU THIS EVENING.

WE'RE SEEING A LOT OF
THEM ALL OF A SUDDEN.

YES, BUT AFTER TONIGHT, NO ONE
WILL BE SEEING THEM ANYMORE.

IT WILL BE A RATHER
UNPLEASANT END TO THE BALL

BUT CERTAINLY A SPECTACULAR ONE.

[crickets chirping]

YOU SEE, I DIDN'T MAKE
THE CONNECTION AT FIRST.

AND THEN ALL OF A
SUDDEN, BINGO! IT HIT ME.

I REMEMBERED SEEING THAT
CAR IN FRONT OF KELLER'S STUDIO.

DARLING, MAYBE HE JUST
STOPPED BY FOR A VISIT.

OR MAYBE HE STOPPED
BY TO KILL KELLER.

BUT WHY? I DON'T KNOW.

BUT IT ALL SEEMS A LITTLE
TOO COINCIDENTAL FOR ME.

BECAUSE HIS CAR WAS THERE?

THAT AND BECAUSE

WINSLOW WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST
COLLECTORS OF MADDOX AND KELLER

BOTH OF WHOM DIED IN ACCIDENTS
AND BOTH OF WHOM WERE JUST

ON THE VERGE OF BECOMING FAMOUS.

YOU'RE RIGHT. IT IS
TOO COINCIDENTAL.

WHY WOULD THEY
WANT TO KILL THEM?

WILBUR PIERSON.

WILBUR PIERSON. THEY WANTED TO
KILL THEM BECAUSE OF WILBUR PIERSON.

NO, NO, NO. BUT DON'T
YOU REMEMBER WHAT

WILBUR PIERSON SAID
ABOUT HIS PAINTINGS?

WHAT DID HE SAY?

HOW THE PRICES KEPT GOING
UP WHEN THE PAINTERS DIED?

SO?

SO WHAT IF WINSLOW
COLLECTED THE WORK

OF TALENTED UNKNOWNS
AND THEN HE KILLED THEM?

HE'D STAND TO MAKE A FORTUNE.

YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING? WHAT?

DON'T GO TO THE
POLICE WITH THIS THEORY.

THEY'RE LIABLE TO
THROW AN EASEL AT YOU.

OH.

[knocking on door]

MR. H? YES, MAX.

(Jennifer) COME ON IN.

THE HOLLYWOOD COSTUME COMPANY
DELIVERED YOUR MASKS FOR THE PARTY.

OH, GREAT. I WONDER
WHAT THEY SENT.

OH, HERE.

WHERE DO THEY GET ALL
THAT STUFF FROM, MR. H?

OLD MOVIE COSTUMES, MAX.

HEY, THERE'S A TAG IN THIS
ONE. WHAT DOES YOURS SAY?

"MR. CLAUDE RAINS, PHANTOM OF
THE OPERA, UNIVERSAL PICTURES."

(Jennifer) OH, LISTEN TO THIS:

"MISS NORMA SHEARER, MARIE
ANTOINETTE, MGM STUDIOS."

I REMEMBER THAT.

THAT'S THE ONE WHERE
SHE GOT HER HEAD CUT OFF.

WELL, I HOPE HISTORY
DOESN'T REPEAT ITSELF.

♪ [Hot Stuff playing]

[crowds cheering]

♪ WAITIN' FOR SOME
LOVER TO CALL ♪

♪ DIALED ABOUT A
THOUSAND NUMBERS LATELY ♪

♪ ALMOST RANG THE
PHONE OFF THE WALL ♪

♪ LOOKIN' FOR SOME HOT
STUFF, BABY, THIS EVENIN' ♪

♪ I NEED SOME HOT
STUFF, BABY, TONIGHT ♪

♪ I WANT SOME HOT
STUFF, BABY, THIS EVENIN' ♪

♪ GOTTA HAVE SOME HOT STUFF ♪

♪ GOTTA HAVE LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ I NEED HOT STUFF ♪

DARLING, THIS IS A
BLACK-AND-WHITE BALL.

SO I NOTICED.

I COMPLETELY FORGOT.

BECAUSE PAINTERS PAINT IN COLOR,

IT'S TRADITIONAL THAT THEY
GIVE A BLACK-AND-WHITE BALL.

♪ LOOKIN' FOR A LOVER
WHO NEEDS ANOTHER ♪

♪ DON'T WANT ANOTHER
NIGHT ON MY OWN ♪

♪ WANNA SHARE MY LOVE
WITH A WARM-BLOODED LOVER ♪

♪ WANNA BRING A
WILD MAN BACK HOME ♪

♪ GONNA HAVE SOME HOT
STUFF, BABY, THIS EVENING ♪

LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK.

GOOD IDEA.

♪ I WANT SOME HOT
STUFF, BABY, THIS EVENIN' ♪

WHAT SOME PEOPLE
WILL DO FOR ATTENTION.

♪ GOT TO HAVE LOVE TONIGHT ♪

♪ I NEED HOT STUFF ♪

♪ HOT LOVE ♪

♪ LOOKIN' FOR HOT LOVE ♪

♪ SOME HOT STUFF,
BABY, THIS EVENIN'? ♪

♪ I NEED SOME HOT
STUFF, BABY, TONIGHT ♪

TO YOU.

AND TO YOU.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

WELL, IF IT ISN'T
THE LADY IN RED.

YES, I SUPPOSE I DO
STAND OUT IN THE CROWD.

THAT IS YOU, ISN'T IT, SCOTTY?

OH, MY COVER BLOWN AGAIN.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
CHAMPAGNE? THANKS.

HERE'S TO YOU, TO YOUR SUCCESS.

AND TO YOUR HEALTH.
THANK YOU BOTH.

CHEERS.

WHERE DID MR. WINSLOW
PUT ALL THE PAINTINGS?

OH, THEY'RE ALL STORED AWAY
IN BINS BEHIND THE CURTAINS.

(man) COME ON,
SCOTTY, LET'S DANCE.

EXCUSE ME.

BYE.

WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER
GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE?

NO, THANK YOU, DARLING.

HEY, BUDDY, WATCH
WHO YOU'RE PUSHING

OR I'LL HOIST YOU ON MY PETARD.

BELIEVE ME, SIR, I
NEVER TOUCHED YOU.

I JOUST YOU NOT.

THEN WHO PUT THIS
DENT IN MY CHEST PLATE?

NO WONDER WINSLOW
WANTED YOU TO WEAR

SOMETHING COLORFUL.
YOU'RE A MOVING TARGET.

[gun firing]

[bullets firing]

JONATHAN.

WHY DOESN'T THIS
PAINTING EVER TURN UP

UNDER MORE PLEASANT
CIRCUMSTANCES?

WELL, THAT CERTAINLY CLEARS UP
EXACTLY WHO DID WHAT TO WHOM.

THAT DOESN'T DO US ANY GOOD NOW.

DARLING, YOU WAIT HERE.

♪ [music playing]

[grunting]

JONATHAN!

[people screaming]

HEY, HOLD THIS ROPE.

[gun fires]

[people screaming]

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.

I WAS THINKING MORE OF
"ME TARZAN, YOU JANE." HMM?

(Jennifer) OH, IT'S
GOOD TO BE HOME.

[sighing]

GET THESE SHOES
OFF. OH, MY FEET.

WELL, MRS. H, I
WOULD CERTAINLY SAY

THAT WE GOT OUR MONEY'S WORTH.

I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING.

IF THAT'S WHAT'S TO BE EXPECTED
FROM THE BEAUX ARTS BALL,

LET'S NOT GO NEXT YEAR.

OH.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEVER GOT A
CHANCE TO DO IN ALL THE COMMOTION?

WHAT WAS THAT?

WE NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO DANCE.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HMM.

UNLESS YOU COUNT THAT TARANTELLA

WE WERE DOING UP ON THE CATWALK.

OH.

BUT THAT WASN'T WITH YOU. AWW.

[sighing]

NOW WE DON'T EVEN
HAVE THE MUSIC.

I'VE GOT AN IDEA. HMM?

THEY DIDN'T NEED
MUSIC IN THOSE MOVIES.

WHAT MOVIES?

YOU KNOW, THE ONES WHERE THE BOY

WOULD LOOK AT THE
GIRL RIGHT IN THE EYES.

LIKE YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME? YEAH.

AND THEY'D SAY, "I LOVE YOU."

AH, YES, IT'S ALL
COMING BACK TO ME.

AND THE MUSIC WOULD SWELL.

AND THEY'D START TO DANCE.

[sighing]

[laughing]