Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 4, Episode 5 - Bar-Be-Q Burritos - full transcript

I wasn't the only person
who went to the dock that night

to tell you that they love
you. Lavon was there, too.

I may have told him I'm
still in love with him.

- Are you?
- Yes.

If there weren't an A.B.,

would there be a chance

that you would ever
reciprocate my feelings?

It doesn't matter, 'cause there is an A.B.,

and there will always be an A.B.

Please give us another chance.

In other news, Wade
and I are back together.



- And, also, I'm pregnant.
- (gasping) What?

Bill: How y'all gonna manage?

Sadie: Are you guys
getting married, or what?

Where y'all gonna live?

One of you's gonna have
to give up your job.

Sadie: Private school or public?

All right, all right, all
right. I got this, Doc.

Why don't you all slow down.

- (excited chatter)
- I'm so excited about the baby.

(excited chatter continues)

(squawking)

Damn.

Hey, Wade.

Okay. So...



Here we go.

"Things to get done
before the baby arrives."

"Number one: make a list
of things to get done."

Well, you can check that off the list.

Boom.

"Number two: buy comfortable
yet stylish maternity outfits."

And look at me.

Wow, look at this.

Those look comfortable and cozy

while maintaining a, uh, certain flair.

Thanks.

"Number three:

find a new place to live."

I hate number three.

Yeah.

Yeah, me, too.

But, uh, look, we
discussed this, all right?

There just, there isn't room
at either of our places for...

For a-a baby.

Yeah, it's just...

the idea of leaving Lavon's, you know?

The kitchen, the pastries.

- The Lavon.
- I know.

I know, but we have to, all right?

P-Please don't cry.

The hormones, Wade, I have hormones!

Do you think we could afford a new place?

Of course.

Yeah, I mean, look at you.

You're a successful doctor.

Me, I own a... slammin'
dining establishment.

An empty...

slammin' dining establishment.

Where is everyone?

Morning.

Why don't you ask Shula?

Shula, what is that?

Pork butt burrito.

From where?

(excited chattering)

Prizzi: Fresh pork burritos!

Patty: Pork butt burritos!

Get your fresh pork butts!

Best barbecue in Alabama, right here!

The Pritchett sisters have a food truck?

Patty: Hey, Wade!

Hey, Dr. Hart!

Why are you two standing way back there?

Yeah, come on over and get
in line before we sell out!

This is bad. No, no. Zoe, look.

This is just a novelty, all right?

People are just checking it out.

Don't worry your, uh,
hormonal little head about it.

It's too late.

Zoe, it's gonna be fine.

Just run along to work, all right?

I'll see you later.

Okay. Okay.

All right.

Hey, Wanda,

we need to have a meeting, pronto.

I'm on it!

(car horn honks)

(seagulls calling)

(birds singing)

Annabeth: So, I have a problem.

As do I.

But I don't think it's the same problem.

Okay. Well, what's yours?

Jaysene is taking me to a gay bar tonight,

and I have no idea what to wear.

It's... different problem.

What's your problem?

I want to go back to school.

Nursing school.

What a great idea, AnnaBeth.

Yeah... but I don't know
how I'm gonna pay for it.

Well, I know how.

Sell Jake's boat.

(laughing): You mean the one
that George Tucker lives on?

Yes, the one that you own.

I heard Wally is in the
market for a second home.

You can sell it to him.

No... I can't just displace George.

He is your tenant.

You are his landlord.

Or, lake-lord.

It's business.

Haven't you ever seen Shark Tank?

In order to succeed in
business, you have to be tough.

Cold!

Like a shark!

Ooh, maybe that's why
they call it Shark Tank.

Hmm.

Lavon: Lemon, Lemon, Lemon.

I bump into her everywhere.

She's even in my dreams, Zoe.

Like last night, I dreamt that it was

the first day of school.

But it wasn't school.

It was a, uh, mini-golf course.

And on the ninth hole,
Lemon's laying there.

And instead of hitting the
ball into the clown's nose,

you had to hit the ball into...

Ew. Stop. Ugh. God.

Lavon, you are Lavon freakin' Hayes, okay?

You do not pine.

You're a mayor. A hunky mayor.

A football hero.

I don't know about "hero."

Dr. Hart.

Hey there, boss!

I am loving that shirt on you! (whoops)

What do you want?

What? Nothing.

I am just super-excited about your shirt.

And all the awesome doctoring
I'm going to do today.

Well, great, 'cause I'm going out now,

and good luck holding down the fort.

Lavon.

Zoe: Oh, I'm gonna hold down this fort.

The fort's not gonna know what... held it.

Uh...

He's gone.

What was that?

I need to convince
Brick to give me a raise.

The Pritchetts' pork
butts are pork-butting

into business at the Rammer Jammer.

And a baby? Not cheap.

Not even a little bit cheap.

W-Well, hey!

I mean, you guys get to stay
rent-free forever, right?

Oh... what's happening right now?

It's the hormones.

So many hormones.

(sniffles)

Lavon, you're the best.

You're a catch.

You're never gonna get
over Lemon unless you try.

You know, you got to
just get back out there!

I need you to be happy, Lavon!

Oh-ho.

Okay.

I'm happy.

(wails) Oh...

It looks wonderful, Lemon. Wonderful!

Thank you, Daddy.

I went with the brighter
color palette this time

just to keep the place
more lively, you know?

You seem pretty lively. You okay?

Yes, well I, uh, had a...

few extra coffees more than usual.

I haven't been sleeping so well.

Really? Wh-What's wrong?

Oh, you know. Romantic troubles.

You are not seeing that
Meatball again, are you?

No, it's not Meatball.

The shame, Lemon.

Remember the shame that you and I,

and Southwestern Alabama,

all felt last time?

Daddy, it is not Meatball.

Put him out of your mind.

A-And just... get back out there,

a-and meet new people.

I read in the paper

that they are having a-a singles hoedown

in-in Mobile tonight.

I think that you have confused me

with some sort of
washed-up shut-in, Daddy.

I know who you are.

You are a beautiful,
successful restaurateur,

who would never lose sleep over a man.

Now, come on.

Get back out there, darling.

I know it seems kind of bad.

Kind of?

Business has dropped
16 percent in two weeks.

That burrito is gross anyway.

Wanda, you are right.

This burrito is amazing.

My stomach is singing

with a mariachi band.

Maybe you should shake things up.

You know what we need, we need...

We need a big event with a hot performer.

Someone to bring people back in,

remind them what they liked
about us in the first place.

The food, the ambiance,
the vibe, live music.

I could ask my cousin.

Who's your cousin?

Pamela Bailey.

She's on tour in Birmingham right now.

What? Do I got pork butt Pon my face?

Wade: How have you never mentioned

that your cousin is a
superstar country musician?

I don't know who all your cousins are.

Well, can you introduce me?

Could you give me free beer for a month?

Hi, George.

Wow.

The place looks very, um...

(clattering)

lived in.

Extremely lived in.

Yeah, the, uh, Truitts were
over here rehearsing earlier,

and making a mess is part of their...

creative process, I guess. I don't know.

What can I do you for, A.B.?

Well, I have a certain, uh, matter

I have to discuss with you.

Is this a Lemon-related matter?

What? No, it has nothing to do with...

Oh, okay.

Because usually when you
come over to talk to me,

it has something to do with Lemon.

Some scheme or shenanigan or the like.

But, you know what, you can just tell her

that I'm not interested this time.

I have my hands full
with the Truitts as it is.

It has nothing to do with Lemon.

I'm here because... (clears throat)

I need to sell this houseboat.

Uh...

My houseboat?

Uh, well, technically it's mine.

But of course, uh, you
will have a few weeks

before you need to find
a new place to live.

Can we at least sit down and
have a discussion about this?

No, there's nothing to discuss.

Um, it's not personal.

It's just, you know.

It's business.

Business?

Yeah.

It's... it's business.

Yeah, business.

Okay, what exactly does "business" mean?

Look, George, I already
have an interested buyer,

and we're gonna be coming by tonight,

so if you could make the place
look a little less lived in,

I'd really appreciate it.

Caller: ♪ Come on
ladies, come on guys ♪

♪ Loosen those limbs,
and don't be shy ♪

♪ You know the moves,
you've learned them well ♪

♪ Let's mix it on up,
and see who'll gel ♪

♪ Ace of diamonds, jack of spades... ♪

And so that's the main reason
I still live with my mama.

Oh, she sounds lovely.

Ah, she is. She's a doll.

In fact, she's right over there. Mama!

Look at me, I'm dancing!

Wave to Mama.

Mama likes you.

You don't happen to have any,
uh, dental floss, would ya?

It's just corn,

and I-I knew I shouldn't
have had corn in the car,

'fore I came in.

I love soup. Clam chowder's my favorite.

New England clam chowder,

Manhattan clam chowder,

and Rhode Island clam chowder,

which despite a common misperception...

I'm Todd, I design Web sites.

Mostly about my alien abduction.

Caller: ♪ Now everyone... switch ♪

♪ And switch ♪

♪ Move on down the line ♪

Lemon?

Lavon?

Lemon Breeland at a singles hoedown?

Now, I never thought
I'd live to see that day.

I think that it's good for both of us.

Well, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Caller: Let's sidestep.

Time to forget all the silly silliness

and find our life partners.

Although, I must admit that
the pool here is a little...

- Crazypants?
- Yes!

My last partner only talked about soup.

My last partner only spoke in pig Latin.

Caller: Now let's switch.

And switch.

Move on down the line.

Good luck. Stay strong.

♪ And a-do-si-do your partner ♪

Do you like ficuses?

Uh, I have 12.

And a betta fish.

(laughs) You expect me

to play at a place
called the Rammer Jammer?

Well, it's small, but it
fits a lot of excited fans.

More glitter on my cleavage.

Sorry, I can't do it.

Oh, you owe me, Pam!

Remember when you got drunk
on Uncle Larry's bourbon

and you broke Grandma Nettie's

priceless antique vase?

I took all the heat for you.

That was 20 years ago!

So? Your mom would still be pissed

if she found out. I will call her, Pam!

Don't you think I won't!

Wade: Okay, thank you, Meatball.

I don't think blackmail is necessary.

Uh, look, I-I know it's
a lot to ask, but...

You know what? I wish I could help.

Oh, you are cute.

But I can't. I have shows
lined up almost every night.

Can't squeeze another one in.

I'm exhausted.

Well, see, that is exactly

where we can help you.

Because BlueBell is the
perfect place to relax,

unwind, refresh, rejuvenate.

We've got charming townspeople,

a gazebo, a bakery,
bed-and-breakfast...

Oh!

Did you say bed-and-breakfast?

I do love

bed-and-breakfasts.

Well, then you are going
to love the Whippoorwill

which is adorable and charming.

And I can get you the
best room in the place.

Come, stay, kick your shoes off,

relax.

Ooh, small place might be nice.

Reconnect with my core fans. Mm-hmm.

Fine. One night.

But this B and B better
be as good as advertised.

Better. I guarantee it.

Plus, there's this amazing food truck.

(chuckles)

I can't bet eve how cruddy this day is!

How am I supposed to convince
Brick to give me a raise

when my only patient today
was a case of pinkeye?

Hey! It's a bad case.

And I don't understand.

If you want a raise so bad,

why don't you just ask Dr. Breeland?

Tonya, when you're an
adult you'll understand

that you can't just
ask someone for a raise.

Why not?

It takes timing, tact, finesse.

You know, you got to wow them,

so it's impossible for them to say no.

Which Brick loves to say.

It might be his favorite word... ever.

You know, is it too much to ask

for just one medical emergency?

You know a-a rare illness?

A blunt force trauma? An outbreak?

Dr. Hart?

Are you crying?

(crying): I don't even know anymore!

Excuse me, are you the doctor?

Yes!

Uh, yes.

What seems to be the problem?

We're in town for a few days
on a cross-country honeymoon,

and we just keep getting
these red bumps all over us!

Bedbugs!

Yup, definitely bedbug bites.

Where are you two staying?

I mean, I don't want to
be the only one in a dress!

Yes, I want to stand out, but
in the correct, lesbian way.

- Mm-hmm.
- So, what do you think?

Should I go with all
leather, a nice pantsuit

or... jeans?

Oh, jeans? You've never worn jeans.

I know! Wally?

- What do you think?
- How should I know?

I never dressed up for
a lesbian bar before.

(sighs)

Ah, this kind of thing is exactly

why I need a weekend place.

- Mm-hmm.
- Peace and quiet.

No one to bother me.

Yup. Well, here we are.

Yeah, this place does
seem kind of tranquil.

Mm-hmm.

(bluegrass music playing nearby)

Wait...

What's that noise?

(clears throat) Well, well, well.

Crickett, Wally, welcome
to AnnaBeth's houseboat,

come on up and take a look!

George, what have you...?

Wally, these are the Truitts.

They are thinking about
buying the houseboat next door.

Annabeth: Nope! No!

That is not true!

Um, this is just a big misunderstanding.

Wally: Maybe so. Uh...

Are you or are you not trying to sell me

a floating trailer home
filled with garbage?

Well... (Wally laughing)

Uh... Good to see you, Wally, as always.

Crickett. (laughs)

(clears throat)

George Tucker, I always
knew that you were immature.

But I never thought that
you would stoop this low!

Okay, well, AnnaBeth, what
did you expect me to do?

I've been living here for years,
you show up out of the blue

trying to kick me out because
of one of your famous whims?

It is not a whim!

I am trying to sell this houseboat

so I can afford to go to nursing school!

Well...

I... didn't know that!

Why didn't you tell me that?!

Because I didn't want

to make a big fuss!

It is scary stepping
outside your comfort zone,

but I'm gonna do it!

Because I think there is
more to life than being

some small town receptionist!

AnnaBeth, look, I am so sorry.

Forget it, George!

Enjoy your raccoon-infested,

garbage-filled

houseboat.

♪ ♪

Enough!

Hey, Dash, thanks again
for making this work

on such short notice.

Well, it is my honor, Wade.

Do you know I have been waiting for a star

of Pamela Bailey's magnitude to stay

at the Whippoorwill for years!

We've been shut down!

"Shut down"?!

By whom?!

♪ ♪

So, you taking a break?

(quiet laugh) A break would imply

that I'm going back out there.

(laughs) But...

at least there's whiskey.

Oh, thank goodness for that.

Uh, you know, my last
dance partner proposed.

- What?
- Yeah. Right after the do-si-do.

Oh, my God.

Well, you are a football-playing mayor.

Yeah. And when I said no,

she just stared at me.

And then she asked me if we
could have a spring wedding.

So it's possible

that I am engaged now.

Ah, well, congratulations.

(laughs): Yeah. (laughs)

Well, let's face it, Lavon.

We don't exactly live in a town

conducive to meeting new people.

Oh, true.

There's hardly a woman in three counties

that hasn't dated George or Wade.

(groans)

I bet it would be so much easier
if we lived in New York City.

I bet single people run smack
into each other all the time.

On the subway, in the park...

on the top of the Empire State Building.

Yeah, I-I think that last one
only happens in the movies.

Mm, yeah, well, possibly.

But you certainly don't
have to worry about running

into the love of your life
at a hoedown two towns over.

Lemon Breeland?

Are you saying I'm the love of your life?

Who says I was talking about you?

Maybe I was talking about the soup guy.

Oh.

(laughing)

Oh, look, L-Lemon?

Now, look, our current
situation isn't good for anyone.

Something has to change.

Yes.

We do.

(door opens)

You walk in and there are
just pastries everywhere.

Where do they come from?

We're never gonna find
a new place that comes

with its own pastry elves.

Well, thanks to you, we're never
gonna find a new place period.

What did I do?

You shut down the Whippoorwill!

Yes. Because there were bedbugs.

Zoe, a relaxing stay

at the Whippoorwill was the only way

we were gonna get Pamela Bailey to perform

at the Whippoorwill at the Rammer Jammer.

She arrives tonight!

Pamela Bailey is coming
to the Rammer Jammer?

I love her!

Her music is so good!

Are you even listening to me?

We need

to reopen that
bed-and-breakfast.

Okay, I'll-I'll figure something out.

I promise I will fix this.

Lavon?

(grunts)

Morning, Lavon.

Oh, no!

No! Don't hug me.

Don't hug me.

What'd she do to you?

I took her advice, went to
a singles hoedown in Mobile.

Guess who was there, too?

- No way.
- Oh, no.

Oh, yes! Lemon.

Lemon was there.

What happened?

Nothing good.

I'll fix that, too!

Ooh!

There she is.

Dash DeWitt's enemy numero uno.

Right. You know, about
that whole bedbug scare

last night? It's possible

that I may have acted irrationally.

Pregnancy hormones, am I right?

No, you didn't act irrationally.

- I didn't?
- No! Not at all.

In-in fact, I think
congratulations are in order.

- They are?
- The state

medical examiner called earlier.

He said that you may have averted

a statewide bedbug crisis.

- I did?
- Yeah.

Wow!

- Can I have a raise?
- Oh, goodness.

No.

You didn't even pause to think.

You know, you could at
least freaking pause!

No.

Okay... let's see if we can squeeze

an idea out of here.

Oh!

Can't believe that worked.

Morning, A.B.

Enjoying your cruellers?

So many cruellers there.

It's cruller, George.

Cruller, not crueller.

Are you sure?

- 'Cause I-I think...
- Yes! I am sure!

Trust me, I eat enough of them.

And today is a big cruller day

because of your hijinks last night.

Yeah, that's... that's why...

I came by this morning.

I-I wanted to apologize for that.

I acted rudely and immaturely.

And, uh, I just wanted to

also let you know that

I think it's great that
you're going back to school.

You're gonna make a fantastic nurse.

Well, thank you.

So you're moving out of my houseboat?

Actually,

I was hoping that we could

chat about that a little bit?

You know, maybe figure something out so...

I knew it!

I have known you

your whole life, George Tucker,

and I know when you're trying to

work a woman over to get what you want.

No, no. No, no, no.

I am not working you over,

AnnaBeth. I swear.

You-you said something last night,

about wanting to try new things.

And I get that.

I mean, I feel the exact same way.

(laughing): I mean, how else

could you explain me managing
the Truitts, of all people?

Well... I mean, they must be talented,

'cause they're a handful.

They are a handful.

Mm-hmm. But they are also

surprisingly talented.

Oh, well, your manage-ee, Rudy Truitt,

came in the other day

after he got bit by his pet raccoon Reba.

And he was convinced

that he was turning into

a were-raccoon. Oh, no!

Yes. Oh, I thought those
dark circles under his eyes

were just from lack of sleep.

Annabeth: No, but he does
kind of smell like a trash can.

George: Well, he kind
of lives in one, so...

Oh! (both laughing)

It's probably easy for him

to catch something like that. Yes.

What are you two laughing about?

Were-raccoons!
Were-raccoons!

(AnnaBeth and George laughing)

I didn't realize you two were so chummy.

- Oh, we're not chummy.
- George: No, no.

AnnaBeth is actually trying
to evict me right now.

Yeah.

That's because George is a squatter

and ruined the sale of my houseboat.

Mm-hmm.

Cruller?

Crueller,

and don't mind if I do.

Oh. Which one...

which one would you recommend?

They're all good.

Oh, yeah? Really.

I like cruellers.

(door opens)

Lavon!

Hey. Hi.

Okay, so I know that you had a rough night,

but I also know that
nothing cures the blues

like a good old country song, right?

Right?

Crazy pregnant lady,

what are you going on about?

(people shouting)

Zoe, please tell me you got
that bed-and-breakfast reopened.

No, but I may have found another one.

Seriously? How the hell
we gonna pull that off?

And here we are.

The charmingest B and B in all of Alabama.

- Pamela: Ooh, it's big.
- That's a lot of luggage.

Be cool, man. It's much
bigger than I expected.

Uh, meet our proprietors.

Ooh.

Uh, welcome to the Whippoorwill.

Where your-your comfort
is our greatest desire.

Delighted to have you all.

It is adorable!

Okay, please take the bags

upstairs and unpack them.

Everything in the leopard suitcases

needs to be dry-cleaned, everything in

the red suitcases needs to be hung.

Say what, now?

Zoe: Uh, don't worry about it.

The rest of our, uh, staff

will get that for you.

Staff!

Uh-huh. There they go.

Good work, staff.

I-It's just for

24 hours, one day. I swear.

Do it for-for Wade.

For the Rammer Jammer.

For my unborn child.

Who we're gonna name Lavon.

Boy or girl.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

So I decided to give free
ice cream with the flu shots.

And I know it was a crazy idea,

and actually, it worked!

Well, sometimes the craziest ideas

are the most brilliant ones.

Oh, my. I think I smell a scheme coming.

Oh, yes.

A scheme to bring two
unexpected people together.

And I will find happiness
in other people's love.

Now, who is the target of
your arrow, there, Cupid?

George and AnnaBeth.

Oh, that is preposterous!

Daddy, the heart wants what it wants.

Exactly.

Not what you tell it to.

Now, Lemon, what is really going on here?

Excuse me, I have to go
talk to Sal about something.

Bye!

Hey, Sal!

Sal... Lemon.

Hello.

George: So the gig is at 8:00.

Make sure you're there early to...

A "gig" is a "show."

No, a "gig" and a "show"
are the same thing.

Just tell Rocket a gig and a show

are the same thing... Rudy,
do not put him on the...

I have another call.

- (clears throat)
- (phone beeps)

What's up, Lemon?

What's up, George Tucker,

is that I have the perfect solution

to your houseboat dilemma.

What kind of solution?

Why don't we meet tomorrow for
breakfast and I'll tell you?

- Well, why tomorrow?
- What is going on?

You know, this feel like
one of your tricks.

I smell a shenanigan a mile away.

Okay, do you want your
houseboat back or not?

- Annabeth: Yes!
- George: Yes!

See you tomorrow.

So Sal the Shrimp Guy wants
to buy Jake's houseboat?

Lemon: Yes.

So I overheard him say

that he was looking for
real estate investments.

So I suggested the boat,
and he said that he is in.

- Oh!
- And even better yet,

George, he said that he wants
to rent it to you, same as A.B.

Oh! Oh, Lemon!

Oh, it's perfect.

- Thank you!
- Of course!

George: Yes, thank you so much.

But why couldn't you just
tell us this last night?

Well...

because I have a favor to ask.

Uh-huh.

As both of you know,

I've been stressing out about

the reopening of Fancie's,
particularly the menu.

And I was hoping, as my closest friends,

that you'd be willing
to come over this evening

for a sample meal.

Hmm.

I knew she wanted something.

Yeah, of course she did.

All you had to do was ask.

But of course I will.

Oh, thank you.

Me, too. But AnnaBeth's right.

Next time, just... ask us.

You know? Not everything
has to be a big scheme.

You know, George, that's
really good advice.

Thank you.

So I'll see you at 8:00?

Oh, and, um... dress real nice.

I want to get a...

you know, feel for the romance.

Okay!

See you at 8:00.

George: Why do I feel like

the scheming is not over yet?

Because it's Lemon Breeland?

- Ah.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Zoe: I hope that these

are enough knickknacks.

You know, B and Bs, they
always have knickknacks.

And maps. Do you have any maps?

Can't you see I'm busy?

Making that crazy diva a crazy smoothie.

With sunflower seeds,
grape seed, flax seeds...

I just filled my blender
with a bunch of damn seeds!

I'm sorry, Lavon, but it's just for...

One day,

yeah, I know.

This concert tonight better be profitable.

Mr. Hayes,

your place is magic!

Everything is just perfect.

Except for a few things.

I would like a sound machine,

cashmere slippers,

potpourri that skews
a little less lavender,

a little more chamomile.

Oh, and that electric

toothbrush was so thoughtful, but my gums

are sensitive, so I'd love
one of those hotel dental kits

with the tiny toothbrush

and little itty-bitty toothpaste in it.

Is that all?

Oh, and I'll take my smoothie
out by the lake in 25.

Thanks.

- (mumbling)
- I know, I know, I know...

but I promise it'll all be over soon.

Okay?

Who knows?

You might even miss her when she's gone.

Because this is a huge house,

and you could always have people here.

Staying.

Because that way you would
never, ever be lonely.

Ever.

You and Wade are moving out?

I've been meaning to tell you, Lavon.

I'm so sorry.

You know? But there's
just no room for the baby,

and all the baby's stuff,

and me, and Wade, and... I'm sorry.

I see.

And this is our

winter squash ratatouille

- with hollandaise sauce.
- Mmm.

Well, it looks delicious.

Yeah. I gotta say, everything has been

fantastic tonight, Lemon, and I am sure

that Fancie's is going to
be a... just a huge success.

Oh, thank you.

Well, you both have exquisite taste buds

and despite how much you've
both grown and changed

over the years, I knew
I could count on you.

Okay, what is going on with you?

(laughing)

What's so funny?

Oh, it's just that we've all
known each other for so long.

Do you remember that trip in tenth grade,

when we went on that fly-fishing trip?

And you threw your line and got it caught

in George's pant leg, and you thought

you'd made a big catch?

I knew it! I knew it!

Knew what?

This is exactly like
when we went fly-fishing.

You have always tried to get
AnnaBeth and I to be closer,

so we can be this tight little trio.

Not again!

I mean, when are you gonna stop doing that?

And that's why we're here.

This is a scheme within a scheme!

Mm-hmm! Lemon: Okay, well, excuse me

for wanting the two of you

to see in each other what I do. Okay?

Oh! Do you remember
that time she got us lost

in the woods looking for firewood

and tried to get us to bond

over our hatred of our history teacher?

(laughing): I do. I do.

Do you remember the time
that she "accidentally"

locked us in the janitor's
closet at school together?

That was... (laughs)
You can be so annoying.

So freaking annoying.

Incredibly annoying.

Yes, I can be annoying, can't I?

Oh! Oh, God. You know, I forgot...

Uh, the wine opener broke.

So I will be back in a minute. Okay.

Uh, dessert will be right out.

Yeah, sure, we'll be here.

Yeah, yeah. See you in a few.

Oh, what about that
time she made us perform

her terrible one-act play?

Lavon: Little itty-bitty...

little itty-bitty dental kit

with, ah, the little

itty-bitty

toothpaste, itty-bitty...

Itty-bitty.

Lemon Breeland.

Lavon...

Well, funny running into you

in the teensy tiny small
town where we both live.

Hmm, well, I sense some
sarcasm in your tone.

You sense correctly.

So what are you doing here?

Well, I'm just buying a wine opener

as part of a good deed that I'm doing.

(laughs): What kind of good deed?

I'm setting up George and AnnaBeth.

George and AnnaBeth?

Mm-hmm.

What the hell gave you that idea?

I saw a spark between them.

Oh. Suddenly, after all this time?

Yes! They're back at Fancie's right now

talking up a blue streak.

No. Hold on.

No. I-I know what's going on here,

you're trying to push them together,

so AnnaBeth will be happy, so that...

that we could be together.

(scoffs): What?! Don't be silly.

This is for them.

Mostly.

(scoffs) Lemon, no...

That's...

It-it-it's not fair...

to AnnaBeth or George.

Not to mention, it's just plain craziness.

It won't work.

It will!

(laughs): It has to.

Oh, my God.

This chocolate cake...

Wow!

You think she could've
splurged on two pieces.

- I know!
- What is it Lemon's always saying about

two people sharing a piece

- of chocolate cake together?
- Oh! It's the most

intimate thing two people can do

other than...

- Sex.
- Sex.

Both: She's trying to set us up!

(both groan)

It is a scheme... within a scheme...

within a scheme!

It's a triple scheme!

(both moaning)

(door opens)

What the hell is going on here?

(groans) (sighs) Oh. Mr. Hayes!

This young musician

came by looking for an autograph
and well... (clicks tongue)

we just hit it off!

(laughs) He is a real good kisser.

(Rockett whoops) So, it looks like

this young buck and I

are gonna make a "night" of it.

So, while I'm at the concert,

you mind, uh, romancing the place up a bit,

you know rose petals on the bed,

candles, soft music, champagne.

Oh, and some condoms by the bedside table.

No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No condoms!

What do you mean, "No"?!

My Lord!

What kind of B and B
treats its guests this way?

The fake kind!

(whispers): Fake kind?

All right, come on over

and try our all-new,

deep fried, ice cream quesadilla.

We got chocolate and vanilla

(singsongy): and peanut butter crunch.

What-what are you all doing?

You, you can't advertise here.

This is a private establishment.

Mm-mm.

(scoffs)

I was that quesadilla

in my mouth right now. (sighs)

Well, the place looks pretty good.

I just hope tonight goes all right.

Oh, don't worry, it will.

The concert is off!

What, what are you talking about?

What the hell happened?

Go ask your friend "Lavon."

George: I mean, I just don't

understand why she thinks that
we would make a good couple.

I mean, it's so random and... strange.

No offense. None taken.

I'm telling you, she wants something.

Oh, I just think she wants us to be happy.

I mean, she knows what a
hard time I've been having

getting over Lavon.

(chuckles)

What's that face?

What face? I didn't make a face.

You made a "I know something" face.

You know something!

No, I don't.

This is about me.

No! No, it's not.

You-you know what? You're probably right,

Lemon's just trying to
do a nice thing here.

Getting over...

Lavon.

Oh, my God.

Lemon has feelings for
Lavon again, doesn't she?

I don't know.

I honestly don't.

Yeah, but you suspect.

One day! It was one freaking day!

I-I know. I'm sorry, Z.

I don't know what came over me. (sighs)

(groans) It's been a rough one.

More Lemon stuff?

(wry laugh): Yeah.

And you and Wade are leaving

which means I'm gonna be all alone

on a giant plantation, forever.

Believe me, I am more bummed

about leaving than you are.

You are?

Yes!

I love it here.

I know that I'm supposed

to be a grown-up

and like move out...

to a house with two bedrooms

and a garage or whatever.

But I really wish I could stay.

I really do,

because neither Wade or I
know how to cook or clean.

And Lord knows, who's
gonna take care of the kid

when we're both in our respective jobs

in the middle of the night.

(silently laughs)

I love the pastries!

Okay. Okay. Shh, calm down.

- (screaming): I want to stay!
- Oh...

Okay, Zoe, we'll-we'll
figure something out, okay?

(crying)

Aw... but first, maybe I should

apologize to Meatball's cousin.

(high-pitched): That's a good idea! Yeah.

Found the wine opener;

took three stores, but...

Something wrong with the chocolate cake?

I can't believe you, Lemon.

You're trying to get
George and I together,

so that you can run
off with Lavon, guilt-free?

No... do not look at me.

AnnaBeth, I-I promise
it-it-it wasn't like that.

(scoffs) I saw you and George

at the Butter Stick

and, and you seemed so...

you looked so... cute. (laughs)

You were both laughing and, um...

that's where it all started from.

I-I-I... I swear, I just... (sighs)

I want you to be happy... AnnaBeth.

I really do.

No, you want you to be happy.

'Cause it's always about you.

Hello there, BlueBell!

- (whistling, cheering)
- (Pamela whoops)

That's my cousin up there.

My cuz!

I can introduce you after, if you'd like.

Pamela: ♪ Last call but it ain't enough ♪

♪ You want to run
till the sun comes up ♪

♪ If you want, you can ride with me ♪

- Always the sidekick.
- Hmm.

- Never the hero.
- Mm-mm.

Always Lemon getting what she wants.

You and me...

Always getting it for her.

Mm-hmm.

Pamela: ♪That's open all night ♪

♪ Doesn't even start rocking till ♪

♪ After midnight ♪

♪ Just a little tin shack ♪

♪ With a bar out back ♪

(music continues in distance)

Let me guess.

Your crazy matchmaking plan

went awry, didn't it?

"Awry" isn't a strong enough word.

A.B. figured it out.

Poor A.B.

Hey, hey.

Maybe this is all for the best.

I mean, now there's
nothing holding us back. No.

A.B. was right.

I've been selfish my entire life.

And I will not put my feelings before hers.

I guess you were right last night.

The only thing we can do is just...

move on.

♪ I know a place
that's open all night ♪

♪ Doesn't even start
rockin' till after midnight ♪

♪ Just a little tin shack ♪

♪ With a bar out back ♪

Hey, you all right?

No.

But I will be. (chuckles)

♪ Everybody's feeling all
right, it's open all night ♪

Wade: Hey, you two.

Thank you.

How'd you convince Pamela to come back?

Well, I just blamed my bad
behavior on my tragic love life.

Country singers eat that stuff up.

Wade: Well, I appreciate it.

And the Rammer Jammer appreciates it.

This is the best night we've had in months.

You know, I think we might finally be ready

to check off number three on the list.

Actually, you know what,
what-what if we stay

for the baby's first few months?

And turn the attic of the
carriage house into a nursery?

I mean, so much is changing already.

Well, I don't want to move.

I thought you wanted to move.

Well, hey, if neither of you want to move,

then-then stay.

I mean, I'm great with babies.

And it takes a-a village, right?

- (chuckles)
- Yeah.

Or a crazy small town.

Come on.

♪ The whiskey flowing ♪

Terrible turn. Come on. You
got to get with it, Mama.

♪ I know a place
that's open all night ♪

♪ Doesn't even start
rockin' till after midnight ♪

Oh, then I said, "Crickett,"

"it is gonna take all the
baby powder in Western Alabama"

- "to get those pants off." Whew.
- (laughs) Oh, no.

(laughs) You are funny.

Don't know how I never realized it before.

Well, you are, too.

I mean, maybe there is more to you

than being Lemon Breeland's
stuffy ex-fiancé.

Oh, well, maybe there's more to you

than being her wacky sidekick.

And perhaps... (laughs)

perhaps we are even friends.

Well, I'd say,

after all these years,

- we are, George Tucker.
- Well, then I would say,

maybe, if I saw you at
the Butter Stick Bakery,

maybe I would come and
join you for a... cruller.

Oh. Well, maybe I'd let you.

Let's just, uh...

let's not tell Lemon.

Oh, definitely not.

No. (laughs) (laughs)

♪ Get your drink, get your
girl on the dance floor ♪

♪ Everybody's feeling all right ♪

♪ It's open all night. ♪