Harry Wild (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Mincemeat - full transcript

Ha ha!
I nearly had it.

Oh...

Now, listen, pal.

About tomorrow, right?

You pay for everything.

Don't let her pay for anything.

No, no, no, no.

-I can't do this.
-Why?

I have no money for this.

Oh!

-Here.
-Yeah, no, no, no.



Yes, yes, yes.
No, no, no.

Because we're friends, right?

And that -- that's what friends
do for friends.

You are a good man.

This is double Dutch.

Unless Dutch is one
of your exam papers,

pipe down and concentrate
so I can quiz you.

I'm not just here
so Glenn can nick my chips.

Oh! What sort of a stupid name
for a criminal is Benny Ducks?

Does he?

He sounds like
a cartoon character.

Maybe he became a criminal

'cause people made fun
of his name,

had to prove himself a hard man.



Well, he's trying very hard.

Lend us a tenner, will you,
Harry?

I'll pay you back next week.

I've got a super reliable tip
on a horse.

It's literally gonna murder
all the other horses.

Not literally.

-Oh, it is, I swear.
-What?

It's gonna machine gun
them all to death?

How's it going to get
its hoof around the trigger?

What are you on about?

Oh, I bleedin' hate
Emily Bronte! Harry!

You're not the first
and you won't be the last,

but this essay's
piss-easy!

Listen --

I could've been a jockey,
you know?

Met that Frankie Dettori once.

He said to me, he said,
"Thank Christ, Glenn,

that you chose the career
you did,

because I wouldn't be the winner
I am today

if I had to compete
against the likes of you."

If I give you a tenner,
will you stop talking?

Yeah, all right.

So Fergus, we can do this.

Start focusing on that part now.

Help!

Help!

Help!

Come on.
Come on.

Charlie?

We have a situation.

Go and check the tags.

Standard search area, 20 feet.

Get someone in that water.

His wallet, sir.

-Anything else, sir?
-That is it.

Thanking you.

You okay?

Better than him.

I'm sure I've seen him before.

But I don't know where.

His name's John O'Toole.
Ring any bells?

He was reported missing
by his wife yesterday.

We'll have her I.D. him
to make sure.

Reckon he's been in the water
for a couple of days.

Top himself, did he?

Oh, we won't know
till get the P.M.

I've an uncle in Aberystwyth
who did that.

Put on his best suit, went and
threw himself off the flats.

Through my Aunt Gwyneth

was cheating on him
with the postman.

Irony was she was having it away
with everyone but the postman.

Why was that ironic?

Landed on the postman
when he jumped.

Are you all right, son?

Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely mental, but --
but yeah.

Hi,
this is Jacob.

Please leave a message.

I know that couldn't have
been easy, Mrs. O'Toole.

You've been very helpful.

Are you sure there's no one
I can call for you?

No,
no, thank you.

You've been very kind.

Gemma here will drive you home.

I'll be in touch.

-Charlie, Charlie!
-Mother, Mother!

Look, I can't stop.
I've a squad meeting.

I know who he is.
The dead man, I mean.

We know who is.
John O'Toole.

I'm just back from the morgue.
That was his wife.

Are you saying
that she identified him?

She did.
Now I've really got --

No, no, no!

It -- that can't be
John O'Toole.

The man from the river
was called Jacob Baklov.

He was delivering these
door-to-door

a couple of weeks ago.

I got chatting with him.

He asked me
if I had any odd jobs.

I said I didn't
but I'd bear him in mind.

So he wrote his mobile here
on the back.

I called it.
Went straight to voice mail.

He was Polish.

He looked very different when
we pulled him out of the river.

-Not dead, you mean?
-Oh, don't be facetious!

I mean he wasn't wearing
a tracksuit.

I mean, but it was the shoes
that I remembered.

They were cheap things.

Those shoes, they didn't belong
with that suit,

and they certainly belong
with the tracksuit either.

He's been identified
by his wife.

Well, then clearly
she's in on it.

If I'd known I was
being raised by Columbo...

In on what?

Whatever it is
that they're up to,

but that was not John O'Toole.

I stood with the wife
as she I.D.'d him.

She wasn't lying.

Well, clearly she was!

Is there something
you're not telling me about?

Because you're doing that thing,
you know,

that twitch in your jaw.

What are you on about?

Like when I used to
go into your room,

and you'd pretend
you weren't wanking.

Jesus Christ, Harry!

Go home!

Charlie said his wife
I.D.'d him, and it's not Jacob.

Well, maybe you were wrong.

-More likely she was lying.
-Oh, of course it is.

And why would she lie?

Oh, I don't know.
Insurance scam or something.

Anyway, enough of that.

We are supposed to be talking
about "Wuthering Heights."

Oh, do we have to?

I'd rather talk about
dead people.

I mean "Wuthering Heights" --
so dull.

Dull?

Oh, dear God, have you not
got to the part

where Heathcliff digs up
Cathy's grave

just so he can embrace
her corpse?

-Are you shitting me?
-I shit you not.

They reckon the Brontes
were virgins,

but the passion in their
writing, their unbridled lust...

Yeah, seems a bit creepy.

That need to hold onto someone
one last time.

It's almost primal.

And the cruelty in that book.

I always thought that Heathcliff
was Earnshaw's bastard,

and he just said he was
an orphan to pass him off.

I'll look up that bit
where he digs her up.

"Wuthering Heights" meets
"The Walking Dead,"

right, Harry?

Mincemeat!

Operation Mincemeat!

It was a British
military intelligence operation

in World War II.

Yeah.

The army found a tramp

who died from rat poisoning
or something.

They dressed him as an officer,

then they left him
off the coast of Spain

with a briefcase
chained to his arm.

When the Germans got him, they
reckoned they'd discovered plans

for an Allied landing
somewhere in Europe,

but the information
in the briefcase was a decoy.

The Allies landed elsewhere,
fooled the Nazis completely.

There must be a point?

What if John O'Toole
wants the world

to believe that he's dead
for some reason.

Maybe it's not
an insurance scam.

Maybe someone's after him.

He owes money.
It could be anything.

But then he meets Jacob.

Okay.

-How?
-I don't know.

Maybe Jacob knocks on his door,
like he did me,

and he -- he looks so alike

that he realizes
that Jacob could pass for him.

Especially after a couple
of days in a river.

Exactly!

And -- And with
the closed coffin

and only the wife has seen him.

And we've already established
that she's in on it.

No, I'm not sure
we did establish that.

You just said it.

I think we should pay a visit
to the merry widow tomorrow,

pay our respects.

-We don't know where she lives.
-I do.

Driver's license at the pub.

Nice one.

Fingers crossed
she doesn't remember me.

What?

We passed each other
at the Garda station.

Only briefly.

Now you bring this up!

Yes?

Mrs. O'Toole?

I'm sorry to intrude,

but I was there when your
husband was found,

and I-I want -- oh -- to --

-Whoa. Ohh...
-Sorry.

She just wanted to check
you're okay.

Maybe if she sits?

I was just about to go out.

It's her age.
She gets turns.

Uh...

J-Just for a moment, then.

Thank you.
Oh, thank you.

Okay, up we get, Nanna.
There we go.

I couldn't stop
thinking about you!

-Oh...
-Thanks for doing what you did.

Everyone's been very kind.

Have we met?

Oh, no, dear, no.
I...

I didn't know your husband.

Just...

I just thought
because I was there,

it might help to talk.

Oh, no, I don't think.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, no, no.

No, I don't want to
bother you.

Oh!

Sorry about this.

Would a glass of water help,
Gran?

Oh, yes, dear.

Sorry, would you mind?

No, of course.

Go on.

I'm real sorry about this.

I remember
when me granddad died.

God, it was horrible, you know?

Everyone coming around,
and you had to talk and stuff.

But me granny, I mean,
last night

she wasn't able to sleep
just thinking about you.

Yeah,
it's nice you minding her.

I have a daughter your age.

She, uh...

Oh, shit.
Sorry.

I mean, she must be
taking it hard, her dad dying.

John was her stepdad.

Oh.

So is she here?

Why?

No reason, you know?

I could just talk to her,
maybe, if you like.

Just someone the same age.

Emma's in boarding school.

Boarding school, Jesus.
Wow, that must have cost a load.

I mean it's rough losing your
fella and then having bills,

though I suppose if you
had insurance it might...

What did you say your name was?

I'm Glenn.

You sure I can't get you
a cup of tea, something,

anything like that?

You need to leave.

I'm feeling
so much better now.

I'll pray for you, my dear.

So much better.

I nearly shit meself there.
She did not want to talk to us.

Did you notice there wasn't

a single photograph
of her husband?

-And where's the daughter?
-Boarding school.

And John was her stepda,
apparently.

Oh, well that explains
the name --

Emma Harding, not O'Toole.

Boarding school,
that's pretty costly.

-Yeah, I got a photo of her pic.
-Oh.

What's on her blazer?

St. Albina's.

Some fancy school in Wicklow.

She's got public pages
on all her social media.

Idiot.

No photos of her ma
or her stepda.

Oh, she bleedin' loves hockey.

Big ideas about herself.

We should have
a little talk with her.

14-year-olds can be very mouthy
about stepfathers.

First, are you hungry?

Yeah.

Okay.

There's no chips.

Duch Puszczy.

Moonshine of the forest.

The last time I drank that,

I was just a slip of a thing

in the company
of a very handsome young man.

Do you want
lunch?

Yes.
Two kotlety schabowy.

And a word with Jacob Baklov,
please.

No Jacob here.
You want drink?

Jacob Baklov doesn't work here?
That's odd. He said he did.

Well, he was delivering
your cards door-to-door.

We pay agency for that.
No Jacob here.

I will bring your tea.

I'm going to go
and check out the kitchen.

Make sure that young man at
the counter doesn't follow me.

Jacob.

I wish I'd learnt more Polish
than the drinks menu.

Plan B -- Emma Harding.

Yeah, and how exactly
are we gonna get near

a 14-year-old girl
in a boarding school?

Lola!
Your birthday!

Fancy going shopping
with me tomorrow?

We could go into town.

We could have lunch,
hit the shops...

She's meant to be studying.

There is a new boba.

Yeah, but a whole day?

Bloody hell!

I'm sure even Kim Jong Un
allows North Korean kids

to take a day off
for their birthday.

She has exams.

Next year.

Parental hothousing is
the primary cause of suicide

in stressed-out teenagers.

- Harry.
- Jesus Christ!

All I am saying is just give her
a break once in a while.

Otherwise she'll be popping
phets to stay up studying.

What?
You don't think that happens?

It is just one day.

I could --
I could make it up on Sunday.

Oh, I guess one day.

Excellent.

Drop her off at 10:00.

Sure I can't run you in?

Oh, we'll be fine.

Call you on our way back.

-Bye now!
-Bye, Dad!

If we have time,
do you think we could go

to the National Gallery?

Ruby and...

Oh, this is Fergus.

Fergus, Lola.

A-All right?

Why were you in there?

Oh, that?

Well, your grandmother
doesn't like people

knowing that she has
Black friends,

so, uh, she makes me hide.

Twat!

So, what I told you yesterday
was a ruse.

We are not going out.
We're on a mission.

We're going to go to
a boarding school near Wicklow.

There's a pupil there
called Emma Harding.

Her stepfather
was pulled out of the river

a few days ago, but...

but it wasn't him.

It was another man
meant to look like him.

What? Why?

Oh, that's what we're going to
try and find out.

So we need to
get into the school,

and we want you to ask Emma
about her stepfather.

Yeah, and this is her.

I spoke to the head last night,

and I told her that we were
in the area

and that we would like
to see the school.

So you want me to wander around
until I find this girl,

go up to her,
and interrogate her

about her not-so-dead stepdad?

Of course not!
That would be impossible.

Turns out that she's
into hockey -- team captain.

So I told the head
that you were equally obsessed

and that you'd like to meet
the captain of the team.

I don't know anything
about hockey.

I can't do this.
This isn't me.

Well, then don't be you.
Play a character.

I told them
that I'm your governess

and I gave the impression that
you're from a famous family.

See, this Emma is celeb mad,
right?

She follows every influencer
on the planet.

Which family?

We thought you'd be part of
Brad Pitt

and Angelina Jolie's brood.

They have a lot of kids.

I don't even know
any of their names.

- Precisely!
- Yeah.

See we thought
Zillah Jolie-Pitt'd be

the sort of name they'd use.

Like Zillah
from "Wuthering Heights"?

Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.

I love "Wuthering Heights."
It's one of my favorite books.

Yeah, yeah.
M-Me too.

Can we control our hormones,
both of you?

Your parents' divorce
has stressed you out so much

that they're sending you to
boarding school for stability.

First things first --
You've got to look the part.

We need to take you shopping.

No way.

You were right.
You pick something.

What?

Ahh.

It's a bit pricey.

It's your birthday!
I said I'd take you shopping.

What?

Well, it's not too late.

Ride doesn't get here
for 30 minutes.

Ride?

No way.

We've a very balanced
philosophy at St. Albina's.

"Mind is as important as body,"
we like to say,

"and body is as important
as the mind."

Sleep, nutrition, exercise
are as integral

as the accumulation
of knowledge.

So, what do you think Zillah?

Ah!

This is the captain
of our hockey team.

Emma, this is Zillah.

Emma will show you around.

Would you like to come
with this way?

Are you famous or something?

Can you keep a secret?

What position do you play?

We could do with
a defensive fullback.

Um...

Ah...

God.

Oh, my God, you guys
are never gonna believe this --

one of Angelina Jolie
and Brad Pitt's kids

is checking out the school
right now.

What? Bullshit.

Are you mum and dad famous?

We're not
really supposed to say.

You know, paparazzi, right?

Are you really coming here?

Oh, you have to come!
That's so cool!

Why'd someone like you
come here?

One thing's for sure --

She won't have to come here
on a scholarship.

Because my parents think
I need, like, stability.

Just because I borrowed
one of my mom's cars.

I mean, she's got like
seven of them.

-You can drive?
-Of course.

Everyone in the States
can drive. It's easy.

It might not be so bad
to come here.

My mom's seeing this guy.

He's a total douche.

I just -- I don't want to have
to deal with, like, stepparents.

-You know what I mean?
-Ugh! Stepparents are the worst.

I thought you said we shouldn't
speak ill of the dead.

Oh, my God!

Who's dead?

My stepdad.

No big loss, trust me.

Wow, really?
How come you didn't like him?

Ah, there you are girls.

I do hope everyone's been
looking after you, Zillah.

Emma needs to hurry on now.

Hockey team's got
an away game this afternoon.

Come on, ladies.
Minibus is waiting.

I really hope you come here.

Aw, shoot! I totally left
my phone back there.

I'll be right back.

Oh!

There is
one rather sensitive issue

we need to discuss,
Miss Hastings.

Zillah's parents will insist
on a thorough background check

of all the girls
and the staff.

If there is anything
questionable that may come up,

it might be best
to flag it now.

Absolutely not.

The staff go through
the most rigorous vetting.

Oh.
And the girls?

-Hey.
-Hey!

I thought you left.

Thought I'd have
a snoop around.

I couldn't really get a feel for
the place with that Emma girl.

She was a little OTT,
if you know what I mean.

Tell me about it.

There was something kind of off
about her.

I couldn't quite put my digits
on it, though.

My mom always says
to, like, trust my instincts.

Yep, your mum's right.

Oh, but your mum's
Angelina Jolie.

Sorry, I just thought
about that.

So, uh, she's, like,
right about Emma, then?

Look, I don't know
if I should really say.

Whatever.

Well, look, it's just...

She doesn't
really belong here.

Really?

How come?

Emma's
stepfather's a criminal.

I thought you didn't
get anything from Emma.

I didn't.

This is from another girl,
Sadie.

Emma was really bitchy to her,

so she was only too happy
to spill the tea.

So that's why you went back?

I was too busy
trying to get over

you going all Calamity Jane
on us.

-Who?
-Just forget it.

She does that.

Emma didn't like
her stepdad at all.

Sadie said he knew a lot
of really dodgy people.

One of his friends had just gone
to prison

for a bank robbery, apparently.

Bank robbery?

The paper -- There was a story
about a bank robbery.

Yeah, there was a bank job
in Blanchardstown.

Benny Ducks -- weird name --
is awaiting trial.

Guards are looking for the rest
of the gang and the loot.

So it wasn't an insurance job.

O'Toole's a bank robber.
He...

He staged his own bloody murder
because he's a wanted man!

Oh, is that
your birthday present?

It's lovely.

I've had the best day.

Oh.

Thank you, Granny.

You're welcome, sweetheart.

Sorry.
I-I didn't mean to scare you.

Nowak's?

-So you got my message?
-Yes.

Who's Jacob to you?
Family?

He has no family.
We know him in the café.

He does odd jobs for us.

He hasn't been in for a while.

I'm seriously worried.

Is he in trouble?

I think
you should come inside.

I cannot believe.

Jacob was one of life's
good guys, you know?

Always helping people.

Can you tell me about him?

He wanted to be
a dog trainer.

Like, greyhounds.

-Greyhounds?
-Yeah.

Last time I saw him,

he told me
that he was going to,

uh, how do you say that?

That he was going to buy a leg
in one.

What does that mean?

That he was going to be
a part-owner with other people.

Ah.

What other people?

I don't know.

I think with people that he met
at the greyhound track.

Did he mention any names?

Yes.
There was one man.

-His name was...
-Was it John O'Toole?

No, no, no.
No, it was "Vi-taker."

"Vi-taker"?

-No, "Vee-taker"?
-"Vi-taker"?

-Whittaker?
-Whittaker! Exactly!

And he had something to do
with the dogs houses,

where -- where the dogs live.

-The kennels.
-Exactly.

The kennels.

Mr. Whittaker?

I'm the new assistant.

Your man at the office
told me to come down here.

-What man?
-With the glasses?

-Kevin?
-Yeah. Yeah, that's the one.

Nice of him to tell me.
Fine.

Well, come on, then!

Make yourself useful.

So this here is Mamma-Jamma,
a 76-pounder.

Chases hard -- no nerves.

Averages a 2.6 split
out of the boxes.

Are you scared of...?

What the bloody hell
are you doing here

if you're scared
of feckin' dogs?

-Me neighbor said it'd help.
-Well, it doesn't help me.

I've no time to hold your hand.

Please.
It's me grandda.

He's going blind,
and he needs a guide dog,

so I have to get over this.

That's a nice thing for a lad to
do for his grandda, I suppose.

My neighbor said the same thing.

Jacob. Jacob Baklov.
Do you know him?

He knows dogs.

I haven't
seen him around recently.

Said he was gonna
buy a leg in a dog.

Ha. Bollocks.
Pipe dreams.

Jacob hasn't two pennies
to rub together.

Said a friend
was gonna help him.

John something or other.

O'Toole I think it was.
John O'Toole.

Maybe.

He was always
John's little lackey,

running around after him.

But he's right out of luck.
John O'Toole is dead.

So he did know John?

Yeah.
You just told me that.

What did you say your name was?
Huh?!

You know what?
Grandda can use a stick.

Bleedin' hate these things.

Feckin' kids, eh?

Come to daddy.

-Charlie's not here.
-No, no. I was looking for you.

John O'Toole isn't dead.

He was on that bank job.
The one you got Benny Ducks for?

And he's murdered a man
called Jacob Baklov.

Jacob bore a ballpark
resemblance to O'Toole,

who he knew
from the dog track,

so O'Toole dressed him
in one of his suits,

got him drunk,
bashed on the back of the head,

put his wallet in his jacket
so he'd be identified as him,

and then threw him
into the river.

Why did he kill this, um,
Jacob...?

Baklov.

Because he needed the world
to think that he was dead.

Jacob was Polish, you know, had
no family, no one to miss him.

Just before he died,
he thought he was

going to come into some money.

I think O'Toole
promised him something --

I'm not sure what --
but he said

that it would pay enough
for him to buy into a greyhound.

The papers said that
Benny Ducks hasn't revealed

who his accomplices are yet,

but he could at any time,
right?

Cut a deal?
Isn't that what they say?

So O'Toole could be anywhere
by now.

No, I don't think he is.
And his wife's in on it too.

She had to identify Jacob
as her husband.

Papers also said that the loot
has never been recovered.

How well do you remember
your World War II history?

Ah...

I watched "Band of Brothers."

Ever heard
of Operation Mincemeat?

What class did you miss?

English.
Don't care.

Already gave in my essay
on "Wuthering Heights."

Not sure I want to see
what I get.

Well, did you write
about what we discussed?

Heathcliff's passion?

Yeah, yeah, all that bollocks
and more.

Everything you said.

-You're going to get an A.
-Right. So what's the plan?

Well...

If John O'Toole isn't dead, that
means that he's hiding, right?

So his wife
will lead us to him.

How do we get her to do that?

We just have to give her
a little nudge

in the right direction.

Who's that?

A nudge.

He's telling her that he's
looking for his friend Jacob.

She's telling him
that she doesn't know

who he's talking about.

Now he's saying that Jacob said
that if he disappeared,

he was to call the guards

because John O'Toole
would be responsible.

Piss off!

She's saying, "Piss off."

Ohh, Charlie is mad
at me again.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
hold up.

-Shall we?
-Okay, let's go.

That's Whittaker.

We need to hear
what they're saying.

Stay here.

It's only a matter of time, Tom.

Benny's cracked.
Look what he did to my John.

Benny's locked up, Lou.

How'd he kill your John
if he's in prison, eh?

Don't be so simple.

You know all it'd take
is a phone call.

Yeah, I do know, and it
would've been me he'd phone.

-And he didn't.
-So, what does that tell you?

You'd better come inside.

We were wrong.

They're not hiding out
so they can run.

Whittaker's the third member
of Benny Ducks' team.

He has the money.

Change of plan.

Glenn.

-What's happening?
-Harry's starving me to death.

We're on a stakeout.

Yeah, a stakeout
with no provisions.

Jesus! You got any food
in the glove compartment, Glenn?

Crisps? Chocolate?
An old potato?

-Sorry, pal.
-Ohh!

Ay ay.

Tail him, Glenn.

Born for this moment, I was,
and I'll tell you for why --

I did a course
on evasive driving once.

Ha ha! I can teach that fellow
a thing or two.

Look at him indicating.

He should just turn,
not tell us where he's going.

But he is going, Glenn,
and we need to go after him.

Oh, yeah.
Right you are.

Come on!

What have I done to you, eh?

She gets nervous.
Ah!

Third time lucky. Ha ha!

Oh! We're going
the wrong way, Glenn!

Wait here, Glenn.

Okay, but I have to keep
the meter running.

I'm joking!
Just a few quid for the petrol.

Bloody head cases.

Hello, Tom.

Good to see you.

John.
But you're -- you're dead!

Yeah.

And yet here I am,

like the ghost
of fucking Christmas past.

What's in the bags, Tom?
Hmm?

Any chance it's that loot
you hid without telling me?

We should do something.

No, that's a job
for the guards.

I'm going to call in
right now.

-What?!
-Shh. Shh, shh, shh.

You had her
under surveillance?

Yeah, her, Whittaker,
and you pair of bloody idiots.

If you had answered your phone
you would've known.

You should've come to me.

Off him, O'Toole!

Off him!
Hands in the air!

Hands in the air!

Get off him!
Hands up!

Get down! Face the vehicle!
Face the vehicle!

Get on him.

Any weapons?

Pat 'em down, get 'em in.

I guess there's nothing more
to see, then.

Good riddance.

I did it!

English teacher gave me mate
my essay.

I got a B!

You were robbed.

That's brilliant.
Can't do better than that.

Yes, you can.

Oh, yeah.

You here
to read me the riot act?

On the contrary.

You helped us solve
two cases today.

One of those going begging?

Oh...

And they all spilled their guts
in the end.

No such thing
as loyalty among thieves.

So poor Jacob
was just a patsy.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.
Evil shits, the lot of them.

You know, Jacob was actually
a decent bloke.

Well, at least we got
justice for him.

And that is down to you.

Oh, feel free
to tell Charlie that.

Look, his pride is dented
because you didn't go to him,

but he appreciates this
as well.

And why did you come to me?

Because you seem to be
a smart man.

Charlie's smart too
but he's my son, and, uh,

I wouldn't want this
to become a thing between us.

But you're happy for there
to be a thing between us?

You probably should go home
to your wife.

Yeah.

Actually we're supposed to be
at a boring reception

for the top brass about now.

In truth, I don't think Vivian
would even realize

if I wasn't there.

Our marriage is over.

I see.