Harper's Island (2009): Season 1, Episode 1 - Whap - full transcript

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- I don't want to see that.Don't ever show me that again.
- You scared Gigi.

- Madison!
- Want to see again?

- No,no thank you.
- No,no!

I know I have said this a hundred times,

but I just can't believe my
little sister is getting married.

She is.



Sully didn't think
you'd bring the cooler.

What?

Of course I bring the cooler.

In what universe do I
not bring the cooler?

Look at them.

You know what I love about those guys?

They bring their own beer?

No.

That they love Henry as much as I do.

Groom,groom.
Groom,groom,groom,groom,groom.

Henry Dunn.

All tarted up to impress the Swells.

There's only one person
here I need to impress.

Yep,your
father-in-law.



I don't know about daddy dearest,but there's
a smoking hot rich girl checking you out.

Come on.

- Me?
- Me.

- Me.
- No,me.

- No,you said me.
- No,she said me.

- Yes,you.
- Yes.

I knew it. Sorry,guys. I win.

Who's getting married?

Uh,the groom is my best
friend from growing up.

You look familiar.

Yeah,I grew up on the island.

Right. You're Sheriff Mills' kid.

What a shame.

All those people. Terrible.

I never would have believed something
so awful could happen around here.

We're still waiting on people,Daddy.

Have you seen Cousin Ben?

I don't want you to worry.

It's my job to make sure
everything goes according to plan.

Uncle Marty!

Henry! My boy!

All right! Let's get this party going!

Ol!

- Uncle Marty.
- Henry,Henry.

Hi,Marty.

Oh,come on,Trish,it's
Uncle Marty to you.

You're part of the family now.

In fact,for the entire week,it's
going to be Uncle Marty for everyone!

Ol!

Ol!

Uncle Marty,I'm so glad you're here.

Yeah,family's everything.

How did you find a
mariachi band in Seattle?

You're the only guy
who could pull it off.

Never mind,I don't want to know.

- No,you don't want to know.
- Come on,I want you to meet my dad.

Oh,he's going to love me.

Thought you might never
get out of that cab.

Well,I needed a moment.

- Second thoughts?
- About going home?

You know,I told him you'd come.

Trish. Trish.

I am so excited.

- Hi,you look great.
- Oh,no.

How was your trip from LA?

I am feeling a bit
shaky from the flight.

Have some champagne,Abner.
You'll feel better.

Oh,my God.

Oh,what do you know? I do feel better.

Here's to all of us...

hooking up with all them.

We're still waiting on Cousin Ben.

He's always late.

He always answers,though.

Give him a call again.

Voice mail again.

We can wait if you want.

- No. No,we should go.
- Okay.

All right,let's get her going.

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All Wellingtons on deck. Pardon me,sir.

Wellingtons,please.

Hi,sweetheart.

Where's Henry?

Okay,that's everyone.

- Say cheese.
- Cheese.

Shouldn't you be there?

I don't think that's the plan.

There'll be plenty of
photo ops this week.

You didn't think I was
going to show,did you?

I knew you were coming.

- I didn't.
- No?

But I realized if I didn't
come home now,I might never.

And that scared me.

You know,it's been seven
years,Ab,since the murders.

The island's moved on.
It feels normal again.

That's why Trish and I
are getting married there.

You'll see,it's the
place we loved as kids.

That would be nice.

Abby so should have been his best man.

You're mixing up best
man with best friend.

Best friend takes care of the feelings.

Best man takes care
of the bachelor party.

Please tell me it's going to be
something seriously debauched.

It's probably your cousin Ben.

Tell him we can charter
a boat for him tomorrow.

Caller:HUNTER JENNINGS

No,it's... it's not him.

Come on. You don't know about the muers?

John Wakefield-- he
killed,like,six people.

How can you not remember?

Chloe has a thing for serial killers.

It's so not a thing.

- What set Wakefield off?
- That's the big mystery.

Seven years ago he just showed up
on the island and started killing.

He chopped,hung,and burned anyone that
was unlucky enough to get in his way.

You know,um,Henry's friend Abby?

Her mom was one of 'em.

- So she was on the island when...
- Yeah.

So that's why she's...

Abby Mills.

Hiya,Jimmy.

I knew someday you'd come back to me.

- And I knew you'd be here.
- Oh,yeah? Anhow's that?

I could smell you from the mainland.

Oh,so that's how it gonna be,huh?

Big city girl now.

So,uh,I've changed,too.

Uh,the hat or the gloves?

No,I'm married now.

You are such a liar.

Yeah,yeah,no,I'm kidding. No,but I
had you for a second,right,didn't I?

No,I was just feeling
pity for the poor girl.

All right,pretend like I didn't.

Hey,Abby,welcome home!

It's just a visit.

Hey,Abby,there's room.

Oh,thanks. I think I'll walk.

- Bring the bags to the hotel.
- Okay.

Let's go!

Mom?

Whoa,it's okay. It's okay.

The killer's dead,Abby.

Should've cut down that
tree a long time ago.

Come on,come on. Let's get out of here.

Look,sooner or later I was gonna
walk past that tree,so I thought...

why not get it out of the way?

Yeah. No,great. Ease into it.

Hey,maybe we can drop in and say
hi to your dad while we're at it.

Okay,bad idea.

Henry! Henry Dunn! You're here!

Does Maggie know you're coming?

Nobody does.

You grew up so beautiful.

Just the best week ever. Now...

I've kept the afternoon open so
that everyone could get settled.

- Great.
- The welcome dinner is tonight at 7:00.

And,you two,we have a lot of work to do.

Your wedding party has the
entire inn for the week.

And,since it's the end of season,you
practically have the whole island to yourselves.

- Oh,sorry.
- Sorry.

Excuse me. See you at dinner.

Did you show Trish's niece the
bloody finger in the box trick?

I might've had something to do with it.

Well,I knew everyone
was going to love you.

- Get in there.
- Cal!

Oh,this is nice.

Wonder what that's about?

Sailing?

"My bounty is a boundless
as the sea My love is deep."

You always said you wanted
to sail,so I rented a boat.

I thought maybe we could
slip away one day this week.

How do I look?

Dangerous.

Do you know what I love about you?

You always think of everything.

Look at him. He's afraid to
get his tighty-whites wet.

You ever see me dressed for the Love Boat,you
get a harpoon and put me out of my misery.

Who did he bring over today?

A wedding party.

Trish Wellington is marrying Henry Dunn.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- The Princess and the Pauper.
- Yeah.

Henry's okay.

For a guy who only came to the island for
the summers and knew a lot about boats.

Tell me his psycho little
brother isn't coming.

I don't know. I'll tell
you who did come,though.

- Abby.
- No. Don't go back to that,man.

She dumped you. She didn't even give you
a kiss good-bye in the rearview mirror.

That wasn't about me.

Oh,no,of course it wasn't about you.

You know what your problem
is? You're too nice.

Hey,Al,you need some help?

Get over here.

Way too nice.

I think something's
caught in the rudder.

I think it's just seaweed,Al.

Okay,so...maybe when she left,

it was because of her mom and
the bad stuff that went down.

But in all these years,did
she ever call you?

What,are you giving dating advice now?

I got it.

Keep it as a souvenir.

Hey,excuse me. That's...
that's my bag. Thanks.

Look at this place.

When you think about it,you're
like something out of a fairy tale.

You washed a millionaire's
boats when you were a kid,

and then you grow up
to marry his daughter.

I don't think Mr. Wellington
considers it much of a fairy tale.

Henry,listen to me. Never...

- never let that old man intimidate you.
- I won't.

- I promise.
- Good boy.

Now,Henry,tell me about
that blond on the boat.

You know the one I'm talking
about? You know,the...

Chloe.

Yeah?

Chloe.

I have something for you.

Oh,yeah? Is it big?

well,"big" is a relative term,isn't it?

Are you going to show me or are
you just going to think about it?

I might just think about it for a bit.

That's my Cal--
always thinking.

The question is: Are you big?

I promised Madison we'd find
her a friend to play with.

She's fine. Look at her.

She's having a great time.

Madison,you have one more minute
before you have to get ready for dinner.

Did you hear me? One more minute.

Madison?

JD,you in there?

Just want to see if you
need anything for tonight.

Look,I don't know if you want to hear
this or not,but I'm glad you came.

With Mom and Dad gone,you and Uncle
Marty are the only family I have.

It means a lot.

I*****

Hello?

Hello?

Hubba,hubba!

Look at you! You look amazing!

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Thanks.

That's good,'cause...'cause
I've decided.

I'm gonna have fun tonight.

No,no,no,no,no,strike that.

I'm going to have fun
this whole week and...

anything you need,I got your back.

You...You don't even have to ask.

Have you been drinking?

A little bit.

A little bit?

Yeah...

yeah.

So Abby seems like a great girl.

All this time,I've heard
about "Henry's friend,"

now I get it; you're
right. She's really sweet.

I know! I told you!

Am I the only one who thinks that
men and women can't just be friends?

You've never had a guy
who was just a friend?

No.

What?!

You know,now that I think about it,I
did have that one friend that was a guy.

You remember.

That doesn't matter.

{6}1 new message from hunter jennings

{6}you look lovely in blue.
meet me in the south lobby

If you mean that Italian
exchange student junior year--

he doesn't count because he was married!

Remember how he'd go on about
his wife,how he loved her...

Excuse me.

One second.

Hello,Trish.

Hunter...

What are you doing here?

Hunter...

I'm getting married.

Are you sure?

That guy is my hero.

He's not that great.

Oh,God,here we go.

No,no,no,no,I'm serious.

Uncle Marty's,what,50?

- He's not married...
- Okay.

no kids...

and here he is trying to tap
some hot thing half his age.

Come on!

Oh-oh,okay,Oprah,so in,uh,what world
does that make him not a superhero?

As far as I'm concerned,eating
ain't cheating.

Oh,my God Tell that to
your boyfriend in Seattle.

How's it going?

We were just talking
about the groomsmen.

So,you and Henry...

you've been friends for a long time; you
must've hooked up at least once,right?

I...

Everybody having fun?

Yeah.Yeah.

Has anyone seen JD?

- I'm on it; I'll find him.
- No,wait,that's not why I asked.

I know. Go find that fiance of yours,and
let me worry about finding your brother.

Oh,hey,you might want to start...

At The Cannery. I'm on it!

We should go to Dad.

He will make Hunter leave.

No!

Daddy will just cause a big
scene and embarrass Henry.

You have to tell Henry.

Henry is the last person I want to know.

I mean,I don't want anything
to ruin this wedding.

Trish,he's gonna be your husband.

Couples shouldn't have secrets.

Shea,please...

We all know that you live the perfect
life,so don't pass judgment on mine.

Okay...look...

if you have any doubts...about
Henry...or getting married,

now is the time to speak up.

But I don't.

I love Henry.

And I'm going to marry him.

Appreciate it.

It means a lot to me.

I'm curious if anybody
else had seen you inside.

I did as you asked--
straight to Trish.

I don't know if you know how
important is that you succeed here.

For her sake.

I just couldn't tell,but,um...

she was definitely surprised.

Uh,Trish did agree to meet
me in the morning,though.

Well,that's progress.

I just want you to know,if
there's anything you need,

please don't hesitate to ask.

I'm not leaving this island without her.

My daughter's not marrying Henry Dunn.

Oh,my God!

Abby!

Nikki!

Look at you!

Coming in here all Aphrodite.

You're trying to make
us local girls look bad.

Oh,please!

You're gorgeous.

Yet you probably forgot that it's
boring as hell here,most of the time.

You looking for someone special?

Yes,but not the fisherman
you're so subtly implying.

There's my perp.

Any trouble?

JD?

A lamb among lions.

Okay,then.

I'm gonna text Henry.

Make room,you animals.

Any of you so much as lay a hand on this
flower,I'll nail your tongue to the bar.

Who's up next?

You.

Big city girl.

Get over here.

Who are you calling a big city girl?

That's a pretty dress.

You wearing that for me?

I hope your game is
better than your banter.

our cousin ben wellington

Madison!

It's time for bed,sweetie!

Oh,may I?

You know...your
daughter and my nephew...

they make a stunning
couple,don't you think?

Ah,love.

Love's a funny thing,isn't it?

I fail to see your point,Mr. Dunn.

Uncle Marty.

Aw,come on,everybody
calls me Uncle Marty.

Your point.

Well...I'm talking about purpose,y'know?

I'm talking about my
true calling in life.

I thought you were in sales.

See,one thing I know for certain,

is that I was put on this earth
to protect men like Henry--

men who deserve true love and
happiness-- from men like you.

Is that supposedo be
some sort of a threat?

Threat?

Now,come on...

we're just sitting around chatting
like a couple of pals,ar't we?

Anyway...

pretty soon,you and me...

we're gonna be family.

Thanks for the cigar.

My,I thought you'd be better than this.

I'm at an emotional disadvantage.

So they don't have any phones in LA,huh?

Nope.

E-mail...

Not that I saw.

You telling me you didn't
miss me a little bit?

I didn't say that.

Then you did miss me.

Tell you
what--

I make this,you have to stop
asking me so many questions.

And if you don't?

Name it.

Really!

You got yourself a deal
there,big city girl.

Scratch.

Double or nothing?

Do you mind?

Stop being a creep.

What?

I like your tat.

Broken hearts.

Is he bothering you?

No,Shane,I haven't even met the guy.

Oh,we,allow me.

This is JD Dunn.

His family used to work
summers on the island.

JD...this is Kelly.

We used to go out.

You like the tattoo?

I did it.

You want to show him
the other ones you have?

Don't do this.

What?

It's cool.

Me and JD,we're just...catching up.

Right?

So,heard you tried to
whack yourself again.

Now,was that just an attention- getting kind of thing,
or were you really,really sad?

You know what?

You two probably have a lot to talk about,wt
with all the cutting and the suicidal...

That's enough,Shane!

That's enough,Shane!

Come on,come on!

Hi,Dad.

You okay?

Never better.

You're...

probably wondering about the truck.

It seems fine.

That's the...that's the way I feel...

The heater still works.

Did you get the cards I sent?

The ones at Christmas?

Listen,I was...

thinking maybe,now that you're here...

Thanks for the ride,Dad.

Will you unlock the door,please?

I feel like I owe you an apology.

For what?

If I didn't have you
out there looking for JD,

you never would have run
into your dad like that.

We both knew that part of me
coming home was dealing with my dad.

I feel like I didn't do a very good
job of watching your back tonight.

Are you kidding me?

You broke up a bar
fight with a pool cue.

Maybe if I wasn't playing pool,there
wouldn't have been a fight.

Come on.

You know JD. He's gonna
do whatever he wants.

I'm just afraid that one of these days he's gonna do
something a whole lot worse than just pick a fight.

Maybe,

but...there's a part of
him that's very sweet.

Yeah.

Who were you playing pool with?

Chloe?

Chloe,darling,when I said
swimming,I meant the pool!

What are you doing?

What are you waiting for?

Okay.

I want to show you something.

Uh-uh,you gotta catch me first.

Chloe...

God...wait

hold on!

Chloe?

Honey,did you have a bad dream?

No? What's wrong,then?

Did you know people died here?

What?

People were killed on this island.

Who told you that?

Madison...

who said that?

My new friend told me.

Chloe?

Oh,come on,Chloe,this isn't fun.

Chloe!

Chloe?

Oh,babe,you should have seen your face!

You jerk!

It was just a joke.

You could've killed me!

Look,Chloe?

No!

Oh,God...

Where is it?

Where is it?

Oh,come on!

ruining my night,idiot!

Was I loud?

What? No!

- Oh,my God,I was loud.
- No!

Oh,my God,I was so loud.

No. It's okay. It makes
me look really good.

It's okay! It's okay. I love you.

I love you,too.

One sec.

I...will be...right...back.

Hey,honey,I was thinking...

um,maybe we should get
separate rooms from now on.

That way,the night of our
wedding can be special.

Whatever you want,sweetheart.

Hey,is somebody down there?

Give me a hand,will you?

I'm stuck.

Can you help me here?

wakefield murders sheriff's
wife on killing rampage