Harlem (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Saturn Returns - full transcript

♪ Harlem ♪

♪ Harlem ♪

They say if you
don't learn from the past,

you're bound to repeat it.

Inherent in that expression
is the assumption

that repeating history is bad,

something to avoid.

♪ Cause a ruckus
in the Rucker... ♪

However, here,
in the Harlem of today,

anthropologists tell us
that by learning who we were,

what the city was, we might
get lucky enough to repeat it.



Now, how you gonna be
a freelance palm reader?

- It's possible.
- No business.

Should I try right now?

Ooh, now, this is a Saturn
aspect on your lifeline...

very powerful stuff.

Ooh.

But a big mistake is coming
back right to get you.

The mistake was agreeing
to pay you for this bullshit.

You know, hostility
is like the new smoking.

You only hurting yourself.

Whatever.

Anyway, ladies, would anyone
else like a palm reading?

No.

Namaste.



Nama-don't stay.
Namast-go.

I must have
one of those, too.

A broke-ass cousin
who makes up nonsense?

No, a past mistake
coming back.

Ian was at the club.

What? Tonight?

And you're just now
saying something?

I spent three plates of rice
and beans listening to Quinn

rank the Jonas Brothers.

You couldn't have cut in
with that information?

Saturn must really want
you two to be together.

Well, my apologies to Saturn.

I got this close to him.

No, I just...
I lost all my nerve.

Wow, she's good.

He wasn't supposed to be there.
He threw me off my whole shit.

Four years later, and that
nigga still has a hold on you.

That's some serious
dick energy right there.

What's dick energy?

How is it I know
and you don't?

It's when a man's stroke
is so enchanting

that the ghost of his penis

sort of haunts your vagina
like an old house.

Oh, I guess I haven't had
that pleasure.

Well, I sling serious
dick energy,

and I don't even have one.

You are so nas...
Stop doing that at the table!

I am not this woman!

I don't run from an ex.

I'm the "tell your followers

to be brave
and face their fears" woman.

Yeah, but to run
into Ian like that?

In all of the bars
in New York...

No, no,
this has to be a sign.

Or signs are woo-woo bullshit,

and her ex is
just in town visiting.

No, wait.
That's what it is.

Paul and Brittany's
engagement party.

That's why he's in town.

We're the ones who introduced
them in the first place.

And now they're engaged?

Why don't you ever introduce me
to anybody?

Baby, the thirst is real.

It was actually
supposed to be a joke.

They are the corniest friends
that we have,

and Ian thought it would be
funny to go on a double date,

And it turns out
that corny gets corny.

If Ian's going, then
I'm coming down with the flu.

Says Mrs. Don't Run Away
From An Ex.

Mm.

Well, I can't be black
girl magic all the time.

- Hello!
- Hi!

So good!

I'm sorry!

So? Who was he?

A producer!

I told you that open-mic night
was gonna be good.

- "Brothers Pictures."
- Black owned?

And he said they have
a major project "in the works"

and he wants me to come
to their offices tomorrow.

- Aah!
- Holy shit!

- That's my girl!
- That's me, that's me.

You see? I knew it.
Your dream is coming true!

It's like the great
Lady Gaga once said,

"You can get 99 nos"...

I'm gonna stop you
right there!

Thank you.

Waiter!

Tye, I appreciate
the chivalry,

but we passed your place
two stops ago.

Three.

I just want to make sure you're
really okay about seeing Ian.

Yes.
That was a long time ago.

I'm fine...
I just don't see the upside

of hanging with him
at some wack party.

Ian's, like, the one thing
that can get you all...

Why?

That was a long time ago, okay?

I appreciate the concern,
but I am fine.

It's just all
these years later,

are we really still
talking about Ian?

Not if you don't want to.

I don't, so let's talk
about anything else.

- Got it.
- Yeah.

Well, I found out
my Forbes interview

has turned
into a two-page spread.

- What?
- Photo shoot and everything!

Tye, really?

Really.

A queer woman of color in tech
is going to be in Forbes.

Yes!
All those words.

If I was the kind of person
that said corny things

about how far I've come,
I'd say one right now.

So how are things
on the Shayla front?

Done.
That's a wrap.

What?
That was quick even for you.

The problem is
we work in the same building,

- so I can't just ghost her.
- Oh.

I have to do that thing

where I break up with myself
for her.

Mm.

I get it.

But I just need
to work on myself

so that I can only hope

to one day be good enough
for you.

That's good, though...
face-to-face breakup.

Look at you,
giving up your fuckboi degree.

#Growth! You know
what I'm talking about!

Over time, the culture
of a place evolves

as new people
and new ideas move in.

But the question is...

how much of the past

should be
respectfully preserved?

And how much
should be discarded

in order to evolve?

Upload your essays
by tomorrow night.

I'll see you next week.

Amazing lecture,
Professor Parks.

Top ten of the semester.

No, top five...
top three.

Thank you, Nora.

How do you do it?

Uh...
Thank you again, Nora.

No, literally,
how do you do it?

- How much is prep...
- Camille! Camille!

Jemele Hill and the other
panelists just arrived

for the woman's rally.

You gonna drop by?

Watch my speech,
join the pithy chants.

I'm definitely gonna try.

That means definitely no.

Oh, Dr. Goodman,
I'm going to the rally.

I'll walk with you.

Definitely try.

♪ What you say?
What that mean? I don't know ♪

♪ Top shelf, bitch,
I'm on the honor roll ♪

♪ Hot fire, make your nigga
stop and roll ♪

♪ That booty ooshy jiggle
like a jelly roll ♪

♪ Damn ♪

Camille?

Oh, my God, Brittany!

Hi!

- You're still going to Tony?
- Yes, every two weeks.

I can't believe
you introduced me

to my future husband
and my stylist.

Well, don't you owe
me a finder's fee?

Anything, girl.
And half goes to Ian.

Sorry.

Oh, God.
Sorry.

I shouldn't have mentioned Ian.

Don't be crazy.
It's fine. We're fine.

- Oh, good.
- Yeah.

Because I was so worried
you'd do something silly

like not show up to my party
to avoid seeing him.

No, what am I, 12?

- No!
- No.

Yes, of course I'm coming,
you know?

- I-I'm dying to come.
- Oh, good.

Like, literally nothing but
death would keep me from it,

and even if I do die,
I want them to dump

my dead body
at that damn party.

Don't make it weird.

- Copy that.
- Mm-hmm.

Sister Angie, Queen Angie,
I'm Cole Thompson.

And welcome
to Brother Pictures.

Mm-hmm.
It's nice to meet you.

We are a collective

of Black artists
for Black audiences...

Mm.

Working across the entire
African diaspora,

looking to educate and inspire.

Mm.

The Black voice
will no longer be asphyxiated

by the transmutation
to the Eurocentric perspective.

So...
is it a movie?

It's a revolution!

The Black story will be told

by the Black voice
through a Black gaze.

Okay, hold up.
You're using a lot of words.

You trying to Hotep me
into doing porn?

- No!
- Okay, good.

'Cause I been there,
and I done that.

Yeah, me too.

It's a new dawn where we dare
to free ourselves

from the white man's
story construct

and define a new art.

- Mm.
- A true Black art.

- That's what's up.
- My sister, are you ready

to be part of something
that's about something?

Okay, yes.
So what we doing?

It's Get Out,
the musical...

on Broadway.

Yeah.

I told
that emancipated nigga,

"Hell fucking no."

Oh, my God, Angie.
Customer.

Sorry.

I said, "No, thank you,"
to that emancipated nigga.

I cannot believe

that you're turning down
a potential singing job.

I can't believe that you would
think that I would say yes

to singing in the chorus
of a Get Out musical?

Is that the best you think
that I can get?

You know, thanks,
for the vote of confidence.

Whoa.

Okay, How did your job offer

somehow turn into my fault?

And please don't eat there.

Employees need a break room.

Employees need to work.

Oh, my God!

Retro-chic!

Oh, my God, I am dead!

Oh, my God!
I'm dead!

- Angie, are you not dead?
- Yeah, dead.

Oh, my gosh.
You look amazing!

And the proceeds
from your purchase

will go to feed
four homeless New Yorkers.

So it's like a splurge
without the guilt.

I need to think about it.

It's a dress, not a house.

Angie.

She's joking.
She's joking.

Can you not insult
the customers?

She is not a customer.

She's a "needs
to think about it."

She comes in here

three, four, five times a week
just looking at shit.

She a professional
window shopper.

Shit! Shit!

Girl, if that's the Amex bill,
I can explain.

No, no, the landlord
is jacking the rent again.

Did you take my Amex?

Girl, don't stress yourself out
about that

with that new rent news.

Oh, my God,
another $2,500 a month?

I'm barely
covering it as it is.

I cannot ask my parents
for more money.

Okay, you just try to sell
some more stuff around here.

I don't literally try
to do that every single day?

Okay, you are using
your cunt voice.

Sorry. Sorry.

It's okay.

It's just
that it's not just asking

my parents for more money.

It's that "poor you" look
on my mom's face

and followed by the obligatory
"you need a husband" lecture.

God, like I forgot
I was single?

- Mm-hmm.
- Thanks for the reminder, Mom.

No, I'm not gonna do it.
I'm not gonna ask her.

I won't.

I agree.

Except I have no choice
but to ask her.

And again, I agree.

Okay, let's make
this meal quick.

I'll get the check,
and we get out.

Okay, it is your money.
Who are all those people?

Our tense family dinner
is now a party?

Quinn!

What a casually dressed
surprise.

- Angela.
- Hey, Ms. Pat.

Daddy said it would be just us.

Oh, he's still stuck
at the office.

He didn't tell you that
we're hosting a fundraiser?

No. I definitely would
have remembered that.

Quinn.

Oh, my God.
Is that Damien?

That is definitely Damien.

- He looks so good.
- Girl, you messed up.

- Good to see you.
- You too.

Oh, that's right.
You two know each other.

Only from the entire year
that we dated, Mom.

Well, say hello
to his wife, Tina.

Oh, nice to...

meet the both of you!

Wow! The two of you.

You look so... happy.
You're so happy.

Everybody's happy!

I'm gonna go now.

No, you're here now.
You must meet Isabela.

Quinn.

Your mom has told me
so much about you.

Mm.
Any of it positive?

Quinn, this is
Isabela Benítez-Santiago.

She will beat AOC's record

as the youngest member
of Congress.

Um, I've got to win first,
but...

Details.
Isabela's an advocate

for people of color
and poor people

and poor people of color,
very intersectional.

I think she would make
a wonderful mentor for you.

Great.
I was literally just saying

how much I needed a mentor
who was much younger.

So you said you have something
to talk about.

Uh, well...

Oh, Quinn's business
is failing,

and she needs money fast.

- Thank you.
- I'm sorry, girl.

I can't think.
Hot Damien has a pregnant wife.

Just a splash more gin.
Uh-uh, big splash.

Pour it! Pour it!
Pour it! Pour it!

Don't be greedy.
It's not yours, come on.

For the love of God,
just give her the whole bottle.

Oh, thanks, Mrs. J!

All right, so how much?

Well,
it's just that the landlord

is suddenly raising
the rent again, so...

$2,500.

Just a loving thought, dear...

instead of me giving you money
to keep your business afloat

and then you turn around
and give that money to charity,

why don't we just cut out
the middleman,

and I write you a check
for your charity?

But I'm a designer, Mom.

Of course you are.

But your father and I cannot be
your only paying customers.

You're not.

I just need a little more
seed money, and then...

And then and then and then...

Poor Quinn.

Now not so poor Quinn.

Damn, Quinn.

The car is still
nine minutes away.

Mm.
I hope he's cute.

Did I tell you
I blew my last Uber driver?

Yes, you did.

God, she's insufferable.

True, but she also wrote you
a check.

With contempt...
that is not a woman

who is happily supporting
her daughter.

Yeah, but you got it.

And anytime someone
gives you something for free,

you pay in listening
to their shit about it.

And, sweetie, there are
harder ways to earn $2,500.

I know, I know.

And I recognize my privilege.
I do, and I am grateful for it.

It's just, why has she always
got to be such a fucking...

- Here's the real party.
- Oh!

Hi. It was really great
to meet you tonight.

You are almost worth risking
jury duty to register to vote.

It's nice to meet you, too.

And your mom is so cool.

Eh...

She raised a lot of money
for me tonight.

Oh, well, that's because
she really believes

in what it is you're trying
to do, and that must be nice,

because I never seem to live up
to her expectations, so...

- Mm.
- That must suck.

But I guess a good part
of coming from nothing

is no one
ever expects anything, so...

Let's agree
to fuck expectations

and just accept each other.

Ooh, my Uber's here.
Ciao, ladies.

She really does make
a wonderful mentor.

Car.

Ooh, if he's cute,
do not cock-block me.

Mmm.
That's some good wine.

- Hey.
- Shayla, hi.

I actually have a meeting
in a few, so...

Oh, I do, too.

So let's just get into this.

You are an amazing,

intelligent,
phenomenal woman.

Look, let me
stop you right there,

because you're the one
who's phenomenal.

But I agree.
You deserve someone better.

- I-it's not you.
- It's me.

- And I really just need to...
- Work on myself.

And it seems we're just...

On two different paths
right now.

Wait. Are you trying
to break up with me?

It's gonna be okay.

You're obviously not happy,
and you deserve someone better.

No, you're obviously
not happy,

and you deserve someone better.

This is my move.
I do this.

You're better off without me.

No. No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.

I'm being selfless
by letting you live without me.

I'm the one breaking up
with myself for you.

But are you, though?

Oh, nuh-uh, no.

Hey, you don't get to make me
the thirsty one.

No one said "thirsty."

Come on, now,
you're better than this.

No! I'm not better than this!
You are!

- Goodbye.
- You goodbye. You goodbye!

Ciao! Poof! Be gone!

Poor Tye.

I'm sorry you are taking this
so hard.

Ah!

I broke up with her!

Girl, who cares
who said it first?

You wanted to break up
with her anyway!

But that was my move!
Fuck Shayla!

Actually,
fuck anybody but Shayla.

Now, you know what they say.

The best way to get over
old pussy is new pussy.

Mm-hmm.

But, Angie,
maybe they should stop

objectifying women as pussy.

I'm just saying.

It's 2021!
Women are the new men.

Does that mean you all will
stop returning my texts, too?

Listen, I'm just trying
to get my confidence back.

I'm gonna find me a piece,
smash her,

then smash my two-day-old
beef and broccoli.

I've aged it perfectly.

Ooh, and speaking
of aged perfectly...

Ooh-wee!

Mm, mm, mm.

Hey, sexy.

Hey, sexy, yourself.

And here we are...

three straight girls
who could be somewhere else.

And where do you have to be?

It is Hometowns
on The Bachelorette tonight.

Girl, why would you not lie
and make up something cool?

Damn!

Oh, my God,
she always does this.

Look at her go!

Every time we come with her
to a gay club,

she always swears
that she's gonna ride or die.

- Oh, she gonna ride.
- Mm.

Jesus, it take me longer
to order McDonald's.

Ooh, who want's McDonald's?

♪ Throw it back,
give it back, back, yeah ♪

♪ Tag me in,
I'ma tag back, yeah ♪

♪ Goin' 12 rounds,
hittin' back to back ♪

♪ Only 12 rounds,
can you handle that?

♪ Need a big dog
for my tiny cat ♪

♪ From the windows to
the walls to the welcome mat ♪

I never do this
on the first night.

Me either, baby,
but you're special.

Oh. Really?

Yeah.
Focus.

♪ Get some air, like whoo ♪

♪ Grab a chair, like whoo ♪

♪ Flip my hair, like whoo ♪

♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo ♪

♪ Get some air, like whoo ♪

Hello...

Amy?

Allison?

What was her name?

Babe...

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yo, did this bitch
eat my beef and broccoli

and bounce?

What the fuck?

Aah!

♪ Keep it fresh, dope girls ♪

♪ Hop off the jet,
and I'm feeling fresh ♪

Hi, Ian.

Ian, right?

Hi, Ian.

Hi, Ian.

Hi, Ian.

♪ Girls rockin' Baby Phat,
Dookie chain on... ♪

Hi, Ian.

Hello.

Greetings.
How's cooking school?

I hope it was worth it.

I hope it was worth it.

What's good, my nigga?
What's good, my nigga?

I'm doing very well, baby.

I'm not doing that well.

♪ Got a dope girl pose
with my dope girl clothes ♪

Oh, Ian, what's up?

Hey!

♪ Yeah, dope girls ♪

Hey, Ian.
What's up?

Hey, Robin.

I can't. I have this
party thing I have to go to.

One drink, sure.

I see somebody
got the party started.

Hey.

You like tequila?
I like tequila.

Mm. Mm, mm.

Ah.
Oh, is that for me?

Oh, no.

I have to go to this
engagement party afterwards.

Oh, that's sweet.

Hey, bartender.

- Another one, now. Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.

Coming right up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Are we finally celebrating?

Are these the drinks

when you tell me
I'm officially full-time?

In which case, this overpriced
glass bowl is for you.

Here you go.

These are the drinks
where I tell you

that I just got suspended.

I'm out!

Wait, what?

- More shots, please.
- Coming right up.

- Wait. What happened?
- Mm.

The future happened.

But instead of flying cars
and vacations to the Moon,

we got trigger warnings

and the return
of cloth diapers.

Okay, I'm not following.
Why did they suspend you?

Because of what I said
at the rally yesterday.

Or sort of said.

I was talking
about how abortion isn't new.

There's always been ways

that women have controlled
their ability to reproduce.

And someone shouts out,
"Not all women can reproduce!"

And I said,
"I mean biological women!"

Then someone shouts back,

"Biology's
a Western construct!"

And I don't know what the fuck
they're talking about.

All of a sudden, I'm in
a debate about what is a woman,

what is not a woman,

which has nothing to do

with the speech
that I was trying to make.

And then the Trans-women
of America Association

sends out this statement that
I should be publicly censured

for saying
they weren't real women.

And then
the Infertility Defense Fund

say I'm not taking
their pain seriously.

And the Alliance
for the Strategically Barren

says that I'm shaming them
for not wanting children.

And then I get this letter
from the SPCA...

...that says I'm not allowed

to adopt a dog
for the next five years.

You could still get a cat?

No one wants a cat, Camille!

These mass-rally things,
they go sideways so fast.

I'm sorry.

Shit.

They're putting in
my replacement next week.

About the promotion...

Wait.

So what does this mean
for my future?

I don't know, Camille.

But whatever it is,
I promise you,

it's looking a whole shitload
better than mine.

Hey, hey.
Más... más tequila.

Two more coming up.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Camille!

- Hi!
- Hey!

How romantic is this?

Paul and I watch Titanic
at least once a week.

Yes.

But doesn't he die
in the end?

Please don't bring any
negative energy into my party.

No, of course not.

Okay.

But to that end,
I got this really weird,

uh, bad work news,

and so I wanted
to say congratulations,

and I wanted
to drop this off to you.

Oh, so you came
to my engagement party

to tell me you don't want
to come to my engagement party.

No! No, no!
I... I want to be here.

- It's just...
- Oh, good!

I was just telling
our spiritual advisor

there are two people I want to
see tonight, you and...

Oh...

Ian! Aah!

- Aah!
- Ah, Ian!

Fuck.

I'm proud of you.

Camille.

Camille.

Ian!

Hi.

Um, ah...

Oh, that's awkward.

Uh, sorry.

I wasn't sure of the proper,
you know, etiquette.

Right, right, or ex-tiquette.

You know, because
we're exes, so...

That's what we are.

Yeah. It was stupid.

Um, so, hi.

Uh, how...
how long you visiting for?

Oh, no, I'm back now,
for good.

Oh, wow.

Ah, no luck finding the loo.

Oh, okay.

Um, Camille,
this is Mira.

- Mira, Camille.
- You're gorgeous.

Okay, I have needed to pee
the entire Uber here.

Have you seen a bathroom?

Ah, um, thank you.

I mean, no,
I haven't seen the bathroom.

I, um, um...

I was just saying thank you
for saying that I'm gorgeous.

You're stunning.

You're sweet.

Ian?

Uh, yeah, let's...
let's go find you a bathroom.

Uh, we'll catch up in a bit?

Yeah. Yeah.
Just try to stop me.

Till we catch up later.

I'm just...
Okay, stop talking, Camille.

Girl, I was literally
just about to call you.

- Ian brought a date.
- Oh, no.

On a scale from zero
to Rihanna, how bad we talking?

She's fucking British, Tye.

Oh, he got him
a Kate Middleton.

He's not just here
for the party.

He's here for good.

But it's not good.
I ran away again.

I'm... I'm hiding
in the kitchen.

I'm that basic bitch.

Do you need me
to come save you?

No, no, no.

I just need to make my getaway.

Oh, God, he's been standing
by the exit forever.

As soon as he moves,
I am literally running.

And you know what else?

I think I might lose
my promotion, too.

Like, what is going on?

This has to be
that Saturn thing on my hand.

Oh, no.
This is bad.

You're giving credence
to my cousin's palm reading?

But something
definitely is up.

You know that piece
I left the club with?

She ate me out, ate my food,
and then she dipped!

No note, no text, no nothing.

Who the fuck does
she think she is, me?

There you are!

- Hey!
- Ah, game time!

Please join us
for a super-fun round

of Who Knows Brittany Best?

I do!

You do!

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Cheese puffs are ready!

I have to get out of here.

Just breathe.

Don't get all Camille
about this.

Right.

What?

Let's try this again.

This'll be the one.

What is Brittany's favorite
Bette Midler movie?

No, Paul!
Fuck you!

How do you not remember

my favorite Bette Midler movie
is Beaches?

You told me
it was Hocus...

Phew.

Where you going?

Oh.

Hi.

Um, I, um, have this thing
that I have to do, so...

No, you don't.

No, I don't,
but this party sucks.

It's Paul and Brittany.
What do you expect?

Of course you're out here
getting high.

Oh, relax.
It's legal now.

No, it's not.

You sound like my mother.

How is Regina?

Still always asking
about you.

Here.

You ain't gonna get arrested.

Hold on, hold on.
Easy there, tiger.

Yeah, I feel like the last time
I was really high was with you.

- No.
- Yeah.

Yeah?

Uh, Britt
and Paul's game night.

Mm.

Remember that?
Oh, my gosh!

Can you imagine how absurd
their wedding's gonna be?

Like, I think I heard
something about stilt walkers.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah, I'm definitely gonna
have to fake an illness

to get out of that.

- I almost did that tonight.
- Yeah, me too.

You know
I saw you the other night?

At a open mic.
I just didn't say anything.

Really?

That's weird.

Why didn't you say anything?

I just, uh...

I don't know.

Seeing you was...

I don't know. I just kind of
got overwhelmed, you know?

- Yeah.
- I got so much to say,

I don't even know
where to start.

I mean, I was hoping
you'd be here tonight, though.

You look good.

Thanks.
So do you.

Like I remember.

Except for you cut your hair.

Mm. You like it?

Yeah.
It, um, it suits you.

Thanks.

Um, I should probably go,
because I have,

uh, this work and stuff
I have to get to, so...

- Yeah, I'm gonna, um, go.
- Stay...

if you want.

♪ I want you around ♪

- ♪ Around ♪
- ♪ Around ♪

♪ I want you around ♪

- ♪ Around ♪
- ♪ Around ♪

♪ I want you around ♪

You done smoking?
Ah.

The party games are over.

Ended in a lot of tears.

It was hilarious.

This one despises games.

Oh, is that right?

Um, so I'll...
I will see you guys later.

- Okay, nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, my gosh.

I am so ready to dance.

Yeah?

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ I talk a lot of shit ♪

♪ Yeah, I talk a lot of shit ♪

♪ Make it look easy
for me to fall back ♪

♪ But I be full of it,
I'm the first one to admit ♪

♪ I ain't really over you
like that ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ I miss you, I miss you ♪

♪ I be scrollin' through
your page and all that ♪

♪ I miss you,
yeah, I miss you ♪

♪ My feelings
never made a move ♪

♪ But I'm trying
to convince... ♪

♪...myself to forget
about it, forget about it ♪

♪ I'ma forget about it ♪

♪ Already told myself
that I could live without it ♪

♪ I'ma live without it, aw ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm over, over, over,
over you ♪

♪ I'm over, over... ♪

Hey.

Hey.

I was gonna give you a call,
but you changed your number.

Yeah. I was, uh, I was getting
all these calls from China.

Well, actually, they could
have been from anywhere,

but the person who was calling
was speaking Chinese,

which I don't know, so
I didn't know what she wanted.

Yeah, I was getting them
so much that I even thought

about learning Chinese,
just so I could tell this woman

I'm not who she's looking for,

but that seemed
like a lot of effort.

Am I still talking about this?

I got to get something
off my chest.

Wait.

Me first.

I also saw you at open mic.

And I was afraid to say hi...

because I might not
just say hi.

I might kiss you,

like I did

and say I made a mistake.

I know it.
My friends know it.

None of us say it, but...

...it was a mistake.

I should have at least tried.

I shouldn't have let
the distance keep us

from being together.

And now that you're back...

...I think we should give us
another shot.

Okay.

I just poured out
my heart to you.

It's your turn.
It's called reciprocity.

Say something.

Um, Camille...

Yes.

...uh,

...I'm engaged.