Hard Quiz (2016–…): Season 7, Episode 21 - Global Financial Crisis, Miles Davis, Jackass, Hamish and Andy - full transcript

Tom Gleeson has a fistful of questions for anyone who dares covet his Big Brass Mug. Lining up are experts on the global financial crisis, jazz legend Miles Davis, irreverent stunt team Jackass, and comedians Hamish and Andy.

ANNOUNCER: Tonight on Hard Quiz...

Expert subject, Jackass.

Expert subject, Miles Davis.

Expert subject,
the global financial crisis.

Expert subject, Hamish & Andy.

Here's your host, Tom Gleeson.
Yes!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Hello!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
I lost my keys.

Welcome to Hard Quiz.

These contestants
Welcome to Hard Quiz.

These contestants
are Sydney apartment blocks.



Last one to collapse
will be tonight's Hard Quiz champion!

Last one to collapse
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

To be part of the show at home, go to
the ABC TV socials. Let's say hello.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

To be part of the show at home, go to
the ABC TV socials. Let's say hello.
G'day, Tom.
G'day, Tom.

G'day, Tom.
G'day, Tom.

G'day, Tom.
You're into Hamish & Andy.

What do you love about
You're into Hamish & Andy.

What do you love about
their mainstream entertainment?

Ahh! Good point, Tom.
They're, I don't know, likeable.

Ahh! Good point, Tom.
They're funny.

They're Aussie...comedy legends.
They're funny.

They're Aussie...comedy legends.
TOM GLEESON: Mm-hm.

I mean, you could probably
learn a thing or two from them.

I mean, you could probably
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)



Have you met them?

Uh...

..no.

(LAUGHTER)

You said you met them
in the audition.

Did I?
TOM GLEESON: Yeah.

I mean, I went to their last show.

I guess I...I met them, maybe at
the distance I am to you, but not...

OK. I thought you saw them
at the London Olympics.

Yes.

But, again, I was in the...in the...
TOM GLEESON: Hang on.

You can't even answer questions
on your own (BLEEP) memory, Tom.

(LAUGHTER)

Now, you once waited
at the Adult Industry Awards.

Mmm.
Were you the head waiter?

No.
(LAUGHTER)

No, Tom.
You were just a regular waiter?

Just a regular waiter, yes.
What did it involve?

Serving porn stars and
stuff like that at the awards and...

..yeah, a lot of mischief, I guess,
that the, uh, people got up to,

a lot of stray hands and stuff, uh,
groping and things like that.

OK. Alright. Just calm down.
You're on the ABC now.

(LAUGHTER)
I did...I didn't do the groping.

'Cause if there's allegations, then
we have to follow through with them,

'cause...
'cause concealing them is a crime.

I'm just saying. I...anyway. We're
on the ABC. We've gotta be careful.

(LAUGHTER)
TOM GLEESON: Zac.

(LAUGHTER)
Hi, Tom.

You're an economist who specialises
in the global financial crisis.

(LAUGHTER)
Afraid so.

TOM GLEESON:
Did you watch Hard Quiz and thought,

"These subjects
aren't boring enough"?

You thought you'd come in and...
(LAUGHTER)

You thought you'd come in and...
..fix it?

Yeah, pretty much. I...I thought
it could, uh, only get more dull.

So, where were you when the GFC hit?

I was actually, uh, in the US,
studying, um, my undergrad degree,

and, uh...
uh, it was hard because they kept on

changing the content every day.

They'd come in and say, "Look,
I told you this yesterday," uh,

"but, actually, now," uh,
"this is how the world works."

So there was no precedent
for what was going on at the time?

I think it was a...
a pretty unique situation

I think it was a...
for...for most people involved.

Now, when COVID hit, did you think,
for...for most people involved.

Now, when COVID hit, did you think,
"Great! Another financial crisis"?

(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS) Uh...no, no.

I mean, I'm a university lecturer
now, so...not, uh...

..not great for COVID, but...

"I can't wait to study this later."
Yeah. (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHTER)
You were in a barbershop group.

It's a pretty massive one.
(LAUGHTER)

It's a pretty massive one.
TOM GLEESON: Actually, you look like

you're all working
at the Adult Film Industry Awards.

(LAUGHTER)
Are you in the photo too, Tom?

Uh, no. No.
TOM GLEESON: No. OK.

They went onto Australia's
Got Talent - is that right? -

after you left?

Yeah. Yeah.

They, uh...
(LAUGHTER)

..they sold out,
went to commercial TV,

but I'm here for the real glory
on the ABC.

but I'm here for the real glory
(LAUGHTER)

They don't clap
(LAUGHTER)

They don't clap
when you pander to them.

They don't clap
(LAUGHTER)

That's what I've found.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

TOM GLEESON: Allan.
Hello, Tom.

What do you like most about Miles -
the jazz or the heroin?

Nah. The jazz definitely.
(LAUGHTER)

What do you like about his playing?
Just his sound, his tone, his style.

What do you like about his playing?
Just about everything, Tom. Yeah.

Now, you've brought your trumpet.
Is that right?

Yes, I did.

Oh, can you...
can you show us a little bit?

(LAUGHS) Alright.
(LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I...I wrote something for you, Tom.

OK.

(PLAYS HARD QUIZ THEME)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Yes!

Wow.

Now, you played the last post
at Melbourne Airport.

ALLAN: Mmm.
TOM GLEESON: Why was that?

Were you paying your respects
to Tiger Airways closing down?

Were you paying your respects
(LAUGHTER)

I've been doing that
(LAUGHTER)

I've been doing that
for a number of years now,

and it's just
something really special to me,

and the airport rings me each year
for Anzac Day

and for Remembrance Day,
so that was last year,

and I was actually
on the tarmac doing that

for...for the first time,
and that was, um, during COVID,

and, yeah, it was a...
a very special occasion.

and, yeah, it was a...
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Were you tempted to jazz it up a bit?
(LAUGHTER)

Were you tempted to jazz it up a bit?
(IMITATES JAZZY TUNE)

(LAUGHTER)
No? OK.

Marisa.
Tom.

Marisa.
You're into 'Jack-arse'.

Can I call it 'Jack-arse'?
No, you can't.

'Cause I can't call it 'Jack-ass'.

Yes, you can, because it's an ass.
TOM GLEESON: Oh.

Yes, you can, because it's an ass.
It's not referring to your...

Me saying 'ass'
It's not referring to your...

Me saying 'ass'
just doesn't sound right.

(LAUGHS)
"You asshole."

(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER)

If you're into Jackass, that explains
(LAUGHTER)

If you're into Jackass, that explains
why half the answers on my cards

If you're into Jackass, that explains
say "In the balls."

Um...
(LAUGHTER)

You used to throw yourself
down sets of stairs

You used to throw yourself
even when no-one was watching.

Is that right?
Yeah.

TOM GLEESON:
As a bit of a Jackass thing?

Yeah, just to...
to see what would happen. Yeah.

Yeah, just to...
(LAUGHTER)

So you've watched Jackass,
(LAUGHTER)

So you've watched Jackass,
you go, "That's cool,"

and then you just throw yourself
down a flight of stairs?

Yeah.
TOM GLEESON: And you didn't film it?

No.
Filming it's key.

(LAUGHTER)
I know, but I didn't have a camera.

I threw meself down some stairs.
That was just to avoid being on Q+A.

Um...
(LAUGHTER)

Now, I know you're afraid of spiders.
MARISA: Mmm.

It would be pretty Jackass if I put
one under your podium, wouldn't it?

Don't... (BLEEP). No.
(LAUGHTER)

And you're on camera this time too.
Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

Did I or didn't I?

(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER)

Seriously gonna shit myself.
TOM GLEESON: Yeah, I know.

It's alright. Don't worry about it.
I was telling the truth. It's there.

(LAUGHTER)
(LAUGHS)

Don't! Tom!
(LAUGHTER)

Don't! Tom!
Let's play, hard!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

ANNOUNCER: Win or lose five points.

Steal an answer, double points.

I'll ask each of you five questions
on your expert subject.

Right, you get five points. Wrong,
I will take five points from you.

The rest of you can steal at any time
to get double points.

Let's start with Marisa
and her expert subject, 'Jack-arse'.

Let's start with Marisa
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

By the way, with the spider
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

By the way, with the spider
under your podium, I was joking.

By the way, with the spider
Mmm.

Or was I?
(LAUGHTER)

Most of the Jackass team met
through their work on Big Brother,

a '90s magazine
devoted to what street pastime?

Marisa.
Skateboarding.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

That's Wee Man, one of the cast,
also a pro skateboarder.

For a magazine article, Johnny
Knoxville apparently shot himself

to test out a bulletproof vest.

That's how he first got noticed. He
was just, like, way ahead of TikTok.

He was, like, "I need to get
attention. I'll sh...get..."

(IMITATES GUNSHOT)
MARISA: Yeah.

"How cool's that?"
(LAUGHTER)

"How cool's that?"
A talent showcased in the films,

Jackass member Dave England
A talent showcased in the films,

Jackass member Dave England
is best known

for performing what bodily function
on command?

Marisa.
Pooping.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

TOM GLEESON: This is an image of
what's known as the Poo-cano stunt.

Where is Dave in this photo?
what's known as the Poo-cano stunt.

Where is Dave in this photo?

That green hill
that you see in the middle,

that's his butt.

TOM GLEESON: OK. (LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER)
He's poking up through...
TOM GLEESON: We can work it out.

He's poking up through...
TOM GLEESON: We can work it out.

We can work it out. It's fine.
Yep.

We can work it out. It's fine.
(LAUGHTER)

Inspired by artist Liu Bolin,

Johnny Knoxville devised
Inspired by artist Liu Bolin,

Johnny Knoxville devised
the Invisible Man stunt,

where he gets painted
into a background

where he gets painted
to deceive what aggressive animal?

Marisa.
to deceive what aggressive animal?

Marisa.
A...a bull.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

How did it play out?
Uh, not well.

How did it play out?
He actually did a full flip rotation

and you can see
his feet marks on the top...

(LAUGHTER)
..where the tree is.

A producer on the movies and
making a cameo in Jackass Number Two

A producer on the movies and
as this elderly woman

is Oscar winner Spike who?

For the steal, it's Tom!
Jonze?

For the steal, it's Tom!
TOM GLEESON: Correct!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
TOM GLEESON: Correct!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
TOM GLEESON: Double points to you.

TOM GLEESON:
Last question in your set, Marisa.

The transition from TV to film

brought a significant escalation in
stunts, with Steve-O declaring he was

"down to get hurt really bad now"
due to getting what for free?

Marisa.
Health insurance?

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Their collective injury list is
estimated to have cost US$24 million.

Their collective injury list is
(AUDIENCE MURMURS)

Next set of questions
(AUDIENCE MURMURS)

Next set of questions
is for Allan on Miles Davis.

Next set of questions
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

OK. You ready, Allan?

18-year-old Miles Davis

spent his nights
at New York's famous jazz strip

and his days studying
at which performing arts school?

Allan.
Juilliard.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Yeah, he actually quit Juilliard
because what they were teaching him

Yeah, he actually quit Juilliard
was "too white".

Davis's second collaboration
with revered composer Gil Evans

includes the song The Duke
from the album Miles WHAT?

Allan.
Miles Ahead.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

TOM GLEESON: There's Gil conducting
Miles, who's playing the durry.

(PUFFS)
(LAUGHTER)

In 1949, on his first trip
out of the US to perform in Paris,

Davis was introduced
to a circle of creatives,

Davis was introduced
including which Spanish artist?

Zac for the steal.

Dali?
TOM GLEESON: Incorrect.

It's wide open.
I was gonna say that.

(BUZZER)
Time's up. Picasso.

Yeah, Pablo Picasso.
Mmm. Mmm.

After meeting Jimi Hendrix
in the late '60s,

Davis was inspired to play
the trumpet like an electric guitar,

Davis was inspired to play
notably through what type of pedal?

Allan.

A fuzz pedal?

Incorrect. It's wide open!

(BUZZER)
Time's up. Wah-wah.

Wah-wah?
TOM GLEESON: Yeah.

He used to plug it into
the wah-wah pedal, like Jimi Hendrix.

"Wah-wah-wah, wah..."
(LAUGHTER)

(PUFFS)

(LAUGHTER)

TOM GLEESON:
Last question in your set, Allan.

His only leading role
in a feature film,

Davis stars alongside Colin Friels
in which Australian movie?

Davis stars alongside Colin Friels
Allan.

Dingo.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
TOM GLEESON: Alright.

Time now for Zac
and the global financial crisis.

Time now for Zac
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Let's immerse ourselves
in some financial misery, Zac.

(LAUGHTER)

The first major corporate casualty
of the crisis occurred in 2008,

when investment bank J.P. Morgan
agreed to pay $2 a share

to purchase which failing rival?

Zac.
Bear Stearns.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

The sale went through at $10 a share,
but a year earlier, it was $170.

The only thing that's
dropped in value that steeply since

is the ABC's backlog
of Chris Lilley merchandise.

(LAUGHTER)

2015 film The Big Short
spices up the description

2015 film The Big Short
of the GFC's primary causes

by having which Aussie star
of the GFC's primary causes

by having which Aussie star
explain them from a bubble bath?

Tom for the steal!
Margot Robbie?

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
TOM GLEESON: Double points to you.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I like the way you pretended not
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I like the way you pretended not
to remember that for a split second.

I like the way you pretended not
(LAUGHTER)

For a split second,
you're, like, "Oh...

"..do I want my partner to...

"Margot Robbie!"

(LAUGHTER)

Leading to mass foreclosures
(LAUGHTER)

Leading to mass foreclosures
were risky loans given to people

Leading to mass foreclosures
with no income, no jobs or assets,

referred to
by what martial-arts-themed acronym?

NINJA loans.

TOM GLEESON: Correct.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

With its economy
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

With its economy
one of the worst hit by the GFC,

which country had to take out
a $2.1 billion loan

which country had to take out
from the International Monetary Fund?

Zac.
from the International Monetary Fund?

Zac.
Iceland.

Zac.
TOM GLEESON: Correct!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Yeah, two months after they took out
the loan, their government collapsed.

Yeah, two months after they took out
Last question in your set, Zac.

In honour of the Rudd government's
$52 billion GFC stimulus package,

Kogan released a 37-inch LCD TV
with what name?

(BUZZER)
Time's up.

The KEVIN37.

(LAUGHTER)

TOM GLEESON: The KEVIN37 cost...

..$900, the exact same amount
TOM GLEESON: The KEVIN37 cost...

..$900, the exact same amount
as the full stimulus cheque.

Last set in the Expert Round,
it's Tom and Hamish & Andy.

Last set in the Expert Round,
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

The Austereo Network
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

The Austereo Network
was originally planning

to air Hamish & Andy's
first national drive show

to air Hamish & Andy's
just four days a week

until the duo volunteered to do what
just four days a week

until the duo volunteered to do what
on Fridays?

until the duo volunteered to do what
Zac for the steal.

Pantless Fridays?

TOM GLEESON:
Pantless Fridays?

TOM GLEESON:
Incorrect. It's wide open.

I'm blank.

(BUZZER)

Time's up. Work for free.

Later becoming the name
of their production company,

Hamish & Andy's first TV show
had what title?

Tom.
Radio Karate.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

This was for Melbourne's
community TV station, Channel 31,

before Seven launched them
into a high-profile failure.

(LAUGHTER)

Everyone's forgotten, but I haven't.

(LAUGHTER)
Watch this.

G'day, everybody. Hamish here.

Firstly, to Tom and the gang,
commiserations.

Obviously,
Hard Quiz coming to an end,

um, now that me and Andy
are somebody's topic.

Obviously, we're
officially out of topics, so...

Obviously, we're
..congrats on a great run.

Um...

..having said that,
here is my question.

In Hamish & Andy's
Gap Year South America,

I had to partake in
an Amazonian coming-of-age ritual,

I had to partake in
even though I am of age,

uh, where I had to put my hands
into gloves filled with what insect?

TOM GLEESON:
For the steal, it's Marisa!

Fire ants.
TOM GLEESON: Incorrect.

Fire ants.
It's wide open.

(BUZZER)
Time's up.

(BUZZER)
Bullet ants.

AUDIENCE: Oh! Oh!
Bullet ants.

AUDIENCE: Oh! Oh!
Yeah, not fire ants. Bullet ants.

Yeah, it's the worst pain
humans can feel

outside of watching
their failed Channel 7 show.

(LAUGHTER)

Originating on Rove's talk show

in a sketch titled
Personal Space Invading

was what viral challenge?

Tom.

Ghosting.
TOM GLEESON: Correct!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

So, what's ghosting?

Uh, it's when you go
as close as you can behind someone
So, what's ghosting?

Uh, it's when you go
as close as you can behind someone

while they're walking
without them noticing.

So you're just, like,
walking in tandem
kind of thing.

TOM GLEESON:
Last question in your set, Tom.

TOM GLEESON:
In multiple podcast episodes,

Andy is accused
In multiple podcast episodes,

Andy is accused
of losing touch with the common man

for having a room
dedicated to simulating what...

Tom.
Golf.

TOM GLEESON: Correct!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

We've churned through their subjects.
Now let's churn through mine!

This week, I've been
really getting into the beach.

I like to remind myself
of all the places sand can go.

This round is multiple choice -
select your answers on your screens

then press the buzzer
to lock in the answer.

then press the buzzer
(READS QUESTION)

Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

The answer is:

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

(READS QUESTION)

The answer is...

..D - On the Beach.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

(READS QUESTION)

The answer is:

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
TOM GLEESON: Yeah.

The vinegar stops the stinging cells
from releasing more poison,

but water or urine can actually
trigger them to release more.

I actually thought those vinegar
stations were just for my chips.

(LAUGHTER)

(READS QUESTION)

The answer is:

(APPLAUSE)

Last question in my round's
worth double points.

Last question in my round's
(READS QUESTION)

The answer is:

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Alright. At the end of my round,
Allan, you're at the bottom on 5.

Get over here.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Allan, I feel like you need
to play the last post for yourself.

Allan, I feel like you need
(LAUGHTER)

I'll go home and practise, I think.

What went wrong?
I'll go home and practise, I think.

What went wrong?
Too much hot air, I think.

(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHS)
From me?

(LAUGHTER)
From me?

(LAUGHTER)
Out!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
TOM GLEESON: There he goes.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHS)

Yes! It's The People's Round!

ANNOUNCER: The People's Round.
Against the clock.

Scratch your armpit.
Play along at home.

Your time starts now.
Play along at home.

Your time starts now.

Who is the lead singer of Blondie?

Marisa.
Deborah Harry.

Yes! One of Aesop's fables
is The Boy Who Cried WHAT?

Tom.

Wolf.
TOM GLEESON: Yes!

Which common disease is known
by the Italian word for 'influence'?

Zac.

Influenza?
TOM GLEESON: Yes!

Jessica Tandy won an Oscar
for her role in Driving Miss WHO?

Marisa.
Daisy.

Marisa.
TOM GLEESON: Yes!

Sushi is wrapped with nori,
which are dried sheets of...

Tom.
Seaweed.

Tom.
TOM GLEESON: Yes!

Liz Cambage is best known
for playing which ball sport?

Tom.
Basketball.

Tom.
TOM GLEESON: Yes!

Literally meaning "Sacred blue"
is what French exclamation?

Marisa.
Sacre bleu!

Marisa.
TOM GLEESON: Yes!

Elected in '01 was
South Australian senator Penny WHO?

Zac.
Penny Wong.

Yes! Time's up!
Oh!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Alright.

At the end of The People's Round,
Tom, you're at the bottom on 35.

Get over here.
Bad luck, mate.
At the end of The People's Round,
Tom, you're at the bottom on 35.

Get over here.
Bad luck, mate.

Cheers, mate.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

What happened, Tom?

Just didn't have
the special skills, I think, Tom.

Out!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

There he goes.

Alright. Only two left. Who's
gonna be the Hard Quiz champion?

Marisa and Zac, get over here,
because it's time to play Hard Quiz.

Marisa and Zac, get over here,
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

ANNOUNCER: Jackass versus
the global financial crisis.

Hard Quiz.

Now, there can only be one
Hard Quiz champion,

who gets to take home
the limited-edition Big Brass Mug.

What will you do with the mug
if you win, Marisa?

I might build a trophy case for it,
actually.

TOM: Oh.
Actually build a trophy case for it.

TOM: Oh.
Because it's special - it's, like...

..Zac and I have...
you know, we've worked for this.

We've...we've earnt this.
It's not like Logies.

We've...we've earnt this.
They just give them out to anyone.

(LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Yeah, no, they don't give them out
to anyone. They give them to ME.

(LAUGHTER)
What about you, Zac?

Well, to be honest, Tom,
it looks like a bit of a, uh...

..a toxic asset to me, so I might
try and sell it to the US government

for a few million dollars.

(LAUGHTER)
for a few million dollars.

(LAUGHTER)
Ooh.

It's best of five,
penalty-shootout-style,

harder questions
on your expert subjects.

So it's Marisa's
knowledge of Jackass versus

Zac's knowledge of
the global financial crisis. (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHTER)
Let's play, hard!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER)
Let's play, hard!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Yeah, it's a show of contrasts,
isn't it?

Yes.
(CONTESTANTS LAUGH)

Marisa.
Tom.

Dubbed "Danger Ehren" for his
tendency to get grievously injured,
Ehren McGhehey risked a tooth
but wound up fracturing his face

Ehren McGhehey risked a tooth
but wound up fracturing his face

doing which stunt?
Ehren McGhehey risked a tooth
but wound up fracturing his face

doing which stunt?

Oh!

He's lost his tooth...

..twice,

..and it's the same tooth,
in both movies.

In Jackass 1, he lost it, and
in Jackass Two, he lost it again.

He also then had it pulled
by Bam's Lamborghini.

But I don't think
having your tooth pulled...

..by a Lamborghini

would end up fracturing your face.

So...

..I think it was probably

when they were doing the mini...

..motorcycles in the...

..shopping centre.

So...

..um...

..yeah.

(LAUGHTER)
TOM: OK.

The mini-cycles in the...
in the mini-mart.

Incorrect.
Oh!

Incorrect.
TOM: The correct answer is...

..the Lamborghini Tooth Pull.

Oh!
AUDIENCE: Oh!

Oh!
Damn!

Yeah, they tied fishing line
Damn!

Yeah, they tied fishing line
from his tooth to the Lamborghini

and drove off, which fractured
his face all the way up to his...

MARISA: Far out!
..eye socket.

AUDIENCE: Oh!
Did not know that.

What do they win
for doing these stunts?

Nothing.
Sound familiar?

(LAUGHTER)

Zac.

After falsifying bond prices

to conceal hundreds of millions
of dollars in losses,

which Credit Suisse executive
was sentenced to 30 months in prison?

In terms of outright fraud, I know
there was a...a fat-finger error,

but I don't think
that resulted in...

but I don't think
..jail time.

Oh.

I think...I don't think
he was with Credit Suisse,

I think...I don't think
but I'm gonna guess Bernie Madoff.

Incorrect.

The correct answer is
Kareem Serageldin.
Should have been easy to get.

There weren't many people
that were put in jail.
Should have been easy to get.

There weren't many people
that were put in jail.

No.
TOM: It's a short list.

No.
It was hard to prosecute

'cause it was too complicated
It was hard to prosecute

'cause it was too complicated
to explain to a jury.

Essentially,
that was one of the reasons.

They're, like,
"Oh, we can't get a conviction

"because the jury will be, like,
'Oh, it's so boring. Ugh...'"

(LAUGHTER)
Marisa.

In the second film,
Johnny, Ryan and Wee Man take on
the Anaconda Ball Pit.

After multiple bites,
Johnny declares,

After multiple bites,
"Alright. We've seized the snake."

What happens next?
"Alright. We've seized the snake."

What happens next?

Oh.

Well, they did seize the snake,

but he had...
Well, they did seize the snake,

but he had...

..bites all up and down his arm.
Um...

..but there was actually an...
an extra snake in the ball pit

and they forgot about
the second snake.

Correct.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Johnny had them put electrical tape
around their wrists

to protect their arteries.

Yeah.
But it didn't work, did it?

Yeah.
No. (LAUGHS)

Just blood shooting out
No. (LAUGHS)

Just blood shooting out
from the electrical tape.

Just blood shooting out
Yeah. Yep. Pretty much.

TOM: Zac.
As Lehman Brothers collapsed, angry
employees vandalised their building,

As Lehman Brothers collapsed, angry
employees vandalised their building,

putting up a photo
of two executives in tuxedos
As Lehman Brothers collapsed, angry
employees vandalised their building,

putting up a photo
of two executives in tuxedos

putting up a photo
with what film title underneath?

Oh.

So...

..chairman of Lehman Brothers,
Dick Fuld,

he was not widely loved,
uh, especially by the end.

he was not widely loved,
So in tuxedos, what film?

The Wolfs of Wall Street?

Incorrect.

The correct answer is...

..Dumb and Dumber.

Oh! Oh, wow.
..Dumb and Dumber.

Oh! Oh, wow.
TOM: Yeah.

The Lehman Brothers bosses
were very out of touch
with what was happening
on their trading floor.

with what was happening
on their trading floor.

COO Joe Gregory used to take
a helicopter to work every morning.
with what was happening
on their trading floor.

COO Joe Gregory used to take
a helicopter to work every morning.

COO Joe Gregory used to take
But then again, so do I.

(LAUGHTER)

Sometimes I lend the keys to Ita.

"Here you go."
(LAUGHTER)

"Here you go."
(LAUGHS)

TOM: Marisa.
Yep.

TOM: Marisa.
TOM: To appease broadcast standards,

MTV executives were constantly
reining in the show's exploits,

such as adding what precaution
to the Vomelette stunt?

such as adding what precaution
Oh.

Yeah. So they...

(LAUGHS) It's so stupid.

(LAUGHTER)
Um...

What, THIS is stupid?
(LAUGHS)

OK. Alright. Good to know.

Um...yeah.

So back in the early days,
they were really worried and scared

and hadn't amassed the weird body
of knowledge around risk management

that they had later on
in the series.

Oh, they...
they gained it eventually, did they?

Well, yeah.
OK.

Sort of THINK you know
how it's gonna go.

You never REALLY know...
TOM: Right.

..how it's gonna go.

Um, but in the Vomelette scene,
they all had hazmat suits on.

Um, but in the Vomelette scene,
They all wore hazmat suits.

Correct.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Do I want to know
what the Vomelette stunt is?

Uh, it's pretty self-explanatory.

Dave England
eats a bunch of ingredients...

Dave England
(TOM LAUGHS)

..and then throws it up
(TOM LAUGHS)

..and then throws it up
and then cooks it and eats it.

..and then throws it up
AUDIENCE: Oh!

Mmm! Yummy!

Zac.

In a 2009 PBS interview,

J.P. Morgan executive Blythe Masters

describes a financial product
J.P. Morgan executive Blythe Masters

describes a financial product
she invented as

describes a financial product
"a very, very simple idea".

What was it?

So I know they invented
What was it?

So I know they invented
a lot of products in those heydays.

And...in terms
of a very simple idea, I think...

And...in terms
..it would either be, uh,

CDSes, so a credit default swap,

which is kind of
just, like, insurance

which is kind of
against, uh, a bond going bankrupt,

or potentially a synthetic CDO -

collateral debt obligation.

Um, but...

..which one did J.P. Morgan invent?

I think I'll go with
the credit default swap,

'cause that is a simple idea
but pretty crazy as well. (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHTER)

Correct.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Marisa.

The musical sequence
at the end of Jackass Number Two

The musical sequence
features a house facade collapse,

a stunt that was originated onscreen
features a house facade collapse,

a stunt that was originated onscreen
by whom?

Buster Keaton.

Correct.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
TOM: Yeah.

There's, uh, Johnny's version.

And this is Buster Keaton's...

MARISA: Yeah.
And this is Buster Keaton's...

MARISA: Yeah.
..version.

He actually...he got it wrong
when he did the first take of it.
MARISA: Yeah.
..version.

He actually...he got it wrong
when he did the first take of it.
He moved off his mark and the facade

fell on him and folded him over
like a lawn chair.
He moved off his mark and the facade

fell on him and folded him over
like a lawn chair.
(LAUGHTER)
TOM: Zac.

(LAUGHTER)
TOM: Zac.

If you get this wrong, then, Marisa,
you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.

(EXHALES)
TOM: Zac.

(EXHALES)
Here's George W. Bush.

Here's George W. Bush.
Our entire economy is in danger.

So I propose
Our entire economy is in danger.

So I propose
that the federal government

reduce the risk
posed by these troubled assets

reduce the risk
and supply urgently needed money

so banks
and supply urgently needed money

so banks
and other financial institutions

can avoid collapse
and resume lending.

Amid the crisis, Bush asked Congress
to authorise the government spending
can avoid collapse
and resume lending.

Amid the crisis, Bush asked Congress
to authorise the government spending

up to how many US dollars
buying troubled assets?

So...the Troubled Asset
Relief Program, it's...

So...the Troubled Asset
..TARP is what it's called,

it was basically the, um...
..TARP is what it's called,

it was basically the, um...
the...the big bailout program.

it was basically the, um...
And...

..it was...it was in
the hundreds of billions of dollars.

And so I think, from memory,

it was $700 billion that they first
asked for and...and eventually got.

it was $700 billion that they first
Correct.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

It ended up costing much less
than that, as it turned out.

Marisa, if you get this right,
you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.

Marisa.

What's the title of the segment
that was cut from the third film

despite the team shooting
hours of footage

using hundreds of basketballs?

The name of it.

I think some of that footage
The name of it.

I think some of that footage
ended up in...

I think some of that footage
..3.5, in Jackass 3.5.

Uh, it...it took them so long.

There was...

..yeah, as you said,
hours and hours of Knoxville and...

..Dave and Jeff and...

..even Rob Dyrdek was involved in...
throwing basketballs,

and hitting them
with baseballs bats as well,

and hitting them
just to get the right...distance.

And it always ended
just to get the right...distance.

And it always ended
in a nut shot, obviously.

And it always ended
Um...

So, what's the title of the segment?
The title?

(EXHALES)

Basketball Nut Shots?

(LAUGHTER)

Close.

(SIGHS)

TOM: The correct answer is...

..Knoxville's Incredible Nut Shots.

Oh! I knew it.
Zac. You need this to stay in.

If you get it wrong, Marisa,
you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion.

Zac.

Quoted
at a 2008 Congressional hearing
Zac.

Quoted
at a 2008 Congressional hearing

was a cynical remark
by a Standard & Poor's employee,

who said that the agency
would provide a credit rating

even to a deal that had
been structured by what animals?

Look, I haven't read
this transcript, I gotta be honest.

Uh, it's clearly not a smart animal.

Or, at least, an animal

that's not particularly good
at structuring finance.

(LAUGHTER)

I'm gonna go and guess, if it's
something that's been done messily,

I'm gonna go and guess, if it's
it's probably done by a dog.

So I'm gonna guess dog.

Incorrect.

The correct answer is cows,
which means, Marisa,
Incorrect.

The correct answer is cows,
which means, Marisa,
you are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Alright, Zac.

You know what this means. Out!

(APPLAUSE)
You know what this means. Out!

(APPLAUSE)
There he goes.

(APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Congratulations, Marisa.
You are tonight's Hard Quiz champion!

Which means
you get the Big Brass Mug.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
And you get to do the sign-off!

Thanks for playing hard!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
And you get to do the sign-off!

Thanks for playing hard!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Don't hit me in the nuts!
Thanks for playing hard!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Don't hit me in the nuts!

(TRUMPET PLAYS HARD QUIZ THEME)

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation