Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 6, Episode 9 - The Evil Eye - full transcript

Richie and his pals perform a Halloween exorcism after Al Delvecchio's right arm is cursed to do the bidding of an old witch with the evil eye.

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪



POTSIE and RALPH:
♪ He did the Mash ♪

♪ He called it a smash ♪

POTSIE and RALPH:
♪ The Monster Mash ♪

♪ He did the Monster Mash ♪

♪ We were working in
the lab late one night ♪

♪ When our eyes
beheld an eerie sight ♪

♪ And when our
monster from his slab ♪

♪ Began to rise... ♪

Wait a minute, Pots.
This is a Halloween dance.

You're supposed to sound
like Bela Lugosi, not Pat Boone.

Let's take a break.

All right, okay,
we'll take a break.

It-it'll be all
right. We'll get it.

Boys, boys, look,
come here, look.

I'm not here. You don't know me.

You haven't seen me.

POTSIE and RICHIE: What?! Al!

So keep me covered.

Keep me covered till
I get to the bathroom.

- Al, come on.
- Act natural.

- I got to hide.
- You want to hide, Al?

Why don't you comb your hair

over your face and
pretend that you're...

Man, Al's really nervous.

He didn't even stay
for my punch line.

Yeah, yeah, we
better check this out.

Hey, wait, Rich... maybe he
doesn't want us to interfere.

- We'll interfere.
- Right.

He's disappeared.

- Well, he's got to be in here somewhere.
- Yeah.

Is she here yet?

Oh, Al, come on, man.

What's... what's going on here?

Old lady... she wants to get me.

I got to hide. Fear, fear, fear.

Calm, calm, calm.

Are you all right now?

Tell me, why are you
scared of an old lady?

Oh, Rich, I don't know
if I can talk about it.

Very frightening.
It's very scary.

Go ahead.

Well, she wants to
put a curse on me.

Oh, man.

I can't believe it.

That's really funny, Al.

You're acting this way
over a so-called curse?

Hey, guys, wait a minute.

I-I... I think Al's serious.

- I am serious.
- What?

You see, she's a DiMartino,
and I'm a Delvecchio.

And they've been fighting
in the old neighborhood

ever since I can remember.

Ah, come on, Al,
you must be joshing.

You can't believe in a curse.

I didn't until Uncle Dominic
made her mad once.

- Mm-hmm.
- What happened?

She gave him the evil eye.

Un malocchio.

I don't want to go into
detail, but they say,

ever since, he lives on
a lily pad and eats flies.

A frog.

Beats Arnold Burgers.

Even in the Twilight
Zone, I still got it.

Uncle Dominic used
to make jokes like that.

And then...

Come on, Al, this
is the 20th century.

There aren't witches
anymore, are there?

Of course, there aren't.

Look, Al, uh, we...

we got to get back
out there and rehearse,

but you got to calm down.

I'm sure this little old
lady is not after you,

so just relax, all right?

- Okay. Thanks, Rich. I'll try.
- Okay.

Yeah. How bad could
it be being a frog?

Oh, Potsie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You knew they wouldn't
understand about the evil eye.

Un malocchio.

It scares me every time.

No, they're not Delvecchios

or Rosselinis or Fonzarellis...

Of course. Fonzarelli.

Hello...

Anybody here?

Fonzie?

Witch?

Aah!

Heyyy. Who's there?

Heyyy. Bad imitation.

Oh, Fonz, come on in.

Wednesday night cleaning crew?

Instantaneous explanation, Al.

I'm sorry for breaking in,

but there's this
woman that's after me.

I get the picture.

What, you know this
woman that's after me?

Well, she's a witch.

It happens to all of us, Al.

Fonz, I'm desperate.
I came to you for help.

- Now, I need your help.
- I'm listening to your story.

- Go ahead.
- Well, you see what happened,

there's this little old lady...

so, you see, if she
gets me, then it's

good-bye, Arnold
Burgers; hello, flies.

All right. Let me get
this story straight.

- This chick is chasing you.
- Yeah.

- And this chick is a witch.
- Yeah, yeah.

I'm a little fuzzy on the,
uh, frog part, you know.

But, uh, what I got to
say to you is this, Al.

Beauty is skin deep.

Let it happen.

Perfectamundo.

But, Fonz, what am I
gonna do about the witch?

All right, Al, I'll
tell you exactly

what you do about
this chick, all right?

Unknown restaurant, dark.

Corner booth,
separate checks, huh?

Never mind, Fonz.

I'll go hide.

He's so shy.

I'll have our costumes
ready by tonight, Howard.

Marion, I look silly this way.

Oh, no, dear, that's
a very nice suit.

I'm talking about this costume!

Oh, come on, Dad.

Don't be a party pooper.

Yes, Howard, get in the spirit.

This is Halloween.

This is the night
of the supernatural,

the night when witches and
goblins roam the countryside

and the wind howls

and spirits rise
from their graves.

Oh, I scared myself.

Wasn't that Al?

Sorry for bursting in like this,

but she's out there somewhere.

I don't see her.

Who am I looking for?

Yeah, well, I told you, Mom.

- Remember the old lady?
- Yeah, the old lady.

She's following me.
She's following me.

I need help. I need help.

Al, don't you think you're
getting a little carried away?

Yeah, I guess so.

Hide me. Hide me.

He's getting carried away.

Look, if it'll help you any,

you're welcome to stay
in the guest room tonight.

Yes.

Oh, thanks.

Now, you're real friends.

Well, good night.

I'll see you in the morning.

What?

Al, it's only 6:30.

Isn't it a little
early to go to bed?

Oh, not really. I plan on
having trouble falling asleep.

Look, Al, just sit down
here and relax, huh?

I'm tense, Howard.

Yes, Al, relax.

Hey, everybody.

- Hey, Fonz.
- Arthur.

I've been looking
all over for you.

I got a surprise, gonna
put a snap in your trunks.

I feel like... I feel like that
guy from This Is Your Life.

Whoa. Al.

Here she is, an
old friend of yours,

waiting outside the door
just for you, brought her in.

Lovely people.

- Lovely house.
- How do you do?

Lovely.

Hello, Al.

I'm cursed!

Oh, she's got a curse doll.

Curse Delvecchio.

It's only fitting
that your right arm

should do my bidding.

Lovely people.

Lovely.

She's in control
of my right arm.

Hey, Al?

I'll bet she gets nicer
on the second date.

Well...

Well, boys, here's your orders.

Chocolate sundae, banana
split and a garlic necklace.

Thanks, Al.

- Oh...
- Come on.

Just playing it safe.
It wards off evil spirits.

Where's yours, Al?

It's too late for me, Pots.

Well, yeah, but
it's good to see you

up and around,
working again, Al.

Well... life goes on.

But for how long, who knows?

Once the evil eye
has winked at you.

Oh, Al, you don't believe
that old lady and her curse.

Curse.

Oh, thanks, Rich.

Are-are you all right?

All right? I'm doomed.

I'll go get your water.

He's a wreck.

- I'm telling you, the man is a wreck.
- Yeah.

I can't believe you guys.

I can't believe you aren't
wearing garlic necklaces.

It's guaranteed to keep
away the forces of darkness.

Ralph, there's
nothing to be afraid of.

Can't you see it's
all in Al's mind?

And he's building it up, he's
making it worse and worse.

You know, Rich is right.

My psychology
professor says that people

can talk themselves
into believing anything.

Sure, well, you notice
how every time we say

- the word "curse," he reacts?
- Yeah.

- So let's not say that word anymore.
- Okay. Okay.

Here's your water.

- You'll notice I'm using my left hand.
- Yeah.

- Oh, yeah, because of your...
- Potsie!

You almost said "curse."

Ah-ah!

Oh! Oh!

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no! Oh, no!

Does garlic work when it's wet?

It does in spaghetti sauce.

Al, you got to get
ahold of yourself.

Yeah, I mean, all
I said was "curse."

No, Al!

- Oh!
- Oh, gosh.

Oh, I'm sorry, Rich.

I'll just charge you
half price for that.

Look, Al, I know it's my
fault you're in this jam, right?

I mean, how did I know
that old lady was gonna put

a curse on you,
something like that?

What, what, what?
Oh, I get it, I get it.

He reacts to "curse."

Al! Al!

Sorry, Fonz. It's not me.

Yeah, I understand.

I understand, Alfredo.

And I think I got a
solution right here.

- Whoa? What solution?
- You got a solution? -What?

Dig it. Dig it.

I remember hearing about
a ceremony... right, Red?

A ceremony that, uh,
breaks curses, you know.

Hey, Al, get a hold
of yourself, man.

Oh, well, it's been
so long that I...

I forgot about it, but I
know what you're saying.

The old, uh, "remove
the curse" ceremony.

Right. Al, Al, there
we go. All right.

That's right. Now, look.

We'll all meet at
Richie's house, okay?

A little later on.

- Can you make it?
- Mm-hmm.

All right.

You smell like a pizza.

- Later.
- Later.

Oh, boy. I'll do anything.

You don't know what it is to
not have control over your hand.

Don't worry, Al. We're gonna
get rid of that curse for you.

Right.

Curse...

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

- Oh!
- Oh, pardon me.

It's not me. It's this hand.

This one.

Did you see that?

Oh, my hand is cursed!

I have no control!

Hello...

- Richard?
- Yeah.

Oh, uh, we're upstairs, dear!

Hurry and get in your costume!

Oh, I can't right now!

I got to set the living
room up for an exorcism!

Good, dear!

An exorcism?!

Yeah.

Well, it's true what they say.

Married people do
start to look alike.

That's not funny, Richard.

Now, what's all this
business about an exorcism?

Oh, well, the situation with Al

has gotten completely
out of hand, see,

so we're gonna have
this-this real hokey ceremony

to try and remove the curse.

You mean Al
believes in that curse?

Oh, come on. That's
ridiculous, Richard.

Well, not necessarily, Howard.

Mother Kelp had a
neighbor who was cursed.

Anyone who lives next to
your mother is cursed, Marion.

But, Dad, whether we believe
in it or not makes no difference.

Al believes in
this lady's magic.

So we're gonna give
him bigger magic, see?

We're gonna have
all kinds of things.

Like, uh, lightning...

And we're gonna have thunder...

Monsters...

All kinds of evil spirits.

That sounds like such fun.

I'd rather stay here than
go to the Leopard Lodge.

Oh, no! I spent seven
dollars for those tickets

and we're going... come on.

Who is this, dear?

That's Ralph Malph, honey.

Oh, no, it's Igor.

The bridge is washed out.

You have to spend the night.

Even bent over, I
got it, huh, Rich?

Did you get the stuff?
That's the important thing.

Right here.

Well, come on,
we better be going.

Okay, but be careful, dear,

you're wearing my favorite mop.

Joanie, hurry up!

Have fun, guys!

I'm off to find a
treasure trunk,

but I'd settle for
a pirate hunk!

Argh!

Come on, Captain Kidd...
We'll drop you off at Arnold's.

See you, mateys.

And you guys be careful.

There are strange
forces loose in the night.

- Come on. I need some help with this.
- All right.

I got the sign from
my dad's place.

Wait till you hear this,
Rich. Wait till you hear this.

Go ahead, ask me: who is it?

All right, who is it?

It's Igor and Eye.

Ralph, come on. Have
you got the fishing wire?

Yeah, fishing wire.

What are we gonna
do, hook us a ghost?

No, it's all part of the plan.

You see, we're
gonna take this stuff,

we're gonna hook
it to the chandelier,

then Potsie's gonna
hide behind the couch

and operate all
the special effects.

- Good.
- Yeah.

Hah! The door.

I'll get it and
scare his wits off.

Gotcha, Malph.

- Potsie.
- Hey, Rich.

Hey, that's great.

Rich, Rich...

I'm scared stiff. Help me.

Don't ever leave
me out there like that.

All right, Rich! Come on!

Yeah, hurry up.

I'm coming!

Aha!

I'm Merlin the Magician.

Sorry I was late, guys.

I was upstairs, uh,
sharpening my hat.

You get it? Sharpening the...

Hey, come on, guys,
can't you cover this up?

Yeah, we got a cover.

The great Merlin doesn't
do magic on an old door.

- All right.
- Lift the light.

All right.

All right, now, does
everybody know

what they're
supposed to be doing?

Right. You're the magician

and I'm your assistant.

And I do the hocus-pocus.

That's right. Have you got the
phonograph and the records?

- You bet.
- All right.

Check this out,
guys. Check this out.

Witches Top 20.

What do you think of this one?

"Ghoul of My Dreams."

That's him. That's him.

- That's Al. Get behind the sofa.
- Oh, okay, all right, all right.

- All right, all right...
- All right, now-now...

just remember...
Got to play it up big.

Oh, yeah...

Not that big.

We do have to convince him
that we're removing the curse.

All right, get ready.
Get ready... you...

Hi, Rich.

Sharp hat.

Oh, hi, Ralph.

Well, I'm here.

Curs-ed Al.

Look at that. It
even hears whispers.

I'd shake hands with you,
but I took safety precautions.

Oh, look at that.

Al, lie on the table.

- Come on, lie on the table.
- Do you think it's gonna work?

Of course it's gonna work.
Look, Fonzie got this ceremony

out of the same book
that the witch got her...

you-know-what for
you, so it's got to work.

Okay.

- Like this?
- Yes.

- Just lie down?
- Yeah...

- Okay, like that?
- Yeah.

- Just... Here, I'm okay now?
- All right.

- Oh, could I have some pillows?
- Oh.

All right.

Thank you, O helpful spirit.

Oh, that's nice.

- Al...
- Ah.

We'll know that the evil
has been cast from your body

when we see the Eye of Isis

and the Bones of Zeus.

Sam Zeus is dead?

I just talked to
him this morning.

Boy, you never know.

Silence!

And now to summon the spirits.

Do I hear the
"sir-een" call of music?

♪ I came here to rock,
so let's get rollin'... ♪

The flip side, O fiendish one!

I am calling on the spirits

of darkness.

Gather, O spirits,
and help cast out the...

you-know-what from
this pitiful hulk of a man.

Yeah... yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shh!

Enter, spirits!

Holy moley.

Thank you for coming.

I think it's working!

And now...

I call on the Eye of Isis.

Up, Isis. Up,
Thetis. Up, Medusa.

I call on the Bones of Zeus.

Hear me, spirits.

Arise... arise and
cast out this curse.

Presto change-o! Rotten tomato!

Arise and cast out the curse!

It's working! I saw the eye!

It's working!

- It's working!
- It's working!

Now he has seen the Eye of Isis.

If only he could see
the Bones of Zeus.

Welcome, O Bones of Zeus!

That Zeus is such a Potsie.

I saw 'em.

I think this is gonna work!

I want to try my hand.

I want to try my...

It's the... it's the witch!

Who calls upon the
spirits of darkness?

Who dares to challenge
my powers of evil?

Heyyy.

You dare to interfere
with my curse?

Let me tell you something, lady,
your curse is a lot of malarkey.

Yeah, right. That's good.

Hey, Al,

is her curse full of malarkey?

You got me, Fonz.

Malarkey?!

You will pay for your insolence!

Oh, hey, uh, I
already did that, see?

It's a very nice
likeness, isn't it?

Cost me about 15 smackers,

uh, ten for the
jacket alone... whoo!

Doubter!

Disbeliever!

Take this!

Now all the way around!

Fonzie, what's going on?

Oh, now take this!

That's the pits, lady!

Look, Fonzie, this
can't be happening!

You're absolutely right.

It ain't happening.

The good... the
good fairy saved him!

No, no, no, Ralph...
No good fairy,

no magic, no witches.

What we got here is
a wonderful old lady

who's a little
misguided, you know?

Oh! Magic!

Yeah, right.

I know what you've got

is the power of suggestion, huh?

- Listen, can I keep the doll?
- Sure.

It's Halloween. You
know, it's my treat.

Just a... little more
respect this time, all right?

Look at that.

Well, see, Delvecchio,

all the time you thought it
was a curse, you did it yourself!

Lookit...

- my hand, it's mine.
- Yeah.

All right, all right, now-now,
do me a favor now.

Just kiss and
make up, all right?

- Oh, Fonz...
- All right.

I understand.

Shake and make up.

Kidding. Just kidding.

Have a happy Halloween.

- Happy Halloween!
- Aw, thanks to you, Fonz.

♪ We were working in
the lab late one night ♪

♪ When our eyes
beheld an eerie sight ♪

♪ And a monster from
a slab began to rise ♪

♪ And, suddenly,
to our surprise ♪

♪ He did the mash ♪

♪ He did the monster mash ♪

POTSIE and RALPH:
♪ The monster mash ♪

♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪

♪ He did the mash ♪

♪ It caught on in a flash ♪

♪ The monster mash ♪

♪ He did the monster mash ♪

♪ The zombies were having fun ♪

♪ The party had just begun ♪

♪ The guests included Wolfman ♪

♪ Dracula and his son ♪

♪ Now, everything's cool ♪

♪ Drac's a part of the band ♪

♪ And now the monster
mash is the hit of the land ♪

♪ For you, the living, this
dance was meant, too ♪

♪ When you get to my door,
tell them Peter sent you ♪

POTSIE and RALPH:
♪ And do the mash... ♪

Hey, this is my costume.

Plant your lips on Gene Kelly.

I love kissin' in the rain.

POTSIE and RALPH: ♪ The mash ♪

♪ It caught on in a flash ♪

♪ The monster mash ♪

♪ Yes, do the monster mash ♪

♪ The monster mash. ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪