Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 6, Episode 6 - Kid Stuff - full transcript

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪



Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

Decent pay for musicians.

Pass him by, folks.

Yeah, we're on
strike. Boycott Al.

Hi.

What's going on? What happened
to the negotiations with Al?

Rich, talk's cheap
and Al's cheaper.

- We're men of action.
- That's right.

Yeah, but, look, a strike...

Why don't you
try again, all right?

And just remember
that in negotiations

both sides have
got to give a little bit.

Mmm.

Why, you remember Henry Clay,
right, the Great Compromiser?

Oh, right. He died a pauper.

Oh, give it another
shot, would you?

Hey, Al.

Aw.

Has it come to this?

Look, the-the guys want to
negotiate some more, all right?

Okay. All right.

Fellas, you heard my offer.

Now what do you say?

Go suck an egg.

Oh, yeah? Well, the same to you.

Negotiate, huh?

All right, all right,

that's a start.

Uh, we'll continue
this session later, right?

All right...

yeah... uh!

Get over here.

Not in front of a minor,

you know what I mean?

All right. Let me introduce
you to some of my pals here.

Hey. How are you?

This is Bobby, you know?

Peggy's little boy.

Hey, Fonz, what,
did you hire someone

to work on small engines?

Ha, ha, ha.

You get it? With the...

Even in labor
disputes, I still got it.

You must be Ralph.

Hey, hey, he knows you.

Yeah, that's right... and
this here is Potsie, right?

Hi.

- And Richie Cunningham, good friend.
- Hi, Bobby.

All right, guys, watch
this, watch this...

He's gonna knock your
socks off. Give me five.

Put it in your pocket and
don't let nobody hock it.

Whoa.

Well, he's a regular
Shakespeare.

Better, better. He rhymes.

The Champ taught it to me.

Yeah, well, see, now,
he calls me the Champ

and I call him Kemosabe.

Hey, Kemosabe.

That's really cute.

Hey, there, Kemosabe.

- Hold it, Weber.
- Yeah?

I call him Kemosabe.

- Ah.
- Right, Fonz.

Hi, there, Bobby.

Thank you.

The jukebox. Can I?

Yeah, let's give it a shot.

I did it, Champ!

Yeah, you sure did. You
knocked my socks off.

Why don't we sit down and
take a load off our feet, all right?

Yeah. Hey, you
guys gonna join us?

- Oh, thanks, Fonz.
- Uh, we'd like to Fonz,

- but we got union biz.
- Right.

Get right up in there.

What's with Huey and Dewey?

Ignore 'em, Fonz.

Everybody else is.

Hey, there's Mom. Hi, Mom.

Hiya, Bobby.

Whoa.

Having fun?

Sure, I'm with the Champ.

Yeah, this is my good
friend Richie Cunningham.

And my good friend Peggy Clark.

How do you do? Hey,
you got a great kid here.

Great? Fabumundo.

We have great times
together, don't we?

Well, we have fabulous
times together too, yeah.

I mean, a little bit
different, you know?

Forget it. Forget it.

Have I got a time
planned for us tonight.

Yeah, what's cookin'?

- Got, uh, movies?
- No.

- Dinner?
- No...

- Dancing...
- Mm-mm.

I thought that we'd all
go to an amusement park.

How's that, huh? Want to
go to an amusement park?

Come on, Mom, we're
going to an amusement park.

- Hey, Fonz, an amusement park?
- Yeah.

All right.

Well, don't worry about it.

He usually gets lost.

Oh, Howard.

Well, I... What-what is wrong

with getting excited
at my first auction?

This is what's wrong, Marion.

It's nostalgia.

And it's gonna give the
living room a whole new look.

It already has.

Now, where shall we put it?

Oh, oh. You guys.

You are not going
to believe this.

Flash, Jenny
Piccalo just told me

that Fonzie is secretly married.

What?!

He has a kid and everything.

Oh, Joanie, don't be ridiculous.

Fonzie is not married.

Well, I don't know
why he never told us.

Marion, are you gonna
believe Jenny Piccalo?

Dad...

scoop-wise, Jenny Piccalo is,

uh, better than a
gossip columnist.

And just about as accurate.

Well, she did know about Liz
and Eddie before Debbie did.

That's right.

That's a beautiful new lamp.

Gives the place
a whole new look.

Oh, Arthur.

Yeah, Mrs. C., what?

We know your secret.

The cat's out of the bag.

Well, I-I knew that was gonna
happen to me sometime, you know?

- You mean it's true?
- Told you so.

Well, now, I got
one problem here.

Exactly what secret is
this we're talking about?

Well, uh, about you being
married and having a child.

Oh, that one.

I only got one
problem with that one.

Come on, Fonz. Jenny
has seen you all over town

with this woman
and-and little boy.

True. Very, very true.

Oh, Arthur.

Howard, we've got to get
them a special wedding present.

Let's give 'em the lamp.

Uh, I'd rather give you, uh,
an explanation, you know?

Like, uh, I met this
fabulous girl, right?

Peggy Clark... and she's
got this incredible little boy,

who happens to be
most enamored with me.

- Joanie...
- Right.

I have a lot of
rumor-squelching to do.

- Mm-hmm.
- Sorry, Fonz.

You know, that Jenny
Piccalo sure is a gossip.

But what about Peggy's husband?

Gone.

Aw, to be widowed
and with a child.

Oh, no, no, no, Mrs.
C., not that kind of gone.

Gone, like a bum;
Splitsville; separated.

Went out for ice cream two
years ago and never came back.

Well, that is one of the
nicest things about Howard.

Whenever he goes out,
he always comes back.

Yeah, look, uh, the
reason I came down here,

you know, you being
parents and everything,

I got Bobby playing
upstairs, right?

Now, he's asking me a
lot of questions, you know?

His latest one is, "Where
do babies come from?"

Now, what do you tell a kid?

Oh, well, that's,
uh, uh... Marion?

Yes.

Uh... Howard?

I get your drift.
I get your drift.

I know exactly
what I'm gonna do.

I'm going back upstairs.

Every time he
asks me a question,

I'll make him some popcorn.

I'll ignore the whole subject,
just like parents do, you know.

Whoa, hey!

All right, I'll hold it,
you turn it there, right?

- Looks good.
- Yeah.

Hey, you never did tell me
where babies come from.

Uh-oh.

Never mind.

I don't want any more popcorn.

Smart kid, huh?

Well, I think the bridge
is ready now, huh?

You do the honors.

Okay.

The Champ Kemosabe
Bridge is now open!

Hey, all right.

Lift it up.

Now we need a
boat to come through.

A boat, yeah.

What am I gonna use for a boat?

Can you be a boat, Champ?

You want me to be a boat, huh?

All right, I'll be a boat.

First thing I got to
do, you understand,

is, uh, just check for,
uh, stowaways, you know.

Just be a minute.

And I'll, uh... I'll just pull
these down here, you know,

batten down my hatches, right?

Always got to batten
down the hatch.

Want me to be a boat?

Toot! Toot!

How's that, huh?

It was great,
except for the toot.

Yeah, you don't have
a hoot for my toot, huh?

All right, look.

I didn't like it either myself.

I'll give you another
toot, all right?

Toot! Toot!

How's that?

Great. Hey, you're fun.

Yeah? Well, I think
you're fun, too, you know.

Yeah. Toot, toot, toot,
toot, toot, toot, toot.

You sure made a good bridge.

I tell you, we made
it together, didn't we?

Yeah, I bet you and your dad
built a lot of bridges together.

I never built nothing
with my father.

Why not?

Because you and me,
we're the same, you know.

Our old men ran out on us
when we were just little tykes.

Really?

I just said it, didn't I?

- Champ?
- Yeah.

Do you ever miss your dad?

Did I ever miss my dad, huh?

No.

I never missed my dad.
And you know what?

I'm never gonna let you miss
your dad either. You know why?

Because we got each other now.

Whoa.

Whoa.

All right, King Kong
over the bridge! Whoa!

Hi, Fonzie.

Hey.

You having fun?

Fun? Looking for
structural defects is not fun.

It's a very responsible job.

Where's Bobby?

With a babysitter.

Uh-oh.

Bridge work is done.

Why don't you just
plant one right here.

Why don't you just
plant one right here.

I'll do the planting.
It's all right.

Why do I sense a
good-bye in those lips?

Fonzie...

Robert, my husband, and I...

we're getting back together.

Well, he finally brought
back the ice cream...

Little mushy after three years.

Fonzie, please.

Robert's changed.

Hey, hey, hey, people
don't change just like that.

Robert has.

He's got a good job now.

He wants to make it
up to me and Bobby.

He wants another chance.

Well, let me ask you the
all-important question then.

What do you want?

I want another chance, too.

I still love him.

I didn't see you say that.

I still love him.

I do.

Hey, hey, hey, I believe you.

You got the Fonzarelli
seal of approval, you know?

I hope you're very
happy together, you two.

I knew you'd understand.

Thank you for being
there when I needed you.

I'm that kind of a guy.

Why don't you bring
the Kemosabe up here;

we'll celebrate
one last time, right?

- No, Fonz.
- No, Fonz?

What's it, he in bed?

Look, Fonzie, you can't
see Bobby anymore.

I can't see Bobby anymore?

Hey, look at this.

Look at this, huh?

That's right, I posed
for five minutes like that.

I couldn't move a
muscle, you know.

I think he did a very good job.

- Yeah, it's beautiful.
- Yeah.

There are six
more like it at home.

Yeah?

Bobby's got to get to
know his father now.

And he can't do that if he
spends all of his time with you.

You can't see Bobby anymore.

- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, right.

You're right. I can't
spend the rest of my life,

you know, just playing with
some little kid, you know?

♪ Do, ah. ♪

Okay, all right, Mom, Dad?

I-I want you to let me know,
uh, what you think here.

About what, dear?

My mustache. My mustache.

Oh, yes!

The light just hit it.

Well, it's only about
12-and-a-half days old.

Well, I think it
looks very gallant.

Oh, thanks.

Lori Beth likes it, too.

Mm.

Oh, good, you're here.

All right, look, we're gonna
form a posse, all right?

Better yet, we're all gonna
split up... come on, let's go.

Posse?! Wait a minute,
what are you talking about?

What's wrong, Fonzie?

What, Bobby... he just
ran away, you know.

What?

And Peggy calls me up half
hysterical. I'm going nutso.

Arthur, Arthur, calm down.
Now take a deep breath.

I mean, where could he be?
You know, where could he go?

When I get my hands on him...

Hey, Champ, you up there?

I've been looking all over
for him, and he's outside.

Come here.

Where were you?

I've been looking for you.

- I miss you, Champ.
- Don't you have...

You missed me? He missed me.

Aw...

It's boring at home.

Robert's no fun.

Can't even build a bridge.

He can't even
build a bridge, huh?

Of course not.

You missed me.

I want to be with you.

Yeah, I want to be
with you, too, yeah.

Uh, look, Fonzie, don't
you think you ought to

call his mother and
let her know he's okay?

Absolutely, absolutely.

She must have the
police out on a manhunt.

Kid-hunt.

All right, look, just stay
with Richie, all right?

- Okay, come on, Bobby.
- Keep an arm on him.

Right. Why don't
you sit right over here.

Look, I want you to
meet my parents, okay?

That's my mom, that's my dad.

Hi, Bobby.

Oh, you poor little thing... out
at night, you're just freezing.

I'll make you a
cup of hot cocoa.

Oh, that'll be nice.

Your mom and dad were
very worried about you.

I wanted to see Fonzie.

He's my friend.

Yeah, right.

You know, uh, your dad
can be your friend, too.

Sure, Richie and I used to
do a lot of things together.

We used to go
fishing and camping.

We used to save snowballs
and put them in the freezer.

- Save snowballs?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Course then, by summer,
they'd always turn to ice.

Too bad.

Well, life goes on.

But, Bobby, see,
the thing of it is

that your father left for a
while, see, but he's back now.

You know, Bobby, maybe you
ought to give your father a chance.

- Why?
- Why?

Throughout the ages...

the bond between father
and son has always been

one of mutual need and respect.

Understand?

Cocoa will be ready any minute.

No time, Mrs. C. We gotta go.

Come on, Bobby, I
got to take you home.

- You gotta?
- Yeah, I-I gotta.

Can't you stop by the garage?

No, tomorrow we'll stop
by the garage, all right?

Here, put on my helmet.

All right, safety first, right?

Your head needs
to grow a little bit.

Hey, when we go to
the garage tomorrow,

no looking at pinups, all right?

Good-bye, everybody.

I can't see you, but thanks.

Bye, Bobby.

Come on, let's go.

Whew!

Well, that is the
cutest little boy.

Tomorrow? Hmm.

I thought Fonzie wasn't
supposed to see this boy anymore.

Well, he's not.

Oh, dear.

This whole thing reminds
me of As the World Turns.

There was a woman had
a little boy just his age.

Then she fell in love...

No, or was it as
The Edge of Night?

This young man
had a little girl.

Would you like some cocoa?

- Mm.
- Follow me.

Or was it Secret Storm?

This woman on her deathbed
had this brother who was a midget.

Enter, enter.

Hi, Fonz.

Playing with your Erector set?

Yeah.

And if anybody hears
outside these walls...

I'm gonna reverse your lips.

- Nice bridge.
- Yeah, yeah.

Bobby and I are gonna put
some tollbooths on it, you know?

- Uh, you and Bobby?
- Yeah.

Well, I thought you weren't
supposed to see him anymore.

Hey, who's it gonna hurt?

Bobby.

Look, how does his
father stand a chance

with you hanging
around all the time, Fonz?

Bobby thinks
you're the greatest.

I think the kid
shows good taste.

I'm good for him.

Yeah, you're great at
goofing around, Fonz.

But he doesn't need
a playmate right now.

The boy needs his father.

What are you sticking
up for this man for?

He ran out on him when
he was three years old,

just like my...

Wait a second, wait a second.

Just like your father?

Oh, is that it?

Is that how you get
back at him now?

Hey, you just leave my
father out of this, okay?

He's got nothing to do
with it, you understand?

Huh?

I got along just
fine without him.

Fonz, it's different now.

Bobby's father came back.

Yeah, so? Now he's
got me and his old man.

No, no. He can't
have two fathers.

I am gonna continue to see
Kemosabe, you understand that?

He needs me.

He needs his family, Fonz.

Everybody needs a family.

I didn't need no family, pal.

Now, the case is closed.

There's the door. Use it.

Okay, bucko, I'm leaving.

But I want you to
think about something.

Just who are you trying
to get even with, huh?

Bobby's father for coming back
or your father for walking out?

You still here?

- Just think about it.
- Right.

I didn't need no family.

I win.

I'm never gonna win.

You're great.

Thanks, Champ.

Hey, next time you give me a
three-sip start, you understand?

Yeah.

Well, there you are.

Hiya, Bobby.

Hi.

You must be Fonzie.

Hi. I'm Bobby's father.

Right.

Come on, Bobby, it's time to go.

- Where?
- Why, don't you remember?

Mom and I made plans to
take you to the park today.

I don't want to.

Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

I tell you what we do.

We'll get some cotton candy.

Nah.

Bobby, I'm your father.

Champ's more like my father.

Bobby, we're a family now.

I don't need a family.

Right, Champ?

We don't need a family?

Come on.

No, I don't want to!

I want to stay with Champ!

No!

Hey, hold it, hold it, hold it!

Where do you think
you're taking the kid?

- Fonz...
- Hey, you butt out!

You heard the kid.

The kid wants to stay
right here with me.

I can't believe you're
going through...

This is none of your business.

The kid is staying right here.

Nobody's taking my
son away from me.

Oh, yeah?

Why don't you get
some more ice cream.

Well, I guess I'm
through running away.

Yeah? You're gonna stand
up, you're gonna fight me,

right, punk, huh?

If that's what it takes
to keep my son, yes.

Why don't you take
off for three years, huh?

- Don't do that.
- Why not? Why not?

- Don't do that! Don't do that!
- Why not?

All right, all right, all right!
Don't hit me, don't hit me!

Just, uh... there's no
need for violence here.

You called my
bluff, you're cool.

Just back off. Just back off.

All right, you're cool.

Hey, it's a nice day out, right?

So you go with your father,
you get some, uh, cotton candy,

go to the park.

I'll catch you later, all right?

No, you won't.

I never want to see you again!

You're no champ.

You're a scaredy cat!

Come on, let's go to the park...

Dad.

Let's go to the park.

Hey, it was just an act.

Yeah.

Fonz?

I'm-I'm sorry I butted in there.

I guess I didn't know
what you were doing.

You think he's
gonna remember me?

He's gonna remember... Champ.

Hey, uh, want to check out

that new bowling
alley just opened up?

The Fonz does not bowl.

Girl pin-boys.

The Fonz bowls.

Let's go, let's go,
let's go bowling!

RALPH and POTSIE: Bowling?

Yeah, girl pin-boys.

RALPH and POTSIE: Bowling!

This strike has
gone on far too long!

Right!

Management has
failed to compromise

on even the most
basic contractual points.

Better believe it.

For the past three years,
we've stood on this very stage

playing rock and roll
the best we knew how.

And now we need your help.

Because when the people
speak, management listens.

And that's what
makes America great!

Yeah!

We want live music!

We want live music!
We want live music!

All right, you want live music?

Yeah!

Well, you got it!

♪ Ain't she sweet ♪

♪ See her walking
down the street ♪

- Oh, what the heck?
- What the heck?

♪ I ask you very
confidentially ♪

♪ Ain't she sweet ♪

- ♪ Ain't she nice... ♪
- Yes, she is!

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪