Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 4, Episode 23 - Spunky Come Home - full transcript

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪



♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

Oh, Joanie, that's wonderful,
you just make that look so easy.

Yeah, well, here, Mom...
Why don't you try it?

Oh, no, no, dear.

No, I don't want to. It's
not for a mature woman.

Uh-huh. You don't
want to, 'cause you can't.

Can so. Can not.

Can so. Can not.

Can so. Give me that.

All right, step back.

Okay, you're laughing
'cause you can't do it.

Can so. Can not.

Can so.

Look at this.

Your father leaves
me alone for two days

and I become a little kid.

Well, start growing up fast.

I heard Dad pull
up in the driveway.

I'm glad I talked Dad out of
talking me into going to that.

Well what would you do
at a porcelain convention?

I don't know.

But if I got tired, I'd always have
plenty of good places to sit down.

Quick, get me my shotgun.

Why? What happened, dear?

There's a wolf in the garage!

That's no wolf, dear.

Were you there?

All I saw was a blur of fangs.

Dad, that's Fonzie's dog.

Yeah, she probably
thought you were a prowler.

Yeah, he got the
dog for protection.

Protection?

Protection from what?

Girls.

Let me ask you a question.

Who was the turkey
that woke up my dog?

Hey, Mr. C., welcome home.

Well, at least someone
acknowledges my arrival.

Well, it's hard to run
up and hug a man

who comes in yelling
"Wolf, wolf, wolf!"

Go get my suitcase.

Okay, Dad.

Do you think maybe I
should get the shotgun,

just in case there's another wolf
out there? I'll give you wolves.

Welcome home, dear.

Hey, I want you to
meet my new dog,

Spunky.

Look it...

It's so cute. Wolf.

Well, she looked a
lot bigger in the dark.

Most dogs don't like Howard.

That's not true, Marion.

Oh now, dear, come over
here and sit down and relax.

Joanie, get your
father some milk.

And some Oreo cookies.

Diet thins.

Hey, is this family not a pip?

Did I not tell you you're going
to have a great time here?

You're a pip, too.

A grown man like you has to
have a dog for protection from girls?

Wait a minute, I don't think
you're getting the full picture here.

I'm sitting up in my apartment
with, uh, Roberta Ricobini,

having a great time,
if you get my drift.

Loud and clear.

Yeah, when all of a sudden,

Stacey Lubitsky comes
knocking on my door,

yelling "Surprise! Surprise!"

I'll tell you, we were
really surprised.

There we go, all right.

So that's when he
decided to get the dog, dear.

Well, it is a cute little dog.

What did you do to her?

Dogs don't like Howard.

Here's your milk, and
delicious diet thins.

Oreos coming up.

Listen, uh, Fonzie... Yeah?

I'm sorry, but you
can't keep the dog.

Oh, wait a minute, before
you make your final decision...

I just did.

Oh, let me tell you
about her sad, sad life.

I mean, we met at
the pound, didn't we?

That's where they
keep the strays.

Yeah.

And then it was her last day,

and the guards were taking
her down that long, last mile.

Aren't you being just
a little overdramatic?

Oh, no, hey, tell
that to Spunky here.

You tell her that
she's got to spend

the rest of her
life on the street

with no place to go, no home.

Look at that face, Mr. C..

Come on, look at
that face. Look at it.

Okay, that's enough,
you can keep the dog.

I've always been a
sucker for hairy faces.

That's not what you
said about Aunt Bessie.

What is all that racket?

Don't tell me you put my
bowling ball in the dryer again.

No, Howard.

The boys are building a fence

so that Spunky can
have her own little yard.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, that's very nice.

That way she won't be
able to attack you again.

She loves me, Marion.

She just thought I
was a prowler, that's all.

Hey, Howie, we're
almost finished.

You got any more wood?

You're using my wood?

Yeah.

Why are they using
my wood, Marion?

Well, now I knew
you wouldn't mind.

But I do mind.

I was saving that wood to make

a work bench for myself.

It's very expensive.

Yeah, Fonzie insisted
on only the best.

Fonzie? The next thing you know,

he's going to want
wall-to-wall carpeting.

Hey, you got some?

I'll give you some.

He's a little out of sorts.

See you, Howie.

Now, Howard, you, you
didn't lose your wood.

It's still in the
yard. Technically.

I hope there's some
left over, sweetheart,

because I want to build
you a beautiful chair,

so you can sit on it.

Spunky. Here Spunky, Spunky.

Is she here?

No.

Well, where could she be?

She's not outside.

Well, she's new in town.

Probably checking out
the local fire hydrants.

Are you crazy?

Why? Richie always gets us soda.

I'm not talking sodas.

We just lost Fonzie's dog.

Is he going to hurt us?

Hurt us?

You want to know what
he's going to do to our heads?

It's going to hurt.

You got it.

Hi, guys.

Oh... Oh...

It's only Rich.

Oh, you did a great
job on the fence.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

You kind of messed up
the counter, though. Sorry.

Hey, have you seen
Spunky around?

She doesn't seem to
be in the back yard there.

Uh, Ralph left the ga...

You mean uh, you mean Spun...
Fonzie's dog, Spunky? Yeah.

I don't know, Rich, I guess,
she's probably with Fonzie.

I mean, it's Fonzie's dog.
She must be with Fonzie.

Heyyy?

"Heyyy?"

Oh.

I know your yelp,
Malph. What's wrong?

All right, Fonz, I'm just
going to tell you right out.

I can't take it anymore.

Uh, I'm going to
tell you the truth,

regardless of the
consequences, okay?

Spit it out, Ralph.

Somebody stole your dog.

So I'm not Abe Lincoln.

♪ Are you lonesome tonight? ♪

It's no good, Fonzie.

The FBI won't put out an
all points bulletin on a dog.

Well, we've got to do something.

Well, take it easy, Fonz.

You don't understand.

This is a Fonzarelli dog.

When a Fonzarelli's in
trouble, I do something.

Well, I'll keep trying.

All right, Spunky, we
know you're out there.

Come out with your paws up!

All right, you're next.

Look at this picture
very very carefully.

Tell me, have you
ever seen this dog?

Well, let's see...

No, not really.

Well, maybe I have seen her.

Well, no, I'm not too sure...

Have you seen the dog or not?

Well, it's hard to tell
with that particular picture.

Have you seen this dog?

Fonz, can I talk to
you for a minute?

Yeah?

I think you better just
relax for a while, Fonz,

because uh, well, look,

it is kind of hard to tell
with this particular drawing.

If you look at it from
a distance, you know.

But don't worry, Fonz,

'cause everybody's
out looking for Spunky.

We've done everything we
can, we've called around...

We even put an ad
in the newspapers.

Oh, yeah?

Crooks don't answer ads, Rich.

Okay Fonz, your
worries are over.

Ralph comes through again.

What's he doing with that dog?

What are you
doing with that dog?

Does that look like Spunky?

Does that look
like this picture?

That's really funny,
you're kidding.

Who drew that picture?

I did.

Good one, Fonz, nice detail.

The legs and the tail...

Ralph, where did you
come up with this dog?

Well, I just used
the old Malph charm.

So much for the old Malph charm.

I didn't know it was her dog.

It was standing in
front of the supermarket.

It could have been
waiting for a bus.

Hey, look Fonz, don't you worry,

we're going to
find Spunky for you.

What are you talking about?

I mean, whoever took that
dog could be anywhere by now.

Yeah.

I hear they take them to
Mexico and paint them.

That's cars.

Oh.

Now, Fonz, what makes you
think that Spunky was really stolen?

'Cause Ralph never actually
saw anybody take her.

Look, let me... look...

Ralph, Potsie, did
you open up that gate

and let that dog walk out?
Huh, would you do that?

No. No.

We wouldn't do that.

All right then,
somebody walked up,

bent over, picked up my
dog, and took him away.

I call that stolen.
I call that stolen.

Stolen. Absolutely. Right, Fonz.

Spunky was stolen,
but don't worry,

we're going to find
Spunky, right, Ralph? Right.

Don't worry, Fonz, we're
going to find Spunky.

Can we borrow the drawing?

We don't need the
drawing, come on.

Pots, did you see that drawing?

I really wouldn't
worry too much, Fonz,

'cause dogs are capable of
doing some incredible things.

Like, uh, I saw this
war movie one time,

where Lassie got
separated from her master.

Did she find her way home?

Well, uh, actually I
couldn't tell you that.

You see, I saw the
movie at a drive-in

with uh, Carol Kleinsmidth.

Well, yeah, but I'm sure
that Lassie got home.

I mean, look, she's made a
lot of pictures since then, right?

Well I couldn't help it, Carol was
blowing in my ear. Thanks, Rich, thanks.

When I find the guy
that took my dog...

I knew you'd be
bad for business.

This was your idea.

Well, they weren't
eating anyway.

Hey, Fonzie, Officer
Porter wants to help you.

He's a police artist.

Figured I'd draw
a sketch of Spunky

and spread it around the force.

Well, that's great.

I already did that right here.

You lost a matchstick dog?

It's a rare breed.

It's a fox terrier.

You see, it's all fuzzy,

and it's a smart dog,
eats only Arnold burgers.

Hey, it's my dog,
I'll describe her.

She is about one-six,

and she's about,
uh, hairy, and female.

Yeah?

And she looks
like this right here.

Look at that, she's
got droopy cheeks.

Yeah. You know?

And, and, and, she's
got, uh, sad eyes.

Sad eyes, yeah.

I think that does it.

How's that?

Well, Fonz,
everybody's out looking.

You might as well go on home.

If anybody finds Spunky,

they're going to call you there.

I can't go home to
an empty house, Rich.

Fonz, you could always get
some female companionship.

It won't be the same. I mean...

they're not going to hop up
and down when I come home.

They're not going
to jump in my arms.

Roberta Ricobini will.

She's not furry, Rich.

There he is.

We have to tell him,
Malph. No, we don't.

We have to.

No, we don't.

We have to. No, we don't!

We have to. We're not gonna...

What are you two babbling about?

Look at this, Frick and Frack.

Hey, Rich, Fonz.

Ralph here has
something to tell you.

You tell him. You tell him.

You tell him. All right,
hold it. You tell him.

That's enough. You tell him.

You tell him. I'm not
playing this game.

Malph, you're going to tell me.

All right, Fonz.

It's about your dog.

Here's your dog.

There's my dog. Here's the dog!

The dog!

Now, listen, Spunk,

maybe this taught
you something, huh?

Like you don't
listen to strangers.

Especially humans, you know?

All right, it's so
good to see you.

All right, listen, I'll
tell you something,

I owe you one, Officer.

Oh, that's okay, I'm a
sucker for happy endings.

Hey, Officer, you catch
the guy who stole Spunky?

Potsie, nobody stole Spunky.

They heard.

Uh, well, it's obvious,

I mean, Spunky
walked in by himself.

There's no crook
attached to him, right?

Wrong.

I have him in the car.

Good. Good work, Officer.

Officer Porter,
bring in the culprit.

Malph!

I'll go get him.

He's been giving
us a rough time.

Fonz, now, you're just going to
talk to this guy, right? Oh, that's right.

That's right, I'm just
going to talk to him.

I'm going to have a
convo with him with my fist.

We've got to talk,
Malph. No, no.

We've got to talk, Malph.

Stand up, I want to warm up.

Put your hands up.

All right, buddy, in here.

All right now, Fonz,
don't do anything crazy.

Oh, no, I'm not going
to do anything crazy.

I'm just going to turn
around, I'm going to see him.

And, uh...

he's a little kid.

Good guess.

What was your first clue?

He's a little kid
with a big mouth.

Want me to press charges?

For what, walking a dog?

Now let me talk to him, okay?

I'll give you five minutes,
then I have to book him.

All right, all right, now,
uh, just take it easy

'cause you got
nothing to worry about.

You do, if he don't
give me back my dog.

Your dog?

It's my dog, you stole her.

You crazy, Clyde.

Clyde. He called me Clyde.

You got a big brother I can hit?

If you don't give
me back my dog,

you and me are
going to duke it out.

Oh, are you kidding me, huh?

Fonz, uh,

maybe he's telling the truth.

You stay out of it.

This is between me

and Clyde. He called
me Clyde again!

You stop calling me a crook,

or me and you are
gonna really duke it out.

Whoa. Yeah?

Wait, Fonz, don't hurt him!

Yeah, right, Fonz, come on.

Get out of my way.

Golly, there are more
white guys in this place

than there are in
my whole school.

Fonz, I got to
tell you the truth.

He didn't steal Spunky.

You see, she got loose
and ran out of the yard.

It was Potsie's fault.

You opened the
gate, it wasn't my fault.

Why do you always
blame me? Cool it!

Are you telling me that you
let my dog out of the yard?

Fonz, it was an accident.
It was an accident.

I don't care about accidents,

I care about you lied to me.

Oh, good, he hit Potsie.

All right, both of
you, in my office.

Yeah, right. Right, Fonz.

In my office. Okay.

You stay where you are,

'cause I got to talk to you.

I've got to go think this out,
I'll be right back. Right, Fonz.

Get in there. In here?

Get in there. Get in there.
Fonz, that's the ladies room.

Uh, we're coming in!

Ready or not, here we are.

Hey, there's something
missing in here.

What was your name again?

Whitey Ford.

Yeah, that's a very good one.

I can see why you'd be upset.

I mean, some policeman
pulls you off the street,

brings you in here, but...

but you got nothing
at all to be scared of.

Scared?

I'm not scared of nothing.

Huh, huh, huh,
huh, no, not scared.

I didn't mean scared.

Good punch.

You're lucky I held back.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
well, I feel lucky.

Why don't you smile or
something, you know?

You're going to be out
of here in no time at all.

30 seconds.

You've got that long
to get out of my way.

Oh.

You really like
that dog, don't you?

I'm not getting
any answers here.

You really like
that dog, don't you?

"What's it to you, Clyde?"

Oops, you almost
smiled, I saw you.

15 seconds.

You got any brothers or sisters?

"You taking a census?"

All right, I got you that time.

Okay, okay.

I hope I didn't hurt you.

Aw, forget it.

Well, you might have
hurt a lesser man.

I feel better.

I feel better.

I understand you
didn't steal my dog.

I understand that.

I know it, too.

He's a cute little kid, huh?

You're lucky he's
even answering you.

Listen, would you do me a favor,

go out there
and tell the officer

I'm not going to press
any charges, all right?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, Fonz, watch
out for this kid's right,

you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

He's a funny guy.

He's hysterical,
he's hysterical.

Uh, listen, kid...

uh, no, no, no, no fists,

no fists, come on.

Put 'em down... down.

Ooh... good.

Uh, why don't you sit down?

I don't think I want to.

Sit down.

Well, maybe just for a minute.

Yeah, right. Now, uh...

listen, kid, I really understand

that you didn't steal
my dog, you know?

But the thing is that
you should have...

you should have
looked for her owner.

Well, she had no name tag.

And she didn't know
her phone number.

It's unlisted.

It's unlisted, that's why.

Okay, uh...

the thing is that...

I really appreciate

that you took good care
of her, you understand...

and, uh...

Do you want to
save me just a few?

Go ahead, help yourself.

I appreciate you, you know?

You really like dogs, don't you?

You know it, Clyde.

Hey, Spunky, come here.

Come here, Spunky, hello, yeah.

Spunky?

She really is your dog.

Yeah.

Fonz?

Are you going to let
him keep Spunky?

Are you crazy?

It's his dog.

You don't give
away your own dog.

That's right, but the thing
is, I really appreciate you

and I'm going to tell what
I'm going to do, all right?

You're going to meet me
here tomorrow morning,

I'm going to get you
your own dog, all right?

Just one thing.

I can't live with
the name Clyde.

Coolamundo? Coolamundo.

Not you.

Coolamundo.

Let's go home. I agree with you.

All right.

He's gone. What should we do?

I don't know.

Fonzie didn't say
we could leave.

We better stay in here. Yeah.

Hey, you guys!

You gonna spend
the weekend in there?

You going to hit us, Fonz?

You going to lie to me again?

Never again, Fonz.

Promise. Get out of here.

Thanks. Hey.

Hey, Fonz,

girls write on the
bathroom wall, too.

Yeah, they have a whole
wall dedicated to you.

One wall?

Heyyy.

Come here, come here.

Come here, yeah. Listen to me.

I don't want you to run away
from home again, you know why?

You know why?

Because I love you, that's why.

Hey, Rich, let me tell
you something. Hi, Fonz.

I taught my dog a new
trick you can't believe it.

Oh, yeah? Where is my dog?

Oh, oh, don't worry.

Dad's taking her out for
a walk, that's all. All right.

Come on, Spunk.

I, uh, I thought
you didn't like her.

Well, that's a vicious rumor.

Anyway, anyway, I got
this trick, see. Yeah?

I'm in my apartment
with a chick, right? Right.

Okay, and then
it's nice and cozy,

and then there's the sound
of a kiss, you know? Yeah.

That's all right, you
won't embarrass me,

I'm one of the boys.

All right.

This is the
greatest trick, Mr. C.

Arthur, you taught
Spunky a trick?

That's nice, may we see it?

Uh, well, actually,
the thing is that

I need a little more
practice, you know?

Oh, yes, I understand.

Arthur, I'm just so glad
that you got your dog back.

What a trick!

Well, I've got to go take her
for a walk again, you know?

Come on, come on, here we
go, jump right here, right here.

Heyyy!

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These are such Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪