Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 4, Episode 18 - The Graduation: Part 1 - full transcript

Marion Cunningham is forced to reveal Fonzie's secret plan to graduate with Richie's senior class just before Principal Conners' startling announcement at the high school prom that puts the graduation ceremony itself in jeopardy.

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪



♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Is anybody down there?

Just me... the boys
have left already.

Their band is playing
at a bar mitzvah.

Oh...

All right, cut it out, Marion.

Oh, you're going to be

the cutest chaperone
at the prom.

I asked you to rent me
just a plain, black tuxedo.

Well, black is out, Howard.

This is hep... I
mean, it's spiffy,

snazzy, gives you pizzazz.

You really think so?

Pizzazz? Hmm.

Ooh... nice tuxedo, Dad.

Here it comes.

Did it come with batteries?

Why didn't you put the
address in your wallet?

Because I always
lose things in my wallet.

That's why I put it in
my glove compartment.

It's hard to lose a
glove compartment.

Hey, Howie...

nice tuxedo.

Is he gonna be a chaperone,

or are they hanging
him from the middle

of the gym and spinning him?

I'm going to spin you.

No, no, no, Dad,
please, please don't.

I'm going upstairs and
take off this neon suit.

Oh, Joanie, go up and
tell him how nice he looks.

It looks great, Dad.

Jenny Piccalo has a
nightgown just like it.

I don't want you

hanging around
that Jenny Piccalo.

She's a 15-year-old Mae West!

How are we supposed
to play a bar mitzvah

when we don't even
know where it is?

Boys, why don't you just go out

and get the address out of
Ralph's glove compartment?

Because his car is
locked in Fonzie's garage.

Oh, dear.

And we can't find Fonzie

because it's Friday.

Every Monday,
Wednesday, and Friday night,

Fonzie meets with
some mystery lady.

Now, come on, Ralph.

You wrote the name down.

You must be able to
remember where it is.

I got it! Good!

Oh, good, I knew he'd get it.

I remember that the
place has a girl's name in it.

I told you I'd remember.

Good, good, that... that's good,

we'll look it up in the
phone book. All right, great.

What are we gonna
do, look for every place

that has a girl's name in it?

Yeah. We'll never find it!

That's hopeless, my
whole life is hopeless!

Yeah, we know that, Ralph.

Oh, God doesn't want
me to go to the prom.

Oh, Ralph, it will be all right.

When Fonzie comes home at 9:30,

he'll open the garage.

Oh, no, no, Mom, 9:30's gonna be

much too late, we've got to...

Mom... how do you know

what time Fonzie's coming home?

You know, boys,
I've been wondering

where you've decided
to go to college.

Oh, Ralph, you look so nice.

Thank you, thank you, Mrs. C.

Mom... Doesn't he?

Mom... how do you know

Fonzie's coming home at 9:30?

Oh, did I... did I
actually say that?

Yes. I wasn't... Mrs. C?

Yes, Ralph, what, dear?

Uh, Mrs. C., um,

nobody knows where
Fonzie's been hanging out

for the last couple
of months... nobody.

Oh, that's right, so
how would I know?

You didn't pull
9:30 out of a hat.

Oh, just a guess,
just a wild guess,

and not a bad...
good guess at all,

kind of a bad guess,
not a hat... oh...

Mrs. C., why don't
you just sit down?

All right, thank you.

We need information,
and we need it now.

Oh, Ralph,

this is my mother you're
talking to, you know?

All right, excuse me, Mrs. C.

Look, Rich, we'll just
try to scare her a little.

You know, you
better stay out of it.

You're too close, okay?

All right, Mrs. C.

Now, you know you're
like a mother to us.

Yes, Ralph.

But, you're not
leaving this room

until you tell us
where Fonzie is.

Right, and we mean business!

All right, start talking.

Boys, I don't like
being treated this way.

Richard, they are
threatening me.

I can't help you,
Mom, I'm too close.

You're not that close,
Rich... come on, break her.

All right, all right,
all right, now, Mom?

This is on your head now.

No bar mitzvah.

And, Mom, we're not
gonna have any money

to go to our senior prom,

our one and only senior prom.

No prom. All right.

No girls. All
right, I'll tell you.

Yeah? I can't tell you.

I Promised... oh, Ralph, please!

Think of the name of the club.

Don't hit me, Mrs. C.!

Help me, Rich, help! Oh, Ralph,

dear, I'm so sorry, dear.

It's... it's just the pressure.

All right, I'll tell you,

but you have got to promise
that you won't tell a soul.

Oh, we promise, not a soul, Mrs.
C. Sure, never, we won't tell anyone.

Fonzie has been...

Yeah, yeah? Yeah,
yeah? He's at...

Jefferson High School... there.

Jefferson? I've said it.

I've said it.

He's been going to night school.

Boy, did she spill her guts.

Mr. Fonzarelli,

please recite tonight's poem.

Sure, I'll read this
one, you know,

just for, uh, Michelle
here, all right.

"I Love You" by
Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

Thanks very much, Michelle.

"I love your lips when
they're wet with wine

and red with wild desire."

Uh, please, uh, read that again,

and tell me, what does
that line mean to you?

Whoa!

Good, you understand.

"I love your eyes
when the love light

lies lit with a
passionate fire."

Huh, dig it, whoa.

"I love your arms

"when the warm, white flesh

touches mine in a fond embrace."

Whoa.

"I love your hair
when the strands

enmesh and your kisses
against my face", Michelle.

Yeah.

You do quite well for someone

who doesn't like
to recite poetry.

Oh, of course.

The class will take a
ten-minute break to cool off.

Fonz, we've got to see you.

This isn't happening.

Oh, don't leave, mon cher.

Hey, yeah, we'll
share, we'll share.

You just sit tight.

Memorize some
American words, will you?

Get over here.

Malph... will you get
over here, Malph?

Find your own.

Right, Fonz.

What are you doing here?

Well, Fonz, we've
got a problem. Yeah.

Your mother told
you where I was?

Yeah, she did, but she
wouldn't have, Fonz,

not if it wasn't a
big emergency.

Yeah, Fonz, an emergency.

What are you, a parrot?

Yeah, you see, we...

we've got to play
this bar mitzvah,

and the address is
locked up in your garage.

And Malph doesn't know

where the place is, correcto?

Correcto, Fonz. Fabbo.

I got it! There he goes again.

The name of the place is Beth.

I knew it was a girl's name.

Beth Israel.

Come on, let's hurry up,
we don't want to be late.

Right... see you,
Fonz, have fun.

Fonz?

Yeah?

I was gonna ask you
what you're doing here,

but, uh, I can tell.

Yeah, I bet you can,
and so can your mother.

Oh, uh, don't blame
that on her, Fonz, really.

Don't you have someplace to go?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Fonz? Yeah?

What are you studying?

Foreign Relations?

Where was I?

Now, they don't
know this yet, you see,

but those are my pals,

and I'm going to
graduate with them, huh?

Uh... "graduate"?

Yeah, you know...

Graduate.

Oh, Fonzie.

Hey...

I don't know if she understands,

but then, I know I
don't care, you know?

You raised money by
playing at the bar mitzvah

so you could rent your own tux,

and now you'll be the
handsomest boy at prom.

I don't want to be
late to my own prom.

Now, when you get there, be sure

to stand up straight so
your cummerbund won't sag.

I-I will, Mom.

Well, I got to get going.

I want to pick up
Arlene a little early.

Her parents want to take
some home movies of us.

I, uh...

I was thinking I might do my
Jimmy Stewart impression.

That's so good.

Yeah, thanks, Mom, I like it.

Oh, uh, Richard, the
boys haven't said anything

about, uh, Fonzie
going to school?

No, Mom, of course
not, we can keep a secret.

Oh, good, I'm so glad,

'cause I was worried about that.

Well, you don't have to worry.

Good.

Oh, well, here it comes.

She's gonna tell me I look like

Casper the Friendly
Ghost or Guy Lombardo

or, uh, the Good Humor Man

or somebody like that, right?

Not at all, Rich, I think
you look very handsome.

Oh, now, that's nice.

Wow, uh, thank
you there, Joanie.

You know, he did look like
Casper the Friendly Ghost.

He did not.

Mom, did you hear the news?

Fonzie's going to
night school. No!

Oh, where did you hear that?

I heard it from Jenny Piccalo.

♪ I love a parade ♪

♪ The tramping of feet ♪

♪ I love every beat
I hear from a drum ♪

♪ The rat-a-tee-tat ♪

♪ The blare from a horn ♪

♪ The rat-a-tee-tat

♪ A bright uniform ♪

♪ Oh, I love a parade ♪

♪ Hey, hey! ♪

Oh, I'm so happy to
be here with you, Richie.

Oh. I love my corsage.

Well, I... if you
like this prom,

wait till you see what I've
got planned afterwards.

We're gonna watch
the sunrise together.

♪ I found my thrill... ♪

Later, later. All right.

I'm not wearing
this corsage, Ralph.

It looks great, Kim.

I don't think it
goes with my dress.

Fussy, fussy.

Look, Kim, it's fresh.

It's the freshest corsage here.

Ralph's father has them growing

all over the backyard.

What do you want?

Anybody can buy a corsage.

I gave it the personal touch.

I ripped it right
out of the ground

with my own two hands.

Couldn't you cut off the roots?

Let's go say hello
to Arlene and Rich.

Hey, uh, Rich, hey,
Arlene, how you doing?

Hey, come on, let's dance.

Oh, Kim, I love it when
you hum in my ear.

I'm not humming, there's
a bee in my corsage.

Thank you, thank you.

We hope you're all
enjoying the prom,

coming to you from
Jefferson's ballroom gymnasium,

just a stone's throw
from Arnold's Drive-In.

Now I take great pleasure

to bring on a very
special guest...

Arthur Fonzarelli!

Hi, guys.

Hello, Mr. C.

Hello, Arthur.

Come on, stoolie,
I'll buy you a drink.

All right now, Michelle,

I want you to stand right there.

Right.

All right.

Listen, uh, before
we start the festivities,

I just want to clear the
air about something.

A lot of you have speculated
on why I'm going to night school.

Yeah.

Some of you have said that
I-I'm studying to be a teacher.

That was going around.

Wrong.

Some of you said that I
was trying to pick up chicks.

Wrong.

Somebody even said
that I was studying

to get the Nobel Peace Prize.

That was mine.

All very reasonable
possibilities,

all of them incorrect-o.

Now, you see, I wanted
this to be a surprise.

I didn't realize that certain
people had loose lips.

All right, now the
fact is that tonight,

I join you...

as a graduating senior.

I know you're
proud; I'm proud, too.

Now, the thing is that, uh,
I will be available tonight

to sign all your
yearbooks, all right?

Have a good time.

All right.

Thank you, Fonzie.

Oh, excuse me, Fonzie.

This girl was

just stung by a bee.

Well, I think you'd better
go to the ladies' room,

put some mud on it.

Mud is good.

I be right back.

You do that.

Arthur, I don't have loose lips.

No, Mom, I-I don't think
that he was talking about you.

If the lip fits, wear it.

Yeah, well, he-he
didn't mean it that way.

I know what he meant.

You know, Fonzie,

I don't blame you
for being upset

at the way Marion was
shooting off her big mouth.

But also, I'd like
to remind you,

she does do some
nice things, too.

You know, she gets
up early in the morning,

and she makes your breakfast.

She fills your
little thermos bottle

and cooks your vegetables.

Well, I'll tell you one thing,

she's very good with
my veggies, that's true.

And I think that there comes
a time in everyone's life

when they make at least
one mistake, you know?

Uh, Michelle, would you,
uh, care to dance with me?

Yeah.

You want to dance?

Whoa!

♪ ♪

Yeah!

Oh.

Thank you, thank you.

We now have a
very special treat.

Our own Potsie Weber is
going to dedicate a song

to his fellow seniors
and to a very special girl.

Potsie will sing "Deeply."

All right!

Get those lights down.

Why don't you all come on up
to the bandstand, hold hands.

♪ You ask is my love real ♪

♪ All I can say is how I feel ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ Deeply as can be ♪

♪ You seem to need to know ♪

♪ How I would hurt
if you would go ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ Down inside of me ♪

♪ Down inside ♪

♪ Is our love forever ♪

♪ Can anyone ever know? ♪

♪ For all I remember ♪

♪ I never have felt love so ♪

♪ So deeply ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ Our love is made by two ♪

♪ And I can't make
it without you ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ Deeply ♪

♪ For our love ♪

♪ For our love ♪

♪ For our love. ♪

Potsie,

that's a beautiful song and
you did a wonderful job with it.

Oh, thank you. Thank you!

It was great!

Great song! Thanks.

All right.

All right, this is it, Rich.

After they play "Good
Night Sweetheart,"

we all split for the lake.

Yeah.

Clear. Excuse me.

Hey, what's
Mr. Connors doing here?

I don't know, but whenever
Connors shows up,

it's something bad. Yeah.

Yeah, the last surprise we
had was a fire drill in the rain.

Attention.

Vice Principal Connors
would like a few words with you.

Thank you, graduates,
and congratulations.

However, I have just come
from looking at the final exams

in Coach McMillan's
Health and Hygiene class.

And I must say that I
am shocked to find out

that this class is
nothing but a sham.

One genius thought that a
patella was a nickel cigar.

Hey, he called me a genius!

I have taken the liberty
of regrading all the exams

and everybody has flunked.

Now, now,

if any of you flunkees want to,

want to graduate, you
may all... it is open to

all of these seniors... You
may take another exam

tomorrow morning at 8:30 sharp.

But if you don't pass,
you don't graduate.

And now, you may go
back to having your fun.

Some of the seniors may not
have heard my announcement,

so please make
sure that they hear it.

I understand that you're very
good at spreading the word.

He flunked the whole class!

Big deal. I didn't like
Health and Hygiene anyway.

Potsie, don't you realize
we're not graduating now?

Oh, sure we will.

We're all gonna study right
after we go watch the sunrise.

Yeah. Sunrise?

Uh, we're not
watching any sunrise.

We've got to go
to Kim's and study.

Oh, yeah.

I'll meet you up on Blueberry
Hill some other night.

Bye.

I'm sorry about the bee sting.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

No sunrise.

Richard, we'll discuss how
this happened tomorrow.

But right now, I think you guys

better go home
and start studying.

Now, calm down, Howard.

We'll go home and we'll
make some coffee for the boys.

I can't believe this.

Of all nights... We're
not gonna graduate.

We're gonna be stuck
here for another year.

What are we gonna do? I don't...

Stop moaning.

You're gonna pass this
test, you're gonna graduate.

Oh, come on, Fonz,
it's out of the question.

The test is tomorrow
morning at 8:30.

Let me tell you something,
I think you're forgetting

that you got graduation,

one of the most
important things in your life.

You got your big five.

You got life, you got death,

you got marriage,
you got graduation.

Yeah, but, Fonz,
that's only four.

What's number five?

Heyyy.

Oh, I like number five.

Listen up.

I want you at my
place in 20 minutes.

You're gonna study your little
heads off, you understand?

All right, you're gonna
graduate with me.

I didn't go through night school
to graduate by myself, dig it?

Right, Fonz. Okay, Fonz.

All right, departez-vous.

Yeah, okay, Fonz.
Yeah, okay, Fonz, yeah.

Oh, shh. What a night.

We blew the sunrise, and
now we're not gonna graduate.

It's worse than that, Rich,

We're gonna have to give
back our graduation presents.

I didn't get any!

Well, it's that time again.

And time for the last
dance of the evening.

And it's time for us to
say, in our own way...

♪ Good night ♪

♪ Sweetheart ♪

♪ Till we meet ♪

♪ Tomorrow ♪

You understand,
this is the last dance,

then I have to go and
help my friends study.

Dig it?

They can start without me.

♪ Good night. ♪

We're never gonna...

You're gonna pass this test,

and you're gonna graduate.

I didn't go through night school
to graduate by my lonesome.

"You will receive your
diploma in the mail."

And I studied my heart out.

And now they want to send
me my diploma in the mail,

like I was a "Dear Occupant."

When I worry, I cook, and
when you worry, you eat.

That's why we have
a happy marriage.

And that's why you
have a happy tummy.

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪