Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 3, Episode 24 - Arnold's Wedding - full transcript

Best man Fonzie's fears that Arnold's wedding plans will be ruined by the Fonzarelli Curse appear to come true after the groom's newly arrived Japanese bride-to-be calls the whole thing off.

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪



♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Johnny kissed the teacher ♪
♪ He's a bird ♪

♪ He tiptoed up to reach
her ♪ ♪ He's a bird ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a live audience.

♪ He's the teacher's pet now ♪
♪ He's a dog ♪

♪ What he wants he can
get now ♪ ♪ What a dog... ♪

Boy, Malph, you really
blew it, you know it?

Oh, don't tell me I blew
it. You threw a lousy pass.

Lousy pass? You didn't even
know the play. I know the play.

Yeah? I haven't seen
you run it right once.

Oh, yeah, get someone to
hike you the ball, I'll show you.

Where's Richie?

Hey, Fonz, where's Rich?

He's in the kitchen with Arnold.

POTSIE: What's
he doing in there?

Exchanging recipes. What do I
know what he's doing in there.

Hey, Fonz, would you like to
bend over and hike us the ball?

Right, Fonz.

Why do you need a hike?
Just throw it. Okay, okay.

Come on, clear the field.
You're on the 50-yard line.

We got a game going
on here, come on.

All right, do a down and out
on two, okay, got it? Right.

Okay, ready... hut,
hut one, hut two...

What's this?

This not my food.

Attention, everybody.

Arnold's got an
announcement to make.

(clears throat)

Arnold's will be
closed next weekend.

(kids groaning) RALPH:
You can't do that.

I have a date.

This is the only place
where I can sit for nothing.

Yeah, Arnold, how
come you're closing?

I'm closing because...
(imitates drumroll)

I'm getting married!

(cheering)

Congratulations.

Drinks on the house!

Uh, small sodas, please.

Hey, Arnold, who
are you marrying?

I'm marrying a Japanese girl,

girl from Japan
named Momo Okomoto.

Japan?

I thought you were Chinese.

Yeah, Chinese on
my mother's side,

Japanese on my father's
side, remember? Oh, yeah.

You see, the
families got together

and arranged a
wedding a long time ago.

An arranged wedding.

You mean you
haven't even seen her?

Boy, I heard of blind dates...

Well, they've been writing
to each other for years,

and they exchanged
pictures and fell in love.

Yeah.

Yeah, must be some hot letters.

You sent her your picture, huh?

Yeah, my cutest one.

She loved it.

She say I look like Clark Gable.

RALPH: When is she coming?

Tonight.

She's staying at my house.

See, she can't stay with
me till after the wedding.

What a quaint tradition.

Hey, are you going to throw
a bachelor party, Arnold?

Yeah, this is it. Drink up.

Okay, here's to your wedding.

Okay.

I'm getting married.

I can't believe it.

You know who make
it all possible? Who?

The Fonz.

Hey, don't blame me
with your problems.

I not blaming you...
you big palooka.

Palooka?

Yeah, I'm thanking you.

See, I couldn't get married
till my business was a success.

I mean, you bring the kids in,

you wreck my
chicken stand on TV...

You make me famous!

You're making me blush.

Listen, Fonzie, I got a
big favor to ask of you.

Yeah.

I want you to be my best man.

Oh, yeah, no,
I-I don't think so.

Thanks very much, but no thanks.

No? Why not?

Well, because I got
something else to do, that's why.

I'm going on a long
trip, is what I'm doing.

Oh, what, take a trip...
you can take a trip any time.

Arnold only get
married once, I hope.

Yeah, Fonz, Arnold's right.

Yes, a big honor to be best man.

I know that, but, uh...

Oh, come on, be a
buddy, be a good paloo...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, all
right, I'll be your best man.

Just don't tweak me
in the cheek anymore.

Okay. Thank you, Fonzie.

Boy, he make Arnold a happy man.

At least I think I'm happy.

What happen if Momo
come here, she don't like me?

Oh, everybody loves Clark Gable.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

♪ Here come the bride ♪

♪ Here come the groom ♪

♪ After the wedding,
we're sharing a room. ♪

(continues humming tune)

RICHIE: I haven't
seen Fonzie this sad

since Paula Petralunga
became a nun.

I think I'm going to
go talk to him about it.

Okay.

Hey, Fonz?

I noticed that, uh,
you weren't too excited

about being Arnold's best man.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you're a good noticer.

Well, why?

I mean, he's a good
friend of yours, isn't he?

Hey, listen, it's got nothing
to do with friendship.

It's got to do with
the Fonzarelli Curse.

There's a Fonzarelli Curse, huh?

Yeah. That's right.

I've been asked to be
best man twice in my life.

Two times a disaster.

Bernie Colletti, right?

He had a slugfest
with his fiancée

in the vestibule of the church.

He wouldn't marry a chick
that was tougher than him.

And then there was Tony Rico.

Remember Tony? Sure.

Yeah. So he drops
his ring at the alter,

he bends over to pick it up,

she makes a pass at me,
and that marriage was called

on account of wandering lips.

(laughing): Wandering
lips... That's not funny.

No, I know that. I know that.

I mean, I don't
want to be the cause

of another disaster, you know?

Yeah, but this is not a curse,
Fonz, it's just a coincidence.

Oh, yeah?

It's already cursed, it's
already started, huh?

He's going to marry a
chick named Mo-Mo.

It's not going to work.

MARION: Dear, hurry and wash up.

Arnold and his girl
will be here soon.

HOWARD: Mm...

Hey, Marion, what
happened to our table?

Oh, that's our coffee table.

Oh, for a minute I
thought I was growing.

Howard, this is how
the Japanese eat.

Yeah, well, the Japanese
also take baths together,

but that doesn't
mean we have to.

We used to.

Yeah, but, uh, I was a
lot slimmer in those days.

Mom, Dad, they're here. Oh.

Arnold's out there
paying the cab,

and, uh, this is his fiancée.

These are my parents.

Momo.

Mama.

Terukazu.

Papa.

No, no, that's...
that's Terukazu.

That's Momo's chaperone.

Oh, I thought chaperones
were supposed to be women.

You want to tell him?

Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham,

I want to thank you for
your gracious hospitality.

Oh, thank you, Momo.

I'm sure you'll be
very happy in America.

Joanie... Oh... No, dear.

Oh, come on, Momo.

I'll show you my room.

RICHIE: Uh, Terukazu?

Why don't you take
the luggage upstairs?

(vehicle driving away)

Hey, Arnold. Oh, hi.

She's so beautiful. Lovely.

Aren't you happy?
She's just great, Arnold.

You should be so excited.
She's such a beautiful girl.

She's terrific. Really
nice. (Marion sighs)

She hates me.

What?!

I knew it the minute
she got off the plane.

I saw a "I hate Arnold" face.

The Fonzie Curse.

HOWARD: What's that?

No, no, nothing.

Come on, don't be ridiculous.

I mean, I was there, I
didn't see anything like that.

You only see "I
hate Richie" face.

I'm an expert on "I
hate Arnold" face.

Come on, now, Arnold,

she wouldn't travel all this
distance because she hates you.

She expected a successful
American businessman

and she sees Arnold.

But you are successful.

Sure, but you tell
a Japanese girl

"successful American
businessman,"

and they think about Clark
Gable like in the movies.

Well, we'll just
have to show her

that successful businessmen
don't look like Clark Gable.

Look at Howard, for instance.

You're cuter.
Mm... Look, Arnold,

why don't you take Momo
down to your place tomorrow

and show her what a successful
businessman you really are.

You really think I'm successful?

Well, sure, you
have a nice business.

Yes, you're highly respected,

and you're part
of the community.

I think you've done very well.

You're right. Huh.

I come to this country,
I start with nothing.

Next week, I putting
in a pizza oven.

Really? Yeah.

I show her I'm just as
good as Clark Gable.

(chuckles): Maybe
I grow a moustache.

Oh, I already got a moustache.

(cackling)

Hey, Arnold, she's here.

Oh, good. Listen, Richie,

you help me get rid of
that chaperone a minute.

I want to be alone with Momo.

Oh, oh, right.

Uh, welcome.

Welcome to my, uh,
humble but elegant

gourmet hamburger palace.

Uh, Clark Gable, who
also has a moustache,

got one just like it.

Uh, come, sit.

(speaking Japanese) Oh!

RICHIE: Say, uh,
say, listen, Terukazu,

uh, how would you like to learn

how to play an
American game, huh?

Why don't you
come right over here.

Hey, guys, this is uh,
Momo's chaperone.

We're going to teach
him how to play pinball.

Yes. This is one of the most
popular restaurants in the city.

All the kids come to eat here.

Eat, spend money,
drink soda, spend money.

They crazy about me.

American businessman.

Crazy about me.

Now!

We're just crazy about
you. (all shouting praise)

Thank you.

They, uh, love my hamburgers.

You're very American, Arnold.

Oh, sure. (chuckles)

Last Armistice Day, I
carried the flag in the parade.

Yeah, I mean I'm a regular
Yankee Doodle Dandy.

I been to World Series,
I got hit by a foul ball...

(sobbing) Oh, don't cry.

It didn't hurt.

(sobbing): No, it's not that...

What? It's what? (sobbing)

Why is she crying?

How do I know? I just met her.

Momo... (grunts)

I want to... I think I...

I'll call her on the phone.

Hey, Rich, what happened?

It's the Fonzarelli Curse.

Here she comes. Oh.

(Marion sighs)

Well, bad news... Momo
called the wedding off.

See, I told you, I
told you, that's it.

Well, I guess Arnold couldn't
compete with Clark Gable.

Nobody can.

Aaayyh!

Well, almost nobody.

This has nothing to
do with Clark Gable.

Momo noticed how
Americanized Arnold is,

and she figured that since
she is still very Japanese,

she would hold
Arnold's career back.

Well, what did
Arnold say about that?

That's the problem.

All he found out was
that the marriage is off.

She was crying so
hard, she hung up.

It's a shame. She
really loves him.

So there's not going
to be a wedding.

Yes, there's going
to be a wedding.

Arthur is the best man,

and he's going to go
and explain this to Arnold,

and then Arnold
can talk to Momo.

Now, listen, listen,

I have caused enough trouble
already, you know what I mean?

The only shot that those two
people have is if I stay out it.

The Fonzarelli Curse
cannot be broken.

It's ridiculous to try.

That's it, that's all,
and that's good-bye!

Fonzie, sit on it.

Everybody duck!

What did I just hear?

I think we should just
all calm down, and...

I'll handle this, Howard.

You heard what I said.

I understand about
your curse and all that,

and I know you are the Fonz

with the "Hey" and the "Whoa,"

but you are the best man,

and you have an
obligation as that best man,

and you cannot
shirk your obligations.

Even the Fonz cannot
stand in the way of true love,

and you have got
to talk to Arnold,

if you get my drift,

and that's all, and
that's it, and good-bye.

What guts.

I think I'm going
to have to hit her.

No, you're not
going to hit my wife.

Oh, yeah? Well,
then I'll hit you.

You can't hit my dad.

All right, I'll hit you.

You can't hit my son.

Well, I gotta hit somebody.

You know where Potsie is?

Look, Fonzie...

All right, all right. I know.

I'm going, I'm going,
but I'm not going

because I just got yelled at,

and I'm not going
because she thinks

she's right and I'm wrong.

I'm going because I'm
a sweetheart of a guy!

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la, la... ♪

You got him here, Arthur.

That's very nice.

Hey, don't try to make up.

All right, you ready?

Uh, uh, yeah.

How do you feel?

Okay, take your best shot.

(clears throat)

Uh, Momo?

Uh, Fonzie tell me

why you don't want to marry me.

See, I didn't come
to this country

to marry a American girl.

American girls are nice,
but, uh, so is all America,

you know... cheeseburgers,
car washes, holidays,

Lincoln birthday, Washington,

Chinese New Year.

But, uh, I like the
Oriental culture.

I was raised in it.

I like the Oriental ways.

I want Oriental wife,
Oriental babies...

Isn't that nice?

Just like a movie.

Momo, what is in your heart?

What is in your heart
is in my heart, too.

You said it better
than Clark Gable.

Hey, that was nice.

Yeah.

All right, listen, uh,

I now pronounce
you fiancées. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah!

(speaks Japanese)

I better go with them

to make sure Terukazu
doesn't sit on her.

Well, Fonzie, I guess

that's the end of
your curse, huh?

Hey, they ain't married yet.

Don't worry... The
ceremony's tomorrow.

Yeah, that's right, Fonz.

You gotta get fitted
in wedding outfit.

Uh... Richie tell you where.

Boy, I so happy. I
love her so much.

I'm going to put a
new item on the menu.

I call it a Momoburger.

Fonz, this is where you
can go to get your outfit.

Hey, that's cool. I
look great in a tux.

A tux? No, no, it's
not a tux. It's a kimono.

A kimono? Y-you mean, you mean,

one of those long, dre... uh...

Right, a kimono.

Yeah, well, then count me out.

See, I don't wear a dress.

And, uh, don't get
whacko on me, Mrs. C.,

and tell me about
my obligations again.

Fonzie, a lot of men
in Japan wear kimonos.

Well, I mean,
that's their business

if they want to wear a dress.

The Fonz don't
dabble in female attire.

Well, Fonz, this isn't a dress.

Hey, let me put an end

to this discourse
right now, huh?

One question...
Does it have a fly?

No.

I rest my case.

(koto playing traditional
Japanese theme)

Oh, the place just looks lovely.

I've never been to
an Oriental wedding.

Well, it's not just

an Oriental wedding,
Mrs. Cunningham.

It's a little American
and a little Oriental.

That's the way my Momo want it.

How you doing, Arnold?

You got the jitters?

No, no. We took the
blood test. We fine.

Listen, uh, it's getting late.

Where's my best man?

Now, don't worry,
Fonzie will be here.

Maybe he's caught
in traffic or something.

Yes, the traffic was very heavy.

Oh, traffic never bother Fonzie.

He drive on the sidewalk.

Oh, I know he not coming.

No, no, he's coming.

He'll show up. He wouldn't let

a friend down. He'll be here.

Yeah, he better get here soon.

My Aunt Sumi get nervous.

Aunt Sumi?

Aunt Sumi is the family
matriarch in this country.

See, I lose big face with her

if I have a wedding
without my best man.

Aunt Sumi?

Uh, folks, this is Aunt Sumi.

Aunt Sumi, this is
the Cunninghams.

(back cracking)

Help me, Marion, please.

Oh, Howard, I can't
take you anywhere.

Aunt Sumi... Uh...
Aunt Sumi like to bow.

So does Howard.

I do not.

Listen, uh, I
going to go mingle.

Oh! Mitsube Sakataka
and Ling Tau Houng,

I want you to meet
Bert and Estelle.

You know, I don't think
Fonzie's going to show.

Did he say anything?

I haven't been able
to find him all day.

I got Ralph out looking
for him right now.

All right, we have to find a way

to stall a little longer. Right.

Look, can Potsie do
anything else besides eat?

Yeah, he wrote a special
song for the wedding.

HOWARD: Oh, boy.

Hey, I just tried a
new Oriental delicacy.

Yeah. Hey, Pots, it's
time for your song, okay?

Oh, great.

Attention, everybody. Attention.

Thank you.

Our very own Potsie Weber
has written a special song

to commemorate Arnold
and Momo's wedding,

and here he is.

(clearing throat)

♪ A Japanese wedding
song from Potsie to you ♪

♪ One set of chopsticks
made just for two ♪

♪ Arnold is so happy,
now he's getting flabby ♪

♪ With sukiyaki every
night made by his new wife ♪

♪ Ah so, ah so,
barefoot you will go ♪

♪ Ah so, ah so, watch
out for your toe... ♪

(laughing)

Thank you, Potsie.

Hey, hey, don't worry...
It's an old custom.

They loved you.

Of course.

Yeah, look, go
have some more lox.

Okay, Mr. C.

(panting): Listen...
Did you find Fonzie?

No, and I tried every
place he could be.

I'm waiting out front for him.

I checked his apartment,
the pool hall, the YWCA.

He's nowhere around.

He even broke a date
with the Polaski twins

in front of the
optometrist's store.

I don't understand
where he could possi...

You mean to tell me

that he took the Polaski
twins to the optometrist?

Yeah, he likes to march
them back and forth

in front of the window to
drive the customers crazy.

He kills me.

I can't keep my guests
waiting any longer.

We start the wedding
without Fonzie.

Listen, everybody,
we start the wedding.

Okay, Aunt Sumi,
we start the wedding.

I get a new best man.

Uh, Ralph Malph, wonderful guy.

Ralphie, you going
to be best man.

You gotta change your clothes.

Change my clothes?

Mrs. Cunningham,
can I borrow your dress?

Go home and get your bathrobe.

My bathrobe? No, I'm
going to try to rent a kimono.

Out of my way, I'm
going to be the best man.

No, he's here. He's here.

The best man's here.

It's about time.

Boy, Fonzie, you look great.

You were almost late.

We were going to
start without you.

Let me tell you something.

You're lucky I'm
here in the first place.

I had to ride my bike
over here sidesaddle.

He's plenty cool.

Ah, Fonzie is here.

Now I'm a happy man.

Momo's all ready.

What's going on?

We're ready.

Everyone take
your places, please.

Oh, come on sweetheart.

Cunninghams over here.

Fonzie, come stand by me.

And Aunt Sumi between us.

Very good.

(koto playing)

Ah... Here. You
got to read this.

What's this?

Oh, that's, uh, Momo
and my welcome

to all our guests.

That's cool.

"On behalf of
Arnold and Momo"...

That's these two...

"I would like to
thank you for coming

"to witness this wedding.

"Now, there is a saying that
marriages are made in heaven,

"and that might be so,

but most of this wedding
was made in their hearts."

Hey, huh?

That's very nice.

Oh, here. You
gotta read this, too.

Hey, wait a minute.

You're thanking them
a lot here, aren't you?

Oh, that's in Japanese,

for my guests who
don't understand English.

Hey, Arnie, I don't
talk Japanese.

It's okay. Just read the words.

It's all written out.

It's tough being a sweetheart.

"Meva Suma, Kono Tobe, wah

"Arnold toe Momo no,

"Tah may ne Ki tey, Kuba sabe...

Koto oh ne, arigato, ga
zai ma su." Huh? Huh?

Okay, let the ceremony begin.

(koto music)

Fonz, I guess there's
no more curse, huh?

Hey, you talk to
me about this robe,

I'll give you one long curse.

De Wa Ko Ko Ni Na Ta Ta Chi ca

Fu Fu de a Ku Ko To O
Sen Gen Ta she wa su.

I now pronounce
you man and wife.

Oh, congratulations. Aw.

Thank you, thank you.

Arnold? Huh?

Where are you going to
go for your honeymoon?

Oh, we're just going
to go visit relatives.

Oh, you're going back to Tokyo?

No, Miami Beach.

I hope you weren't offended

when I got a little
peeved at you

the other day.

Hey, that's all right, Mrs. C.

Everybody's got a temper
tantrum once in a while.

You did a wonderful job, Arthur.

Shall we make up?

Hey, uh, does she yell
at you like that often?

Mm-hmm, but we
make up differently.

Hey, I get your drift.

Okay, for all my
American guests,

a little American music.

Hit it, Teru.

(slow ballad playing)

I'll tell you something.

I'd like to dance with
that chick over there.

RICHIE: Oh.

Yeah, she probably
doesn't speak English.

What, are you kidding?

I'll use international language.

(snaps)

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪