Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 3, Episode 16 - The Second Anniversary Show - full transcript
Fonzie's friends reminisce about the impact he's made on their lives when the Cunninghams throw him a surprise birthday party at Arnold's Drive-In.
♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days... ♪
Welcome to the Happy Days
"Second Anniversary Special."
♪ My cycle hums ♪
♪ Ready to race to you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)
♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪
♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
♪ Saturday, what a day ♪
♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ These happy days ♪
♪ Are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are yours ♪
♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪
BOY 1: What time's the
Fonzie supposed to be here?
BOY 2: Yeah, it's supposed
to be a surprise, isn't it?
GIRL: I don't think
Fonzie likes surprises.
(girl laughs)
Hey, you look, Ralph.
Hey, you see him?
He's in the parking lot!
Everybody, get in your places!
Turn out the lights!
Hurry up! Get ready!
Hey, Arnold!
Where is that man?
What happened?
(chuckling): You forgot
to pay your electricity bill?
ALL: Surprise!
Come on, sit down
right here, Fonz.
Right at the head of the table.
Right in the seat of honor.
Happy birthday, Fonz.
Yeah, happy birthday,
Fonz. Happy birthday, Fonz.
Cunningham, you know, I
didn't give you my okay for this.
Well, if I had told you, it
wouldn't have been a surprise,
and you know how
you love surprises, Fonz.
Yeah, but I like to be the
surpriser, not the surprisee.
I thought I brought
you up better than that.
That's funny.
I thought I brought him up.
I thought we brought him up.
The way he's turned out,
I wouldn't brag about it.
FONZIE: Hey!
Hey, let me tell you something.
That's why it is, uh, really
lovely to live at their house.
They're a lot of fun, you know?
Oh, it's been fun
having you, too, Fonzie.
Yeah, fun.
You've been fun from
the day you moved in.
I remember we were
showing the apartment
to your grandmother, remember?
And this is such
a nice place, too.
Do you like it, Fonz?
I just said I did, didn't I?
Listen, why don't you take it?
Yeah, and what am I gonna do
with my grandmother,
put her in storage?
No, no, she stays at your
place, and you move in here.
Cunningham, I knew I wasn't
wastin' my time with you, huh?
Give me that paper.
All right, you got a deal!
This is Fonzie's new place.
You're not gonna regret it.
No, I'm not.
I'm gonna go home
and pack right now.
Oh, Mrs. Cunningham,
this is a great touch.
Very nice.
Could use a few more
mirrors, but very nice.
Aaayyh!
Yeah! I-I did it!
Dad is gonna be so happy.
You know, I rented the
place, and I got his price for it.
Well, maybe we should
have waited till he was here.
Sometimes I just have the
feeling he doesn't like Fonzie.
Oh, sure he does.
That's all just an act.
Now, listen, Mom.
I want you to let me be
the one to tell Dad, okay?
Boy, oh, boy, she really
didn't want this apartment.
She threatened to do
a wheelie over my foot.
Dad, I've got some
great news for you.
What's that?
I rented the apartment.
To who?
Fonzie.
(yelling)
He's our son!
He's your son, Marion!
My pills! Where are my pills!
I'll tell you something,
Mr. Cunningham,
I am really touched.
I mean, you choked your
son just 'cause I was moving in.
Yeah, well, I guess
I was just overcome with joy.
But you are the
perfect tenant, Fonzie.
With you around, I can
always look forward to
my quiet evenings, huh?
(laughter)
WOMAN (outside): Hey,
Fonzie! It's me, Vivian!
What was that?
Well, that's, uh, Vivian, dear.
Well, I heard that.
Do you have a
date tonight, Fonz?
A "maybe" date.
VIVIAN: Fonzie,
are you coming out?
This is really
embarrassing, huh?
Some people got no class.
They just interrupt
a great meal.
Don't you ever
do that, shortcake.
Fonzie, are you in there?
Hey, will you shut
up?! We're eating!
There's smoke coming
out of Fonzie's apartment
and I think he's there!
A fire! Because I saw his bike!
What do we do? Wait a
minute. Now, don't panic.
Remember what
your father taught us.
Cool heads. Right.
Each one of us has a job to do.
I get the extinguisher.
I-I get the ladder.
I get the axe.
Your father calls the
fire department. Right.
Remember, cool heads.
Cool. Fire!
We've got fire!
Listen, listen. I can dig it.
I bring a lot of excitement
into your lives, right?
Sometimes more
than we need. Aaayyh.
Howard, it's his birthday.
Yeah, right, Fonz.
You, you have brought
us an awful lot of memories.
Yes, things we
will never forget.
You taught Richie
how to be tough.
Oh, right, let me
tell you something.
That is not an easy task
for one human being.
Let's face it, you're
a good fighter.
Hey, I'm the best.
But in the entire time
you've known me,
have you ever
seen me in a fight?
Well, no, but that's
always because
the other guy backs down first.
I rest my case.
Do you think that
could work for me?
Cunningham, with
that Howdy Doody face,
you can only be so tough.
But I'll tell you something.
I'll tell you something.
With a little practice,
there is always hope.
Don't ever grab me again!
What?
Just practicing.
Yeah, you see?
See, that wasn't bad.
It's not good, either,
but it wasn't bad, though.
Now, listen, what you got to do
is you got to don't yell,
you gotta keep it low, see?
That'll make it
more threatening.
Hi, Rich.
MARION: Good morning, Richard.
Would you like cornflakes
for breakfast, dear?
I never want cornflakes again.
Oatmeal! Oh!
Well, I, I thought
you liked cornflakes.
Oatmeal! I'll make oatmeal.
What kind of a way is
that to talk to your mother?
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom;
cornflakes are okay.
See, I was just
trying out some advice
that Fonzie gave me.
He said if you sound
tough, people listen.
And it works.
Boy, I tell you, this
one with her high shoe
and this one yelling
like King Kong!
Who can eat
breakfast around here?
I'm going down to the store.
You're not going
anywhere! Sit down!
Start eating, Howie.
All of you, eat!
Well, chalk one up for the Fonz.
The name is Richie.
Don't ever call
me anything else.
When I turn back around,
you guys better be gone.
What happened?
Well, you just scared
Potsie and Ralph to death.
Did Frankie back down?
Oh, no, he's going like this.
That's not backing
down; that's beating up.
Let's go, bing-bong!
I'm ready!
Wait just a second!
Why isn't this working?
I mean, I've got the
tough voice going on.
I got to tell you
something, Cunningham.
I left out one
very small detail.
Tell me quick.
You got no reputation
for toughness.
Once in your life, you
had to have hit somebody.
That's not a good
detail to leave out, Fonz.
Have you got any advice at all?
Yeah. When he's
taking off his jacket,
hit him before
his arms are free.
You mean if I trick
him, I can beat him?
Oh, no. He's gonna kill you,
but you get one good shot in.
Hey, what's going on?
Trying to get Fonzie to
fight your battles for you?
Hey, Frankie,
you just make
sure it's a fair fight.
Sure, Fonzie.
(chuckles)
Okay.
Now I'm ready.
Hi-ya-ha-ha!
What are you doing to my coat?
This time it was your coat.
Next time it's
gonna be you, Jack!
This guy is crazy!
(yelling gibberish)
Come on, I'll take you all on!
Come on!
I guess I was pretty
tough that day.
POTSIE: Not bad.
Anybody want to hear a story
about Fonzie's most unusual
girlfriend at the sock hop?
Again, Ralph?
Anybody want to hear
the most unusual story
about the late Ralph Malph?
(crowd exclaims)
Hey, Fonz, how come
you always help Rich out,
but you never help us out?
Hey, I always help you guys out.
Don't I, huh?
Yeah, well, you
never fixed us up
with one of your
girls like you did Rich.
The man was in a slump.
You know that he even blew it
in Milwaukee's best
pick-up place, huh?
I've had it, Fonz.
I'm gonna become a monk.
Hey, don't become a monk.
You're gonna hate the hairstyle.
I'm going home.
I'm just going home.
All right, all right,
so you're in worse
shape than I thought.
So this calls for drastic
measures, all right?
This Saturday, I'm gonna
call two of my chicks,
and you are gonna
double-date with the Fonz.
Oh, that's really
nice of you, Fonz.
I know.
Hey, Fonzie!
Hey, DeFazio! They're here!
All right!
Laverne.
This is Laverne
DeFazio. She's mine.
And this is Shirley Feeney.
She's yours as you can see.
Mm... Nice to meet you, Richie.
My pleasure.
Hey, they're getting
along pretty well.
All right, plant it here,
girls, plant it here.
Would you like to sit down?
Staring?
How'd you like your
eyes closed for good, huh?
You're too much, Laverne.
So, Shirl, what do
you think of this kid?
You've been with worse.
Oh, he's nice. And a tie, too.
And a hanky.
Is that for showing
or for blowing?
(laughter)
Well, it's been
quite an evening.
What do you say we go
to Richie's house, huh?
Are you nervous?
Me? No. Nervous? No.
Uh, Miss Feeney,
are you thirsty?
Would you like
anything to drink?
I could sure go for a beer.
How about you?
Oh, yeah, beer, right.
Okay, coming right up.
Oh, say, would you...?
Uh, would you like some
pretzels or anything?
Okay. All right.
Uh, listen, why don't
you just stay here,
and I'll get it, all right?
All right. Okay.
Hey, about some chips?
Would you like some chips?
Sure. Whatever.
Okay, I think we got those.
Hey, listen, tell me the truth.
Why did you and Laverne
get into that fight anyway?
Oh, that.
Oh, when Laverne and I
went into the ladies' room,
I walked up to her and I
said, sweet as you please,
"Laverne, you have
a mouth like a sewer,"
which she does.
And she said, "A sewer"?
And I said, "Yeah, a sewer."
So she curled up her
chubby little hand and ba...!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh, Richie, I'm so sorry!
Oh, oh, Richie,
oh, are you all right?
Are you all right?
Oh, Richie, I'm so sorry.
Oh, dear. Oh, here,
let me kiss the boo-boo.
Richie, we're home!
(Joanie screams)
What's going on?
Oh, no-nothing,
there's nothing going on.
Oh, foo! Oh, I missed it!
(over jukebox): ♪ You ain't
nothing but a hound dog ♪
♪ Crying all the time ♪
♪ You ain't nothing
but a hound dog ♪
♪ Crying all the time ♪
♪ Well, you ain't... ♪
Look at Joanie.
You know, our little
baby is growing up.
She sure has changed
in the last couple of years.
♪ Well, they said you was... ♪
I want to get to
school early, too.
Jeanie Scarsdale is going to
tell us where babies come from.
She's got a book with
pictures and everything.
You sit right down.
I will drive you to school.
We'll have a little
talk on the way.
Okay, but it won't be
the same without pictures.
Can we have another
talk about boys?
I think you should get a
man's point of view this time.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
I'll talk to Fonzie tomorrow.
I think I can do
that trick, Fonz.
Oh, give this man room.
All right, guys, watch this.
I got it. I got it. Ready?
Try it again.
Ow!
Come on, Fonz. It's a trick.
Tell us how you do it.
Hey, the one thing you
guys got to understand
is that the Fonz got power
that goes beyond
explanation. Dig?
I think maybe I'll
just sack out here,
snuggle up with the fire.
Play cowboy for a while.
(various animals calling)
(hooting)
(chattering)
(croaking)
(bird twittering)
(chattering, hooting,
ribbeting, twittering)
Cool it!
(animal calls die out abruptly)
Let's see Tarzan do that.
Come on, Fonz. It's a trick.
You can at least show
us how to start the jukebox.
Look, forget about the machines.
Fonz, just once,
tell us your secret
for getting those great chicks.
I remember one time
when the Fonz wasn't
with such a great chick.
(laughter)
I keep warning you, Malph.
You can't hit me, Fonz.
You're a member of the
auxiliary police. Remember?
Yeah. That would be
auxiliary police brutality.
Now, listen, Malph,
I wouldn't count on it.
Huh? Ooh! You wouldn't.
Hey, look at the Fonz.
He looks like he joined
the Air Force or something.
Hey, Fonz, you look like
you joined the Air
Force or something.
Yeah? You want a
B-52 up your nose?
Some guys are good lovers,
and some guys are good fighters.
I happen to be both.
All right, now listen up!
Girls, one time! One time only!
Line right up here.
Kiss the Fonz for a buck.
Now, that's a
bargain at any price.
(girls screaming)
You give girls engagement rings?
Hey, don't be silly.
They give them to me.
Fonzie, it's just a motorcycle.
Just a motorcycle, Mr. C?
And I suppose your
mother was just a mother.
"Fonzie, shut up?
Fonzie, shut up?"
Look, why don't you just say,
"Fonzie, would you
remove all my teeth?"
It's the same result.
Hey, let me tell you something.
Everybody gets scared.
If you're going to
survive in this world,
you just can't show it
all the time, that's all.
Yeah, but you never get scared.
I know. That's why I'm the Fonz.
Hey, listen, I'm going in my
office now to check my hair.
Okay, Fonz. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, Fonz!
There's more so hurry back.
Okay, everybody, ready to hear
about Fonzie's
weirdest girlfriend?
What took you so long?
Do you know how long it
takes to put on mascara?
This is really embarrassing.
What could be worth
all this, you know?
I'm embarrassed, too.
How do you think I felt asking
my sister to borrow mascara?
At least it'll all be over soon.
I hope so.
This is really dumb. Yeah.
(slow music playing)
Oh, brother!
Wallflower, let's dance.
(blowing air)
Fonzie.
Fonzie?
It's me. Richie.
See, this is all a part
of the Demon's initiation.
I knew that.
I knew that all the time.
You did?
Yeah. I was just
trying to help you out.
You know what I mean?
Oh, hey, thanks.
Yeah, well, don't
bother thanking me.
I mean, just beat it
so that no one sees me
standing here talking to you.
You know what I mean?
Hey! Dance.
Don't ask.
Oh, you told them, huh?
(nervous chuckle)
Oh! Now, listen. Now, come on.
It's a birthday party, right?
I mean, I never
had a birthday party
thrown for me by, uh... guys.
You know, I had
a couple by girls,
but that's not for publication.
Anyway, listen.
For all you people
to go through all this,
you know, that's nice,
'cause you only throw a party
for people you like, right?
Right! All right.
And I want to say that
the Fonz is touched.
Now, I don't want
to get all misty here,
so I will just say thank you.
(cheering)
Happy birthday, Fonz.
Thank you.
And now I'm going
to kill this man.
♪ Which nobody can deny. ♪
(cheering)
Listen, now, I just want to
say thank you very much.
This is a really nice party.
Make a wish, and
blow out the candles.
Whoa!
(cheering)
Boy, Ralph, that
is really funny!
Fonzie blew in Richie's ear.
(cackling)
Hey, Arnie, sit on it.
(cackling)
Confucius say...
(speaking Chinese)
What does that mean?
Sit on it, Kirk.
Sit on it, Richie.
Sit on it, Potsie.
Very funny.
Sit on it, Malph.
Sit on it, Howard.
Sit on it, Fonzie. Aaayyh!
Fonzie... sit on it.
JOANIE: Everybody duck!
What did I just hear?
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ Happy Days. ♪
(music playing,
indistinct talking)
(Happy Days theme playing)
♪ Good-bye gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days... ♪
Welcome to the Happy Days
"Second Anniversary Special."
♪ My cycle hums ♪
♪ Ready to race to you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)
♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪
♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
♪ Saturday, what a day ♪
♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ These happy days ♪
♪ Are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are yours ♪
♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪
BOY 1: What time's the
Fonzie supposed to be here?
BOY 2: Yeah, it's supposed
to be a surprise, isn't it?
GIRL: I don't think
Fonzie likes surprises.
(girl laughs)
Hey, you look, Ralph.
Hey, you see him?
He's in the parking lot!
Everybody, get in your places!
Turn out the lights!
Hurry up! Get ready!
Hey, Arnold!
Where is that man?
What happened?
(chuckling): You forgot
to pay your electricity bill?
ALL: Surprise!
Come on, sit down
right here, Fonz.
Right at the head of the table.
Right in the seat of honor.
Happy birthday, Fonz.
Yeah, happy birthday,
Fonz. Happy birthday, Fonz.
Cunningham, you know, I
didn't give you my okay for this.
Well, if I had told you, it
wouldn't have been a surprise,
and you know how
you love surprises, Fonz.
Yeah, but I like to be the
surpriser, not the surprisee.
I thought I brought
you up better than that.
That's funny.
I thought I brought him up.
I thought we brought him up.
The way he's turned out,
I wouldn't brag about it.
FONZIE: Hey!
Hey, let me tell you something.
That's why it is, uh, really
lovely to live at their house.
They're a lot of fun, you know?
Oh, it's been fun
having you, too, Fonzie.
Yeah, fun.
You've been fun from
the day you moved in.
I remember we were
showing the apartment
to your grandmother, remember?
And this is such
a nice place, too.
Do you like it, Fonz?
I just said I did, didn't I?
Listen, why don't you take it?
Yeah, and what am I gonna do
with my grandmother,
put her in storage?
No, no, she stays at your
place, and you move in here.
Cunningham, I knew I wasn't
wastin' my time with you, huh?
Give me that paper.
All right, you got a deal!
This is Fonzie's new place.
You're not gonna regret it.
No, I'm not.
I'm gonna go home
and pack right now.
Oh, Mrs. Cunningham,
this is a great touch.
Very nice.
Could use a few more
mirrors, but very nice.
Aaayyh!
Yeah! I-I did it!
Dad is gonna be so happy.
You know, I rented the
place, and I got his price for it.
Well, maybe we should
have waited till he was here.
Sometimes I just have the
feeling he doesn't like Fonzie.
Oh, sure he does.
That's all just an act.
Now, listen, Mom.
I want you to let me be
the one to tell Dad, okay?
Boy, oh, boy, she really
didn't want this apartment.
She threatened to do
a wheelie over my foot.
Dad, I've got some
great news for you.
What's that?
I rented the apartment.
To who?
Fonzie.
(yelling)
He's our son!
He's your son, Marion!
My pills! Where are my pills!
I'll tell you something,
Mr. Cunningham,
I am really touched.
I mean, you choked your
son just 'cause I was moving in.
Yeah, well, I guess
I was just overcome with joy.
But you are the
perfect tenant, Fonzie.
With you around, I can
always look forward to
my quiet evenings, huh?
(laughter)
WOMAN (outside): Hey,
Fonzie! It's me, Vivian!
What was that?
Well, that's, uh, Vivian, dear.
Well, I heard that.
Do you have a
date tonight, Fonz?
A "maybe" date.
VIVIAN: Fonzie,
are you coming out?
This is really
embarrassing, huh?
Some people got no class.
They just interrupt
a great meal.
Don't you ever
do that, shortcake.
Fonzie, are you in there?
Hey, will you shut
up?! We're eating!
There's smoke coming
out of Fonzie's apartment
and I think he's there!
A fire! Because I saw his bike!
What do we do? Wait a
minute. Now, don't panic.
Remember what
your father taught us.
Cool heads. Right.
Each one of us has a job to do.
I get the extinguisher.
I-I get the ladder.
I get the axe.
Your father calls the
fire department. Right.
Remember, cool heads.
Cool. Fire!
We've got fire!
Listen, listen. I can dig it.
I bring a lot of excitement
into your lives, right?
Sometimes more
than we need. Aaayyh.
Howard, it's his birthday.
Yeah, right, Fonz.
You, you have brought
us an awful lot of memories.
Yes, things we
will never forget.
You taught Richie
how to be tough.
Oh, right, let me
tell you something.
That is not an easy task
for one human being.
Let's face it, you're
a good fighter.
Hey, I'm the best.
But in the entire time
you've known me,
have you ever
seen me in a fight?
Well, no, but that's
always because
the other guy backs down first.
I rest my case.
Do you think that
could work for me?
Cunningham, with
that Howdy Doody face,
you can only be so tough.
But I'll tell you something.
I'll tell you something.
With a little practice,
there is always hope.
Don't ever grab me again!
What?
Just practicing.
Yeah, you see?
See, that wasn't bad.
It's not good, either,
but it wasn't bad, though.
Now, listen, what you got to do
is you got to don't yell,
you gotta keep it low, see?
That'll make it
more threatening.
Hi, Rich.
MARION: Good morning, Richard.
Would you like cornflakes
for breakfast, dear?
I never want cornflakes again.
Oatmeal! Oh!
Well, I, I thought
you liked cornflakes.
Oatmeal! I'll make oatmeal.
What kind of a way is
that to talk to your mother?
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom;
cornflakes are okay.
See, I was just
trying out some advice
that Fonzie gave me.
He said if you sound
tough, people listen.
And it works.
Boy, I tell you, this
one with her high shoe
and this one yelling
like King Kong!
Who can eat
breakfast around here?
I'm going down to the store.
You're not going
anywhere! Sit down!
Start eating, Howie.
All of you, eat!
Well, chalk one up for the Fonz.
The name is Richie.
Don't ever call
me anything else.
When I turn back around,
you guys better be gone.
What happened?
Well, you just scared
Potsie and Ralph to death.
Did Frankie back down?
Oh, no, he's going like this.
That's not backing
down; that's beating up.
Let's go, bing-bong!
I'm ready!
Wait just a second!
Why isn't this working?
I mean, I've got the
tough voice going on.
I got to tell you
something, Cunningham.
I left out one
very small detail.
Tell me quick.
You got no reputation
for toughness.
Once in your life, you
had to have hit somebody.
That's not a good
detail to leave out, Fonz.
Have you got any advice at all?
Yeah. When he's
taking off his jacket,
hit him before
his arms are free.
You mean if I trick
him, I can beat him?
Oh, no. He's gonna kill you,
but you get one good shot in.
Hey, what's going on?
Trying to get Fonzie to
fight your battles for you?
Hey, Frankie,
you just make
sure it's a fair fight.
Sure, Fonzie.
(chuckles)
Okay.
Now I'm ready.
Hi-ya-ha-ha!
What are you doing to my coat?
This time it was your coat.
Next time it's
gonna be you, Jack!
This guy is crazy!
(yelling gibberish)
Come on, I'll take you all on!
Come on!
I guess I was pretty
tough that day.
POTSIE: Not bad.
Anybody want to hear a story
about Fonzie's most unusual
girlfriend at the sock hop?
Again, Ralph?
Anybody want to hear
the most unusual story
about the late Ralph Malph?
(crowd exclaims)
Hey, Fonz, how come
you always help Rich out,
but you never help us out?
Hey, I always help you guys out.
Don't I, huh?
Yeah, well, you
never fixed us up
with one of your
girls like you did Rich.
The man was in a slump.
You know that he even blew it
in Milwaukee's best
pick-up place, huh?
I've had it, Fonz.
I'm gonna become a monk.
Hey, don't become a monk.
You're gonna hate the hairstyle.
I'm going home.
I'm just going home.
All right, all right,
so you're in worse
shape than I thought.
So this calls for drastic
measures, all right?
This Saturday, I'm gonna
call two of my chicks,
and you are gonna
double-date with the Fonz.
Oh, that's really
nice of you, Fonz.
I know.
Hey, Fonzie!
Hey, DeFazio! They're here!
All right!
Laverne.
This is Laverne
DeFazio. She's mine.
And this is Shirley Feeney.
She's yours as you can see.
Mm... Nice to meet you, Richie.
My pleasure.
Hey, they're getting
along pretty well.
All right, plant it here,
girls, plant it here.
Would you like to sit down?
Staring?
How'd you like your
eyes closed for good, huh?
You're too much, Laverne.
So, Shirl, what do
you think of this kid?
You've been with worse.
Oh, he's nice. And a tie, too.
And a hanky.
Is that for showing
or for blowing?
(laughter)
Well, it's been
quite an evening.
What do you say we go
to Richie's house, huh?
Are you nervous?
Me? No. Nervous? No.
Uh, Miss Feeney,
are you thirsty?
Would you like
anything to drink?
I could sure go for a beer.
How about you?
Oh, yeah, beer, right.
Okay, coming right up.
Oh, say, would you...?
Uh, would you like some
pretzels or anything?
Okay. All right.
Uh, listen, why don't
you just stay here,
and I'll get it, all right?
All right. Okay.
Hey, about some chips?
Would you like some chips?
Sure. Whatever.
Okay, I think we got those.
Hey, listen, tell me the truth.
Why did you and Laverne
get into that fight anyway?
Oh, that.
Oh, when Laverne and I
went into the ladies' room,
I walked up to her and I
said, sweet as you please,
"Laverne, you have
a mouth like a sewer,"
which she does.
And she said, "A sewer"?
And I said, "Yeah, a sewer."
So she curled up her
chubby little hand and ba...!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh, Richie, I'm so sorry!
Oh, oh, Richie,
oh, are you all right?
Are you all right?
Oh, Richie, I'm so sorry.
Oh, dear. Oh, here,
let me kiss the boo-boo.
Richie, we're home!
(Joanie screams)
What's going on?
Oh, no-nothing,
there's nothing going on.
Oh, foo! Oh, I missed it!
(over jukebox): ♪ You ain't
nothing but a hound dog ♪
♪ Crying all the time ♪
♪ You ain't nothing
but a hound dog ♪
♪ Crying all the time ♪
♪ Well, you ain't... ♪
Look at Joanie.
You know, our little
baby is growing up.
She sure has changed
in the last couple of years.
♪ Well, they said you was... ♪
I want to get to
school early, too.
Jeanie Scarsdale is going to
tell us where babies come from.
She's got a book with
pictures and everything.
You sit right down.
I will drive you to school.
We'll have a little
talk on the way.
Okay, but it won't be
the same without pictures.
Can we have another
talk about boys?
I think you should get a
man's point of view this time.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
I'll talk to Fonzie tomorrow.
I think I can do
that trick, Fonz.
Oh, give this man room.
All right, guys, watch this.
I got it. I got it. Ready?
Try it again.
Ow!
Come on, Fonz. It's a trick.
Tell us how you do it.
Hey, the one thing you
guys got to understand
is that the Fonz got power
that goes beyond
explanation. Dig?
I think maybe I'll
just sack out here,
snuggle up with the fire.
Play cowboy for a while.
(various animals calling)
(hooting)
(chattering)
(croaking)
(bird twittering)
(chattering, hooting,
ribbeting, twittering)
Cool it!
(animal calls die out abruptly)
Let's see Tarzan do that.
Come on, Fonz. It's a trick.
You can at least show
us how to start the jukebox.
Look, forget about the machines.
Fonz, just once,
tell us your secret
for getting those great chicks.
I remember one time
when the Fonz wasn't
with such a great chick.
(laughter)
I keep warning you, Malph.
You can't hit me, Fonz.
You're a member of the
auxiliary police. Remember?
Yeah. That would be
auxiliary police brutality.
Now, listen, Malph,
I wouldn't count on it.
Huh? Ooh! You wouldn't.
Hey, look at the Fonz.
He looks like he joined
the Air Force or something.
Hey, Fonz, you look like
you joined the Air
Force or something.
Yeah? You want a
B-52 up your nose?
Some guys are good lovers,
and some guys are good fighters.
I happen to be both.
All right, now listen up!
Girls, one time! One time only!
Line right up here.
Kiss the Fonz for a buck.
Now, that's a
bargain at any price.
(girls screaming)
You give girls engagement rings?
Hey, don't be silly.
They give them to me.
Fonzie, it's just a motorcycle.
Just a motorcycle, Mr. C?
And I suppose your
mother was just a mother.
"Fonzie, shut up?
Fonzie, shut up?"
Look, why don't you just say,
"Fonzie, would you
remove all my teeth?"
It's the same result.
Hey, let me tell you something.
Everybody gets scared.
If you're going to
survive in this world,
you just can't show it
all the time, that's all.
Yeah, but you never get scared.
I know. That's why I'm the Fonz.
Hey, listen, I'm going in my
office now to check my hair.
Okay, Fonz. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday, Fonz!
There's more so hurry back.
Okay, everybody, ready to hear
about Fonzie's
weirdest girlfriend?
What took you so long?
Do you know how long it
takes to put on mascara?
This is really embarrassing.
What could be worth
all this, you know?
I'm embarrassed, too.
How do you think I felt asking
my sister to borrow mascara?
At least it'll all be over soon.
I hope so.
This is really dumb. Yeah.
(slow music playing)
Oh, brother!
Wallflower, let's dance.
(blowing air)
Fonzie.
Fonzie?
It's me. Richie.
See, this is all a part
of the Demon's initiation.
I knew that.
I knew that all the time.
You did?
Yeah. I was just
trying to help you out.
You know what I mean?
Oh, hey, thanks.
Yeah, well, don't
bother thanking me.
I mean, just beat it
so that no one sees me
standing here talking to you.
You know what I mean?
Hey! Dance.
Don't ask.
Oh, you told them, huh?
(nervous chuckle)
Oh! Now, listen. Now, come on.
It's a birthday party, right?
I mean, I never
had a birthday party
thrown for me by, uh... guys.
You know, I had
a couple by girls,
but that's not for publication.
Anyway, listen.
For all you people
to go through all this,
you know, that's nice,
'cause you only throw a party
for people you like, right?
Right! All right.
And I want to say that
the Fonz is touched.
Now, I don't want
to get all misty here,
so I will just say thank you.
(cheering)
Happy birthday, Fonz.
Thank you.
And now I'm going
to kill this man.
♪ Which nobody can deny. ♪
(cheering)
Listen, now, I just want to
say thank you very much.
This is a really nice party.
Make a wish, and
blow out the candles.
Whoa!
(cheering)
Boy, Ralph, that
is really funny!
Fonzie blew in Richie's ear.
(cackling)
Hey, Arnie, sit on it.
(cackling)
Confucius say...
(speaking Chinese)
What does that mean?
Sit on it, Kirk.
Sit on it, Richie.
Sit on it, Potsie.
Very funny.
Sit on it, Malph.
Sit on it, Howard.
Sit on it, Fonzie. Aaayyh!
Fonzie... sit on it.
JOANIE: Everybody duck!
What did I just hear?
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ Happy Days. ♪
(music playing,
indistinct talking)
(Happy Days theme playing)
♪ Good-bye gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪