Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 3, Episode 12 - Fonzie's New Friend - full transcript

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪



♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a live audience.

♪ Ooh, wah-ooh,
wah-wah-wah-wah-ah. ♪

Hi, Lois.

Uh, listen, uh, I'm
having this party

over at my place,
uh, Saturday night,

and I was wondering
if... Hey, Cunningham.

I got a problem, huh?

Don't dally, and let's
make it on the double.

Right. All right, listen,

I'll be back in a
second, okay? Hey!

Fonz, I was just getting
ready to ask her for a date.

Cunningham, in this
life, there are sometimes

more important
things than chicks.

Now, I got to pick up a
rebuilt crankshaft, huh?

Place close...

the place closes in
ten minutes, right?

A crankshaft is more
important than chicks?

Hey, you want to listen to me?

I picked up a drummer. Huh?

I found a drummer
for your party.

How did you do that, Fonz?
Great! No kidding, Fonz? Great!

He'll play in our band?
Well, I lied to him.

I said you guys were good.

Where is he?

All right, now he's new in town.

I met him at the garage. Yeah.

All right, he's going
to meet me here.

He came in with a,
uh, ruptured fuel line.

Yeah. What's his name?

Sticks Downey. Uh-huh.

Now, if he comes
and I'm not back,

you treat him right.

Well, how will we know him,
Fonz? Yeah, what's he like?

Well, he's about your
age, only he's cool.

All right, now
listen, if I'm not back,

you're going to take
good care of him, right?

RICHIE: Oh, yeah.
Oh, sure, Fonz.

Any friend of yours
is a friend of ours.

Yeah, I know that.

Now listen.

You get back to your
date, and be confident.

Yeah, right, Fonz.
Okay. All right, hey.

Hold it, doll face.

How'd you like to
do yourself a favor

and come to a swinging
bash over at my place?

We're staging this real cool

"Welcome Hawaii
to the Union Luau."

Ooh, a luau? Yeah.

Oh, I'd like to!

You would? Uh, yeah, great.

I hate luaus.

Who asked you?

But only if you can
get a date for Meralee.

We were going to the
movies together, you know,

and I can't leave
her flat. Yeah.

Are you talking
about a blind date?

Yeah, but no funny stuff.

None of those joke dates.

Joke dates? You know.

You guys are always
pulling that stuff on me.

Setting me up with
four-year-old kids,

old men... poodles.

All right, all right, all right,
calm down, calm down.

Yeah, okay, all right,
I'll get you a date.

Uh... (sighs): Well?

Well, you see,
it's kind of hard...

Hey, wait a minute, wait a
minute, there's a new guy

coming in here
in a minute. Yeah?

How new?

No, don't worry.

This guy is a
friend of Fonzie's.

What's his name? Sticks Downey.

He's going to play the
drums for us at the party.

Doesn't sound like a joke.

No, no, he's cool.

He's going to just sit in with,
uh, Ralph, Potsie and me.

Excuse me, are you
Richie Cunningham? Yeah.

Hi, I'm Fonzie's
friend, Sticks Downey.

Ah...

Thanks a lot, Richie.
I'm really sorry.

No, I didn't know
about this, really.

Just forget it. No.

You are not very nice.
See, I had no idea.

Not nice at all.
Meralee, I'm really...

Just forget the
whole thing. I didn't...

See if I care. Forget it.

Why do I get the feeling
I was just humiliated?

POTSIE: Hey, Rich,
what happened?

Nothing, nothing. Nothing.

Well, you see what happened,

Meralee needed a
date, a blind date,

and since Fonzie's
friend was coming...

Look out, babe, you
got the wrong man.

Yeah. Well, wait a
minute, wait a second.

Richie didn't mean
anything by it.

He's just socially clumsy.

Thanks, Ralph. Sure.

Listen, it's really nice to
meet you. Ralph Malph.

Hey. Hey, Potsie
Weber here, Sticks.

How are you doing?
How are you doing?

Listen Sticks, we've got to get

together sometime,
play some basketball.

Basketball?

Yeah, well, you guys are
supposed to be really...

Ralph, wait a minute...

No man, I don't play basketball.

My hands get too
slick from eating

all that fried chicken.

I've heard that.

You heard that?!

It must be all over town.

Hey, how's it going, Sticks?

STICKS: I just got
stood up by a blonde

that I didn't even
know I had a date with.

We've been talking about
basketball and fried chicken.

Look out for a discussion

of the joys of
eating watermelon.

Yeah, yeah, sure, well,
now you wait for me.

Cunningham! Hey!

I like watermelon.

I'm sorry.

I tell you, I feel worse
about this than you do.

Not only did I
embarrass the guy,

but I probably lost my drummer.

I mean, he'll never
play for our group now.

I wouldn't.

Now I've got a band,
and no drummer.

Every time I plan a party,

it turns out to be a disaster.

Hold it, Fonzie, don't kill him.

It's cool, man.

Now what's cool?

Uh, your friends
explained what happened.

I guess it was just an accident.

Oh, yeah, yeah, could've
happened to anybody.

Now wait a minute.

It couldn't have happened to me.

So, will you come to my party?

To play drums with
you guys? Yeah, yeah.

You never even heard me play.

Yeah, but I figured you've
got to be a good drummer

because, you know...
Look out, here we go again.

No, no. I mean, you've got to be

a good drummer because
they call you Sticks, right?

No, man, they call me
Sticks because I'm skinny.

Well, then, uh,
how about my party?

Well, I'd like to come
to your party, Mm-hmm.

And I love to play the
drums, but, um... Yeah?

Sticks don't go to a
party without a date.

Well, then why
don't you get a date?

With who?

I just moved to town.

You know how tough
it is for us skinny guys

when we move to a
new neighborhood.

Yeah, I get your drift.

RICHIE: All right.

Okay, I'll get you a
date. How about that?

Uh, no, thanks, man, I've
seen what you fixed me up...

No, no, not like that, no.

I'll get you somebody
who's right for you.

Okay, I'm sold.

But not literally.
(chuckles): All right.

Okay, I'm going to take off.

I got to get home and
put on some weight.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

See you later,
Fonz. Thanks a lot.

Oh, man, this is good,
this is really good.

Yeah, I'll tell you,
this is really good.

You're going to get
him a date. Right.

Who do you know that's Negro?

Well, Frederick, the
cook here at Arnold's.

No, no, no, he's too
old and the wrong sex.

Yeah, but I figure he's
got to have friends, right?

Not the way he cooks.

Friends? What are
you talking about?

Hey, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where are you going? Home.

Will you come back here.
What about Frederick?

Well, I'll talk to him later.

I mean, I really don't
want to go in the kitchen

and bother him while
he's working, you know.

Call him now.

Fonz, this man
is six foot, five,

and I don't want to
get him mad at me.

Call him now. Yeah.

(quietly): Frederick?

Probably his day off.

(shouts): Frederick,
get out here.

Who's got the big mouth?

Just wait a minute.

Mr. Cunningham here
wants to talk to Frederick.

Oh, Frederick got
a better job, Richie.

He's working in a delicatessen.

Aw, great, what am
I going to do now?

What can Frederick
do I can't do?

I need a girl.

Oh, no, I don't do
that kind of stuff.

You get a cabbie
or a bell captain.

No, no, I don't think
you understand.

You see, I've got a friend,
and I can't get him a date.

Uh-huh. Because he's colored.

What color?

No, no, no, you
don't understand.

See, Richie's got to
fix up this Negro guy.

Now do you know anybody?

Oh, not me, you
got the wrong color.

You should ask Sammy Davis, Jr.

(cackling)

I tell you what, I'll
phone Frederick.

See, he's got a girlfriend
who have a niece.

Maybe he can arrange a date.

Oh, yeah, that's great.
Where's the party?

Well, it's at my place,
this Saturday night.

Okay. Thanks, Arnold.

Oh, now, wait a
minute, wait a minute.

If this happens, Sticks
gets to check her out.

You know, you
can't be too careful.

FONZIE: Uh-oh.

Which one of you is Sticks?

I'm, uh, Bill Downey, Jr, ma'am.

They call me Sticks.

I'm Kathleen's aunt.

Look out.

Who do you think you are

checking out my niece, Kathleen?

Oh, well, no offense, nice lady,

but when you buy a car,
you check under the hood first.

Listen, ducktail. Ducktail?

Oh, no, take it easy, Fonz.

She's a woman.

She's a woman, Fonz. Okay?

If anybody tries to check
under Kathleen's hood,

they're going to get a
dipstick up their nose.

Now, I want to get
something straight.

I'm here to check
you out. Yes, ma'am.

What's a good
looking item like you

need to be fixed up for?

You got something
wrong with you?

No, ma'am, I just, uh,
moved to Milwaukee,

and I don't know too
many of our people.

He's a real nice guy.

He'll be going to
our high school.

Well, I guess you're okay.

Why don't you go down to the car

and say hello to Kathleen?

Thank you, ma'am.

Just say hello.

I hear you.

Sticks is okay.
I like him. Yeah.

Mind if I sit down?

A little.

Now, who's having
this luau thing?

I am.

And who are the chaperones?

My parents.

Get them up here. I
want to meet them.

Oh, yeah, right.

Just hang on for one
second, I'll get them.

Mom, Dad, would you

come up here for
a second, please?

Are these all your chicks?

Well, yeah, there's
a cross section.

What's going on? Well, uh...

Are you his father?

Yes. And this is his mother?

Yes. Who is this?

Dad, please, it's
very important.

I'm Rosemary Stevens.

My niece might come
to your son's party.

Oh, well, it will be
so nice to have her.

Thank you.

I didn't come here
to make trouble.

But what are your
qualifications as chaperones?

Qualifications? Yes.

Well, uh, mother here used to be

the bouncer at
Eddie's Bar and Grill.

Howard!

Why don't we just tell her
what she wants to know.

I was... I was the
president of the PTA,

and Howard is a veteran.

We like bowling, and,
uh, we give to the NAACP.

And we've seen The
Jolson Story twice.

Marion!

Uh, ma'am, so do
you think it'd be all right

if Kathleen came to the party?

Are you going to be chaperones?

Oh, we'll be
here, we'll be here.

Well, then, I guess
it will be all right.

Oh, good, I want to assure you

that your niece will have a
very nice time, Oh, thank you.

And there will be no liquor served
at the party. It was nice meeting you.

Right, and I don't
want to catch you

spiking the punch... Who's that?

Oh, Howard, don't be nosey.

What do you mean "nosey"?
It's my house, Marion.

Look out, that Kathleen
is something else!

Well, I guess he likes
what he saw. Yeah?

Ooh, we're going to have
some party, Cunningham.

I'm going to play
those drums (tapping)

till Indians show up. All right.

Fonz?

Oh, hey, Fonz, what's shaking?

Oh, Richie's not here, is he?

Uh, no, he's not here.

Now listen, you're
just in time for lunch.

You got a can opener?

This is only good for beer.

No, Fonz. Do you
know where he went?

Yeah, he ran out of
here, crazy about his party.

Something like that. Oh, no.

Oh, no, not the party, Ralph.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

The guy runs out of
here bubbling with glee

for the first time since he
tried to grow a moustache

and you guys are both depressed.

Well, it's nothing, Fonz.

We'll see you later.
Yeah, see you, Fonz.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
get back in here.

No, really, Fonz, we really
got to go. Gotta run, Fonz.

FONZIE: Do my ears deceive me

or did the Fonz say,
"Get back in here"?

Clear as a bell, Fonz.

All right, now won't
you be seated?

Lunch is served.

I just ate. You'll eat again.

Oh.

All right, now, what
is going on here, huh?

You like beans? No.

I like beans. You would.

All right, now, you
want to stop hesitating

and tell the Fonz why you
want to talk to Cunningham?

Well, we might as well tell you.

It's the party. RALPH:
Nobody's coming.

What do you mean
nobody's coming?

I just got you a drummer.

Now what's the problem?

Well, what it is, Fonz,
is the situation here

is that Sticks is,
um... he's colored.

I know that.

Fonz, we like Sticks
a lot, you know that.

It's the kids down at Arnold's,

they don't understand.

They think there's only
two different kinds of people,

white and colored.

There are two kinds of
people... Cool and nerds.

And the people down
at Arnold's are nerds!

Meanwhile, we've
got to find Richie

and tell him about
the party. Excuse me.

But you're not going
to tell him a thing.

But he's going to wonder if
no one shows up at the luau.

I will take care
of that right now.

Don't worry about it,
everybody will be there.

The beans are cancelled.

Where are you going, Fonz?

I'm going down to Arnold's
to have some nerds for lunch.

I was looking
forward to the beans.

(music playing on jukebox)

(music stops)

Excuse me.

He'll call you right back.

(pinball machine rattles)

(rattling stops)

All right.

Now I want your attention,

your complete and
undivided attention.

That's better.

Now, do you know
that a false rumor

has reached the Fonz's ear?

One which I'm sure
that all of you people

will immediately prove false.

Now, you know
Richie Cunningham...

Who is a very personal
and good friend of the Fonz...

He's having a
party Saturday night.

And I have been told,

by some very unreliable sources,

that some of you
people intend not coming.

I am sure that none of
you will miss this gala event.

For example,

Bag, you're going to
be there, aren't you?

Oh, of course, Fonzie, I
wouldn't miss it for the world.

Hey, I thought so.

Now, everybody who
is coming to this party,

please, raise your
hands, don't be afraid,

just raise your hands.

Splendid, very splendid.

Hands down.

Now let this be a lesson.

The Fonz knows how to win
friends and influence people.

Yeah, just like Dale
Carnegie, huh, Fonz?

Well, yeah, she was very
friendly with Roy Rogers.

That was a joke.

I just made a joke.

Oh, funny, Fonz. Good one, Fonz.

Hey, gang,

how many of you were
told by your parents

you better not go to that party?

Mine also.

So, how many of
you are not going?

MARION: Come on, it's 8:00

and the people
will be arriving soon.

I need some help.

Anything I can do, Mom?

Yes, dear, put those
two on the coffee table.

(doorbell rings) Oh, Richard,
will you answer the door?

Your father is busy
helping me. Right.

Aloha! Hey, Rich.

I thought you were
bringing the girls.

Ralph's getting them. Oh, okay.

(shouting): Hey, Pots,
you want to limbo?

Oh, Joanie dear, now
we're letting you stay up

for the party, but there's
something you have to learn.

Ladies do not scream things

across the room
at adult gatherings.

Well, what if I want to
get someone's attention?

Well, a lady could
just clear her throat.

(clears throat)

That's right, Marion.

Hey, hi, everybody.

All right, where's my date?

Uh, she didn't show up yet.

She missed my
entrance... her loss.

Fonzie, this is supposed
to be a Hawaiian luau.

Everybody's supposed
to be dressed. Aaayyh!

Hey... Aay-aay!

(doorbell ringing)

I'll get it.

(all greeting)

Sticks, come on in.

You must be Kathleen, huh?

Yeah. All right,
well, let's see.

I'm Richie Cunningham.
Nice meeting you.

This is, uh, my
sister, Joanie. Hi.

Hi. These are my parents.

How do you do?
So nice to meet you.

Hi, I'm Potsie, and this
is my good buddy, Fonz.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Would you like to see
the rest of the house?

Joanie, why don't you
show them around?

Okay. Here, I'll
show you upstairs.

It's a pretty nice place.

Except for my room,
where they usually

hide me from
company. (doorbell rings)

Aloha!

Aloha.

Where's the girls?

I'm afraid I've got bad news.

I knew I should've
picked them up.

What bad news?

Nobody's coming. Why?

Because of Sticks and Kathleen.

Wait a minute, you mean
they're not coming because...

Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

That was yesterday. Now
I went down to Arnold's.

I gave them my
personal invitation.

Everybody is coming.

Ralph just said that his
date's not showing up,

my date's not showing
up and neither is Potsie's.

And you guys think that's
because of Sticks and Kathleen?

(chuckles): Yeah, right.

Your date's not
coming either, Fonz.

Now hold it!
Something's wrong here!

I'm going to go
down to Arnold's,

and I'm going to fill up
this room in five minutes.

HOWARD: Wait a minute, Fonzie.

Don't go down to Arnold's.

You can't fight
prejudice that way.

I can't?

All I've got to do is go down
there and snap my fingers.

No, Fonz.

"No, Fonz"?

Look, you're the coolest.

I mean, there's absolutely
no question about it,

you are the coolest.

Yeah, I know that.
Get to the point.

Well, the point is that
prejudice is stronger than cool.

Stronger than cool?

Yeah, but don't get upset.

You see, prejudice
had a big head start.

It started with the cavemen.

Cool's only been around
since Benny Goodman.

Stronger than cool?

I've had bad parties before,

but I can't believe that
nobody is showing up

because of Sticks and Kathleen.

(clears throat)

RICHIE: Sticks!

Listen, I didn't
know that you were...

Hey, look, don't worry about it.

It happens all the time.

Folks don't like to
go to parties with, uh,

us skinny people.

Come on, they didn't show
up because you're colored.

(gasps)

I am?

I am!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Quit clowning around!

Quit joking!

Man, you're staying right here!

Those people at Arnold's
can just sit on it, man.

They're just a bunch of nerds.

If I want to have a
colored guy at my party,

I'm going to have a
colored guy at my party.

If I want to have
ten colored people,

that's what I'm going to have!

Now let's play
music and have fun.

(Richie mutters)

Come on.

Now wait a minute.

Wait one minute and hold it!

Everybody is going crazy here.

The people at Arnold's

don't want to come to this
party 'cause he's colored.

You want to keep him here at
this party 'cause he is colored.

Now you don't ask him to stay

to prove something, huh?

And if you don't like
him, you ask him to leave.

And if you don't like his
drumming you break his sticks.

But would you
please cut out that,

"I can have a colored guy
at my party if I want to" jazz.

Now do you want him to
stay here, or you do not?

Well, of course I
want him to stay here.

I mean... All right.

I just said it wrong 'cause
I was steamed, that's all.

Look, you ate so much food,
the least you can do is play.

Hey, I didn't eat anything yet.

So you'll eat a lot later.

Right! Come on, let's play.

(talking at once)

Hello, everybody.

ALL: Arnold!

I'm crashing the party,

so I bring you a pineapple.

Oh. Come in. I'm
so glad you came.

Boy, I sure love a party.

I not like those kids
down at Arnold's.

You know, afraid to come out.

Hey, Arnie. Huh?

You're all right.

Sure, what do I care
what my parents think?

They still in Miami Beach.

(cackling)

One, two, three, four.

♪ Honeycomb, honeycomb ♪

♪ Well, it's a darn good
life, and it's kinda funny ♪

♪ How the bee was made
and the bee made honey ♪

♪ And the honeybee
looking for a home ♪

♪ Made a honeycomb ♪

♪ Well, they combed the
world and they gathered ♪

♪ All the honeycomb
in one sweet ball ♪

♪ And the honeycomb
from a million trips ♪

♪ Made my baby's lips ♪

♪ Well, honeycomb,
won't you be my baby ♪

♪ Well, honeycomb, be my own ♪

♪ Got a hanka hair
and a piece of bone ♪

♪ Made a walking,
talking honeycomb ♪

♪ Well, honeycomb,
won't you be my baby ♪

♪ Honeycomb, be my own ♪

♪ It's a darn good life when you
have a wife like honeycomb. ♪

(rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪