Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 3, Episode 10 - A Date with Fonzie - full transcript

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪



♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a live audience.

POTSIE: ♪ You shake my
nerves and you rattle my brain ♪

♪ Too much love
drives a man insane ♪

♪ You broke my
will, but what a thrill ♪

♪ Now, goodness
gracious, ♪ Na, na ♪

Great balls of fire ♪
♪ Na, na, na, na ♪

♪ I laughed at love ♪

♪ 'Cause I thought
it was funny ♪

♪ But you came along
and moved me, honey ♪

♪ I changed my mind ♪

♪ This love is fine, now ♪

♪ Goodness, gracious,
great balls of fire... ♪

(piano playing)

Woo!

♪ Kiss me, baby ♪

♪ Whooo... feels good ♪

♪ Hold me, baby... woo ♪

♪ I want to love you
like a lover should ♪

♪ You're fine... so kind ♪

♪ I'm gonna tell the world
that you're mine, mine, mine ♪

♪ I chew my nails and
twiddle my thumbs ♪

♪ I'm real nervous,
but it sure is fun ♪

♪ Oh, baby, you
drive me crazy now ♪

♪ Goodness gracious,
great balls of fire! ♪

(cheering and applause)

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, all right,

for our next number we'd like...

What do you mean
our next number?

We're taking a break. What for?

To score with those
girls, that's what for.

I don't think I'm ready yet.

Who cares if you're not ready?

They're ready.

One of them just
kissed my piano.

Hey, Mr. Conductor,
if you please.

All right, Fonz. We're
we're sorry, Fonz.

You see, you see, we
were just discussing girls.

Hey, that's a good subject.

All right, take ten.

Thanks, Fonz.

Hey, uh, Ramona...

I mailed you a valentine.

Why don't you go
home and wait for it?

Hey, Fonz, those girls

have been looking
at us all night,

and Richie here is afraid

to go up and talk
to them. Yeah, Fonz.

I don't know
what's with this guy.

He's been acting
strange for days.

Look, I just feel we
have a responsibility

to the kids here
to keep playing.

Why? They're not paying us.

Do we play for money or for fun?

For girls. We play for girls.

Now, wait a minute,
the nerds are right.

Why don't you boys
take your best shot.

I'll talk to the kid here.

All right!

We're coming over, girls.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What approach should we use?

They look bright.

Use the subtle approach. Gotcha.

Hey, girls...

Hi, wanna neck
in the parking lot?

That worked?

Hey, Cunningham,

there's one more, go get her.

Aw, no, Fonz, I
don't want to ask her.

Hey, go on over
there and get her. No,

I'll tell you what will happen.

I'll go up there, and I'll say,

"Do you wanna have a soda"

and she'll say "no",
and then I'll say,

"well, maybe a drive..."

and she'll say she's
already got a car,

and I, I just don't wanna.

Hey, will you try?

Okay.

Hey!

You don't wanna go
out with me, do you?

See, I told you

she didn't wanna
go out with me, Fonz.

Cunningham... my office.

All right, Cunningham,
tell your father.

I'm moving out and
getting my new place.

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about?

After your performance in there,

it's gonna be all over town!

"Fonz Lives Over Nerd's Garage!"

Oh, come on, Fonz,
you don't have to move.

I'm just in a slump, that's all.

You see, I broke up with
Sharon Meyers last month.

So?

So I went with her
for four months,

and I got out of the swing

of asking girls out
for dates. I don't know,

I just lost my
confidence or something.

No confidence with chicks?

I heard of that.

I'm telling you, it's the
worst dry spell of my life.

Even my parents noticed.

You know what they did
last Saturday night? No.

They stayed home and
played Monopoly with me.

You're driving me to tears here.

Look at this... no one
ever cleans my office.

I'll tell you, Cunningham,

the Fonz is gonna help you out.

Really? How?

No, no, no, this chick

don't date off the wall anymore.

I got it.

Tomorrow I'm gonna take you

to the best make out
place in Milwaukee.

And I tell you, it's
loaded with chicks.

Not high school chicks. Yeah?

Young... old... married, huh?

Single!

A regular smorgasbord.

Where is this place?

The supermarket.

♪ Bop, bop, bop, bop ♪

♪ Doo wah. ♪

All right, now listen.

There is no need
to be embarrassed.

Hey, will you check
out that talent?

Just check out that talent.

Yeah, but they're just
here to shop, Fonz.

Hey, so are you.

You start conversations
about the merchandise.

I'm not that curious
about the merchandise.

Get curious, huh?

I mean, what I mean to say is,

there are a lot of things here

to start conversations about.

If you act confused
they gush forth,

they are dying to help you out.

You're not gonna watch
me, are you, Fonz?

No, I got my own shopping to do.

You really shop?

No.

Little elves bring all
that food to my door.

Of course I shop!

Now listen, I'm going to
the frozen foods section

to warm up some hands.

You're not ready
for that yet, huh?

Confidence.

Right, Fonz. All right.

(clears throat)

(laughing)

Oh, boy, am I confused.

Uh, excuse me... Yes?

Have you ever used this?

No.

No?

Oh, well, I have.

It's very, very good.

Good.

Good.

Come on, stupid.

You got to be
clever... be clever.

Um... Excuse me again.

I'm in a hurry.

They're waiting for
me back at the yacht.

Do you know where the caviar is?

What kind?

Uh... instant!

Ask someone else.

Right, I'll, I'll
find it myself.

Psst... sonny, over here!

You're going about it all wrong.

Excuse me?

You came in here to
pick up chicks, didn't you?

No... no.

Aw, come on, come on.

All right, I'm, I'm
here to pick up chicks.

I knew it, I can
tell, I can tell.

Well, you came to the
right place. I do great here.

Really? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. This is my first time.

I can tell.

You're the worst!

Well, what do you
think I should do?

Get out of here!

No, no, that was
just a little joke.

Oh. Try the direct approach.

Direct approach?

Yeah, you see
that cute girl there?

Yeah? You want to meet her?

Yeah.

Knock over her cart.

Knock over her cart?

She, she's got eggs in there!

Well, you just say you know...

Oh, wait a minute.

Hold on here, I...
I gotta go to work.

Oh, miss!

(crashing)

I got her!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Hi there.

Hello.

Gee, you're tall.

Thank you.

Would you stand right next to me

for a minute?

Sure.

Thank you.

It's okay.

(chuckling)

Whatcha doing?

Shoplifting.

Why am I standing here?

You're blocking the
store manager's view.

What if I decided to report you?

My brother will break your legs.

Okay... thank you.

Thanks again.

What are you doing?

I thought you
were a chick, Fonz.

Hey!

I've had it, Fonz.

I'm going to become a monk. Hey!

Don't become a monk.

You're going to
hate the hair style.

I'm going home!

I'm just going home.
All right, all right.

So you're in worse
shape than I thought.

So this calls for drastic
measures, all right?

This Saturday,

I'm going to call
two of my chicks,

and you are going to double date

with the Fonz!

Oh, that's really
nice of you, Fonz.

I know.

Cunningham, I've got
my little black books,

we're going to get you a date,

going to make your
freckles light up!

All right, that's great!

Hey, listen could we just
wait until my parents leave?

Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah.

What do you mean leave?

Where are they going?

Well, they're going to
visit my Aunt Bessie.

She had this
operation, you know,

they're going to be
gone the whole weekend.

Are you kidding?

No, it wasn't a
serious operation.

You know, she can't
eat fried foods though...

No, no, no, forget Aunt Bessie.

You mean you're gonna
be alone in this house?

Yeah, yeah, my
sister's going, too.

Alone for the whole
weekend? Sure.

Cunningham,

you're gonna do more
living this weekend

than you have for 17 years!

All right!

What's all right?

Oh, uh, well, Aunt
Bessie and her gallstones,

you know, they're,
they're all right.

Fonzie was asking about it.

Well, aren't you sweet, Arthur.

Yeah.

How come Richie
doesn't have to go?

Because he's older than you

and he can take care of himself.

Well, every time
we leave him alone,

he locks himself
out of the house.

I don't lock myself
out of the house.

JOANIE: Yes, you do.

Well, all right, dear,

here are some cookies

so you won't get
cranky on the trip.

Well, they're all crushed.

I know.

Every time I go to
the supermarket,

some old man
knocks my cart over.

If I were you,

I wouldn't go to that
market anymore.

I know, I-I hate that market.

This morning, I heard

they caught a girl shoplifting.

Really?

They're still looking
for her accomplice.

Oh.

Listen, can we
stop this chitchat

and get going, huh?

Come on, Richard, come here.

Right.

Listen, we're leaving you alone

because we've got
confidence in you.

We know you're going
to act responsibly,

just like an adult.

Well, I appreciate that, Dad.

Hey, don't worry
about it, Mr. C.,

I'll be right upstairs,

I'll make sure everything
goes real smooth.

Maybe I ought to stay at home.

No, it's all right,
Dad. Oh, come on,

Howard, you always
keep us waiting.

Good-bye, dear.

HOWARD: Good-bye,
Richard. Good-bye, Richie.

RICHIE: Have a good time!

(door shuts)

What are you doing, Fonz?

I'm looking for dates.

Hey, there they are, huh?!

LaVerne DeFazio
and Shirley Feeney!

Whoa!

Well, they, they sound... nice.

Uh, what if they say no?

They don't know the word no.

Hey, LaVerne!

The Fonz!

Hey, how's it going?

Hey listen, is, uh,
is Shirley there?

Yeah, put her on.

Hey, Shirley, I
want you to talk,

I want you to talk to a friend
of mine here. (whispering)

Hi!

That's enough.

Sounds great, huh?

Yeah.

Listen, Arnolds,
tomorrow night, 8:00.

Be there... whoa.

♪ Love me tender... ♪

All right, listen, I want
to tell you something.

We're gonna have
a great time... Yeah.

And don't worry
about a thing, all right?

Just relax. All right.

Up, up, we're using this booth.

Right, Fonz, sorry.

You lucky bum.

Yeah, Fonz, why him?

Why didn't you take
me on a double date?

I'm cute, I'm witty.

I have more freckles than him.

Malph, don't worry
about it, all right?

This is a mercy mission.

Oh, Fonz.

Now, listen, I want to tell
you about your date, okay?

Okay. Now, she's
a very cute girl,

but she's not your
usual type of girl.

RALPH & POTSIE: Mm...

All right, now,
she's a little bit older.

RALPH & POTSIE: Older...

Now, listen, the reason

I picked Shirley for you
is 'cause you're in a slump

and I wanted to pick a girl

who, uh, wouldn't
give you a hard time

if you get my drift, huh?

Yeah.

And the thing is that she is...

I don't know, how, how would
you say it... a, uh, good sport.

(Ralph and Potsie laugh)

Will you sit down?!

Thanks, Fonz. Not
here, over there.

Why do you have to act so dumb?

What do you mean me?

You're the one whose
eyes are bulging out.

Hey, Fonzie!

Hey, DeFazio!

They're here.

All right.

Laverne... This is
Laverne DeFazio.

She's mine.

And this is Shirley Feeney.

She's yours, as you can see.

Mm.

Nice to meet you, Richie.

My pleasure.

Hey, they're getting
along pretty well, all right.

Plant it here,
girls, plant it here.

Would you like to sit down?

Staring?

How'd you like your
eyes closed for good, huh?

You're too much, Laverne.

So, Shirl, what do
you think of this kid?

You've been with worse.

Oh, he's nice, and a tie, too.

And a hanky.

Is that for showing
or for blowing?

(Laverne and Fonzie laughing)

(chuckles)

Well, it's been
quite an evening.

What do you say we
go to Richie's house?

So, Fonz, uh, where
is Richie's house?

Do we need a map?

Oh, no, it's close,
you just follow me.

Well, drive slowly.

I don't got insurance.

(clearing throat): Do you
fellas mind if we girls go

to the ladies' room and
freshen up a bit first?

I'm already fresh.

Laverne.

I'll freshen, I'll
make you happy.

Take your time,
girls, take your time.

No insurance? (door slams)

Hey, listen.

I got to talk to
you, Cunningham.

You got to loosen up.

You have not said
a word all night.

Well, I haven't had a
chance to jump in yet, Fonz.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, they're a
little more boisterous

than I usually like, but
this is a treat for you.

And let me tell you,
incidentally, that tie.

That is a wonderful detail.

Oh, you think so? Oh, yeah.

It lends a, uh, an air of
dignity to the occasion.

You know, usually, uh,

Laverne and Shirley don't get
along so good and they, uh...

Th-They what? Well,
you know, I mean,

sometimes Laverne says
something Shirley don't like

and they, uh... Hey!

There's two girls beating
each other up in there.

They fight, that's
what they do, they fight.

(Laverne and Shirley yelling)

Shouldn't we do something?

In there?

(loud bang)

It's settled.

You see that?

I'm ready, Fonz.

What about Shirley?

She's putting on her
makeup. How come?

Because I held her
face under the sink.

Laverne.

Well, she said that my remark
about his hanky was crude.

I gave her crude.

All right, let's get
this show on the road.

Come on, Shirl.

Haul it out here.

We're going to the kid's
house, the one with the tie.

Still staring?

Bleh!

She'll be right with you, Red.

Yeah, no rush.

Fonz, do you think
I could talk to you?

Hey, sure.

All right, you see that?

Good as new.

All right, we had
a little adventure.

You had a little tiff.

It's all over now,

so why don't you just grab
your hat, grab your coat,

leave your worries on
the doorstep over there,

and I will talk to
Red over here.

What's up?

Fonz, now, I don't like
this... Girls hitting each other.

Richie, first of all,
it's Saturday night,

their big night out,

and second of all,
it gets up their blood

if you get my drift.

Huh? Let's go.

Girls.

Your dip fell... your dip fell.

Oh, w-wait!

Please, God, get
me through this night.

(fabric tearing)

I said please.

"Ha, ha, ha, I knew you
would lock yourself out.

Love, Joanie."

(banging on door, yelling)

Yeah, right, right,
I-I'm, I'm, I'm coming.

LAVERNE & SHIRLEY: It's cold.

Come on in, come on in.

Ugh! All right, girls.

Hey, uh, just plant
yourself on the sofa,

make yourself at home.

Is anybody upstairs
going to run down

and call me a nasty name?

No, no, I live alone here.

Oh, you an orphan?

No, no. You see, uh,

my Aunt Bessie had her
gallstones removed, and...

Hey, hey, forget
Aunt Bessie, all right?

Now listen, all right?

As soon as you feel
comfortable with Shirley,

you say, "Okay, Fonz." Huh?

And I will peel off with Laverne
up to my little penthouse.

Okay, Fonz. Hey, he says okay.

Let's go, Laverne. No.

RICHIE: Now, wait, wait, Fonz.

That's not exactly...

Hey, don't try to thank me.

Thank me tomorrow, all right?

You can thank me now.

You're welcome. Hey!

Hey, how come
we get the kitchen?

Laverne, come
on, will you, please?

I respect you, Laverne.

(door closes)

(laughs)

(sighs)

(clears throat)

Well, Laverne seems
like a really nice girl.

She's a bimbo.

Oh.

But she is my best friend,

so, uh, hey, why
don't you sit down?

Sitting.

Uh, tell me, where...

Uh, where-where do you work?

At the brewery.

In the bottle-capping
department.

Oh.

It's not exactly the nicest
job in the world, but I... uh...

(laughs)

What are you doing?

Uh, nothing, nothing.

Are you sure?

Uh, uh...

listen, you-you better
take your sweater off.

Oh. All right.

No, no, no, that's
not what I meant.

Uh, see, my, my cufflink
is-is hooked in your sweater.

Oh! Your cufflink...
Don't snag it.

I just bought this
sweater at the dime store.

Okay, all right, I'll
be careful. See?

Very careful. I'll
be careful, all right?

Very careful. Easy. Okay, uh...

Now, don't-don't pull,
don't pull, don't pull.

Okay, take it off. All right.

All right. Okay?

There, I got it. Oh, oh, oh.

Yeah.

Are you nervous?

Me? N-Nervous? No.

Uh... (clears throat)

Miss Feeney, uh,
are you thirsty?

Would you like
anything to drink?

I could sure go for a beer.

How about you? Oh, yeah, beer.

Right. Okay, coming right up.

Oh, say would you...? Oh.

Uh, would you like some
pretzels or anything?

Okay. All right.

Uh, listen, why don't
you just stay here,

and I'll get it, all right?

All right. Okay.

Hey, how about some chips?

Would you like some chips?

Sure, whatever.

Okay, I think we got those.

Boy, you sure had
a rough night, huh?

Yeah, well, you, too.

Hey, listen, tell me the truth.

Why did you and Laverne
get into that fight, anyway?

Oh, that.

Oh, when Laverne and I
went into the ladies' room,

I walked up to her, and I
said, sweet as you please,

"Laverne, you have
a mouth like a sewer."

Which she does.

And she said, "A sewer?"

And I said, "Yeah, a sewer!"

So she curled up her
chubby little hand, and bam...

Oh! (screams)

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.

Richie, I'm so sorry.

Oh! Oh!

Oh... Oh, are you all right?

Are you all right?

Oh, Richie, I'm so sorry.

Oh, dear.

Oh, here, let me
kiss the boo-boo.

Richie, we're home!

Oh! (squeals)

What's going on?

Oh, no-nothing.

There's nothing going on!

Ooh!

Oh, I missed it!

Oh!

What are you doing
back so soon? Oh!

Your Aunt Bessie got cranky
and threw us out of the house.

Who broke my lamp?
Who is this, Richie?

Oh, this is Shirley.
My mother, my dad.

Hey, wait a minute.
How do you do, Shirley?

Nice to know you.

Listen, will you just let me
say good night to Shirley?

Would you go upstairs,
and I'll explain everything?

Laverne and...
Laverne! Who's Laverne?

Let me just say good night.
Please, go upstairs, Dad.

All right, all right, hold
it. Say good night?!

Take Mom upstairs. All
right, we'll go upstairs.

Okay. Come on, upstairs.

Oh.

How do you guys like
being sent upstairs?

It's not much fun, is it?

MARION: Oh!

Oh, you're in real trouble, huh?

Well, uh, not-not
a lot, a-a little.

A lot. A lot.

I'm really sorry about this.

Oh, well.

Que sera, sera.

Maybe it's all for
the best anyway.

What do you mean?

Well, I kind of get the feeling

that you were pushed
into this date, weren't you?

Well, yeah, but
listen, I like you.

I think you're very
nice, Shirley. I re...

I'm going to make it
very easy for you, Richie.

Um, look, I'm going home now.

You think it over.

If you want to go
out with me again,

then, uh, you call me.

That way, at least I'll know

that it was your idea, okay?

You-You mean, if I called you,

that you would go out with me?

Sure. A girl would
have to be nuts

not to want to go out
with a cute kid like you.

I'll drive myself home, okay?

Laverne can hitch.

Good night.

How about a good night kiss?

You bet!

RICHIE: Good night, Shirley!

SHIRLEY: Good night, Richie.

Hey, remember, drive safe.

You have no insurance!

(banging on door)

RICHIE: Oh!

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪