Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 2, Episode 4 - You Go to My Head - full transcript

Shyness with a new girl, a bad James Dean impersonation and a book on abnormal psychology combine to make Richie think he should see a psychiatrist.

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Those happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

Fantastic.



That movie was something.

Really something.

James Dean movies are great.

My favorite part
was that chicken run.

Yeah, it was really cool when
that guy went over the cliff

with the comb in his mouth.

Here's the part
where Natalie Wood

fell in love with James Dean.

I don't remember that.

You were too busy playing
your box of Good n' Plenties.

Oh, come on, Ralph.

You haven't hit a good
note on that thing all day.

There's Carole Lipton.

Which one?

The smart-looking one.

She's in our chemistry class.

Richie has got a
big crush on her.

Oh, I do not.

Oh-h-h-h...

I-I just think that she
got a good... mind.

Yeah, sure.

You're chicken to ask her out.

I don't feel like asking
her out right now.

That's not being a chicken.

It's being a turkey.

Let's drop it, okay?

Okay, okay!

I wish I had a shot at Carole.

I really dig intellectual girls.

Especially that one.

I love the way her
mind fills her sweater.

What's that supposed
to mean, Fonzie?

Hey, uh, Potsie
and Ralph tell me

that you chickened
out on Miss I.Q.

Now, wait a minute.

I didn't chicken out.

I just didn't feel like asking
her out for a date, that's all.

Hey, you can't snow
the Fonz, Cunningham.

Huh? You sprout feathers

every time you try
to talk to a new chick.

So what's a guy supposed
to do about that, anyway?

You gotta ask me that
after you had just seen

two James Dean movies?

You know how Dean gets chicks?

I'll tell you how
Dean gets chicks.

'Cause he acts nutsy.

Acting nutsy gets
chicks? That's right.

Girls go for troubled guys.

That's how Dean
got Natalie Wood.

Well... maybe in the movies,

but I don't think that
would work in real life.

No? Observe.

I told you, Fonzie.

Hey, continue observing.

Hey, uh, are you all right?

Yeah, it's, uh...
it's just that I, uh...

I... Forget it.

Something is wrong, huh?

The minute I-I
laid eyes on you...

I said to myself,
I want that girl,

I need that girl,

but I can't have that girl
'cause I'm no good for her.

I-I'm bad news.

Look, just, uh, just
forget me, you know.

I mean, you got your
life to live, you know,

and I got mine.

Just go and get yourself
a malt and forget me and...

I'll go drive off a
cliff or somethin'.

Oh, no! No!

Hey, why don't we
go someplace quiet

and you can tell
me what's wrong.

You insist?

Sure.

Uh, class is dismissed,
Cunningham. Hey.

"Richie Cunningham...

Rebel Without a Cause."

Carole.

I need to ask you something.

Okay, ask.

Oh.

Are you feeling okay?

I-I, uh...

Richie, the bus is going
to be here any minute.

What'd you want to ask me?

I, uh... I don't
know, I... I just...

I don't-I don't know.

What's that supposed to mean?

It-It's like...

I... I want to ask
you out for a date.

I need to ask you
out for a date, but...

I'm no good for you,
so just-just forget it.

Okay.

You can forget
it just like that?

You're a very strange
person, Richie.

In fact, I think you
better leave my bus stop.

Oh, wait, see... you
think I'm really strange.

Well, it was just an act.

Like James Dean.

Carole! Carole!

Doesn't this look like Dean?

Well, it kinda looks
like Joanne Woodward.

I didn't think I was
that bad at impressions.

I mean in Three Faces of Eve.

She played a girl with
three personalities.

Come on, Carole, I
was just kidding around.

You're probably an only child.

From a psychiatric
point of view, that's bad.

That's good because
I have an older brother

and a younger sister.

Oh... a middle child.

Well, that's even worse.

They always get
the least attention

and they get the most messed up.

Well, there's a whole
chapter on that in here.

Abnormal Psychology?

Oh, here comes my bus.

Look, I don't
usually lend books,

but I think you could use this.

To understand yourself.

I don't need this book.

How about having
a try at it, Richie?

Yeah, sure.

I'll do it, Dad.

No, sweetheart.

You have little
lungs. Let Richie do it.

That's right.

Send the middle kid
out into the smoke.

A boy just called to say

that Chuck won't be
able to make it for dinner.

Well, what happened?

I thought he was coming
over after the game.

Well, it seems he
was the high scorer

and the fans picked
him up on their shoulders

and carried him away.

Nobody knows where
they carried him to.

Chuck was the high scorer?

How about that?

Hey, that's something
else, huh, Rich?

Chuck was the high scorer.

Oh, yeah. That's nice.

My brother scores
points, and I blow on fires.

Boy, he's a chip
off the old block.

That's the real
Cunningham spirit, huh?

I blow a pretty mean fire.

How does the table look, Dad?

Beautiful, Joanie,
just beautiful.

You know, Mom, anytime you
want to put those hamburgers on,

I've got the fire going
pretty good now.

It's one of the best
fires that I've ever seen.

Thank you, dear.

Do you need any help or
anything? I could maybe...

Oh, Richard, why don't
you go upstairs and wash.

You smell of smoke.

I'll bet Chuck and Joanie
never smell of smoke.

Hey, Rich.

Your father said it would
be all right if I came up.

Rich? Rich?

I'm in the closet.

Oh. Potsie and I

are going to a Martin
and Lewis film festival.

We thought you might...

What are you
doing in the closet?

Reading a book.

In the closet?

It must be Kiss Me Deadly.

No, it's not Kiss Me Deadly.

I read God's Little
Acre in the closet.

I spent two weeks with a
tennis racket jammed in my back,

but it was worth it.

I think the batteries are dead.

Abnormal Psychology?

So, big deal.

Why are you reading a
dumb textbook in the closet?

Ralph, it's a book
about the inner workings

of the human mind.

You mean like daydreaming.

I always daydream about Rhoda
Lasky and me on a desert island.

Ralph, it tells
about mental illness

and the phobias
that infect the mind.

Rich, you're
talking very strange.

That's right,
because I am strange.

You weren't
strange this morning.

That's because I
didn't know any better.

It-It's all down here
in black and white.

You know how I'm afraid
to talk to strange girls?

Well, it's in here.

I daydream a lot. It's in here.

I fantasize all the time.

I pretend I'm Mickey
Mantle. It's all in here.

Do you want to know why

I was in the closet?
I don't think so, Rich.

I was checking to see
if I have claustrophobia,

and do you know, I was
very uncomfortable in there.

Maybe you've
got a fear of coats.

Maybe you're afraid of the dark.

Are you afraid of the dark?

I don't know.

I always sleep
with the light on.

This book has-has illuminated
the dark recesses of my mind,

and I see a lot
of trouble in there.

Ralph, what would
you say if I told you

I was thinking of
seeing a psychiatrist?

You're nuts.

That's what I've
been trying to tell you.

Aw, come on. Richie.

You're no crazier
than the rest of us.

I mean, we all got
our mental quirks.

Look at Potsie... You
think he's normal?

He's not going to
any head shrinker.

And look at the Fonz,
supercool Fonzie.

Fonzie, with his, "Hey-y-y-y."

That's a little... that's really
sicko, when you get down to it.

Better not let him
hear you say that.

If you tell him, I'll
deny every word.

I won't tell him, Ralph.

You promise? I promise.

Okay. Okay.

Now, look at me.

Nice, normal Ralphie Malphie.

I got a few quirks.

What?

Rich... I know
everybody's jealous of me.

I mean, I know what they're
saying behind my back.

They're saying my hair
is too neat, I'm too cute.

Girls crave my bod.

I don't think
they're saying that.

Yes, they are.

And they're saying that
I look like a movie star

because my teeth are too even.

Hey, what time is it?

I gotta split and meet Potsie.

I'd hate to miss the part where
Jerry Lewis eats the pencils.

Maybe I'll see you
later at Arnold's.

Forget about
what I just told you.

I mean, I got no quirks.

I was just trying to help you...
make you feel better, you know?

Right, Ralph, thanks.

Okay. Okay.

He's right.

I'm as normal as anybody else.

I mean, what's so bad
about being afraid of girls...

about being jealous
of Chuck and Joanie...

about sitting in a dark closet,

or pretending I'm Mickey Mantle.

A lot of people probably
do things like that.

But they sure don't
sit in an empty room,

talking to themselves.

I got to see a psychiatrist.

You can sit down, Richard.

Or perhaps you'd
like to lie on the couch.

Oh, I'm not here for that.

I'll stand.

Well, is it all right if
I call you Richard?

Or would you prefer Dick?

Oh... uh, Richie's fine.

Would you prefer
"Doctor" or "sir"?

Doctor's fine.

Or you can call me Ed.

Ed's okay.

Well, uh, Ed, sir...
the reason I'm here

is-is I'm doing research
for a school project.

What school is that?

Oh, we-we like to keep
that information confidential.

Oh, I see. Yes.

Well, then, what
can I do for you?

Well, the project concerns
problems faced by teenagers.

Mm-hmm.

Would you like to talk about
any, uh, specific problems?

Yes, I do.

Now, there's this boy...
you better make that a girl.

Now, you realize
that these examples

that I'm giving you
are just made up.

I understand.

Good.

There's this girl, who, uh,

is afraid to ask girls
out for the first time.

I'll make that a boy.

I'm glad.

He also finds that
he has daydreams,

fantasies, and claustrophobia.

Claustrophobia too, huh?

Yes, probably stemming from
the fact that he's the middle child.

You-you don't seem
comfortable, Richard.

Oh, I-I-I'm-I'm comfortable.

But not on that couch.

You don't like my couch?

Well, it's a nice couch,
but it's for patients.

Why don't you sit in the chair?

Oh, thank you.

What's bothering you?

I think I'm going crazy.

Richard, in adolescence,
certain feelings emerge

which are quite common to
everyone in your peer group.

Really?

Do you have thoughts about sex?

Well, you know, I...

I-I just remembered that
I have a very important

appointment at Arnold's.

It completely slipped my mind.

Do you prefer not
talking about it?

Oh, well, I... I like sex.

I don't know much about it.

Just what I've read...

in the encyclopedias.

Let's try a little
test, shall we?

Okay.

Now, I'm going to say a word

and I want you to
say the first word

that pops into your head.

Don't even hesitate
to think about it, okay?

All right.

Let's begin.

Day.

Doris.

Day, Doris?

Doris Day.

Red. Buttons.

Ball.

Lucille.

Richard, you think quite a lot

about movie and
TV stars, don't you?

Is that bad?

No, not if it doesn't
limit your thinking

in other areas of reality.

Oh, well, it doesn't
limit my thinking at all.

I mean, I think about
other things, too.

Good, good. Let's try again.

Shall we?

All right.

Uh, Big.

Bopper.

Oh, well, see, he's
not a movie or TV star.

He's a rock and roll star.

Well, what's the big mystery?

What is it that you
can say to us here

that you couldn't say
at the dinner table?

Well, what I have to
say is very delicate.

Go ahead, Richard,
you can speak freely.

Well, I...

I don't know quite
how to tell you this.

Haven't you always
been able to confide in us?

Well, yeah.

Well, why is this any different?

Because I never had to tell you

that I've been seeing
a psychiatrist before.

A psychiatrist?

And that's not all.

You have an appointment
to see him, too.

I've got to go see
a psychiatrist?

You're upset.

Oh, no, no, of course not.

Going to a... uh, uh, uh...

is nothing to be ashamed of.

Did someone send
you to him, dear, or...

or did they come and get you?

No, no, I-I was just
feeling a little funny

and I went to the
college free clinic myself.

You sure you're not upset?

I'm not upset.

I mean, look, they helped
that baseball player,

uh, uh, Jimmy Piersall.

He-he doesn't climb
up backstops anymore.

Richard never
climbed up backstops.

Did you, dear?

No, Mom.

Now, look, Richard,
if-if you have a problem,

well, then, it's our
problem, too, and...

and we'll go see him
and we're not upset.

No one on my side of the
family ever went to a psychiatrist.

Well, my side of the family
is perfectly normal, Marion.

I mean they don't even
have to read "Dear Abby."

Really?

What about your Aunt Louise,
who lives in a bomb shelter?

When the big one drops,
who'll be crazy then? Huh, huh?

Well, the psychiatrist
will probably tell us

what's bothering Richard.

The only thing bothering
Richard is adolescence.

You're right.

It's probably nothing.

Well, sure... it's nothing.

Nothing.

I always thought Chuck
would be the crazy one.

Come in.

Mom?

Is Richie all right?

You were both in his
room with the door closed.

Is he sick?

It's nothing that a little love

and understanding won't cure.

Oh, good, I'm
glad he's all right.

But, Joanie, for the time being,

I wouldn't go too close to him.

And don't make him upset.

Sounds like he's crazy.

Your brother's not crazy.

Marion...

He's fine, sweetheart.

Now, you-you go
on off to bed, huh?

It's getting late.

Good night. Good night.

Howard, when we
go to the psychiatrist,

I wouldn't mention anything

about singing the
national anthem.

What's wrong with singing
the national anthem, Marion?

You do it in your sleep.

I do?

But you have a
very nice voice, dear.

The thing is, you got to
remember to be yourself.

Yeah, but you're the one who
told me to be like James Dean.

Dumb advice, huh? Dumb advice.

The only reason it works for me

is 'cause Dean and
I are so much alike.

Yeah, but... Do you
fellas want anything?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll
have a hamburger,

French fries and a Coke.

Hamburger, French
fries and Coke.

And you?

Nothing.

Nothing.

N-O...

If I'm just me, then
I still got problems.

Like-Like, I still
daydream all the time.

I still feel very
uncomfortable in closets.

I still... Hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.

One weird quirk at a time, huh?

All right, I... I
daydream a lot.

You mean, like, uh,

you wonder what it would
be like to be somebody else?

Yeah.

You ever do that, Fonzie?

No. Oh.

Oh, probably if I wasn't
so above average.

Yeah? Yeah.

Next?

Well... I have claustrophobia.

Nah, I don't know
anything about that... next.

Well, there's still the girls.

For some reason, I can't
get myself to talk to a girl

that I don't know very well.

Come here.

You think I always
made out like now, huh?

There was a time I was a
nervous wreck around chicks.

Then I made a
decision, Fonzie, cool it.

So I grabbed Wanda Prinsky,

give her a kiss and
from then on... whoa!

I don't know Wanda Prinsky.

Hey, any girl with
a mouth will do.

You mean you just go
up to one and kiss her?

Yeah, you plant
one right on her.

It clears up your head.

Oh, I don't know, Fonzie.

Rich, you want to go swimming,

you don't stay on
the beach, right?

You jump in the water.

It's the same thing,

except you plunge
in with both lips.

Excuse me.

Oh, I thought you
were somebody else.

Pardon me,

do you know if the bus that
stops here goes into downtown?

Yes!

Are you crazy?

I don't think so,
but I better try sitting

in my closet, just to make sure.

You know, ever since I
had my first army physical,

I've hated all psychiatrists.

Well, the army psychiatrist
said you were normal, didn't he?

Mm, yes.

I'll never forgive him for that.

Well, Richard's psychiatrist
was a nice professional man.

At least we know
Richie's all right.

Oh, yes.

I do hope that Richard
hasn't done anything...

you know, rash.

Hi.

Hi.

Ah...

We just had a nice talk
with you-know-who and...

He said there's
nothing wrong with you.

And you took the words
right out of my mouth, Marion.

He said that...

You seemed to be a
perfectly normal 17-year-old.

You don't have to go back again.

I already knew that.

You did?

Yeah.

Fonzie told me to just face
my fears and they'll go away.

You took a serious
psychological problem

to a high school dropout?

Yeah, he says that almost
everybody goes through

the same stuff as me.

You just have to outgrow it.

So then I kissed
this strange girl

and now I feel terrific.

You kissed a strange girl?

Yeah.

Fonzie says that
kissing a strange girl

always clears your head up.

So you just went out
and kissed a stranger?

Planted one right on her.

Now I feel fine.

I think I'm going to
go sit in my closet

for awhile and see how I do.

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days... ♪

Sit in a closet?

What kind of a
nut sits in a closet?

Howard. Forget what I said.

♪ ...all week with you... ♪

If Richard wants
to sit in his closet,

we should let him.

All right, Marion.

And if he's not out

in five minutes, call Fonzie.

Does he make house calls?

♪ ...Happy days! ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine,
good-bye, rain ♪

♪ She's wearing my
school ring on her chain ♪

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man ♪

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Won't you be mine? ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Oh, please be mine ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪