Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 2, Episode 15 - The Not Making of a President - full transcript

Much to his dad's dismay, Richie defies Cunningham Republican tradition and campaigns for the Democrats during the 1956 Eisenhower-Stevenson presidential race.

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and my happy days! ♪

Oh, hey, Rich, how you doing?



What are you guys doing?

You don't know
anything about politics.

We might not know
anything about politics,

but we know Stevenson
chicks are tougher than Ike's.

Very patriotic.

What's your motto:
"Make Out For America"?

Not bad.

Who are you for, Rich?

He's probably gonna be for

whoever his old man
wants him to be for.

Well, I don't see you guys going

against your fathers.

Hey, if the situation
called for it, we would.

Right, but we
wouldn't tell them.

Since when is
politics the key to sex?

Are you kidding?

I heard about a guy who
was canvassing in '52.

He rang a lady's doorbell
and didn't come out till '54.

Well, I don't think I
could support somebody

without a sincere reason.

What are you being
so serious about, Rich?

Don't you know sincerity
and politics don't mix?

Hi, Debbie.

Hi, Richie.

Win with Adlai.

Yeah.

Oh, uh... Hi, guys.

Oh, hey, Deb, you
brought the stuff, great.

Debbie, listen,

I was wondering, if
you're not gonna be busy

this Saturday night,
I thought maybe...

Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Richie,

but I really am very busy.

You see, I've been
elected president

of the Junior Democrats
for Stevenson.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Congratulations.

Are you for Stevenson?

Well, sort of.

I'm very interested in him.

Well, great.

See you then, Rich.

Remember, Adlai's the one.

Bye! Debbie! Debbie!

Sincere, Rich, very sincere.

Har-dee-har-har.

What do you think, Ralph?

Hey, come on.

♪ Sha-la-la ♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪

"Howard, don't pull
down the garage door.

It's broken. Marion."

Thanks, Marion.

Hurry up, dear; we're
starting without you.

Hi, Dad.

I got your note, Marion.

I'm so glad.

I was so afraid that
you would miss it,

so I put it right on
the garage door

so that when you pulled it down,

you'd see it, and you
wouldn't pull it down.

Oh, I guess I made a mistake.

You guessed right.

By the way, Marion,

how come there was a
Stevenson bumper sticker

on the back of my car, huh?

Kids are putting those
on bumpers all over town.

Someone even put
one on my shopping cart.

Well, we weren't allowed
to do that when I was a boy.

Did they have bumpers
when you were a kid?

No, sweetheart, we
used to paste them

on the backs of dinosaurs.

Har-dee-har-har.

All the kids say that, dear.

Kids say it, Marion,
not mothers.

Why is Dad so crabby?

Oh, your father's always
like this on an election year.

As long as Eisenhower
wins, he'll be all right.

Potsie and Ralph are
campaigning for Stevenson.

Why Stevenson?

Cause everyone knows all
the Eisenhower girls are flat.

Dear, it's not nice to
generalize like that.

I suppose you let
Ralph and Potsie talk you

into campaigning
for Stevenson, huh?

Well, they asked
me to, but I didn't.

Well, good for you, Richard.

I'm glad to see you
respect your father's opinion.

I respected my father, and he
taught me plenty about politics.

I guess there's a lot to learn,

but politics never
really knocked me out.

Well, it should.

You're gonna be old
enough to vote pretty soon,

and it's important
to pick the right man.

And take it from me, in this
election, the right man is Ike.

Why do you want Eisenhower?

Anybody who takes
the time to sit down

and have Thanksgiving
dinner with a tired G.I.

gets my vote.

Dear, there were 80,000
other soldiers there.

That's right, Marion,
and he saw to it

that each and every one of
us got a slice of canned turkey.

That's why you're
voting for him?

A man who can lead armies

can certainly lead a nation
better than some intellectual.

I heard that Stevenson
was for banning

unnecessary H-bomb tests.

They're not unnecessary.

The world wouldn't be
safe without the bomb.

Pass the chicken,
will you, Marion?

I hear Aaron and Matthews
signed a '57 contract.

Debbie! Hey, Deb.

Hi.

Are you working for
Stevenson now, Rich?

He'll go Ike, like his Dad.

He, he's just kidding.

You look very nice
dressed in Stevenson.

Actually, I was kind
of leaning his way.

It'll be fun working with you.

I'll see you later.

I can choose who I want.

It's a free country.

I pick Stevenson.

He's a good man.

Wait a minute.

I weighed the issues,
and I made my own choice.

Very objective.

Based on his foreign
policies and his, his

past achievements and...

And Debbie Hauser's legs.

Right, it makes me dizzy
every time I look at her.

And we have still
another convert

to the Stevenson camp...

A young man who
made a cool, clear choice.

So examine your own
conscience to see...

You're giving me a headache.

I said cheeseburger.

Richie, will you cheer up?

If Debbie Hauser had
showed up in a bikini,

she could have
converted me to socialism.

Hey, it's your dad. Yeah.

Hey, Mr. C.

Hi, Dad.

If one of you guys
did that, it's not funny.

It wasn't me, Rich. Me, neither.

It must have been
Freddy Hackman.

He's a real fanatic.

Hi, Rich, boys.

Hi, Dad. Mr. C.

They did it again!

Those dirty little
juvenile Democrats.

If I ever get my hands

on one of those kids, I'll...

Dad, the door!

I know, I know, it's broken.

You're mother wrote me.

If Stevenson wasn't
running for the presidency,

I would never have
done such a dumb thing.

Those Democrats
make people crazy!

Maybe you should run
away and send him a postcard

telling him you're a Democrat.

I'm not a Democrat.

I'm a skirt-chaser,
like you guys.

How am I gonna explain
going against family tradition

just because I want to
neck with Debbie Hauser?

I'd buy it.

Look, Rich, you're
doing good with her.

It could pay off.

I'm not doing that good.

But you were with her

last night and all day today.

All we do is hand out
buttons and stickers

and, and discuss
Stevenson's economic policy.

What a waste of a good campaign.

She won't even go out with
me until after the election.

Oh, she doesn't believe
in pre-election sex.

Now, look, don't be discouraged.

It'll all work out in time.

Politics is better than going

to a drive-in movie
with Louise Farkus.

Today, I was going
door-to-door on Maple Street,

and I went up to
Mrs. Reed's house.

The divorcée? Really?

That's right.

And you know what they
say about divorced women.

They don't have husbands.

Right.

So I walked in... Walk slowly.

What was she wearing?

A really short dress.

How short?

Her knees were showing.

And then she gives
me one of those looks.

And the bedroom door was open.

You got the picture?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

She's got a double bed
with pink satin sheets.

Pink satin.

And then what happened?

Nothing. She's for Ike.

You know, I really like
Stevenson's European policy.

Yeah.

Yeah, and, uh, I like
his stand on Berlin.

Absolutely.

And I think that Kefauver
is definitely gonna be

a lot more help to him
than his '52 running mate.

Yeah. I forget his name.

Oh, his, his '52 running
mate's name was, uh...

John J. Sparkman.

Wow!

You're really up on Stevenson.

Well, I feel if you're
gonna support

a candidate you should learn...

Hey, Richie, can
we talk privately?

Yeah.

Sure, why not?

You'd like to talk privately?

Uh...

Oh! Come on, Rich,
get to work, huh?

Why don't we go in there?

Great.

Now, uh, what did
you want to talk about?

You know more about
Stevenson than anybody.

You should give the
speech on Sunday.

What speech?

The youth rally at Arnold's.

You've got to
convince the voters

that Stevenson is the man.

Sunday's our last chance.

Sunday?

I'll be in church.

All day?

I've got a lot to pray about.

Oh, Richie, you're
just nervous, that's all.

You'll make a great
spokesman for Stevenson.

And just think how
excited your father'll be.

Yeah, sure.

He'll hardly be able
to contain himself.

♪ Ba-ba-ba-bay, ba,
ba, ba, ba-ba, ba, ran ♪

♪ Boo, boo-boo, boo-boo, boo. ♪

What I'd like to know is
how you in your right mind

could even consider Stevenson?

Oh, pass me the
screwdriver, will you?

I did research.

Research, huh?

Well, did your research tell you

that the Democrats
solve problems with war

and that Republicans are the
party of peace and prosperity?

Well, if the Republicans
are so great,

how come Eisenhower
waited until he was 60

to join the party?

He's got a point.

Maybe Ike was a late bloomer.

Marion!

This is not funny, Marion.

Our son is going
over to the enemy.

Sorry, dear.

Wrench.

And another thing,

Eisenhower has raised
the standard of living,

and it's gonna
continue to go up.

It's not going up;
that's just inflation.

And Stevenson has a
plan to curb that inflation.

Did you hear that, Marion?

A 17-year-old kid is
telling me about inflation.

What's Ike inflating?

Oh, everything.

Marion!

Nothing, dear.

Dad, I believe in him,

and I'm gonna give a speech
for him at the youth rally.

A speech? You're gonna
make a speech for Stevenson?

That's right. You
know what I think?

I think you've been brain-washed

by some pretty
little un-flat girl.

No, Dad, I've just
decided that I think

Stevenson is the better man.

Better man? Stevenson's
been divorced.

He can't even
run his own family!

Now, how do you expect
him to run the country? Pliers!

Listen, when a man is asking
to run the whole country,

he better be able to lay his
whole life open to criticism.

And I'll tell you why
you should be for Ike...

Because I'm for Ike.

Well, I don't think that's
a good enough reason.

My family has been Republican

ever since there have
been Republicans.

Now, how's that for a reason?

Well, if you want
to know the truth,

I'd say it's pretty
narrow-minded.

N-N-Narrow... Did
you hear that, Marion?

He said I was narrow-minded!

Yes, dear, I heard it.

Is this door finished? Yes,

it's finished... Now,
everybody inside.

Dad, it's only that I... I don't want
to talk about it anymore, Richard.

When a kid stops listening,

maybe a parent
should stop talking!

It's fixed.

Fixed by a Republican.

Richard, I think you
should wait a few moments

before you apologize.

I'm right. I know I'm right.

Why should I have to apologize?

Well... Look out, Joanie.

Because he's your father.

Right or wrong, I
always apologize.

It keeps my allowance coming in.

Why is it Dad's allowed to
stick up for his principles,

but I have to give up
mine? Well, it's like I said...

Because he's your father. Is
that a good enough reason?

No, dear, it's not.

Howard, aren't you
carrying this a little too far?

Marion,

if this chisel doesn't work,
I'm considering dynamite.

I mean with Richie.

Too far?

My own son defies me, and
he calls me narrow-minded.

Now, that doesn't exactly
make us buddies, Marion.

He didn't defy you.

You were just
discussing politics,

and he expressed
his point of view.

Yeah, but we weren't
talking about whether

he could stay up late and
watch The Steve Allen Show,

we were talking about
who's gonna run the country!

I know.

Well, Richard is growing up, and
he does have opinions of his own.

I'm not interested
in his opinions.

I'm a Republican, my
father was a Republican,

his father before him
was a Republican,

this is a Republican house,
and anybody who lives in it

is a Republican!

It's probably not the
time to bring this up,

but I think it would
be a good idea

if we went to hear
Richard speak tomorrow.

I mean, even though
we don't agree with him,

after all it's his first
speech in public and...

I was right.

It was the wrong
time to bring it up.

Howard... Richard
isn't the only one

who thinks you're narrow-minded.

Thank you, Marsha.

I-It's an honor to be
speaking here today.

Oh, look, we're just in time
for the silver-tongued orator.

You want to hear him
just as much as I do.

Marion, I only came to
hear the Republican side.

But I guess we got to go through
the chaff to get to the wheat.

You don't give up easy, do you?

My fellow Americans,

I come before you
today to speak for a man

who stands for America.

Yeah, but can America stand him?

Adlai Stevenson
is a man of action,

a man who carries with
him a great family tradition

of service to America.

His grandfather
was vice president.

Hey, kid, I thought there
was vice in his family.

Hey, mac, he's no kid, and
he's entitled to his opinion.

But to triumph.

Yeah, that-a-boy, Rich!

I know many people
think Stevenson

is just an intellectual,

but I say to you that
a vote for Stevenson

is a vote for all
men, big or small.

All right! Yeah! Yay!

His foreign policy is
one of great insight.

His domestic policy
will be one of action

rather than inaction.

We need a man who can
think in the White House.

I hope you'll all join me in
supporting Adlai Stevenson

for President of
the United States.

Yeah! That-a-boy, Richie!

Hi, you fellow Americans.

I'm Wendy, and
I'm just here to say,

it doesn't matter
who you vote for...

The important thing
is to vote, vote, vote!

Thank you, Wendy.

And thank you, Richie,
for a truly inspiring speech.

And now... now in
the interest of fairness,

we will hear a speech
for the other candidate,

whose name escapes me.

Now you're gonna hear
some intelligent politics.

Arthur Fonzarelli.

Well, there's your man, Howard.

How come Fonzie's
speaking for Ike?

Why not? Fonzie's got
more friends than Ike does.

Hey, he won the
war for you, didn't he?

Hey, hey!

Hey! Now, listen.

If Ike loses, the Fonz is
gonna be ma-ha-ha-ad!

I'll tell you, I like Ike.

My bike likes Ike!

So get out and
work for the old guy.

And one more thing,
huh, for all you volunteers

at the Eisenhower booth,
there's free root beer

and, uh, hot dogs, huh? Hey!

Hey!

Let's get a hot dog, Marion.

Hey, where are you guys going?

Don't worry, we're
still for Stevenson,

but our stomachs
are for Ike. Yeah.

Tonight, we are not
Republicans and Democrats,

but Americans.

And while we
have lost the battle,

I am supremely confident

that our cause will
ultimately prevail.

Now I bid you... good night.

I really wanted him to win.

Hey, Fonzie. What
are you doing here?

You belong with the winners.

Hey, there's a political saying
that says, "Go with the losers."

Down at the other place,
the girls are all happy,

they're up, dancing...
They don't need me.

Here all the girls
are down, depressed.

I'll give them a little
spiritual uplifting, you know?

And besides... my
heart goes out to them.

Hey.

I know just how you feel.

Well...

Come on, I'll...
I'll take you home.

No. I'd rather be alone.

Yeah, but, you
see, we're losers.

We should at least
console each other.

You know, spiritual uplifting.

No, Richie, I'm sorry.

I can't go out with you
tonight or any night.

Why not?

It'd be too painful.

Every time we'd be together,
I'd think of Stevenson.

Oh, that's
ridiculous. No, it isn't.

Every time my mother
kisses my father,

she thinks of Wendell Wilkie.

Bye, Richie.

Hi.

I kind of thought you'd be here.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, I wouldn't worry...
There'll be other Debbies.

I hope not.

What are you doing here?

I thought you'd be
at the Eisenhower

celebration. Well, I-I was.

But Fonzie said he was
coming over here, and...

I figured, where Fonzie
goes, uh... you know.

It was a nice speech, Richard.

I didn't think you'd like it.

Well, I didn't agree
with it, but I liked it.

Dad, I was right
doing what I did.

Richard, when I was your age,

teenagers wouldn't even
think of arguing politics

with their fathers.

My father was a Republican,
his father was a Republican...

That's how we voted,
and that's the way it was.

So when you went against me, uh,

well, I guess I
got a little miffed.

I began to see a boy
growing into a man,

and I wasn't ready
to give the boy up yet.

Well, anyway, our relationship

can't be the same anymore.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Oh, no, no, I think it's good.

I think I'm gonna enjoy having
another man around the family.

Now, what do you
say you and I go over

to Stanley's Pizza Parlor

and get ourselves a nice,
big, fat, juicy pepperoni, huh?

Oh, I'd rather get onion.

Richard, Stanley's
famous for his pepperoni.

I mean, we always get pepperoni.

Oh, we'll get half
and half, hmm?

I mean, if a Democrat and a
Republican can live together

in the same family, I guess
an onion and a pepperoni

can live together
on the same pizza.

I'll go get my coat.

Hi, Ralph. Hi, Rich.

Who won? Wilkie.

Thanks, Rich.

President of the United States.

And so Dwight David Eisenhower
goes back to Washington

with the largest
popular vote victory

in American history.

Who won?

Eisenhower.

Was I for him?

You betcha.

Then yippee, and
I'm going back to bed.

Mom, did you vote
for Eisenhower?

Well, of course she did.

Well, who else?

"Who else," Marion?

Well, I think I'll go upstairs.

Marion... Now, wait
a minute, Marion,

did you vote for
Eisenhower or not?

Well, let's put it
this way, dear...

You know that vote that
you got up so early to cast?

I think mine canceled yours out.

But you weren't
supposed to do that!

Why not? Adlai is a good man.

Oh, what do you know
about Adlai Stevenson?

I read up on him.

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Oh, please be mine ♪

♪ Oh, happy ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Happy days. ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine,
good-bye, rain ♪

♪ She's wearing my
school ring on her chain ♪

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man ♪

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Oh, please be mine ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and my happy days! ♪