Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 2, Episode 11 - Guess Who's Coming to Christmas - full transcript

HAPPY DAYS

Season 2 Episode 11
"Guess Who's Coming to Christmas?"

Hey, Dad, can we up
anybody over for tonight?

Now look, I thought
we had that all settled.

We decided that
this Christmas Eve

was gonna be
strictly for the family.

Can I have just summon
the chipmunks over?

Oh no! No, that would ruin it.
No chipmunks.

And no Richie's friends,
or no bedlam.

It's gonna be a nice, quiet
Christmas Eve.

It's just family tonight.



We're gonna have fun.

Look, well. We'll pop popcorn,
and we'll toast marshmallows,

and we'll drink some
cider, and trim the tree,

and then, later on, I'll read
"The Night before Christmas".

Jingle bells, jingle bells,
boring all the way.

No singing
at the table, Joanie.

Eat your eggs, Scrooge.

We know.
Bah! Humbug!

Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle...

All right.
Who's started trimming a tree?

Whose sock is this on a tree?

Hey, dad.

Is that you, Chuck?
I didn't know you were here.

Is this your sock?



Oh, that must have fell off
that bag of laundry I've brought in.

Yeah, see, it is not a Christmas sock.
It's a sweat sock.

I should have known.
Listen, I'm glad you here.

I want you to help me
put Santa up in the yard.

- Richie!
- Yeah, Dad?

I need some help
with Santa Claus.

Santa is here?
I thought you said no outsiders.

Everyone in this family
is a comedian.

Okay, Chuck, plug it in.

Okay, dad.

One's hardly moving.
Richie, try to turn in the handle.

- Which way?
- To the right, as "fast".

- Slow down, Rich. Slow...
- All right.

Oh-ow!

- What's the matter?
- The knob came off.

Here, let me see.

- Catch him! Catch him!
- I've got him!

I can't get this link back on.

- Will you help me?
- That's really funny, Richie.

What's going on here?

What do you...
What does it look like, Marion?

Looks like you're being
mugged by Santa Claus.

Ho-ho-ho, Marion.

Excuse me, miss.

I couldn't help to notice that you're
standing under the mistletoe.

Merry Christmas!

- Works every time, Ralphie.
- Hey.

That's pretty neat.
How about me try it out?

Why not.

- Hey, that's Wendy.
- No, no. Not Wendy.

Why not?
Here's your chance.

- Now you do it.
- Okay.

Hey, Wendy.
Can you come here for a sec?

Is something wrong
with hamburger?

No, but you're standing
under the mistletoe.

It's parsley.

Tough break. You picked
somebody who know salad.

Hey, Marsh.
Got Christmas gift for ya.

Thank you, Fonzie.

Oh hey, and this is for you,
my little sugar plum fairy.

Gee, thanks!

And here is Louie,
Huey and Dewey.

Merry Christmas, Merry
Christmas and Merry Christmas.

Thanks.

I don't have
anything for you, Fonz.

So what? Christmas is
for giving, not receiving.

I don't get it.
What's the act, Fonzie?

Hey, what do you mean by act?

Do you say I don't have
any Christmas spirit?

Oh no, no, Fonz.
A lot of spirit.

It's written all over your face.
You're walking Christmas card.

Yeah. Just so happens that
I am very big on Christmas.

I thought that was
well known about the Fonz.

Oh, Fonzie, I just had
to open your present.

It's beautiful.
Look, fellas, what it says.

"You are the ginchiest."

Isn't that something?

There is a heart
underneath all that leather.

This is from me, Fonzie.
That was the best I could do.

Marsha, this is beautiful.

You're a real Picasso-Pistachio,
you know what I mean?

Oh, Fonzie!

Hey, Fonz, since I
didn't get you anything,

how about come into my home
for Christmas Turkey?

- I've got plans.
- Yeah? What you're doing, Fonz?

Oh...

Well, uh...

I'm going up to Waukesha.

- Waukesha?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

I've got to debrief the thing
on Christmas time.

My cousin lives up there.
A big house.

They spread, they put up
for Christmas...

See, you know, uh,
lots of presents, big family,

big family,
big house, uh, lights...

a big-big tree. Works.

Oh yeah. Time no much
for family, you know.

But I figured, once a year
I could take it.

I'm leaving tonight
on a 4 o'clock bus.

Have a good time.

- Yeah, it sounds nice.
- Thanks.

Yeah. There's something about
Christmas that gets to me, you know.

Must be the spirit or something.

It's beautiful, just beautiful.

And so sweet.
Look, boys. See, what it says?

"You are the ginchiest."

You're such a poet, Fonzie.

Hey.

"Cunningham hardware
Have a cup of Christmas Cheer!"

Merry Christmas to you.

Bye-bye.

How come she only pays her will
on a Christmas Eve, huh?

Okay, everybody.
Stop working. Party time!

Mrs. Harrison, how about
some egg-nogg?

I'll wink anything,
but screwdriver.

I'll see another
the whole year through.

How about a rusty nail?

Oh, he's just pomp your leg,
Mrs. Harrison.

I just try to get a Niven.

Dad, is that something
wrong with Buzz?

He hasn't said a word all day.

Oh. He's okay.

His tongue gets numb
when he drinks.

I think the numbness
spread to his body.

Now I'd like to present
a little Christmas toast

to the best personnel
of hardware store I ever had.

- Hip-hip...
- Hurray! Hurray!

Past the lips and over the gums...

Look out tummy, here it comes.

Very appropriate.

Hey, Buzz, how about you?

We have non of word from you
all afternoon.

Well, maybe next Christmas.

We're luck.
Fonzie's still at the garage.

He says, he could fix it
if we get push it over there.

Well, hurry up, before it gets dark.

Why it is, that this car always picks
Sundays and holidays to get sick?

All right.

It's just a little leak
in your water hose.

You ready to go now.

Oh, thanks, Fonzie. Look, what.
How much do I owe you?

Hey, it's Christmas Eve.
It's my little present to you.

Oh, no, no, no.
I couldn't except that.

I said it was my present.

Well, thanks, Fonzie.

Look, it's after four.
You missed your bus, Fonz.

So what?
I'll catch the one at five.

Yeah, but your cousins and everybody
are gonna be waiting for you.

I think I just said, "So what?".

Gee, I feel bad
about you missing your bus.

Look, I'll tell you what.

Why don't we go somewhere
and have some coffee and donuts

till you catch the next one?

Oh, no. No, it's okay.

I can't eat right now.
I've got to save my appetite.

The food they put up
for Christmas Eve

is not to be believe!

Listen, I got an idea.

Waukesha is about what,
25 miles away?

Why don't we just drive
Fonzie to his cousins?

- Oh no.
- It's all right.

We'll make get home and
have plenty of time for dinner.

We could do that. Yeah.
We'll drive you to the Waukesha.

No. No, it's okay, huh?

And why don't you two guys
just get out of here?

I did just a little job for you.

Let's not make
a federal case out of this.

Okay, okay.
Don't get so exited.

Come on, Rich. Let's go.

Hey, Mr. C.

I know you're just trying
to be helpful, huh?

That's okay, Fonzie.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Yeah, yeah. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.

- What's the matter?
- I forgot to give Fonzie his present.

- I got him three-in-one wrench.
- Well, give it to him.

- Dad, I think...
- Richard.

It's almost time for
an old-fashioned Christmas,

and I am really
looking forward to it.

It's gonna be just great.

Just our all family
having Christmas together.

Yeah.

Jingle bells, jingle bells,

jingle all the way.

Yah-ta-ta, yah-ta-ta.

You know, as soon as we
get the street tremor,

I've gotta make us all
some nice hot cider

and then we're gonna roast
some marshmallows,

and pop the popcorn,

and do all of fun things we used
to do when you kids were little.

And we don't have to put our PJ's on
with the flyaway bottoms, do we?

You better not, Chuck,
or your brain will catch cold.

Hey look, Rich, we're having fun.

Oh yeah, yeah. Fun.

Oh-ow. Who put
the two green ones together?

Howard, it's always
red, green, yellow, blue,

red, green, yellow, blue.

What is that, Santa's law?

You made a mistake,
you don't try to defend it.

Hi Chuck, here is the present
from Richie to you.

What do you think it is?

Hey, watch it.

It might be
something breakable.

Okay.

I'm all set to put the star
on top of the tree.

There we go.

Okay, somebody plug in
the lights now.

I will.

Hey, they didn't go on.

Well, it's still a nice tree,
even if it is a little dark.

There must be a bad bulb.
Chuck, check it, huh?

Right, dad.

What's the matter with you?

You've been mopping around
ever since we got home.

Well, I guess I'm just
thinking about Fonzie.

Fonzie? Why Fonzie?

Dad, I don't think
he went to Waukesha.

Sure, he did.

Now look. He is with his family,
you are with your family.

You're both where you belong.

Richard, do you think
Fonzie is really alone?

Yeah, I'm sure of it.

Well, he made up some big story
about the party in Waukesha,

but I know he's at home.

I saw him eating ravioli
out of the can.

Now what king of way is that
to spend Christmas Eve?

Oh, poor Fonzie.

Look, how 'bout singing
"Jingle bells", huh?

Jingle bells, jingle bells...

Oh, come on, Marion.
It's your favorite.

Oh. Howard, I don't feel
like singing.

Well, why don't you phone him?

I tried. There's no answer.

Dad.

Why don't we just go over there?

Yes, after all, it is a Christmas.

Yeah, season of peace on Earth
and goodwill towards men.

- Didoes!
- Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

You're all missing the whole
point of Christmas Eve.

I mean, it's a family time.

We spend time together,
doing all the fun things.

Like trimming the tree
and drinking egg-nogg.

And singing Christmas carols,
and decking the halls,

and jingling the bells...

and thinking of Fonzie.
Let's get our clothes on.

Do you see, Dad?
He's in there.

Go ahead. Knock.

Didn't it could be embarrassing,
catching him like this?

I mean, it could be embarrassing.

Now look, Richie, you took us
away from our Christmas Eve,

and you brought us
all away down here.

- All right, all right.
- Get knock.

I'll think of something to say.

Fonz? It's me, Rich.

Look, I know you're in there,
Fonz, I heard the music.

Hey, Mr. C, how are ya?
My bus leaves in 15 minutes.

I was just done my way
down at the station.

I thought you catch in
the 6 o'clock. It's almost 8.

Yeah well, a packing took me longer
than I thought, you know.

I didn't know what to wear
and, uh...

You want hop me down
to the station? Come on.

Well, look, Fonzie. We'd like to
talk to you for just a second.

- I'm gonna miss my bus.
- Just for a second, Fonz.

All right.
But just for a second, huh?

I mean, I don't want to miss my bus.

- I travel light.
- Yeah.

Hey, this is very nice place
you got here.

Yeah. My bike likes it.

You always park your bike
in your apartment?

No, only in inclining weather.

That's why I'm keeping it here,
where it's nice and warm.

So, uh, what can I do for ya?

Well, uh...

Richie has something
he wants to ask you.

Yeah, what's up?

Well, we were wondering if, uh...

if you mind not rather go to
Waukesha in the morning,

and spend Christmas Eve with us.

I mean, we did hold you up.

Are you kiddin'?
They're waitin' for me.

Yeah, but we have this really
terrific tree this year.

And I just wish you could see it.

I've got a tree.

Oh, that's a very nice tree.

Yeah, it reminds me that, uh...

Well, I got you a present.
I forgot to give it to you before.

Thanks.

Well, I'm gonna get catch that bus.

- Wait a minute, Fonzie.
- Wait a minute.

Just a minute.

I've got to tell you the real
reason why we're here.

The... the real reason
we here is, uh...

Do you remember
that Santa Claus

that we put out
in our yard every year?

Well, for some reason,
it's not working this year.

Yeah. Yeah, Dad's right.

We can't fix it.
We hate to bother you, but...

Well, that Santa is sort
of a tradition with us.

Well, it sounds simple.

I could probably fix that
in two seconds.

Well, of course.
And I hate to bother you again,

especially you're up here putting
all that time on our car, but...

Well, something is really missing
if the Santa doesn't work.

All right, I'll fix it.

But then I go and catch
the 9 o'clock bus,

and it's the last one
tonight, huh?

And there's no way
I'm gonna miss that buss.

Come on.

- Nice going, Dad.
- Thanks.

Well, try another one, Chuck.

Hey, Fonzie fixed Santa!

Hi, you did a terrific job
on Santa, Fonzie.

Thanks.

Hi, Fonzie.

Merry Christmas, Fonzie.

Merry Christmas, Mrs. C.
Yeah. Glad tidings.

Hey, this is nice,
it's real cozy.

Hey, you people got
a nice tree, too.

Well, thank you.

Would you like some hot cider?
Worm you up.

Well, yeah, maybe half a cup,
but I got to go in a minute.

- Why don't you sit down, Fonz?
- No, no. I can't do it.

- I gotta go, you know that.
- Yes, we heard that.

I'm gonna have a nice time
of that, too, you know.

They got a living room
twice as size of this.

Better tree, nine-footer,
lots of presents around, you know.

Dad, I cant find the bad one.
It's just doesn't work.

- Keep trying, Chuck.
- I went through the whole string.

We're just gonna have
to do without lights.

Hey, what's the matter here?

Well, the lights work for one,
and then they just went out.

Yeah. I went through the whole
string with this new bulb.

Yeah, did you ever think
that this new bulb

might be the bad one, too?

Well, it crossed my mind.

But I thought I'd better
go ahead and check 'em all

before I jumped
to any conclusions.

Yeah, good thinking, huh?

A Christmas tree
got to have lights.

Without lights it's like
a pizza without mozzarella.

This would take me
about a minute.

How'd you people ever get
through Thanksgiving?

There they go.

- Hey, look at this!
- It's great!

This is the bad one.

What would we do
without you, Fonzie?

Now you'd be up a creep, Mrs. C.

Yeah, our car would be
stuck in the snow,

our tree would be out,

and our Santa Claus would be
mugging the neighbors.

Yeah, but I hate to tell you,
this is 3 minutes past nine.

Oh, you missed
your bus to Waukesha.

- Yeah, that's the last one tonight.
- Yeah, I know.

Well, why don't you
stay here tonight?

Even if it's not as good as
your cousin's house.

Well, I wouldn't say
it's not as good.

Yeah, Fonzie, why don't you
just stick around?

We'd like to have you.

Right, Dad?

Look, he wants to go.

If you want to go to Waukesha,

I'll tell you what,
I'll drive you to Waukesha.

I can be back in an hour.

Oh hey, Mr. C.,
it's really snowing hot now.

I mean, I couldn't make
you drive all the way.

You've got all the way
back in the snow.

Fonzie, you're staying here.

And I don't want to hear
another word about it.

Hey, Mrs. C., my mother
used to talk to me like that.

The only one who used
to get away with it, too.

Until you.

I accept your invitation.

All right, everybody, let's get
back to popping the popcorn.

Richie, brought some
marshmallows, huh?

All right, Dad.

Hey, Mr. C. Thanks a lot.

- For what?
- I knew you hip to Waukesha.

Well, to tell you the truth, Fonzie.
It was Richie who figured it out.

Hey, do you mind if I did that?

I was just noticing,
you don't do it right.

See, to pop popcorn you got to get
much more the shaking motion.

Oh?

- Okay. Here.
- Thanks.

Uh-huh.

Thanks for having all of your
freckles in the right place.

Hey, don't burn
those marshmallows.

Here, keep turning them.
Keep turning.

- Yeah, right.
- Yeah, like that, this way.

Say, would someone like to read
"The Night before Christmas?

Oh hey, I'd love to do that.
Would you mind if I did that?

There's one thing I'm really great at.
That's reading poetry. All right?

My gather repute.

- Is everybody ready?
- Yeah.

Hey, here we go.

Twas the night before Christmas,
when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring,
not even a mouse.

Can you believe it?

The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas
soon would be there.

See?

The children were nestled
all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums
danced in their heads.

Hey, wait a minute, Rich.

Make sure you get
the ball on the picture.

Well, you better put it
in the other hand.

All right, I got it.

Very nice palm trees, kid.

Oh, and here is the Polynesian
girls baiting in the palm.

Let me see that.

It's just more palm trees.

That's one for the kid.

- Dinner is served.
- I'm ready.

Well, Fonzie, it is so nice to have
you on a Christmas dinner.

- Hey, it's my pleasure.
- Right over there.

I have a room the next Easter.
You must come. Should be my place.

- This looks terrific.
- Beautiful table, Marion.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Are you gonna to say
a grace, dear?

Well, I kinda thought,

that since Fonzie was
in guest for dinner,

maybe he'd like to say it.

Oh hey, uh...

Oh, okay.

Hey, God?

Thanks.

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