Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 2, Episode 1 - Richie Moves Out - full transcript

(coin clinks in slot)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my 'cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪



♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days our ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪



♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

(doo-wop music plays)

RICHIE: "...and the
eggs lay buried in the sand

"during their incubation period

until the young are hatched."

I like learning
about reproduction.

Yeah, but knowing
about turtles and fruit flies

isn't gonna help much in life.

Well, it's fun studying
with you, Rich.

You're nice.

Well, thanks.

I think you're nice, too.

Now, Rich, I believe
it's wrong to neck

in a boy's own house,

especially if his
parents aren't asleep.

Oh, they're asleep.

Mom, Dad.

See, they're sound asleep.

Well... okay.

Do you want something, Richard?

No, Mom.

Well, I was just
coming downstairs

to find the new Reader's Digest

and I thought I heard you call.

Oh, is that you, Gloria?

I can't see in the dark.

Oh, yes, Mrs. Cunningham.

Uh, we were just
finishing studying

and, and we were
gonna watch a little TV.

I get it.

Well, I'll go back upstairs.

I can find out who this month's

most unforgettable
character is tomorrow.

Nice to see you, Gloria.

Your mom's nice.

Thanks.

Well?

HOWARD: Richard?

Your mother said you
were down here with Gloria.

(thud) Oh!

Hi, Mr. Cunningham.

Oh, hello, Gloria.

Oh, look, don't, don't mind me.

I just came down here
to get my reading glasses.

(sighs)

(clears throat)

Oh.

Ah. I found 'em.

Good night.

Nice seeing you, Gloria.

Good night, Dad.

Is that all your parents?

Yeah, I just have the two.

Must be great having
your own place, you know?

What brought that on?

Richie had to wait to
use the bathroom again.

Oh, well, if that's all it takes
to want a place of your own,

I would have left your
mother on our wedding night.

It's more than
just the bathroom.

I don't have much
privacy around here.

Joanie's always
traipsing into my bedroom

trying to get at my records

and Mom's always
putting things away

where I can't find them.

Well, I have to clean.

It's that Gloria.

You never used to talk this
way before you started dating

that kiss-a-boy-
in-his-own-home girl.

Mom, it has nothing
to do with Gloria.

Hi, everybody. Hello, dear.

Is that Chuck?

Guess what's in the bag, Mom?

Your basketball. I'll wash them.

You want some breakfast?

Uh, thanks. No, I just ate.

Maybe a little after-
breakfast snack, though.

Thanks, Dad.

So what's happening?

I have no life of my own.

I eat when the family
eats, not when I want to.

I watch your TV shows,
not the ones I like.

I can't even listen to
Fats Domino after 10:00.

Tell you what, little brother,
my old roommate just moved out.

Why don't you move in with me?

That's a great idea, Dad.

Richard, it's out
of the question.

Well, if Richie moves out,

I get first dibs
on your bedroom.

Richard isn't moving out,
so forget about the dibs.

Well, just in case... Good-bye.

You know, Marion, maybe
it's not such a bad idea.

Howard!

Well, Richard
feels stifled here.

Let him move out
and see what it's like

to be on his own.

It's a great idea!

Well, I don't know.
How will you get along?

You don't even have a job.

Oh, well, I'm, I'm ambitious.

I'm fairly smart.
I'm a hard worker.

I've almost got my
high school diploma.

I could be a bus
boy at Arnold's.

Well, I don't think so, Howard.

I do not want my son picking
up strangers' dirty dishes.

Ah, Mom. It'll be fine.

Won't it be fine, Dad?

It'll be fine, Marion.

You know, there's an old saying

that when a baby
bird leaves its nest

with just its pinfeathers on,

it always comes flying
home before it molts.

(muffled chuckle)

So, what do you think, huh?

Pretty nice for a
garage apartment.

Is this the garage
or the apartment?

Well, I, I know
it's a little messy.

I've been thinking
about getting a maid.

How about a salvage crew?

Hey, see, there we are joking,

getting along
just like old times.

Boy, I tell you.

Hoop!

Hey, I got a great idea.

Why don't you sort of be
maid around here, see?

And then I'll cut part of your
share of the rent each month.

What do you say? Hup!

Okay?

Yeah, I guess
that'd be okay. Great.

Uh... well, where do I sleep?

In there.

I'm sleeping on the couch?

No, in the couch.

It's one of those fold-out beds.

It's where my old
roomie used to sack out.

Oh... I guess
that'd be all right.

Oh. There's more than
just clothes on this couch.

Hey, there it is.

A shark's jaw?

Yeah. Marine biology.

I flunked.

Well, clean your
little heart out.

Aren't you gonna help me?

Well, the best
way I can help you

is just to stay out of your way.

Later, little brother.

POTSIE: Hey, Rich.

Oh, hey, guys.

Hey, what, what
are you doing here?

Well, I sort of
had to get a job,

now that I have to pay rent.

I moved in with my brother.

You got your own apartment?

Yeah, it's great. You
can do whatever you want

whenever you feel like it,
you don't have to pick up

after yourself, and the girls...
let's just say that when you

bring one home, you
don't have to worry

about interruptions,
you know what I mean?

(chuckling)

Listen, Rich, maybe sometime,

you know, if you're working

and your brother's
out or something,

I might have a date, you know,

and maybe I could
use the place, huh?

Oh, I don't know,
Ralph. You see, uh,

there's usually a little action
going on about all the time.

Hey, Rich.

I think the man in
the Henry J is hungry.

He just threw a menu at me.

I gotta get going, guys.

Listen, I'll invite you
over to my pad sometime.

Ralph, what are you
trying to do, get me fired?

Oh... Well, eat 'em
now that you took 'em.

What about our order?

I'll be back in a
minute to get it.

Ralph. Ralph.

You know, I feel kinda funny
about Rich working here.

Yeah? How much do you tip him?

The same as we tip
anybody else... nothing.

Hey, little brother.

Hey, Chuck.

Oh, I'm really beat.

I think this was the
longest day of my life.

I'm going right to sleep.

Oh, yeah, a good night's
sleep'll fix you right up.

Hey... Oh, your
marine biology class?

Yeah, that was our term paper.

Flunked it?

Yeah.

(sighs heavily)

Don't knock yourself out.

That's as far as it goes.

I think it's broken.

Well, I guess
it'll be all right.

What are you doing?

Practicing.

I do 50 a night with each hand.

Aw, you made me lose count.

One, two, three...

My first night in
my new apartment.

Boy, I'm really dragging.

Richard!

I worked here.

The job ain't that tough.

Well, it's more
than just the job.

It's going to school, too,

and the homework
and the apartment.

Ha-ha, the apartment.

Getting a lot of
action, huh, Rich?

Aw, well, you know how it is.

Yeah, we know how it is.

Yeah, we know how it is.

Um, can I borrow your
apartment again this afternoon?

Come on, you just
used it Wednesday.

Yeah. Please, Rich?

This girl's got potential.

I took her to the
drive-in the other night

and she's still talking to me.

All right. I'll
give you the key.

Oh, I got my own key.

To my apartment?

I had one made the last
time I used it. I didn't want

to keep bothering you.

I had one made, too.

Cunningham. Hi, Fonzie.

Can I borrow your pad tonight?

I just had my living
room carpet shampooed

and my bike leaked oil.

All right.

Do you need the key or
do you have your own?

Key? What key?

A paper clip.

Hey... All right, Fonz.

On second thought, I
better get a key, huh?

But not for me, for Cloris.

I tried to teach that
girl to spring a lock

with paper clips, hair
pins, dental floss, huh.

She just ain't got
no talent for locks.

Who's got the extra key?

Bernie's got one.

Gotcha.

Who's Bernie?

Bernie Coletti.

His father owns the key store.

I went to the apartment
this afternoon.

Oh, I don't know how
they can live like that.

There's socks and
underwear strewn all over.

It's definitely not a
house with a mother.

So you did their laundry, huh?

Well, I started to, but then
Potsie came in with a girl.

He said he was
helping her with Latin.

I didn't believe him.

RICHIE: Mom. Dad.

Richard! Oh! Hey,
Richie, good to see you.

Oh, did you come home to stay?

If you want your room back,

give me time to
move my guppies out.

I'm not about to give
up my bachelor pad.

Not after I had a
taste of the good life.

I just came by to say, "hi."

Well, hi. Hi.

Well... Come on!
Sit down, sit down.

Well... Right here.

There you go.

Oh, Howard, pass
Richard the meat loaf.

He must be starving.
Oh, sure. Here.

Oh, no, no, I'm having a big
dinner at my apartment tonight.

You know, if I didn't like steak
so much, eating'd be a bore.

HOWARD: Well, how's it going?

Everything okay? Is
there anything you need?

Oh, pass the biscuits,
will you, please?

Have some asparagus.

You know, having your own
place is the only way to live.

You know, being out on
your own, and everything.

Well, at least have
a brownie for dessert.

Oh, no. No, I don't think so.

Oh... Oh, well, go
ahead, take one.

Make your mother happy.

Oh, well...

If I'm gonna make her happy,

I might as well make
her really happy.

(ball thumping, tap running)

Chuck, what're
you doing in there?

I'm trying to dribble and
shave at the same time.

It's good for the
coordination...

Ow!

Mm!

What happened?

I think I double dribbled.

Listen, Chuck, could you
hurry up in the bathroom?

This is the first night
I've had off in a week

and I got a big date.

Oh, yeah? Anybody I know?

I don't think so. She
doesn't play basketball.

Listen, Chuck, we might wind up

back here a little bit later.

Oh, it's okay by me.

I gotta watch some
game films anyway.

And the coach wants us
to run over some new plays.

Oh, great.

Oh, say, listen,

if you're gonna
have a girl up here,

maybe we ought
to rig up a signal

or something to let me know.

Like a light in the window?

Well, I usually put a
sign on the door that says,

"Keep away, I
got a girl in here."

You know, Gloria,
the night's still young.

(slurping)

We can still go
places and do things.

Yeah. My father gave me
an extra half hour tonight.

That's great.

Where would you like to go?

Oh, I don't know.

Are your parents asleep?

Oh, not yet.

But you know, uh,
I have my own...

Own what?

Bowling ball.

But if you don't like bowling...

I hate bowling.

Let's go to your apartment.

That's a great idea.

Why didn't I think of that?

Let's go.

Right.

Well, turn on some lights
so you can see the place.

Well, what do you think?

Uh... well, it's bright and...

uh... so mess... masculine.

Oh, yeah.

But it's a lot more private
than your parents' house.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's really private.

I mean, a guy
and a girl could...

really have a nice talk.

Want me to show
you around the place?

Oh, I don't think we have time.

I mean, don't forget I
have to be home by 11:00.

Oh, right. No problem.

Ah, good idea.

There.

Why don't you pull
down the shade?

Well, maybe I'd better not

because then you might
not be able to see in.

I know.

I'll pull down the shade.

Well, hmm?

Oh.

Ow!

What's wrong?

Oh.

Yeah, that's my brother's.

Oh, he has very big feet.

Yeah, he says that's why
he has such good balance.

I'll put on something romantic.

Oh, what you're wearing is fine.

Oh, I mean records.

There.

Oh, my brother's shoe.

Well...

ANNOUNCER: There are
over 10,000 people here today

and all of them
want but one thing:

the conference championship.

And there's the toss.

Oh, now, that's really
putting me in the mood...

to lead a cheer.

Well, that's my brother's, too.

See, he likes to listen
to it before every game.

There. That'll be a lot better.

(slow pop music playing)

Rich? Hmm?

I feel like we're being watched.

Oh.

Well, maybe if we moved
to this side of the couch.

Rich...

There, it works.

♪ ♪

(phone ringing)

That's the telephone.

I know.

(ringing continues)

I'll find it. (chuckles)

(sighs)

It's here in the drawer.

Hello.

Hello.

They hung up.

(sighs)

♪ ♪

Where was I?

Right.

(doorknob turning)

I'm not planning
anything funny, honest.

We'll listen to records.

Uh... somebody's
already listening to records.

Rich, I didn't know
you'd be here.

Oh, well, why should I
be? It's only my apartment.

Yeah. Well, I guess
we better be going.

Right this way, my dear.

Make yourself at... (gasps)

Potsie! Trudy! Richie!

Gloria!

Hey, this is great!

We can have a party! A party.

A party?

Yeah, we can play charades.

RALPH: Great idea.

Come on, Susie, let's sit down.

That's not exactly
what I had in mind.

Well, since Ralph's staying,
we might as well stay.

You got any peanut butter
and crackers left, Rich?

Yeah, it's in the...

POTSIE: I know where it is.

Okay, clip...

Oh, hey, uh, I made a
phone call, nobody answered.

We kinda came here to
be by ourselves, you know.

So did everybody else.

Come on in.

We'll all be by
ourselves together.

Yeah, come on in.

(all talking at once)

Hey, it's a par...

Hey, Rich, hey, uh,
we're gonna have

a little extra strategy meeting.

Hope we're not interrupting.

You know, when I get
you alone like this, baby,

I get all crazy inside.

(romantic music plays)

Murphy, you're the pivot, okay?

Jasper, Jasper, will
you please pay attention?

Come on. This is important.

Come on, O'Connell,
stop foolin' around, will ya?

Okay, come here.

Monster movie! Monster movie!

The Creature From
The Black Lagoon.

No.

You're my father
when I ask for money.

No, it's a monster movie.

Oh, Love Is A Many
Splendored Thing.

No. No.

RALPH: Trudy, you do one.

TRUDY: Okay, I got one.

RALPH: Okay,
hurry, hurry, hurry!

POTSIE: Hurry, come on!

Old movie, old movie.

RALPH: Movie,
movie... What year?

You want to go bowling?

RALPH: How many words? How
many words? Three words, three words.

Come on. First word, first word.

Um, how many syllables?

Small word... "The, The, The..."

POTSIE: "Scuzzy."
In... uh... of...

Movie, movie!
Three Faces Of Eve.

Excuse me,
everybody. Dean Martin!

Could I have your
attention, please?

Natalie Wood in, um, um...
East of Eden... East of...

Gang!

Seven Year Itch!

I'm scratching my head! Come on!

Hey! I have an announcement
to make: Everybody out.

This is my apartment.

I want to be alone with my date.

Everybody out.

Wait a minute, Richard.

I paid my rent. Out!

Mom's gonna hear about this.

I meant it.

Everybody out. Right now.

Right now.

(whistles): Kid's
got a good point.

Everybody out.

Let's hustle!

Everybody, let's go!
(mumbling and grumbling)

Arnold's is better than this.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
See ya, Richard.

Bye, friend.

You, too, Fonzie.

Me, too, what?

You gotta go.

I want to be alone with Gloria.

I like a guy with spunk.

But only once, huh?

Remember that.

Hey.

Oh, wow, Richie, that
was really something else.

I mean that was better than, than
Spencer Tracy in Bad Day at Black Rock.

Well... I was
ready to leave, too.

Well, now we're gonna do
what we came here to do... neck.

Oh, anything you say, Richie.

(alarm clock ringing)

(ringing continues)

Maybe we'll have time

for a good night
kiss at my door.

The story of my life
is kissing at the door.

(ringing continues)

MARION: Now, dear,
there's egg salad and tuna.

Oh, thanks, Mom.

Marion, when the
Prodigal Son returns home,

you're supposed to
feed him the fatted calf,

not make him the
fatted Prodigal Son.

Well, then, I'll go fix lunch.

You know you could
have saved yourself

a lot of trouble packing.

Yeah, it was really lousy

having my own
apartment this time.

The place was always a mess.

There was never
any food in the house.

I had to work all the
time just to pay the rent.

All I got out of that
place was a bad back.

Yeah, well, someday you'll
have a place of your own

and it'll be different.

You think so, Dad?

Sure.

You'll probably
be married by then.

But until that time,

I think it's a good idea

that you let me have the
key to Chuck's apartment.

Oh, right.

There. Thank you.

Oh, wait a minute, Dad.

Oh, there's one more.

And, uh, and this.

A paper clip?

That was Fonzie's.

Hi, Richie. Hi.

Hey, do you know how
much a hot fudge sundae is?

No, I don't. Sorry.

I'll put down 60 cents.

Well, I think that's too much.

Yeah, but when a guy says,

"Hey, you charged
me 20 cents too much,"

I'll know the right
price is 40 cents. See?

That's good figuring, Wendy.

Hey, thanks. I'll see you later.

(tires squealing)

(engine roaring)

Richie, I gotta talk to you.

What about?

It's very important. Come here.

Well, I don't have
time to talk right now.

I gotta get home.

Will ya come over here?

Okay. Now, you've
gotta help me out.

I got a date with
Sue Anne Shaloon,

the Sue Anne Shaloon,

and I got no place to take her.

Ralph, I moved back home.

I know, and your brother
keeps hanging up on me.

Well, listen, I got an idea.

Why don't you
wait till it gets late

and take her to your house?

Can't. My folks stay up to
watch Jack Paar every night.

It's tough making
out while a grown man

is crying in the background.

Hey, Potsie!

Hey, do me a favor, guys,

don't order anything that
needs a glass or a dish, huh?

Why'd you take my old job?

I didn't do it for the prestige.

I decided to move out
on my own like you did,

only, uh, I'm gonna
earn the money

before I make the move.

That's really smart.

Where you gonna move to?

I'm thinkin' about taking a room

on that brownstone
on Maple Drive?

(car horn beeps)

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine. Happy Days! ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine,
good-bye, rain ♪

♪ She's wearing my
school ring on her chain ♪

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man ♪

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Won't you be mine? ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Oh, please be mine ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine. Happy Days! ♪