Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 1, Episode 7 - Fonzie Drops In - full transcript

Soon after patting himself on the back for convincing drop-out Fonzie to drop back into high school, Richie risks his neck by refusing to help the intimidating tough cheat on a test.

(Bill Haley and the Comets) ♪ One,
two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock

♪ Five, six, seven
o'clock, eight o'clock rock

♪ Nine, ten, eleven
o'clock, twelve o'clock rock

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ Put your glad
rags on, join me, hon

♪ We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes one

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock
strikes two, three, and four

♪ If the band slows
down, we'll yell for more



♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

(guitar solo)

♪ When the chimes
ring five, six, and seven

♪ We'll be right
in seventh heaven

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock strikes
twelve we'll cool off then

♪ Start a-rockin'
'round the clock again

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight ♪



♪ This day is ours
♪ Oh, please be mine

♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

(Richie) Ralph, I'm open!

Ralph, come on!

(Ralph) I can
score, I can score!

Go for the lay-up.

(young man) Foul! You hacked!

Fonzie, did I hack him?

No hack. No hack, no hack.

(Potsie) Hey, Rich, I
got back my history test.

(Ralph) We playing or not?

(Richie) Get somebody else.

How did you do? I don't
know. I probably flunked.

I'm afraid to look.
Would you look?

Ha. Let me see!

B-plus!

B-plus!

Ha ha ha!

I knew I had it cinched. Sure.

(bell rings) (Ralph)
Back to the salt mines.

Great, I got biology.
We gotta cut up frogs.

Right after lunch? Yuck!

I never thought of that.

I got French.

Ooh-la-la! So do I!

Hey, Fonzie.

Don't you have to
go back to work?

I'm takin' the day off.

Oh.

You got big plans?

Nah, I thought I'd
drop down to Arnold's.

There's a phone number on
the wall I've been meaning to try.

Sounds interesting.

You goin' back to class?

No, I got a free period.

Wanna come down
to Arnold's with me?

Oh, no, thanks.

I'm not much on
blind, uh... numbers.

This test... no sweat.

I'd get an "A".

You know all the answers?

I said I'd get an "A", didn't I?

Fonzie, didn't you ever
regret dropping out?

Nah, too many rules.

I guess it doesn't
really matter.

I mean, you're doing
pretty well as a mechanic.

You're kind of the, uh,

the Mickey Mantle
of the grease pit.

I'm the best.

I bet it's a lot of fun
living in the adult world.

Almost everybody's married.

They all go home
right after work,

all except ol'
Roscoe, the lube man.

He's your friend.

He's 70 years old!

Oh. I guess that's too adult.

We go out for a couple
of beers after work.

Oh, that's nice.

All he talks about
is his lumbago.

You make school sound fun.

Oh, school's got good points.

I mean, uh, smokin' in the
bathroom, cuttin' classes,

showin' my tattoo to the chicks.

Do you ever... think
about goin' back?

There's a whole
new crop of girls

who haven't seen your tattoo.

You'd be a celebrity.

My tattoo ain't that
great. No, no, no, listen...

You would be the only
high school drop-in.

Well, how does a person go
about, you know, droppin' in?

All you have to do is go down
to Principal Faraday's office

and explain it to him.

That's all.

Yeah?

Sure!

Come on. Huh?

You're comin' with me.

So, Arthur, you want
to come back to school.

May I ask why?

Sure.

Well, why do you want
to come back to school?

Tell him.

Well, sir, it's,
uh, it's this way.

(clears throat)

(softly) Do you want me
to tell him about the tattoo?

(clears throat)

Well, sir, it's this way.

Fonzie felt that
there was a, uh,

a cultural void in his life.

Hey, that's good.

And he realizes that there's more
to life than just being a mechanic,

and he wants to
finish his education

so he can... pursue a
more satisfying profession.

Hey, that's good, too.

Tell Arthur he can start
back in the morning.

Cool.

Oh, Arthur, just a minute.

I wonder if you could
take a look at my car.

I'm still having
that clutch trouble.

Not again. How many
times I gotta tell you this?

Drive with your
foot off the clutch.

It's not really my...
No, I'm telling you,

I'm not gonna touch
your car till you promise

to drive with your
foot off the clutch.

All right.

No, I wanna hear a promise.

I promise not to drive
with my foot on the clutch.

All right.

Bring it around to the shop,

and I'll, uh, see you tomorrow.

Ohh! Your father
forgot his lunch.

What did you make? Deviled ham.

He didn't forget it.
He left it on purpose.

He says that stuff is "ucky."

Well, I never knew that!

He didn't tell you

because he didn't want
to hurt your feelings.

Richard, did you know that
your father hated deviled ham?

Sure.

Well! The wife is
always the last to know.

Wonder what else
he doesn't like.

Maybe I should change perfume.

I gotta hurry, Mom.

This is Fonzie's first
day back to school.

Well, that's very nice, dear,

but I'm sure even Fonzie
is taking time for breakfast.

Well... I'll bum a
jelly roll off Potsie.

Well, that'll be good
for a few cavities.

I want to get to
school early, too.

Jeanie Scarsdale's gonna
tell us where babies come from.

She's got a book with
pictures and everything.

You sit right down. I
will drive you to school.

We'll have a little
talk on the way.

OK, but it won't be the
same without pictures.

(snaps fingers)

All right, class.

Settle down, settle down.

(bell rings)

Girls... settle down, please.

Now, put your books
under your desks

and take out a piece
of paper for a pop quiz.

Hey, we're gonna have
a quiz about our fathers!

Yes, can I help you, sir?

No, I'm no "sir." I'm a new kid.

Oh, a new student. Yeah.

Hey, look who's
here. It's Fonzie!

What's he doin' here?

He's probably dating Miss Pratt.

No, no, he's dropping back
in. Aw, you're kiddin' me!

Class, we have a new student.

This is Arthur Fonzarelli.

Yay! All right!

You seem to be very popular.

Oh, yeah, but by the way,
I like to be called "Fonzie."

(laughter)

You may take a seat,
uh, Fonzie. Thanks.

Hey, I think I would
be very comfortable

sittin' right about here.

Right. And I think you'd be
more comfortable over there

with that young lady over here,

and that pretty lady over
there, you move over there.

This lady wants to sit next to
me. I'm real sorry about that.

Only take a minute.

Mr. Fonzie, you have
disrupted the class.

Oh, hey, I was just rearrangin',

just to get the
right atmosphere.

They were arranged...
Alphabetically.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

You want me to
put 'em back again?

Uh, no. Never mind.

Uh, please... sit down.

Now, before we begin the quiz,

I would like to emphasize
one important contribution

of President Truman.

Yeah, he encouraged
everybody to take piano lessons.

(Potsie) He added a few
new words to the dictionary.

(laughter)

Hey, hey!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

The teacher is talkin' here!

Thank you, Fonzie.

Hey, Cunningham.

Hey, Fonzie.

Hey, Cunningham,
you're so bright.

You're a bright guy

for someone who don't ride a
motorcycle. Oh, well, thanks.

You want me to do good,
don't you? Oh, yeah, of course.

Well, I'll tell you somethin'...

I'm havin' a really tough time

gettin' back into
the swing of things.

I just might need some
assistance on all that homework.

Well, sure. What kind
of help do you need?

Well, actually, I want
you to do it for me.

Hey, Fonzie. Hey.

Hey, Trudy, listen...
I got business.

Go find me a four-leaf
clover, will ya? OK!

Hey, you got my English
homework for me? Oh, sure.

Uh, and the biology. Oh, great.

Listen, Fonzie... Yeah.

Uh... I've been doing your
homework for a week now,

and... the truth is, I haven't
had much time to do my own.

Hey, you should
have said somethin'.

You don't have to do
it anymore. Oh, thanks!

But I'm gonna miss your biology.

I mean, the way you
draw those little germs...

Man, you gotta be the
Rembrandt of bugs! Thanks.

Listen, uh, there's this
history exam tomorrow.

Oh, you want me to tutor you?
What does that mean, Cunningham?

Tutor. Uh, tutor means
help you study for the exam.

Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's what I need.

You come to the
garage, and you can tutor

while I fix Cutter
Margolin's headers.

Listen, I got a better idea...

Why don't you come over for
dinner, and we can study afterwards?

Sure. I'll come right
after work. (bell rings)

Great. Listen, answer
for me in English, will ya?

I got an appointment. Oh, OK.

Hey!

Um, I couldn't find any.

Trudy, come here.

You free tonight? I'm
always free for you.

Good. You can do my
homework! (laughing)

Richard, when is your
guest getting here?

The mashed potatoes
are getting stiff.

Fonzie will be here
just as soon as he

finishes working on
Cutter Margolin's headers.

Oh, well, just as long as
it's something important.

Fonzie's a hood. Joanie!

No, he's not. He's
just, uh... worldly.

(doorbell)

Oh, that's probably
him. I'll get it.

Fonzie's a hood! Dear, I don't
like to hear you talk like that!

He drives a motorcycle, and
motorcycle drivers are hoods.

Joanie, you just can't make
a broad statement like that.

You saw The Wild Ones.
Fonzie's just like Marlon Brando.

Fonzie, you remember
my parents. Hey.

Fonzie. And that's
my little sister, Joanie.

Hey. Listen, I'm sorry I
couldn't get into better threads,

but, uh, Cutter's rod took
longer than I expected.

Oh, that's perfectly all right.

Well... why don't we
sit down? Hey, great.

You sit here.

All right. Hey...

He took my chair! Well,
it's all right. He's a guest.

Hey, Dad, you never
sat next to me before!

You're very observant, Joanie.

Dear, I told you not to
wear your ears at the table.

Uh, what do you plan to do
when you get out of school?

Oh, I was thinkin' I
might become a cop.

That's very admirable.

I mean, it's the only job I
know where they pay ya...

to drive a motorcycle.

Would you pass the salt
and pepper please, Marion?

Oh, hey, these are great mashed
potatoes, Mrs. Cunningham. Well, thank you.

I mean, good and stiff, just
like they make at the diner.

Yeah.

Do you have a zip
gun in you pocket?

No, just a crescent wrench.

What's the matter, you never
saw a crescent wrench before?

Well, not at the din... Not
one as nice as that one.

Oh, yes, my own personal
crescent wrench! Ah.

We saw The Wild
One. Crummy flick.

Oh, I should say so. I
mean, if I were Lee Marvin,

I would've cracked Brando's
skull with that trophy.

Oh, my goodness.

I really like your
folks, Cunningham.

Yeah, well, uh, they like
you, too. OK. Let's get started.

Well, I think that we're gonna do a
little different than what you had in mind.

Huh? Yeah, I'm
gonna do the tutoring.

But you don't know much
about American history.

No, but I know a
lot about cheating.

Listen, uh, I can't cheat.

Hey, I'm not gonna ask
a good buddy to cheat.

I just need your help to get me
over some of those rough spots.

Now, I'll show ya
what we're gonna do...

But, Fonzie... Cough.

What? Cough. You know,
like when you got a cough.

(coughs)

Uh, you'll practice.

All right, now, it's a
true-and-false test. I'll cough first.

Then you give me two
coughs for true, one for false.

You got it? Fonzie, it's wrong.

No, that's the way it's always done.
Two coughs for true, one for false.

No, I mean, it's not right.
You got a better way?

We could study.

Let's try it one more
time. Gimme a true.

(coughs)

Better.

Miss Pratt's gonna
think I got TB.

Hey... you're right.

Good. We'll study. I got it!

You cough for the first ten
questions, you whistle for the rest.

I can't whistle.

Cunningham, your
heart just ain't in this.

Look... I'm your buddy, right?

And buddies should
help buddies, right?

Now, you kinda got me into this.

You said I could make
it and that you'd help.

Well, I'm not makin' it so good,

and, uh, I need
you to help me out.

(whistles)

Where you been? Fonzie,
I gotta tell you somethin'...

Mr. Cunningham, you're
not only one minute late,

but you're compounding your
tardiness by speaking in class.

Please put a tick-a-lock
on your mouth. Yes, ma'am.

Now, if the first desk
would pass the papers back.

(softly) Fonzie says you're
gonna help him cheat.

(softly) I changed my
mind. He's gonna kill ya!

(coughs)

(coughs)

Either Fonzie wants you or
he has a whooping cough.

(coughs loudly)

I must have caught
a germ in biology.

Turn around, huh?

(softly) Fonzie, I'm
sorry, but I can't cheat,

not even for a friend.

(softly) Yeah, well, I
figured that, Cunningham,

but I am prepared.

And, uh, just where do you think
you're going? To hang up my sweater.

Absolutely nobody is allowed
to leave his seat during a quiz.

Uh, Miss Pratt, um...
could I open a window?

Yes, Fonzie. We can
never have enough fresh air.

Hey, that's what I
always say. Yeah.

(cooing)

(softly) Bird. Beat it, bird.

You're on my notes. Bird!

Oh, bird! Look what
you did to my notes.

(softly) Even the
birds are against him.

Boy, I'd hate to be you
after school. (softly) Me too.

I might as well
get it over with.

Listen... you're my best friend.

If you want me to come
along with you, I will.

Oh, I would really
appreciate that, Potsie.

Some best friend! You want
me to get my jaw broken, too?

Then who'd nurse
you back to health?

You're right. Don't come with
me. Now you're talkin' sense.

But I'd go with you if you
wanted me to. Thanks.

Remember... I'm
with you in spirit.

Yeah, yeah, I like you
with your pompoms. I'll call.

Hey.

Cunningham. Come here.

What are you gonna do with that? I
don't know. Maybe buy a new lock.

I broke my key off in it. I need
it to lock up my bike at night.

You're not mad about today? Nah.

See, guys like you... Pat Boone,
Dick Clark... you're too square to cheat.

Besides, I didn't,
either. You didn't cheat?

Nah. That girl in front of me...

She had the wrong
crib sheet on her neck.

And that dumb bird messed
up my notes at the window.

That's too bad. I passed anyway.

Fonzie, that's terrific!
Yeah. I got a 66.

I made it by one point. Then I went down to
the principal's office and I dropped out.

But there's no reason to
drop out now. It's no use.

Listen, you've proved that
you can pass. You can pass!

No, I mean there's no use
in tryin' to save this lock.

Here's a present. Come here.

You don't tell this to nobody.

What I'm tryin' to say is...

thanks for tryin'.

But I thought you
wanted to be a cop.

Yeah, but I'm the Mickey
Mantle of the grease pits, right?

You said it yourself.
Yeah. You're the best.

I figure that, uh, hot
rods and, uh, draggin'

are gonna be around
a long time, you know?

Like the ducktail
and Buddy Holly.

I guess so. I still kind of wish
you were staying in school, though.

Hey, if I'm gonna drop
out, now's the best time.

They don't think I dropped
out 'cause I'm dumb.

They think I dropped
out 'cause I'm cool. Dig?

Well, I gotta get
back to the garage.

You can, uh, skip
on back to class, huh?

See ya.

(bell rings)

Hey, bookworm, have a good day.

Hey, don't forget your
white shirt for assembly.

Hmm.

(♪ Happy Days theme)

How was the Junior
Chipmunk meeting?

It was good today.
Janie Drysdale threw up.

Oh, may we talk about it later?

What kind of a day did you
have at school today, Richard?

He helped Fonzie cheat. Richard!

(Mr. Cunningham)
Is that true, Richard?

Because helping someone
else cheat is like, uh...

I know, Dad. It's just
like cheating yourself.

No, I didn't help
Fonzie on the test.

How come he didn't
break your face?

Fonzie wasn't mad at
all. We're still good friends.

Oh, I can't tell you how
good that makes me feel.

Oh, Howard, I'm going
to have to use the car

tomorrow to finish those
errands for the PTA.

Well, how am I
gonna get to work?

Just ask her about sex, and
she'll drive you anywhere.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means our little girl
is growing up, dear.

♪ Saturday, what a day

♪ Rockin' all week with you

♪ This day is ours
♪ These happy days

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine

♪ Happy days ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine goodbye, rain

♪ She's wearin' my
school ring on her chain

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can

♪ This day is ours

♪ Won't you be mine?
These happy days

♪ This day is ours

♪ Oh, please be
mine, oh, happy days

♪ Happy days ♪