Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 1, Episode 13 - Great Expectations - full transcript

The Cunninghams get an unexpected glimpse inside Bohemian counter-culture when Richie befriends a beatnik and brings her home for an evening with the family.

(Bill Haley and the Comets) ♪ One,
two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock

♪ Five, six, seven
o'clock, eight o'clock rock

♪ Nine, ten, eleven
o'clock, twelve o'clock rock

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ Put your glad
rags on, join me, hon

♪ We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes one

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock
strikes two, three, and four

♪ If the band slows
down, we'll yell for more



♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

(guitar solo)

♪ When the chimes
ring five, six, and seven

♪ We'll be right
in seventh heaven

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock strikes
twelve, we'll cool off then

♪ Start a-rockin'
'round the clock again

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight ♪



Hello, boy.

You were watching me for
quite a spell, weren't you?

Yes, I was.

You know, I... I like a man

who watches things go on around.

Shane, you want me
to tell you somethin'?

Let's do somethin'.

It's only the second
day of summer vacation,

and it's duller than school.

Hey, let's split. This
is where we came in.

I-I think I'm gonna stay

and see this one
part over again.

OK. Catch you later,
Rich. Good luck.

With what?

The girl in the fourth row.

Here, take my Jujubes.
She's wild about 'em.

(boy) I'll wrap it up
careful in the blanket again.

(Shane) That's a good boy.

Could I see it again?

You promised you'd
show me how to shoot.

Please?

All right, Johnny. Come on.

(horse neighs)

(cow moos)

Well, we got some
learnin' to do, huh?

Come on.

Stand right here.

Is this seat taken?

Is the universe
mindless and soulless?

It's taken. Oh, not yet.

Oh. Well, mind if I sit here?

You're free. Do what you want.

(sighs)

I'm Richie.

I'm Deidre.

How do you like the movie?

Great. It's got a lot
of daylight scenes.

Daylight scenes?

Yeah, like, it makes
it easier to read.

Oh. What are you reading?

Warts on my Soul.

Shh! Shh!

Oh, um, I'm not
familiar with that.

Oh, it's poetry, man.

Oh, that's nice.
I-I like poetry.

It gets you where you live.

Where do you live?

Here.

Here? Here... in
the movies here?

Yeah. Yeah, see, like,
my boyfriend and I split,

and so I was leaving town,
and my car broke down.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Why? I mean, it doesn't
matter where I am

or how I am... just that I am.

Yeah, I never really,
uh, thought of it that way.

Listen, I have this friend
who's a terrific mechanic.

His name is Fonzie.

Thanks.

Well, what do you think
about the car, Fonzie?

It's gonna have to be in
the shop a couple of days.

That's too bad,

because Deidre doesn't
have anyplace to stay.

Oh, that's OK, Richie.

Maybe I could just stay
here and sleep in the car.

Uh, you're gonna have
to ask the boss first,

and I don't think he's
gonna be too understanding.

Well, where is he?

He's in the office hiding
the keys to the restroom.

I can just go back
and stay in the movies.

Oh, no, no. That's ridiculous.

You'll come to my
house and have dinner,

and then we'll
decide what to do.

Oh, I wouldn't want to put
your folks out or anything.

You won't be
putting anybody out.

How was the Junior
Chipmunk meeting, dear?

Good. Barbara
Jo Allen ate a fly.

With beef at 68 cents a
pound, I can't blame her.

We were learning how
to live in the wilderness.

Barbara Jo always takes
things really seriously.

(Richie) Hi, Mom, Dad.

Hi, dear. You're a little late.

Sorry. Uh, could I have
a friend over for dinner?

Certainly. Your friends
are always welcome here.

Good. I was hoping
you'd say that.

I hope it's not Potsie.

It's not Potsie.

Mom, Dad, this is Deidre.

Like, hi.

How do you do?

Won't you sit down and join us?

Thank you.

I'd like to wash the world's
impurity and insincerity

from my hands.

Uh, Joanie, would you
kindly show our guest

where we keep our hands sincere?

What?

Show her where the bathroom is.

Oh.

Oh, this is really nice of you.

But I think I ought to tell
you I only eat vegetables.

It's against my principles
to eat murdered animals.

I think she's a beatnik.

You don't say.

I'm pretty sure.

Richard, I was not expecting you

to bring home a stray beatnik.

Her name is Deidre, Dad.

It's just that when you're
expecting a "Potsie,"

a "Deidre" can
be quite a surprise.

I met her in the movies. She was reading
me poetry during the daylight scenes.

Oh, well, that's different.

I thought maybe
she was just a pickup.

She is still a beatnik!

I am not thrilled at having
a beatnik in my house!

Dad!

Shh!

What?

She's just a girl who
dresses differently

and reads poetry.

I know what beatniks are...

I read an article about 'em
in the Saturday Evening Post.

Well, Howard, she seems
like a nice enough girl.

I mean, we can feed her.

She doesn't want our food.

And I don't like someone
calling my dinner

a-a murdered animal.

Dad, she has nowhere to go.

Her car broke down.

She could stay at one
of her friends' pads.

I read that article,
too, Howard.

(sighs) OK.

Deidre can stay, but
she's your responsibility.

You keep an eye on her.

And I don't want any
of that beatnik stuff

during dinner.

Beatnik stuff?

You know... poetry
reading, bongo playing,

espresso drinking.

She's gonna drink milk
just like everybody else.

I'll keep an eye on her, Dad.

And, Richard, I don't
want to see her smoking

any of those funny cigarettes.

Funny cigarettes?

Reefers, dear.

You know, I think I'm
gonna cancel our subscription

to the Saturday Evening Post.

Oh, Howard.

I don't think she's a real
beatnik... she uses soap.

Hey, folks, that's
a terrific bathroom!

Wow! It ought to be in a poem!

A poem, huh?

Would you please pass
the roast beef, Deidre?

Sure.

She fainted!

OK! So she doesn't have
to pass the roast beef!

Hi!

Hi.

Hey, where am I?

My brother's room.

Hey, I thought I'd died

and heaven had been taken
over by the Boston Celtics.

Would you like another
cold compress, dear?

Oh, no, thank you.
I feel much better.

Oh, good. Then I'll go
take care of Howard now.

His hands are shaking!

Maybe he needs a cold compress.

No, I think he needs
a cold bourbon.

Well, I'm glad
you're feeling better.

Oh, thanks.

Deidre? I-I was wondering
if you would do me a favor.

Sure.

Oh. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Well, you see, um...
I fool around a little...

I feel better, but
not that much better.

No. I mean, I
write a little poetry,

and I was wondering...
if you'd read some of it

a-and tell me
what you think of it.

Sure.

Hey... Lay one on me!

Well, I just happen
to have one with me.

I jotted down a few lines

while we were
waiting at the garage.

(clears throat)

"I dreamed of her before we met,

"but never did I ponder

"that fate would
open up the door

"and into my life she'd wander.

"For once I looked
into her eyes,

"I knew I'd found my purpose...

"to hold our memories in time

and hope someday
she'll... call me up."

You see, I could never
find a rhyme for "purpose."

Oh, wow! I like that!

I mean, that's
really professional.

Good enough to be published?

It's better than that.

It's good enough to
read in a coffeehouse.

But it's not even finished yet.

Don't worry about it.

It took my boyfriend
Lawrence two weeks

to find a rhyme for "purple."

And he's a good poet?

Oh, he's good...

only he never sold anything.

That's how come he
has to play the bongos.

Oh, that's too bad.

Hey, it's OK.

Well... well, listen,

we'd better get you some
food before you faint again.

Oh, don't worry
about it, Richie.

I didn't faint 'cause
I was hungry.

You're sick?

No, not exactly sick.

Good.

Just a little pregnant.

(♪ saxophone music)

Uh, Fonzie, could I
talk to you for a minute?

Can't you see I'm tryin'
to make time with a chick?

Who with?

Charmaine... chick
across the room.

(giggles)

By just staring at her?

Hey, don't you know anything?

It's called "eye contact."

You stare at a chick,
and pretty soon... bingo.

Works every time if
you got the talent...

and I got the talent.

(giggles)

Well, I just have to
ask you one question.

Yeah, well, ask real quiet,

'cause you're disturbin' my aim.

If you were a bongo player,
where would you hang out?

With Desi Arnaz.

No. If you were a
beatnik bongo player?

The Purple Ego.

Where is that?

Near the college,
next door to the library.

And bing-o.

Oh, right. Bingo!

(Potsie) Hey,
Rich, come on over!

Ask Rich. He'll know.

He always knows
about these things.

Yeah, Rich'll know.

I gotta get down
to The Purple Ego.

That's a beatnik joint.

Hey, we'll go with you.

No, wait a minute. I'm
traveling alone tonight.

You're going out with a beatnik?

Hey, I heard
they're really wild.

No, they're not.

I read On the Road.
Sexy, really sexy.

Remember that chapter
where Jack Kerouac...

They're not what you think.
They're sort of intellectuals.

Sexy intellectuals.
Come on, let's go.

I'm going alone!

Touchy, very touchy.

What can you do?
He wants to be alone.

Right. We'll wait 10 minutes,
and then we'll follow him.

Hey, little bird... (man
pounds on bongos)

..with your nose pressed up
against the bakery window...

there are no jelly
donuts for you today...

only death.

(fingers snapping)

Pardon me, a-are you Lawrence?

I was when I came in here,

but, uh, who knows who
I'll be when I get home.

Well... I just
wanted to talk to you

about Deidre and her problem.

What problem's that, man?

Well, sh-she faints a lot.

Like, she's sick?

No, like, you're
gonna be a daddy-o.

♪ Mona Lisa, Mona
Lisa, Mona Lisa...

Come on, Dad.
Throw out the dice.

I keep sitting like this,

I'm more likely to
throw out a disk.

Howard, we decided
to play your game

if we sit Deidre's way.

Uh-oh.

Well, Deidre, with,
uh, one hotel...

That's $250 I owe you.

Oh, hey, Mr. Cunningham,

like, I can't take your bread.

Wow, you've been so nice.

Well, I know you're
feeling better, Deidre,

but do you think that's wise -

mixing jelly beans
and egg salad so soon?

Well, you know, I can't help it.

It's really weird.

I have had a craving

for a jelly bean and
egg salad sandwich

ever since I got pregnant.

Marion!

(woman) Hey, little girl,
with your nose pressed up...

I can't see nothing
through these glasses.

Do you see Richie?

Not unless he grew a beard.

Come on. Act cool.

(fingers snapping)

What'll ya have?

Oh, hey, like,

we just blew in to
make the scene.

Like, ya can't have
lime rickey at this scene.

Marsha?

Yeah, it's me, but if you
make fun of my clothes,

you get guitar picks
in your espresso.

What are ya doin' here?

Moonlighting. I don't
make enough at Arnold's

to keep me in chewing gum!

Ya get good tips here?

Not good but interesting...

Tonight I got, uh, two
poems, half a bongo

and a discount coupon
to have my ears pierced.

Now, what'll ya have?

Oh, uh, espresso,
made with love.

Espresso we got.

You want love, go
home to your teddy bear.

Man, they get some
weirdoes in here, don't they?

Yeah. Check her out.

Hey, little bird,

with your beak pressed up
against the pet-store window...

there is no bird
seed for you today...

only death.

You think we can pick
up any chicks in here?

If we do, I'm not going
window shopping with them.

Hi, Dad.

Another one.

Dad, where's Deidre?

Upstairs.

Uh, first door on your left.

Hey, nice pad.

Richard, can I talk
to you for a minute?

Right. I-I'll be up in a second.

Richard, I don't know

whether this is a rescue
mission or a house.

Joanie's thinking about
becoming a bongo player,

and my legs are stiff
from sitting like a pretzel,

and your mother's out
buying some more jelly beans

for a pregnant beatnik!

Oh, you found out about that.

That's good. Don't worry.

That's her boyfriend,
and he's gonna marry her.

Oh, that's very noble of him!

Maybe we should give him
a ticker-tape parade, huh?!

I just did what I
thought was right!

Richard, when
are you gonna learn

that you can't bring home
every stray you meet?!

He has a name, too,
you know. It's Lawrence!

OK! Lawrence!
Lawrence and Deidre!

Now, Howard and Marion

would like them
both out of the house!

Dad, you don't understand!

You're not even
trying to understand!

You probably wouldn't
even like my poetry.

What's that supposed to mean?!

You see?! You don't understand!

You still think I'm a kid!

Are you and Richie
having a fight?

No, we're not having a fight!
We're having a discussion!

I wonder who won.

"I knew I'd found my purpose.

"To hold our memories in time

and hope someday
she'll call me up."

I like that. It just
lacks one thing.

I know, I know. A
rhyme for "purpose."

Yeah, that's a tough one.

Almost as bad as purple.

But do you know
what's really missing?

Life.

Life?

Oh, yeah, man.

You know what
life's all about? Life.

That's what life's all about.

Hey, listen to him, Richie.

He makes sense.

Well, yeah, but I
have a life right here.

This, this, this is a life?

You can't write about
love and malt shops.

You'll end up like
Bernie Polaski.

He's a poet?

He thinks so,

but he only writes for
Humpty Dumpty magazine.

What Lawrence is trying to say

is that there's a
whole world out there.

Yeah. There's poverty,
disease, war, pestilence.

Oh, man, it's so beautiful!

Have you ever been
away from home?

You kiddin'?

I've been to summer camp.

A-And I went with the
church choir to Ann Arbor.

He's living Bernie
Polaski's life.

We're splitting
tomorrow morning.

Why don't you come with us?

Where are you going?

Who knows? Wherever
the wind takes us...

The Left Bank, Morocco, Newark!

Yeah, Newark.

Well, I guess we better cut out.

Richie, if you want
to come with us,

we'll be at the garage at 7:30.

Maybe I'll see you
again... maybe tomorrow.

Thanks for everything.

(dog barks)

(sighs)

How can I learn about life when
I'm surrounded with kid stuff?

Mom, Dad, I have to talk to you.

Oh, Howard, get
up. We overslept.

(sleepily) Hmm? What, again?

What time is it?

I'll make the coffee.
You get dressed.

You don't want
to be late for work.

Marion, it's still dark.

And you know why?

Because it's always dark
at 3:00 in the morning.

Oh, oh, Richard,
what is it, dear?

I've made a decision.

Oh, that's nice. A
little late but nice.

Mom, Dad, I'm going
on the road to mature.

There comes a time when a
person outgrows his parents,

and he has to go
out into the world

and broaden his horizons.

I'm leaving in the morning
with Deidre and her friends

to search for life.

I'll see you in August.

Howard! Richie's gone.

He probably went out for
an early swim with Potsie.

No, he's run away.
He left a note.

"Dear Mom and Dad, I
meant what I said last night.

"Goodbye. Love, Richie.
P.S. If Arlene calls,

"tell her I'm sorry, and she
should only make one sandwich

for the picnic. Richie."

What did he say last night?

I'm not sure.

He either said he's going on
the road with those beatniks

or he's going to make coffee.

You said the part
about making coffee.

Then he must have said
the part about running away.

Oh, he's run away.

Well, I'm goin' on the road.

Hey, good. Have a nice trip.

What do you mean?

Lawrence and I
are getting married.

We're taking the bus
to my father's dairy farm.

You mean the trip's off?

Oh, no. We gave them the car,

so you can still go.

(phone rings)

Hey, take care.

I found an ending to your poem.

Huh?

To your poem.

"For once I looked
into her eyes,

"I knew I'd found my purpose.

"To hold our memories in time,

for time cannot usurp us."

Oh, yeah, yeah, th-that's good.

Thank you.

Yeah, well, may the winds

blow our paths
together again sometime.

Hey, Fonzie.

Well, guess I'm gonna
be taking off now.

You know... travel
around, learn about life.

I mean, it can't hurt
to go out on the road,

see new things, meet new people,

see what life is about.

Yep, I'm gonna
do some travelin'...

Just go... out on the old road.

Want me to drive you home?

No, I think I'll walk.

Dad!

Morning, Richard.

I guess you got my note.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I, uh,

I read it at breakfast
this morning

instead of the newspaper.

Well, don't worry,
because I'm not going.

Oh, I wasn't worried.

No, I-I came down
here because, uh...

see who's winning the gas war.

You know, like some
people like to follow baseball,

I like to follow gas wars.

Can I, uh, give you a lift home?

Dad, remember the last
time I ran away from home?

You wouldn't let me keep
my snake in the house.

You were 10.

9.

Got as far as the dime store.

The drug store. Boy, you
really yelled at me then.

Well, then, I was right.

I mean, who wants
a snake in his house?

But, uh, Richard, I-I think
I was wrong last night.

I didn't understand.

I didn't understand
because I didn't listen to you.

Dad, I think you understand me

a lot better than
I thought you did.

Well, I'm learning,
Richard, I'm learning.

But, Dad,

next summer, I may go
out on the road, though.

Oh. Well, maybe
I'll go with you.

♪ Hello, sunshine goodbye, rain

♪ She's wearin' my
school ring on her chain

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can

♪ This day is ours
♪ Won't you be mine?

♪ These happy days
♪ This day is ours

♪ Oh, please be
mine ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ Happy days ♪