Hap and Leonard (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - T-Bone Mambo - full transcript

Leonard locates Bacon, a local diner cook, to find out more information about Florida's disappearance. Hap is arrested by Officer Reynolds and taken to meet the local Klan chief, Truman Brown.

Previously on Hap and Leonard:

She was here. Almost
did a deal with her

and her client Bobby Joe Soothe.

They found Bobby Joe hanging
off the Grovetown bridge.

I'm the law and you
best remember that.

- How long was she here?
- One night.

I ain't sayin' ♪♪♪

Enjoy Sirs.

I made it special for you boys.


All right. It's Christmas night.

Spike that egg nog
and grab your wife,

'cause there's trouble brewin'.

♪ 'Twas the night
before Christmas ♪

♪ When all through the house ♪

♪ Not a creature was stirring ♪

♪ Not even a mouse ♪

♪ My baby came home ♪

♪ I asked her where she was ♪

♪ She grinned and said
that she was out ♪

♪ With ho-ho Santa Claus ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, there's
trouble brewin' now ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, yeah, well,
there's trouble brewin' now ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, yeah ♪

♪ The snow is white ♪

♪ So crisp and white ♪

♪ There's trouble brewin' ♪

♪ Trouble brewin' tonight ♪

♪ Half-past 12:00 ♪

♪ I'm feelin' low ♪

♪ I'm waiting for this cat ♪

♪ That set my baby's
heart a-glow ♪

♪ From what I hear ♪

♪ He's dressed in red ♪

♪ He's a-crawling
down my chimney ♪

♪ That's what my baby said ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, there's
trouble brewin' now ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, yeah, well,
there's trouble brewin' now ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, yeah ♪

♪ He don't know ♪



S03E03 The T-Bone Mambo




Oh, I thought I lost you.

You snore.

I'm sorry.



Could be worse.

No, it couldn't.

It really couldn't.

I came to find you.

I know.

I knew you would.



I want you back, Florida.

And I don't just
mean to LaBorde.


Don't... Shh.


Don't say it.


Why are you still holding on?


You have to help me.


Oh, God!

Oh, God, don't be dead, Florida.

Oh, God.

You seen Leonard?

Saw him this morning.

Said to tell you he's
going to the Southside.

Said not to even
try to follow him.

Said the generator's on
the fritz all night.

Figured, on account of all
the rain we've been havin'.

So you brought a hammer?

To fix generator?

And gas.

Sometimes water gets
in the fuel tank.

Water and gas don't mix.

You ever been fishing
or to a marina?

You know how the gas greases up
all along the top of the water

like some kind of swirlin'-ass
rainbow daydream...

- where you got your eyes wide open
- Tim.

- And you're staring at the...
- Tim!

- Sky.
- Sorry.

Lack of company gets
me downright gabby.

You fix my car yet?



I'm gonna need a loaner then.

Okay. Sure. I can fix you up.





Where's your boyfriend?

Good to know you hold
me in such high esteem.

To think that Leonard
might be my type.


Yes! Finally!


Talkin' to you.

You know that old black man
that work at the diner?

- Y'all seen him?
- Yes, sir.

You know where I can find him?

I know where he at right now!

Can you take me to him?

Okay. Follow me 'cause
I know where he at.

- I do, too.
- No, you don't!

Yes, I do!

♪ Get out the
dragnet for Jesus ♪

♪ Get out the dragnet for God ♪

- ♪ I used to be His child ♪
- Come on!

♪ But I slipped along the way ♪

♪ Get out the dragnet for God ♪

♪ Get out the
dragnet for Jesus ♪

Hurry up!

♪ My soul needs Him
on the road I trod ♪

- ♪ I want to be right ♪ - Run!

♪ And pleasing in His sight ♪

♪ Get out the dragnet for God ♪

♪ Get out the
dragnet for Jesus ♪

- Hey! Wait up for us!
- Where are you guys going?

- We're going to find Bacon!
- Who this guy?

♪ You know that
Satan has got me ♪

♪ And holdin' me fair ♪

♪ Get out the dragnet for God ♪

♪ I call them both together ♪

♪ And I made them bow
down in prayer ♪

♪ I said all you've
got to do is ♪

♪ all Him from your heart ♪

♪ He'll hear you
anytime and anywhere ♪

♪ Get out the
dragnet for Jesus ♪

♪ Get out the dragnet for God ♪

♪ Satan has got me,
holdin' me fair ♪

Bacon in there.

- ♪ Get out the dragnet for God ♪
- Should be.

I don't suppose you got any
news about Florida Grange.


But then...

I am busy.

Giving out parking tickets.

You on some kind of quota?

You got some attitude
on you this morning.

I didn't sleep too
good last night.

How long you planning
on staying here?

Wait. R-Remind me, are
you Collins or Pine?

Collins, and that depends.

On what?

A lot of things, Officer, uh...


You like what you see?

You got a nice cover.

I don't know if I want
to read the book.

How about just reading
the synopsis?

I would if I could, but

I can't. So I won't.

I don't have my glasses.


You know, in Alaska,

it is legal for law
enforcement officers

to have sexual contact

with individuals
under investigation.


Am I?

Under investigation?

You could be.



Somethin' goin' on down there.


Don't pay no attention to him.

Son of a bitch got
a mind of his own.


Let's go.


Why do I have the feeling
we're not in Kansas anymore?

'Cause we're in East Texas.

And Mr. Brown wants to meet you.

Have fun.

I think I liked you more
before I got to know you.

You don't know me.

♪ Gimme a "ho" if you got
your funky bus fare ♪

♪ Ho, ho, ho ♪

♪ There's a double Dutch bus
coming down the street ♪

♪ Moving pretty fast so
kinda shuffle your feet ♪

♪ Get on the bus,
pay your fare ♪

♪ Then tell the driver ♪

♪ That you're going to a
double Dutch affair ♪

♪ Fe, fi, fo, fum ♪

♪ Well, I'll be darned,
here it comes ♪

♪ The double Dutch bus
is on the street ♪

♪ You better get off the
curb, move your feet ♪

- ♪ Bus fare ♪ - Boss.

Well, we was just, uh, just a
little "Double Dutch Bus."


♪ When I go to work, I
got to go downtown ♪

♪ Now I've missed my train,
that's a darn shame ♪

♪ When I'm running late,
no sleep's to blame ♪

♪ If you've got a wife,
you know I'm right ♪

♪ You got a special man?
Well, I can understand ♪

♪ Uptown, downtown ♪

♪ Everybody's getting down ♪


The day they gave me that...

I carried Doshan two and
a half miles on my back.

Talked Brady down

when he stepped on that
snake in the rice paddy.

Kept their eyes up.

Their minds right.

Got all eight of those
men back to the LZ.

Hell, the only difference between
livin' and dyin' that day...

was me.

I remember.

But ain't me no more, brother.

The man you was then...

ain't this man.

♪ Will you you move on down
to the Jordan Stream ♪

♪ And will you
shout Hallelujah ♪

♪ I done done ♪

♪ Will you shout Hallelujah ♪

♪ I done done ♪

♪ Will you shout Hallelujah ♪

♪ Done done my duty ♪

♪ Got on my travelin' shoes ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Hello. Can we help you?

You illiterate, or
you just can't read?

What's the difference?

Context, boy.

I got your context right here.

Then why's your black
ass still here?

I'm here on account of I
ain't found my friend yet.


Yeah, getting yourself killed

ain't gonna change what
already happened to her.

Ol' Uncle Tom's scared
to pull a scab, huh?

- Oh, shh.
- What the hell?

Get off of me. Get off of me!

Uncle Tom, bullshit.

I didn't go up and down
Italy shooting Nazis,

come back as an old man,

and have somebody callin'
me names like Uncle Tom.

Well, I didn't serve in Nam
killing all them gooks

so that you can come back and cook
breakfast for the Klan, neither.

Why does it always
have to be a fight

in order to solve a problem?

Son, I learned a long time ago

you can solve more problems
without pulling the trigger.

Then if what you said is true,

if something happened
to Florida, she dead,

somebody gonna pay.

All right. You wanna die,

you die for something.

One of them Klan boys put
a bullet in your head,

now you've died

for nothing.

You gave ol' Boone
and Grady there

a pretty good
drubbing yesterday.

Hard to look good in
them Christmas pictures

with all them bruises
you put on them.

They had it coming.

Well, I know these
two pretty well,

and you might be right.


an apology'd go a long way.

As a first step.

What's the second step?

Paying for their kindergarten?

We got a real nice town
here with real nice people.

Last thing we need is
you comin' down here,

creatin' all sorts of problems.

I'm just down here
lookin' for my friend.

I don't suppose any
of you inbreds

know where I might find her?

Watch your back.

That girl you're looking for
ruffled a lot of feathers.

That girl is a lawyer.

And that's what they do.

Even lady lawyers.

Even black lady lawyers.

You know, I'll be
the first to admit

some of this we
brought on ourselves.

To begin with,

we might should've decided
to pick our own cotton.

If I want to live
around Negroes,

I'd move to Africa.

This here is America.

It's just a hunch,

but I'm guessing you never
asked an American Indian

how they might feel about that.

Oh, God put the white man
in charge for a reason.

But I guess you wouldn't
know anything about that.

You probably haven't read
your Bible in a while.

You pretend you don't know
what I'm talking about,

but watch the news.

Niggers are everywhere.

In sports, music, space...

hell, even in Congress.

Anywhere there's a white
man's job to be had,

you do-gooders want
to give it to them.

You are an ugly man

with ugly ideas

and no amount of hiding
behind that Bible of yours

is gonna change that.

These people actually
think they deserve

to eat, sleep, shit,
and shop where we do.

Now, you believe that?

I can't believe you don't.

Tell you what.

It's Christmas

and, uh, I'm feeling generous.

So I'll pay for
Boone's truck there.

But you just get that
nigger out of here

before something happens
I can't take back.

You know, hey, while
I'm here and...

and you're there...

maybe you can enlighten
something for me.

What is it you people want, hmm?

What does your world look like?

It's white.

But what is it you want?


I know you can tear shit down.

What is it you intend to build?

I'd just be wasting my breath.

You have no idea, do you?

You're still here tomorrow,

don't say I didn't warn you.


Can I help you, sir?

Excuse me. You can't
go back there.

What do you think you're doing?

Well, you must be
hard of hearing.

I thought I told you to pack
up lover boy and scram.

I think Truman Brown,

or his people...

I think they killed
Bobby Joe Soothe.

And I think when
Florida came down here

and started diggin' that up,

I think they killed her, too.

What makes you think I give a
good goddamn what you think?

I drove that girl to the city
limits myself Christmas Eve day.

They got a chipper out there.

They're a tree farm.

Oh, they can disappear people,

and don't tell me they can't.

There's the door.

Close it behind you when
you get out of here.

I got this figured
one of two ways.

You're part of it.

You and your people.
Officer Reynolds there.

Part of the murder and
part of the cover-up.


you're stupid and lazy

and just racist enough
to turn the other way.

Oh, I see. Okay.

You think you're
better than me, huh?

I get it, you probably think
you're smarter than me, too.

Small-town cop with
a ruptured turnip.

Well, let me tell
you somethin', boy.

I do my job, and I am
the opposite of lazy!

Then why the hell

have you done nothing...

nothing! to help me
find Florida Grange?

I already told you she
ain't here no more,

and there's no more to it!

She ain't anywhere no more!

This is what I'm sayin'!


I tell you what, why don't you
head on over to Southside?

You'll find your lawyer
friend over there

holed up with some young buck,
cornholin' like they do.

You wouldn't say that
if you knew her.

So, Sneed was right about
you and the lawyer.

And some detective named Hanson.

Foxes tend to go to the ground

when the hounds are after them, Mr.

Your girlfriend will show up
when she wants to be found,

but not before.



How old?

How old is dead?

I'm sorry.

Get out.

Are you feeling out of shape?

Has the flame gone out
of your love life?

Do you feel like you're carrying

two tubs of rinse in the back...

Need a lift, stranger?


That girl sure does get around.

Her name's Belinda.


She disappeared about
five years ago.

She was about 11 then.

She was gone for months, and
everybody thought she was dead.

Then one day,

she just walked out
of the Thicket,

skinny but alive.

What happened to her?

Nobody knows.

I'm convinced there ain't nothin'
that goes on in Grovetown

that girl don't know about.

In that case, would you mind
if I asked her a few questions

about the friend
I'm lookin' for?

You can ask, but

whatever she knows is
gonna die with her.


Girl ain't uttered a word since
she came out of them woods.

Not a "Hey," or a
"How you doin'?"


Oh. Hey.

I'm glad to see you're not dead.

You smell dead.

Yeah. I had a close encounter

with the head of the
Klan down here.

He told me to get you out of
here or there'd be hell to pay.

And what did you say?

I told him to go fuck himself.


- You seen Cantuck?
- Yeah.

He said he took Florida
to the edge of town,

watched her drive away himself.

In other words, she
ain't his problem.


What about you?

You found the cook?

Found him at church.

- His name is Bacon.
- You know,

that is one thing...

I will never understand,

is why black folks
still believe,

given what's happening.

Given what's always
been happening.

See, the church
is the only thing

the white man won't take
from the black man.

You understand that?

I try.

Bacon's seen her

at Blind Tillie's.


Who around here do you think
might want to hurt him?

Says she was asking questions
about Bobby Joe Soothe.

When was that?

Christmas Eve night.

- Christmas Eve night?
- That's what he said.

Cantuck said she left
Christmas Eve day.

Someone's lying.

Hap, it's Grovetown.
Someone always lyin'.

Blind Tillie's?

Let's go.

I got to find a phone.

I'll call Bacon, tell
him to meet us there.


Got her done. Filled the tank.

She's good to go.

You boys need anything
else before you take off?

- Who said we was takin' off?
- Snacks? Jujubes?

- I just figured...
- Well, you figured wrong.

Uh, okay. You sure y'all don't
want to just go on and go?

Boy, look at me.

Is the Pope black?

Uh, well... What he means is,

does the Pope shit in the woods?

Well, I can't rightly say I
ever thought about that.

There you go. Now we sure.







You're lucky my dogs
aren't out, Chief.

Goddamn it, Truman.

You like to give
me a heart attack.

What can I do for you?

Looking into the disappearance
of that lawyer,

the one you run in
with at Maude's.

You lookin' for a suspect...

killer, or somebody to blame?

I'm the Chief of the
goddamn Police Department.

This is my town.

I'm the one who stays awake at
night shit happens around here,

so you do not mess with me.

Niggers missing and shit. That's
what we're talking about?

That gal from LaBorde,

she's an officer of the court.

She don't exist in a
vacuum, you dimwit.

Folks are gonna come
looking for her.

Folks already come
lookin' for her.

What's that got to do with me?

You ain't above the law,
is what I'm saying.

Turn the lights out when
you're done, Chief.


When I was in Saigon,

I used to hang out at a club
that remind me of this place.

You ever think about dyin', Hap?

I try not to.


Bobby Joe dead.


Florida dead, too.


What's your point?

Maybe Sonny Knox was right.

Maybe the curse is
real, and we next.

Leonard, Leonard, Leonard.

The curse ain't real.

That's the same thing
you said about mojo.


I ain't leaving
till we find her.

Boy, you sure is holdin'
on tight to somethin'.

You brought him?

His car.

You see that sign over there?

"No Honkies Allowed."

You bring me out a couple
of hard-boiled eggs

and a bag of chips,

and I'll watch over
your car, too.


♪ Backwater blues ♪

♪ The main thing ♪

♪ Causing trouble
in the lowlands ♪

♪ Oh, it brings pain to a man ♪


Where'd you get this?

It belongs to a friend of mine.

You seen her?

You know where she is?









- What the hell, man?
- I'm sorry. I thought it someone else.

Just be cool.


What the hell is wrong with you?

I thought it was Florida.


Look, I'ma tell you
this as your friend.

You better get your head right.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

I remember that girl.

Florida her name. Mm.

She was interested
in Bobby Joe Soothe.

Asked all kinds of
questions about him.

Let's see, this was...

When was this, Cleavon?

Christmas Eve.

Mm. My night off.

Which is why I was
none too happy

to be answering her questions.

Miss Tillie.

Florida kin to me.

You ain't got not idea
where she might could be?

What do I look like to you, 911?

Cleavon, do I look like 911?

No, ma'am.

See, uh, we just thought...

You thought what, white boy?

We just thought that maybe, uh,

you hear things.

- I'ma tell you...
- Mm-hmm.

Just like I told her.

I do hear things.

But there's a difference between
what I hear and what I know.

And what I know

is you ask too many
questions about the dead,

you like to join 'em.


Well, what about you, Cleavon?

Did you hear anything

that we might want to
know something about?

- That girl...
- Mm-hmm.

Was lookin' for them
Bobby Joe tapes.

You find who got them tapes,

you just might find that girl.

Well, did Florida
at least tell you

who she thought might have hung
Bobby Joe over the bridge?

You think it could have been
someone from the Southside?

Whatever misfortune

visits itself upon your friend,

it ain't come from this
side of the tracks.

You go on back over
there to Grovetown.

Pull that curtain
back just a smidgeon,

and you'll see evil.

Look behind there.

That's where your girl be.

All right.



Uh, hey.

I got given this.

Belonged to Florida.

From who?

This weird young girl, Belinda.

Did she say where Florida was?

No. She don't talk.

No, she... she never
spoke a word for years.

How you know all of that?

Because people talk
to me, Leonard.

Look what happened back
at Blind Tillie's.

She took one look at me,
couldn't stop talking.

Friendly face, I guess.

We have to find this girl, Hap.

No, I told you, she don't talk.

No, I know she don't talk,
but maybe she write.

- You ever think of that?
- Yeah.

See, that... that is why you
and me make such a great team.

I'm the pretty one, and
you're the smart one.

Oh, no, no. I'm the
pretty and the smart one.

You just...

What the...

- What the hell was that?
- I don't know!

Oh, shit! Shit! I told
you we was cursed.

There ain't no goddamn curse!

- Start the car!
- I'm trying!

- Come on!
- I'm trying!

Move! Get out! Get out!

Jesus Christ!

- Run!
- We got to get out! Get out!

I told you we was cursed!



Think we missed 'em, boss.


Well, life's not fair, boys.

But God is always faithful.

They're in the Thicket now.