Hannah Montana (2006–2011): Season 3, Episode 5 - Killing Me Softly with His Height - full transcript

Dad's going to love the new hairdryer I got him.
Three temperatures, four speeds, and extra long cord for that hard to reach back hair.
Your Dad blow dries his back hair?
My mornings are not pretty.
- Oh and - did I mention it comes with a free comb?- Cool.
What are you getting Jackson?
I was thinking a comb.
- Hey, who's the hottie with Oliver ... - Dibs!
Wait!
That's not fair! You know the rules.
No buzzing until I complete a question!
Sorry honey. But when they're cute there are no rules.
Hey, now you can't give it to Jackson.
Sure I can!
Hey! Oliver, how you doing? Get some Christmas shopping done?
- You know, I actually got my Mom - --- Yeah,She'll love it.
You are?
Extremely happy I didn't order this with onions. I'm Connor.
I'm Miley.
I'm Lily, but she buzzed in early.
- Again? - Tell me about it.
So, ar, who you shopping for?
Your mom... your dad... your... girlfriend?
No, I'm just grabbing a bite before work. I have a part time job here at the mall.
Oh cool! But if you were shopping for your mom, your dad and your girlfriend
and you already got your mum and dad something would you still be shopping?
It depends. Anything in this mall you might be interested in?
I've got my eye on something.
Ar, excuse me, I'm just going to head over to Bed, Bath and Barfbag!
Hey guys!
Hey Sofie.
Hey Oliver. Um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go catch a movie tonight?
Ar, sorry Sofie, I'm going out of town. Tonight.
Yeah, I'm doing some roady work for this cool new band - ar... Restrooms this way.
Oh, OK, well maybe next time?
Sure. Will do that. We'll go next time.
The restrooms this way? Who's there opening act, the "place trays here"?
OK, Lily, I can't go out with her. I mean, she's cute, but
did you see the size of her feet?
You are turning her down because of one, little physical thing?
Little? Miley, Big Foot called her last week to borrow a pair of her slippers!
Oh!
Oh.
Dude, I'm with Miley on this one. That's cold.
Yeah! And you're being totally shallow.
Besides, she was kind of cute.
Cute, she wasn't cute! Did you see the size of her feet?
You know... you're funny.
Yeah. That's what I was going for.
Hey, Miley, would you want to go to the holiday carnival with me tonight?
I'd love to.
So I'll meet you there?
Yeah... I will.
See! I'm going to the carnival with someone totally nice.
Something you would be doing if you weren't so judgmental!
Yeah face it Oliver, Miley's just the bigger person.
Later guys.
Sweet Niblets! I got a date with a Sweet Niblet!
HANNAH MONTANAµÚÈý¼¾µÚ5¼¯
×ÖÄ»ÖÆ×÷£ºSpike Dai
- Well, well, well. - Don't!
Now Miley, there's no reason to be 'short-tempered'.
Oliver. Cut it out! Sure she was surprised, but she's not gonna'
What I'm saying is, she can rise above... You try it, it's harder than you think!
I was a little caught off guard.
See I, unlike you, can pass the difference in our... various altitudes.
Various altitudes? Miley, come on, face it.
You're as shallow as I am. But the diffrence is, I admit it.
For instance
weird headline
too many freckles!
Oh, here we go, hey Baby, how you doing?
Back off, helmet hair.
Shallow! and I respect that.
Well I don't. Me and Connor are going to have a great time tonight because...
Good things come in small packages?
OK, look, I'm sorry, it's a bad hobit... habit!
That one was an accident.
Hmm... got a little bit of a tilt there, buddy.
Oh
Oh, dang flab it!
There. Straight as an arrow.
Dad, hey Dad!
Cut the tree too short again?
No! Don't be silly.
Just soaring up some firewood, that's all.
We don't have a fireplace.
It's always the negative with you, isn't it!
Well not today! Because I just got back from the college of my dreams!
State University of Santa Barbra!
Amazing beaches, beautiful babes and a party on every block.
- How are the classes? - The what?
The classes. You did look into the classes, right?
Oh yeah... lots of them.
They all had big blackboards and other... educational learning stuff.
Jackson. Santa Barbra's a great school son, but it's not all that easy to get into.
I know, but I've got it all figured out.
See, I may not have the greatest grades, but I only need one thing to get myself through the door.
Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility?
Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility? No!
A letter of reccommendation.
Son, I don't want to be the mouldy cheese in your refrigerator of hope...
but, where are you going to find somebody to write you that letter?
Right there. Right next to where it says Major Contribution made by Influential .
That looks just like...
Not bad, Stewart.
But you're going to have to do a lot more than this if you want to get a letter of reccomendation out of me.
Yes Mr. Dontzig... very good Mr. Dontzig... anything you say... Mr. Dontzig!
Hey, what's going on back there? I've lost that gloving feeling!
'lovin feeling! Laugh at my jokes!
Yes Mr. Dontzig, very funny Mr. Dontzig, as you wish Mr. Dontzig...
Oh. Now the toenails are softened up nicely. Get the clippers!
so...how do you know oliver?
eh we met in little league
you have your own league?
oh you mean baseball!
i get it now, it went right over my head
are you going to like, hog the whole thing?
Yes!
excuse me,my son is afraid to ride alone and i'm too big to fit on a train
Would you mind riding with him?
sure of course
- 1 sec,i'll be right back - alright
Did you have to be taller than him?
hey Miley,hey Connor,my mistake
Oliver stop it
yeah go ahead,have your fun
but connor and i are having an awsesome time
hey guys hey
i had a really great time tonight
thanks,so did i and um... thank you so much for the drawing of us
are,are you sure you don't wanna keep it?
uh,no no,it's for you, a little reminder of our first date
sure is
see you around
wait,before you go...
i'm sorry,this isn't working
you're right,you're right
- i'm really happy that you understand... - wait here you go
that should do it,i'm just gonna jump on it real quick and support on your shoulders
yeah no,still not working, i'm sorry Connor but
hey,you have brown eyes, i never noticed it
um...this can't happen I'm just not ready...I'm sorry.
you don't wanna kiss me cause i'm short
no!no no no,that's not it at all,
no,it just,i haven't done my lip exercise yet
you know got to get them all warmed up
you don't wanna kiss that, come on, look
you know i thought you were different
i am different
no you're not,good night Miley
hey Mile,and you must be Connor!
I'd have bought you something to eat but obviously you're stuffed
stuffed,that's bunny funny
it's simple lilly,i went out with him realized there was no spark and,that was it!end of story
right,and you know if it make you feel any better,you can always set him up with bubblehead hannah
if you are the short guy, i'll be your girlfriend
it is not because he's short,and i refuse to feel bad because i'm not attracted to him
- because he's short - no because he has brown eyes!
- you love brown eyes - not on short guys!
Did I just say that out loud??
Life is just a party so come as you are.
Dress it up or dress it down, never forget your guitar
Just be courageous, this styles contagious
Everyone can rock out like a superstar.
Lets get crazy. Get up and dance
Take a swing, do your thing
it's worth taking a chance
Lets get crazy
yo,i didn't pay for half Montana, i paid for the whole stage
hey,i maybe small, but i have a big voice!
not big enough!
hey,You're only being mean to me because i'm short!
don't judge me!i'm a human being!
biggest teen in pop? that doesn't look like it from here
wow,i really blew with Connor, i gotta go clean up this mess
uh,what about this mess?
Nah, I'll blame it on Jackson. That's what brothers are for.
can't believe we have to spend our weekend doing that man's laundry!
Last thing i wanna do in this beautiful morning is fold up that man's delicates
And on what planet is this delicate?
i'll never be able to watch another Tarzan movie again!
my dear friends on the admission board
Jackson Stewart is a most promising young student i've ever met
blah blah blah,I've given you millions, let the half wit in
Santa Barbra here i come!
thank you dontzig,thankya thankya
not so fast, there's one little caveate
man i thought i massage your carveartsyesterday
wow,you are dumb!!
come on Dontzig he did everything you ask, just give him that letter
oh i'd be happy to Stewart, just 1 last little favor
- i have a sister - i feel sorry for her
she happens to be a big Robbie Ray fan!
i'm starting to feel sorry for me
oh quit your whinning,one afternoon with sis and Malibu's most unwanted gets to go to college!
pls dad i mean,who knows, maybe she's nice and pretty?
maybe she's nice?
she happens to be a total babe!!
oh my gosh,it's Robbie Ray!
i don't believe it!
- come on Dontzig,you're not fooling anybody with that wig - what wig?
so where does he work?
- i don't know,i'll check this way you check that way - ok
Have you list already, santa busy busy busy
ho ho ho ho
- you don't think? - no!
- then why aren't you looking? - cuz i'm afraid to
he's not making this easy,is he?
hey,on the plus side, the pointy hat adds like 3 inches
excuse me,excuse me guys, sorry excuse me ok yeah ok yeah thank you
Connor i need i need to talk to you
i'm sorry,but i'm busy talking to good girls and boys
what's with the voice?
oh that's how elves talk,yeah,i won't crush kids dreams like you crushed mine
- but Connor... - that's it goodbye
- pls Connor... - security!
alright alright, keep your tights on,i'm going
that went well!
it's not over yet,i just... gotta figure out a way to talk to em
I cannot believe you gonna make me do this!
- do what? - you'll see
that'S...am i getting that predictable?
getting?
well come on Donna it's time to go, like mommy used to say:
always leave when they're wanting more
- leaving so soon? - ah yes,she's gotta go
but i'll be back again tomorrow
can't stay away from my soul mate forever
ah hahahahahaha
her soul what?
well i can't say i'm surprise, sure she always did have a thing for losers!
but as long as you keep her happy i'm happy!
and you,as you would say, get an¡®edu-macation'!here you go
happy matriculating!
Look it up!
her soul what?
don't worry dad, no ¡®edu-macation' worth that
thank you boy,thank you!
oh man!why can't i be at the front?
because when i apologizing I don't want to be talking out of my but!
- i wanna ride on Rudolf! - me too!
sorry kids no time i got official reindeer business
excuse me merry chrstmas ya excuse me oh sorry sorry kids
hey Connor
Miley what are you doing here?
- i'm trying to apologize - a chu!
- bless you - thank you
- listen Connor i had a great time in... - smile!
wait,i think i blinked!
doesn't matter!
Connor i...i had a really great time with you and i was really hoping...
yeah yeah yeah,we can still be friends i've heard it all before!
Connor,elf voice
i've heard it all before
Connor pls wait
hey,how you doing?
and what do you want for christmas?
to be in the front for once!
Connor pls wait!
look no thanks, i have all the friends i need
Connor
excuse me excuse me, buttless reindeer coming thru
listen connor,i'm not asking to be your friend
i'm asking for second chance
what?
i was stupid, judgemental and wrong and...
i'd really love to go out with you again
why?because you feel sorry for me?
no!
because you're cute, funny,smart and...
i'm a total sanker for brown eyes
i don't know
i don't usually date girls with antlers so...
and i don't really go out with guys who wear tights
but...i give it a shot if you will
ok it's a deal
cool,um,can i just ask you for a favor?
what?
Scratch right there.
- where? - there
well Stewart, you broke my sister's heart
but i'll give you one more chance to get dumber in the college
no way no how!my son may not be brilliant,but he's smart enough to get into college without your help!
you really believe that dad?
yes i do,son
well i don't ,what do you need Farmer Fred to do?
turns out my cousin is an even bigger Robbie Ray fan...
i say good day Dontzig, i say good day Dontzig!
sorry cous,it ain't gonna happen
Why does this keep happening to me?
oh let's face it, what men want,you ain't got!
that's just not fair
i know i know,come on i'll get you an ice cream,get a little meat on these bones
oh my gosh,Jackson it's beautiful!
it's my size,it's my taste,it's...
mine!
i bought this 2 weeks ago!
do you like it?
well of course i do!
then i believe the words you looking for are thank you
jackson,this is so cute, where did you get it?
the same place he got mine,a nice little boutique i like to call Miley's closet!
hey i love that place! But I can never afford it!
i'm kind of afraid to open mine
come on hold on everybody
christmas ain't about the gifts
it's about family friends celebrating all the little special moments that make up everyday life
that's beautiful daddy, merry christmas
merry christmas darling
you got us gift cards again didn't you?
in my defense i'll have you know that your mother always did the shop
and i was a little busy setting up this fantastic tree!
uh oh
fantastic