Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 9, Episode 25 - Now That April's Here - full transcript
Festus, returning to Dodge after doing some trapping, sees his girl, April, and they argue over a gift she received. Running off, she hides but her perch gives her a bird's eye view of a ...
Starring James
Arness as Matt Dillon.
Well, I'll be a son of
a ring-tailed badger.
How are you, Festus?
Tolerable, Matthew.
How 'bout yourself?
Fine.
Well, you don't need
to be fleeing out of town
just 'cause I've come back.
No, as a matter of fact,
I'm on my way up to Kiowa Flats.
I'm taking back a cash box
that somebody stole
out of the Dodge House.
Just the box, or ain't
you gonna bring back
the feller who stole it?
Oh, I'm gonna leave him right
where the sheriff buried him.
Well, that sheriff's a
good man up there.
I-I recollect the...
well, uh, the time
he took a shot at me,
but that's a long time ago.
You wouldn't be
interested in that.
What do you think of that
for six weeks of
trapping in them foothills?
Looks like a good
bunch of pelts.
Well, loaded myself right
out of the saddle with 'em.
And all prime furs, too...
Fox, beaver, bear,
muskrat, skunk.
Sk... That reminds me.
You been a-hearin'
any stories about April?
April? No. What kind of stories?
Well, a feller I met on
the trail was telling me
that she's been a-sashayin'
around with old Quint.
Oh. Quint's a good
friend of yours, isn't he?
Well, of course
he's a friend of mine,
but, golly Bill, he ain't
that good of a friend.
I may just have to
thrash her a little bit
for the good of her soul.
Well, you know, Festus,
I wouldn't worry
about those stories.
You know how that kind
of thing travels around.
I'll see you in a day or two.
Matt, uh, who'd you deputize
to look after the store
for you while you're away?
Well, nobody, but I got
somebody looking out after the jail
for a night or two.
It's your old friend Quint.
Five gross of tin cups.
Five gross...
hold it... tin cups.
Uh, open that one up.
Put it handy where I
can get at it, will you?
The Injuns like shiny things.
Them tin cups always
gets their attention.
Anything you say, Mr. Asher.
These sure ain't first quality.
Not in very good
condition, a lot of them.
Well, Argus, the beast
ain't never been born yet
that grows better fur than that.
I don't even need these,
come right down to it.
Gonna get me plenty of pelts
off the Injuns the next ten days.
What are you gonna
do, trade 'em some more
of that watered-down rum?
I deal fair and square, and
I don't water the trade rum.
Well, out of pure generosity,
I'll take these off your
hands and give you...
sixty dollars.
Oh.
Well, what do you know?
I'm a regular soothsayer.
I was saying to myself
when I was comin' in here,
I said, "Festus,
"that old skinflint is just
gonna try to hornswoggle you
out of them pelts for
half what they're worth."
And sure enough, there
you are trying to do just that.
You ain't claiming these
mangy skins is worth $120?
You bet your
battered boots I am.
But I'll tell you what I'll do:
I'll take $90, just so as I
won't have to deal with you
for any longer than I have to.
$75's high as I'll go.
There's nothing
more to talk about.
Except, uh, two dollars
for the use of that there tub.
Two dollars?
I could buy my own tub for that.
Well, buy one then... set it
in the street, whistle for rain.
Bender.
Coming, Mr. Asher.
Bring me $73 in
gold from the box.
Yes, sir.
And see to it none extra
sticks in your fingers.
You pay him any wages,
or do you just let him bask in
the sunshine of your presence?
Bender don't complain.
Why should you?
50 pounds of sugar sticks.
50 pounds...
sugar sticks.
I'll tell you,
it's a everlasting cryin' shame.
A man just... goes
out for six weeks
and works his heart
out, a-breakin' his back,
eatin' hardtack,
for 73 puny little old dollars.
You ought to use
your head the way I do.
Let the Injuns do the work.
Matter of fact, I'm going
out into the hills tonight
to do a little trading.
Ten days from now
when I come back,
I'll have a wagonload of furs
you couldn't trap in a lifetime.
Well, cheatin' Injuns
is a pretty poor way
to make a living.
So's workin' a sorry way.
$73 gold, Mr. Asher.
Well, give it to Festus.
I'll take the keys.
You know what
I'm a-fixin' to do?
I'm gonna go straight to the
bank and have 'em look at this.
Yeah? Look a hole
through 'em if you want.
I'm an honest man.
Well, I'll be a son of
a ring-tailed badger.
Quint!
Come here, you good-for-nothin'
filthy, mangy horse thief!
Festus, you're the
scroungiest-looking human being
I ever saw!
What would you know
about human beings,
seeing you ain't one yourself?
Hey... what's been going
on twixt you and April?
Well, nothing. Nothing
that counts, anyway.
Well, that just depends
on who's doing the countin'.
Well, I took her to
a box social for you
in broad daylight, if that's
what you're talking about.
You two been saw gallivantin'
more than once, now.
Festus, if there's one
thing we ain't been doing,
it's gallivantin'.
Well, I didn't
believe it anyhow.
It's just what somebody said.
Tell me this... how's she look?
Pretty. Looks
prettier every day.
Ah, don't she just?
Well, I got to finish
gettin' curried down.
If you want to wash
up or take a bath,
I got a two-dollar tub of water
that's just a-going to waste.
- Well, I...
- Come on!
Evening, ma'am.
- Who is it?
- A travelin' man, honey,
with a pocketful of gold
and a heart full of love.
Festus!
I thought you was
never gonna come back.
A Haggen always comes
back, honey, like it or not.
Oh, you know I like it! Oh!
April, dang you, if
you get any prettier,
I'm just gonna
swell up and bust.
Festus, put me down before
my head comes plumb off.
What kind of a dang fool doodad
you been throwing
your money away on?
It ain't no doodad, and I didn't
throw no money away, neither.
It was give to me.
Oh, it was give to you?
By who, and what for?
Well, by Mr. Gripholder
at the furniture store.
He gave it to me as a present.
I reckon he figured
that I needed a chair.
Well, what in the
name of Jeff Davis
have you been a-settin' on?
Now, Festus, there ain't no
need in getting all riled up.
He was just being real
nice and-and friendly and all.
I'll just bet he was,
that old muskrat!
Quint, old man Gripholder,
and who knows who else!
Oh, that ain't true.
I no more than turn around,
and you got to start gallivantin'.
Gallivantin'? If there's
one thing I ain't been doing,
it's gallivantin', and
I don't call six weeks
just barely turning around.
And-and put my chair down.
Festus, what are you doing?!
Brittle! It ain't
even decent built!
Festus, stop that!
Brittle, just like old
man Gripholder's bones!
- I am warning you, Festus Haggen!
- Huh?!
I'm a-doing this for
your own benefit!
Supposin' you done went to
set down on this contraption;
it could've dropped you
right flat on your floor there.
- You have gone clean out of your head!
- You want a chair,
I'll build you a chair,
and it'll be solid built and
all padded with furry stuff
so you can just set down
on it and not even know
you're settin' on nothin'!
If you think that I
am gonna stay here
in this room with a stark,
raving lunatic, you are crazy!
April, come back here, now!
April?
Come back here,
you little ninny!
April!
Fool woman ought to know'd
I was just a-pullin' her leg.
April!
Whoo! April!
Dang your hide. April!
April?
April?
♪♪
Marshal?
Quint, where is the marshal?
Well, he's gone out of town.
He'll be back tomorrow
about noon. Why?
Noon tomorrow?
By then, I'll be dead.
- You got to help me.
- Wait a minute, April.
I'm in enough trouble
with Festus already.
- What's the matter?
- I just seen a murder.
You did what?
Least, I seen right
after one, anyway.
Two men... they were
putting a third one in a barrel.
And-and I knowed
that he was dead
on account of he had a great
big knife sticking out of his back.
Just calm down a minute, April.
Where do you think
you saw all this at?
Over at Asher's warehouse.
I seen it through
the back window.
I-I was hiding.
Well, not from them.
I-I was hiding from Festus.
- You see, he was chasing me...
- Mm-hmm.
And I'd run into the
alleyway to hide, and...
You and Festus
had a little fight, huh?
Well, yes, but what does
that got to do with this?
Oh, April, how could
you do this to me?
Do what to you?
Come over here with
this made-up yarn,
to get me mixed up
between you and Festus.
Well, I ain't made nothing up,
and I didn't even
know you was here.
I came over here
looking for the marshal,
and I sure wish he
was here instead of you.
Why don't you just go on home
and get a good night's rest?
I ain't going nowhere and
wait in my bed to be murdered.
I'm gonna stay right here until
you do something about this.
Well, what am I
gonna do about it?
Well, I guess you could go
over there and arrest them.
I can't arrest nobody.
I ain't no lawman.
Then, I'm staying right here
until the marshal gets back.
I told you, he ain't gonna
be back till tomorrow,
so you can't stay here.
What are people gonna think?
Are you, uh, scared to
go over to that warehouse?
No, I ain't scared of nothing.
Talking's a heap a lot
easier than doing, ain't it?
All right, I'll call your
bluff. We'll go over there.
What do you mean "we?"
Well, I'm not gonna be
made a fool of by myself.
You're the one
that saw it, not me.
Unless, of course, you want
to admit that you're lying.
Lying!
Okay, come on, let's go.
Hey!
Wait just a dang
minute there, you two.
I knew that you were
gonna be trouble.
Ain't been no gallivantin', huh?
And, oh, we've only did
it in the broad daylight.
Well, I don't see no
sun a-shining now.
I'm just checking
up on something
April told me, that's all.
Well, don't you know
no more than to...?
Festus, will you quit it?
We ain't got time
for lollygagging now.
- Lollygagging?!
- Yeah.
Wait a minute, Festus.
Uh, April here might be
in real trouble, she thinks,
and she saw a murder... maybe.
Oh, what kind of
a harebrained yarn
has this flitter-headed
ninny been feeding you?
If I was a man, I would p...
If you was a man, I wouldn't
be a-following you right now.
And I wouldn't have just
decided to go right along with you
and check up on this so-called
checking up you're gonna do.
Well, you just ain't
going nowhere with us!
We'll see about that.
You're as welcome
as rain in August.
Somebody stirring
around in there.
Bender?
Coming.
Howdy.
Oh, it's you, Quint.
And Festus.
Well, what do you fellows want?
Well, if it's all the
same to you, Bender,
we'd like to come in
and take a look around.
At this hour? That
don't make sense.
Well, it makes
about as much sense
as what that little lady said
she saw through your window.
Oh, so you're the one.
You lit out so fast, I-I didn't
get a real good look at you.
I couldn't figure what
you was doing out there,
peering in like that.
See, you might as well
come in and look around,
seeing as you're here.
Well, where would
you like to look mostly?
We, uh, best ask
the little lady here.
Over there, around them
barrels, by the back window.
Well, then, we best go this way.
Watch your step.
Why, I-I...
I sure can't figure out
what this is all about.
No, not that one.
That one right there.
I seen it from the window.
That was the one he was
stuffing the dead man in.
Him and that other man
that looked like a bear.
What's she talking
about, Festus?
Well, ask him.
I ain't got no part
of this snipe hunt.
Well, you see, Miss,
uh... Miss April there...
She claims that, uh...
that she thinks, uh...
You tell him.
I ain't thinking nothing, and I
ain't claiming nothing, neither.
I seen it with my own eyes.
I seen you stuff a
dead man in that barrel.
You and that other big man.
Oh, so that's why you lit
out like a scared rabbit.
You mean she's
telling the truth?
Well, now, that...
that's a matter of opinion.
You see... see
that window there...
That-that ain't none too clean.
And sometimes,
especially in the dark
with only candlelight...
folks eyes play tricks on 'em.
We was just packing up
some barrels with these
to ship 'em back East.
Of all the nitwitted
flibbertigibbets
I've ever saw in
my born days, you...
I'm getting out of here!
No, wait a minute, miss.
You're gonna trip over something
in the dark and fall down.
April, wait.
Sorry we bothered you, Bender.
No bother.
That gal keeps talking
the way she's talking,
she could cause a
might of trouble for us.
Not us. I ain't gonna be here.
I will.
It's up to you, then, ain't it?
Yeah. I reckon it is.
April?
You got to get this whole
thing out of your head now
and quit acting so silly.
None of it'd have
happened in the first place
if you hadn't have
took that present
off old man Grabber
Nabber or what...
Would you be quiet,
you old braying donkey?
Quint, where you going?
Just going in here
and have a drink.
You two don't need
me hanging around.
Now, you listen to
me, the both of you.
That mealy-mouthed
murderer might have
the two of you ninnies eating
out of his hand, but not me,
'cause I seen what I seen,
and it weren't no
barrel of fur, neither.
Now, what are you
aiming on doing about it?
Well, I'm just aiming
to forget it, myself.
It was kind of dark in
there, and Bender was right.
You-you might have
been seeing things.
What do you mean, might
have been seeing things?
I seen what I seen... Them
two men murdered that man,
and then, they
stuffed him in a barrel.
And will you please stop
trying to make me think
I've gone stark raving crazy?!
Well, maybe you did
see it just like you said,
but why don't you let
Festus take you home,
and then, tomorrow, you
can tell Matt all about it?
I wouldn't let Festus
take me to no dog fight.
And besides, if you're
gonna just let them murderers
walk around here loose, I
reckon I'm not going home, either.
Well, where are
you gonna go, then?
Well, I guess the only place
I'd be safe would be in jail.
You can't stay in the
jail. I'm the only one there.
Well, what's wrong
with that? You're enough.
He's what?!
My what ain't none
of your business.
Now, you go do your old
heehawing someplace else.
- Come on, Quint.
- April?
Uh, wait a minute, April.
Festus, this isn't my idea.
Festus, don't worry.
I'll get her out of there.
Well, I'll be a low-living
son of a mother duck!
Quint, will you please get
me one of them blankets?
Matt didn't leave me here
to run a hotel for women.
All right.
I reckon I'll just have to shimmy
up and get me one myself.
Oh, wait a minute.
Hey. What if people
were to come in here
and see you shinnying
around, and...?
I'll get you the blanket.
Ain't gonna do you
no good, though,
'cause there ain't no
place for you to stay.
You got cells, ain't you?
Cells got bunks, ain't they?
Cells are for people that
have done something wrong.
Well, then, I reckon I'll just
have to go out on the street
and do me something wrong.
Oh, wait a minute.
You got me in
enough trouble already.
Now, why don't you just stop?
Do I get me a cell?
All right, you get a cell.
Go pick one out.
Festus ain't gonna like this.
It seems to me you weren't
always that concerned
about what Festus would like.
If you recollect, I told you,
Festus is a friend of mine.
As I recollect, it
was me who told you.
Of course, that was when
Festus was out of town.
Quint, will you bring me
the lamp and the key?
Right here's fine.
I ain't particular.
If you was, you
wouldn't be here.
Ain't very soft, is it?
Ain't supposed to be.
Well, you can lock
the cell door now.
You lock the cell door
to keep people in, April.
Then I reckon you
can lock the cell door
to keep people out, can't you?
I want to get me a
real good night's sleep.
Quint?
Good night.
Good night.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Festus.
Morning, Matthew.
Well, you're up mighty early.
Well, a man with
the troubles I got
can't waste his time on
plain old everyday sleepin'.
Oh, you got some troubles, huh?
- Oh, I sure have.
- What kind?
Well, Matt, I... wouldn't want
to sway your thinkin', but...
there's just some things that
you ought to see for yourself.
Oh?
Matthew, there's been
carryings-on around here
behind your back that
just purely give a man
the screamin' trembles.
That sounds serious.
- Come on inside.
- Well, could be.
What's this lamp doing out here?
Looks like it's just
a-settin' there to me.
Isn't Quint here?
Oh, sure.
Sure, he's here.
Quint, open up!
Ah.
- Hello, Matt.
- Ah.
Wasn't expecting
you back so early.
Well, I got through
with my business,
and morning's a good
time to travel, so...
Say, what was the
lamp doing outside?
Well, it was kind
of dark outside,
and it seemed like a good idea,
at the time.
Uh-huh. You, uh, you have
some trouble of some kind, or...?
No, no, no. Say, what do you say
we all go down the street
and have a cup of coffee?
Uh, why don't you ask him
about his prisoner, Matt?
Prisoner?
Well, it isn't...
not actually... actually,
it's not a prisoner,
it's just a...
Can I borrow a
comb off you, Quint?
Who's that?
Well, that's, uh... uh...
Quint? Honey, can't you hear me?
Quint?
Quint, maybe you, uh,
better release the prisoner.
Yeah.
I'll tell you, Matt, a man
gets hard-put sometimes
just a-trying to keep up
his faith in human nature.
You know, Festus, I'm beginning
to understand what you mean.
Oh, Marshal Dillon, I
sure am glad to see you.
Yeah, well, good morning, April.
Uh, sorry, Matt, she wouldn't
take no for an answer.
See, she had a pretty
bad scare last night.
Yeah, I'll just bet she did.
I seen myself a murder.
'Least the same thing as.
And these two half-wits,
they wouldn't even believe me.
I believe you.
And naturally, with the
two killers running loose
in the streets, I wasn't
about to go home, so...
You what?
I said I believe you.
Well, when did you
change your mind?
Last night I heard somebody
prowling around outside.
That wasn't no
somebody, that was me.
Quint... why don't
you take Festus here
and, uh, go have that cup of
coffee you were talking about?
I suppose I could do that.
After halfway freezin'
to death all night,
I'd drink coffee with
the devil his self.
Thanks. What were you doing
out there last night, anyway?
Just keeping a eye on things.
Just purely keeping
a eye on things.
Let's go.
April...
M-Marshal, I didn't mean
to cause no ruckus, and...
All right. Now, look, suppose
you start from the beginning
and you tell me the
whole story, huh?
Well, I tell you, Marshal,
it was real simple.
Mr. Gripholder...
He give me a chair,
and-and then Festus
got real upset, and...
♪♪
Well, hello, Bender.
Well, now, Marshal, uh,
something I can do for you?
I'd kind of like to take
a look around inside,
if you don't mind.
Why, I reckon that fool girl
finally come to
you with that story.
What, are you closed today?
N-Not exactly. Uh, uh,
Mr. Asher's gone away on a trip,
and I-I figured to catch
up on the books today.
I... I'd open up i-if
somebody came round.
But I-I can't keep
my eye on things
when I'm working at my desk.
Uh, back-back there is... is
where that girl thought she saw
what got her so worked up.
- When did Asher leave?
- Late last night.
He-he always rides out
ahead and has the Indians
gather up their stuff
before the wagon gets there.
I-It saves time.
Uh, Mr. Asher's
strong on saving time.
Back there's the window
that she was looking in.
And, of course, it
was... it was dark then,
not like it is now.
And-and there wasn't no
light, except for a lantern.
And-and that
wasn't up very bright.
Uh-huh. Well, I can see that'd
make a difference, all right.
Uh, here it is, Marshal...
That dead body
she thought she saw.
Festus and Quint saw it
last night by the lantern light.
Festus like to
have died laughing.
Yeah, I heard about that.
You ought to talk to
them two, Marshal.
She had them
halfway believing her
before they come over here.
I did talk to 'em.
I-I was figuring on
shipping these out,
but I... I saved
'em just in case
somebody might
want to look at 'em.
Does Asher always leave
in the middle of the night
for these trips?
Yes, sir, it works
out better that way.
And-and then Grody heads out
with the wagon in the morning.
And he's gone, too?
Yes, sir, he-he
left before dawn.
- What's in these barrels here?
- Rum.
I-I'd be glad to broach either
one of them for you, Marshal,
let you sample it.
No. No, thanks.
And what's this?
This looks like blood.
Uh, uh, I-I reckon there's...
there's bound to be some
bloodstains around here,
what with all the green pelts
we have coming in all the time.
Oh, a-and... and then there's...
Here, it might come from this.
Grody slaughtered a steer.
I-I could bring you over some
steaks tomorrow, if you'd like.
No, thanks.
Does he always ride that
pinto when he goes out?
Yes, sir.
M-Mr. Asher wouldn't go no
place without that old horse.
He... oh, he-he figures
that it's just so worthless,
why, the Indians wouldn't
bother trying to steal it.
Has he ever had any Indian
trouble on any of these trips?
No. N-No, sir, not in the four
years he's been going out there.
But there's always a first time.
A trader was... was
robbed and killed
on the Cimarron Strip
a couple of months ago.
Yeah, I heard about it.
Oh, Mr. Asher's gonna
laugh his head off
when he gets back and...
finds out about all this.
I never heard about
Asher laughing his head off
over anything, Bender.
He's a pretty tough
man to work for, isn't he?
Well, he-he ain't easy.
But I got no complaints.
You know, if he should
have some trouble out there,
happen to disappear
this time or something,
and that girl tells
her story in court,
you're gonna be in a bad spot.
Well, I-I didn't think
she still believed all that,
after I showed her
and all what it was.
She still believes it.
Oh... n-nobody else'd
believe a story like that.
I think they might, Bender.
That'd be terrible, Marshal,
folks getting the wrong notion.
Well, I wouldn't
worry about it, Bender.
After all, if he's
made this many trips
without running into trouble,
he probably won't run into it now.
That'd be quite a
coincidence, wouldn't it?
Thanks.
♪♪
- Sam, how are you?
- Doc.
- Morning, Kitty.
- Ah. How are you, Doc?
- Fine.
- How about a beer?
- Thanks.
- Sam, bring Doc a beer.
What's the matter with him?
Oh, um...
he's wrestling a bear.
It's, uh, you know, one
of those inside bears.
Oh.
Who's winning?
Well, I can't tell yet.
- He's, um, just in the middle.
- Mm.
Maybe he ought to
have another beer
to kind of keep up his strength.
Sam, bring Festus another beer.
Much obliged, Doc.
Oh, you heard that, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Heard everything you've said,
but I'm... just a
little busy thinking.
Well, would you care to
reveal your conclusion?
No, but I'll tell you
what I've decided.
There just ain't no way a
woman can be figured out.
And there ain't a one of
'em that can be trusted
as far as you can throw 'em.
Well, that's the same conclusion
he had when he came in.
Yeah, but I got
it twice as stout
since I've had time to
study on it for a spell.
By golly, I think he's
got something there, too.
Well, of course he has.
And he gets his opinion from
the same place that all men do...
The bottom of a beer mug.
Oh-ho, Kitty, sounds to
me like this must be your day
for riling up the
customers, huh?
- You want a beer?
- No, no, thanks.
You know, Matt,
Festus has just rendered
some revealing observations
on womanhood in general.
I ain't did no such a thing.
I was just telling them
the pure truth about 'em.
You know how April's
been acting to me, Matt,
running off mad like she's
did, and then making up
that fool story about what
she's supposed to have saw.
Uh-huh.
Doc, uh, April been
a patient of yours?
Well, yes, from
time to time. Why?
How about her eyes?
Well, they're very pretty.
Yeah, I know, but I mean, uh,
she ever had any trouble seeing?
Well, no, none that I know of.
She sure wasn't a-seein'
too good yesterday evenin'.
Did you see Argus Asher when
he brought those pelts over there?
Sure. He's the one that
bought 'em off of me.
I doubt he's there now, though,
'cause he was supposed
to leave last night on a trip.
Yeah, that's what he told the
night man at the livery stable.
Said he came over and
got his horse about 7:00.
Sure. That's the way he's
always did... leave the night before,
and then Grody follows him
the next day in the wagon.
Yeah. Grody left
town this morning
with a wagonload of trade goods.
Well, there ain't nothin' out
of the ordinary at all, Matt.
Well, now, there
were three barrels
still over there in the
back of that warehouse.
April said there was
a whole lot of barrels.
Yeah, that's right.
Uh... last night there was
six or eight of them there.
Did you ever hear of anybody
shipping pelts in a barrel?
No, come to think of it.
No, 'course not...
They'd get moldy if you did.
Well, Bender knows that.
Well, Matt...
you mean you think April really
saw what she claims she did?
That's exactly what
I'm saying, Doc.
Well... then she's the
only witness there are.
Where's she at? I got
to find her right now.
Well, don't worry.
She's all right.
She's up in her
room for the day.
All right? Well, somebody
could slip in there
and thump her on the head, or...
No, I took care of that;
I've got Quint watching her.
Quint?
Matthew...
there's times when I swear
everything and everybody
is just purely
conspiring agin me.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Hold it, Bender.
I-I-I wasn't aimin'
to hurt her, Marshal.
I... I-I just wanted
to scare her,
make her stop telling them lies.
Put the knife on the table.
You know, a flighty-headed gal
could get a man
in a lot of trouble
telling stories
around like that.
Murder can get a man in a
lot of trouble, too, Bender.
Oh, I-I... I told you, Marshal,
I... I-I... I was just
meaning to scare her.
I'm talking about Argus Asher.
You're under arrest.
He-He's gone away on a
trip; you know that, Marshal.
Uh, he's gone out
west to the foothills
to trade with the Injuns.
Look, you're making
a mistake, Marshal.
You... you can't arrest a man.
Why-why, you don't
even have a body.
I figure I will have.
You said Asher took a trip.
I think that's just what he did.
♪♪
♪♪
What brings you out
this way, Marshal?
We'll take a look in your
wagon, if you don't mind.
What for?
We'll see what kind of gifts
you're bringing to the Indians.
Just trade stuff,
same as always.
Now, if you aim to
look, I can't stop you.
You looking for
something particular?
That's right.
Where's Asher?
He's up ahead... I haven't
caught up with him yet.
Then what's his
horse doing here?
Well, the pinto's a mite
lame; he took another horse.
I'm trailing this one
along to walk it out of him.
Well, looks like we
found our man, all right.
How'd you figure to do it, dump
him out in the prairie somewhere
and shoot a few arrows into him?
I knew that Bender
would talk if he got pushed.
You're under arrest, Grody.
I know'd he was
your pigeon, Matt,
but, golly Bill, he
was flying my way.
Looks like old Grody
shot us a rum barrel.
I know'd he is
watering down that rum.
♪♪
Just a minute.
What in tarnation is that thing?
Well, what do you think it is?
It's a chair, you little ninny.
A chair? Looks more
like a-a bear trap to me.
Bear trap?
It's a chair, and
a dang good one.
It ain't one of them spindly,
puny little old
store-bought gimcracks.
I built this myself.
Or... I and Quint did.
Well, go on, set
down, try it out.
Go on, set down!
Don't reckon the glue'd
had time to set yet.
Uh, April, don't... fret, now.
I'll go to work and
build you another one,
twice as big and twice as stout,
with beaver pelts and muskrat...
and when you...
Thank you for
your chair, Festus.
Well... let's just
don't stand around.
Help me pick up the pieces.
Arness as Matt Dillon.
Well, I'll be a son of
a ring-tailed badger.
How are you, Festus?
Tolerable, Matthew.
How 'bout yourself?
Fine.
Well, you don't need
to be fleeing out of town
just 'cause I've come back.
No, as a matter of fact,
I'm on my way up to Kiowa Flats.
I'm taking back a cash box
that somebody stole
out of the Dodge House.
Just the box, or ain't
you gonna bring back
the feller who stole it?
Oh, I'm gonna leave him right
where the sheriff buried him.
Well, that sheriff's a
good man up there.
I-I recollect the...
well, uh, the time
he took a shot at me,
but that's a long time ago.
You wouldn't be
interested in that.
What do you think of that
for six weeks of
trapping in them foothills?
Looks like a good
bunch of pelts.
Well, loaded myself right
out of the saddle with 'em.
And all prime furs, too...
Fox, beaver, bear,
muskrat, skunk.
Sk... That reminds me.
You been a-hearin'
any stories about April?
April? No. What kind of stories?
Well, a feller I met on
the trail was telling me
that she's been a-sashayin'
around with old Quint.
Oh. Quint's a good
friend of yours, isn't he?
Well, of course
he's a friend of mine,
but, golly Bill, he ain't
that good of a friend.
I may just have to
thrash her a little bit
for the good of her soul.
Well, you know, Festus,
I wouldn't worry
about those stories.
You know how that kind
of thing travels around.
I'll see you in a day or two.
Matt, uh, who'd you deputize
to look after the store
for you while you're away?
Well, nobody, but I got
somebody looking out after the jail
for a night or two.
It's your old friend Quint.
Five gross of tin cups.
Five gross...
hold it... tin cups.
Uh, open that one up.
Put it handy where I
can get at it, will you?
The Injuns like shiny things.
Them tin cups always
gets their attention.
Anything you say, Mr. Asher.
These sure ain't first quality.
Not in very good
condition, a lot of them.
Well, Argus, the beast
ain't never been born yet
that grows better fur than that.
I don't even need these,
come right down to it.
Gonna get me plenty of pelts
off the Injuns the next ten days.
What are you gonna
do, trade 'em some more
of that watered-down rum?
I deal fair and square, and
I don't water the trade rum.
Well, out of pure generosity,
I'll take these off your
hands and give you...
sixty dollars.
Oh.
Well, what do you know?
I'm a regular soothsayer.
I was saying to myself
when I was comin' in here,
I said, "Festus,
"that old skinflint is just
gonna try to hornswoggle you
out of them pelts for
half what they're worth."
And sure enough, there
you are trying to do just that.
You ain't claiming these
mangy skins is worth $120?
You bet your
battered boots I am.
But I'll tell you what I'll do:
I'll take $90, just so as I
won't have to deal with you
for any longer than I have to.
$75's high as I'll go.
There's nothing
more to talk about.
Except, uh, two dollars
for the use of that there tub.
Two dollars?
I could buy my own tub for that.
Well, buy one then... set it
in the street, whistle for rain.
Bender.
Coming, Mr. Asher.
Bring me $73 in
gold from the box.
Yes, sir.
And see to it none extra
sticks in your fingers.
You pay him any wages,
or do you just let him bask in
the sunshine of your presence?
Bender don't complain.
Why should you?
50 pounds of sugar sticks.
50 pounds...
sugar sticks.
I'll tell you,
it's a everlasting cryin' shame.
A man just... goes
out for six weeks
and works his heart
out, a-breakin' his back,
eatin' hardtack,
for 73 puny little old dollars.
You ought to use
your head the way I do.
Let the Injuns do the work.
Matter of fact, I'm going
out into the hills tonight
to do a little trading.
Ten days from now
when I come back,
I'll have a wagonload of furs
you couldn't trap in a lifetime.
Well, cheatin' Injuns
is a pretty poor way
to make a living.
So's workin' a sorry way.
$73 gold, Mr. Asher.
Well, give it to Festus.
I'll take the keys.
You know what
I'm a-fixin' to do?
I'm gonna go straight to the
bank and have 'em look at this.
Yeah? Look a hole
through 'em if you want.
I'm an honest man.
Well, I'll be a son of
a ring-tailed badger.
Quint!
Come here, you good-for-nothin'
filthy, mangy horse thief!
Festus, you're the
scroungiest-looking human being
I ever saw!
What would you know
about human beings,
seeing you ain't one yourself?
Hey... what's been going
on twixt you and April?
Well, nothing. Nothing
that counts, anyway.
Well, that just depends
on who's doing the countin'.
Well, I took her to
a box social for you
in broad daylight, if that's
what you're talking about.
You two been saw gallivantin'
more than once, now.
Festus, if there's one
thing we ain't been doing,
it's gallivantin'.
Well, I didn't
believe it anyhow.
It's just what somebody said.
Tell me this... how's she look?
Pretty. Looks
prettier every day.
Ah, don't she just?
Well, I got to finish
gettin' curried down.
If you want to wash
up or take a bath,
I got a two-dollar tub of water
that's just a-going to waste.
- Well, I...
- Come on!
Evening, ma'am.
- Who is it?
- A travelin' man, honey,
with a pocketful of gold
and a heart full of love.
Festus!
I thought you was
never gonna come back.
A Haggen always comes
back, honey, like it or not.
Oh, you know I like it! Oh!
April, dang you, if
you get any prettier,
I'm just gonna
swell up and bust.
Festus, put me down before
my head comes plumb off.
What kind of a dang fool doodad
you been throwing
your money away on?
It ain't no doodad, and I didn't
throw no money away, neither.
It was give to me.
Oh, it was give to you?
By who, and what for?
Well, by Mr. Gripholder
at the furniture store.
He gave it to me as a present.
I reckon he figured
that I needed a chair.
Well, what in the
name of Jeff Davis
have you been a-settin' on?
Now, Festus, there ain't no
need in getting all riled up.
He was just being real
nice and-and friendly and all.
I'll just bet he was,
that old muskrat!
Quint, old man Gripholder,
and who knows who else!
Oh, that ain't true.
I no more than turn around,
and you got to start gallivantin'.
Gallivantin'? If there's
one thing I ain't been doing,
it's gallivantin', and
I don't call six weeks
just barely turning around.
And-and put my chair down.
Festus, what are you doing?!
Brittle! It ain't
even decent built!
Festus, stop that!
Brittle, just like old
man Gripholder's bones!
- I am warning you, Festus Haggen!
- Huh?!
I'm a-doing this for
your own benefit!
Supposin' you done went to
set down on this contraption;
it could've dropped you
right flat on your floor there.
- You have gone clean out of your head!
- You want a chair,
I'll build you a chair,
and it'll be solid built and
all padded with furry stuff
so you can just set down
on it and not even know
you're settin' on nothin'!
If you think that I
am gonna stay here
in this room with a stark,
raving lunatic, you are crazy!
April, come back here, now!
April?
Come back here,
you little ninny!
April!
Fool woman ought to know'd
I was just a-pullin' her leg.
April!
Whoo! April!
Dang your hide. April!
April?
April?
♪♪
Marshal?
Quint, where is the marshal?
Well, he's gone out of town.
He'll be back tomorrow
about noon. Why?
Noon tomorrow?
By then, I'll be dead.
- You got to help me.
- Wait a minute, April.
I'm in enough trouble
with Festus already.
- What's the matter?
- I just seen a murder.
You did what?
Least, I seen right
after one, anyway.
Two men... they were
putting a third one in a barrel.
And-and I knowed
that he was dead
on account of he had a great
big knife sticking out of his back.
Just calm down a minute, April.
Where do you think
you saw all this at?
Over at Asher's warehouse.
I seen it through
the back window.
I-I was hiding.
Well, not from them.
I-I was hiding from Festus.
- You see, he was chasing me...
- Mm-hmm.
And I'd run into the
alleyway to hide, and...
You and Festus
had a little fight, huh?
Well, yes, but what does
that got to do with this?
Oh, April, how could
you do this to me?
Do what to you?
Come over here with
this made-up yarn,
to get me mixed up
between you and Festus.
Well, I ain't made nothing up,
and I didn't even
know you was here.
I came over here
looking for the marshal,
and I sure wish he
was here instead of you.
Why don't you just go on home
and get a good night's rest?
I ain't going nowhere and
wait in my bed to be murdered.
I'm gonna stay right here until
you do something about this.
Well, what am I
gonna do about it?
Well, I guess you could go
over there and arrest them.
I can't arrest nobody.
I ain't no lawman.
Then, I'm staying right here
until the marshal gets back.
I told you, he ain't gonna
be back till tomorrow,
so you can't stay here.
What are people gonna think?
Are you, uh, scared to
go over to that warehouse?
No, I ain't scared of nothing.
Talking's a heap a lot
easier than doing, ain't it?
All right, I'll call your
bluff. We'll go over there.
What do you mean "we?"
Well, I'm not gonna be
made a fool of by myself.
You're the one
that saw it, not me.
Unless, of course, you want
to admit that you're lying.
Lying!
Okay, come on, let's go.
Hey!
Wait just a dang
minute there, you two.
I knew that you were
gonna be trouble.
Ain't been no gallivantin', huh?
And, oh, we've only did
it in the broad daylight.
Well, I don't see no
sun a-shining now.
I'm just checking
up on something
April told me, that's all.
Well, don't you know
no more than to...?
Festus, will you quit it?
We ain't got time
for lollygagging now.
- Lollygagging?!
- Yeah.
Wait a minute, Festus.
Uh, April here might be
in real trouble, she thinks,
and she saw a murder... maybe.
Oh, what kind of
a harebrained yarn
has this flitter-headed
ninny been feeding you?
If I was a man, I would p...
If you was a man, I wouldn't
be a-following you right now.
And I wouldn't have just
decided to go right along with you
and check up on this so-called
checking up you're gonna do.
Well, you just ain't
going nowhere with us!
We'll see about that.
You're as welcome
as rain in August.
Somebody stirring
around in there.
Bender?
Coming.
Howdy.
Oh, it's you, Quint.
And Festus.
Well, what do you fellows want?
Well, if it's all the
same to you, Bender,
we'd like to come in
and take a look around.
At this hour? That
don't make sense.
Well, it makes
about as much sense
as what that little lady said
she saw through your window.
Oh, so you're the one.
You lit out so fast, I-I didn't
get a real good look at you.
I couldn't figure what
you was doing out there,
peering in like that.
See, you might as well
come in and look around,
seeing as you're here.
Well, where would
you like to look mostly?
We, uh, best ask
the little lady here.
Over there, around them
barrels, by the back window.
Well, then, we best go this way.
Watch your step.
Why, I-I...
I sure can't figure out
what this is all about.
No, not that one.
That one right there.
I seen it from the window.
That was the one he was
stuffing the dead man in.
Him and that other man
that looked like a bear.
What's she talking
about, Festus?
Well, ask him.
I ain't got no part
of this snipe hunt.
Well, you see, Miss,
uh... Miss April there...
She claims that, uh...
that she thinks, uh...
You tell him.
I ain't thinking nothing, and I
ain't claiming nothing, neither.
I seen it with my own eyes.
I seen you stuff a
dead man in that barrel.
You and that other big man.
Oh, so that's why you lit
out like a scared rabbit.
You mean she's
telling the truth?
Well, now, that...
that's a matter of opinion.
You see... see
that window there...
That-that ain't none too clean.
And sometimes,
especially in the dark
with only candlelight...
folks eyes play tricks on 'em.
We was just packing up
some barrels with these
to ship 'em back East.
Of all the nitwitted
flibbertigibbets
I've ever saw in
my born days, you...
I'm getting out of here!
No, wait a minute, miss.
You're gonna trip over something
in the dark and fall down.
April, wait.
Sorry we bothered you, Bender.
No bother.
That gal keeps talking
the way she's talking,
she could cause a
might of trouble for us.
Not us. I ain't gonna be here.
I will.
It's up to you, then, ain't it?
Yeah. I reckon it is.
April?
You got to get this whole
thing out of your head now
and quit acting so silly.
None of it'd have
happened in the first place
if you hadn't have
took that present
off old man Grabber
Nabber or what...
Would you be quiet,
you old braying donkey?
Quint, where you going?
Just going in here
and have a drink.
You two don't need
me hanging around.
Now, you listen to
me, the both of you.
That mealy-mouthed
murderer might have
the two of you ninnies eating
out of his hand, but not me,
'cause I seen what I seen,
and it weren't no
barrel of fur, neither.
Now, what are you
aiming on doing about it?
Well, I'm just aiming
to forget it, myself.
It was kind of dark in
there, and Bender was right.
You-you might have
been seeing things.
What do you mean, might
have been seeing things?
I seen what I seen... Them
two men murdered that man,
and then, they
stuffed him in a barrel.
And will you please stop
trying to make me think
I've gone stark raving crazy?!
Well, maybe you did
see it just like you said,
but why don't you let
Festus take you home,
and then, tomorrow, you
can tell Matt all about it?
I wouldn't let Festus
take me to no dog fight.
And besides, if you're
gonna just let them murderers
walk around here loose, I
reckon I'm not going home, either.
Well, where are
you gonna go, then?
Well, I guess the only place
I'd be safe would be in jail.
You can't stay in the
jail. I'm the only one there.
Well, what's wrong
with that? You're enough.
He's what?!
My what ain't none
of your business.
Now, you go do your old
heehawing someplace else.
- Come on, Quint.
- April?
Uh, wait a minute, April.
Festus, this isn't my idea.
Festus, don't worry.
I'll get her out of there.
Well, I'll be a low-living
son of a mother duck!
Quint, will you please get
me one of them blankets?
Matt didn't leave me here
to run a hotel for women.
All right.
I reckon I'll just have to shimmy
up and get me one myself.
Oh, wait a minute.
Hey. What if people
were to come in here
and see you shinnying
around, and...?
I'll get you the blanket.
Ain't gonna do you
no good, though,
'cause there ain't no
place for you to stay.
You got cells, ain't you?
Cells got bunks, ain't they?
Cells are for people that
have done something wrong.
Well, then, I reckon I'll just
have to go out on the street
and do me something wrong.
Oh, wait a minute.
You got me in
enough trouble already.
Now, why don't you just stop?
Do I get me a cell?
All right, you get a cell.
Go pick one out.
Festus ain't gonna like this.
It seems to me you weren't
always that concerned
about what Festus would like.
If you recollect, I told you,
Festus is a friend of mine.
As I recollect, it
was me who told you.
Of course, that was when
Festus was out of town.
Quint, will you bring me
the lamp and the key?
Right here's fine.
I ain't particular.
If you was, you
wouldn't be here.
Ain't very soft, is it?
Ain't supposed to be.
Well, you can lock
the cell door now.
You lock the cell door
to keep people in, April.
Then I reckon you
can lock the cell door
to keep people out, can't you?
I want to get me a
real good night's sleep.
Quint?
Good night.
Good night.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Festus.
Morning, Matthew.
Well, you're up mighty early.
Well, a man with
the troubles I got
can't waste his time on
plain old everyday sleepin'.
Oh, you got some troubles, huh?
- Oh, I sure have.
- What kind?
Well, Matt, I... wouldn't want
to sway your thinkin', but...
there's just some things that
you ought to see for yourself.
Oh?
Matthew, there's been
carryings-on around here
behind your back that
just purely give a man
the screamin' trembles.
That sounds serious.
- Come on inside.
- Well, could be.
What's this lamp doing out here?
Looks like it's just
a-settin' there to me.
Isn't Quint here?
Oh, sure.
Sure, he's here.
Quint, open up!
Ah.
- Hello, Matt.
- Ah.
Wasn't expecting
you back so early.
Well, I got through
with my business,
and morning's a good
time to travel, so...
Say, what was the
lamp doing outside?
Well, it was kind
of dark outside,
and it seemed like a good idea,
at the time.
Uh-huh. You, uh, you have
some trouble of some kind, or...?
No, no, no. Say, what do you say
we all go down the street
and have a cup of coffee?
Uh, why don't you ask him
about his prisoner, Matt?
Prisoner?
Well, it isn't...
not actually... actually,
it's not a prisoner,
it's just a...
Can I borrow a
comb off you, Quint?
Who's that?
Well, that's, uh... uh...
Quint? Honey, can't you hear me?
Quint?
Quint, maybe you, uh,
better release the prisoner.
Yeah.
I'll tell you, Matt, a man
gets hard-put sometimes
just a-trying to keep up
his faith in human nature.
You know, Festus, I'm beginning
to understand what you mean.
Oh, Marshal Dillon, I
sure am glad to see you.
Yeah, well, good morning, April.
Uh, sorry, Matt, she wouldn't
take no for an answer.
See, she had a pretty
bad scare last night.
Yeah, I'll just bet she did.
I seen myself a murder.
'Least the same thing as.
And these two half-wits,
they wouldn't even believe me.
I believe you.
And naturally, with the
two killers running loose
in the streets, I wasn't
about to go home, so...
You what?
I said I believe you.
Well, when did you
change your mind?
Last night I heard somebody
prowling around outside.
That wasn't no
somebody, that was me.
Quint... why don't
you take Festus here
and, uh, go have that cup of
coffee you were talking about?
I suppose I could do that.
After halfway freezin'
to death all night,
I'd drink coffee with
the devil his self.
Thanks. What were you doing
out there last night, anyway?
Just keeping a eye on things.
Just purely keeping
a eye on things.
Let's go.
April...
M-Marshal, I didn't mean
to cause no ruckus, and...
All right. Now, look, suppose
you start from the beginning
and you tell me the
whole story, huh?
Well, I tell you, Marshal,
it was real simple.
Mr. Gripholder...
He give me a chair,
and-and then Festus
got real upset, and...
♪♪
Well, hello, Bender.
Well, now, Marshal, uh,
something I can do for you?
I'd kind of like to take
a look around inside,
if you don't mind.
Why, I reckon that fool girl
finally come to
you with that story.
What, are you closed today?
N-Not exactly. Uh, uh,
Mr. Asher's gone away on a trip,
and I-I figured to catch
up on the books today.
I... I'd open up i-if
somebody came round.
But I-I can't keep
my eye on things
when I'm working at my desk.
Uh, back-back there is... is
where that girl thought she saw
what got her so worked up.
- When did Asher leave?
- Late last night.
He-he always rides out
ahead and has the Indians
gather up their stuff
before the wagon gets there.
I-It saves time.
Uh, Mr. Asher's
strong on saving time.
Back there's the window
that she was looking in.
And, of course, it
was... it was dark then,
not like it is now.
And-and there wasn't no
light, except for a lantern.
And-and that
wasn't up very bright.
Uh-huh. Well, I can see that'd
make a difference, all right.
Uh, here it is, Marshal...
That dead body
she thought she saw.
Festus and Quint saw it
last night by the lantern light.
Festus like to
have died laughing.
Yeah, I heard about that.
You ought to talk to
them two, Marshal.
She had them
halfway believing her
before they come over here.
I did talk to 'em.
I-I was figuring on
shipping these out,
but I... I saved
'em just in case
somebody might
want to look at 'em.
Does Asher always leave
in the middle of the night
for these trips?
Yes, sir, it works
out better that way.
And-and then Grody heads out
with the wagon in the morning.
And he's gone, too?
Yes, sir, he-he
left before dawn.
- What's in these barrels here?
- Rum.
I-I'd be glad to broach either
one of them for you, Marshal,
let you sample it.
No. No, thanks.
And what's this?
This looks like blood.
Uh, uh, I-I reckon there's...
there's bound to be some
bloodstains around here,
what with all the green pelts
we have coming in all the time.
Oh, a-and... and then there's...
Here, it might come from this.
Grody slaughtered a steer.
I-I could bring you over some
steaks tomorrow, if you'd like.
No, thanks.
Does he always ride that
pinto when he goes out?
Yes, sir.
M-Mr. Asher wouldn't go no
place without that old horse.
He... oh, he-he figures
that it's just so worthless,
why, the Indians wouldn't
bother trying to steal it.
Has he ever had any Indian
trouble on any of these trips?
No. N-No, sir, not in the four
years he's been going out there.
But there's always a first time.
A trader was... was
robbed and killed
on the Cimarron Strip
a couple of months ago.
Yeah, I heard about it.
Oh, Mr. Asher's gonna
laugh his head off
when he gets back and...
finds out about all this.
I never heard about
Asher laughing his head off
over anything, Bender.
He's a pretty tough
man to work for, isn't he?
Well, he-he ain't easy.
But I got no complaints.
You know, if he should
have some trouble out there,
happen to disappear
this time or something,
and that girl tells
her story in court,
you're gonna be in a bad spot.
Well, I-I didn't think
she still believed all that,
after I showed her
and all what it was.
She still believes it.
Oh... n-nobody else'd
believe a story like that.
I think they might, Bender.
That'd be terrible, Marshal,
folks getting the wrong notion.
Well, I wouldn't
worry about it, Bender.
After all, if he's
made this many trips
without running into trouble,
he probably won't run into it now.
That'd be quite a
coincidence, wouldn't it?
Thanks.
♪♪
- Sam, how are you?
- Doc.
- Morning, Kitty.
- Ah. How are you, Doc?
- Fine.
- How about a beer?
- Thanks.
- Sam, bring Doc a beer.
What's the matter with him?
Oh, um...
he's wrestling a bear.
It's, uh, you know, one
of those inside bears.
Oh.
Who's winning?
Well, I can't tell yet.
- He's, um, just in the middle.
- Mm.
Maybe he ought to
have another beer
to kind of keep up his strength.
Sam, bring Festus another beer.
Much obliged, Doc.
Oh, you heard that, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Heard everything you've said,
but I'm... just a
little busy thinking.
Well, would you care to
reveal your conclusion?
No, but I'll tell you
what I've decided.
There just ain't no way a
woman can be figured out.
And there ain't a one of
'em that can be trusted
as far as you can throw 'em.
Well, that's the same conclusion
he had when he came in.
Yeah, but I got
it twice as stout
since I've had time to
study on it for a spell.
By golly, I think he's
got something there, too.
Well, of course he has.
And he gets his opinion from
the same place that all men do...
The bottom of a beer mug.
Oh-ho, Kitty, sounds to
me like this must be your day
for riling up the
customers, huh?
- You want a beer?
- No, no, thanks.
You know, Matt,
Festus has just rendered
some revealing observations
on womanhood in general.
I ain't did no such a thing.
I was just telling them
the pure truth about 'em.
You know how April's
been acting to me, Matt,
running off mad like she's
did, and then making up
that fool story about what
she's supposed to have saw.
Uh-huh.
Doc, uh, April been
a patient of yours?
Well, yes, from
time to time. Why?
How about her eyes?
Well, they're very pretty.
Yeah, I know, but I mean, uh,
she ever had any trouble seeing?
Well, no, none that I know of.
She sure wasn't a-seein'
too good yesterday evenin'.
Did you see Argus Asher when
he brought those pelts over there?
Sure. He's the one that
bought 'em off of me.
I doubt he's there now, though,
'cause he was supposed
to leave last night on a trip.
Yeah, that's what he told the
night man at the livery stable.
Said he came over and
got his horse about 7:00.
Sure. That's the way he's
always did... leave the night before,
and then Grody follows him
the next day in the wagon.
Yeah. Grody left
town this morning
with a wagonload of trade goods.
Well, there ain't nothin' out
of the ordinary at all, Matt.
Well, now, there
were three barrels
still over there in the
back of that warehouse.
April said there was
a whole lot of barrels.
Yeah, that's right.
Uh... last night there was
six or eight of them there.
Did you ever hear of anybody
shipping pelts in a barrel?
No, come to think of it.
No, 'course not...
They'd get moldy if you did.
Well, Bender knows that.
Well, Matt...
you mean you think April really
saw what she claims she did?
That's exactly what
I'm saying, Doc.
Well... then she's the
only witness there are.
Where's she at? I got
to find her right now.
Well, don't worry.
She's all right.
She's up in her
room for the day.
All right? Well, somebody
could slip in there
and thump her on the head, or...
No, I took care of that;
I've got Quint watching her.
Quint?
Matthew...
there's times when I swear
everything and everybody
is just purely
conspiring agin me.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Hold it, Bender.
I-I-I wasn't aimin'
to hurt her, Marshal.
I... I-I just wanted
to scare her,
make her stop telling them lies.
Put the knife on the table.
You know, a flighty-headed gal
could get a man
in a lot of trouble
telling stories
around like that.
Murder can get a man in a
lot of trouble, too, Bender.
Oh, I-I... I told you, Marshal,
I... I-I... I was just
meaning to scare her.
I'm talking about Argus Asher.
You're under arrest.
He-He's gone away on a
trip; you know that, Marshal.
Uh, he's gone out
west to the foothills
to trade with the Injuns.
Look, you're making
a mistake, Marshal.
You... you can't arrest a man.
Why-why, you don't
even have a body.
I figure I will have.
You said Asher took a trip.
I think that's just what he did.
♪♪
♪♪
What brings you out
this way, Marshal?
We'll take a look in your
wagon, if you don't mind.
What for?
We'll see what kind of gifts
you're bringing to the Indians.
Just trade stuff,
same as always.
Now, if you aim to
look, I can't stop you.
You looking for
something particular?
That's right.
Where's Asher?
He's up ahead... I haven't
caught up with him yet.
Then what's his
horse doing here?
Well, the pinto's a mite
lame; he took another horse.
I'm trailing this one
along to walk it out of him.
Well, looks like we
found our man, all right.
How'd you figure to do it, dump
him out in the prairie somewhere
and shoot a few arrows into him?
I knew that Bender
would talk if he got pushed.
You're under arrest, Grody.
I know'd he was
your pigeon, Matt,
but, golly Bill, he
was flying my way.
Looks like old Grody
shot us a rum barrel.
I know'd he is
watering down that rum.
♪♪
Just a minute.
What in tarnation is that thing?
Well, what do you think it is?
It's a chair, you little ninny.
A chair? Looks more
like a-a bear trap to me.
Bear trap?
It's a chair, and
a dang good one.
It ain't one of them spindly,
puny little old
store-bought gimcracks.
I built this myself.
Or... I and Quint did.
Well, go on, set
down, try it out.
Go on, set down!
Don't reckon the glue'd
had time to set yet.
Uh, April, don't... fret, now.
I'll go to work and
build you another one,
twice as big and twice as stout,
with beaver pelts and muskrat...
and when you...
Thank you for
your chair, Festus.
Well... let's just
don't stand around.
Help me pick up the pieces.