Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 7, Episode 19 - Catawomper - full transcript

Chester is getting home-cooked meals from, and giving guitar lessons to, a spirited young woman who hopes thereby to make her estranged sweetheart jealous.

Starring James
Arness as Matt Dillon.

Well, lookie there, looks like

about half of Ford
County's here already.

Yeah, looks like we
got here just in time.

- Well, look who's here. Miss Kate.
- Oh.

- Howdy.
- Bert. -Doc.

- How are you?
- Mr. Tassel.

Hey, how's it happen

that the prettiest girl here's
not dancing with anybody?

Oh, why, thank you, Doc,

but I expect to dance later on.

Well, I bet you do.

Chester, there's some cider
over here. What about it?

Uh, I'll-I'll be with
you in just a minute.


You watch out for him.


Uh... Kate, I, uh...

I ain't danced with nobody
yet or nothing like that, and I...

I thought, uh, maybe
that you might, uh...

Well, I'd love to,
Chester, but I-I can't.

Not just yet.

Well... Later.

Yeah, I'll-I'll get some cider.

See there, Pa? It's downright
humiliating, that's what.

Ah, now, now, Bud'll
be along directly.

He-He got delayed somewhere
along the way, no doubt.

He got drunk and his
horse threw him into a ditch

- and he broke his neck.
- Oh, Kate.

Well, that's the only
excuse I'll accept.

Why, he was supposed to
be here over an hour ago.

Honey, you've only
been here 20 minutes.

And I haven't danced yet.

And that's your fault.

Plenty have asked you.

But none of 'em's Bud Bones.

Oh! Bud Bones is the
rudest man I ever met.

Then why don't you get
yourself another beau?

Look at them over there.

Their tongues are
plain hanging out.

All right.

I'll get me another beau.

- She's looking this way, Hank.
- Yeah, I see her.

First time tonight she's
taken any notice at all.

I asked her to
dance once already.

Huh... maybe she
changed her mind.

She's looking awful hard, Hank.

Well, maybe she
did change her mind.

Hang onto my drink.

- Miss Kate, I...
- I'd be delighted, Hank Summers!

Excuse us, Pa.

Boy, it sure is hot in here.

I hadn't noticed.

I'm sweating like a
stuck pig. I mean...

I mean, it's real hot here.

What do you say we go out in
the cool air, Miss Kate? Please?

Well, uh... all right!

Hello, Pat!

Evening, Mr. Tassel.

I don't see Kate nowhere.

Well, have some punch, Bud.

No, thanks. Where's she at?

Well, sh-she'll be back.

Have some punch.

"Be back"?

Now, you wait a minute, Bud...


Hey, Bud.

So, you finally decided to come.

Didn't nobody ever tell
you Kate Tassel's my girl?

I am not your girl!

I'll take care of you later.

Get your hands off me!

Come on, Bud, come on!

Come on!

That's a boy! That's a boy!

Come on, Bud! Come on... Bud!

All right.

- I ain't finished yet.
- Break it up.

Now, you'd better be or you're
gonna spend the night in jail,

both of you.

Now, you just stay
away from Kate.

I got nothing else against you.

I'll see you some other time.

Now, Bud, let's don't have
any more trouble tonight.

All right, everybody,
go on back inside.

Let's get into the dance.

Now maybe you'd like to
tell me just what went on

between you and Hank Summers.

Bud Bones, you're the
rudest, rowdiest, most...

most... Oh. Oh...

- She's done gone and fainted.
- Oh.

She passed plumb out.

Ain't it a shame?

The poor thing.

Well, do something!

Only one thing to do...

There's a horse
trough out back. I...

I'll go dump her in that.

You put me down!

I'll knock your fool head off!

- Kate, you just... Ow! Ow!
- Now, w-wait a minute!

You mangy, barbaric coyote!



What you got there, Olie?

Eh, this little fella lost
his ma somewheres.

He'll get another
one soon enough.

Hey, I thought you was
riding over to Kate's.

Kate was pretty mad last night.

I been thinking maybe I ought

to give her time to
simmer down some.

The only way to deal with
women is like they was a fort...

Storm 'em.

Anybody goes "storming" Kate

is gonna get a sharp
stick poked in his eye.

You scared of her?

Now, you know that ain't it.

What am I gonna say to her?

I sure ain't about to apologize.

Course not. She wouldn't have
no respect for you if you did.


I know.

Just go straight to it.

Tell her right out,
stop acting such a fool.

I'm telling you o-once
and for all, Kate,

now, stop acting such a fool!

I am not a fool!

Kate, honey, you
might've busted my head!

You... barbarian!

Kate, what's got into you?

Now, quit that!
You want to kill me?

If I can.

You want to spend the
rest of your life in jail?

If it meant not seeing
you again, I'd... love it!

Now, that is a fine way
to talk to your sweetheart.

My "sweetheart"?

I'd sooner cozy up to a polecat!

Aw... Kate, honey,

just tell me what I done wrong.

I-I can explain.

Well... you made
me wait an hour,

alone, at the dance.

And then when I was
fainted dead away,

you were gonna throw
me into a water trough...

w-with all those people around.

Bud Bones, you are no gentleman.

I never claimed to be.

Oh, I was never so
humiliated in my whole life.

Aw, Kate, honey... I'm sorry.

But, now, come on, admit it.

You wasn't so dead fainted you
didn't hear what I was gonna do.

Oh, I'll knock your
head clean off!

All right, Kate.

Now, you listen to me.

Mean and ornery and stubborn
as you are, you are still my gal,

and you are gonna stay my gal.

You got that?

I'll be anybody's
gal I want to be.

So don't you come
calling no more!

Kate, if I can't tame you
one way, I'll tame you another.

Now, get this straight:

If I can't come calling,

then nobody's
gonna come calling.

- Hah!
- I mean what I say!

I's gonna be watching!


That's Billy Joe
Cutler, ain't it?

Looks like him.

Well, here goes.
Come on, hyah, hyah.

Billy Joe.

Billy Joe, now, where
do you think you're going?

Well, I, um... I come to
see Kate Tassel, that's what.

Well, now, you know better
than to come calling on my girl.

Bud Bones!

I am not your girl!

Now, you come on
inside, Billy Joe. Now...

you let go of him!

Oh, don't you dare!

Oh! Oh, Billy. Billy!

Why-why you... Oh! I'll...!

Now go on with your courting.

Oh! You...!

You know, Olie,

I can't figure out Kate at all.


Why not?

Well, for one thing,
she's so contrary.

It's like she's
contrary sometimes,

even she don't mean to be.

And when's that?

I don't know.

But underneath
it all, Kate's a...

a sweet, delicate, simple woman.

I know that.

You do?

Here comes another one.

Flowers and everything.

Maybe if you took
a job at a bank,

you'd think of flowers, too.

I'll use his.

Come on, Olie.

Hurry, Bud, hurry.

Hurry, George!

Hurry! Hurry!


Hurry! Come on, leave the horse.

Come on, George.

A mite slow on that one, Bud.



How you doing?

Oh, h-hi, Mr. Tassel.

You got problems, huh?

You and Kate having
a little, uh, set-to?

Yes, sir.

Sounded that way, too.

Mr. Tassel, I know she's
your daughter and everything,

but doggone it, she's
acting plumb unreasonable.

Now, those kind of things
take a little working out.

How long's it take
to make her behave

like a woman
instead of a wildcat?

It takes patience,
Bud, patience.

Hey, Bud?


Come here a minute.

Mr. Tassel, what'll
you take for her?

For Kate?

No, no.

For her.

Old Sunflower?

Well, she ain't no good, Bud.

She only gives about a
quart when she's fresh.

She's plum wore out.

I'll give you ten
dollars for her.

Ten... but she ain't worth it.

She ain't hardly
worth nothing, Bud.

Go on, take it.

She's worth every
dollar of it to me.

Bring her along, Olie.

Come on, girl.

Well, for heaven's sakes.

It's not safe in here.

You know, you're liable
to get spots on your lungs

from breathing that stuff.

Well, I'll get spots on my
lungs this winter for sure

if I don't get it fixed.

I sure admire a man
who looks ahead.

Well, I was really just
doing it for you, Doc.

You know, I don't want
you to around this winter

with the sniffles and
everything in cold weather.

Well, that was very
thoughtful of you.


You, uh, your stove work
all right at your place?

I'll come up and fix yours
for you, if you want me to.

No, no, it's just fine.

I had it fixed last week by
a professional stove-fixer.

But there's no stove-fixer,
for heaven's sakes, Doc.

Anybody can fix a stovepipe.

Well, I'll sure believe that

when I see that
one working again.

Well, it's gonna work, don't
you worry none about that.

You could offer
to loan me a hand,

if you would.

Oh, good heavens,
I couldn't do that.

First think you know,
I'd look like you do,

and then somebody would call
me, some poor devil that was dying.

Then I'd have to go
home and take a bath

before I could get to
him, and there he'd be.

No, no, a doctor's
got to be available

every-every minute.

You know, Doc,

it's a good thing that nobody
was dying last Saturday night.

Well, I was just putting on.

Yeah, putting down, you mean.

Oh, for... What's that?

Hey, hey, look what I found.

It's George Wannamaker.

I think he was running
away with the bank's money.

I'm surprised you caught him

He's so well-mounted.

Oh, man.

Isn't that George Wannamaker?

Well, for heaven's sakes.

Must be his day off.


Hey, what-what's going on here?

If we untie his feet,

maybe we can lynch him
right off the cow's back.

Good idea. Anybody got a rope?

What's going on here now?

Let's get him untied, Chester.

Oh, yes, sir.

Who did this to you, George?

I'd rather not say, Marshal.

Maybe he done it
his self, Marshal.

All right, you men
have had your fun.

Why don't you go on now,
find something else to do?

Go on!

You all right, George?

I'm all right,
Marshal. Thank you.


Well, what should
we do with your cow?

What do we ought
to with his cow?

Well, let's take her over

and tie her up at the
hitch rack, Chester.

Somebody will be
along to claim her.


Honey, why don't
you light a spell?

Well, I don't
feel like lighting.

I feel like going
on the warpath.

Appears to me it'd take less
energy to make up with him.

Make up with him?

After all he's done?

Oh, well... Oh, Pa,

how do you make a
fella treat you like a lady?

Act like a lady.

W-Well, I do,

but sometimes he-he
does or says something

that makes me so darn mad.

Like he put George
Wannamaker on some old cow

and run her into town.

That's what they
wanted Old Sunflower for.


Well, they offered
me ten dollars for her.

She ain't worth more than three.

Oh, Pa, how could you?

Now I'll never
have another beau.

Never as long as I live.

Well, why don't you
make up with Bud?

Solve everything.

A fine father you are.

Mating your only child
with that-that monster.

All right, then why
don't you find somebody

that's rougher than Bud,
somebody he can't beat up.

Oh, Pa, you know
there's-there's nobody in town

who can beat up Bud Bones

except maybe Marshal Dillon.

Marshal Dillon.

Oh, Marshal Dillon?

Hello, Kate.

How are you?

Well, fine. How are you?

I'm fine, thanks.

Oh, Marshal, somebody
bought a cow from Pa,

and I hear she's
in town somewhere,

and they don't want her anymore.

Yeah, I might've
known that was yours.

She's tied up down in
front of the office there.

It's most humiliating, Marshal,

but I'm through with
Bud Bones forever.

He's the rudest, rowdiest,

most uncivilized man I ever met.

He's just the opposite of you.

Why, you're gentle,
and kindly, and brave.

I'll bet you're the
bravest man in all Kansas.

Kate, your cow's
tied up down there.

Chester'll give
you a hand with it.

Uh, aren't you
gonna help me down?

Come on.

Aren't you coming with me?

I'll be along in a few minutes.

I have to go to the
telegraph office.

Thank you.

You certainly are a gentleman.

Now what do you
think she's up to?

Well, I could guess.


She's making a
play for the marshal.


She's a smart gal, Bud.

She's after her a beau that
you ain't gonna go throwing

into water troughs or tying
onto the back of old cows.

Well, I'll be doggoned.


You take your hands
off of me, Bud Bones.

I want to talk to you.

Let go of me.

Will you listen to me?

Now don't you be so mule-headed.

Don't you call me a mule.

All right, you ain't a mule.

You're a stubborn,
ornery female human,

and I ain't gonna have you
fanning around Marshal Dillon.


Got you worried, has it?

Oh, Kate.

Honey, let's don't
fight no more.

You know I like you.

I like every inch
of your ornery hide.

My hide!

Oh, you... you animal!

Now will you listen to me?

Just listen to me.

You come back here.

You ain't gonna
get away with that.

Kate, I'm sick and
tired of your ways.

I reckon there's only
one way to handle you.

- Hey, what are you doing?
- Come here.

You let go of me!

Let go of me!

Quit that! Ow!

Ow! Ow, ow.


I'll kill you.

I'll tear your
heart out for this.

Marshal, arrest him.

He attacked me.

I did no such thing.

Look, I want both of you to come
on down to my office right now.

You're going to put me in jail?

Let's go.

He ought to be
hung, that's what.

It's a disgrace, attacking
women in broad daylight.

What's the world coming to?

Oh, by golly, I-I wasn't
expecting company.

Why didn't you
warn me, Mr. Dillon?

Just kind of taking
my ease here.

Oh, don't fret so, Chester.

My pa, he walks around
like that most all the time.

Well, I ain't your pa.

Kate, sit down.


Now look, you
two, I think... Here.

After this, I'm going
to carry a gun in it.

Isn't there any law in this
town to protect women?

Marshal, Bud Bones is a savage.

Well, you don't act
like no preacher's wife.

You ought to be living
in a jungle somewhere.

Now I didn't bring you
two people in here to...

Marshal, there
isn't a man in town

who dares call on me anymore.

Now wait a minute, I
think you two people

ought to just stay away
from each other for a while

till you cool off.

That's all right with me.

'Cause I'm through
with her anyway

for good.

Why, that is the best
news I've heard in years.

Marshal, I was
wondering if you'd like

to come out to dinner
some night real soon.

'Cause I am a pretty good cook,

if I do say so myself.

Well, thanks, Kate,

but I don't think you
better count on me.

Oh, well.

Is it all right if I go now?

You want to take
your cow with you?


That is, if Mr. Bones has
quite finished with her.

I don't care about the cow.

Well, is that her cow?

Yeah, you want to give
her a hand with it, Chester?

Did you bring your
buggy or something, Kate?

It's up the street.

Thank you, Marshal.

Sure, Kate.

Come on, Bud,
I'll buy you a beer.

Well now, by golly,

and I thought you
was gonna lock me up.

I would if I thought
it'd do any good.


There we go. Oh.

Thank you.

Oh, that poor beast.

Oh, you didn't have to
worry none about her.

She's a lot of water
and all kinds of hay

while she's been here.

Thank you, Chester.

You're grateful, aren't
you, Old Sunflower?

Come on, I'll just tie
her onto the back here.

You're gonna have to
go kind of slow though.

Well, I'm in no hurry.

One good thing about it though,

Bud Bones had
to pay ten dollars.

He paid ten
dollars for this cow?

I wish it'd been more.

Well, there.

That'll hold her all the
way to San Francisco,

if you want to go that far.

San Francisco.

I've always dreamed about
going to San Francisco.

Well, why don't you, you know?

Y-You're free.

You bet I'm free.

I can do anything I want to.

Yeah, well, I'd suggest that
you take the cow home first.

She might slow you
down considerable.

Um, Chester,

you've never had any of
my home cooking, have you?

Ooh, now, wait a minute, Kate.

I don't want to get
mixed up in any of this.

Pa shot a goose last week,
and it's been hanging ever since.

It ought to be about
right for eating,

say, uh, tomorrow evening.

Now, I told you, I don't
want to get mixed up in it.

Goose goes awful good with

fresh blueberry pie.

Oh, fresh blueberries.


If you're not too full from
eating all that roast goose

and candied sweet potatoes
and peas and beans...

The way I make 'em
with little bits of fried pork.

Just kind of all
chopped up in 'em and...

a lot of buttermilk.

Oh, all you can drink.


Yeah, well, okay.

Oh, here, let me help you.

I'll-I'll see you tomorrow
evening about 6:30.


Uh, well, I-I guess that, uh,

just one time
won't hurt nothing.

Oh, Chester, don't
forget to bring your guitar.

My guitar?

Yes. I want you to
teach me to play it

and to sing, too, okay?

Oh, yeah.


Get enough to eat, Chester?

Oh, golly.

I did. I sure did.

Oh, there's plenty
more in the oven.

Oh, I just don't think I could
use any more right now.

Thanks a whole lot.

Well, then, we
better go to work.


Chester's gonna teach me
how to play the guitar and...

and sing, Pa.

Well, now, ain't that nice.

Mm-hmm. Come on.

Yeah, all right.

Mr. Tassel, I just
ain't eat like this

in I don't know when.

Yeah, well, it's good for you.


Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, don't do that, Kate. No.

Well, set up here and
start teaching me then.

Well, I'll tell you, I'm
just so full of goose

and stuff and then
blueberry pie that I...

I don't think I can hardly see.

Oh, you're not so
full of goose and stuff

that you can't see
to-to play the guitar.

Well, I don't know
hardly how to begin here.

Come on, come on.

Well, you-you just
start singing something,

and I'll watch to...
so I know how.

I feel kind of silly. Uh...

Maybe we better start

with something kind
of simple, like, uh...

You know "The Raccoon's
Tail's Got a Ring All Around?"


Well, it's-it's, uh...

It's kind of simple.
It goes like this.

♪ The raccoon tail
got a ring all around ♪

♪ The possum tail goes bare ♪

♪ Rabbit's got no tail at all ♪

♪ Just a little bitty
bunch of hair ♪

♪ Raccoon is a cunning thing ♪

♪ He travels through the dark ♪

♪ Sure to see
him tuck his tail ♪

♪ When he hears
old ranger bark ♪

♪ Possum up a 'simmon
tree, raccoon on the ground ♪

♪ Raccoon said to the possum,
"Shake them 'simmons down" ♪

♪ Rabbit up the hickory
stump, hiding in the holler ♪

♪ Raccoon in the tater
patch, fat as he can waller ♪

♪ Raccoon tail got
a ring all around ♪

♪ Possum tail goes bare ♪

♪ Rabbit's got no tail at all ♪

♪ Just a little bitty
bunch of hair. ♪

Oh, that's wonderful, Chester!

Ain't done it in a long time.

Now-now show me how to do it.

Well, let's see.
Well, here's, uh...

Now, you see,
here's the E chord.

You start out with... You
put a finger there, see?

- Yeah?
- And one there, and one like that.

- Uh...
- Okay, okay.

- Just see...
- Do I hold it right?

I might have knowed
I'd find you in here.

Well, it was getting dark,

and you hadn't showed
up at the ranch yet,

so I just thought
I'd come into town.

I can tell it's cheered
you considerable.

You want a drink,
you'll have to go get one.

I don't need no drink.

I ain't mooning
over no fool gal.

Now, who said I was?

You ain't worried about Chester?

Now, Olie, you know
Chester as well as I do.

He'll do anything
for a good meal.

And Kate puts out a
good meal, don't she?

But I hear he's been out there

most every night for
the past two weeks.

Well, then he's feeding
real good, ain't he?

You ain't even jealous?

Now, Kate ain't
Chester's kind of woman.

I don't mean nothing
against either of 'em by that.

She's got something in mind.

She ain't feeding him
regular for nothing.

Well, if it ain't
making you jealous,

then what could
she have in mind?

Oh, I don't know.

Hello, Bud.

- You better drink up.
- Miss Kitty.

We're gonna close.

- Hello, Olie.
- Miss Kitty.

Uh, Miss Kitty, would
you set down for a minute?

I want to ask you something.

Well, all right, for a minute.

Uh, now, Miss Kitty,

you're a woman with spirit,
so maybe you can help me.

I'll try.

Now the way I figure it,
a woman's like a horse.

Well, without spirit,
she ain't no good.

And it takes a man
with a lot of juice

to tame a woman
like that, now, don't it?

Well, it's one way of
putting it, mm-hmm.

Well, now, I've
tried everything.

I've throwed her
into a water trough.

I've hurrahed her suitors.

I've even took her
across my knee,

and do you know she
still won't act decent?

She's got him running
around in circles, Miss Kitty.

Well, Bud, um...

um, about the only
thing I can tell you is, uh,

well, that, um,

maybe brute force isn't
the way to this lady's heart.

Um, you know, all
women are different, and

well, maybe you ought to try
being a little gentle with her.

Um, do you understand
what I mean?


Um, well,

I'm afraid that's about all
the advice I can give you now.

Um, I guess you'll have
to figure it out for yourself.

And we really are
gonna close, Bud.

Good night.

- Good night, Miss Kitty.
- Good night, Miss Kitty.

Well, there's no doubt about it.

You're-you're putting
on an awful lot of weight.

Oh, just a pound or two, Doc.

What do you suppose it is?

Are you eating too much, or
are you working less or what?

Doc, when I get
real good and sick,

I'll come up to your office,

and you can ask all
the dumb questions

that you want to at that time.

No, I don't think
you'll do that.

That'd cost you two dollars.

I hear that, uh, big trouble is

that Kate's been cooking
regularly for you, is that it?

I hear she's a pretty
good cook, too.

Oh, well, I guess so.

And I'm in favor of...
of eating good, but...

well, he ought to cut
the portions down,

at least 50%.

Well, if it'll please you any,

I'll just cut 'em
out all together.

I'm getting tired
of going out there.

Well, I just can't take no
more of them big meals. I...

I just never lived so high
off the hog in all my life.

No, sir.

By golly, I'm just
gonna tell her.

I'm gonna tell her that I just
ain't coming out there no more.

I just want to get real
good and hungry again.

You know?

I ain't enjoyed but the first
meal that I had out there.

Well, life just don't
make no sense at all.

You like the pie, Chester?


Well, I got a few
chores down at the barn,

and I'll be back directly.

Are you trying to
escape my singing, Pa?

Oh, now, not hardly, honey.

I'll be back for most of it.

Uh, you want to go in
the other room, Chester?

You know, Kate...
I-I just been thinking.

You know, you-you
play the guitar real good,

and you sing awful nice,

and I just don't think
you need me anymore.

Why-why, thank you, Chester.

Yeah, you-you play
good enough now

to play for your friends,
or, uh, at your church social,

or just practically anything.

Well, uh, Chester,

would "practically anything"
mean singing in public?

I mean, like, really in public?

Well, church social
is public, yeah.

No, no, I mean where-where
people pay to hear me.

Where I can make a living at it.

Well, I never heard
of such a thing.

Have you ever been
to San Francisco?


I read in a magazine once
where women do just that.

Oh, you mean in one
of them fancy saloons.

Well, yeah, but...

That's where I'm going, Chester.

That's what I've
been learning for.

Well, Kate Tassel, have
you plumb lost your mind?

What is Bud gonna
say to all this?

Well, it's because
of Bud that I'm going!

I'm through with him forever!

I'm going to make
a new start in life.

I'm going to be somebody.

And then maybe some
night he'll come in, and...

and see me standing up there,
all dressed up, fine and purty,

with the people
applauding, and...

and men buying
this lady champagne,

and drinking it out of my shoe.

I mean, my slipper.

And-and won't he be sorry then?!

Oh, what is your pa
gonna say about this?

Well, my pa can't stop me.

You know that as well as I do.

Well, I just should have
never come out here.

It's all my fault.

Oh, don't be silly.

Well, I feel like it is,

and I'm-I'm gonna do
something about it, too.

nothing you can do.

Well, there certainly
is something I can do.

I can tell Bud just
exactly what you're up to.

Go ahead and tell him.

I-I don't care.

Bud doesn't mean
anything to me anymore.

Oh, Kate, now
that ain't the truth,

and you know it ain't the truth.

I am going to San Francisco.

And neither you nor Bud Bones
nor anyone else can stop me.

Well... thank you
for the dinner, Kate.

No music lesson?

No, no music lesson.

I got a duty to perform.

Well, you're just
wasting your time.

I'll, uh, say good night to you.

W-Well... well, thank you.

Come in.

Can I come in, Kate?

I told you I didn't want
to see you anymore,

so you turn right around
and go on back home.

I got to talk to you.

About what?

Well, Chester told me you're
going to San Francisco?

What about it?

Is it true, Kate?

Are you really going?

There's no reason to stay here.

Pa don't seem to mind,

and there's no one else
that seems to care a fig.

I don't... think you
ought to go, Kate.

You don't?

No. I sure don't.

W-Why, Bud?

Tell me why.

'Cause that's no place
for a girl like you, Kate.

No place at all.

Entertaining miners

and sailors and riffraff
in San Francisco saloons.

It's no good, Kate.


Kate, honey...

I wear lace all over me compared
to what you'd find out there.

Any gal who's fool enough
to mix in a mess like that

ought to be horsewhipped.

- Horsewhipped!
- 'Cause there wouldn't be

any other way
to set her straight.

Oh, I might have known!


All you can think of
i-is beating people

and drowning 'em...
and horsewhipping 'em!

With a woman like that,
what else could you do?

You sure wouldn't
know, would you?

Well, now what's
rattled your cage?

Oh... why don't you
just get out of here, you...

you savage!

Nothin' I do pleases
you, does it, Kate?!

Nothin', nothin' at all!

That is for sure and certain!

Now, get out!

All right, I will!

A-And this time
I'm not coming back.

I'm through, for good!

Well, that suits me just fine.

I'm... I'm gonna join the army.

Yes, by golly, that's
what I'm gonna do.

Well, you go ahead and
join the army. Who cares?

You think I won't?

You join anything you want
to; it's their problem, not mine.

You think I won't!

Well, by heaven, I'll show you.

I'll ride out to
Fort Dodge today.

Talk, talk, talk, talk!

And it won't be talk
when I'm in uniform.

Darn fool!

He wouldn't last two
minutes in the army.

N-Not two minutes.

We can't stay here
forever, Lieutenant.

Yeah. There's not a horse left.

What do you suggest, Sergeant?

We line the men up and march
them out there in a column?

Golly, I'm sorry, I
know we can't stay here.

I'm blessed if I can see
how we're gonna get out.

Well, come dark, we're
gonna have to make a try at it.

Enough Indians out
there to surround this place

with a brave every 20 yards.

What are you doing here,
Bones? Get back up there.

Now, wait a minute.
What do you want, Bones?

Well, I-I got an
idea, Lieutenant.

Could you spare
me 50 cartridges?

50 cartridges?

That's like asking for gold.

Just what do you got in mind?

Well, I was thinking...

if a man could sneak up
there behind them Indians,

the powder from 50 cartridges

could give them a
walloping surprise,

and then the rest of the men

would stand a better
chance of rushing them.

Well... it's worth a try.

Well, sir, I'm-I'm ready.

Good luck to you, Bones.

We'll cover you.



- Huh?
- Chester, I-I want you to take the buggy

back to the ranch for me.

Well, where are you going so
all dressed up and everything?

Well, I-I'm gonna take
the noon stage to Pueblo.


Well, it's on the way to
San Francisco, isn't it?

Oh, now, just a minute, Kate,

you ain't really gonna
do that, now, are you?

- Yes, I am!
- Well, I...

And-and I want you
to give this note to Pa.

Now, Kate, I didn't
teach you to play the gui...

Take it!

Why shouldn't I go?

Bud Bones ran off and
joined the army, didn't he?

A-And I'll never see him again.

And I never want to!

Now, you take me to
the stage office. Please.

Mr. Dillon?

You think he can stop me?!

- Mr. Dillon?
- Yeah?

What's the trouble?

Oh, hello, Kate.

Wait a minute.

Patrol, halt.


Hello, Marshal.

Well, looks like you
ran into some trouble

- out there, Lieutenant?
- Yeah, we did.

I didn't want to bring
the patrol through town

looking like this, but...

it's the shortest
way to Fort Dodge,

and we got a
wounded man with us.

Well, you can take him up
to Doc's here if you want to.

No, he's a stubborn
man, Marshal.

He insists on riding,
and all the way to the fort.

Private Bones saved our lives.

- Bud Bones?
- Yeah. You know him?



Bud... Bud, you're hurt!

It ain't nothin'.

But... you've been shot.

Kate, you get
back to your buggy.

This here's the army.

I-I don't care about the army.

Are you gonna die?

I ain't about to die.

Now, behave yourself.

But-but you need care.

Wh-What do they mean
making you ride a horse like this?

Kate, now, don't
you 'cause no trouble.

You do what I say.

Get back to your buggy.

Well, now, do it.

Don't you order me
around, Bud Bones.

Any gal I marry's gonna
have to take orders.


Who said anything
about getting married?

I did.

'Cause I love you, Kate.

You do?

Do you love me, Bud Bones?


Now, you gonna mind me or not?

All right.

I'll do anything you
say... from now on.

Well, looks like a lot of
people know Private Bones.


Well, say hello to
the colonel for me.

I'll do that, Marshal.

Forward... ho!

Well, good-bye,
Marshal, Chester.

Well, where are you going?

I got a man needs taking
care of... out of Fort Dodge.


Come on! Come on, boy!