Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 19, Episode 7 - The Widow and the Rogue - full transcript

J.J. is a charming petty thief being transported to Dodge by Festus, who eventually has to trust him to protect a woman, her young son, and him.


And starring James
Arness as Matt Dillon.

Mr. Honegger,

I don't believe a word
you've been saying.

I swear, I don't.

But if you dare stop, I'll die.

Clarissa, I'm
telling you the truth.

Now, you ask Festus here.

Now, we've known
each other longer than

we'd both like to admit.

He'd tell you if
I wouldn't say it.

Right Festus?

Go on, tell her.

Well, no, ma'am,

there ain't too many fellers

that's got ways with
words like old J.J. has here.

I just can't believe
that you don't know

what a rare thing that you are.

No, I mean a woman
like you is like...

Is like a soft, glowing
candle in the window

on a cold dark night.

And that's the truth.

What a charming thing to say.

Oh, you poor boy.

Well, I deserve these, ma'am.

I deserve what Festus
here is taking me to.

You see, I made
that one misstep,

and I'm gonna pay for it,

and I'm gonna
start all over again.

Of course you will.



This is Elbow Creek Station.

All right, J.J., let's go.

Take good care of
yourself, Clarissa.

It's been a pleasure
knowing you.

Have a good trip, friend.

God go with you, Mr. Honegger.

Oh, I thank you for
that, ma'am, I do.

You treat him kindly,
Deputy, you hear?



Cody, skedaddle.

Don't forget now, Clarissa,

you get one of
those flowery hats,

you know, like I told ya!

I will!

Oh, I will!

I could sure use a drink.

All right, come on.

Of all the clamperated
dribble I've ever heard,

you dang near reached
the tops of my boots.

Oh, Festus, what's the hurt?

It was just about as sincere
as a undertaker's grief

at a five-dollar funeral.

Well, like the man said,

if you can't be sincere,

the least you can
be is charming.

Well, let me tell you something.

You better be saving
some of that charm of yours

for old Judge Brooker.

Yeah, never did work
on that old boy, did it?

Well, course it didn't
work after four or five times,

it didn't.

Hey, Festus.

What do you think
he'll give me this time?

I'd bet Pappy a mule you
don't get no less than two years.

Two years!

Oh, come on, Festus,

for stealing a
rusty old hay rake?

Two years, and
I'll tell you why.

Because all them two
and three and five months

he give you before
never done no good.

There's pretty little
songs in all this silence.

Your work, are they?


Uh, well, I always said that
people who grow flowers

have sunshine in their hearts.


Hey there, feller.

Feller, you're sleeping
your blame life away.


Well, I got beans,
meat, hard-tack,

and rye whiskey.

Whiskey and a stage to Dodge.



No stage to Dodge.

What do you mean, there
ain't no stage to Dodge?

Well, Crowder Pass is closed.

For how long?

Oh, well, flash floods
couple of days ago

filled it with half a hillside.

Be a week or ten
days before it's clear

so the stage can get through.

Well, I got me a
prisoner out yonder.

I gotta get to Dodge City.

Well, I got beans, meat,
hard-tack, and rye whiskey.

And a daughter I
wouldn't leave alone

with anything that wears pants.

Angel of mercy.

Pure and simple.

Simple, maybe.

Leastways, that's what
Pa's always saying.

Well, I'll tell you,

it's a shame you
having to live your life

out in a place like this.

I've heard sweet talk before.

Have you ever heard of Abilene?

Or Cimarron or Wichita?

You'd take me there?

No, not chained to this
here pump, I won't, but I will.

Now, my deputy friend'll be
coming out here pretty soon.

I always had my heart
set on seeing Dodge.

Oh, no, you wouldn't like it.

Time was it was a pretty
good place, but it's changed.


Them charming ways of yourn's
gonna be the death of you yet.

Well, short of costing
me that, Festus,

but I'll be dang if I want
to spend those two years

for stealing a rusty old hay...

Here, just unlock that.

Give me the key.

Let me hear it click.

Well, you don't need me to
make your dreams come true.

You just get on any
stage here coming by.

I have, and Pa's
always drug me back.

Let's go.

Did it ever occur to you

that maybe he brought
you back because...

That you're the
light of his life?

I mean, a man's daughter,
a daughter like you,

is, well, like a soft,

glowing candle in the window...

on a cold dark night.

Come on, Silver
Tongue, let's go.

I'm sure ever so
much obliged to you

for the borrowing of
your horses and all.

Well, as long as them animals

is returned in the same
conditions you got 'em.

Well, it just might be this
one won't get returned.

At least, if things work
out for me, it won't,

but tell you what I'll do.

I'll send ya, what, $30?

Is that fair enough?

Just don't you
fret none, mister.

He ain't fixing to run
off with your horse.

I'll guarantee you that.

Festus, it's a long way across
them badlands to Dodge.

It's sure gonna
seem like a long ways

listening to all
your perlabbering.

Let's go.

I'm glad to see
you're all right, Festus.

Now, wait a minute.

I didn't mean to do that.

My horse spooked on me.

J.J., you're getting
sincere again.

Your horse broke its leg.


You said it just right.

You're a sorry...

On your feet.

That was hard work working
on them railroads, boy.

We come in the big
town once in a while.

A big old fat
politician come out.

He'd want to drive
in the last stake.

He'd take a couple,
three swings at it and miss.

We'd finally end up
having to pound it in for him.

And my daddy would get up there,

he'd say the last...

Prayer, you know?

So much that he didn't...

Get up.

When are you gonna give up?

Festus, you know I'm
gonna keep on trying.

Why don't you give up?

Ain't no way you're
gonna take me back there.

Get on ahead of me.

Stay there.

Throw the keys right.

Now... round that tree.


Hey, no, my horse!

Come back here.

Don't go!


Get back here!

We need that horse, Festus!


It's not over water!

Get back here!

We need a horse!

Don't you know that?

Get back.

Oh, boy.

He's got my dad's
comb, his watch.

We gotta have that horse.

If you're that sure,

brung him back so you
can call him, wouldn't you?

Oh, Festus, come on.

Here, here.

Take off that cuff.

Now throw that key away.

All right!

Snap it on there.

No, Festus.

I ain't shackling myself to you.

Do it, J.J.

Snap it on there.

You know, you shouldn't
have let that horse go.



Oh, Lordy.

We're not gonna make it.

I figure... if you get there,

I'll get there, too.

We won't make it, Festus.

We're not gonna make it.


Easy, J.J.

We're not gonna make
it without that horse.

Just one of us would
have made it, anyhow.

You honestly believe
I'd run off and left you?

You honest believe I
don't know you woulda?

I'd have sent you help.

Of course you would.

You'da hoped
that they'd find me,

but you wouldn't a

lost more than a night or
two of sleep if they didn't.

Yeah, so,

now neither one of us makes it.


told me to bring you in.

That's what I'm fixin' to do.


Which way is in?

According to the sun,

east ought to be
that way, Northeast.

Dodge is somewheres
in that line.

Let's go.

If I'd known old Drew
Naremore's hay rake

would have brought
me to this place,

I'd probably still
would have stole it.


My daddy, he used
to stand up there

in that pulpit of
his and roar down

at all us sinners telling us

how we're all gonna die
in the fires of perdition.

He'd be telling
all of us, but...

he'd be looking right at me.

Always looking right at me.

Well, I sure am getting
an early look-see

at what I'm
heading for, I tell ya.



Go on, J.J.

Keep goin' where?

To Dodge.

Which way do you think that is?

Come on, let's try this way.

Wait, I hear some water.

Look, look.

There's water.

Come on.

Come on, get
them plugs up there.

Good old cold water.



It's the desert bandits.


Yeah, Judd, have
all the fun you can,

'cause you're not getting
any more for a while.

The comancheros,
Festus, shh, shh.

I bet you was
always all whiskey.

All right, come on.


Come on, get out of there.

Come on, let's try
and get out of here.

Come on, get out of here.


Come on, get on, ha!

Come on, let's git.

Keep going.

I tore some of my innards.


Howdy, boy.


You can't be from around here.

Where are you from?


Wagon's over yonder.


You happen to come across
a man the last couple of days?

He's a big man.


Brown hair.

No, we didn't see anybody.

What are you doing?

You out hunting?


And you have any luck?


You a pretty good shot.

Good enough.

Think you're pretty good enough

to shoot this chain
in two from there?

I reckon.

This here is my prisoner.

I chained myself
to him a ways back.

I didn't want him to
run off and leave me.

You see, I twisted
my ankle a ways.


Well, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

I got a gold watch
in my pocket here.

It's worth a dollar.

It's yours if you
shoot this chain in two.

What'd you get arrested for?

Oh, you wouldn't believe it.

I stole a hay rake from
some man I was working for.

And that's the truth.

Looks like he's gone
through an awful lot

just to arrest you for stealing

a hay rake that wasn't yours.


Yeah, I'd say so.

He is a duty-bound man.

They make a mean enemy.

Name's Caleb.

Mine's J.J.


What do you say, huh?

Dollar gold watch is yours.

We've got us
needfuls off the wagon.

Running short, but
there's enough to share.

I am pretty hungry.

I imagine old
Festus is here, too.

A little more?

My, I tell you, Mrs. Cunningham,

hungry like I am,

you don't say nothing about
how good these beans taste.

I tell ya, I've never been
served by anybody prettier

in a long, long time.

More beans, Mr. Honegger?

Yeah, if you please.

Thank you, ma'am.

You know, Caleb,

being the son of a farmer

in a schoolhouse full
of cattlemen's kids,

I tell you, it's gotta
be just about as bad

as being a preacher's
kid anywhere.

That ain't why we left.

Pa said there's better
farmland in Nebraska.

Yeah, sure.

Better than that farmland
in Texas you come from,

that's for sure.

How soon you figure
your man will be back,

Mrs. Cunningham?

Should be back any time.

If you don't mind me saying so,

I think it was a mistake

him going off to look for help.

Why is that?

Well, first off, there
isn't any for miles,

and, well, I mean, if he did
find somebody to help him,

how would he find his way back?

I don't mean any disrespect

to your pa or anything, but...

it's big country, and...

Luke'll be back...

with help.

What's going on out here?

Just getting some water.

Figure the sooner
he comes around,

the sooner I could
quit having to carry him.

Would you mind giving me a hand?

I'm not gonna bite ya.

Here... we'll give him that.

Ma'am are you low on food?

We'll get by.

Would you mind telling me

how long your
husband's been gone?

Three days.

Three days.


I could rig up one of
them Indian carrying beds

for Festus here,

and you and the boy could ride.

In turn, we could
get out of here.

Luke'll be back.

"Luke'll be back.
Luke'll be back."

He's been gone three days.

I'd fret on the odds of that
happening if the boy were mine.

Of course, then
again, if he was mine,

I wouldn't have gone off
and left him in the first...

It might interest you to know

that Luke went for
help because I insisted.

He didn't want to go.

Yeah, well, I figured
you'd have a good man.

Maybe not the wisest,

but you'd have a good one.

You know, Mr. Honegger?

A man like you just
wouldn't understand

the importance of giving a boy

a home with roots, possessions.

Everything we own
is in this wagon.

Luke will be back.

He said he would, and he will.


Ma, he's gone!

He took the horse!

So he stolt your horse, did he?

Appears like he
sweet-talked you out of a pair

of cutting tools, too.

He tried.

Blame sure believe that.

What are you doing, Deputy?

Why, you lie back here.

You just lie back.

You're gonna do
yourself more harm.

Those ribs could be splintered.

Blame sure feel like it.

Well, I wish there was
something I could do

to make you feel better.


My name's Martha Cunningham.

Festus Haggen, ma'am.

My son, Caleb.

Pa took Ulysses' S.
To go fetch some help.

Your prisoner stole Mr. Grant.


That's what we call our horses,

Ulysses S. and Mr. Grant.



There's a chance ol' J.J.'ll

send somebody back to help us.

He's a whole lot of
things, ol' J.J. is, but...

There's a lot of
things he ain't.

He is a fair chance.

I'll get the rifle.

Go see can I shoot
us a rabbit or two.

How long I been here, ma'am.

Caleb found you late yesterday.

He took the rifle
and the box of shells!



♪ Jesus, set me free ♪

♪ Oh, Jesus, let me be ♪

♪ I want to... ♪

Come on, brother.

Come on.

What's the matter?

What spooked you, boy?

Whoa, whoa.

What are you smelling, huh?

What's spooking you, huh?

Come on, boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh no.

You stay, boy.


You poor dumb farmer.

Why the hell did
you pick this way?

You dumb farmer.

Any way on the compass
I could have come.

What'd I pick this way for?

'Bout out of vittles, ain't you?

Onliest thing I
was trying to say is

it's something that
ought to be thought on.

Seeing as we ain't
got us no horse,

it's gonna be mighty slow going.

Luke'll be back.

Stove up like I am,

Dodge'll be five
or six days off.

Why do you think
you could make it?

- One of them...
- Ma'am,

it's either trying
or turning to dust

right where I sit.

Now, as far as I can see,

we ain't got us no druthers.

Wagon, our belongings.

We can send somebody
back to fetch 'em.

Why, Luke will get here.

We'll all be gone.

Now, can your man read writing?

Well, you can leave
him a letter in the wagon

telling him where we went.

It's that there boy that's
to be thought of now,

don't you see?


Just the rest of the day.

Tomorrow'll be soon enough.

Give you time to get
your strength back.


Ma, Mr. Haggen, look!



Three of 'em.

I can't make out
if Pa's with them.

I guarantee you he ain't.


Get him over
yonder in them trees.

Both of you, go
over there and hide!

Don't stick your
heads out. Go on.

Who are they?

Comancheros, now git.

- Hurry up.
- What about you?

- Don't, no way I can run now.
- Come on, Caleb, hurry up.

Hurry up!

Well, I cut that
pretty close, didn't I?

Close enough.

I couldn't figure out
whether to try it or not.

You been setting
up there watching?

And I tell you one thing,

if they hadn't have
lit out, I would have.

Thing I can't puzzle out

is why you came
back in the first place.

Mr. Honegger?

I found...

Caleb, I want you
to get all the food,

all the water we can
carry, and get me an ax.

Now get going, we're
getting out of here.

Providence is what it was.

Yes, ma'am, providence.

Festus, I'm gonna rig up one

of those Indian
carrying beds for you.

You ain't gonna make
me believe that you

all of a sudden got religious.

How you feeling?

Think they'll come back?

Yeah, they'll be back,

but we won't be here.

Well, I'd better
write Luke a note.

There won't be no need, ma'am.

Your husband's dead.

I found him.

It had to be them comancheros.

How do you know?

I know.

You don't know it's my husband.

He was a big man,
calloused hands, a farmer.

He had a mustache
and brown hair.

Spitting image of the boy.

That's all the talking about it.

Give me that ax, boy.

Now, you go do what I told you.

Ma'am, I'm gonna
need this canvas here.

Wait a minute, where is he?

Can't we at least bury him?

Ma'am, we take time to bury him,

we could be burying ourselves.

Now, let's go.

Wasn't really so obvious,

that old metal hay rake.

Yeah, I know.

I was just having some fun.

You see, I worked for this
man named Drew Naremore,

and he had a neighbor
named Otto Fry,

and Otto Fry and Drew Naremore
used to argue all the time.

I mean, they been feuding
seem like before creation.

They hadn't said 10
words to each other

in about twice that many years.

So, I took that hay rake

and I sold it to Otto Fry.

Boy, I tell you, you should
have seen those two go at it.

Thought it was pretty
funny at the time,

but it's not two years funny.

If you just tell
that to the judge...


Judge Brooker and I,
we've faced each other

a number of times before, and...

Well, I think he's just tired
of looking at me, that's all.

I still don't think
it was so awful.

Boy, I wish there was some way

you could sit in Judge
Brooker's chair this one time.

You know, that's
interesting and all,

but wouldn't it be simpler
just to shoot us a rabbit?

Simpler, maybe,

but it'd be simpler for those
comancheros to find us, too.

Did they shoot my pa?

Yeah, they shot him.


I read in penny dreadfuls
about comancheros.

Someday, they'll pay for it.

Someday, somehow,

I guess everybody
pays for everything,

one way or another.

That sounds like him.

Like my pa.

Was you ever somebody's pa?


No, I was never anybody's pa.

I always thought
maybe I'd like to be,

but I don't know.

I'm not much of
anything to anybody.

You take this down there

and set it in the
rabbit run for me.

'Bout done?

Just about.

Mr. Honegger.


I sure do want to thank you.

There's no need.

If I had any smarts, I would
have been gone a long time ago.

But it didn't happen that way,

and I'm just real grateful.

For Caleb, I'm grateful.

He'll be all right.

His pa taught him independence.

That's good.

Has such a prize.

Have you noticed

he hadn't even cried?

Yeah, I noticed.

You know, Luke was
just a real good man,

and I'm gonna miss him.

I'm gonna miss him,

but like Caleb, I
can't cry for him.

That's just so sad.

To be married to
a man for 15 years

and to work with
him side-by-side

in the heat and the cold, and...

And not to cry at his passing?

Well, some don't even know
the likes of those 15 years.

That's sadder.

Is them comancheros?

Boy, it's times like right now

when you hear a old
quail and the meadowlark

talking to one another,

smart folks takes a
tight hold on their scalps.

Where are they?

We'll know quick as
J.J. gets done scouting.

He's sure more of a
man than he first seemed.

Well, like I told you, ma'am.

Ol' J.J., he's a lot of things.

He just can't -

make up his mind which one he...

- How many is it?
- Four.

What will we do?

Why don't you get out of
here, and I'll catch up with you.

Go on, move, move, move.

I'll be able to
follow those tracks.

- J.J.
- Go on! Get moving!

Watch out.

Come on.

Quick as you all's done eatin',

we'd ought to get to gettin',

because we got
us a far piece to go.

Can't we wait a little longer?

I'm feared he'd have came by now

if he was a-comin'.

Won't hurt to wait
just a little while longer.

He could of had trouble
following the tracks in the dark.


I reckon he could, at that.

I hope he's run off.


that's more'n likely
just what he's done, boy.

Put a stopper to
them comancheros

and lit out.

If he did, it was
the judge's fault.

Now, now, now, hold on.

Hounding him all over the place

just because he was a-funnin'

a couple of cranky old coots.

- They hadn't spoke...
- Whoa, boy, whoa now.

Ain't no sense in
you getting all...

Festus, don't stop him now.

I need all the voices I
can get speaking for me.

You scutter, you...

How long you been up there?

Oh, long enough to realize that

I'm not so bad as I've been
led to believe all these years.

Don't stay up there
fluttering your gums.

Come on.

We got us a long
ways back to Dodge.

Oh, I don't know, Festus.

I mean,

not much of a future
for me in Dodge.

Well, J.J.,

I reckon you're gonna have to be

the one deciding
on that your own self.

What in Sam Hill?

Get that thing out of my face.

Not whilst I'm deciding
to blow your head off.

Now, you just
simmer down, mister.

You see this here badge?


Who are ya?

Who are they?

My name's Festus Haggen.

I'm a deputy for Marshal
Matthew Dillon in Dodge City.

That there is Ms. Cunningham,

her boy Caleb.

That there is J.J. Honegger.

Who's J.J. Honegger?

Him right...

Oh, now where did
that slippery little gunk

get off to now?

Our horse is gone, too, Festus?

That old Judge Brooker
can go crow for old J.J.

He ain't ever gonna
get him for taking that old

Drew Naremore's hay rake.

Let me give you a hand.

Easy, easy, that's the bad rib.

What the... Why don't you
look where you're going?

You're like a blamed old
wall-eyed buffalo in a henhouse.

Well... Where you been, anyway?



You were supposed to
let me look at those ribs.

You done had your
last look at them ribs,

you clammy-handed old quack.

Well, that's just fine.

I'll send you my bill.


Well, you done got all
the money in Ford County.

How much more do you want?

Just what I've
earned, that's all.

Earned, the pokin'
and the proddin',

and the poundin' them
little old pink pink pills.

You ought to be
throwed in jail...

- Well, Festus.
- Ms. Cunningham.

- Doc.
- Caleb.


How's everything been?

Just fine, Festus,
thanks to you.

Well, you make a mighty
looksome new person in our town,

I'll say that.

Well, thank you, Festus.

See you later, Festus.


So long, Caleb.

I'll tell you, Doc.

That there is a lady with a mess

of proper class-someness.

If I was ten years...


Oh, you wouldn't
know what that means.

- I'll tell you to take...
- Oh, Matt!

Hold it.

Say, the day before yes...

What in tarnation?

It's that Honegger feller

that got away from you, Festus.



Mind if I explain later?

That there is the
Cunninghams' wagon.


Uh, I got some things to do.

Marshal, I promise
you I'll be back.


Well, I reckon it's all right.

Oh, where's Mrs. uh...

Well, you might try
looking right yonder

in the Dodge House.

I'll be back later tonight.

Oh, hold on here.

Hold on.

I've seen that
white horse before.

Yeah, that's right,
Doc. I stole it.

You what?

Yeah, that left wheel there
on the rear, I stole it, too.

There wasn't any other way.

J.J., can't you get it through
that thick head of yourn

that you can ask
to borry something.

You don't have to be
stealing it all the time.

Well, I...

Now, just supposing
you can go up to a farm.

Say, I'd like to get
me the loan of your...

Festus, you remember
that farm I left you at?

Well, they didn't have the
right size wheel there, you see?

So, I went looking
for it, and I found it at...

Ask, J.J.

That's the onliest thing
you got to do, is ask.

I couldn't, Festus.

Why not?

'Cause there was no
way on God's green earth

that Drew Naremore would
have believed me, that's why?

They're stolen from
Drew Naremore?

I just don't believe it.

Stay tuned for exciting scenes

from our next Gunsmoke.