Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 16, Episode 21 - Cleavus - full transcript

Frequent director Robert Totten steps in front of the camera for the title role (some sources say he directed himself, but Vincent McEveety gets the credit). Cleavus, an old friend of Festus, has been dogged by poverty and hard luck all his life. He stumbles into a gold mine looking for help -- only to accidentally kill the miner. While driving the miner's corpse to a farm for burial, Cleavus finds $200 worth of gold dust -- a big chunk of money for 1873 -- in his clothing. This gives Cleavus an idea. In Dodge, he learns that the miner's claim hadn't been registered yet and falsely claims title to it himself. With his new money, he buys fancy store clothes and affects himself as a dandy. He even begins paying court to Kitty Russell. Festus finds out part of the truth about Cleavua and Kitty finds out the rest -- the mine actually held only the limited amount of gold and a lot of iron pyrite -- "fool's gold." Cleavus's luck goes downhill from there.

Announcer: Gunsmoke, Starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.


This old blubbergun
don't look like much,

but it's got a
hair-like trigger.

Turn around.

Let's get a look at ya.

I ain't making no trouble.

I'll just eat
something... out here.

Now, hold on.

Hold on.

You don't need to leave.

Them crabapples
is Victoria's, yonder.

She got a stomach
lined with strapiron.

You wouldn't of been eatin'
'em if you weren't starvatin'.

Here, take this.

I ask nobody no favors.

It'd be a hard world if
nobody ever helped nobody.

Go on, eat your fill.

Where you from, son?

Don't call me "son."

Hey, what's the matter with you?

I give you welcome
here, share my grub.

I just don't cotton to...
folks a-picking on me.


Why, that's the last
thing in my mind,

picking on anybody.

Now go ahead and eat your grub.


What work you do?

No special kind.

You got to have some special
kind to make out in this world.

I get by.

Now, you take me.

I'm an old man,

and I been poor
all my life, too.

You saying I's poor?

Well, I wouldn't say you
been used to a fancy vest

and easy slippers at night.

- But as I was saying...
- Old man?


I don't believe I'll be eating
on your grub no more.

I don't need it.

Well, now... now, son,

you don't have to leave.

I ain't your son!

Mister, are you all right?

It was an accident. A body's...

Watch your step.

Old man?

Old man?



It's gold.


It's all around me.


Old man?

Old man?

You dead for true?

'Cause if you're dead...

Cleavus ain't poor no more.


Yes, sir? What can I do for you
this bright and cheerful morning?

- Could you tell gold?
- That's my job.

You want it assayed, do you?

I just wanna
know if it were true.

Well, where is it?


Make a quick guess you come
down from the Colorado hills.

That's where I should've stayed.

Nice clean work
out in the open...

- Is it true?
- Oh, it's true, all right.

Whereabouts were you panning?


Pannin' pay off?

Of course it did. I
mean, it's right here, huh?

Uh, I figure $12 to the
ounce, raw state it's in.

Well, what would that
be worth in real money?

Oh, what you got
here, uh... close to $200.

Two hundred... Oh.

Oh, yes, thank
you. Thank you, sir.

- I'm much obliged.
- Oh, that'll be a 50-cent fee, mister.

Sorry, mister, a nickel
ain't quite enough.

That's all the real money I got.

Well, a pinch will,
uh, do the trick.

A pinch?

Yeah. We're square.

A penny or two either way.

Hold on just a minute here.

Do you mean I can just spend
all of this here, just like that there?

Good as gold, mister. The saying
don't come from no empty hat.

Oh, yes, sir.

I'm obliged, sir. I...

I truly am.

I truly am, yes, sir.

Festus: Cleavus?

Hi, mister. What would
you be asking for a beer?

A nickel.

I believe I will.


Is that you?

Cleavus, this here's
me, Festus Hagen.

Well, golly Bill!

If it ain't!

- Cleavus, you old rat-skinner, you!
- Festus!

Festus! Festus.

Cleavus, you're a sight
for a feller's eyeballs.

That looks like
quite a reunion there.


Kitty, it's about time for me
to be catching my train out.

- I'll see you in a day or two.
- I hope the trial goes well, Matt.

- I don't see any problems.
- Good.

Well, you just made me just all
get a warmed-up feeling inside,

you old skudder, you sure did.

What in the tarnation
you doing here in Dodge?

Oh, I just, I don't
know, Festus.

I just traveling and bumping a peg
down the road. Just drifting, you might...

Well, stomping...
What's that you...

It's a badge. That's a
marshal's badge you got on.


Appears like you did
yourself right proud, Festus.

Oh, fiddle, it ain't...
Oh, Cleavus...

Miss Kitty, I want you to meet

my best friend when
we was knee-high.

Cleavus, this
here is Miss Kitty.

Miss Kitty, this here
is Cleavus Lukens.

Happy to meet you, Cleavus.

I'm most honored, ma'am.

It's always a pleasure to
meet an old friend of Festus's.

Sam, a couple of beers for
these gentlemen, on the house.

Oh, you don't have to
be doing that, ma'am.

But I want to. Nice meeting you.

Much obliged, Miss Kitty.

Festus, she shouldn't
have ought to do that for us.

Do what?

You and me ain't no charity.

Well, just a couple of beers.

I ain't charity no more.

You got you a place
to stay, have you?

No, not rightly.

See, I got me two
jobs here in town.

Deputy, and part of the time

looking out after the stable for
old Hank whilst he's out of town.

It ain't too bad
of a place to stay

if you don't mind havin' a
livery roof over your head.

Well, if it's good enough for you,
Festus, it sure is good enough for me.

All right, sir.

- Here we go.
- Festus?

Now, that pretty redheaded lady,

would she be owning this place?

Miss Kitty? Yeah,
this here's her place.

Well, it's plumb elegant.

It surely is elegant.

It's the best there is in Dodge.

- You know something, Festus?
- What?

I'm tired of being poor.

You don't... look
poor to me, Cleavus.

That's 'cause you and
me is friends, Festus.

You betcha we are.

Come on! Come on.

Now, where are these
diggins of yours, now?

Huh? This here
your outfit, is it?

I been going on
down the road with it.

Prospecting some?

Could say.

Had a bit of luck, have you?

You might say.

You recollect that old
cabin my daddy built

out yonder on the
Picketwire River?

Up on the Picketwire River.
Why, I can't never forget that.

And you coming to live
with us all that one winter.

The times we had.

Ah, them there was
good times, Cleavus.

No, it weren't, Festus.

Remembering, recollecting good times
the way you's telling it... not at all.

We had us a heap of
good things there, Cleavus.

Always plenty of
good vittles to eat,

big wide open
prairie to hunt on,

and creeks to fish
in, and a home,

and folks that took care of us.

- Why, we just...
- No, you did. Not me.

Don't you remember?

My folks just passed
me off to live with you.

I could never get on good
with my folks, never did.

But that don't make
no never mind now.

Tired to the bone of
living like a mangy dog.

Folks stepping up to a
growed man and saying "boy."

Folks stepping up to a
growed man and saying "son."

And then just treating me like trash
'cause you ain't... you ain't got nothing.

Well, that old dog
won't hunt no more.

No, siree, that
old dog won't hunt.

'Cause I got me a plan.

Cleavus Lukens has got
himself a plan starting tomorrow.

Yes, sir.

What's so funny?

Well... it ain't
funny maybe, just...

recollecting that always
was your favorite saying,

that only you're doing
something tomorrow,

something's bound
to happen... tomorrow.

There never were no good todays.

I'll make a plan for tomorrow.

What is this here
new plan of yours?

How would a body like me...

go about filing a claim
right here in Dodge City?

Well, I reckon you
just go on over yonder

to that government land
office and talk to them fellers.

But, Cleavus, folks has been a-poking
around all over this part of the country

for a right smart of years,

and I never have saw nobody
come up with a pinch of gold.

Festus, my mind's plumb made up.

Set hard.

You always did have a
hard-settin' mind, Cleavus.





Tickle your toes
and tuck 'em in tight.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.


Yeah, well...

Well, good afternoon, Cleavus.

Um, Doc,

I don't think you've met a very
dear and old friend of Festus's.

- Oh.
- This is Cleavus Lukens.

- Cleavus, this is Doctor Adams.
- Well, I'm glad to know you, Mr. Lukens.

Well, just call me
Cleavus, I don't mind that.

Well, fine. Cleavus it
is. Here, pull up a chair

and have some
coffee with us here.

Oh, no slight, but thank you,
sir, I got things I have to do.

Miss Kitty, ma'am,

I just came by to ask you if I
may buys supper for you tonight.

I mean, you have
to eat somewhere.

Well, yes, I do, but...

We don't have to be alone. The
doctor here can come, and even Festus,

Oh, well, uh, Doc?

Oh, it's fine with me. Fine.

Well, that's very nice of you,
Cleavus, we'd be delighted.

Yes, ma'am.

I'll call tonight.

Looks like you got a new suitor.



- Golly, Bill, Cleavus.
- Festus.

You went and got yourself a
whole new set of clothes, didn't you?

I just bought 'em.

I figure to take 'em off
and save 'em for tonight.

Is there something special
going on tonight, is there?

Uh-huh, I'm taking
Miss Kitty out to supper.

What are you gawking at?

Just kinda took
backwards, I reckon.

Well... Well, you
got an invite, Festus.

You can come along. I mean,
the doctor man is coming along.

It wouldn't be fitting and
proper for Miss Kitty and me

to just be left out there alone
the first time out, you know?

First time?!

Well, Festus,

I got my eyeball peeling
Miss Kitty, kind of serious.

What brings you
to Dodge, Cleavus?

I been figuring on some business.
Going into business maybe.

Anything in particular
you have in mind?

Yes, sir, mining.

Cleavus, he's a-fixing to file
him one of them claims, Doc.

Done did it this afternoon.

Mining claim?

All fittin' and proper.

Well, I sure do wish you a lot of
luck. I hope you'll be very successful.

Well, I'm thanking
ya. I reckon I will.

Oh, here. Here,
Hank, let me have that.

Oh, no, no. No, no.

Doctor, I... I got to pay this.

I don't have what you'd
call real folded money.

Well... But I got
this here. Here.

- Gold dust.
- Uh-huh.

And if there's any overpayment there,
you just glom onto that for yourself.

Oh. Thank you, sir. Thank you.

I don't, uh, I don't
mean to be curious...

but did you come by that
gold around here someplace?

That's... kinda my secret.

Oh, well... well, yes,
I can understand that.

You know, I've got
some calls to make.

I guess maybe I
better... Yes, I better go.

Well, I think we've all
got things we got to do.


Miss, Kitty?

I'd be much obliged if I could
walk you back to the Long Branch.


Well, that would be very nice.


Do you reckon old Cleavus
actually did get himself some gold?

Find it?

Beats me. He sure paid
for that meal with something.

Well. Thank you Cleavus,
and thank you for the supper.

Oh, that were nothing.

That ain't nothing at all.

I just wanna buy
you lots of things.

Lots of things.

Yes, sir.

Night, ma'am.


I got... I got to
ask you something.

Well, go ahead on. Shoot.


Is, uh...

Miss Kitty a married up woman?

What's that?

I said, is...

Miss Kitty a married up lady?

No, she ain't married up.

Is she fixing to be married up?

How does it come that
you're so blame nosey

about whether she's
fixing to get married up?

'Cause I'm gonna ask her.


You're crazy.

Sure pure O.D. crazy.


I chose her.

My mind's made
up. It's set hard.

Now, just what in a mule's eye

makes you think she'd
wanna marry up with you?

Are you saying that
I ain't good enough?

I ain't saying that at all.

Just that, well, Miss
Kitty, she's special.

You saying I ain't?

You're forgetting who
you got a hold of, Cleavus.

All righty,

just standing right
here, man to man.

Are you telling me

that Miss Kitty is
so extra special

that I ain't as good? That I'm
something down underneath that...

Just a little old toad
walking on down the road.

- I ain't...
- And that you and everybody

in this Dodge City town is... Is
just so much better than I am?

- Is that what you're saying?
- I wasn't saying that.

'Cause if you are, you're
forgetting just something here now.

I got gold.

And that gold...

just makes me as good as her.

Or you... or anybody!

Cleavus is gonna have his way...

just one time.

- Well.
- Hello, Miss Kitty.

Good morning, Cleavus.

I was wondering if...

Can we have a talk?

Well, certainly.

Kinda private?

We can talk in my office.

Yes, ma'am.

Sit down.

Yes, sir.

I was passing by,
and I was wondering...


if'n you would marry me.


I said, I was wondering
if'n you would marry me.

Well, uh...

I think that's very nice, uh...

I think you're a fine man.

Oh, that's the clothes.

I just bought 'em
extra special for you.

Well, I, uh...

I'm very flattered, Cleavus.

But I... I can't accept.

Why not?

Well, uh...

Because... I'm not
in love with you.

I'm terribly sorry, but...

that's the way it is.

Miss Kitty?

Why won't you marry me?

I just told you!


You ain't told me nothing.

You just said you wouldn't.

You didn't tell me why.

But I'll tell you why, it's
just like Festus tells me.

You think I ain't good enough.

Cleavus, that just isn't so.

Don't tell me what ain't so!

I know what's so and what ain't!

Now, hold on!

Now, I told Festus
and I'm telling you,

I'm just as good as
anybody in this stinking town!

Let go of my arm!

Let go of her, mister.

I said, let go of her!

I ain't charity. I ain't
none of y'alls charity!

What are you talking about?

You want me to throw
him out of here, Miss Kitty?

No, Sam, it's...
it's partly my fault.

It's all your fault!

Everybody's gonna walk around like
Festus and pick up crumbs after y'all?


I've got to prove.

Always got to prove everything.


Cleavus Lukens is just
about to prove to y'all

that he's just as
good as you and you

and anybody.

I believe I will.

Oh, how do, sir?

- You the marshal?
- No, sir, deputy marshal.

Is there anything I
can do for you, mister...


Just that my partner
was due in last Monday,

and he ain't at the hotel, and I
figured maybe somebody's seen him.

What's this here
partner of yours look like?

Just a scraggled old hill-rat
with a mule and a pack.

No, I haven't saw
nobody with no...


Got himself a small poke of gold
dust we panned in the Yampa.

Gold dust and a mule.

About this here
mule, Mr. Baylock,

if you was to see him again,

do you reckon you
could spot him all right?

Got the mule after
I last seen him.

Yes, sir.

I'll sure do some checking
into it, Mr. Baylock.

Much obliged.


I got to ask you something.

I got to ask you where you
bought this here mule at.

None of your business.

I believe it is my business.

Suppose you think I stole it.

No, I ain't saying that at all.

Why don't you
mosey on out of here

and go down the road of life...
askin' me all of your questions.

That there is part of
my job, asking questions.

I got it from an
old prospector boy.

Well, he didn't want it no more

and he just give it up to me.

Well, you...


you wouldn't glom
on believin' that,

you just want proof for that,

just like everything else.

Got to... prove
everything to you

and everybody.

Believe me about my claim?

Here's my claim.


I got to see you a second.

All right, Newly.

What is it, Newly?

Old Man Woody sent word he
wants the law out to his place.

Old Woody got troubles, has he?

He found a body in his barn.

Let's get out there.

I thought at first it was
somebody sleeping.

Then I seen the blood on his
head and that he wasn't breathin'.

It's Uriah, all right.

Guess somebody got him
for the gold he was carrying.

Newly, if you'll kind of
look after things here,

maybe take the
body back to town,

I got some things
I better look into.

Yes, sir. You bet.

He'd give you the shirt off
his back if you asked for it.

Sure never deserved
nothing like this.


What are you doing in here?

I just come in the back to
apologize for earlier today.

I... get mad and...
it weren't your fault.

It's all right.

We all get mad
and lose our tempers

and say things that we
don't mean sometimes.

I guess... you've had a
lot on your mind today,

what with me just up and popping
out with asking you to marry me.

Uh... Now, let's not
get into that again.

That's mighty fine,
that's mighty fine.

Yes, ma'am.

I mean, I certainly
do understand

when a woman wants to know how
she's gonna have things bought for her.

It changes things.

Plumb certain does.

When she knows she's
getting a providing man.

Cleavus, please.

Lessin' she... figure me dirt...

because I was once poor.

You wouldn't figure
that, now would ya?

I think you better go.

Now you're talking.

- We're both goin'.
- What?

Uh-huh. That's
it, we're both goin'.

We'll be back in an hour.

And then...

you're giving me a
chance to show you just...

how fitting and
proper I really am.

I'm not goin' anywhere with you.

I'm just wanting to
show you my secret.

Just showing you my claim.

Belongs to me, belongs to you.

Cleavus, I am not
going to marry you.

And I want you to stop this.

I ain't asking you to do nothing till
you see what I've got to show you!

I got a buckboard out back.

You and me are gonna
drive up that old mountain.

It ain't gonna take more than
an hour to get to that claim.

Take your hands off me.

I'm proving, woman...

I'm... just trying to prove.

A man chooses to marry you...

You mean you...

Can't spare him one
hour of your time?


- What's your hurry?
- I got to talk to Cleavus, Doc.

Well, he's not...
he's not in there.

- Where's he at?
- Well, I don't know.

Saw him leaving town in a
buggy and he had Kitty with him.

Where do you reckon
they could have went?

Well, I thought you'd know that.

Reckon they could have
went out yonder to that claim?

Well, I don't even know
where it is. Do you?

I don't know, he never
would tell me where it's at.

Well, now, hold
on a minute here.

You think that's where they
went, we can get that information.

If he filed a claim, it'll
be in the land office.

Let's just roust out
that agent. We'll get it.

There she be.

It's solid gold.

Ain't that something?

It sure enough is.

And that's just what's
on top right here.

I mean, imagine underneath.

Why, there's a whole mountainful.
Enough to buy Dodge City.

Every board and nail.

And we gonna have us a ranch.

The biggest in the
whole of Kansas.

And we're gonna have
us every kind of animal.


And... And all them folks

with the houses and the
stores, well they're gonna look up.

You know them society folks,

them rich people, the big
ones with all the money?

They're gonna look up to
Cleavus here because he's rich too.

And you'll be my wife.

They're gonna look up to you.

No more casting down on ya...

like a saloon woman.

Cleavus... And we
gonna have us a house.

A great big old white house!

With a stable in the back.

And all kind of shade
trees all around.

And there ain't gonna be no
more calling down on Cleavus.

Because he's poor.

No, sir, folks can't
do that no more.

'Cause he's rich.

And you're going to be proud
to be married to a man like that.

A man that's rich and important.


all this glitter
you're looking at...

it isn't worth a thing.

It just looks like gold.

It's pyrite!

It's fool's gold.

Did you say... fool?

Oh, Cleavus, not you.

Nobody's calling you anything.

I-I'm talking about the gold.

It's... It's not gold at all,
you've got to take my word for it.

Not real?


Of course it is.

Well, you've seen me in Dodge.

I bought stuff with it!

I went to that government office and
them people said the gold was real!


Cleavus, the gold that you
had in town was genuine.

But this isn't the same,
it's just not the same.

You're just like everybody else.

All the high-minded people.

Looking down on
Cleavus, laughing.

Why, you?


All my life, it's been the same.

All my life it's been the same!

The same! People laugh.

All my life it's the same!



Miss Kitty, you all right?

I'm all right, but he's in
there, and he's dangerous.

I-I told him that what he
found in there was not real gold

and he's going crazy.

Miss Kitty, you stay right
here and I'll go talk to him.

He... He usually listens
when I talk to him.

Festus, you be careful.


Festus: Cleavus?


It ain't at all like you
to hide out on nobody.

You ain't got no call
to hide out on me.

I found that old man, Cleavus.

Now, I want to know, did
you kill him or didn't you?

Are you hearing me, Cleavus?

You can't hide
from your own self.

Now, if you done wrong,
you got to settle up for it.

I don't believe you killed
that old feller, Cleavus.

But I want to hear you tell
it to me, eyeball to eyeball.

You got to talk to
the marshal, too.

'Cause I know blame
well you stole that gold.

I never did, I never stole it!

Then you ain't got
nothing to fret about.

Now, Festus, you don't
be coming no further.

You got no call to come
a-hunting down on me.

I'm gonna have to take
you back to Dodge, Cleavus.

I got to hear you
tell it your own self.

Now, you stay on
back. I got a shotgun.

You better get her
cocked and aimed, then,

'cause I ain't going
back to town without ya.


Festus, now you got to hear on.

I never did nothing wrong.

That old boy got
hisself killed by mistake.

It made no matter I take his
gold. He... He was already dead.

I even took him to a farm
and saw some kindly people

would... would give
him a decent burial.

All right, then.

You and me will go back to town
and you'll tell the marshal that.

No. No, I ain't
going to no marshal.

No, sir!


put down your gun
now and come on out.

Don't come no closer.

You hurt?

Hurt some.


Got to get you up out of there.

You hearing on me here?


You come on over here.

You see here? You come on over
here and you take a hold of this shotgun.

I'll pull you up out of here.

Come on.


You get me out of here, I'm...

I'm still fixing to
take you to jail.

When you grab
ahold to this shot gun,

and I pull you up out of there,

we're talking on that.

Now, grab ahold!

Now, you take ahold of it!

Grit your teeth. Hold tight.

I'll go fetch old Doc.

I don't wanna be alone, Festus.

I don't want to
be alone, Festus.

I ain't gonna leave
you alone, Cleavus.

You and me...

we was always friends, Festus.

We was always friends.

Wasn't we? Always.

That there's a pure O.D. fact.

I... I... I done it.

I... I done it.

I found...

I found me a whole
mountain of pure gold.

Old Cleavus did.

Miss Kitty, I'm sorry.

I'm plumb sorry. I'm
fixing to make it up to you.

Making you my partner, Festus.

Tomorrow we're gonna just...

mine this whole
mountain plumb out.

Do you hear that, Miss Kitty?

I hear ya, Cleavus.

We can buy you
anything you want.

Just me... and Festus.

Getting plumb tired...

Sleepy... Sleepy.

But tomorrow...




Tomorrow, Cleavus.



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