Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 15, Episode 4 - Danny - full transcript
Gunsmoke, starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
Ha!
Let him go.
Ho!
Hey, what's going on down there?
- What?
- Your shoes. Get 'em off.
What are you doing?
Gentlemen, there's been
a misunderstanding here.
It was just a little
run of hard luck.
That's all it was.
- We caught us a pickpocket.
- That right, mister?
Ha! Yah!
Well, you can't win 'em all.
The last time
we're working blind.
Yeah, I'll go along with that.
Hey, look who's here.
Hey, mister.
It don't make good sense
walking around without any shoes.
It's too hard on a man's socks.
Danny Wilson?
Yeah, I'm afraid you've
made a mistake, ma'am.
Nu-uh.
No, San Francisco
over 15 years ago.
Ma'am, if there's been
any misunderstanding,
- I can explain everything.
- I'm Kitty Russell.
I'm one of the few people
you didn't try to cheat.
Oh! Kitty Russell.
Well, I'll be. And you
never changed a day.
A little bit of flattery like that is
gonna get you a drink on the house.
Oh, good.
Oh, Danny, your feet.
Oh.
- Got kicked off the stage, huh?
- Yeah.
Well, you haven't
changed a bit either.
You're a poorer thief
than you are a con man.
- I'm afraid you're right.
- Come on. I'll have Sam,
my bartender, get you a pair of
shoes while I buy you that drink.
Oh, good.
Oh, it's been up and down, but overall,
the pickings have been pretty poor.
Mr. Wilson, these may
be a little large for you,
but I'm sure they'll
be better than nothing.
Oh, thank you, Sam.
So I figured I'd try Tucson.
They tell me there's a
big silver strike down there.
Oh. You a prospector?
Oh, not... not with
a pick and shovel.
Oh, of course not. Mm-hm.
You know that a prospector
is the easiest mark
in the whole world.
Oh, Danny, I don't know why
you keep going on like this.
You've just spent
your whole entire...
Danny.
Danny?
Danny!
Sam! Sam, go get Doc. Hurry up.
All right?
- Are you a good doctor?
- Well, I'm the best in town.
- Sounds like the only one in town.
- That's about it.
Well, you just give me a
little something for my twinges
and I'll be all right.
Well, that's a new
name for it, twinges.
Understand you're
on your way to Tucson.
Yeah.
I was on my way till a little
misunderstanding occurred.
I'm still going, 'cause
my passage is paid.
Let me give you
some advice: don't go.
You get on a stage
for that long trip south,
time you get to Tucson,
they just might carry you off.
So this is the end of the
line, huh? Dodge City.
Well, a lot of people said
Danny Wilson didn't have a heart.
I guess this proves
they're wrong, eh, Doc?
Guess you've seen a
few doctors, all right.
Few.
How long?
Well, if you take reasonably
good care of yourself,
you could be around for a while.
"You could be
around for a while."
If that's a sample of your
clinical acumen, Doctor,
I don't believe you could diagnose
a worm in an apple even if you ate it.
I'd say I got at the
most... two weeks.
Well, you're entitled
to your opinion.
Here's something
for those twinges.
Pretty sure you're
familiar with those.
Yeah.
- See you a little later.
- I'll see you out, Doc.
- Doc?
- Well, he said it. It...
- It's his heart.
- Oh, what a shame.
He a good friend of yours?
Well, a long time ago
he did me a kindness
when I really needed a kindness.
The funny thing is I don't
think he recollects me at all.
And if he cheated me
he would remember.
It's the way his mind works.
Sure a likeable cuss.
- Not much of a chance, huh?
- Afraid not.
I'll see you.
You're not getting out of that
bed until you've had a night's sleep.
Oh.
Well, as a matter of
fact, it's been a long time
since I had a room
this fancy all to myself.
Well, it's yours as
long as you want it.
That's a mighty rash
offer, Miss Russell.
Danny, I'm gonna give you a
little job here at The Long Branch.
I know you're good
with figures and...
Oh, no.
You shouldn't be doing
anything, but just light work.
I don't mind being a
guest, Miss Russell.
- But I don't take charity.
- I'm not offering you charity.
You're gonna be here in
Dodge, I just want to make...
I'm a professional
man, not a bookkeeper.
- What are you doing?
- I'm getting out of here.
Oh, all right, Danny,
okay. You win. You win.
- You gotta win these little ones.
- Why?
'Cause I don't see
any big ones around.
Danny, what... what drives you?
What are you looking for?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess everybody wonders
how it's gonna be for them
and when it's gonna happen.
I know it's gonna happen
right here in Dodge,
so what matters now
is how it's gonna be.
It would be nice to have the biggest
funeral the west has ever seen.
- That's quite an ambition.
- There's nothing like shooting high.
I remember when I was a little
fella, about seven or eight or so.
I went to this funeral.
They threw a big wing-ding
party the night before.
- A wake?
- Yeah.
You could hear 'em for
about ten blocks around.
And the procession
the next morning.
You could hardly see the hearse,
it was so covered with flowers.
And the horses, big black
horses wearing fancy plumes.
And ribbons all over the place.
Buggy after buggy just full of
people all crying their eyes out.
You know they gave him
a stone almost ten feet tall?
Oh, it was grand.
I'm gonna leave you so you
can get a good night's sleep.
Thank you, Miss Russell.
I sure appreciate
everything you've done.
- Good night, Danny.
- Good night.
Danny.
Well, I was just coming
up to see how you are.
Oh, just fine, Miss
Kitty. Just fine.
- Well, you look fine.
- Thank you.
- Uh, Danny?
- Hm?
Here. I want you to take this.
- Oh, no. No.
- For old time's sake. Come on.
- No, I...
- I want you to have it.
It's only a hundred dollars.
Well... if it's only a hundred.
And for old time's sake.
And thank you very much.
You picked any
more pockets lately?
It's a new day, gentlemen.
It's a new day, all right.
I'm feeling more conspicuous
every hour we spend in this town.
Yeah, I know.
Ed, if I could even make a
guess who's paying for this hit,
I'd go right up to him point blank
and I'd ask him for the name.
I've heard a little about
this Dodge City marshal
and I'd just as soon get this
over with while he's out of town.
Needs a little fattening.
Oh, I don't know. I... I thought the
satin in the coffin was a little thin.
No problem, Mr. Wilson.
I have another grade,
- the very finest attainable.
- Oh, fine. Put it down.
As you see, I... I
maintain quite a selection.
- Yeah.
- Avery fine stone, sir.
Imported from the
state of Vermont.
Rock of Ages, Mr. Wilson.
Guaranteed to last for...
I suppose this one is taken.
As a matter of
fact, it's... it's not.
- Was the deceased a military man?
- No. No, not exactly.
Oh, too bad. I could have
made you a very good price on it.
Oh.
You see, it was ordered
by the late colonel's relatives
before the court-martial.
After the court-martial, they... they
wanted something a bit more modest.
Remarkable resemblance.
But not exactly fitting
for the deceased,
if as you say, he was
not a military man.
Well, he could have been,
Mr. Crump. He could have been.
We should think in grand terms.
Put it down.
I'll throw in 15
words of sentiment.
That's very kind of you.
Yeah... How much
will this all cost?
Hearse, black horses,
plumes, ribbons,
flowers, drivers, attendants,
pallbearers, outriders,
buggies, 12 paid mourners...
- Twelve?
- I'll get more. Plenty.
- Oh.
- Casket.
Quite the most magnificent
funeral I have ever catered.
Ah... Let's see... $1,479.18.
- Eighteen cents?
- We'll even it out to a round figure.
Oh. Very good,
Mr. Crump. Thank you.
Oh. Will you be paying
by bank draft, Mr. Wilson?
Oh, yes, of course. You'll
want a deposit. Well...
Well, it is customary to pay
more than what might be called...
Oh.
Bad habit of mine carrying
so much money around.
It's simply that I'm constantly being
involved in these cash transactions.
- I quite understand, sir.
- Ah, here you are, Mr. Crump.
One hundred dollars.
And the rest will be paid when
you begin the arrangements.
- Good day, sir.
- I beg your pardon, sir,
but what day will that be?
Day... Oh, yes, the day.
Well, that's...
that's still indefinite.
Indefinite? Oh, but
the... the deceased, sir.
Where are the
remains at present?
I wish I could put this
more delicately, Mr. Crump,
but I am the remains.
Uh...
- You got a match, friend?
- What for?
I... I dropped my money here.
You see, I got a big hole in
my pocket, and I was saving...
Indiana!
What are you doing here?
I... Danny...
- Danny Wilson!
- Yeah!
- Nice to see you!
- Good seeing you!
- You know what this is?
- What?
By the time the fella is burning
about four or five matches
and me clutching on
him and whining on him,
he's bound to give me a nickel
or a dime just to break away.
I mean, it isn't much, you know,
but it keeps the body and
soul together, you know.
Sure! How you been?
Oh, real good. Yeah.
How about you?
How do I look?
- Awful.
- Yeah.
Come on, I'll buy us a bottle.
Oh, yeah!
Gotta use a little logic.
You need $2,000.
Where do you start?
First, by getting...
$2,000.
That's what I like
about you, Indiana.
You always come up
with the right answer.
I try, Danny. I try, you know.
The funeral and the wake...
I gotta buy a going-away
gift for Miss Russell.
- You're going away?
- That's right.
- I'm going away.
- You're going away.
Trouble is...
I never even had half of
$2,000 in my whole life.
Oh, you'll get there,
Danny. You'll get there.
Half of $2,000...
Indiana, suppose
you picked a pocket.
Mm, no, I was
never too good at it.
Well, I mean, suppose
you picked a pocket
and you found a
wallet with $2,000 in it
and the bills were torn in half.
It's a bad dream.
Uh...
Uh...
That fella sitting there with a cowhide
bag right beside him all the time.
A bag full of thousand
dollar bills torn in half?
Wow.
That's not a bad dream.
That's a nightmare.
Hm...
Where you going, Danny?
Just one time. A little luck.
Just once.
- Danny...
- You stay here.
Be right here.
Never make it.
Indiana! What do
you think I found?
- I don't know.
- Sawed-off shotguns.
And with a thousand
dollar bills torn in half.
That means somebody's gonna
match 'em when the job is finished.
- You got a job?
- Yeah, but... no, no, no, no.
- You ain't got a job?
- No, no, no.
Well, what else do
you think I found?
Somebody slipped an
envelope under the door
and there was a
name in that envelope.
Uh, Matt Dillon.
Hey, that's a fine fella.
- Who?
- The marshal.
Oh, sure.
When the jail is empty, he lets
you use it when it's cold or rainy.
Matt Dillon's the marshal?
As a matter of fact, listen.
I wouldn't get too friendly
with the Long Branch woman,
or you won't get the
welcome in his jail.
You mean Miss Russell
and the marshal...
Real good friends.
Yep.
- Indiana, I got an idea.
- Yeah.
Maybe the greatest one I
ever had in my whole life.
And it's coming just
in time! Just in time!
The marshal's
office is right here.
Now, we head down the street,
shotguns under our
coats, nobody looking.
We blast, right
through the window.
Now, the alley by the
jail is only a step away.
Down it we go.
- Cut through the back...
- Hold it right there.
All right, Festus...
Where are you men from?
Marshal, we're... we're
just passing through.
Businessmen. St. Louis.
- What kind of business?
- Hardware.
- Guns.
- Uh-huh.
Got any explanation for this?
Marshal, look at this.
Let's go.
Your coats, gentlemen.
Mr. Wilson. I owe you.
- I'll settle for a drink.
- Fair enough.
So somebody hired some
killers. Why come to me about 'em?
Heenan, you try to leave town the
next 48 hours, I'll throw you in jail.
Now, Marshal, you
haven't got that right.
I got every right until I get
a wire about those two men.
Why would I want to hire
anyone to kill you anyway?
Sure, we've had
our differences but...
Yeah, "our differences"
isn't the word for it.
I'm gonna tell you
something else.
I hear one complaint about this
place when it opens tomorrow,
I'm gonna close it up.
I intend running a straight place,
Marshal. You have my word on that.
You haven't run a straight place
since you been in this business.
I'll tell you something, I figure to have
this place padlocked within a week.
Well, if you're so sure I
hired those men to kill you,
why don't you arrest me?
That's exactly what I'm
gonna do, sooner or later.
You can count on it.
We're not open.
Hey. Are you deaf
or something, mister?
- I said we're not open.
- And my name is Danny Wilson.
- So, who cares?
- Possibly my parents,
maybe one or two
others, I don't know.
Now, let's get to the
point, Mr. Heenan.
I understand you want
to get rid of Matt Dillon.
- Get out of here, you drunk.
- Now, just a moment, Mr. Heenan.
Oh, I see you're interested.
Now, let's get
to the meat of it.
A man who kills for hire
usually worries about
getting away afterwards,
has to make plans and arrangements,
even follow his victim around.
That makes for a
lot of complications.
And there's the possibility
that something could go wrong.
And something did go wrong,
as I'm sure you've noticed.
Now, on the other hand,
let's suppose,
just for instance,
you take a man who's dying.
He doesn't worry about
getting away afterwards.
He doesn't think about
anything more complicated
than putting that gun in the
man's ribs and pulling the trigger.
No plans. No worries.
Nothing to go wrong.
- I'm gonna die very shortly.
- That's too bad.
Yeah.
On the other hand,
there's a problem.
Now, how would you
pay a man like this?
I mean, what would interest him?
I'm sure you've been
asking yourself that question.
Well, even a dying
man can use money.
Take me, for example.
I have in mind a real big
party and a beautiful funeral.
How'd you come by those?
A better question would be, why
didn't I turn them over to the marshal?
Well, those two clowns
might have named names
to save themselves in case
this evidence ever came up.
Except they haven't
got no... No names?
But sometimes a thread is woven
into a rug, et cetera, et cetera.
In this case, we don't
have a thread... yet.
So I'll lay it to you
flat, Mr. Heenan.
Nothing has to be changed.
You just match these,
and I'll take over.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I'll be at the Dodge
House, Mr. Heenan.
And if tonight an envelope
is slipped under my door
containing two halves
that match these,
well, what have you
got to lose, Mr. Heenan?
I mean, after all, without these,
the others are not negotiable.
So why would you want
to hold on to something
when you got so much
to gain by giving them up?
Good night, Mr. Heenan.
Hey! Make way!
There he is!
Hey!
All right, Sam!
Drinks for everybody!
Let 'em drink till
they fall down!
And then go around
and pour 'em another!
Mr. Wilson... Mr. Wilson.
The stonecutter won't
stay in bond forever.
Now, what sort of
inscription do you want on it?
Hey! Three cheers
for Danny Wilson!
Hip-hip-hooray!
Hip-hip-hooray!
- Hip-hip...
- Hooray!
Indiana!
Find somebody to
make me a speech.
Hm... A speech.
I'm gonna miss you!
You're the best pal I ever had!
Ah, that goes double, friend.
Hey! Hey!
Make a speech for my friend!
All right, quiet now!
Quiet! Come on!
We're gonna have a eulogy.
Friends...!
What's the name of the lamented?
Oh! Danny Wilson. My friend!
All right, all right, all right!
Friends, we're gathered here
to pay homage to one of the
finest men I've ever known.
And I've known
some pretty fine men.
One in particular comes
to my mind, Swede!
Now, I met Swede down in the
Pecos, and he was one of the finest men!
He was...
Indiana, make him
stick to the subject!
And he was good...
- Stick to the subject, Danny Wilson!
- All right, all right.
All right, Danny Wilson!
Danny Wilson!
In my judgment, one of the finest
men to ever throw a saddle over a horse.
Can ride like the wind!
Get him out of there!
Get him out of there!
Miss Russell.
There's an old saying
that it's a fortunate man
who can count his friends
on the fingers of one hand.
I think I can do that,
if you'll permit me to
include the loveliest lady
this side of the Missouri,
or this side of anywhere.
For you.
Oh, Danny...
Indiana, everybody down to
Heenan's! Come on, let's go!
Indiana!
Everybody, down to
Heenan's, everybody!
Where do you suppose he got that?
Where's he getting all this money?
I'm afraid to ask.
Let's go, Danny!
- Say, Danny.
- Yeah?
Wondering if I could
talk to you for a minute.
Why, sure, Marshal.
I'll meet you down at
Heenan's. Take it away.
Now, Marshal, what
can I do for you?
Danny, look, I want
to ask you something.
- You ever seen these before?
- Why, sure.
I changed them at
the bank this afternoon.
Uh-huh.
Now, Danny, how is it that two
professional killers come to Dodge,
they got my name on their
bullets and you know they're here?
Well, we've been over
that before, Marshal.
I recognized one of those
two fellas that was on the stage
and I just put two
and two together.
And a lucky thing
for you that I did.
Yeah. Well, you know,
the thing that bothers me
is that the day after
I lock them up in jail,
you show up at the bank with
two one-thousand dollar bills
- pasted together.
- Now, Marshal,
you insinuating that I had
anything to do with those killers?
No, Danny, I'm not insinuating
anything, I'm just asking a question.
Would you mind telling
me where you got these?
- Anybody claim they were stolen?
- No.
- Well, you...
- Hey, Danny!
Hey! Come on!
Ah! Do me a favor, Marshal.
Let's talk about this tomorrow.
- I really am gonna miss you!
- Ah!
- You're welcome.
- Thank you, friend!
Why don't you go
and have another drink.
- I'll just do that! Oh!
- Watch yourself.
- Good evening, Mr. Wilson.
- Good evening, Mr. Heenan.
- You having a good time?
- Oh, I am. I am, Mr. Heenan.
Some kind stranger left a little
bundle all tied up real pretty yesterday.
- You don't say?
- Yes, I do say.
Can we settle on the
15 words of sentiment?
Oh... let's see now, uh...
"Untimely plucked
from this earth
at the tender age of 51."
And put down, uh...
whatever's the date tomorrow.
Your attention,
ladies and gentlemen.
Shh!
Let's drink to Danny Wilson!
Who can talk a deacon
out of the collection plate
and make him mortgage the
church! That's what he can do!
Can he? Yeah!
I give you the fastest talking,
the slickest con
man that ever lived!
Cut off in his youth...
in the flower of his youth
before he had a chance to even...
And put down, "He
was widely lamented".
- Well, good morning, Danny.
- Good morning, Miss Russell.
Well, you're up early, considering
the night before you've had.
Ah, well, as the old
saying goes, the early bird...
- Hm. How about some coffee?
- That sure would hit the spot.
Oh, my, you're certainly
glowing this morning.
I guess that describes
the way I feel, all right. I...
Danny.
Danny, I'm gonna go get Doc.
No... no.
No, I'll be all right.
It's just a little of the night
before, that's... that's all.
Danny, they're coming!
Oh. Oh.
Oh, Miss Russell,
we can't miss this.
Oh, no!
Oh, it's grand. It's grand!
Danny!
Excuse me.
Come on, Danny. Look
right here, right here!
Hey, that's... that's
Danny Wilson!
Danny Wilson!
Danny! That's him!
That's Danny! Hi, Miss Kitty!
Danny Wilson!
Well, I think today is the day
I've seen just about everything,
- but I don't believe it.
- I don't, either. But there it is.
Are you gonna go
down there, Danny,
or are you gonna use
the buggy I got for you?
What?
Down to the church.
You walking down?
I doubt if I'll be
walking, Indiana.
But I'll see you
there. At the church.
Well, Mr. Heenan,
it's quite a day.
Let's talk about tonight.
And just what time you plan
to live up to our little deal.
Deal?
Don't tell me you're the one who sent
me the matching halves to those bills?
You mean you thought our little
for-instance talk was serious?
Listen, Wilson, I
don't like games.
Well, I don't like games
either, Mr. Heenan.
Life's a very serious thing.
You should consider that fact.
- Oh, are you gonna buy me a drink?
- Sure.
Sure, I'll buy you a drink.
A real expensive one.
The price is $2,000.
You know, Mr. Heenan,
it's a very strange thing,
a man looking at his last drink.
$2,000.
Which of course I don't have.
Hm. You know, you
seem to like quotes.
Remember the one about
the man paying the piper?
Oh, yes. Yes, I remember.
Mm, ah...
You know, Mr. Heenan, you're soon
to become a very remarkable man.
Someone who'll have a
tremendous influence on my destiny.
Yeah?
And you have just one hour
to come up with that money.
Oh, one hour to live?
Very gracious, Mr. Heenan.
You have the thanks
of a dying man.
One, you have given me the finest
wake and funeral a man could wish for.
And two, I have taken you.
Yes, Mr. Heenan, you've been
had, and in such grand style.
Why, you...
Get out!
Seems to me you're always
throwing me out of your establishment.
- Well, so be it.
- Wilson...
- Yes?
- Remember about paying the piper.
I'll try to keep it in mind.
And oh, yes, Mr. Heenan.
Basically, I'm an honest man.
I don't like people
who hire killers.
So I'm gonna sit down with the marshal
and have a long conversation with him
about the $2,000.
And after our little chat,
he'll have a little talk with
the characters in the jail.
And that'll lead to a
contact with St. Louis.
And inevitably...
Good day, Mr. Heenan.
Goodbye, Mr. Wilson.
He tried to rob my place.
Marshal...
$2,000...
he paid me to kill you.
Festus, lock him up.
All right, let's go.
I took him.
I took Heenan.
I beat you too, Doc.
I'm gonna die my way.
Gonna have the biggest
gravestone you ever saw.
Bigger than
anything on Boot Hill.
I measured every
one to make sure.
I could...
take you for anything
you got right now.
Yes, you could, Danny.
It works out real nice.
You know, Miss Russell,
it's positively indecent...
me dying such a happy man.
Hey, Danny!
Hey, Danny!
They're waiting for
you at the church!
Where's Danny?!
Danny Wilson, where are you?!
Danny Wilson, where are you?!
That's the most relevant
question I've ever heard.
Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's Gunsmoke.
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
Ha!
Let him go.
Ho!
Hey, what's going on down there?
- What?
- Your shoes. Get 'em off.
What are you doing?
Gentlemen, there's been
a misunderstanding here.
It was just a little
run of hard luck.
That's all it was.
- We caught us a pickpocket.
- That right, mister?
Ha! Yah!
Well, you can't win 'em all.
The last time
we're working blind.
Yeah, I'll go along with that.
Hey, look who's here.
Hey, mister.
It don't make good sense
walking around without any shoes.
It's too hard on a man's socks.
Danny Wilson?
Yeah, I'm afraid you've
made a mistake, ma'am.
Nu-uh.
No, San Francisco
over 15 years ago.
Ma'am, if there's been
any misunderstanding,
- I can explain everything.
- I'm Kitty Russell.
I'm one of the few people
you didn't try to cheat.
Oh! Kitty Russell.
Well, I'll be. And you
never changed a day.
A little bit of flattery like that is
gonna get you a drink on the house.
Oh, good.
Oh, Danny, your feet.
Oh.
- Got kicked off the stage, huh?
- Yeah.
Well, you haven't
changed a bit either.
You're a poorer thief
than you are a con man.
- I'm afraid you're right.
- Come on. I'll have Sam,
my bartender, get you a pair of
shoes while I buy you that drink.
Oh, good.
Oh, it's been up and down, but overall,
the pickings have been pretty poor.
Mr. Wilson, these may
be a little large for you,
but I'm sure they'll
be better than nothing.
Oh, thank you, Sam.
So I figured I'd try Tucson.
They tell me there's a
big silver strike down there.
Oh. You a prospector?
Oh, not... not with
a pick and shovel.
Oh, of course not. Mm-hm.
You know that a prospector
is the easiest mark
in the whole world.
Oh, Danny, I don't know why
you keep going on like this.
You've just spent
your whole entire...
Danny.
Danny?
Danny!
Sam! Sam, go get Doc. Hurry up.
All right?
- Are you a good doctor?
- Well, I'm the best in town.
- Sounds like the only one in town.
- That's about it.
Well, you just give me a
little something for my twinges
and I'll be all right.
Well, that's a new
name for it, twinges.
Understand you're
on your way to Tucson.
Yeah.
I was on my way till a little
misunderstanding occurred.
I'm still going, 'cause
my passage is paid.
Let me give you
some advice: don't go.
You get on a stage
for that long trip south,
time you get to Tucson,
they just might carry you off.
So this is the end of the
line, huh? Dodge City.
Well, a lot of people said
Danny Wilson didn't have a heart.
I guess this proves
they're wrong, eh, Doc?
Guess you've seen a
few doctors, all right.
Few.
How long?
Well, if you take reasonably
good care of yourself,
you could be around for a while.
"You could be
around for a while."
If that's a sample of your
clinical acumen, Doctor,
I don't believe you could diagnose
a worm in an apple even if you ate it.
I'd say I got at the
most... two weeks.
Well, you're entitled
to your opinion.
Here's something
for those twinges.
Pretty sure you're
familiar with those.
Yeah.
- See you a little later.
- I'll see you out, Doc.
- Doc?
- Well, he said it. It...
- It's his heart.
- Oh, what a shame.
He a good friend of yours?
Well, a long time ago
he did me a kindness
when I really needed a kindness.
The funny thing is I don't
think he recollects me at all.
And if he cheated me
he would remember.
It's the way his mind works.
Sure a likeable cuss.
- Not much of a chance, huh?
- Afraid not.
I'll see you.
You're not getting out of that
bed until you've had a night's sleep.
Oh.
Well, as a matter of
fact, it's been a long time
since I had a room
this fancy all to myself.
Well, it's yours as
long as you want it.
That's a mighty rash
offer, Miss Russell.
Danny, I'm gonna give you a
little job here at The Long Branch.
I know you're good
with figures and...
Oh, no.
You shouldn't be doing
anything, but just light work.
I don't mind being a
guest, Miss Russell.
- But I don't take charity.
- I'm not offering you charity.
You're gonna be here in
Dodge, I just want to make...
I'm a professional
man, not a bookkeeper.
- What are you doing?
- I'm getting out of here.
Oh, all right, Danny,
okay. You win. You win.
- You gotta win these little ones.
- Why?
'Cause I don't see
any big ones around.
Danny, what... what drives you?
What are you looking for?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess everybody wonders
how it's gonna be for them
and when it's gonna happen.
I know it's gonna happen
right here in Dodge,
so what matters now
is how it's gonna be.
It would be nice to have the biggest
funeral the west has ever seen.
- That's quite an ambition.
- There's nothing like shooting high.
I remember when I was a little
fella, about seven or eight or so.
I went to this funeral.
They threw a big wing-ding
party the night before.
- A wake?
- Yeah.
You could hear 'em for
about ten blocks around.
And the procession
the next morning.
You could hardly see the hearse,
it was so covered with flowers.
And the horses, big black
horses wearing fancy plumes.
And ribbons all over the place.
Buggy after buggy just full of
people all crying their eyes out.
You know they gave him
a stone almost ten feet tall?
Oh, it was grand.
I'm gonna leave you so you
can get a good night's sleep.
Thank you, Miss Russell.
I sure appreciate
everything you've done.
- Good night, Danny.
- Good night.
Danny.
Well, I was just coming
up to see how you are.
Oh, just fine, Miss
Kitty. Just fine.
- Well, you look fine.
- Thank you.
- Uh, Danny?
- Hm?
Here. I want you to take this.
- Oh, no. No.
- For old time's sake. Come on.
- No, I...
- I want you to have it.
It's only a hundred dollars.
Well... if it's only a hundred.
And for old time's sake.
And thank you very much.
You picked any
more pockets lately?
It's a new day, gentlemen.
It's a new day, all right.
I'm feeling more conspicuous
every hour we spend in this town.
Yeah, I know.
Ed, if I could even make a
guess who's paying for this hit,
I'd go right up to him point blank
and I'd ask him for the name.
I've heard a little about
this Dodge City marshal
and I'd just as soon get this
over with while he's out of town.
Needs a little fattening.
Oh, I don't know. I... I thought the
satin in the coffin was a little thin.
No problem, Mr. Wilson.
I have another grade,
- the very finest attainable.
- Oh, fine. Put it down.
As you see, I... I
maintain quite a selection.
- Yeah.
- Avery fine stone, sir.
Imported from the
state of Vermont.
Rock of Ages, Mr. Wilson.
Guaranteed to last for...
I suppose this one is taken.
As a matter of
fact, it's... it's not.
- Was the deceased a military man?
- No. No, not exactly.
Oh, too bad. I could have
made you a very good price on it.
Oh.
You see, it was ordered
by the late colonel's relatives
before the court-martial.
After the court-martial, they... they
wanted something a bit more modest.
Remarkable resemblance.
But not exactly fitting
for the deceased,
if as you say, he was
not a military man.
Well, he could have been,
Mr. Crump. He could have been.
We should think in grand terms.
Put it down.
I'll throw in 15
words of sentiment.
That's very kind of you.
Yeah... How much
will this all cost?
Hearse, black horses,
plumes, ribbons,
flowers, drivers, attendants,
pallbearers, outriders,
buggies, 12 paid mourners...
- Twelve?
- I'll get more. Plenty.
- Oh.
- Casket.
Quite the most magnificent
funeral I have ever catered.
Ah... Let's see... $1,479.18.
- Eighteen cents?
- We'll even it out to a round figure.
Oh. Very good,
Mr. Crump. Thank you.
Oh. Will you be paying
by bank draft, Mr. Wilson?
Oh, yes, of course. You'll
want a deposit. Well...
Well, it is customary to pay
more than what might be called...
Oh.
Bad habit of mine carrying
so much money around.
It's simply that I'm constantly being
involved in these cash transactions.
- I quite understand, sir.
- Ah, here you are, Mr. Crump.
One hundred dollars.
And the rest will be paid when
you begin the arrangements.
- Good day, sir.
- I beg your pardon, sir,
but what day will that be?
Day... Oh, yes, the day.
Well, that's...
that's still indefinite.
Indefinite? Oh, but
the... the deceased, sir.
Where are the
remains at present?
I wish I could put this
more delicately, Mr. Crump,
but I am the remains.
Uh...
- You got a match, friend?
- What for?
I... I dropped my money here.
You see, I got a big hole in
my pocket, and I was saving...
Indiana!
What are you doing here?
I... Danny...
- Danny Wilson!
- Yeah!
- Nice to see you!
- Good seeing you!
- You know what this is?
- What?
By the time the fella is burning
about four or five matches
and me clutching on
him and whining on him,
he's bound to give me a nickel
or a dime just to break away.
I mean, it isn't much, you know,
but it keeps the body and
soul together, you know.
Sure! How you been?
Oh, real good. Yeah.
How about you?
How do I look?
- Awful.
- Yeah.
Come on, I'll buy us a bottle.
Oh, yeah!
Gotta use a little logic.
You need $2,000.
Where do you start?
First, by getting...
$2,000.
That's what I like
about you, Indiana.
You always come up
with the right answer.
I try, Danny. I try, you know.
The funeral and the wake...
I gotta buy a going-away
gift for Miss Russell.
- You're going away?
- That's right.
- I'm going away.
- You're going away.
Trouble is...
I never even had half of
$2,000 in my whole life.
Oh, you'll get there,
Danny. You'll get there.
Half of $2,000...
Indiana, suppose
you picked a pocket.
Mm, no, I was
never too good at it.
Well, I mean, suppose
you picked a pocket
and you found a
wallet with $2,000 in it
and the bills were torn in half.
It's a bad dream.
Uh...
Uh...
That fella sitting there with a cowhide
bag right beside him all the time.
A bag full of thousand
dollar bills torn in half?
Wow.
That's not a bad dream.
That's a nightmare.
Hm...
Where you going, Danny?
Just one time. A little luck.
Just once.
- Danny...
- You stay here.
Be right here.
Never make it.
Indiana! What do
you think I found?
- I don't know.
- Sawed-off shotguns.
And with a thousand
dollar bills torn in half.
That means somebody's gonna
match 'em when the job is finished.
- You got a job?
- Yeah, but... no, no, no, no.
- You ain't got a job?
- No, no, no.
Well, what else do
you think I found?
Somebody slipped an
envelope under the door
and there was a
name in that envelope.
Uh, Matt Dillon.
Hey, that's a fine fella.
- Who?
- The marshal.
Oh, sure.
When the jail is empty, he lets
you use it when it's cold or rainy.
Matt Dillon's the marshal?
As a matter of fact, listen.
I wouldn't get too friendly
with the Long Branch woman,
or you won't get the
welcome in his jail.
You mean Miss Russell
and the marshal...
Real good friends.
Yep.
- Indiana, I got an idea.
- Yeah.
Maybe the greatest one I
ever had in my whole life.
And it's coming just
in time! Just in time!
The marshal's
office is right here.
Now, we head down the street,
shotguns under our
coats, nobody looking.
We blast, right
through the window.
Now, the alley by the
jail is only a step away.
Down it we go.
- Cut through the back...
- Hold it right there.
All right, Festus...
Where are you men from?
Marshal, we're... we're
just passing through.
Businessmen. St. Louis.
- What kind of business?
- Hardware.
- Guns.
- Uh-huh.
Got any explanation for this?
Marshal, look at this.
Let's go.
Your coats, gentlemen.
Mr. Wilson. I owe you.
- I'll settle for a drink.
- Fair enough.
So somebody hired some
killers. Why come to me about 'em?
Heenan, you try to leave town the
next 48 hours, I'll throw you in jail.
Now, Marshal, you
haven't got that right.
I got every right until I get
a wire about those two men.
Why would I want to hire
anyone to kill you anyway?
Sure, we've had
our differences but...
Yeah, "our differences"
isn't the word for it.
I'm gonna tell you
something else.
I hear one complaint about this
place when it opens tomorrow,
I'm gonna close it up.
I intend running a straight place,
Marshal. You have my word on that.
You haven't run a straight place
since you been in this business.
I'll tell you something, I figure to have
this place padlocked within a week.
Well, if you're so sure I
hired those men to kill you,
why don't you arrest me?
That's exactly what I'm
gonna do, sooner or later.
You can count on it.
We're not open.
Hey. Are you deaf
or something, mister?
- I said we're not open.
- And my name is Danny Wilson.
- So, who cares?
- Possibly my parents,
maybe one or two
others, I don't know.
Now, let's get to the
point, Mr. Heenan.
I understand you want
to get rid of Matt Dillon.
- Get out of here, you drunk.
- Now, just a moment, Mr. Heenan.
Oh, I see you're interested.
Now, let's get
to the meat of it.
A man who kills for hire
usually worries about
getting away afterwards,
has to make plans and arrangements,
even follow his victim around.
That makes for a
lot of complications.
And there's the possibility
that something could go wrong.
And something did go wrong,
as I'm sure you've noticed.
Now, on the other hand,
let's suppose,
just for instance,
you take a man who's dying.
He doesn't worry about
getting away afterwards.
He doesn't think about
anything more complicated
than putting that gun in the
man's ribs and pulling the trigger.
No plans. No worries.
Nothing to go wrong.
- I'm gonna die very shortly.
- That's too bad.
Yeah.
On the other hand,
there's a problem.
Now, how would you
pay a man like this?
I mean, what would interest him?
I'm sure you've been
asking yourself that question.
Well, even a dying
man can use money.
Take me, for example.
I have in mind a real big
party and a beautiful funeral.
How'd you come by those?
A better question would be, why
didn't I turn them over to the marshal?
Well, those two clowns
might have named names
to save themselves in case
this evidence ever came up.
Except they haven't
got no... No names?
But sometimes a thread is woven
into a rug, et cetera, et cetera.
In this case, we don't
have a thread... yet.
So I'll lay it to you
flat, Mr. Heenan.
Nothing has to be changed.
You just match these,
and I'll take over.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I'll be at the Dodge
House, Mr. Heenan.
And if tonight an envelope
is slipped under my door
containing two halves
that match these,
well, what have you
got to lose, Mr. Heenan?
I mean, after all, without these,
the others are not negotiable.
So why would you want
to hold on to something
when you got so much
to gain by giving them up?
Good night, Mr. Heenan.
Hey! Make way!
There he is!
Hey!
All right, Sam!
Drinks for everybody!
Let 'em drink till
they fall down!
And then go around
and pour 'em another!
Mr. Wilson... Mr. Wilson.
The stonecutter won't
stay in bond forever.
Now, what sort of
inscription do you want on it?
Hey! Three cheers
for Danny Wilson!
Hip-hip-hooray!
Hip-hip-hooray!
- Hip-hip...
- Hooray!
Indiana!
Find somebody to
make me a speech.
Hm... A speech.
I'm gonna miss you!
You're the best pal I ever had!
Ah, that goes double, friend.
Hey! Hey!
Make a speech for my friend!
All right, quiet now!
Quiet! Come on!
We're gonna have a eulogy.
Friends...!
What's the name of the lamented?
Oh! Danny Wilson. My friend!
All right, all right, all right!
Friends, we're gathered here
to pay homage to one of the
finest men I've ever known.
And I've known
some pretty fine men.
One in particular comes
to my mind, Swede!
Now, I met Swede down in the
Pecos, and he was one of the finest men!
He was...
Indiana, make him
stick to the subject!
And he was good...
- Stick to the subject, Danny Wilson!
- All right, all right.
All right, Danny Wilson!
Danny Wilson!
In my judgment, one of the finest
men to ever throw a saddle over a horse.
Can ride like the wind!
Get him out of there!
Get him out of there!
Miss Russell.
There's an old saying
that it's a fortunate man
who can count his friends
on the fingers of one hand.
I think I can do that,
if you'll permit me to
include the loveliest lady
this side of the Missouri,
or this side of anywhere.
For you.
Oh, Danny...
Indiana, everybody down to
Heenan's! Come on, let's go!
Indiana!
Everybody, down to
Heenan's, everybody!
Where do you suppose he got that?
Where's he getting all this money?
I'm afraid to ask.
Let's go, Danny!
- Say, Danny.
- Yeah?
Wondering if I could
talk to you for a minute.
Why, sure, Marshal.
I'll meet you down at
Heenan's. Take it away.
Now, Marshal, what
can I do for you?
Danny, look, I want
to ask you something.
- You ever seen these before?
- Why, sure.
I changed them at
the bank this afternoon.
Uh-huh.
Now, Danny, how is it that two
professional killers come to Dodge,
they got my name on their
bullets and you know they're here?
Well, we've been over
that before, Marshal.
I recognized one of those
two fellas that was on the stage
and I just put two
and two together.
And a lucky thing
for you that I did.
Yeah. Well, you know,
the thing that bothers me
is that the day after
I lock them up in jail,
you show up at the bank with
two one-thousand dollar bills
- pasted together.
- Now, Marshal,
you insinuating that I had
anything to do with those killers?
No, Danny, I'm not insinuating
anything, I'm just asking a question.
Would you mind telling
me where you got these?
- Anybody claim they were stolen?
- No.
- Well, you...
- Hey, Danny!
Hey! Come on!
Ah! Do me a favor, Marshal.
Let's talk about this tomorrow.
- I really am gonna miss you!
- Ah!
- You're welcome.
- Thank you, friend!
Why don't you go
and have another drink.
- I'll just do that! Oh!
- Watch yourself.
- Good evening, Mr. Wilson.
- Good evening, Mr. Heenan.
- You having a good time?
- Oh, I am. I am, Mr. Heenan.
Some kind stranger left a little
bundle all tied up real pretty yesterday.
- You don't say?
- Yes, I do say.
Can we settle on the
15 words of sentiment?
Oh... let's see now, uh...
"Untimely plucked
from this earth
at the tender age of 51."
And put down, uh...
whatever's the date tomorrow.
Your attention,
ladies and gentlemen.
Shh!
Let's drink to Danny Wilson!
Who can talk a deacon
out of the collection plate
and make him mortgage the
church! That's what he can do!
Can he? Yeah!
I give you the fastest talking,
the slickest con
man that ever lived!
Cut off in his youth...
in the flower of his youth
before he had a chance to even...
And put down, "He
was widely lamented".
- Well, good morning, Danny.
- Good morning, Miss Russell.
Well, you're up early, considering
the night before you've had.
Ah, well, as the old
saying goes, the early bird...
- Hm. How about some coffee?
- That sure would hit the spot.
Oh, my, you're certainly
glowing this morning.
I guess that describes
the way I feel, all right. I...
Danny.
Danny, I'm gonna go get Doc.
No... no.
No, I'll be all right.
It's just a little of the night
before, that's... that's all.
Danny, they're coming!
Oh. Oh.
Oh, Miss Russell,
we can't miss this.
Oh, no!
Oh, it's grand. It's grand!
Danny!
Excuse me.
Come on, Danny. Look
right here, right here!
Hey, that's... that's
Danny Wilson!
Danny Wilson!
Danny! That's him!
That's Danny! Hi, Miss Kitty!
Danny Wilson!
Well, I think today is the day
I've seen just about everything,
- but I don't believe it.
- I don't, either. But there it is.
Are you gonna go
down there, Danny,
or are you gonna use
the buggy I got for you?
What?
Down to the church.
You walking down?
I doubt if I'll be
walking, Indiana.
But I'll see you
there. At the church.
Well, Mr. Heenan,
it's quite a day.
Let's talk about tonight.
And just what time you plan
to live up to our little deal.
Deal?
Don't tell me you're the one who sent
me the matching halves to those bills?
You mean you thought our little
for-instance talk was serious?
Listen, Wilson, I
don't like games.
Well, I don't like games
either, Mr. Heenan.
Life's a very serious thing.
You should consider that fact.
- Oh, are you gonna buy me a drink?
- Sure.
Sure, I'll buy you a drink.
A real expensive one.
The price is $2,000.
You know, Mr. Heenan,
it's a very strange thing,
a man looking at his last drink.
$2,000.
Which of course I don't have.
Hm. You know, you
seem to like quotes.
Remember the one about
the man paying the piper?
Oh, yes. Yes, I remember.
Mm, ah...
You know, Mr. Heenan, you're soon
to become a very remarkable man.
Someone who'll have a
tremendous influence on my destiny.
Yeah?
And you have just one hour
to come up with that money.
Oh, one hour to live?
Very gracious, Mr. Heenan.
You have the thanks
of a dying man.
One, you have given me the finest
wake and funeral a man could wish for.
And two, I have taken you.
Yes, Mr. Heenan, you've been
had, and in such grand style.
Why, you...
Get out!
Seems to me you're always
throwing me out of your establishment.
- Well, so be it.
- Wilson...
- Yes?
- Remember about paying the piper.
I'll try to keep it in mind.
And oh, yes, Mr. Heenan.
Basically, I'm an honest man.
I don't like people
who hire killers.
So I'm gonna sit down with the marshal
and have a long conversation with him
about the $2,000.
And after our little chat,
he'll have a little talk with
the characters in the jail.
And that'll lead to a
contact with St. Louis.
And inevitably...
Good day, Mr. Heenan.
Goodbye, Mr. Wilson.
He tried to rob my place.
Marshal...
$2,000...
he paid me to kill you.
Festus, lock him up.
All right, let's go.
I took him.
I took Heenan.
I beat you too, Doc.
I'm gonna die my way.
Gonna have the biggest
gravestone you ever saw.
Bigger than
anything on Boot Hill.
I measured every
one to make sure.
I could...
take you for anything
you got right now.
Yes, you could, Danny.
It works out real nice.
You know, Miss Russell,
it's positively indecent...
me dying such a happy man.
Hey, Danny!
Hey, Danny!
They're waiting for
you at the church!
Where's Danny?!
Danny Wilson, where are you?!
Danny Wilson, where are you?!
That's the most relevant
question I've ever heard.
Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's Gunsmoke.