Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 15, Episode 10 - The Innocent - full transcript

A naive missionary woman teacher gets help from Festus in order to get to her rural job. But a group of hillbillies has other plans for the traveling pair.

Gunsmoke, starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.

What we doin' about him?

He ain't no worry.

This here wagon is. Look at it.

Ain't big enough.

- Howdy, Mr. Phelps.
- Festus.

Looks like there might
be a little shower, don't it?

Yeah. We could
sure use it. Been dry.


What in the world are
you doing way up here?

Well, I been helping
Mr. Jonas out at the mercantile.

And there's some fella
by the name of Royce

that ordered this here team and the
wagonload of supplies bring up here.

He's supposed to be comin'
in on that morning stage.

Hey, uh, now seein' as them
there ain't your belongings,

maybe you'd oughta just
get your hands off of 'em.

Go on, get away from there.

- Here it comes now.
- Ha!

- It's early.
- Yah!

Ha! Yah!


You got a minute to
stretch your legs, folks.

Thank you.

Excuse me, please.

Mr. Royce?

Mr. Royce?

It's Miss Royce. Pass
my luggage down, please.

Yes, ma'am.

I hope that Mr. Jonas was able to
supply everything that I requested.

I just kinda took it for granted

that it'd be a man takin'
over a wagon this size.

Perhaps if you could
just read the list,

you'd see if everything
I ordered was there.


Appears like I went off and left
my specs there in Dodge City.

Uh, well, I'm sure that
Mr. Jonas would have told you

if there was any part of
the order that he couldn't fill.


Oh, I think I'd better get
started without further delay.

Ma'am, ain't you got any man
to drive this here wagon for ya?

I'm capable of
handling a wagon, Mr...

- Haggen. Festus Haggen, ma'am.
- Haggen.

Of course, if you ain't got
but a mile or two to go...

- The Warusa is more than a mile or two.
- The Warusa?

Whoa! Whoa!

You tellin' me you're fixin' to go all
the way up to the Warusa by yourself?

Why, that there's three or
four days from here by wagon.

I am quite aware of the
distance, Mr. Haggen.

Now, if you will please
remove your hand from the rein.

Ma'am, let me tell you, there's
yahoos up along that trail there'd

shoot your head off
just for a pair of boots,

let alone a wagon
full of supplies.

I am going to be in charge of
the mission school at Warusa

and I do not intend
to make a beginning

by being worried about
my personal safety.

Well, that there don't
make a thimble full of sense.

- A woman like...
- I appreciate your concern.

Now, if you will please
remove your hand from the rein.

- All right.
- Thank you.

All aboard, folks.

You gonna take the stage
back to Dodge, Festus?

That there woman ain't got enough
sense to pound sand in a rat hole.

I'd sure like to beat this
storm into Dodge, Festus.

My mule's got more in
his head than she has.

- Festus.
- Wait up there!


Looks like he can handle
that gun he's wearin'.

Get us ahold of Pa first.

Hey, wait up there!

It's sure the wagon we need.

It's the wagon we gettin' too.

- Yes, Mr. Haggen?
- Well, if you don't beat all.

Now, just what exactly
does that mean?

Well, don't it get a
little worrisome for you

to be trapsin' around
the country by yourself?

I am very touched
by your gallantry,

but I am perfectly capable
of getting to Warusa alone,

no matter how improbable
that may seem to you.

Let me tell you something.

You can't be too smart in the head
for doing what you're tryin' to do.

But you'd ought to be smart
enough to know that a fella

can give you a little
dab of help on the way.

I'm sure that you can,
Mr. Haggen, but I can't afford to.

Who's askin' nothing
about gettin' paid?

Very well, Mr. Haggen,
I'm in your hands.

Like a sidewinder in the
hands of a cottontail. Get up.

- Just the two of 'em.
- Maybe we can kill 'em right here.

Country gets
lonesomer higher up.

I always believe in being
properly prepared, Mr. Haggen.

- Oh!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!


There's supposed to be some
bear caves around here somewheres.

Bear caves?

They wouldn't be holed
up this time of year!

We stay here, we're gonna get drownded
like a couple of cats in a tow sack!

Nonsense! I have a
very comfortable tent!


Why, foot, if you had six
arms you couldn't put up a tent

in this here wind!

Here, hold that!

That there's a
cave right yonder!

I will get down myself.

All right, just go on and
get down by yourself.


Well, some folks just can't get
prepared for everything, like they say.

Now, hold on. Hold on.

Just make sure there ain't no bear up
there sleepin' longer than he oughta be.

I'll wait.

Good morning.


What in tarnation
you got cooking there?

Breakfast. It's very nourishing.

What is it?

Well, I familiarized myself
with the Wyandotte staples

and I blended them all together.

It's cornmeal and dried prunes
and herbs and wild berries,

and I fortified it
with cod liver oil.

I call it Wyandotte porridge.

I think I'd call it
somethin' else.

I ain't gonna stuff
none of that in my gullet.

Well, what an attitude to take

when Indian children
are starving in these hills.

Well, no wonder, if that's what
they're gettin' set in front of 'em.

Stop complaining, Mr. Haggen. You
came on this trip of your own volition.

I didn't do no such a thing. I come
along because I wanted to myself.

Never mind. If you're not going to
eat, go out and hitch up the horses.

All right.

I haven't really asked you before,
Mr. Haggen, what do you do for a living?

Well, little dab of this,
and a little dab of that.

Most of the time here lately
I been doin' some deputyin'

for the marshal in Dodge.

Whatcha might say is kind of a
part-time deputy in Dodge City.

Well, isn't that interesting.

Deputy Marshal, United
States. Why, that's very exciting.

Well, it does get a little
excitin' once in a while.

Well, if I didn't feel secure
before, I certainly do now.

Well, I don't know about that...

- Whoa! Whoa!
- What is it?

Who are they?

Kiowa, by the looks of 'em.

See them there marks on their
faces? That there is war paint.

You just keep still and let me
do all the talkin'. You hear me?



Squaw here heap
big friend of Injuns.

- Be still.
- I think...

Be still like I told you.

There is no need to
reach for your gun.

I assure you,
Mr. Haggen, they have...

I ain't gonna set here and
get myself scalped now

without making a fight of
it, I'll guarantee you that.

You will not be scalped.

Here, here, quit
that! Get outta there!

It is all right.

I'm ready whenever
you are, Mr. Haggen.

You talk Kiowa?

Well, do you think that I would go
into a part of the country to teach

without knowing something about
the people I was going to teach?

Well, what was it they wanted?

Some men stole their winter
trappings. The boy with them,

he could identify the thief, but
they lost their trail in the rain.

That's them bushwhackin'
snakes I was warnin' you about.

They obviously meant us no harm.

You could have caused
us considerable trouble.

- What was that you give 'em?
- My special concoction.

You mean that stuff you was
a-tryin' to feed me this morning?

- Of course.
- Now, that there is the way

to get trouble started. We better get
outta here before they come back too.


- Whoa!
- Whoa!

Well, what's the matter?

Well, we should take
the fork to the right.

Well, no, you don't never take
no lower crossing after a rainstorm.

Mr. Haggen, this map is quite
accurate in depicting suitable crossings.

I don't give a hoot
what no map says.

Now, this here lower
crossin' just can't be got across

till a day or two after
the flood's done over with.

Now, you take this
here fork to the left...

This is my wagon, these are my supplies,
and I think I'd like to go to the right.

I don't give a hoot
what you think.

Now, I'm tellin' you, the further down
you go on this here lower crossin',

you're gonna get clean up
to your jaw in mud and water.

- Now, that there is my prediction.
- Yes. Earlier today,

you predicted that we were
going to be scalped by Indians.

Well, if there's one
thing I know about,

it's crossin' rivers in this
here part of the country.




Well, Mr. Haggen?

Well, that ain't sayin' the
lower crossin's no better.

I trust that you will be less
pigheaded as we continue our journey.




Careful! Whoa! Back!

If that ain't the pot
callin' the kettle black.

Whoa! Whoa! Gidup! Gidup!

My books! Get my
books, hurry! Get them!

Oh, they're just
going to be ruined!

Pigheaded! Pig, pig, pig!

I'm gettin' 'em. Can't you
see I'm a-gettin' your books?

I'm just startin' to realize

that I ain't never made
no wetter trip no place!

If you'd try to control your
temper in the first place,

this never would have happened.

Or if you'd a-quit blabberin'
and a-jabberin' in my ear!

I just hope I can fix this
here wheel, that's all.

You folks needin' any help?

Oh, we'd certainly
appreciate it.

Hop in the river
and get that wheel.

Get us a tree fall.

We'll be needin' it
for... for a drag stick.

Oh, they certainly
take hold, don't they?

My boy'll be needin' some
help gettin' that wheel up.

You really happened
along in our time of need.

You sure ain't a lot
of help, I'll tell you that.

None at all.

It's busted up real good, Pa.

I heard you say you might
be able to fix that wheel.

Got a place where
you can do the fixin' at.

Got comfort and
vittles for the woman.

We accept your kind
offer of hospitality.

I just wish I could think of
some way to repay them.

Oh, don't worry.
They'll think of that.

- Where you all been, Pa?
- Got company, boy. Go back to sleep.

- My, is the boy ill?
- Been huntin'.

- Accidental shot hisself.
- Well, is there anything I can do?

He'll come along by hisself.

You get busy with
that wheel fixin'.

- I'm Athena Royce. What's your name?
- Sonny.

- Has a doctor been to see you, Sonny?
- He been seen to.

Well, shouldn't he be moved to
someplace more comfortable?

Well, he ain't complainin' none.

You got grub on that there wagon,
maybe you could womp us up some vittles.

Of course. And some nice
hot beef broth for Sonny.

When we headin' home, Pa?

Well, as soon as we
get that there wheel fixed.

Got ourselves a right fit wagon
to take you and the skins on.

What... What you doin' with
that fella and the woman?

That ain't nothin' for you
to worry your head about.

How long you figure
the fixin' to take?

- Well, there ain't no way to tell that.
- There better be.

Shut your mouth.
You figure by dark?

I ain't got no fittin' tools
to work with. It's liable to...

Oh, Mr. Haggen, there's a whole chest
full of tools right here in the wagon.

- Help yourself.
- Get 'em.

Oh, my books are soaked.
They can't stay in the sun.

The pages will stick. Would you take
them into the house for me, please?

Do what the lady says.

Ma'am, you and me's in betwixt

a rock and the hard place,
if you know what I mean.

I beg your pardon?

Well, I'm a-takin' my
time fixin' this wheel...

Taking your time?

Well, of course, it's gonna take
a heap of time a-fixin' this wheel.

- Can't you see that?
- That's all right with me, Mr. Haggen.

I'm in no hurry.

We have shelter for the night and
we'll go to the valley in the morning.

You a livery man,
fixin' wheels and such?

You might say.

Got this wagon in Dodge
City. That where you live?

Might say.

You don't talk too much, do you?

I ain't got nothin' to say.

Get away from me.

What's this picture say?

Oh, that's the story
of David and Goliath.

The big fella and the
little fella gonna fight?

That's right. Would
you like to read it?

Can't none of us read.

Well, I'll read it to
you after supper.

"And Goliath's voice echoed
through the hills with the challenge,

'Send me a man who will dare to come
down and do battle with me, ' he roared.

The men of Israel listened
and they were afraid.

And so they came to David and told
him of the giant and that they were afraid.

Thus it came to pass
that a young shepherd boy,

armed only with sling and stones,
marched out to face the giant Goliath."

He sure didn't have
a head full of brains.

He was the Lord's hand.

Leave her finish
without your jawin'.

Well, first I'll have to
fix Mr. Haggen his meal.

You finish the readin'.

Oh, no, I have to prepare
something for Mr. Haggen.

He ain't eatin'. The
wheel's more important.

Why, not eating? He's been
out there working all day.

He ain't hungry. Told me so.

Well, I'm going to insist
that he eat something.

- Mr. Haggen, don't you feel well?
- Ma'am?

You ought to at least
have a cup of broth.

- Oh, that there sounds mighty good.
- He ain't eatin'.

- Well, he just said he was hungry.
- It's what Pa says.

He ain't eatin' till
the wagon's fixed.

Oh, gentlemen, I appreciate
your concern for my wagon,

but it doesn't matter if I don't
get to the school until tomorrow.

That there's just what
they're figurin' on, Miss Royce,

you not a-gettin' to that
school at all. Don't you see?

- What?
- Now, you just get to work.

Just a minute.

Mr. Haggen, tell these
gentlemen who you are,

the respect to which
you are entitled.

No, ma'am, there
ain't no need for that.

Mr. Haggen is a United States
deputy marshal from Dodge City.

- I see you're quite surprised.
- Sorta.

Just don't believe it.

Mr. Haggen, show them
the badge in your shirt pocket.

Looks real.

I think you gentlemen
owe Mr. Haggen an apology

for the treatment
you've been giving him.

You two stand over him
rest of the time he's a-workin'.

- Now, just a minute!
- You shut up!

Yon get back inside. You
finish that there readin'.

And you hustle that wheel fixin'
or you'll be crow bait 'fore sundown.

Get inside!

"And the Lord spoke
to Jonah, saying,

'Go to the city of the Babylonians
and tell the people of their evils.'

But Jonah fled from the voice
of the Lord and set forth to hide.

He went to the shore of the sea and
found him there a ship and set sail.

But the Lord sent forth a mighty storm
and soon the ship came to be broken.

Thus Jonah was cast into the sea

and soon he found himself
within the belly of a whale.

For three days and three
nights, he was in the great whale.

And he prayed to the Lord,
asking that his voice be heard.

Thereupon, the Lord bad
the fish to open its mouth

and Jonah was cast
forth upon the dry land.

Jonah again, hearing
the Lord's words, obeyed

and this time went to
the city of the Babylonians

and warned them they
would perish from their sins.

The people listened, and when
the Lord saw that they were turning

from their evil ways,
he gave them salvation."

Well, I guess I'll see how
that fella's doin' with the wheel.

Then you can finish
me another story.

You been long enough
on that wheel, Deputy.

Well, you just hold your taters.

Now, it ain't the
easiest thing in the world

a-working with
this here kinda light.

'Sides, this here wheel
ain't gonna be no good

till we go down yonder to
the river and soak it for a spell,

get this here
wood swolt up in it.

Let us worry about it.

Put him in the root
cellar for the night.

- Move.
- Don't get pushy, you knothead.

You finish a couple more
stories for me and my boys.

- I absolutely refuse to.
- My boys get riled easier than me.

Best keep 'em happy.

That be sound advice, woman.

Well, I'll just bet you
that these here's the hides

that are stole from
that Indian village.

I'll betcha that's just where
that young 'un got that bullet too.

"Thus it came to pass..."

"that the rulers and the governors
brought false testimony against Daniel.

And the king signed a decree that
Daniel should be cast into a den of lions.

And the stone was brought
forth sealing the den.

Early next morning, the king rose
and went into the den of lions and spoke,

called to Daniel.

Daniel answered and spoke,
saying that the Lord had sent his angel

and had shut the lions' mouths,
for the Lord found no wrong in him."

I'm sorry, I can't read anymore.

You keep a-story tellin'
till I say you be finished.

But my... my throat's hurting.

We ain't sleepy.

You'll finish the whole book.

The whole book? I just can't.

"The king, hearing this,
demanded that Daniel be set free

and ordered the men
who had accused Daniel

and their wives and their
children cast into the den..."

"spoke to Noah, and said, 'A
flood of waters would cover the earth

and the valleys, the hills and
everything on the earth will die.

For men are doing these
things which are evil.

And you shall build an
ark and of every living thing,

the beasts of the fields and the
birds of the air, you shall take two.

And they shall go into the
ark with you and await the day.'

So Noah built the ark as the Lord
had asked and took it... took him to it..."

"his wife, his son's wife
and the beasts of the field

and the birds of the air and
two of a kind of every living thing.

And it came to pass that rain
fell, and for 40 days and 40 nights,

flooding the earth as the Lord
had said. Only the ark remained

and was lifted upon the waters and
for 150 days floated upon the waters.

And the Lord sent
the winds to the ark.

The ark sailed the seas
above the valleys and the hills."

"It came to pass and the waters
were soon gone from the earth.

And the Lord again spoke to Noah
that he should leave the ark with his wife

and their sons' wives and the beasts
in the field and the birds of the air.

And the Lord sent a
rainbow to cover the sky...

to cover the sky and it was
his sign to all living creatures

that a covenant had been made."

You all right, Miss Royce? I
mean, considerin' everything?

How we riddin' 'em, Pa?

Sink 'em with
rocks in the river.

Mr. Haggen, what are
they going to do to us?

Well, when fellas like these
here'ns get in this deep,

why, they won't
hardly stop at nothin'.

Do they intend to kill us?

Once that wagon wheel's fixed,

and that youngun and these
here hides is loaded in it,

they ain't fixin' to let us go.

I suppose I appeared
very stupid to you.

Oh, no, ma'am.

A mite green hornish maybe.

Maybe even greener than most.

You like what you do, ma'am?

Bein' a teacher
and such as that?

Well, it's my life, Mr. Haggen.

Vermont's a lot
different from Kansas.

And I thought this was
going to be a challenge, but...

Well, let me tell you something.

If it hadn't a-been for
these here Yewkers,

you'd have been just fine
a-lookin' out for yourself.

And we ain't licked
yet, by a long shot.

Mr. Haggen, you're
a remarkable man.

That old rawhide's
tougher than a hickory tree.

I just hope them
Yewkers is late sleepers.

Hard to get an edge on this.

That's it.


Oh! I've lost my shoe!

I hate to hurry you
like this, Miss Royce.

But we gotta make that river and
bust up this trail we've been leaving.

- Maybe they won't be following.
- Of course they'll be followin' us.

Them Yewkers ain't gonna
let no deputy marshal get out

and spread the word that there's a
bunch of thieves or worse up here.

- Now, come on.
- I've got my shoe on.

Come on!

Keep going!

Don't stop!


- Ah!
- Hurry up!

Come on!

Hurry up!

- Come on!
- Ah!

Can't quit now! Come on!

Come on!

- Ah!
- You stay here now and wait for me.

Where are you going?

I got to get a-hold
of one of them guns.

Stay down, now!

No! No!

Just pure olde luck them
fellas showin' up, wasn't it?


Why, he came back for some
more Wyandotte porridge.

Cast thy bread upon
the water, Mr. Haggen.

Here, turn around so I get a
little light from that window here.

- What's that?
- Never mind what it is.

It's not gonna hurt
you. Just hold still here.

Well, Doc, it's just
a little dab of water.

Maybe we'd oughta just
let nature take its course.

Just hold still,
it might be just...

It might be more than
water. I wanna have a...


See anything, Doc?

Just your other ear. There's
not another thing in between.

All right, smart aleck.

Stop doing that now. You got a
slight infection in there, Festus,

and I want you to take these two
pills here before you go to bed tonight.

Well, Doc, supposin' I wasn't
to go to bed tonight at all.

What am I supposed
to do with 'em then?


Stick 'em in your ear.

I swear to goodness, if I
had another patient like you,

I'd need a doctor myself!

Yeah, but you wouldn't
take no chance on gettin' sick

and havin' to get
doctored by your own self.

Oh, shut up. Now you're gettin'
so smart, we'll talk about my fee.

- That'll be 25 cents.
- Twenty-five cents?

- Twenty-five cents!
- Well, my ear ain't a-feelin'

- no better.
- Well, it's no worse, is it?

- Well, no.
- There you are.

An ear gets better,
it gets worse.

If it's not getting any
worse, it's getting better.

Come on, the office call's over
and I'll charge you for the hour

if you don't get out of here.

- Stop doing that.
- What'd you say?

I said stop banging your ear like
that. You're making me nervous.

Well, I don't give a hoot
if it's making you nervous.

Got water in my ear. When
a fella's got water in his ear,

- he can't hear a blamed thing.
- Well, that's not gonna do it.

- Oh. Hi, Matt.
- Matthew.

- Doc. How's the Yewker boy?
- He's gonna be all right, I think.

What's gonna happen to him?

Well, I'm gonna put in a word
with Judge Brooker for him.

According to what Festus
tells me, he sure deserves it.

- Come on, I'll buy you two a beer.
- Oh. Sounds good, Matthew.

Well, you didn't have
any trouble hearin' that.

Oh, smart...

- Thank you.
- Well, where do you think you're going?

Why, to the mission
school, of course.

Well, you can't go
up there by yourself.

- Why not?
- Well, just because them Yewkers

is in jail, ain't no sign
that there ain't others

just like 'em up
along that trail.

You can't be goin' up there
by yourself, don't you see?

Mr. Haggen, I appreciate your concern,
but I've wasted enough time already.

- Hey, wait up!
- Ho!

Always prepared, Mr. Haggen.


He looks kinda cute with that
little umbrella though, don't he?

Well, she should've
given him the blue one.

- Why's that?
- Match his eyes.

Stay tuned for scenes
from next week's Gunsmoke.

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