Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 12, Episode 20 - Old Friend - full transcript
(dramatic theme music playing)
(both guns fire)
ANNOUNCER: starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
(flames crackling)
Charley.
Ride on, Marshal,
before somebody puts
a bullet in your back.
Charley, what happened?
The Apache brothers,
that's what happened.
Them and their riders,
like you didn't know.
Why did you come back for?
Why shouldn't I come back?
This is my town.
Yeah, your town for 11 years.
So why did you leave us
when we needed you the most?
I didn't leave you.
I was called.
I know, you were
called to Bisbee.
Weren't you lucky?
Set one foot on my property,
and I'll smash your skull.
Get out of here, Marshal.
Gus.
Didn't expect to
see you back here.
Now, you hold it right there.
You'll get no fight
out of me, Burl.
I never was one for
fightin'. You know that.
All I do is play piano.
When did they come?
About two hours after you left.
Willa ain't inside.
Where is she?
She never did like
running the Silver Lady.
- Where is she?
- Wasn't exciting enough for her,
- and it didn't make enough money to...
- Gus!
She went with the
Apache brothers.
She sure saved your neck
getting you to
ride out to Bisbee.
She didn't get me
to ride out to Bisbee.
That's the way
the town figured it.
None of my affair at all.
Like I said, all I
do is play piano.
♪♪
(theme music playing)
♪♪
Well, now, what in
the tarnation's that?
Well, it's catfish.
That's what you ordered.
Ain't nothin' says
that's catfish.
Well, of course it's a
catfish. Go on and eat it.
- Just eat it.
- Oh, no, I ain't no fool.
(chuckles) You're a
fool, and that's a catfish.
Well, then where is his head at?
Well, good heavens,
his head isn't there,
but he's back in the kitchen...
Well, then how do you
know he's a catfish?
I'll tell you something,
us Haggens don't
never eat no fish
unless he's got his head on it,
or how do you know
it ain't a mermaid?
Could be a what?
A mermaid.
Us Haggens don't
never eat no fish
that ain't got a head on it,
or how can you tell
it ain't a mermaid?
By thunder, I think
you really believe that.
Well, of course I mean it.
Anybody that don't
believe in mermaids
is crazy in the head.
Mermaids that size?
You don't think they're
born full-growed, do you?
Oh, I see.
(chuckling): That's
a baby mermaid.
I didn't say it was.
I said it could be.
But you... you can't really tell
without the head... is that it?
Nobody can tell.
Us Haggens ain't
a-fixin' to eat no fish
that ain't got his head on it.
Don't let that bother
you none, though.
Probably wouldn't bother
a old scutter like you
to know that you're
practical a cannibal.
Well, go on.
She can't bite you with
her head lopped off.
Oh, get out of here, will you,
before I do something I'm sorry.
All right, I'm going.
Some folks will eat
anything, but not us Haggens.
We're particular
about what we eat.
Go ahead, just chomp
your fool head off.
(sets fork on plate)
Waiter?
Oh.
Bring me...
Just bring me a couple of
soft-boiled eggs, will you?
(humming a tune)
(stops humming)
(crickets chirping)
Howdy.
Just get into town, did you?
That's right.
I can see by all
the trail dust on you
that you must've
came a far piece.
Far enough.
Looking for a place
to bed down, are you?
Maybe later.
Well, what I was figuring was...
If you're fixin'
to stay in town,
I know where you
can get you a room.
It's a very T-I-inctum-dinctum,
and it'll cost you
next to nothing.
Hot bath to boot.
I suppose there's a small
charge for all these services?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
Just that when a
stranger comes into town,
why, natural, I try
to be neighborly
and help out all I can.
The name's Haggen,
Festus Haggen.
Tell you what, Mr. Haggen,
take my horse over
to the livery stable.
See to it he gets
fed and curried.
That's mighty thoughty
of you, Mister...
Masters.
I'll do her, Mr. Masters.
You betcha.
Willie.
Psst.
Take this horse
over to Hank's place.
Get him fed, curried,
took care of good,
now, you understand?
Here's a dollar for Hank.
And here's a a nickel for
you to keep for yourself.
Well, thank you, Mr. Haggen.
(humming a tune)
(lively piano music playing)
I thought you was
looking after my horse.
Oh, I done did
that, Mr. Masters.
Right about now, your horse
is being put into the best hands
in this whole town
of Dodge City.
When that horse of
your'n gets back here,
you won't even hardly know him.
He'll be slicker than a seal
and fatter than a town dog.
Now, I'll guarantee you that.
Mr. Haggen, how do I
know I can trust you?
- Trust me?
- Mm-hmm.
Why, shoot, everybody
in town knows...
(door opens)
Well, there's Miss Kitty.
- She'll tell you.
- (door closes)
Miss Kitty, I want you to
howdy a friend of mine.
This here's Mr. Masters.
Mr. Masters, this
here's Miss Kitty Russell.
She owns this whole place.
Mr. Masters.
Howdy, Miss Russell.
(sighs)
Well, uh, have you and
Festus known each other long?
No, I was just
going to ask you that.
Yeah, he, um...
he says you can vouch for him.
Oh?
Well, see, Miss
Kitty, all I done was...
I had his horse took
down to the livery stable.
That's all I done.
Well, if that's all it is,
then I'd say that
you were in, um...
reasonably good hands.
Where you from, Mr. Masters?
♪♪
Dead.
I'll take the gun, mister.
What?
I said I'll take the gun.
It was self-defense, Marshal.
Reckon you'd have
to say that, Matthew.
They both drawed
at the same time.
I'm afraid you'll still have to
come down to the office with me.
Well, you might be able to
get me down there, Marshal,
if you was to take
your spurs off.
Well, what's it
going to be, lawman?
Burl Masters.
By golly, I thought it was you.
Hello, Matt.
Been a long time.
What brings you to Dodge... him?
Yeah. He was riding
with the Apache brothers.
The Apache brothers?
They around here?
Yeah, I heard they
drifted up this way.
I've been trailing them off
and on for about six months.
Festus, maybe you
can get a couple men
to help you out with him.
Oh, Doc, I want you
to meet Burl Masters.
- Doc Adams, Burl.
- Hi.
One of the best lawmen
in the state of Arizona.
That so? What about the...
what about those spurs?
Well, now, that's a...
that's a little bit of a story.
By golly, we better have
a drink and talk that over.
Riley, come on and help me here.
Pick him up, now.
Give me... give
me his gun there.
Here. Go on and pick him up now.
Take him on over across there.
(chuckles) So Matt... Matt says,
"You can have the wagon,
and you can have the girl,
see, provided you're man
enough to fight for her."
(Dillon chuckles)
DILLON: The girl just wanted
to get back to the wagon train.
It was his idea to
bring her to Tucson.
(laughing): Oh, no, no, no, no.
She wanted to go
on to Tucson with us.
She was sure a
pretty little thing.
She didn't want to end up
marrying some old dirt farmer.
Kitty, I hope you're
not believing any of this.
MASTERS (laughing):
So Matt... so Matt,
he wanted everything
to be done proper, see,
so I fought him for
the wagon and the girl.
Well, now, I can tell
from the look on his face
you must have beat him.
No, no, no.
No, it was a draw,
as it turned out.
See, we were wrestling
around on the alkali.
You asked about his spurs.
I landed right on one of them.
(laughing): Oh, I let out a howl
you could've heard
across the border.
That's the first part of
the story I recognize.
(laughter)
Let me tell you.
When he saw the blood,
that was the end of it, see.
But when we looked up,
the girl, the wagon and
all the supplies was gone.
(laughing): Tell me you
don't remember that one.
Sam will bring us
another bottle, Mr. Masters.
Have you, uh... you
lost any supplies lately?
(laughter)
By golly, Matt, he
seems like quite a fella.
Oh, he is, Doc.
We had a lot of good times
together back in those days.
Sure beats anything
I ever saw with a gun.
Well, all took care of, Matthew.
Good.
This don't look like
much of a celebration.
Well, things have been rather
pleasant here up until now.
Why? Don't we look happy?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
It's just that your
ears are still lily white.
That's all.
What's my ear got to do with it?
Well, usually, after you
have a swallow or two,
why, your ears gets
pink around the edges.
Don't they, Miss Kitty?
As a matter of fact, they do.
- Oh, hush up, now.
- (laughter)
Mr. Haggen, I'm very
glad you could join us.
Oh, much obliged, Mr. Masters.
I'd like to propose a toast.
To Dodge City...
and Matt Dillon
and all his friends.
May they always be friends.
FESTUS: Well,
I'll drink to that.
Well, you'll drink to anything.
Especially if it's free.
(laughter)
(sniffs)
Oh, smell that.
What's that?
Prairie wheat.
Ripening early this year.
Reminds me of a long time ago.
You've been remembering
a lot of things tonight.
(chuckling): Ain't that a fact.
You've got quite a town, Matt.
Good friends.
Well, I've had a
lot of good luck.
I had a town like this once.
Good friends, too.
Burl, you know, I heard what
happened down in Colton to you.
I'd like to tell you that,
if there's anything I
can ever do to help you...
They tore my town
apart, killed my woman.
Six months I've
been trailing them.
The only thing left for me now
is the satisfaction
of getting them.
That and an old friend
who used to wear spurs
the size of supper plates.
♪♪
That was quite a
reunion last night.
One thing I can say for Burl
Masters... he's some host.
Spent a fair country
amount of money, too.
Let's go, barkeep.
Another bottle!
It's a long way back to Texas.
We got to soak down real
good to make the desert.
(laughter)
Come on, Charlie.
We need a new bottle.
You boys were
scraping the bottom
to pay for that last one.
If you figure on getting
all the way back to Texas...
Oh, don't give it
another thought.
I... I got my...
There. There you are.
You're still a dollar short.
Oh, what do you mean?
After all the money
we spent in this place?
A... lousy dollar.
All right, cowboy.
- You can have the bottle.
- Uh-huh.
But I suggest you and your
friends go camp someplace
and save it until tomorrow.
Thank you, lady.
Hey, you come on over
and have a drink with us.
- You're all right.
- No, thank you.
- You're all right.
- No...
You sit down there.
Next time, maybe,
when you're up the trail.
Oh, there ain't nobody in Kansas
that had a decent word for us.
I don't think we're
ever gonna come back.
KITTY: Oh, now,
I'm sure you will.
Move on, cowboy.
Hmm?
Go throwing a man
around thataway.
It's all right, Burl.
They didn't mean anything.
I thought that big man we
see in the street last night
is the law around this town.
You boys been asked to move.
Ain't nobody gonna tie
no can to our tail, mister.
We ain't done nothing.
If you're looking
for trouble, friend,
why, you can have it
just any way you want to,
'cause we ain't
running from nothing.
Now, listen, boys.
Mr. Masters was just
coming to my defense.
Now, you'd do the same
thing yourselves, wouldn't you?
Oh, you didn't
need no defensing.
Masters?
Vern, this here's Burl Masters.
You did call him
Burl, didn't you, lady?
I'm Burl Masters.
Well, now, for... for butting in
where it ain't
none of your affair
and for the people of Colton...
DILLON: Burl!
What's going on here?
He... he was...
gonna gun him down.
Vern was just
taking his gun belt off.
Didn't look that way to me.
All right, you two, go
on and get out of here.
Don't you worry, Marshal.
We... we don't want
no part of Dodge City
if it backs up the like of him.
Burl, you seem a little edgy.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
No, thanks, Matt.
Um, you had breakfast?
Yeah, yeah, I
just ate something.
I came in for a starter.
Figure I've had one.
See you later.
♪♪
Matt, I, uh...
I know he's a
friend of yours, but...
Yeah.
(door opens and closes)
♪♪
Well, that ain't him.
I heard this one was an outlaw.
You don't say?
Rides with a bunch led by
the three Apache brothers.
Well, it ain't much
of a loss, then.
That's a fact.
He's the only one
brought in last night.
Well, my brother went
looking for a bottle last night
and he never come back to
camp, and I got a little worried.
(chuckles) Understandable.
Yeah, he's a real alligator
when he gets to drinking.
We were having at it last night.
Maybe he opened the bottle...
lost his way.
Yeah, I guess so.
You say a friend of the
marshal shot this fella?
Yeah, man named Masters.
Burl Masters.
♪♪
MAN: Willa?
WILLA: I'm coming.
MAN: Well, hurry up.
I am.
Honey, I got me a
hunger something fierce.
Never saw a man with
an appetite like yours.
Well, that's, uh, no
complaint, is it, missy?
The only complaint I
have, you heard before.
It won't be much longer.
That's a promise.
That I've heard before.
Dodge, maybe Bucklin...
one or two others.
And then we'll have us a stake.
Then me and you
and San Francisco.
Can't be soon enough for me.
Well, it will be quicker
than if you'd spent your
time with that marshal friend.
(chuckles softly)
I don't deny that.
Just like you can't deny
these last few months
haven't been too bad for you.
Uh-uh.
Not too bad.
(door opens)
Burl Masters is in Dodge.
He killed Deak.
(laughing)
Always said it'd call for a
man like Masters to take him.
Oh, that's funny.
Well, Masters has
killed three of our boys
in the last six months.
Yeah, I can count, big brother.
He'd have give up a long
time ago except for her.
Now, you back off.
Oh, blazes, I will.
You gotta fool with
everything in a skirt
just to prove you're a man.
I'll kill you, you...
Oh, turn him loose, Trail.
I'm tired of listening
to his whining.
Masters is doing well
enough cutting us down.
Now, cut it out, both of you!
We ain't got no
chance at Dodge now.
The marshal's his
friend... Fret said so.
They'll be waiting
for us, both of them.
Willa, looks like your friends
ain't had enough of
the Apache brothers.
Guess I always
knew he'd be after us.
Can't say I blame him.
Oh, it's not only me, Cheeno.
It's what you did to
Colton... To his whole town.
I left him still standing.
Looks like that was a mistake.
And how do we fix that
mistake before he gets us all?
Cheeno...
You could help us, Willa.
Have a little talk with him.
He'd kill me on sight.
Oh, I don't think so.
You don't think so?
Well, you said
yourself he wants us
for what happened to his town.
And if it came off, well,
we could get Masters and
the Dodge marshal, too.
No, Cheeno.
It worked in Colton.
Why not in Dodge?
No.
How bad you want to go
to San Francisco, Willa?
I don't want to die.
Won't be many more
chances for you to get there.
Well?
♪♪
Hey, you run quite
a town here, Matt.
Well, I don't
really run it, Burl.
It takes care of itself.
All I try to do is file off the
rough edges once in a while.
Tell me something.
Folks here ever turn on you?
Turn on you? What do you mean?
I don't know.
People have short
memories sometimes
when things go wrong.
(Masters chuckles)
Ah, just rambling.
Excuse me.
Fella works for Dick Norell
on a ranch west of town.
You know him?
No, I guess not.
I thought I did for a minute.
Burl, six months is
an awful long time
to be dogging somebody.
Not the Apache brothers.
They got me out
of my town, Matt.
Then they hit it.
They hit it something fierce.
Wasn't anybody
left there to stop 'em.
Do they know you're after 'em?
Yeah, the one I got last
night was the third one.
They know.
Well, the Apache brothers
are a pretty tough bunch.
(chuckles) Biggest
mistake they made
was heading up this way.
Hey, hey, you remember
those five rannies
we took on back
in Sedona when...
You start remembering
again if you want to.
I got work to do.
Hey, I'll buy you the biggest
steak in town for supper.
All right.
That's a deal.
You've changed, Burl.
Have I, Willa?
Yeah.
You've changed.
So, what brings you into Dodge?
I left Cheeno.
Or would you like it better if
I told you he threw me out?
Well, you don't need to worry.
You can make out all right.
I got nothing but empty
promises from him.
I promised you something else.
Not really, Burl.
Not really.
You just promised
it differently.
That's fine.
You got an answer for that.
Fine. So you walked out on me.
What about the people of Colton?
In all the time I was there,
did they ever give
me reason to care?
Ever?
Did they ever give you
reason to do what you did?
That's past, Burl.
Oh, no, it's not past; it's now.
It's-it's been now ever since
that day I rode back into town.
You didn't see what
they did to that place.
You would've been proud
of your friend Cheeno.
Tom Mars' place
burned to the ground.
Jim Tully, the banker...
Burned, killed...
- I don't want to hear!
- Why not? Hmm?
They never gave you
any reason to care.
Stop it!
Did getting away from
there mean all that to you?
Yes.
(Willa groans)
And where are you now?
Cheeno knows you're in Dodge.
He also knows you
killed Deak Wilson.
Good.
I want him to know.
I want him to sweat a little.
He told me to come here
and let you follow
me to the farm
where they're waiting.
All this time they've
been running,
and now they're waiting.
To ambush you.
And you're warning me.
Yeah.
Strange, isn't it?
Thought you said she was
killed in that raid on Colton.
As far as I'm concerned,
that's the way it was.
Well, what'd you
bring her here for?
She says the Apache
brothers are at a farm
few miles outside of town.
Is that true?
They're there.
How many of them are there?
Four of 'em.
Thad, get about
half a dozen men.
See if you can
find Charlie Briggs.
- We'll get him to stay with her.
- Right.
Where is this farm?
15 miles east.
Near a dry wash.
Could be old Merk
Danny's place, Matthew.
What happened to
the old folks over there?
I don't know.
Lock her up, will you, Festus?
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
(hoofbeats approaching)
(pots clang)
It's just like Cheeno
had it figured, Boley.
What about Willa?
Marshal locked her up.
We'll give 'em
another half hour.
Let's make sure they're
on their way out of town.
Cheeno, leave her be.
Let's hit the bank and
pull out. She's dead weight.
Big brother, you never did
go for the better things in life.
Not her kind, no denying.
Now, don't you
worry none, Boley,
'cause when the time
is right, I'll leave her be.
He means when he
finds the next one, Boley.
(Cheeno laughing)
What's the matter, Matt?
Either of you seen Burl?
We thought he was
up here with you.
Sam, you take the rest of
the boys on to Merk Danny's.
- Yes, sir.
- Festus, you and Thad come with me.
♪♪
♪♪
(keys jingling)
Burl...
You rotten, lying, little tramp.
No! You'll hurt me.
- They're coming here tonight, aren't they?
- No.
- Just the way they did in Colton.
- No!
You set me up once before,
and you thought you
were going to do it again.
- You're wrong.
- Am I, Willa?
If you think that, why
didn't you bring the marshal?
(Willa grunts)
Because they're
mine, that's why.
They're mine to kill.
I don't need Matt Dillon
or anybody else to help me.
I got three of them
already, and I'll get the rest.
Then it'll be your turn.
No. No, Burl, stop.
Six months... six
months of hating so hard,
it like to ate out my guts.
Well, I saved
your life in Colton.
And you let my town die.
Well, I couldn't stop them.
You could have told me
what was going to happen.
Well, there were seven of
them. What would you have done?
My job... that's what
I would have done.
Well, you'll just get your
chance soon enough.
Then I was right.
They are coming back here.
Yeah, yeah, they're coming.
Only this time, there
are four of them.
But there's Cheeno, and
he's worth a dozen men
and worth a dozen of you.
You won't even have a prayer.
Burl, he was a friend
of the marshal's.
(Willa yells)
♪♪
♪♪
Well...
let's go burn us a town.
♪♪
- (Willa groans)
- All right. Easy.
- Are you hurt?
- I'm fine.
What happened here?
Burl... he came
in like a madman.
He... And he killed that man.
I thought he was
going to kill me.
Where is he now?
WILLA: Oh, I don't know.
He hit me... That's
all I remember.
DILLON: What about
the Apache brothers?
- They're coming.
- When?
I don't know. They said
they were going to give you
and the posse time enough
to get far enough away.
They should be
here any time now.
Thanks.
Thad, you better stay with her.
They may try to
double back here.
Come on, Festus.
FESTUS: Where in the tarnation
do we start looking
for him, Matthew?
Well, they'll
probably hit the bank.
At least that's what I'm
counting on Burl thinking.
(crickets chirping)
(quiet footsteps)
He's got to be around
here somewhere.
Yeah.
Festus, you go take
cover over there.
Matthew, you
better watch it, now,
'cause he's liable to
take a potshot at you.
Yeah, well, that's a
chance I'll have to take.
♪♪
Burl, it's Matt Dillon.
Matt?
Burl, put that gun down.
I can't do it, Matt.
The Apache brothers are coming.
You killed Charlie Briggs.
It was an accident.
Put the gun away and
come down out of there.
Get off the street.
I'll come down after I get
Cheeno and the others.
You come down now.
Don't do it.
Don't make me hurt you.
Now, get off the street.
I'm going to tell you once more.
Put the gun away and come
down, or I'm coming up after you.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Well, like the man says,
easy as custard pudding.
Which do we take
first... Willa or the bank?
Oh, money will get
me another Willa.
If there's no trouble,
we'll pick her up
on the way out of town.
When I checked it out,
the safe looked to
be real easy to blow.
Yes, sir.
Easy as custard pudding.
He's up there, Matthew.
(hoofbeats in distance)
Reckon that could be them?
We'll know before long.
We will be glad to have
Masters' gun helping us out.
(horse neighs)
(gunfire continues)
(gunfire continues)
Don't shoot.
Burl.
Put that gun down.
He's the last one, Matthew.
You can't shoot an
unarmed man down like that.
That's Cheeno. He's the leader.
He's the one that
burned my town.
I'm going to kill him.
You'll have to shoot me first.
Did I get him?
Yeah, you got him.
Well, let some
folks hear about it.
They'll hear.
It had to be, Matt.
I-I had to do it.
Yeah.
Matt, Matt...
I'm sorry about that
man I killed in the jail.
Matt...
whatever happened
to those spurs of yours?
♪♪
The last few weeks, my
mouth's just been a-waterin'
for a mess of
fresh-caught pan-fryers.
Ain't no earthly
reason in the world
why you can't go
with me, Matthew.
It would do you good.
Festus, there's one good reason.
If we both go fishing
at the same time,
who's going to look
after the office here?
Oh, well, nothing's
going to happen
in the next three hours or so.
If you're so anxious
to go fishing,
why don't you take Doc with you?
Now, wait a minute.
Well, I would except
for one reason.
What's that?
Well, I always catch
more fish than he does,
and he gets mad and...
That's a bold-faced
lie right there.
It ain't neither.
Then you're always hoo-rahing
me about my willer pole.
Saying, "Oh, my fishing
outfit's good. It's..."
Mine is better than yours.
Well, it ain't neither.
How come I always catch
more fish than you do?
- THAD: Howdy, Festus.
- FESTUS: Thad.
- DILLON: Hi, Thad.
- THAD: Matt.
Well, did you get Willa
Prayther up to Hays all right?
Yeah. Sheriff signed
the release forms.
Oh, thanks.
DOC: You look
kind of tired, Thad.
Well, I am. I've been in
the saddle since sunup.
FESTUS: Thad, how about
you and me going fishing?
I'd like to, Festus.
Right now, I'm just too tired.
Besides, I've had enough fish
to last me for quite a few days.
When?
Oh, I stopped off on the
way back from Hays City.
You mean you went fishing?
Well, I told you I might.
You didn't neither.
You said, if I was to
go with you to Hays City,
that you might go fishing.
Well?
Well, I didn't go with you.
Festus, I'm too tired to
try and figure that one out.
Here, have some coffee.
I'm going to bed.
I don't want it. I
done had all the coff...
(door closes)
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned for
scenes from next week's Gunsmoke.
(both guns fire)
ANNOUNCER: starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
(flames crackling)
Charley.
Ride on, Marshal,
before somebody puts
a bullet in your back.
Charley, what happened?
The Apache brothers,
that's what happened.
Them and their riders,
like you didn't know.
Why did you come back for?
Why shouldn't I come back?
This is my town.
Yeah, your town for 11 years.
So why did you leave us
when we needed you the most?
I didn't leave you.
I was called.
I know, you were
called to Bisbee.
Weren't you lucky?
Set one foot on my property,
and I'll smash your skull.
Get out of here, Marshal.
Gus.
Didn't expect to
see you back here.
Now, you hold it right there.
You'll get no fight
out of me, Burl.
I never was one for
fightin'. You know that.
All I do is play piano.
When did they come?
About two hours after you left.
Willa ain't inside.
Where is she?
She never did like
running the Silver Lady.
- Where is she?
- Wasn't exciting enough for her,
- and it didn't make enough money to...
- Gus!
She went with the
Apache brothers.
She sure saved your neck
getting you to
ride out to Bisbee.
She didn't get me
to ride out to Bisbee.
That's the way
the town figured it.
None of my affair at all.
Like I said, all I
do is play piano.
♪♪
(theme music playing)
♪♪
Well, now, what in
the tarnation's that?
Well, it's catfish.
That's what you ordered.
Ain't nothin' says
that's catfish.
Well, of course it's a
catfish. Go on and eat it.
- Just eat it.
- Oh, no, I ain't no fool.
(chuckles) You're a
fool, and that's a catfish.
Well, then where is his head at?
Well, good heavens,
his head isn't there,
but he's back in the kitchen...
Well, then how do you
know he's a catfish?
I'll tell you something,
us Haggens don't
never eat no fish
unless he's got his head on it,
or how do you know
it ain't a mermaid?
Could be a what?
A mermaid.
Us Haggens don't
never eat no fish
that ain't got a head on it,
or how can you tell
it ain't a mermaid?
By thunder, I think
you really believe that.
Well, of course I mean it.
Anybody that don't
believe in mermaids
is crazy in the head.
Mermaids that size?
You don't think they're
born full-growed, do you?
Oh, I see.
(chuckling): That's
a baby mermaid.
I didn't say it was.
I said it could be.
But you... you can't really tell
without the head... is that it?
Nobody can tell.
Us Haggens ain't
a-fixin' to eat no fish
that ain't got his head on it.
Don't let that bother
you none, though.
Probably wouldn't bother
a old scutter like you
to know that you're
practical a cannibal.
Well, go on.
She can't bite you with
her head lopped off.
Oh, get out of here, will you,
before I do something I'm sorry.
All right, I'm going.
Some folks will eat
anything, but not us Haggens.
We're particular
about what we eat.
Go ahead, just chomp
your fool head off.
(sets fork on plate)
Waiter?
Oh.
Bring me...
Just bring me a couple of
soft-boiled eggs, will you?
(humming a tune)
(stops humming)
(crickets chirping)
Howdy.
Just get into town, did you?
That's right.
I can see by all
the trail dust on you
that you must've
came a far piece.
Far enough.
Looking for a place
to bed down, are you?
Maybe later.
Well, what I was figuring was...
If you're fixin'
to stay in town,
I know where you
can get you a room.
It's a very T-I-inctum-dinctum,
and it'll cost you
next to nothing.
Hot bath to boot.
I suppose there's a small
charge for all these services?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
Just that when a
stranger comes into town,
why, natural, I try
to be neighborly
and help out all I can.
The name's Haggen,
Festus Haggen.
Tell you what, Mr. Haggen,
take my horse over
to the livery stable.
See to it he gets
fed and curried.
That's mighty thoughty
of you, Mister...
Masters.
I'll do her, Mr. Masters.
You betcha.
Willie.
Psst.
Take this horse
over to Hank's place.
Get him fed, curried,
took care of good,
now, you understand?
Here's a dollar for Hank.
And here's a a nickel for
you to keep for yourself.
Well, thank you, Mr. Haggen.
(humming a tune)
(lively piano music playing)
I thought you was
looking after my horse.
Oh, I done did
that, Mr. Masters.
Right about now, your horse
is being put into the best hands
in this whole town
of Dodge City.
When that horse of
your'n gets back here,
you won't even hardly know him.
He'll be slicker than a seal
and fatter than a town dog.
Now, I'll guarantee you that.
Mr. Haggen, how do I
know I can trust you?
- Trust me?
- Mm-hmm.
Why, shoot, everybody
in town knows...
(door opens)
Well, there's Miss Kitty.
- She'll tell you.
- (door closes)
Miss Kitty, I want you to
howdy a friend of mine.
This here's Mr. Masters.
Mr. Masters, this
here's Miss Kitty Russell.
She owns this whole place.
Mr. Masters.
Howdy, Miss Russell.
(sighs)
Well, uh, have you and
Festus known each other long?
No, I was just
going to ask you that.
Yeah, he, um...
he says you can vouch for him.
Oh?
Well, see, Miss
Kitty, all I done was...
I had his horse took
down to the livery stable.
That's all I done.
Well, if that's all it is,
then I'd say that
you were in, um...
reasonably good hands.
Where you from, Mr. Masters?
♪♪
Dead.
I'll take the gun, mister.
What?
I said I'll take the gun.
It was self-defense, Marshal.
Reckon you'd have
to say that, Matthew.
They both drawed
at the same time.
I'm afraid you'll still have to
come down to the office with me.
Well, you might be able to
get me down there, Marshal,
if you was to take
your spurs off.
Well, what's it
going to be, lawman?
Burl Masters.
By golly, I thought it was you.
Hello, Matt.
Been a long time.
What brings you to Dodge... him?
Yeah. He was riding
with the Apache brothers.
The Apache brothers?
They around here?
Yeah, I heard they
drifted up this way.
I've been trailing them off
and on for about six months.
Festus, maybe you
can get a couple men
to help you out with him.
Oh, Doc, I want you
to meet Burl Masters.
- Doc Adams, Burl.
- Hi.
One of the best lawmen
in the state of Arizona.
That so? What about the...
what about those spurs?
Well, now, that's a...
that's a little bit of a story.
By golly, we better have
a drink and talk that over.
Riley, come on and help me here.
Pick him up, now.
Give me... give
me his gun there.
Here. Go on and pick him up now.
Take him on over across there.
(chuckles) So Matt... Matt says,
"You can have the wagon,
and you can have the girl,
see, provided you're man
enough to fight for her."
(Dillon chuckles)
DILLON: The girl just wanted
to get back to the wagon train.
It was his idea to
bring her to Tucson.
(laughing): Oh, no, no, no, no.
She wanted to go
on to Tucson with us.
She was sure a
pretty little thing.
She didn't want to end up
marrying some old dirt farmer.
Kitty, I hope you're
not believing any of this.
MASTERS (laughing):
So Matt... so Matt,
he wanted everything
to be done proper, see,
so I fought him for
the wagon and the girl.
Well, now, I can tell
from the look on his face
you must have beat him.
No, no, no.
No, it was a draw,
as it turned out.
See, we were wrestling
around on the alkali.
You asked about his spurs.
I landed right on one of them.
(laughing): Oh, I let out a howl
you could've heard
across the border.
That's the first part of
the story I recognize.
(laughter)
Let me tell you.
When he saw the blood,
that was the end of it, see.
But when we looked up,
the girl, the wagon and
all the supplies was gone.
(laughing): Tell me you
don't remember that one.
Sam will bring us
another bottle, Mr. Masters.
Have you, uh... you
lost any supplies lately?
(laughter)
By golly, Matt, he
seems like quite a fella.
Oh, he is, Doc.
We had a lot of good times
together back in those days.
Sure beats anything
I ever saw with a gun.
Well, all took care of, Matthew.
Good.
This don't look like
much of a celebration.
Well, things have been rather
pleasant here up until now.
Why? Don't we look happy?
Well, I wouldn't say that.
It's just that your
ears are still lily white.
That's all.
What's my ear got to do with it?
Well, usually, after you
have a swallow or two,
why, your ears gets
pink around the edges.
Don't they, Miss Kitty?
As a matter of fact, they do.
- Oh, hush up, now.
- (laughter)
Mr. Haggen, I'm very
glad you could join us.
Oh, much obliged, Mr. Masters.
I'd like to propose a toast.
To Dodge City...
and Matt Dillon
and all his friends.
May they always be friends.
FESTUS: Well,
I'll drink to that.
Well, you'll drink to anything.
Especially if it's free.
(laughter)
(sniffs)
Oh, smell that.
What's that?
Prairie wheat.
Ripening early this year.
Reminds me of a long time ago.
You've been remembering
a lot of things tonight.
(chuckling): Ain't that a fact.
You've got quite a town, Matt.
Good friends.
Well, I've had a
lot of good luck.
I had a town like this once.
Good friends, too.
Burl, you know, I heard what
happened down in Colton to you.
I'd like to tell you that,
if there's anything I
can ever do to help you...
They tore my town
apart, killed my woman.
Six months I've
been trailing them.
The only thing left for me now
is the satisfaction
of getting them.
That and an old friend
who used to wear spurs
the size of supper plates.
♪♪
That was quite a
reunion last night.
One thing I can say for Burl
Masters... he's some host.
Spent a fair country
amount of money, too.
Let's go, barkeep.
Another bottle!
It's a long way back to Texas.
We got to soak down real
good to make the desert.
(laughter)
Come on, Charlie.
We need a new bottle.
You boys were
scraping the bottom
to pay for that last one.
If you figure on getting
all the way back to Texas...
Oh, don't give it
another thought.
I... I got my...
There. There you are.
You're still a dollar short.
Oh, what do you mean?
After all the money
we spent in this place?
A... lousy dollar.
All right, cowboy.
- You can have the bottle.
- Uh-huh.
But I suggest you and your
friends go camp someplace
and save it until tomorrow.
Thank you, lady.
Hey, you come on over
and have a drink with us.
- You're all right.
- No, thank you.
- You're all right.
- No...
You sit down there.
Next time, maybe,
when you're up the trail.
Oh, there ain't nobody in Kansas
that had a decent word for us.
I don't think we're
ever gonna come back.
KITTY: Oh, now,
I'm sure you will.
Move on, cowboy.
Hmm?
Go throwing a man
around thataway.
It's all right, Burl.
They didn't mean anything.
I thought that big man we
see in the street last night
is the law around this town.
You boys been asked to move.
Ain't nobody gonna tie
no can to our tail, mister.
We ain't done nothing.
If you're looking
for trouble, friend,
why, you can have it
just any way you want to,
'cause we ain't
running from nothing.
Now, listen, boys.
Mr. Masters was just
coming to my defense.
Now, you'd do the same
thing yourselves, wouldn't you?
Oh, you didn't
need no defensing.
Masters?
Vern, this here's Burl Masters.
You did call him
Burl, didn't you, lady?
I'm Burl Masters.
Well, now, for... for butting in
where it ain't
none of your affair
and for the people of Colton...
DILLON: Burl!
What's going on here?
He... he was...
gonna gun him down.
Vern was just
taking his gun belt off.
Didn't look that way to me.
All right, you two, go
on and get out of here.
Don't you worry, Marshal.
We... we don't want
no part of Dodge City
if it backs up the like of him.
Burl, you seem a little edgy.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
No, thanks, Matt.
Um, you had breakfast?
Yeah, yeah, I
just ate something.
I came in for a starter.
Figure I've had one.
See you later.
♪♪
Matt, I, uh...
I know he's a
friend of yours, but...
Yeah.
(door opens and closes)
♪♪
Well, that ain't him.
I heard this one was an outlaw.
You don't say?
Rides with a bunch led by
the three Apache brothers.
Well, it ain't much
of a loss, then.
That's a fact.
He's the only one
brought in last night.
Well, my brother went
looking for a bottle last night
and he never come back to
camp, and I got a little worried.
(chuckles) Understandable.
Yeah, he's a real alligator
when he gets to drinking.
We were having at it last night.
Maybe he opened the bottle...
lost his way.
Yeah, I guess so.
You say a friend of the
marshal shot this fella?
Yeah, man named Masters.
Burl Masters.
♪♪
MAN: Willa?
WILLA: I'm coming.
MAN: Well, hurry up.
I am.
Honey, I got me a
hunger something fierce.
Never saw a man with
an appetite like yours.
Well, that's, uh, no
complaint, is it, missy?
The only complaint I
have, you heard before.
It won't be much longer.
That's a promise.
That I've heard before.
Dodge, maybe Bucklin...
one or two others.
And then we'll have us a stake.
Then me and you
and San Francisco.
Can't be soon enough for me.
Well, it will be quicker
than if you'd spent your
time with that marshal friend.
(chuckles softly)
I don't deny that.
Just like you can't deny
these last few months
haven't been too bad for you.
Uh-uh.
Not too bad.
(door opens)
Burl Masters is in Dodge.
He killed Deak.
(laughing)
Always said it'd call for a
man like Masters to take him.
Oh, that's funny.
Well, Masters has
killed three of our boys
in the last six months.
Yeah, I can count, big brother.
He'd have give up a long
time ago except for her.
Now, you back off.
Oh, blazes, I will.
You gotta fool with
everything in a skirt
just to prove you're a man.
I'll kill you, you...
Oh, turn him loose, Trail.
I'm tired of listening
to his whining.
Masters is doing well
enough cutting us down.
Now, cut it out, both of you!
We ain't got no
chance at Dodge now.
The marshal's his
friend... Fret said so.
They'll be waiting
for us, both of them.
Willa, looks like your friends
ain't had enough of
the Apache brothers.
Guess I always
knew he'd be after us.
Can't say I blame him.
Oh, it's not only me, Cheeno.
It's what you did to
Colton... To his whole town.
I left him still standing.
Looks like that was a mistake.
And how do we fix that
mistake before he gets us all?
Cheeno...
You could help us, Willa.
Have a little talk with him.
He'd kill me on sight.
Oh, I don't think so.
You don't think so?
Well, you said
yourself he wants us
for what happened to his town.
And if it came off, well,
we could get Masters and
the Dodge marshal, too.
No, Cheeno.
It worked in Colton.
Why not in Dodge?
No.
How bad you want to go
to San Francisco, Willa?
I don't want to die.
Won't be many more
chances for you to get there.
Well?
♪♪
Hey, you run quite
a town here, Matt.
Well, I don't
really run it, Burl.
It takes care of itself.
All I try to do is file off the
rough edges once in a while.
Tell me something.
Folks here ever turn on you?
Turn on you? What do you mean?
I don't know.
People have short
memories sometimes
when things go wrong.
(Masters chuckles)
Ah, just rambling.
Excuse me.
Fella works for Dick Norell
on a ranch west of town.
You know him?
No, I guess not.
I thought I did for a minute.
Burl, six months is
an awful long time
to be dogging somebody.
Not the Apache brothers.
They got me out
of my town, Matt.
Then they hit it.
They hit it something fierce.
Wasn't anybody
left there to stop 'em.
Do they know you're after 'em?
Yeah, the one I got last
night was the third one.
They know.
Well, the Apache brothers
are a pretty tough bunch.
(chuckles) Biggest
mistake they made
was heading up this way.
Hey, hey, you remember
those five rannies
we took on back
in Sedona when...
You start remembering
again if you want to.
I got work to do.
Hey, I'll buy you the biggest
steak in town for supper.
All right.
That's a deal.
You've changed, Burl.
Have I, Willa?
Yeah.
You've changed.
So, what brings you into Dodge?
I left Cheeno.
Or would you like it better if
I told you he threw me out?
Well, you don't need to worry.
You can make out all right.
I got nothing but empty
promises from him.
I promised you something else.
Not really, Burl.
Not really.
You just promised
it differently.
That's fine.
You got an answer for that.
Fine. So you walked out on me.
What about the people of Colton?
In all the time I was there,
did they ever give
me reason to care?
Ever?
Did they ever give you
reason to do what you did?
That's past, Burl.
Oh, no, it's not past; it's now.
It's-it's been now ever since
that day I rode back into town.
You didn't see what
they did to that place.
You would've been proud
of your friend Cheeno.
Tom Mars' place
burned to the ground.
Jim Tully, the banker...
Burned, killed...
- I don't want to hear!
- Why not? Hmm?
They never gave you
any reason to care.
Stop it!
Did getting away from
there mean all that to you?
Yes.
(Willa groans)
And where are you now?
Cheeno knows you're in Dodge.
He also knows you
killed Deak Wilson.
Good.
I want him to know.
I want him to sweat a little.
He told me to come here
and let you follow
me to the farm
where they're waiting.
All this time they've
been running,
and now they're waiting.
To ambush you.
And you're warning me.
Yeah.
Strange, isn't it?
Thought you said she was
killed in that raid on Colton.
As far as I'm concerned,
that's the way it was.
Well, what'd you
bring her here for?
She says the Apache
brothers are at a farm
few miles outside of town.
Is that true?
They're there.
How many of them are there?
Four of 'em.
Thad, get about
half a dozen men.
See if you can
find Charlie Briggs.
- We'll get him to stay with her.
- Right.
Where is this farm?
15 miles east.
Near a dry wash.
Could be old Merk
Danny's place, Matthew.
What happened to
the old folks over there?
I don't know.
Lock her up, will you, Festus?
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
(hoofbeats approaching)
(pots clang)
It's just like Cheeno
had it figured, Boley.
What about Willa?
Marshal locked her up.
We'll give 'em
another half hour.
Let's make sure they're
on their way out of town.
Cheeno, leave her be.
Let's hit the bank and
pull out. She's dead weight.
Big brother, you never did
go for the better things in life.
Not her kind, no denying.
Now, don't you
worry none, Boley,
'cause when the time
is right, I'll leave her be.
He means when he
finds the next one, Boley.
(Cheeno laughing)
What's the matter, Matt?
Either of you seen Burl?
We thought he was
up here with you.
Sam, you take the rest of
the boys on to Merk Danny's.
- Yes, sir.
- Festus, you and Thad come with me.
♪♪
♪♪
(keys jingling)
Burl...
You rotten, lying, little tramp.
No! You'll hurt me.
- They're coming here tonight, aren't they?
- No.
- Just the way they did in Colton.
- No!
You set me up once before,
and you thought you
were going to do it again.
- You're wrong.
- Am I, Willa?
If you think that, why
didn't you bring the marshal?
(Willa grunts)
Because they're
mine, that's why.
They're mine to kill.
I don't need Matt Dillon
or anybody else to help me.
I got three of them
already, and I'll get the rest.
Then it'll be your turn.
No. No, Burl, stop.
Six months... six
months of hating so hard,
it like to ate out my guts.
Well, I saved
your life in Colton.
And you let my town die.
Well, I couldn't stop them.
You could have told me
what was going to happen.
Well, there were seven of
them. What would you have done?
My job... that's what
I would have done.
Well, you'll just get your
chance soon enough.
Then I was right.
They are coming back here.
Yeah, yeah, they're coming.
Only this time, there
are four of them.
But there's Cheeno, and
he's worth a dozen men
and worth a dozen of you.
You won't even have a prayer.
Burl, he was a friend
of the marshal's.
(Willa yells)
♪♪
♪♪
Well...
let's go burn us a town.
♪♪
- (Willa groans)
- All right. Easy.
- Are you hurt?
- I'm fine.
What happened here?
Burl... he came
in like a madman.
He... And he killed that man.
I thought he was
going to kill me.
Where is he now?
WILLA: Oh, I don't know.
He hit me... That's
all I remember.
DILLON: What about
the Apache brothers?
- They're coming.
- When?
I don't know. They said
they were going to give you
and the posse time enough
to get far enough away.
They should be
here any time now.
Thanks.
Thad, you better stay with her.
They may try to
double back here.
Come on, Festus.
FESTUS: Where in the tarnation
do we start looking
for him, Matthew?
Well, they'll
probably hit the bank.
At least that's what I'm
counting on Burl thinking.
(crickets chirping)
(quiet footsteps)
He's got to be around
here somewhere.
Yeah.
Festus, you go take
cover over there.
Matthew, you
better watch it, now,
'cause he's liable to
take a potshot at you.
Yeah, well, that's a
chance I'll have to take.
♪♪
Burl, it's Matt Dillon.
Matt?
Burl, put that gun down.
I can't do it, Matt.
The Apache brothers are coming.
You killed Charlie Briggs.
It was an accident.
Put the gun away and
come down out of there.
Get off the street.
I'll come down after I get
Cheeno and the others.
You come down now.
Don't do it.
Don't make me hurt you.
Now, get off the street.
I'm going to tell you once more.
Put the gun away and come
down, or I'm coming up after you.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Well, like the man says,
easy as custard pudding.
Which do we take
first... Willa or the bank?
Oh, money will get
me another Willa.
If there's no trouble,
we'll pick her up
on the way out of town.
When I checked it out,
the safe looked to
be real easy to blow.
Yes, sir.
Easy as custard pudding.
He's up there, Matthew.
(hoofbeats in distance)
Reckon that could be them?
We'll know before long.
We will be glad to have
Masters' gun helping us out.
(horse neighs)
(gunfire continues)
(gunfire continues)
Don't shoot.
Burl.
Put that gun down.
He's the last one, Matthew.
You can't shoot an
unarmed man down like that.
That's Cheeno. He's the leader.
He's the one that
burned my town.
I'm going to kill him.
You'll have to shoot me first.
Did I get him?
Yeah, you got him.
Well, let some
folks hear about it.
They'll hear.
It had to be, Matt.
I-I had to do it.
Yeah.
Matt, Matt...
I'm sorry about that
man I killed in the jail.
Matt...
whatever happened
to those spurs of yours?
♪♪
The last few weeks, my
mouth's just been a-waterin'
for a mess of
fresh-caught pan-fryers.
Ain't no earthly
reason in the world
why you can't go
with me, Matthew.
It would do you good.
Festus, there's one good reason.
If we both go fishing
at the same time,
who's going to look
after the office here?
Oh, well, nothing's
going to happen
in the next three hours or so.
If you're so anxious
to go fishing,
why don't you take Doc with you?
Now, wait a minute.
Well, I would except
for one reason.
What's that?
Well, I always catch
more fish than he does,
and he gets mad and...
That's a bold-faced
lie right there.
It ain't neither.
Then you're always hoo-rahing
me about my willer pole.
Saying, "Oh, my fishing
outfit's good. It's..."
Mine is better than yours.
Well, it ain't neither.
How come I always catch
more fish than you do?
- THAD: Howdy, Festus.
- FESTUS: Thad.
- DILLON: Hi, Thad.
- THAD: Matt.
Well, did you get Willa
Prayther up to Hays all right?
Yeah. Sheriff signed
the release forms.
Oh, thanks.
DOC: You look
kind of tired, Thad.
Well, I am. I've been in
the saddle since sunup.
FESTUS: Thad, how about
you and me going fishing?
I'd like to, Festus.
Right now, I'm just too tired.
Besides, I've had enough fish
to last me for quite a few days.
When?
Oh, I stopped off on the
way back from Hays City.
You mean you went fishing?
Well, I told you I might.
You didn't neither.
You said, if I was to
go with you to Hays City,
that you might go fishing.
Well?
Well, I didn't go with you.
Festus, I'm too tired to
try and figure that one out.
Here, have some coffee.
I'm going to bed.
I don't want it. I
done had all the coff...
(door closes)
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned for
scenes from next week's Gunsmoke.