Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 12, Episode 17 - Mad Dog - full transcript
(dramatic theme music playing)
(both guns fire)
ANNOUNCER: starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
♪♪
I could've swore I
smelled me some coffee.
FESTUS: Howdy!
Anybody here?
♪♪
A man with a outfit like this
could have a
parade all by hisself.
(man groaning)
Looks like you caught
yourself a good one there, fella.
There's no denying it's good
enough to send me straight.
Who shot you?
Me.
I managed to...
to do what 17 men couldn't do.
Kill myself. (coughs)
How did this happen?
Fool gun slipped out of my hand.
Hammer hit a rock.
Fool way to die.
Maybe I can get you
into Bucklin to a doctor.
Where's your horse at?
Spooked.
When the gun went off.
Ought to be something
I can do for you.
Yeah.
Bury me.
Deep.
I ain't never left no
man to buzzards yet.
I'll show you my thanks.
See that rig over there?
Saddle and... and trappings...
They're yours.
You ride into
Bucklin on that rig...
and the folks...
the folks will sit up
and take real notice.
(theme music playing)
(laughter, clamoring)
KITTY: Well, look who's here.
DOC: Oh, good morning.
- THAD: Matt, how are you?
- DOC: Matt.
KITTY: Good to have you back.
THAD: How are you, Matt?
Ah, good to be
here, I'll tell you.
- Have a chair.
- Oh, thanks, Thad.
- How about some coffee?
- Hey, that sounds fine.
How are things in Wichita, Matt?
Well, they haven't
changed a bit, Doc.
How about things here, Thad?
Pretty good, except for that.
Yeah, what is that?
Interesting you
should ask about that.
Not very original,
but interesting.
Everybody who comes in
here asks the same thing.
- They do?
- Yeah.
Well, does anybody
ever get an answer?
Oh, yes, yes, the answer is
that's one of Festus'
money-making schemes.
How do you make money
with something like that?
Well, if you're a Haggen,
you bet that you can
stack two decks of cards
into a four-story house
without ever knocking the
house down, not even once.
And then you work up the odds
with a severe
case of the hiccups.
(laughs)
Well, that sounds
like Festus, all right.
How come he gave up?
He didn't. Oh, no.
He was called away.
To Bucklin.
- DOC: Mmm.
- Bucklin?
Yeah, see, a cousin of his...
Name of Maude Haggen...
Got in jail because
of doing in somebody
whose name was, uh, uh...
- Rover Watson.
- Rover Watson.
Well, that sounds
kind of serious.
Oh, no, no. Not
according to Festus.
You see, the way
the Haggens look at it,
killing a Watson is
liable to get you a medal
instead of a hanging.
Oh, he knew these
Watsons, did he?
No, no, wouldn't know one
if they stuck their fingernail
in his eyeball, he said.
He just knows about 'em.
Mainly that they're,
uh, "as rotten to the core
as an apple with
a worm for a stem."
That's funny, I thought I
knew most of Festus' relatives,
but I never heard of
this, uh, Maude before.
Well, he was a
new one on us, too.
Huh?
Man.
You mean this... this
Cousin Maude is a man?
Not only a man, but
he seems to be a man
who's not above taking a
shotgun to bad manners.
Must be named after his mother.
Nope. Uncle. (laughs)
No, step-uncle.
- That's right.
- DILLON: No.
Yeah, his father's side.
Festus told you
all this, did he?
- Right.
- In one sentence, I suppose?
- Right again.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, things haven't
changed in Wichita.
I can see they haven't
changed here, either.
(laughs)
Kitty, I need a drink.
(laughter)
♪♪
You boys heard
what the mayor said.
Said for y'all to
clear out of town.
The Watsons don't take
orders from no mayor.
Especially one that
yells out his threats
from behind a
locked jailhouse door.
Well, the mayor
ain't a bad sort.
It wasn't his fault.
The sheriff left town.
So, what you Watson
boys gonna do?
First, we aim to
put away a little bit
of this drinkin' whiskey.
Then we're gonna build ourselves
a size 16-and-a-half noose.
Then we go and take care
of Maude Haggen ourselves.
Ain't you all heard?
Heard what?
We just rid in from camp.
Maude Haggen
escaped jail last night.
That mayor let him escape!
He never did act like he thought
Haggen was
guilty... Did he, Buff?
No, nobody kills our
daddy and gets away with it.
We'll just hang that mayor.
Wait a minute.
Now, don't y'all go
storming that jail.
You'll grow some holes.
There's a telegraph operator
in here last night got drunk,
said the mayor wired
Cimarron yesterday morning
and hired Jim Travers
to come down here
and clean you boys out of town.
Who's Jim Travers?
A gunfighter from Cheyenne.
He's killed a lot of
folks up around there.
I ain't never even heard of him.
Well, I doubt if he'd keep
a name you recognize.
Know what he looks like?
Oh, there was a big
fat fella in here last night
shooting off his mouth...
He said that he knewed him.
Said he's around 35 to 40
and he had a great,
big, black Mexican saddle
with a lot of silver on it.
♪♪
A stranger just rode in!
Ain't much doubt about
it... Is there, Roan?
Not much, Pinto.
Black saddle, right on schedule.
What do you think, Buff?
You don't see many
gunfighters riding a mule.
Well, if he's looking for us,
we might as well get at it.
That's right, we wouldn't
want to be hard to find.
We gonna goad him into a fight?
Gunfighter ain't usually
very hard to goad.
Let's go.
We was just
admiring that saddle.
Can't say I blame you.
I'm kind of smote
with it myself.
I can't help wondering
where a man might come
across a saddle like that.
Now, that's a funny
thing you'd ask that.
Just last night,
I run across it...
There's only three ways to
get a saddle that I know of.
You buy it.
Somebody gives it to you.
Or you steal it.
And we've got a 365-day
open season on saddle
thieves around here.
Now, get to the ground.
Just supposing you all
drop your gun belts real easy.
That's it.
Now, why don't you all just
amble on down the street yonder
and next time I'd be
a little more careful
about who I call a saddle thief.
♪♪
Everyplace you go,
there's a smart aleck.
He's stopping at the jail.
Now, that don't leave too
much doubt... does it, Pinto?
What kind of gunman is
that, using a dirty trick?
The kind that stays
alive a long time.
We'd better get
our guns out of there
before they get waterlogged.
We best wait till
he goes inside.
We was lucky once.
That's right.
He ain't like to give
us a second chance.
How do you reckon
to handle it, Pinto?
Let him have his
talk with the mayor.
Then, when he comes
out, I'll face him down.
You gonna challenge
him outright, Pinto?
I'll do whatever needs
doing to get him to draw.
And when he does?
Bang.
What do you want?
I want to jaw over
a problem with you.
Oh, thank the Lord.
I'd know that saddle
from the description.
- Get in here!
- Quit that!
- What about that saddle?
- (sighs)
Joe Riley told me
what to look for.
Joe Riley?
I don't know no
Joe Riley, Sheriff.
I'm not the sheriff.
He took off three days ago.
Garden City offered him $50
a month more than we could.
And a sight less trouble.
And with trouble,
your name comes up.
It does?
Sure.
Maybe you'd ought
to start at the top
and tell me about this.
Well, the Watson boys
turned up here about
a month or so back.
Raw-hidin' and prairie-wolfin'.
Some say a little rustling.
They had a couple of
run-ins with Maude Haggen.
A few days ago, the
Watson boys came in
to swear out a murder
warrant on Maude.
Said he killed their father.
Get him with a shotgun, did he?
No, no, Maude didn't shoot him.
Well, how did he do it, then?
The Watson boys ran
across Haggen up at Wetdraw.
He'd found a sheep-dip tank,
and had it full of
ferment and potato water.
(Festus chuckles)
The Watson boys
got a case of it,
and Daddy Watson
drank it and died.
Well, now, wouldn't that be more
of a manslaughtering
case than a murder?
Not even that.
Uh, seems the Watson
boys failed to pay
for the whiskey.
Well, what do they
want now, then?
They want to give
Maude $12 and shoot him.
And that's why you got
old Maude hid out, huh?
I did have.
He escaped last night.
Left quite a knot on my head.
(laughs)
Well, if old Maude's gone
and you ain't looking for him,
I'll just go on home.
I didn't hire you
to protect Haggen!
I hired you to protect me.
To get the Watson
boys out of town.
You ain't hired
me to do nothing.
Three men, $100 a head.
That was your price.
Well, wait a minute here.
I-I get the feeling you
think I'm somebody I ain't.
All right.
Who are you?
Festus Haggen.
Mr. Travers, I don't care if
you call yourself "Gertrude."
The choice of a name
is a gunfighter's privilege.
Just get rid of the Watson boys,
and you've earned yourself $300.
What do we do?
Nothing, except wait
for our chance to nail him.
He'll be back to earn the
money the mayor's paying him.
What's doing?
Well, where you going?
Do a little waiting
over some whiskey.
That sure is a passel
of money, all right.
I ain't Travers.
Then tell me something.
Where did you get that saddle?
From a feller I
buried out on the trail.
What'd he die from?
Gunshot in the belly.
And I guess he shot himself?
Fact is that's
just what he done.
(laughs)
Joe Riley said you
liked your funnin'.
And it is sort of funny at that.
Well, if old Maude's gone,
I'll just mosey on
back to Dodge City.
The three Watson
boys are out there.
Three?
One of them kind
of a burly feller?
The other two kind of scrawny?
All three of them
tick-bit yahoos?
You met them.
They give me trouble
when I rode into town.
They'll shoot you for sure!
Well, I'm gonna tell you
something, Mr. Mayor.
Even them Watson boys
wouldn't shoot an unarmed man.
And that's just
what I'm going to be
when I walk out
of here... Unarmed.
Because I'm fixing to put
this pistol in my saddlebag.
But what about me, Mr. Travers?
My name is Festus Haggen.
And I'm fixing to
ride out of town.
And if I get shot
a-ridin' out of town,
that better be the name
that's on my headstone,
or I'm coming back to haunt you.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Now, I don't know
whether I'd ought to go
soak in a creek for a spell
or run for public office.
I either smell like a goat
or I got enough enemies
to start politickin'.
That ain't it at all,
no, sir, that ain't it all.
It's just, just these people
don't want to get shot up
around here in town, and I
don't want to get shot, neither.
Now, you can have
all you want to drink.
It's all free if you just
drink it across the
street, Mr. Travers.
My name ain't Travers.
I buried him on
the trail last night.
What's your name, mister?
Festus Haggen.
Festus?
Maude Haggen's brother?
Cousin.
Well, he comes in here
every Saturday night,
old Maude does, and
almost wrecks this place.
When are you gonna get
her fixed back up again?
(laughs) That's a good one.
Seeing you tangle
with the Watson boys...
I sure would like
to sell tickets to that.
Then you'd just have to
give their money all back,
'cause there ain't
gonna be no fight!
♪♪
♪♪
I tell you, we'd have
had him for sure.
We'll still get him.
Well, what's the
matter with you?
- What happened out there?
- Nothing happened.
Well, I thought y'all
were gonna have at it.
I never thought y'all would
let him get away like that.
Huh, like you'd
have went after him!
Jim Travers ain't the kind
of man you go straight up to.
You got to sort of sidle up to
him on the downwind side and...
His name ain't Jim Travers.
What you talking?
His name is Festus Haggen.
What?
Cousin to Maude Haggen,
the one that killed you boys' pa.
How do you know that?
He told me so.
- Well, where you going?
- Well, where do you think?
Now, just hold
on a minute, Pinto.
Hold on for what?
How do you reckon he
come by Travers's saddle?
He told me he buried
Travers last night on the trail.
There, now, you see?
Any man feisty
enough to kill Travers
ain't no man for
us to try and take.
Well, if Festus Haggen is
anything like his cousin...
And all Haggens is alike...
He must've bushwhacked Travers.
Well, we can do the same thing.
A Haggen working for the mayor.
Appears to me like
we're gonna get ourselves
a eye for an eye
and a tooth for a tooth
all at the same time.
Let's go.
(toad croaking)
Well, will you looky here?
Howdy there, little
feller. (chuckles)
(croaking)
♪ Toady's in the pantry ♪
♪ What are you gonna do? ♪
♪ Toady in the pantry,
what are you gonna do? ♪
♪ Toady in the pan... ♪
(gunshot)
Hey.
Come on!
Well, that's about
the fanciest saddle
I ever got that easy.
It ain't fair.
We didn't get a chance to shoot.
We weren't in pistol range,
and you two ain't got no rifle.
How about that?
Us killing Festus Haggen...
The man that killed Jim Travers!
Huh? Huh?
I don't know, sounds
kind of roundabouty.
Ain't nobody ever
heard of this Haggen.
Hey, I bet he ain't
no Haggen at all.
I bet that's really Jim Travers.
ROAN: Right here they
are... The Watson boys!
The ones that
killed Jim Travers!
Now, how about that... huh, huh?
That sounds better, yeah.
If Daddy was here,
he'd be so proud,
he'd go out and get
cross-eyed drunker
than a goat eating China bears!
Let's go!
Hyah! Come on!
- Hyah!
- Ha!
♪♪
Mister?
Are you all right, mister?
Hey, mister.
- (toad croaking)
- (dog whimpering)
Jojo, you stay here.
Don't let him get away.
I'm gonna go get Mom.
(groaning softly)
(Jojo growling)
Poor old flea-bit scamp,
you look as raunchy as I do.
(barking)
Just be easy, boy.
Back off.
(Jojo snarling)
♪♪
You, uh... you say he
was frothing at the mouth?
Yes, sir.
You do have something
to worry about.
You know, old Doc
Adams over in Dodge City,
he's telling me there's
some foreign pill pusher
that's got a cure for that.
Said that there's some
doctor in Kansas City
knowed how to
use it... Is that true?
I know Doc Adams.
He was talking
about Louis Pasteur.
He's discovered a treatment.
And if you're bitten
in the arm or the leg
and are treated within
three or four days,
there's a 75%
chance of recovery.
Well, it's at least a week to
get to Kansas City, ain't it?
Yeah, it would.
What's my odds, Doc?
Do you want to know the truth?
Truth.
Practically nonexistent.
How much time have I got left?
Well... ten days.
Two weeks, at the outside.
That hydrophobia, it's...
a pretty sorry way
to die, ain't it, Doc?
You know, a feller gets
shot, well, he'll just fall flat
on his face and... Oh, he
might kick a couple of times...
That's what makes
the crowds turn out...
But what I mean is he won't
go just a-snatchin' off his clothes
and a-sashayin'
around, tryin' to bite folks.
Well, the-the symptoms
aren't always that extreme.
They would be with me.
Everything I do's extreme.
Why, I'd probably be the
wildest hydrophobic case
west of the Mississippi
and north of the Rio Grande.
Folks wouldn't even
remember my fine points.
If you became that violent,
you could be confined.
Not on your old tintype.
They ain't gonna hog-tie me
like some spindly
little old calf
a-waitin' to get
his behind burned
with a brandin' iron. No, sir.
Now, if you want to spend your
last few days with your friends,
I'll be glad to ride to
Dodge City with you.
No. No, I...
It's the worst to act a
fool in front of your friends
than it is in front
of strangers.
No, sir. Not me.
What do you intend to do?
Well, I don't reckon I know.
I... always kind
of figured I'd die
getting shot or getting hung.
But hanging's out now,
'cause I'd die before
they could get me hung.
As far as getting shot, well...
Let's you and me
go see that mayor.
Alive?
The Watson boys are
over at the American Saloon
celebrating your death.
Shootin' ain't killin'.
That $100-a-head offer you had
to get them fellers
out of the territory,
- that still open?
- Wide open.
You mad enough
to go get 'em now?
Just give the money
to Doc Rand here.
He-he knows what
to do with my part of it.
Whatever there is left
over, he'll give you back.
Well, now, Mr. Travers...
That ain't the name I told
you to put on my headstone.
Mr., uh...
uh, Haggen,
I wish you all the
luck in the world.
My luck just run out
about a hour ago.
Mr. Haggen was
bitten by a mad dog.
He's going to die.
Oh, that's a shame.
Mad dog? Hereabouts?
We best get folks
looking for him.
The dog was foaming at the
mouth at the time he bit Mr. Haggen.
His condition was
probably terminal.
Are you sure?
Well, we can check after...
MAYOR: After what?
After I get over
yonder at that saloon
and set up a shoot-out
with them Watson boys.
Give me a pistol.
You better be careful.
Why don't you
shoot 'em right there?
Because...
I'm afraid I just
might accidental do it.
That don't make sense.
A bullet, my friend,
is quicker than rabies.
(laughter)
Well, well, there's
old Jim Travers
out by the watering trough
of that burned-out
Spears Ranch site
when we come up on him.
Well, we knowed who he was,
and we just simple-like
said, "Travers!"
Well, he jumped about
six foot, pulled out his gun,
winged a couple at us,
and we dropped him!
(laughter)
(clattering)
Well, he got hisself
back up again.
Turn around and put
your hands on the bar!
First man that goes for
that door gets hisself shot.
'Cause I want you all to
hear what's fixin' to be said.
He jumped about
six feet, did he?
After you hit him in
the head with a rifle ball.
"All we done was
simple-like say, 'Travers.'
"He winged a
couple of shots at us,
and... we killed him."
Now, I may have
came here to get you.
I may have came here
to get somebody else.
But right now I want you.
And this here's just
because you're a young'un
and you're stupid.
And this here's just because
you stole my mule Ruth
and my saddle.
And you...
you bushwhacked me.
Shot me in the
head with a rifle ball.
I want to tell you this.
You've been a-choosin'
me for the last hour or so,
and I'm here to tell you
I'm choosin' you back.
What time does that clock say?
3:30.
All right.
3:30.
At 4:00, I want all you yahoos
to be out yonder in the street.
Be sure and wear your pistols,
'cause I'm fixin' to kill you.
All three of you.
As quick as you wake up.
All right, now, you,
you, you, you, you,
get 'em out yonder.
Sober 'em up.
Get 'em fixed to fight.
Hurry it up, or you'll be next.
Hurry up. Move 'em on out.
Look at that dang
sunshine out yonder.
When a feller dies,
it ought to be rainin'.
I always wanted mine to
come on a bright spring morning.
You know what the
worst part is, Doc?
What would that be?
It's just finally realizin'
that I ain't got time to see
the other side of
every hill in the world.
Most men realize that
when they're about 30.
How much time
is there left, Doc?
RAND: About nine minutes.
When it comes to dyin',
I reckon everybody
feels about the same way.
What would that be?
They'd just rather
do it tomorrow.
Mad dog!
That there's the
dog that bit me!
I got to shoot him before
he bites somebody else!
Don't shoot. If that dog
was foaming when he bit you,
- he'd be dead by now.
- Well, he was, and he ain't.
Now, just relax.
Here, sit down here.
Take it easy. I'll
take full responsibility.
Now, you be careful, Doc.
- Watch him.
- Tom John.
Tom John Spears,
come in here a minute.
Mom don't allow me
to go into saloons.
She says Pa spends enough
time in here for the whole family.
Well, if she says anything,
you have her talk to me.
Come on.
(gasps)
Boy, get away from that
dog! He's got the rabies!
Don't shoot my dog!
You're the man we tried to
help at the watering trough!
Don't kill Jojo!
I didn't see you out
yonder, but I seen him,
and he was a-frothin' at the
mouth. Now get away from him!
He just must've found a toad.
He picks 'em up, and they
make him foam for a while.
Well, what for did
he bite me, then?
'Cause the foamin'
makes him real cranky.
RAND: Now, was
there really a toad frog
at the watering trough?
'Cause if there wasn't,
this dog could be dangerous.
There was a toad
out there all right, Doc.
I seen him myself.
They bite down on 'em,
and the frog has a
toxic sack in its back.
It must taste very bad to a dog.
And they froth at the mouth
to get the taste out of there.
Well, you mean he-he
ain't got the hydrophobi'?
"Hydrophobia"
means "fear of water."
Watch this.
(Rand sighs)
Tom John, why don't you
and Jojo go buy yourselves
a stick of candy.
Thanks, Doc!
(Rand chuckles)
You mean I ain't gonna
die with the rabies?
No, you're not.
Well, golly Bill, Doc,
maybe I'll get a few more
of them hills clumb yet.
I'm that grateful, I'd buy
drinks for the whole pla...
Uh, wait till Matthew and Miss
Kitty and old Doc Adams hear
that I ain't gonna
die with rabies,
and I'm gonna die in
about three minutes of, uh,
gettin' shot...
by the Watson boys.
Well, if that don't peel
the skin off of a snake.
Mr. Haggen, maybe
you could talk to them.
(scoffs) Yeah.
Maybe it won't snow in December.
Barkeep, you got a back
door to this here place?
No, sir, there ain't. I
have enough trouble
watchin' non-payers
waltzing out the front.
Doc,
do me something, will you?
Sure, sure. Anything.
Now, I'll probably get
me one of them Watsons,
maybe even two, but...
you just make sure
they don't bury me close
to 'em up on
Boot Hill, will you?
I'll do that, now. I'll do it.
You know, I always
kind of figured
I'd make my dying count for
more than the likes of them.
Mr. Haggen...
Well, you know
yourself, ain't a one of 'em
that's worth the sweat
it takes to bury 'em.
Oh, I know that. I know
that. I-I've got an idea.
About what?
About a way that might
get you out of this thing.
Now, supposin'...
(ticking)
It's 4:00, sir.
Well, time has came.
Ain't no way to get her did
except to go out and do her.
You got no choice.
Keep a eye peeled
on that, will you?
Right.
(coughs)
♪♪
♪♪
You, mean man,
where's your gun?
I ain't got one.
We have, and
you'd better get one.
Don't believe I will.
I been a-studying about that.
One gun might get one
man, maybe even two.
But when it comes to
three, I got my doubtfuls.
And I just decided to whup
you all with my bare knuckles.
(chuckles) All three of us?
All three of you.
We shoot an unarmed man,
and we get hung.
By who?
Marshal Matthew Dillon,
a friend of mine in Dodge City.
Well,
we'd as soon to kick
you to death as shoot you.
Now we're unarmed.
You shoot us, you're in trouble.
Now, wait. Wait just
one minute, fellers.
I been wantin' to get a
chance to jaw with you fellers,
'cause I just can't see
no reason in the world
why we can't figure this out
in a fair way of
having this ruckus.
Well, I don't think that...
♪♪
(grunting)
(grunting)
(grunting)
(punching, grunting)
(grunting)
Get him. Hit him.
(shouts)
Now! Now!
Stop it! Stop it!
You're killin' him!
What do you mean, Doc?
You shouldn't be
fightin' this man.
- Well, he started it.
- I don't care who started it.
He has rabies, hydrophobia.
Stinkin' way to die.
Well, let's put him
out of his misery.
And who'll put you
out of your misery?
What do you mean?
Did he bite you?
He did, but I bit him back.
Well, that isn't the same.
Being bit by him is like
being bit by a rabid coyote.
Well, uh...
How 'bout you?
He dang near took my ear off!
- And you?
- He didn't bite me.
But you opened your knuckles
on his teeth, didn't you?
(gasping)
You mean us fighting
this fella's got us infected?
Well, I don't know for sure, but
you've sure been exposed to it.
- (gasps)
- You got to help us, Doc.
There's a way to make it well?
Now, you took a oath!
Now, you got to help us!
All right. I'll help you
the best way I know how.
As far as I know, a man that's
bitten by a rabid creature dies.
Now, there's a man in France
that claims to have a cure,
and there's a
doctor in Kansas City
that has access to the serum.
Can we get there in time?
Well, there's a chance, but
you'd have to leave right now.
Well, come on!
Let's get him up.
You think he might bite me?
Come on.
Easy.
♪♪
Pay him off, Doc.
The order was to get the
Watson boys out of town,
and Mr. Travers did it.
My name is Haggen,
Festus Haggen.
The man who killed Jim Travers.
Jim Travers killed hisself.
Anything you say, Mr. Travers.
How would you like
for me to bite you?
Uh, Mr. Haggen,
I think this is yours.
Much obliged, Doc.
Now, you wouldn't
probably think it to look at me,
but this here's
the mostest money
I've ever had at one time
in my entire born put together.
(crickets chirping)
When'd Festus get back?
I don't know.
He just came in and
bought a round for the house
and called for a new deck.
- He bought what?
- That's right.
Yeah, I wouldn't have believed
it, either, if I hadn't seen it.
Had an envelope
stuffed full of bills.
Festus.
Matthew,
got a pot of glue
on you someplace?
What happened to
you up at Bucklin?
Oh, I got shot and
stomped by some fellers
and bit by a hydrophobi' dog.
Well, it... well, actual
wasn't hydrophobi'...
Just kind of cranky is all.
Where'd you get all that money?
The town give it to me for
getting rid of some riffraff...
Watson boys.
The Watson boys?
Well, what about
your-your cousin Maude?
Oh. He escaped
'fore I even got there.
They ain't even lookin' for him.
They didn't have a tight
grip on him, so he got away.
You know something, Matthew?
That town give me
$300 for six hours' work.
When I think of the hours
that I've just broke my back
a-workin' for 15 cents...
Festus, who shot you?
Watson boys.
What for?
Oh, 'cause of a
big, black, leather
and silver Mexican saddle.
What's that got to do with it?
A... gunfighter named
Travers give it to me.
Travers? You mean Jim Travers?
He accidental shot hisself,
and I promised to bury him,
so he give me his saddle.
I just saw Ruthie
standing out in front here
wearing your old saddle.
Well, I... I just figured,
why build a whole new
batch of saddle sores?
That fancy saddle give
me so much trouble,
on the way home, I
just stopped and buried it
right by Travers
and took my old one.
You know, I got a feeling
he knowed all along
how much trouble
he was a-givin' me.
Festus, why don't you put
those cards down for once.
I think you and I ought
to have a little talk.
There she is! Four stories high!
- Pay up! Pay up, everybody!
- (indistinct chatter)
Come on. Pay her up.
(indistinct chatter)
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned for
scenes from next week's Gunsmoke.
(both guns fire)
ANNOUNCER: starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.
♪♪
I could've swore I
smelled me some coffee.
FESTUS: Howdy!
Anybody here?
♪♪
A man with a outfit like this
could have a
parade all by hisself.
(man groaning)
Looks like you caught
yourself a good one there, fella.
There's no denying it's good
enough to send me straight.
Who shot you?
Me.
I managed to...
to do what 17 men couldn't do.
Kill myself. (coughs)
How did this happen?
Fool gun slipped out of my hand.
Hammer hit a rock.
Fool way to die.
Maybe I can get you
into Bucklin to a doctor.
Where's your horse at?
Spooked.
When the gun went off.
Ought to be something
I can do for you.
Yeah.
Bury me.
Deep.
I ain't never left no
man to buzzards yet.
I'll show you my thanks.
See that rig over there?
Saddle and... and trappings...
They're yours.
You ride into
Bucklin on that rig...
and the folks...
the folks will sit up
and take real notice.
(theme music playing)
(laughter, clamoring)
KITTY: Well, look who's here.
DOC: Oh, good morning.
- THAD: Matt, how are you?
- DOC: Matt.
KITTY: Good to have you back.
THAD: How are you, Matt?
Ah, good to be
here, I'll tell you.
- Have a chair.
- Oh, thanks, Thad.
- How about some coffee?
- Hey, that sounds fine.
How are things in Wichita, Matt?
Well, they haven't
changed a bit, Doc.
How about things here, Thad?
Pretty good, except for that.
Yeah, what is that?
Interesting you
should ask about that.
Not very original,
but interesting.
Everybody who comes in
here asks the same thing.
- They do?
- Yeah.
Well, does anybody
ever get an answer?
Oh, yes, yes, the answer is
that's one of Festus'
money-making schemes.
How do you make money
with something like that?
Well, if you're a Haggen,
you bet that you can
stack two decks of cards
into a four-story house
without ever knocking the
house down, not even once.
And then you work up the odds
with a severe
case of the hiccups.
(laughs)
Well, that sounds
like Festus, all right.
How come he gave up?
He didn't. Oh, no.
He was called away.
To Bucklin.
- DOC: Mmm.
- Bucklin?
Yeah, see, a cousin of his...
Name of Maude Haggen...
Got in jail because
of doing in somebody
whose name was, uh, uh...
- Rover Watson.
- Rover Watson.
Well, that sounds
kind of serious.
Oh, no, no. Not
according to Festus.
You see, the way
the Haggens look at it,
killing a Watson is
liable to get you a medal
instead of a hanging.
Oh, he knew these
Watsons, did he?
No, no, wouldn't know one
if they stuck their fingernail
in his eyeball, he said.
He just knows about 'em.
Mainly that they're,
uh, "as rotten to the core
as an apple with
a worm for a stem."
That's funny, I thought I
knew most of Festus' relatives,
but I never heard of
this, uh, Maude before.
Well, he was a
new one on us, too.
Huh?
Man.
You mean this... this
Cousin Maude is a man?
Not only a man, but
he seems to be a man
who's not above taking a
shotgun to bad manners.
Must be named after his mother.
Nope. Uncle. (laughs)
No, step-uncle.
- That's right.
- DILLON: No.
Yeah, his father's side.
Festus told you
all this, did he?
- Right.
- In one sentence, I suppose?
- Right again.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, things haven't
changed in Wichita.
I can see they haven't
changed here, either.
(laughs)
Kitty, I need a drink.
(laughter)
♪♪
You boys heard
what the mayor said.
Said for y'all to
clear out of town.
The Watsons don't take
orders from no mayor.
Especially one that
yells out his threats
from behind a
locked jailhouse door.
Well, the mayor
ain't a bad sort.
It wasn't his fault.
The sheriff left town.
So, what you Watson
boys gonna do?
First, we aim to
put away a little bit
of this drinkin' whiskey.
Then we're gonna build ourselves
a size 16-and-a-half noose.
Then we go and take care
of Maude Haggen ourselves.
Ain't you all heard?
Heard what?
We just rid in from camp.
Maude Haggen
escaped jail last night.
That mayor let him escape!
He never did act like he thought
Haggen was
guilty... Did he, Buff?
No, nobody kills our
daddy and gets away with it.
We'll just hang that mayor.
Wait a minute.
Now, don't y'all go
storming that jail.
You'll grow some holes.
There's a telegraph operator
in here last night got drunk,
said the mayor wired
Cimarron yesterday morning
and hired Jim Travers
to come down here
and clean you boys out of town.
Who's Jim Travers?
A gunfighter from Cheyenne.
He's killed a lot of
folks up around there.
I ain't never even heard of him.
Well, I doubt if he'd keep
a name you recognize.
Know what he looks like?
Oh, there was a big
fat fella in here last night
shooting off his mouth...
He said that he knewed him.
Said he's around 35 to 40
and he had a great,
big, black Mexican saddle
with a lot of silver on it.
♪♪
A stranger just rode in!
Ain't much doubt about
it... Is there, Roan?
Not much, Pinto.
Black saddle, right on schedule.
What do you think, Buff?
You don't see many
gunfighters riding a mule.
Well, if he's looking for us,
we might as well get at it.
That's right, we wouldn't
want to be hard to find.
We gonna goad him into a fight?
Gunfighter ain't usually
very hard to goad.
Let's go.
We was just
admiring that saddle.
Can't say I blame you.
I'm kind of smote
with it myself.
I can't help wondering
where a man might come
across a saddle like that.
Now, that's a funny
thing you'd ask that.
Just last night,
I run across it...
There's only three ways to
get a saddle that I know of.
You buy it.
Somebody gives it to you.
Or you steal it.
And we've got a 365-day
open season on saddle
thieves around here.
Now, get to the ground.
Just supposing you all
drop your gun belts real easy.
That's it.
Now, why don't you all just
amble on down the street yonder
and next time I'd be
a little more careful
about who I call a saddle thief.
♪♪
Everyplace you go,
there's a smart aleck.
He's stopping at the jail.
Now, that don't leave too
much doubt... does it, Pinto?
What kind of gunman is
that, using a dirty trick?
The kind that stays
alive a long time.
We'd better get
our guns out of there
before they get waterlogged.
We best wait till
he goes inside.
We was lucky once.
That's right.
He ain't like to give
us a second chance.
How do you reckon
to handle it, Pinto?
Let him have his
talk with the mayor.
Then, when he comes
out, I'll face him down.
You gonna challenge
him outright, Pinto?
I'll do whatever needs
doing to get him to draw.
And when he does?
Bang.
What do you want?
I want to jaw over
a problem with you.
Oh, thank the Lord.
I'd know that saddle
from the description.
- Get in here!
- Quit that!
- What about that saddle?
- (sighs)
Joe Riley told me
what to look for.
Joe Riley?
I don't know no
Joe Riley, Sheriff.
I'm not the sheriff.
He took off three days ago.
Garden City offered him $50
a month more than we could.
And a sight less trouble.
And with trouble,
your name comes up.
It does?
Sure.
Maybe you'd ought
to start at the top
and tell me about this.
Well, the Watson boys
turned up here about
a month or so back.
Raw-hidin' and prairie-wolfin'.
Some say a little rustling.
They had a couple of
run-ins with Maude Haggen.
A few days ago, the
Watson boys came in
to swear out a murder
warrant on Maude.
Said he killed their father.
Get him with a shotgun, did he?
No, no, Maude didn't shoot him.
Well, how did he do it, then?
The Watson boys ran
across Haggen up at Wetdraw.
He'd found a sheep-dip tank,
and had it full of
ferment and potato water.
(Festus chuckles)
The Watson boys
got a case of it,
and Daddy Watson
drank it and died.
Well, now, wouldn't that be more
of a manslaughtering
case than a murder?
Not even that.
Uh, seems the Watson
boys failed to pay
for the whiskey.
Well, what do they
want now, then?
They want to give
Maude $12 and shoot him.
And that's why you got
old Maude hid out, huh?
I did have.
He escaped last night.
Left quite a knot on my head.
(laughs)
Well, if old Maude's gone
and you ain't looking for him,
I'll just go on home.
I didn't hire you
to protect Haggen!
I hired you to protect me.
To get the Watson
boys out of town.
You ain't hired
me to do nothing.
Three men, $100 a head.
That was your price.
Well, wait a minute here.
I-I get the feeling you
think I'm somebody I ain't.
All right.
Who are you?
Festus Haggen.
Mr. Travers, I don't care if
you call yourself "Gertrude."
The choice of a name
is a gunfighter's privilege.
Just get rid of the Watson boys,
and you've earned yourself $300.
What do we do?
Nothing, except wait
for our chance to nail him.
He'll be back to earn the
money the mayor's paying him.
What's doing?
Well, where you going?
Do a little waiting
over some whiskey.
That sure is a passel
of money, all right.
I ain't Travers.
Then tell me something.
Where did you get that saddle?
From a feller I
buried out on the trail.
What'd he die from?
Gunshot in the belly.
And I guess he shot himself?
Fact is that's
just what he done.
(laughs)
Joe Riley said you
liked your funnin'.
And it is sort of funny at that.
Well, if old Maude's gone,
I'll just mosey on
back to Dodge City.
The three Watson
boys are out there.
Three?
One of them kind
of a burly feller?
The other two kind of scrawny?
All three of them
tick-bit yahoos?
You met them.
They give me trouble
when I rode into town.
They'll shoot you for sure!
Well, I'm gonna tell you
something, Mr. Mayor.
Even them Watson boys
wouldn't shoot an unarmed man.
And that's just
what I'm going to be
when I walk out
of here... Unarmed.
Because I'm fixing to put
this pistol in my saddlebag.
But what about me, Mr. Travers?
My name is Festus Haggen.
And I'm fixing to
ride out of town.
And if I get shot
a-ridin' out of town,
that better be the name
that's on my headstone,
or I'm coming back to haunt you.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Now, I don't know
whether I'd ought to go
soak in a creek for a spell
or run for public office.
I either smell like a goat
or I got enough enemies
to start politickin'.
That ain't it at all,
no, sir, that ain't it all.
It's just, just these people
don't want to get shot up
around here in town, and I
don't want to get shot, neither.
Now, you can have
all you want to drink.
It's all free if you just
drink it across the
street, Mr. Travers.
My name ain't Travers.
I buried him on
the trail last night.
What's your name, mister?
Festus Haggen.
Festus?
Maude Haggen's brother?
Cousin.
Well, he comes in here
every Saturday night,
old Maude does, and
almost wrecks this place.
When are you gonna get
her fixed back up again?
(laughs) That's a good one.
Seeing you tangle
with the Watson boys...
I sure would like
to sell tickets to that.
Then you'd just have to
give their money all back,
'cause there ain't
gonna be no fight!
♪♪
♪♪
I tell you, we'd have
had him for sure.
We'll still get him.
Well, what's the
matter with you?
- What happened out there?
- Nothing happened.
Well, I thought y'all
were gonna have at it.
I never thought y'all would
let him get away like that.
Huh, like you'd
have went after him!
Jim Travers ain't the kind
of man you go straight up to.
You got to sort of sidle up to
him on the downwind side and...
His name ain't Jim Travers.
What you talking?
His name is Festus Haggen.
What?
Cousin to Maude Haggen,
the one that killed you boys' pa.
How do you know that?
He told me so.
- Well, where you going?
- Well, where do you think?
Now, just hold
on a minute, Pinto.
Hold on for what?
How do you reckon he
come by Travers's saddle?
He told me he buried
Travers last night on the trail.
There, now, you see?
Any man feisty
enough to kill Travers
ain't no man for
us to try and take.
Well, if Festus Haggen is
anything like his cousin...
And all Haggens is alike...
He must've bushwhacked Travers.
Well, we can do the same thing.
A Haggen working for the mayor.
Appears to me like
we're gonna get ourselves
a eye for an eye
and a tooth for a tooth
all at the same time.
Let's go.
(toad croaking)
Well, will you looky here?
Howdy there, little
feller. (chuckles)
(croaking)
♪ Toady's in the pantry ♪
♪ What are you gonna do? ♪
♪ Toady in the pantry,
what are you gonna do? ♪
♪ Toady in the pan... ♪
(gunshot)
Hey.
Come on!
Well, that's about
the fanciest saddle
I ever got that easy.
It ain't fair.
We didn't get a chance to shoot.
We weren't in pistol range,
and you two ain't got no rifle.
How about that?
Us killing Festus Haggen...
The man that killed Jim Travers!
Huh? Huh?
I don't know, sounds
kind of roundabouty.
Ain't nobody ever
heard of this Haggen.
Hey, I bet he ain't
no Haggen at all.
I bet that's really Jim Travers.
ROAN: Right here they
are... The Watson boys!
The ones that
killed Jim Travers!
Now, how about that... huh, huh?
That sounds better, yeah.
If Daddy was here,
he'd be so proud,
he'd go out and get
cross-eyed drunker
than a goat eating China bears!
Let's go!
Hyah! Come on!
- Hyah!
- Ha!
♪♪
Mister?
Are you all right, mister?
Hey, mister.
- (toad croaking)
- (dog whimpering)
Jojo, you stay here.
Don't let him get away.
I'm gonna go get Mom.
(groaning softly)
(Jojo growling)
Poor old flea-bit scamp,
you look as raunchy as I do.
(barking)
Just be easy, boy.
Back off.
(Jojo snarling)
♪♪
You, uh... you say he
was frothing at the mouth?
Yes, sir.
You do have something
to worry about.
You know, old Doc
Adams over in Dodge City,
he's telling me there's
some foreign pill pusher
that's got a cure for that.
Said that there's some
doctor in Kansas City
knowed how to
use it... Is that true?
I know Doc Adams.
He was talking
about Louis Pasteur.
He's discovered a treatment.
And if you're bitten
in the arm or the leg
and are treated within
three or four days,
there's a 75%
chance of recovery.
Well, it's at least a week to
get to Kansas City, ain't it?
Yeah, it would.
What's my odds, Doc?
Do you want to know the truth?
Truth.
Practically nonexistent.
How much time have I got left?
Well... ten days.
Two weeks, at the outside.
That hydrophobia, it's...
a pretty sorry way
to die, ain't it, Doc?
You know, a feller gets
shot, well, he'll just fall flat
on his face and... Oh, he
might kick a couple of times...
That's what makes
the crowds turn out...
But what I mean is he won't
go just a-snatchin' off his clothes
and a-sashayin'
around, tryin' to bite folks.
Well, the-the symptoms
aren't always that extreme.
They would be with me.
Everything I do's extreme.
Why, I'd probably be the
wildest hydrophobic case
west of the Mississippi
and north of the Rio Grande.
Folks wouldn't even
remember my fine points.
If you became that violent,
you could be confined.
Not on your old tintype.
They ain't gonna hog-tie me
like some spindly
little old calf
a-waitin' to get
his behind burned
with a brandin' iron. No, sir.
Now, if you want to spend your
last few days with your friends,
I'll be glad to ride to
Dodge City with you.
No. No, I...
It's the worst to act a
fool in front of your friends
than it is in front
of strangers.
No, sir. Not me.
What do you intend to do?
Well, I don't reckon I know.
I... always kind
of figured I'd die
getting shot or getting hung.
But hanging's out now,
'cause I'd die before
they could get me hung.
As far as getting shot, well...
Let's you and me
go see that mayor.
Alive?
The Watson boys are
over at the American Saloon
celebrating your death.
Shootin' ain't killin'.
That $100-a-head offer you had
to get them fellers
out of the territory,
- that still open?
- Wide open.
You mad enough
to go get 'em now?
Just give the money
to Doc Rand here.
He-he knows what
to do with my part of it.
Whatever there is left
over, he'll give you back.
Well, now, Mr. Travers...
That ain't the name I told
you to put on my headstone.
Mr., uh...
uh, Haggen,
I wish you all the
luck in the world.
My luck just run out
about a hour ago.
Mr. Haggen was
bitten by a mad dog.
He's going to die.
Oh, that's a shame.
Mad dog? Hereabouts?
We best get folks
looking for him.
The dog was foaming at the
mouth at the time he bit Mr. Haggen.
His condition was
probably terminal.
Are you sure?
Well, we can check after...
MAYOR: After what?
After I get over
yonder at that saloon
and set up a shoot-out
with them Watson boys.
Give me a pistol.
You better be careful.
Why don't you
shoot 'em right there?
Because...
I'm afraid I just
might accidental do it.
That don't make sense.
A bullet, my friend,
is quicker than rabies.
(laughter)
Well, well, there's
old Jim Travers
out by the watering trough
of that burned-out
Spears Ranch site
when we come up on him.
Well, we knowed who he was,
and we just simple-like
said, "Travers!"
Well, he jumped about
six foot, pulled out his gun,
winged a couple at us,
and we dropped him!
(laughter)
(clattering)
Well, he got hisself
back up again.
Turn around and put
your hands on the bar!
First man that goes for
that door gets hisself shot.
'Cause I want you all to
hear what's fixin' to be said.
He jumped about
six feet, did he?
After you hit him in
the head with a rifle ball.
"All we done was
simple-like say, 'Travers.'
"He winged a
couple of shots at us,
and... we killed him."
Now, I may have
came here to get you.
I may have came here
to get somebody else.
But right now I want you.
And this here's just
because you're a young'un
and you're stupid.
And this here's just because
you stole my mule Ruth
and my saddle.
And you...
you bushwhacked me.
Shot me in the
head with a rifle ball.
I want to tell you this.
You've been a-choosin'
me for the last hour or so,
and I'm here to tell you
I'm choosin' you back.
What time does that clock say?
3:30.
All right.
3:30.
At 4:00, I want all you yahoos
to be out yonder in the street.
Be sure and wear your pistols,
'cause I'm fixin' to kill you.
All three of you.
As quick as you wake up.
All right, now, you,
you, you, you, you,
get 'em out yonder.
Sober 'em up.
Get 'em fixed to fight.
Hurry it up, or you'll be next.
Hurry up. Move 'em on out.
Look at that dang
sunshine out yonder.
When a feller dies,
it ought to be rainin'.
I always wanted mine to
come on a bright spring morning.
You know what the
worst part is, Doc?
What would that be?
It's just finally realizin'
that I ain't got time to see
the other side of
every hill in the world.
Most men realize that
when they're about 30.
How much time
is there left, Doc?
RAND: About nine minutes.
When it comes to dyin',
I reckon everybody
feels about the same way.
What would that be?
They'd just rather
do it tomorrow.
Mad dog!
That there's the
dog that bit me!
I got to shoot him before
he bites somebody else!
Don't shoot. If that dog
was foaming when he bit you,
- he'd be dead by now.
- Well, he was, and he ain't.
Now, just relax.
Here, sit down here.
Take it easy. I'll
take full responsibility.
Now, you be careful, Doc.
- Watch him.
- Tom John.
Tom John Spears,
come in here a minute.
Mom don't allow me
to go into saloons.
She says Pa spends enough
time in here for the whole family.
Well, if she says anything,
you have her talk to me.
Come on.
(gasps)
Boy, get away from that
dog! He's got the rabies!
Don't shoot my dog!
You're the man we tried to
help at the watering trough!
Don't kill Jojo!
I didn't see you out
yonder, but I seen him,
and he was a-frothin' at the
mouth. Now get away from him!
He just must've found a toad.
He picks 'em up, and they
make him foam for a while.
Well, what for did
he bite me, then?
'Cause the foamin'
makes him real cranky.
RAND: Now, was
there really a toad frog
at the watering trough?
'Cause if there wasn't,
this dog could be dangerous.
There was a toad
out there all right, Doc.
I seen him myself.
They bite down on 'em,
and the frog has a
toxic sack in its back.
It must taste very bad to a dog.
And they froth at the mouth
to get the taste out of there.
Well, you mean he-he
ain't got the hydrophobi'?
"Hydrophobia"
means "fear of water."
Watch this.
(Rand sighs)
Tom John, why don't you
and Jojo go buy yourselves
a stick of candy.
Thanks, Doc!
(Rand chuckles)
You mean I ain't gonna
die with the rabies?
No, you're not.
Well, golly Bill, Doc,
maybe I'll get a few more
of them hills clumb yet.
I'm that grateful, I'd buy
drinks for the whole pla...
Uh, wait till Matthew and Miss
Kitty and old Doc Adams hear
that I ain't gonna
die with rabies,
and I'm gonna die in
about three minutes of, uh,
gettin' shot...
by the Watson boys.
Well, if that don't peel
the skin off of a snake.
Mr. Haggen, maybe
you could talk to them.
(scoffs) Yeah.
Maybe it won't snow in December.
Barkeep, you got a back
door to this here place?
No, sir, there ain't. I
have enough trouble
watchin' non-payers
waltzing out the front.
Doc,
do me something, will you?
Sure, sure. Anything.
Now, I'll probably get
me one of them Watsons,
maybe even two, but...
you just make sure
they don't bury me close
to 'em up on
Boot Hill, will you?
I'll do that, now. I'll do it.
You know, I always
kind of figured
I'd make my dying count for
more than the likes of them.
Mr. Haggen...
Well, you know
yourself, ain't a one of 'em
that's worth the sweat
it takes to bury 'em.
Oh, I know that. I know
that. I-I've got an idea.
About what?
About a way that might
get you out of this thing.
Now, supposin'...
(ticking)
It's 4:00, sir.
Well, time has came.
Ain't no way to get her did
except to go out and do her.
You got no choice.
Keep a eye peeled
on that, will you?
Right.
(coughs)
♪♪
♪♪
You, mean man,
where's your gun?
I ain't got one.
We have, and
you'd better get one.
Don't believe I will.
I been a-studying about that.
One gun might get one
man, maybe even two.
But when it comes to
three, I got my doubtfuls.
And I just decided to whup
you all with my bare knuckles.
(chuckles) All three of us?
All three of you.
We shoot an unarmed man,
and we get hung.
By who?
Marshal Matthew Dillon,
a friend of mine in Dodge City.
Well,
we'd as soon to kick
you to death as shoot you.
Now we're unarmed.
You shoot us, you're in trouble.
Now, wait. Wait just
one minute, fellers.
I been wantin' to get a
chance to jaw with you fellers,
'cause I just can't see
no reason in the world
why we can't figure this out
in a fair way of
having this ruckus.
Well, I don't think that...
♪♪
(grunting)
(grunting)
(grunting)
(punching, grunting)
(grunting)
Get him. Hit him.
(shouts)
Now! Now!
Stop it! Stop it!
You're killin' him!
What do you mean, Doc?
You shouldn't be
fightin' this man.
- Well, he started it.
- I don't care who started it.
He has rabies, hydrophobia.
Stinkin' way to die.
Well, let's put him
out of his misery.
And who'll put you
out of your misery?
What do you mean?
Did he bite you?
He did, but I bit him back.
Well, that isn't the same.
Being bit by him is like
being bit by a rabid coyote.
Well, uh...
How 'bout you?
He dang near took my ear off!
- And you?
- He didn't bite me.
But you opened your knuckles
on his teeth, didn't you?
(gasping)
You mean us fighting
this fella's got us infected?
Well, I don't know for sure, but
you've sure been exposed to it.
- (gasps)
- You got to help us, Doc.
There's a way to make it well?
Now, you took a oath!
Now, you got to help us!
All right. I'll help you
the best way I know how.
As far as I know, a man that's
bitten by a rabid creature dies.
Now, there's a man in France
that claims to have a cure,
and there's a
doctor in Kansas City
that has access to the serum.
Can we get there in time?
Well, there's a chance, but
you'd have to leave right now.
Well, come on!
Let's get him up.
You think he might bite me?
Come on.
Easy.
♪♪
Pay him off, Doc.
The order was to get the
Watson boys out of town,
and Mr. Travers did it.
My name is Haggen,
Festus Haggen.
The man who killed Jim Travers.
Jim Travers killed hisself.
Anything you say, Mr. Travers.
How would you like
for me to bite you?
Uh, Mr. Haggen,
I think this is yours.
Much obliged, Doc.
Now, you wouldn't
probably think it to look at me,
but this here's
the mostest money
I've ever had at one time
in my entire born put together.
(crickets chirping)
When'd Festus get back?
I don't know.
He just came in and
bought a round for the house
and called for a new deck.
- He bought what?
- That's right.
Yeah, I wouldn't have believed
it, either, if I hadn't seen it.
Had an envelope
stuffed full of bills.
Festus.
Matthew,
got a pot of glue
on you someplace?
What happened to
you up at Bucklin?
Oh, I got shot and
stomped by some fellers
and bit by a hydrophobi' dog.
Well, it... well, actual
wasn't hydrophobi'...
Just kind of cranky is all.
Where'd you get all that money?
The town give it to me for
getting rid of some riffraff...
Watson boys.
The Watson boys?
Well, what about
your-your cousin Maude?
Oh. He escaped
'fore I even got there.
They ain't even lookin' for him.
They didn't have a tight
grip on him, so he got away.
You know something, Matthew?
That town give me
$300 for six hours' work.
When I think of the hours
that I've just broke my back
a-workin' for 15 cents...
Festus, who shot you?
Watson boys.
What for?
Oh, 'cause of a
big, black, leather
and silver Mexican saddle.
What's that got to do with it?
A... gunfighter named
Travers give it to me.
Travers? You mean Jim Travers?
He accidental shot hisself,
and I promised to bury him,
so he give me his saddle.
I just saw Ruthie
standing out in front here
wearing your old saddle.
Well, I... I just figured,
why build a whole new
batch of saddle sores?
That fancy saddle give
me so much trouble,
on the way home, I
just stopped and buried it
right by Travers
and took my old one.
You know, I got a feeling
he knowed all along
how much trouble
he was a-givin' me.
Festus, why don't you put
those cards down for once.
I think you and I ought
to have a little talk.
There she is! Four stories high!
- Pay up! Pay up, everybody!
- (indistinct chatter)
Come on. Pay her up.
(indistinct chatter)
ANNOUNCER: Stay tuned for
scenes from next week's Gunsmoke.