Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 11, Episode 9 - Malachi - full transcript

While Matt's out of town, his friends play along with a drifter's innocent impersonation of the marshal, but a man comes to town determined to get revenge on the marshal, and he's not playing.

(dramatic theme music playing)

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(both guns fire)

ANNOUNCER: starring
James Arness as Matt Dillon.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I didn't kill him, Ordman.

Ordman, I didn't kill him!

You ran, Shobin.



You ran and left
my brother to die.

I didn't have no choice, Ordman.

The marshal had us...
had us both pinned down.

Sure.

Yeah, well, if-if I hadn't...
if I hadn't have run,

they'd... they'd have...
they'd have hanged me.

Well, you ain't gonna
have to worry no more

about hanging, Shobin!

(weakly): Ordman... help me...

I ain't got time, Shobin.

I got an appointment with
the marshal of Dodge City.

(theme music playing)

♪♪

How you reckon he does that?



I don't know, but it isn't easy.

Just a little bit of milk
in that batter'd help it.

Well, there's probably
more to it than that, Festus.

Well, maybe just a
pinch of baking powder.

Well, they taste
good going down...

It's after they get down there

that they start
to giving you a fit.

Well, tell me, what do
you eat 'em for, then?

Well, next to coffee
in the morning,

they ain't nothing
smells better a-cookin'

than a batch of griddle cakes.

Well, maybe you ought
to just smell them, then.

Whoa!

Morning, Festus, Marshal.

- Howdy.
- Howdy, Malachi.

Ain't it a fine morning, though?

Seems like you're
back a little bit early

this time, aren't you, Malachi?

Fertilizer company
man's a-comin' by today.

Good.

Well, I better get
my stuff loaded.

Looks like you're gonna
do all right this time, Malachi.

This here ought to bring it
up to near seven dollars' worth.

(whistles)

Well, being a
regular spendthrift,

that ought to last
you a couple weeks.

(chuckles) Not
that long, Festus.

I done worked up a considerable
thirst picking up these bones.

A considerable thirst.

Just a great big
circle, ain't it?

What is?

Well, uh, picking up
bones makes you thirsty...

- Yeah.
- And being thirsty keeps you broke,

and a-bein' broke makes you
have to go back and get more bones.

(laughs)

Ain't it the truth?

Sure is a good
life, though, ain't it?

Well, it ain't bad.

Leastwise everything
comes out even, don't it?

(laughs)

I done told you, Festus,

I sure could use
you for a partner.

Uh, well, I'd... I'd like
to help you out, Malachi,

but... I just been so
dang busy here lately, I...

Well, you think on it some;
maybe you change your mind.

Come on over and
let me buy you a drink.

It's a little bit early for me.

Well... there sure is
a sight worse things

a fella can put in his
belly in the morning.

I think I'll just grit my teeth

and try to hold off till noon.

Much obliged anyhow.

Noon?

Maybe you wouldn't be
too good a partner after all.

Come on over to
the Long Branch later.

We'll swap a lie or two.

- Yeah?
- All right.

- I'll see you over yonder later.
- Giddyap!

That Malachi... (chuckles)

he's a regular pearl button
bangle Billy, ain't he, Matthew?

Yeah. He sure seems
to be fond of you, Festus.

Oh, yeah, he even
wants me to be his partner.

Well, say, that might
not be a bad idea.

Keep you out of trouble.

Aw, fiddle, Matthew,

ain't enough buffalo
bones to go around.

Now, look, I want you
to keep an eye on things

around town for me, Festus,
while I'm down in Spearville.

Course I will.

You better watch
old Malachi, too,

to see that he
doesn't get in trouble.

Malachi?!

Why, you know he never stirs
up any kind of a ruckus, Matthew.

Eh, well... I'll see
you later, Festus.

Keep your chin to the wind.

♪♪

Psst!

(quietly): Hey...

Boy, can you read writing?

Yes, sir.

Well, I broke my
specs the other day,

and I can't make out
who this is wrote to.

Could you help me out?

It says... "Ma... Ma..."

Marshal Dillon!

It was that second thing

that seemed a little
"unreadsome" to me.

No, sir, not "Dillon."

That last word's "Harper."

Harper?

Yeah.

First one's "Ma...

- Ma..."
- Malachi!

That's it... Malachi.

Malachi Harper.

Well, who in the tarnation

could be writing to him at the
marshal's office, you reckon?

- Mister...
- Huh?

You must be really
lost without your specs.

Oh, no, I just use 'em
to read with, that's all.

I don't know.

You're holding that
letter upside down.

Go on and play.

The smarter the kids...

(horse approaching)

- Howdy.
- Howdy.

Well, if you're tuckered
as that horse you're riding,

you're welcome to get
down and rest some.

Well, much obliged.

They's some beans
there and coffee.

- You alone?
- Yeah. I've been chasing

a wild stallion that's
been bothering my mares.

(chuckles) They can
be a nuisance, all right.

- You come far?
- Mexico.

Well, that's far enough.

If I, uh, keep heading
north, I'll hit Dodge, won't I?

Well, north and a mite east.

I doubt if you're gonna
make it on that horse.

You know, you're right...
I need a new mount.

I'll say you do.

That horse is wind-broke.

You been riding him pretty hard.

Well, I'd admire
to be of help to you,

but, uh... I need mine
to run down that stallion.

(sucks teeth) Won't
make a trade, huh?

'Fraid not. That horse
of yours is no good to me.

Yeah.

Then maybe you'll sell me one.

Well, now, I don't want
to sound unreasonable,

but like I say, I need
them. You see...

(piano playing waltz)

(slurps)

(exhales)

(sniffs)

Malachi's still here?

And I think he's running
a little low on cash.

Oh.

Well, I guess I better
buy a round of drinks

for the whole house.

DOC: No, you don't
do anything of the kind.

You're gonna come right in here,

and you're gonna step
right up here at this bar

and take your medicine.

All right! Quit hounding me!

You are about to witness the
millennium, Kitty. How are you?

- I'm about to witness a what?
- Millennium.

He's gonna buy me a drink.

Aw, you talk like
my foot's asleep.

I've boughten you drinks before.

Well, then...

Well, Doc, it looks like
this is your lucky day,

'cause I'm gonna
buy you a drink, too.

Oh, no, no, you're...

Oh, well, thanks anyway, Kitty,
but he's gonna buy this drink,

and he's gonna pay for
it, and I'm gonna watch it!

All right, Doc, I will!

I said I would, didn't I?

- DOC: Where'd Sam go?
- MALACHI: Miss Kitty?

I done... I done come
to say thanks, personal.

Well, it's my pleasure.

It was sure a friendly
thing you done,

and I appreciate it, I do.

I appreciate it.

(laughs)

- Howdy, Doc.
- Malachi.

Festus.

Malachi.

Oh, I got a letter here for
you, sent to Matthew's office.

Letter?

For me?

Well, for heaven sakes.

This is for you.

Why in thunder
does he have his mail

- sent to the marshal's...
- I'm fixin' to, Doc!

You ought to have your
mail sent general delivery.

You oughtn't to have it
sent to the marshal's office.

Don't you know that, dumbbell?

Oh.

Well, I'll be switched.

(exhales)

Baltimore, Maryland.

That'd be my brother Ethan.

Long time since I
done heard from him.

We ain't seen each other
in going on to 35 year.

I didn't know he had a brother.

- I didn't, either.
- No, he told me about him once.

He's some big,
high-powered businessman,

- just richer than all git-out.
- He is?

Well, what do you
know about that.

And here's old Malachi
been picking up buffalo bones

on the prairie to make a living.

What's wrong with that?

Well, I didn't say there
was anything wrong with it!

You know, he earns
his breakfast and dinner

- and supper every day, too.
- Stop that!

Angels and saints!

Save this poor sinner!

What's the matter with him?

Well, is that good or bad?

I don't know. Sounds
like he's got religion.

It's Ethan!

It's Ethan!

FESTUS: What about him?

He's a-comin' here to Dodge.

Why, that's wonderful.

Oh, no, Miss
Kitty, it's terrible.

Why's that?

I done told you, Festus,

about all his high-toney ways,

about all the money
he's got, remember?

Yeah...

Well, he's a-comin' out

to San Francisco
to a big meeting,

and he's a-comin'
by Dodge to see me.

Well, what's so
terrible about that?

Oh, you don't understand.

Ethan...

Ethan was always...

the one folks has looked up to,

always the bright one.

Well, Ethan can't see me

here like this... not Ethan.

DOC: When's he gonna get here?

He's coming tomorrow.

Festus, you got to help me.

You got to hide me. Huh?

Course. You can stay at
my place, if you want to.

Oh, that's purely a
friendly thing to do, Festus.

Now, just a minute.

You can't hide from
your own brother.

(chuckles) Miss Kitty,
you just watch me.

(chuckles)

Angels and saints, she's right.

I can't hide.

I just remembered.

FESTUS: Why's that?

Well, I told him I was
a-doin' here in Dodge.

Well, it can't be that bad.

Miss Kitty, it's worse.

I done told Ethan...

Well, go on... what'd you say?

I done told Ethan I was...

the marshal of Dodge City.

Well, without a doubt, you're
the biggest fool I ever saw.

Well, golly Bill, Doc, I had to
do something to help him out.

Well, you didn't have
to do a thing like that.

It's just for five hours.

I don't care if it's
only for five minutes!

If he was gonna
stay longer than that,

it'd be a different thing.

Well, now, suppose he
decides to stay longer than that?

He can't! He's got to
be in San Francisco!

He said that in his letter.

How do I look?

Well, don't ask me.

I ain't gonna get
mixed up in this.

Malachi, I told you...

Under the coat.

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

(sighs)

Oh, yes, you are
mixed up in this...

You and Miss Kitty
done give me your word.

Well, that was before
you got this silly idea.

- Oh, you got to have a gun.
- A gun?

- A gun?
- No, no, no, no, please, Festus.

Course! If you're marshal...

Hold your coat up,
there, and keep still.

No, I'm scared to death
of them of them things.

I ain't never shot
one of them in my life.

Well, you don't have
this one, neither.

I don't want to wear it, either.

Festus, don't
put no bullets in it.

Just keep it in your scabbard.

You ain't gonna have to use it.

DOC: You hope.

There. Now.

How's he look now?

Ridiculous.

Let's see, I told Sam...

Hank, Delmonico's...

I reckon I told everybody.

Festus, I ain't never
gonna forget you for this.

Just never mind that.

You ready to get started?

I reckon.

Festus...

- What?
- Just a teeny weeny...

- Not so much as a whiff.
- Just to take the edge off.

Not even as much as a whiff
while your brother's in town

or I'm gonna get on you like
ugly on a ape, and I mean it.

Festus...

I'm gonna say it
one more time...

I've got a terrible
feeling about this.

Doc, will you quit
a-hangin' crepe?

What in tarnation could
happen in five hours?

I just want to know one thing,
where can I find the marshal?

Well, I ain't no
information agency.

I'm just a stable man.

You're liable to find
him most anywhere.

You want this horse
shod, don't you?

That's right.

Looks like you're gonna
need shoes all around.

Well, get it done.

Take an hour or two.

Be about right.

Hey, I believe you're
a stranger in Dodge.

I don't recollect...

If you don't know
where the marshal is,

maybe you can tell me
where I can find his office.

Right on down Front Street.

You'll run right into it.

Thanks.

Can't miss it.

FESTUS: Doc, as quick
as the stage coach comes in,

why, you're
supposed to tell him...

Yes, I know, I know...
I invite him to dinner.

But first you got some important
something you got to do.

See? And while you're doing
that, why, we'll sashay over

to the Long Branch,
let him meet Miss Kitty,

buy him a drink...
you don't get none.

And directly, why we'll just
meander on down to Delmonico's

and have vittles with you.

Then we'll get on down to
the stable to see my horse.

When we was boys,
Ethan loved horses.

Then we're going to scoot
him right over to Matthew's office

and keep him holed up there
till the stagecoach leaves.

That's all they is to it.

Well...

(hoofbeats approaching)

Whoa! Whoa...

Malachi?

Ethan?!

Malachi!

Well, Malachi, now just...

look at you.

30 years.

Yes, yes, looks
like every one of 'em

have been been
good to you, Malachi.

Looks like you've done
all right for yourself, too.

(laughing): Whoa-ho! Yeah.

Oh, well, too many years
sitting behind a desk, you know.

Too much paperwork.

I should have gone in for
this outdoor life. That's...

Pardon me, Marshal.

Oh, 'scuse me, Festus.

Marshal Malachi Harper.

- (Ethan laughs)
- MALACHI: This here's my friend

Festus Haggen; this
here's my friend Doc Adams.

- My brother Ethan. -Hi.
- How do you do, doctor.

All plumb all the way from
Baltimore, Pennsylvania, huh?

- Maryland.
- Certainly.

Uh, Malachi only wrote once

since he moved here to Dodge,

but he mentioned
both of you gentlemen.

Oh, Mr. Harper, say,

I'd like it if you'd be my
guest, uh, for a bite to eat

over at Delmonico's
a little later.

Oh, that's very
friendly of you, sir.

Well, it's indeed my pleasure.

Now, let's say,
uh, about an hour,

'cause I got something
I got to do right now.

Is that all right?

Fine, fine.

Got letters in my box...

Is them there all your
belongings in that carpet, uh...

Oh, y-yeah. Well,
no, I sent my trunks

on ahead to San Francisco.

After that long dusty trip,

I bet you'd like a drink.

Whiskey?

You don't drink
whiskey, do you, Malachi?

Whiskey? No. He-he...

Mm...

Maybe cold beer,
maybe, on a warm day.

Well, I'm very glad
to hear that, Malachi.

You know, hard liquor
has been the downfall

of many a strong man.

Oh, that's true, Ethan.

That's very true.

You sound like as if you
don't drink none, mister, uh...

No. No, I don't.

That's, uh, on principle.

See, a businessman like
me in the business world,

you just, uh... (chuckles)

No, no, that dulls the mind.

Same thing with marshaling.

Ain't that true, marshal?

Well, that's very true, Festus.

That sure is true.

Well...

Well.

Well... (light chuckle)

You're gonna meet another
friend of mine down here...

Miss Kitty Russell.

Well, that would
be very pleasant.

- Howdy, Miss Kitty.
- Morning, Miss Kitty.

Look who came to see
you... The marshal hisself.

Well, if it isn't
Marshal Harper.

This here's my brother Ethan.

Miss Kitty Russell.

How do you do?

Delighted, Miss Russell.

Uh, Mr. Harper here's
came plumb from Baltimore.

- That's in...
- Maryland.

A-And he's on his
way to San Francisco,

and he had a few hours,
so he just stopped off

to see his brother, old
Mala... The marshal.

Well, a reunion. I
think that's wonderful.

Calls for a drink.

Uh, we'll have your
usual, Miss Kitty... beer.

Beer.

Oh, yes, of course. Beer.

I'll, uh, I'll make sure
it's good and cold.

Please, sit down, gentlemen.

What a charming lady.

Ain't she, though?

Tell me, Malachi,

do you ever have much trouble

in an establishment
of this nature?

Well...

sometimes they get
a little rambunctious.

As a rule, they don't
kick up no ruckuses

when the marshal's around.

What'll it be?

Whiskey... the kind
without any water in it.

Well, there's no water in any
Long Branch whiskey, mister.

If you'd ever been
in Dodge before,

you'd know that.

Is that so?

Well, you're right
about one thing.

I ain't never been
in Dodge before.

My brother has, though,
maybe you heard of him.

Jess Ordman?

Yeah, I heard of him.

Mm-hmm.

- And the marshal killed him.
- (coins clatter)

And your brother had it coming.

Well, you might say the
same thing for the marshal.

As a matter of fact,
there have been times

when I've thought of, oh...

giving up the business
back in Baltimore.

What would you want
to do a thing like that for?

Oh, I don't know.

Just to search for the
simple life, I suppose.

Well, that's easy
said for anybody

that's got hisself
a heap of money.

Oh, tut-tut-tut, oh now,

money is of very small
consequence, Festus.

Now, ain't that the truth.

Feller don't need a lot of
money to have a good life.

You know, the older we get,

the closer we come
in thought, Malachi.

When we was tadpoles,

we used to fight
over everything.

Never agreed on nothing.

(laughs)

As a matter of fact,
uh, Malachi here

was not above, uh,
taking a nip from Mother's

elderberry wine now
and then. You remember...

Aw, you don't mean that.

Ethan used to snitch
on me, too... hmm?

Oh, it w-was all for the good.

Just look how it
turned out. Just...

You don't drink
now, and look at you.

You have this whole town right
there in the palm of your hand.

Just because you don't drink.

A very occasional beer

is all I ever drink now.

Yeah, I caught you nipping,
once, too, remember?

(laughing, stammering)

- Excuse me.
- Ah!

Here are your beers.

And, uh, Festus,

I think Sam would like
to see you for a minute.

Oh, much obliged, Miss Kitty.

I'll be back directly.

Well, gentlemen...

Whiskey.

What you want?

Festus, if you ain't careful,
there's gonna be trouble.

What do you mean?

You remember Jess Ordman?

Jess Ordman...

Oh, ain't he the feller
that Matthew had to shoot

a couple months back?

And you remember what
he said, just before he died,

about his brother Del?

I recollect he said

when Del heared about this,

he's gonna come
gunning for the marshal.

Well, that's Del Ordman sitting
right over there at that table.

Aw, foot.

Matthew don't take no stock

in no gunman's
reputation, you know that.

Bartender!

More whiskey!

Look, Festus, he's never
been in Dodge before.

He doesn't know Matt Dillon.

He's here looking
for the marshal.

The marshal!

The... Malachi.

Barkeep...

if I don't get some
more whiskey,

I'm gonna tear your place up.

That cow person
certainly is disagreeable.

Oh, well, don't worry about
it. Sam will take care of him.

Uh, we'd ought to go
meet Doc for dinner now.

SAM: Well, hold your britches.

COWBOY: Don't tell
me to hold my britches.

Malachi, tell him to
stop that right away.

Oh, them things
happen all the time.

They don't mean nothin'.

- (glass shatters)
- Well, I thought you said

people were quiet when
they saw you in here.

That there one must
be a stranger in town.

He don't know me.

Well, go tell him who
you are, immediately.

COWBOY: Barkeep.

Barkeep...

if I don't get another
glass of whiskey,

I'm liable to just
blow your ears off.

(quietly): Move just
as much as a inch,

and I'm gonna shoot
half your ribs out.

Now, just ease your
gun back in the scabbard.

Just keep lookin'
right straight ahead,

don't look around or...

you'll be deader than
last year's bird's nest.

I'll back him up with this.

Mister?

(chuckles)

I hope you ain't going
to take no offense

to what I'm going to say to you.

No...

no, you go right ahead
and speak your piece.

I'll listen.

Well...

of course, a-a
fella has got a right

to drink, all right.

Well, um...

I'm leaving now, if...

if it's all right with you.

(chuckles) Why, sure.

(quietly): Just
go straight on out

and don't look
around or nothin'.

Malachi.

I think we'd ought
to go meet Doc now.

Well, I mean to say, you
didn't even draw your gun.

I don't like to use
it unless I have to.

That was the very bravest
thing I have ever seen.

Aw, fiddle, your brother does
things like that all the time.

We'd ought to go meet Doc now.

I'll tell you things about him

that'll just make your eyes
pooch right out of your head;

make your hair
stand on end... I will.

Will you join us, Miss Kitty?

Oh, uh... oh, no,
I-I don't think so.

Um, but thanks just the same.

But I have some
things to do here.

We'll see you directly.

I hope I see you
again before you leave.

Thank you.

- Come on. -Oh...
- Morning, Miss Kitty.

♪♪

Well! That was a
really wonderful meal.

I want to thank you
again, Dr. Adams.

- Well, it was my pleasure.
- And great service.

Service in the grand
style, you know.

Surprising to find something
so satisfying this far west.

Well, Delmonico's figures

they ain't nothing too
good for our marshal.

Oh, I noticed that, and
I was frankly impressed.

Yes, kind of special treatment
for special people, you see.

Well, let's, uh, try
to get on with it now.

Hey, you know what I
would really like to do?

- What's that?
- Well...

I'd like to go down
and-and see Malachi's office.

I'd like to just... I'd-I'd
like to get the feel of it.

What we was thinking was
that we'd take you down,

- show you the marshal's
horse. I hear -Yes, but if I could sit

- that you cotton to good horseflesh.
- In that...

He's right over yonder in
Moss Grimmick's stable.

Get the whole
feel of that place.

I would be so...

And-and besides that,
they's been a town drunk

that's just been a-pesterin'
the daylights out of the marshal.

You remember the one, Doc,

I was telling you about,
whilst they was in there

washing up before dinner?

- Oh, the drunk!
- Th-That one.

Yeah, if you go by your office,
you're gonna run into him, sure.

Well...

Yeah, and you've did everything

you can do for him, Marshal.

I wouldn't let a little old
good-for-nothing scamp

spoil my visiting
time with my brother.

I got an idea.

Why don't you, after
you've seen the horse,

why don't you just
come on up to my office

and we'll just visit there.

- FESTUS: Oh, that's a good idea.
- ETHAN: Say...

- I'd really enjoy that.
- Ain't that a good idea,

- to go visit? -Fine.
- We'll just do it.

Well, I-I really appreciate
all your kindness.

And I-I mean I-I really do.

- DOC: Well, it's nothing at all.
- Oh, yes, it is. Yes, it is.

You-you make a
person feel right at home.

- Well, it's a pure pleasure.
- You know, a man...

- The stable's right down...
- You-you get away from the...

the hurly-burly and-and the-the
rush of the business world

- out here among real people.
- Mr. Harper...

It's the kind of a thing...
Well, I tell you what,

it makes a man feel that he
could almost forget everything

that he left behind
him and stay right here.

I mean, it's that
touching. I could...

- No, Ethan, you couldn't do that.
- I-I could stay here

and, well, just
never... never leave...

See, you couldn't do that.

That's what you get

for being such a big
important businessman.

There's so many folks
a-dependin' on you in Baltimore.

- That's right, Ethan.
- Aw, no, no, no.

Still and all, you
know what they say

about blood and
water, huh? (chuckles)

And it's been such a doggone
long time, brother Malachi.

You know, if we don't get
down to that stable directly,

you ain't gonna get
to see that horse at all.

That's right, Ethan,
and your stage leaves

- in about a couple of hours.
- It sure does.

Much obliged for
the vittles, Doc.

FESTUS: Hank.

Oh, Hank.

It's me, Festus.

I got the marshal and
his brother with me.

Hank must have just
went out for a spell.

Right back here, Mr. Harper.

There is nothing like
the smell of a stable

to an old country boy.

Sure takes you back
over the years, don't it?

Oh, I've almost forgotten
how to remember, Malachi.

Now, Mr. Harper, this
here is the marshal's horse.

Well, well, a
splendid-looking animal.

The marshal, huh?

Did I hear him
call you "Marshal"?

- Well...
- That's right.

My name's Ordman, Del Ordman.

Oh. Pleased to meet
you, Mr. Ordman.

This here is my brother Ethan

- and that there's...
- Your brother?

I see.

Well, Jess Ordman
was my brother.

MALACHI: What?

Name doesn't mean
anything to you?

I can't say it does.

- (chuckles)
- See, the reason...

You play it pretty calm.

Oh, it comes from
years of being a lawman.

Oh.

Well, you and I have some
business together, Marshal.

He's busy. Can't you see that?

That's all right.

You go right ahead and tend

to your business, Malachi.

I don't mind waiting.

Oh, there's no hurry, Marshal.

I'll be around.

Uh, uh, Mr. Ordman,
see, what you...

Why don't you quit
buzzing around, little fly.

You're gonna get swatted.

"Little fly"? Well,
I'll swat him.

Mr. Haggen,
Mr. Haggen, don't-don't...

Well, I'll tear him
up like a sow's bed.

Don't pay attention
to that rude man.

He deserves a
thorough dressing down.

That is the most despicable...

Malachi, what kind of business

would you have had
with him, anyway?

I don't rightly know, Ethan.

Well, it's certainly nothing
you couldn't have handled.

(chuckles) I tell you, Malachi,

I envy you more
and more all the time.

More and more all the time.

Well, I reckon we've
had plenty of the horse.

We'd ought to be getting
on up to Doc's place.

You two go ahead
on up to Doc's office.

I'll be back just
quick as I get done.

Oh, say, you're-you're-you're
not thinking

of confronting that
Ordman person, are you?

Oh, of course not.

Yahoos like him's left up
to the marshal's handling.

This here's just a little
chore I got to get did.

Well, we have been rather
monopolizing your time.

Well, it's been a pure
pleasure, Mr. Harper.

You tell Doc I'll
be up directly.

Right. Fine.

That Ordman feller's
a-gunnin' for the marshal.

That means you.

So you stay hid till I
get back, you hear me?

The, uh, Widow Jenkins had
outside stairs just like these,

when we were young.

Do you remember that, Malachi?

Yeah, that-that's right.

(chuckling): Yeah.

Oh, lookit here, this is
a note from Dr. Adams.

He... Oh, he's been called
away on an emergency,

and he says for us to
wait for him, if we will.

- Right.
- Uh, Malachi...

you know, I was not talking
lightly when I said I envy you.

Well, now, Ethan,

marshaling has got its dark
side, too, I guarantee you.

Well, there's no dark
side to the affection

that I see expressed
by your friends for you.

Oh, they's kindly, right enough.

Yes, that's something
I don't see much of

in the business world.

It's something I wish I
could share with you.

Don't look like we're
gonna have much time

to share much of nothin', Ethan.

Your stage leaves
in about an hour.

Yeah.

That is one of the
unhappy aspects of life.

What is, Ethan?

Time.

It's forever running out.

That's right.

Well, that's what
makes tomorrow, Ethan,

the time running out today.

(chuckles)

My tomorrows have been
much too alike for much too long.

Malachi, I...

Uh...

I don't... I don't suppose
it would work out anyway.

What wouldn't, Ethan?

- Our living the same life.
- (chuckles)

Sure ain't no
denying that, is there?

Well, it-it might
have, you know.

One time, way
back, a long time ago.

A big businessman like you
and the likes of somebody like me.

It's enough to make
a fella chuckle, ain't it?

(chuckling)

(chuckles) Yeah, yeah.

Sure, that's... S-Sure is.

Well, I, uh, I left my bag
down at, uh, Miss Russell's.

I suppose I better
just walk down there...

It'll save time, Ethan.

And I'll wait here.

Yeah, you-you do that,
Malachi. I'll see you shortly.

Right.

♪♪

(door opens)

♪♪

Hello, Marshal.

I've been looking for you.

You got me wrong, mister.

I ain't...

Time for talking's over.

Now, you fill your hand.

It's done filled already.

Look, I'm not here
to play games.

Now, you draw, or I'm gonna
kill you where you stand.

♪♪

(sighs)

Ordman been back in here, Sam?

No, he ain't been back.

Well, I've been looking
all over Dodge for him.

Well, he's likely
lying low someplace

waiting to make his play.

- I know that, Sam.
- (slaps bar)

That's why I'm trying to run him
down, straighten everything out.

Well, I don't think he's gonna
be in much of a listening mood.

I don't reckon he will.

Only thing I can do is
tell Mr. Harper the truth

and try to get Malachi
out of town; it's all I can do.

SAM: Oh, Mr. Harper
was in here a while ago.

He was?! Was Malachi with him?

No, he was alone. He
came to pick up his bag.

Did he go up to Doc's, did he?

Well, I didn't ask him,
Festus, and he didn't say.

All I know is what I told
you... When I came back,

they were both gone, along
with a bottle of my good whiskey.

Well, that means for sure
they ain't together, then,

'cause Mr. Harper don't drink,

and Malachi wouldn't
take a drink in front of him.

It means Malachi's drunker
than a skunk someplace,

is what it means.

Oh, golly Bill.

He wouldn't stand a
chance if he was sober,

let alone being drunk.

And you'd ought
to have saw the way

that Ordman looked at Mr. Harper

when he found out
he's Malachi's brother...

The marshal's brother.

Well, why don't you just find
Ordman and tell him the truth?

Well, fiddle, I
can't find him, Doc.

Told you something like
this was gonna happen.

I've been telling you all along.

Are you just gonna keep
pacing back and forth

saying "I told you so," or
are you gonna help me out?

Help you what?

Well, to find Mr. Harper
afore Ordman does

and get him on that stagecoach.

They're fixin' to leave
in less than a hour.

By thunder, Festus,
if I ever let you

talk me into another one
of your flea-brained, cra...

Doc, I'm a-taking a Solomon
oath right here and now...

You-you taking an oath?

- Yeah.
- Well, that's the wrong hand.

Doc, I ain't never gonna try
to talk you into nothin' again.

I still don't believe it.

(Festus scoffs)

Ornery old scudder, all you
do is pick at me, peck at me.

You never try to help
me out anytime I need...

(groans)

♪♪

♪♪

Did you get Mr. Harper
on the stage? Did you, Doc?

Mr. Harper? I haven't
seen Mr. Harper.

I haven't seen Malachi,
either one of them.

Well, what in the tarnation

did you let the
stagecoach leave for, then?

Let the...? Well, now,
how in the thunder

- can I keep a stage...
- Well, you could've just...

Could've what?

Well...

Oh, Lord, Doc, what in
the world am I gonna do?

Well, I don't know
what you're gonna do.

I just know that I
haven't got time

to play any more of
your silly games with you.

- I got patients to attend to.
- Well, you ain't just gonna

go off and leave
me in the middle

- of this mess, are you?
- I told you and told you

not to get mixed up in
it... You wouldn't listen.

This ought to be a
lesson to you, Festus.

Just don't stick your nose
in other people's business.

I wish't I never had a-came
to this town in the first place.

Festus, how could you let
something like this happen?

Matthew, the only thing I let

was Malachi be
something he ain't

so he could make a
good imprint on his brother.

Yeah, and now he's got
this Ordman gunning for him.

Him and his brother both.

(sighs): Well,
let's go find them.

I've looked everyplace, Matthew.

I can't find the
hide nor hair of 'em.

Well, they've got to be
somewhere, you know.

Marshal?

Marshal, that old
fool Malachi Harper's

over at the Long Branch, all
dressed up in fancy clothes,

high as a hoot owl, and
playacting like he was you.

Well, at least he's safe.

Not for long, he ain't safe.

He's calling down on some
fella named Ordman right now.

This h'yere...

this h'yere represents
law and order, mister.

- ORDMAN: Is that so?
- Yeah.

And it ain't a-runnin'
from you no more.

You show it some respect!

(sighs deeply)

I don't know how
you ever took Jess,

but you're gonna pay for it.

Jess?

My brother, you sot!

Thar's a dignity to
this h'yere badge,

and I ain't no sot!

Draw.

(footsteps approaching)

DILLON: Hold on.

All right, Malachi,
go on, get out of here.

I understand you're
looking for the marshal?

I found him.

You have now.

I see.

Well, there's no denying you
make a better picture of one.

Mister, you got two
choices right now.

One of them's to
get out that door.

I come a long ways.

I'm too tired to do
any more traveling.

I'm sure glad you come,
Marshal, 'cause if you hadn't,

I'm a-feared I'd have
had to take him myself.

Marshal! Marshal!

Listen, I found a
dead man in the stable,

in one of the stalls.

He's a big man,
wearing fancy clothes.

FESTUS: Mr. Harper!

I found him just a few
minutes ago, third stall back.

I come straight to get you.

FESTUS: My fault,
Matthew, all my fault.

Oh, no.

(coughing, wheezing, sputtering)

(yawns)

(crying): I'm not good
enough to shine his shoes.

He's drunk, Matthew,

just plain old drunk.

I've never seen one drunker.

I-I-I-I've been a failure

all of my life.

I've just been an old, no-good

drunken fraud and a... failure.

And y-y-you...

you could see right through me,

just like a piece of glass.

(sniffling): It was
that elderberry wine

of Ma's what done it.

It had to be.

That's what done it, all right.

That's right.

(Ethan sobbing)

(Festus laughing)

You'd think he'd appreciate

a feller trying to help him out.

Well, I imagine he'd
ask for your advice

if he wanted it, Festus.

Well, Oswald don't know
enough to ask for help.

You don't have to eat those
griddle cakes, you know.

Well, shoot, I wouldn't

if they didn't smell
so dang good.

Now all in the world...

all he'd have to do
would be to add some milk

and baking powder...
You already told me that.

Well, that'd do it.

It'd keep 'em from glomping up.

Glomping up?

Yeah, you know.

After they hit the
pit of your belly,

well, they just
kind of glomp up.

Hurts.

- Morning, Marshal.
- Malachi.

- Festus.
- Howdy, Malachi.

How is everything?

Just as fine as goose down.

Business good?

Picking up some.

I'm glad to hear that.

We just heading out.

Stopped by for a little
early morning scamper juice.

Ethan!

(wheezing cough)

DILLON: Ethan.

Oh, good morning, there,
Marshal, good morning.

- Good morning, Mr. Haggen.
- Mr. Harper.

Hear you're fixing to head
out on the prairie again.

Yes, we expect to be
gone about a month.

We heard about a big buffalo
drive over near the Arkansas,

and we anticipate
a very... (coughs)

lucrative haul of bones.

FESTUS: Good luck to you.

- We'll see you directly.
- Giddap!

Sure is too bad.

What's that?

Oh, Ethan's joining up
with Malachi like that.

What? Too bad?

It's the best thing that
Ethan could have did.

Well, yeah, it kind
of cuts you out

of being his partner, though.

Oh, well...

I reckon you're right, at that,

but then you can't have
everything in life, Matthew.

I don't mind doing
anything for them two.

Mmm.

You know, Festus, you're...
you're a true friend, yep.

Not too dependable
a friend, but, uh...

What do you mean,
I ain't dependable?

That's harder than
I'd slam a door.

Everything turned
out all right, didn't it?

And here I thought we
done had all this out...

and here you got to
get it all started up again.

You know I ain't gonna
do nothin' like that...

(Festus continues, indistinctly)