Gunsmoke (1955–1975): Season 1, Episode 22 - Tap Day for Kitty - full transcript

Matt suspects Kitty of shooting and wounding an old man who attempted to abduct her in hopes of forcing her to marry him.

( bold theme playing)

(gunshot)

ANNOUNCER: Gunsmoke...



starring James
Arness as Matt Dillon.

( mellow theme playing)

DILLON: It makes no difference
if a man is young or old,

wise or foolish,
cowardly or brave.

Just one bullet
from another's gun

can put him in a shallow grave

here on Boot Hill.

I'm Matt Dillon,
United States marshal.

It's part of my job
to stop the killings

and keep the peace

over there in Dodge
and all along the frontier.

Sometimes it's not easy.



But it's what they pay me for,

and easy or not,
it's gotta be done.

( mellow theme playing)

Well, here you are, sir.

Hmmm. Ain't that something?

Yes, sir, that looks
right good on you.

Just a little letting in
here and taking out there,

and it's gonna be just perfect.

Well, Nettie here
can do that, I reckon.

You, ma'am?

Never thought I'd
wear one of these.

Well, now, how about
an...? A-a vest to go with it?

It's the latest fashion.

Ain't that a mite fancy
for marrying clothes?

Marrying?

Oh, I didn't know.

I thought... She's
just my housekeeper.

Oh, and I was just a-wondering

why a... A rancher like yourself

was buying these
here store clothes.

Marrying, eh?

Well, then you need
a... A nice ring too.

Oh?

It's custom.

Well, I... I reckon when
the time comes, then.

I... I ain't even found her yet.

That's what I come to town for.

Y-you come to Dodge
to look for a wife?

Yeah. And soon as I find
her, I'll be back for the ring

and won't stay
for the day or two.

Well, sir, you might
find the pickings

a mite slim around here.

Why, we ain't got many
ladies of any description,

least of all not your age.

Age don't matter.

Maybe not to you,
but it might to them.

( ominous theme playing)

I'll get me a wife.

Don't you never fear about that.

A man's a fool not to
know when he's well-off.

No more sass out of you.

(women laughing)

Hello, marshal.

Hey, Kitty, you're
missing the fun.

Hi, marshal.

Hello, Kate. Olive.

You gotta hear this, Kitty.

What'd you say your
name was, old man?

My name is Nip Cullers.

Heh-heh! And I ain't so old.

I... I ain't a day over 60.

Or a day under.

How come you never
been to Dodge before?

I only just bought me a
ranch down on Crooked Creek.

I never been in Kansas before.

I... I made all my money
mining out in Arizona.

Money. You hear
that, Kate? He's rich.

KATE: You sure look rich.

Well, I'm... I'm bargaining
with the storekeep

to get me some new clothes.

A rich man don't need
to bargain for a suit.

Can't you see the
diamond rings and all?

No, but I am rich, though.

And now my ma died... Your ma?

That's right. (laughing)

She was really
old and crippled up.

And she died, and
now I can get married.

You mean a man your age
has never been married?

Well, I was.

But she died, oh, a
long, long time ago.

Don't you have any kids?

Some.

All but one of 'em run off

just as soon as
they got big enough.

(both laughing)

That's kinda sad.

Why do they have
to laugh at him?

I don't know.

So you come to Dodge
lookin' for a wife, huh?

There's women here.

I figured I'd look 'em over.

And take your pick, huh?

What else? (laughs)

Even if you did have
money, which you don't,

I wouldn't marry an
ugly old coot like you.

OLIVE: Me either.

I've seen water dogs
I'd sooner cuddle.

(both laugh)

I wouldn't get any
closer to you than this

to save me from hanging.

(chuckling)

Olive, that's mean.

Well, look at him.

You don't have to
talk to him like that.

Oh, Kitty.

The old fool's crazy.

He's not doing you any harm.

Oh, no.

No, no. I don't
mean to do no harm.

But I'm gonna find me a wife.

You don't need a wife, old man.

You need a bell around
your neck and one leg tied up.

(laughs) That's enough.

Huh?

You and Kate get outta
here and leave him alone.

Since when did you start
to run things around here?

You ever see me fight?

Kitty.

Take it easy, now.

You girls'll look
like scarecrows

when I'm through
with you. Now get out!

Oh, wait a minute, Kitty.

We didn't mean anything.

Then get away from this table.

All right.

All right.

I'm going.

You too, Kate.

Sure.

We didn't wanna
talk to him anyway.

You ought to
forgive them, mister.

They learn all that talk
from cowboys and such

that come in here.

They said your name was Kitty.

That's right.

You're nice, Miss
Kitty. (chuckles)

Well, sometimes a
woman can handle women

better than a man can.

You're pretty too.

Yeah, well... Look, Nip, you...

You better stay outta here.

You go look for a
wife someplace else.

Oh, I don't have to.

No? Not now.

I found one.

Yeah?

You.

Me? Sure.

Oh, I didn't want
either of them two,

I-I was just looking them over.

But I like you fine.

You'll make me a good wife.

(chuckles)

You shut up, mister.

Ahem. Sorry.

(scoffs) Look, Nip, don't...

Don't go getting any ideas.

Oh, it's all right, Kitty.

Now, I'll take
care of everything.

It'll take me a day or two,

but I'll be back. Hey, wait.

We'll get married just as soon
as I can arrange everything.

You'll see.

I'll be back.

( suspenseful theme playing)

Matt!

Well, looks like you got
yourself into something, Kitty.

Well...

Try to be nice to somebody
and do a good deed,

and see what happens.

(chuckles)

It's not funny. I
think he means it.

Well, he certainly
was positive enough.

MAN: Miss Kitty.

Reverend.

Miss Kitty, I was
delighted to hear the news.

Simply delighted. News?

Especially since
you and Mr. Cullers

have chosen me to perform
the ceremony tomorrow.

I must admit I was
rather surprised.

(people laughing)

It's a celebration.

You bet. Hee-hee!

A man don't get
married every day,

especially at your age.

(laughs)

Yeah, I sure envy that Kitty.

Well, come on, now.

Everybody wash down the dust.

Nip Cullers is buying.

It's a celebration.

(chattering)

I was just coming for you.

You gotta do something.

What's the matter,
Kitty? Cullers in there.

He's serious, Matt, he's
even set up a wedding.

You've gotta help me.

Well, let's go in.

OLIVE: Kitty.

Well, now. Here
comes the bride. Ha-ha!

Kitty.

Hoss, set up more drinks.

DILLON: Never mind, Sam.

Well, hello, marshal.

You'll come to the wedding too.

Everybody's invited.

Well, Cullers, Kitty said
she doesn't wanna marry you.

Oh, well, you know
how women are, marshal.

Kind of bashful-like.

Ha!

Kitty's not a bashful
woman, Cullers.

She just doesn't
wanna marry you.

She can't back out now.

Back out?

(scoffs)

Matt, there's no
use talkin' to him.

I decided on her,

and that's how it's gotta be.

I'm comin' by for
her at noon tomorrow,

and we're gonna get churched.

You come by for me at noon
tomorrow or any other time,

and I'll be waitin' for
you with a shotgun

to blow your head off.

I mean it.

That ain't no
way to talk, Kitty.

The talking's over, Cullers.

You get outta town right now,
or I'm gonna have to lock you up.

Lock me up?

In jail.

Until you learn to
quit bothering people.

Well, now, who ever
heard of a man going to jail

for wanting to get married?

I'm not gonna argue
with you, Cullers.

Take your choice, right now.

I-I don't wanna go to jail.

All right, get out.

Well...

All right.

I will.

Now, don't you worry, Kitty.

I'll be back.

And I'll be waiting
with a shotgun.

I come to Dodge
to get me a wife.

She's it.

Ain't no man gonna
stand in my way.

I am.

Then I got a right
to kill you, marshal.

Any man would somebody
come between him and his woman.

I'll give you till dark to
get out of Dodge, Cullers.

If I see you around after that,

I'm gonna arrest you.

( suspenseful theme playing)

I ain't no gunslinger, marshal.

I can't draw with
you at 20 paces.

But I can use a rifle.

And I will.

I'll shoot you in
the back if I gotta.

So you better
watch every corner,

every window, every door.

'Cause I'll be there.

Somewhere.

I'll get you.

You got till dark, Cullers.

If I see you after that,
I'll be coming for you.

You come,

I'll kill you.

( ominous theme playing)

He's crazy. He's really crazy.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think you're right.

He means it, Matt. He'll
shoot you in the back.

I got eyes in the
back of my head.

Just let me know
if he comes back.

( ominous theme playing)

(clatter)

(gunshot)

( tense theme playing)

Who is it, marshal?

His name's Cullers.

(grunting)

Take it easy, Cullers.

Marshal, I... I've been shot.

Well, you're not gonna
die. Doc'll take care of you.

You're lucky whoever
used that shotgun

wasn't 10 yards closer.

CHESTER: Mr. Dillon?
Over here, Chester.

Get him up. (men grunting)

Take him over to
Doc's office, will you?

You see who did this, Cullers?

No, I didn't see nobody.

But I could tell you
who it was, though.

You heard her.

Kitty. She said she
was gonna do it.

With a shotgun too.

Well, that was just talk.

Talk?

You saw my back.

Well, I wouldn't blame
her if she did do it, Cullers.

You brought this
whole thing on yourself.

You're lucky you weren't killed.

Now, where'd the shot come from?

Over there by that tree.

All right, Chester,
take him over, will you?

Give him a hand.

CULLERS: Ooh, easy. Oh.

All right, now, the rest of you
folks just move along, will you?

Come on, Moss.

MOSS: Them look like the
prints of a woman's shoe.

Yeah. (footsteps approaching)

KITTY: Matt?

Kitty.

How long you been here?

I heard the shot
and came running.

I was afraid Cullers had...

That's funny, I didn't
hear you come up.

Why didn't you say something?

You were over there with
him, and there was a crowd.

Matt, you don't think
I did this, do you?

What were you doing around
here anyway during working hours?

I just went for a walk.

A walk?

Since when did you start that?

Tonight.

I just felt like it, and
I haven't got an alibi.

Kitty, Cullers was
shot with a shotgun.

By a woman.

Just like I said I'd do.

Just like you said you'd do.

And a lot of people heard you.

Aw, Kitty, why'd you have

to take a thing like
this on yourself?

You shoulda come to me first.

(scoffs)

Well, I knew there were plenty
of so-called respectable people

in Dodge that would
jump at a chance like this,

but I didn't think
you would, Matt.

Look at these.

Those are women's footprints.

They look a lot like yours.

They fit exactly.

There are plenty of
other women in Dodge

who wear shoes, you know.

Kitty, go on back to my
office and wait for me, will you?

Matt, are you gonna
make me say it?

Do you want me to
say that I didn't do it?

Well, I'm not gonna say it.

You just have to believe me.

Look, Kitty, it doesn't
matter what I believe.

I gotta be able to
prove it legally...

to all those respectable people.

Go on back to my office and
give me a chance, will you?

( tense theme playing)

( ominous theme playing)

Well, beats me, Mr. Dillon.

They just disappeared, the
whole kit and caboodle of 'em.

Yeah, and took all
their luggage too.

What about that Indian
girl, Moss? Who is she?

Darned if I know.

She never said.

They was a strange bunch.

All I know is that they
paid cash for their room.

(hoofbeats approaching)

Whoa, now.

Whoa.

Mind telling me
where you're going?

That any business
of yours, marshal?

Well, since Cullers
has been shot, yes.

Well, we're going
for him now to get him

and take him home.

Doc'll need more time with him.

Well, we'll be taking him
home directly, anyways.

DILLON: All right.

I'll ride up to Doc's with
you, if you don't mind.

Go get Kitty and bring
her up to Doc's, will you?

Yes, sir.

You ever handle a shotgun, miss?

Blossom don't
talk much, marshal.

Yeah, so I see.

Hyah! Let's go!

( somber theme playing)

Where is he, marshal?

Well, Doc's probably got him in
the back room patching him up.

Can I see him?

In a minute. First I wanna...

Hello, Kitty.

Matt.

This the one, marshal?

Yes, this is Miss Kitty.

Yeah.

I can see why.

But she refused to marry him.

She did?

Kitty, this is Nettie Batcher,
Cullers' housekeeper.

And this is Blossom.

I still don't know who she is.

You never told me if you
handled a shotgun, miss.

Maybe you'd tell me if you had
some reason to shoot Cullers.

Maybe you didn't
want him to get married.

Or maybe you thought
it oughta be you.

Was that it?

No.

But you did shoot
him, didn't you?

Yes, I did it.

Blossom, stop it.

I did it. It was me. No!

Why'd you do it?

I did it. I had to.

Marshal, leave her alone.

Blossom's his daughter.

She didn't do it.

She's only trying to protect me.

You?

Twenty years I been with him.

Cleaning his house,
cooking his food,

raising his kids, nursing
his crippled old ma.

And all them years he
kept saying he'd get married

when his ma died.

You thought he meant you.

Who else would have him?

Him and his crazy ways.

I didn't believe he'd ever
find a girl to marry him.

I didn't believe it,

even when he said he had.

If you didn't believe it,
why'd you shoot him?

Didn't aim to kill him.

I just wanted to...

hurt him some.

He never looked at me.

Twenty years, he
never looked at me.

But I'm sorry, now, I...

Oh, marshal, can I see him?

I'll see.

Matt.

Doc.

Yeah?

How's he look?

He... Like a ham full of cloves.

Did you find out who did it?

Yeah.

There's a lady outside
wants to talk to him.

Is it all right if I let her in?

Does she have to?

Yeah, she has to.

Well, all right,
but you stay here.

I don't want any
trouble in here.

All right, ma'am.

Ah.

Hello, Nettie.

Nip, I... Nip, I'm
sorry I done it.

You?

You done it?

Well, it made me mad.

You going off trying to
marry some other woman.

It made you mad? Why?

NETTIE: After 20
years of waiting,

you ask me that?

Nettie...

you been waiting for me?

Ever since I come to work
for you after your wife died.

Why, you never told me that.

It ain't for a
woman to speak up.

Well, you sure
never did till tonight.

You sure spoke up tonight.

Hold your tongue for 20 years...

(chuckling): and then...

blow me up with a shotgun.

You're quite a woman, Nettie.

Quite a woman.

Funny I never noticed that.

You ain't looked
at me in 20 years.

I'm looking at you now.

Doc,

there's not gonna
be any trouble here.

No. No, there's not.

(door closes)

How is he?

Well, looks like you just
lost yourself a bridegroom.

Is he dead?

DILLON: No, he's
very much alive.

He's alive enough
to marry Nettie.

Took her 20 years
and a little buckshot,

but she finally landed him.

Twenty years. That's
an awful long time.

I don't know whether
I could wait that long.

Little buckshot, huh?

Now, wait a minute.

What's the matter, you scared?

Come on, I'll buy you a drink.

(chuckles)

( upbeat theme playing)

(door closes)

( upbeat theme playing)

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