Gullak (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Saparivaar - full transcript

Hello. I am Ravish Kumar.

Today I am going to show you the
bioscope of our economical condition.

The benefit of bioscope
is that you can closely watch

who is lying about the economical
condition of our country

and who is speaking the truth.

Things appear lucid when
you see it in flashback.

There are so many statements

Watch what you are doing.

That's why when you
will go in flashback

you will understand
who is saying what.

There are several economists in India.



There will be more in the future.

Everybody has built their own model.

I would like to remind
you of one such unique model.

It's useless to bang the remote.
Go and bang the TV.

You can build an economy of billions.

Come. Let's start
bioscope with flashback.

Whenever you look in flashback

you should thank
late Manmohan Desai.

He was a great director.

Papa turns on the TV.

After the interval
he would become Vinod.

That means, everything changes.

Not everybody can speak anything.

Only a few people can speak anything.



Ecosystem means..

It doesn't matter.

You don't watch news.
You only listen to it.

It's fine for listening.

It's good that the TV broke down.

Under this pretext we will get a new TV.

Yes.

A 40 inch LCD TV costs Rs.15000.

Papa, nowadays we get LED bulbs.

At least buy a HD TV.

- What do you mean by HD?
- High definition.

When Rohit Sharma hits a six
the ball appears like a football.

- What are you saying?
- Yes.

Listen. Shall we buy it?
What do you say?

- Yes, mom.
- Say something new.

What do you mean?

A house loan also
terminates in 24 years.

This is still a TV.

Has it been 24 years to our marriage?

I don't know about marriage.

But my dowry has completed 24 years,
Mr. Mishra.

- I know you had brought dowry with you.
- Yes?

When? Really?

You just tell me what you want.

He talks on the phone the whole day.

And he returns home late at night.

What time did he return yesterday?

Papa, as usual I was
studying till late night.

He entered the house like a thief.

When I was about to scream,
he stuffed a sweet ball in my mouth.

And said it's God's offering.
It will help me in my board exams.

From where did he bring
sweet balls at midnight?

He brings four sweet
balls every night.

He has become the priest's right hand.

And he is the one who has organized

the recital of 'Akhand
Ramayana' in the temple.

Yes. 'Sunderkand'
is being recited outside.

And 'Lanka Kand' inside the house.

Is he under the impression
that he is ideal man Lord Ram?

You are telling me suddenly.
What if I have made some plans?

It's a long planning.
I will tell you later.

One week.

One week is a long time.

No! No! I will try! Why won't I try?

If it's about you, I will have to try.

Yes. Fine.

Okay. Someone is calling me.
Yes. Fine. Bye.

Who is that?

Where?

- It's me.
- No. You are here, son.

But whose call was it?

- Who is the girl?
- It must be the Hariya girl.

- Whose daughter is she?
- It's Ranu.

Ranu from flat number 7?

Are you mad? Shall I slap you?

Sister Ranu's marriage has been fixed.
She has invited us.

- Huh?
- Yes.

- When is her marriage?
- After two weeks.

- What?
- Our Ranu's marriage.

Our Ranu's marriage.

- Yes, Lucky.
- Wow!

Yes. Tell me.

So soon?

Can't you wait for a few days?

No. I have to go for Ranu's marriage.

Not Awasthi. My sister.

I am her brother.

Nobody else besides me
can sprinkle water on her hand.

Otherwise I would have tried.

Won't Tyagi wait?

No. I need it.
I need the license of gas agency.

Do one thing.
Talk to him. See if he can wait.

Tell him to wait for a week.

She is the last
daughter in our family.

We will have to go for her marriage.

Mom, when I used to go
to granny's house in childhood

sister Ranu used
to take me to the fair.

Won't I attend her marriage?

Wonder why Pinky didn't tell us.

Yes. Pinky didn't tell us.

Uncle Pinky will have
to spend a lot of money.

Yes.

He will conduct the
marriage with great pomp.

'Wedding. Of a relative.'

'That too uncle's family.'

'I hope you understand the
seriousness of the situation.'

'You see, in our country marriage takes
place not only between two people.'

'Or two families.'

'But it involves all the
families related to that family.'

'Now one uncle can drape
a veil and dance like a firefly.'

'Another uncle can act like
a fish in his drunken stupor.'

'Aunt could sulk badly.'

'All relations are weighed
on the scale of religion.'

'The CT scan of status is conducted.'

'You see, fuss was created
in Lord Shankar's marriage too.'

'They are still humans.'

We bought these for Ranu...

I know that scoundrel.

Wonder whether he has
mentioned the amount or not.

Pinky is an old fraud.

Tell me. He is still taking revenge.

He has sent a message through my son.

Instead of calling me up personally.

Do you ever receive his call?

Has he done anything that
I should receive his call?

I admit that I don't receive his call.

He could have given a missed call.

There are so many
people in our country

who give a missed
call just to apologize.

When someone's daughter gets married..

He sends an envelope
with auspicious rice.

And see this scoundrel.

He told the priest to call you up.
And you got ready too.

- Why won't I get ready?
- Why?

I have accepted the responsibility.

The priest was
explaining things to me.

When someone's daughter gets married
he calls up everybody personally.

The girl who is getting married
called up your son personally.

She is a kid.

She is going to get married
after 10 days. She is not a kid.

She is a kid.
She was really excited.

She told me on the phone
that everybody has to come.

- Marriage takes place only once.
- Yes.

- Everybody gets married only once.
- Look.

No, son. Nowadays people
get married twice or thrice.

Huh? Talk positively.

Fine.

Talking nonsense.

How many guests are coming?

Papa, 15 Boleros, 20 Qualis, 4 SUVs

5 top model Magic.

500 guests are coming.
The priest told me on the phone.

- Is that so?
- Yes.

Pinky will have to
incur heavy expenses.

Mom... uncle Pinky has
buried money under the ground.

- Is that so? - Yes.
- Did he dig and show you?

Okay. Tell me something.

Your informer

- Priest.
- Yes. Exactly.

Did he tell you where those
500 guests will be staying?

Papa, in Bhadohi.
Kishan Adarsh Rastriya Inter College.

- Yes.
- It's lying vacant.

Everybody will leave
from there for the hotel.

Which hotel has Pinky booked?

It must be written on the card.

- Where is the card?
- It's coming.

When will it come?

- Anytime.
- Why hasn't it arrived yet?

Papa, why do you act
like a CBI officer on Sunday?

It's a card.
It will arrive like a card.

Sister Ranu called up and invited us.

Let's make preparation to leave.
Why are you arguing so much?

Papa, sister Ranu
had told me in childhood.

That she will hire a DJ during
her marriage. And we will dance.

Yes. You must have been
really smart in childhood.

Mr. DJ.

It will be expensive.

How expensive?

We have to gift a sari.
I already have it.

A ring. A pair of Titan watches.

A stove. A few vessels.

If we have any silver or brass
vessel, we will gift it.

It's important to
write the cash amount.

You have already opened
the register for that.

What register?

- Cash register.
- What is that?

Don't you know that?

Cash register means revenge register.

Father. Grandfather. Brother.
Grandpa. Granny. Uncle. Aunt.

Brother-in-law.
Sister-in-law. Half wife.

Biological and step relatives.
Be it family or just one person.

The cash register takes
revenge on everybody's behalf.

Did you understand?

- No.
- You are a moron.

I will explain.

It's sister Ranu's marriage.

He will check the
cash register to see

that last time how much
cash uncle Pinky's family

had given our family
during any function

like marriage or wedding or naming
ceremony or baby shower ceremony.

We will give exactly a rupee more than
that and thus play the game of revenge.

If uncle Pinky wants
to continue the game

he will have to give
one rupee more than that..

During any of our family function
and thus end the game with a tie.

In other words,
cash register is the biggest gamble

that's played in the
world with just one rupee.

- Did you understand?
- No.

The total bill is
Rs.20000 including cash.

Add another Rs.4000 for your suit.

For how long will you dry clean
your wedding suit and wear it?

No. I will wear it
as long as it's wearable.

It's not Draupadi's sari
that you are stretching it so much.

You even got socks
made from its pockets.

- Buy a new suit this time.
- Yes. You are the bride's uncle.

- You should look handsome.
- Yes.

We have only one niece.

And my salary is limited.

Papa, we will talk to jeweler Pappu.

We will fix a monthly amount.

- Could anybody bind me till date?
- I am talking about jewelry.

Repay it in monthly installments.

Papa, the tailor will come tomorrow.

- You and I will get a nice suit stitched.
- What about me?

You will wear your school uniform.
You got it new this year.

Focus on your board exam.

What has my board exam
got to do with clothes?

Your time will be wasted
if you get new clothes stitched.

He has got pre board exam.

In pre board exam you
get 5% less than board exam.

His height is also short.
Assume that you will get 10% less.

- I am 5'6 feet tall.
- Shall I show you your height?

- Okay. Enough.
- Leave it.

You tease him a lot.

Who is it?

Mom, go and see.

- Go and see!
- Moron!

I was saying... leave him.

- See this.
- Yes. This one.

Mom!

Sister Ranu's wedding card.

- Is it?
- That's so quick.

Did Pinky send it through a pigeon?

Look. He saved his money.

Papa.

Look.

He has sent it through speed post.

- It's really lovely.
- Yes.

It's a pretty color.

Pinky's choice is good.

It mustn't be his choice.
It must be sister Ranu's choice.

Pinky is like that
since his childhood.

- Lord Ganesha's image is so pretty
on the card. - It's costly too.

Yes.

Who spends money? Pinky.

Lord Ganesh's image is so good.

Isn't it?

'What do you think?'

'Why did Mr. Mishra's expression
change after seeing the card?'

'Guess. Try it.'

'Just try.'

'You didn't understand.'

'Along with family.'

'Yes. Along with family
is not written on the card.'

'A small town is small only in name.'

'But here, people have inflated ego.'

'In the near future if United
Nation invents something'

'called ego index, '

'then our country will
always be at the top.'

"Sometimes,
as easy as games of children."

"Sometimes it gets
difficult and taxing."

"Simple and yet twisted."

"But we did hold on."

"Sometimes slick,
sometimes it slacked."

"Sometimes a bit low
and then high stacked."

"A mellow sweetness
that would dissolve."

"Or a touch of spice!"

"Such is life.
A collection of memories."

"Such is life.
A collection of memories."

It doesn't have the capacity.

On the other hand, two reservoirs

or tanks, as they are called, also broke.

The entire town got flooded.

Rescue operation
had to be carried out.

Papa.

Papa.

Please listen.

- What is it?
- Why are you sulking, papa?

It's just that 'Along with
family' is not written on it.

Sister Ranu had called. The priest
also spoke to me. What else?

- The priest is a servant.
- The priest is their driver.

They mustn't have any servant at home.
That's why they have called you.

You are idle.
Go and work as their servant.

A brother has to work
during his sister's marriage.

Brother mustn't have seen the card.
He must have been busy.

Brother!

Not brother. Say fraud.

He had thrown fake notes
at my sister's wedding.

You have already taken
your revenge for it.

It's been 15 years to that incident.

Forget it. He is your relative.

Had he not been my relative, I would
have strangulated him that day itself.

Hey papa!

A Scorpio is fast.
And a scooter is slow, Mr. Mishra.

Mom..

What does the groom do?

Baburam Tiwari and Sons.

Wholesale dealer of firecrackers.

Palash Tiwari is their only son.

But Ranu was having
an affair with a watch guy.

The watch guy's time was bad.
Uncle Pinky didn't approve of him.

She had an affair with the watch guy.

And she is marrying
the firecracker guy.

Is Pinky forcing Ranu to marry him?

Rich people are quite deceptive, son.

No, papa. Sister Ranu was very happy.
She told me.

- Is that so?
- Mom.

The font is so good.

Look, uncle has done laser printing.

You know a lot about laser printing.

Read it.

It's an invitation
sent with lots of love.

O lovely swans.

Don't forget to come.

Papa, he didn't mention
'Along with family'.

Moreover, he has invited swans.

- Read further.
- I am reading.

The venue.

Rajput resort.

Wazidpur Tiraha.

Rajput. Behind Vanvihar.

Yes. That's what written.

Papa, it's a 3-star hotel.

- There is a swimming pool too.
- Is that so?

Look. It's crystal clear.

It's a 3-star hotel.

Per plate rate must be high.

If he invites the entire family,
he will have to spend more money.

It's simple.

Papa, how much must be per plate rate?

It must be more than Rs.1000.

500 guests are coming.

Papa, catering itself costs 50 lakhs.

Why do you add so many zeros?
Deduct it.

- Annu, you read it.
- Give me.

Hoping to see you there.

Chunnu Mishra. Munnu Mishra.
Gunnu Mishra.

Annu Mishra.
And entire Mishra family.

- Look. Your son's name is mentioned.
- Yes.

Fine. You and your son can
go to face disgrace.

Arrange chairs. Carry gas cylinder.
Spread mats.

What do I care? Go.

Papa, I have given commitment.

Son, if you have the
face of a supporting actor..

..then you shouldn't
recite a superstar's dialogue.

What?

Aman

tell him to give me his phone.

- Why?
- Tell him my phone's memory is full.

- So?
- Tell him I want to call up aunt.

Give it to him.

He gave it.

Can't you make calls
if the phone's memory is full?

He duped you.

His phone's balance
must have got over.

Now he will finish
off your phone's balance.

He is just like his uncle.

Both of them are frauds.

Yes. Hello.

It's brother Annu. It's not Aman.

Give the phone to aunt.

Come on. Why do you
answer everybody's phone?

Bro, next time I come,
I will bring lollipop for you.

And toy gun and balloon too.

Hello. This is brother Aman.

Give the phone to aunt.
See, he will give it now.

Yes. Give her the phone.

Put the speaker on.

Yes, aunt.
Hello.

Did you receive sister
Ranu's wedding card?

Put the speaker on.
I also want to talk.

Aunt, I am putting the speaker on.
Here. Mom is also here.

Yes. I got the card.

Whose name is written on the card?

What do you mean by
whose name is written?

Your uncle's name is written.

What is written in front of the name?

The pin code is written
in front of the name.

What is written above
the pin code, aunt?

Our address is written
above the pin code.

Ram Raiya.
Post Guljarganj.

What is written between the
address and the pin code, aunt?

There is a comma between
the address and the pin code.

Are you dim-witted?

- Annu!
- Talk to mom.

Manju, is 'Along with family'
written on the card or not?

Yes. Yes. It's written.

Is this something to ask, sister?

'Along with family'
will obviously be written.

Yes.

'Along with family'
is written on your card.

Whereas only Annu's papa's
name is written on our card.

And the person whose
name is written on the card

has to attend the marriage.

Even if 'Along with family'
had not been mentioned

we would have still
gone for the marriage.

It's our niece's marriage.
You are over thinking.

Hello.
Sister.

- Annu.
- Yes, aunt Manju. I will call you back.

Hello. I am Ravish Kumar.

[News Playing on the TV]

[News Playing on the TV]

Is uncle Pinky still
taking revenge from him?

What would he have
lost if he had written

'Along with family' on the card?

He is so busy.

One has to personally write
cards for one's relatives.

Seems like he told one
of his workers to write the card.

Yes. Uncle Pinky did the right thing.

Poor man has studied till 5th grade.

What else can we expect from him?

How could he have written
the card personally?

If he couldn't write personally,
he could have at least called up.

At least the person whose
name is mentioned can go.

Shall we call up Pinky?

Do you think he will go?

He is extremely furious.

He won't move from there
even if God calls him.

Mom, I am really scared.

What if papa harms himself?

- Papa!
- Keep your mouth shut.

Crazy fellow.

[ringtone]

Uncle Pinky didn't write 'Along
with family' on the card, Ranu.

Yes. I know. Give the phone to uncle.

Ranu.

He is watching TV.

Aunt Manju told me everything.

I will say sorry to uncle.

Dear, he has shut the door.

Tell him that it's Ranu's call.

Papa, Ranu wants to talk to you.

Sorry.

She is saying sorry.

Why are you thinking
about the old enmity, uncle?

Papa is scared of you.

He pretends to be brave.

But if you come in front of him

his plight will be the
same as it was 10 years ago.

I remember that wedding really well.

When he threw money at
your face you didn't keep quiet.

You carried my papa and
threw him in the gutter.

No, dear.

I taught him a nice lesson.

Your father Pinky

threw fake money on my face
during my sister's marriage.

That's why I got angry, dear.
It's nothing else.

Whatever it is.

Will you vent out all
your anger on my wedding?

No, dear. I am not angry with you.

It's nothing like that, dear.

I wanted to

know something, dear.

Yes?

Tell me the truth. Okay?

Place your hand on your heart.

Pinky didn't write on
the card purposely, right?

'Along with family'

Forget it.

- You simply come.
- No, dear. You are under my oath.

You will have to tell me.

Hey!

He did it purposely.

But I didn't know.

Okay. Forget that.

I am sending a new card with
'Along with family' written on it.

All of you have to come. That's it.

Okay. I have to leave because
the makeup lady is waiting

And I have to apply
henna on my hands too.

You have to come.

What did I say?

Come on.

Call your tailor now.

Not mine, yours.

Why? Why not yours?

Uncle is very rich.

He will get many boys
like me to do his work.

He can get the work done
and make the arrangements too.

But papa,
the firecrackers that I had booked

he won't find anything like that.

Let me see how many crackers
burst during Ranu's marriage.

I am idle.

But I am not useless.

Hey son! What..

I have my board exams.

I also won't be able to go.

As it is, my name is not written along
with Chunnu, Munnu, Gannu Mishra.

Pinky did the wrong thing.

I didn't know my brother will do that.

Why are you..

If the kids stay here who
will look after them?

Now I don't even feel
like attending the wedding.

What..

Oh man!

'I must say.'

'By not attending the marriage,
Mishra family'

'has killed not two, but
two and a half birds with one stone.'

'Papa killed the first bird.'

'It's a girl's marriage.
Somebody will have to go.'

'This ritual needs to
be followed beautifully.'

'Mom killed the second bird.'

'Uncle Pinky will
remember it all his life.'

'That his own sister didn't
attend his own daughter's wedding.'

'Annu Mishra killed
the remaining half bird'

'at the end moment
by changing his stance.'

'So the one who had
to do chores at the wedding'

'is looking for a job.'

'And the one who had
to attend all functions'

'right from musical function
to seeing off the bride'

'that mother is cooking
kidney beans in the kitchen.'

'And the father who didn't
want to go in the first place'

'will wear Nehru coat
and do snake dance.'

'That's how the great
Indian middle-class family'

'safeguarded its ego beautifully'

'and once again took
revenge from its relatives.'

'That too along with the family.'