Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 6, Episode 7 - Happy Halloween: Part 1 - full transcript

The Seavers spend Halloween at home, sharing scary stories.

You heard it from Mike?

Where's all the candy we're going to hand out.

We got, we haven't need to share since nobody's going to be home.

Well, I'm not trick or treating.

I'm going to be home.

Oh, Whoa, Chris, what a great costume.

Hey great.

Prosthesis exits are frightening.

If I were you I'd lay off the chocolate.

I can't Chris.

I got to go pick up Eddie and then we're going to a party with mom and dad.



We all are

96.

97 98 times yesterday.

Shiver me timbers.

It's kept, you know, Jason, you haven't said a word about my daughter's beard.

Well, she's a little young, even for the women in your family.

Hey, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

I gotta get a picture.

What all are trick or treaters in the picture?

What is it with you?

People.

I am not wearing a costume and I have not painted fakes.

It's on my face.

You have your prescription and I don't trick or treat.



I haven't gone to self as a child.

Yeah.

Last Halloween.

I was really trick or treating.

I was out toilet paper at houses.

Then I distinctly remember you saying, like showing her breasts?

Nevermind.

Carols chip.

Oh, my whip.

That's a little low cut.

I can't even raise my arms.

Whoops.

What are you supposed to be?

Oh, I'm supposed to be a woman who wants to be noticed for her brain and not her body go.

We'll see.

I'm kidding.

It's just a costume for Halloween party with a great blind date.

Well, if you have met him, how do you know he's great?

Well, because the friend of mine who set it up, told this guy, I had a below average IQ and used to be.

So what happens when he finds out you're an intelligent woman of substance.

Don't worry.

I'm not gonna do anything wild.

I never do anything wild on how to do anything.

Wild.

It's a tragedy of what I am.

It's good to hear.

I'm going to wait for this stood outside.

So what were we talking about before Kira?

Hey Ben.

Hey,

we got married, had kids.

Oh, crazy.

That's not nice.

Our neighborhood will do just fine.

You know what the house is, run here.

We're going for

store

Show me that smile

light up with

outside.

at this time of year.

No man.

We only use new toilet paper.

What are you doing with all that toilet paper?

Um, I was going to hand it off to the trick-or-treaters.

Ben is not handing toilet paper out and trick or treat he's using that to vandalize.

Right.

Ben.

You got that right.

If you're not going to help out here, just don't say anything crazy.

Anywhere.

I wasn't

tell him I'll be right down.

Don't miss anything about me being a fine intelligent woman or crap like that.

do you want to have a special Halloween?

Like.

You said the first Thanksgiving?

Yes, he did.

But, uh, on the boat on the way over was Halloween,

I never heard that.

Tell you everything in preschool, they're afraid to get bored and drop out.

You're saying they had Halloween on the Mayflower.

You haven't heard of this either.

I think this speaks very badly for the public education system.

Yes.

That's why we have pumpkins on Halloween and on Thanksgiving we have pumpkin pie.

Oh my God.

We do.

Don't we?

So I thought with all the rain tonight would be a great night to have the old Pilgrim Halloween.

What did they do?

Oh, well they didn't try the paper houses.

Did they?

Then I use leaves who they told scary stories.

Oh, this is one of those families.

really scary story.

Horrible.

Scary.

This is a little young for this

who wants to go first?

Okay.

I will.

Let's set a little mood here.

We been to save a little electricity, so be it.

Oh yes.

Halloween night, as I recall.

And I much like this, it was about the same age as your Mike is.

Right.

Even looked like him.

The job of handing out candy to trick or treaters fell to me that year because pop was at his men's club, having a lengthy meeting about their secret handshake.

And my mom was leaving to visit a sick relative in Buffalo.

This plane ticket cost me $39 and uncles.

They better be on his death bed.

I'm sorry, Jason.

Money's not important in Zeke's my favorite uncle after all he has lingered, so I could purchase my ticket 30 days in advance.

Excursion, right.

Seats limited.

Certain restrictions apply.

And the cost of the ticket is nonrefundable.

That's my boy.

Oh honey.

I'm sorry.

You're left alone.

Halloween will be ruined for you.

Oh no, no it won't.

My good friend, Jerry Rome is coming over here and we're having a Pilgrim kind of Halloween resourceful.

Yeah, we're also turning off all the lights.

That way we'll have no trick-or-treaters and we can save all that candy money.

I don't want to miss my flight.

Okay.

And remember, bring back some of those peanuts from the plane.

Well, I think I'll watch some TV.

Am I saying we don't have a TV.

We're holding out for color.

Hi Jace.

You want to go toilet paper, some houses, not only would that be vandalization that wouldn't be thrifting.

Excuse me, that was outside

where there were compliance officer.

Oh no.

What if they're you're seeking in diligent light.

You got nothing to worry about.

I'm sure there's a very rational, scientific explanation for all of this.

It's probably Marsh gas.

I said, excuse me,

there's probably just some kids out wanting some candy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

Jason.

Mom,

mom, what are you doing here?

Coffee.

I must have coffee.

You came all the way back and get a cup of coffee, mom.

You're missing your flight at $39 down the drain for a cup of coffee.

It's very good coffee talking crazy.

Not to Nick.

I see you've gotten into my coffee, my second cup.

That's funny.

He never has a second cup of my coffee.

What am I thinking?

He doesn't bring cough.

what are you doing?

Feeding my face.

Save some for me.

Oh, this is weird.

This is luck.

Oh, you'll feel differently after you have a nice cup of coffee on your pants.

Go figure.

Are you crazy?

I couldn't tell you officer crosswalks, you understand?

So the terrible's happening.

My mom and my best friend have yellow eyes and they're drinking down their pants.

Wait a minute.

I find this a little hard to believe.

Your mother wears pants.

What flying sauce.

This all started with the flying saucer.

Maybe they have invaded.

Maybe the aliens have taken over my mom and my best friend.

Take it easy.

Ken, if you keep talking crazy like this, I'm going to have to shoot you and playing a weapon.

It's an old capture.

Look, you don't understand.

What's talking about flames thinking saucers here.

We're talking about those nearest and dearest to me.

Put on my soul to you.

call headquarters.

Look, I need jail space, better invading our neighborhood.

nowhere to turn.

And then I thought of, he always knew what to do and best of all, he only drank decaf.

if there's no objection to the report from the committee on committees and then it's will be adopted as read.

So, so done.

We got to get out of here before they get us them.

Jason, you're interrupting a very important meeting here on the committee for male bonding, aliens from outer space have invaded people's bodies and they've got mom, Oprah, Shaw, glad your mom's on her way to Buffalo.

She threw away her plane ticket and said that money doesn't matter.

Let's not your mother.

Exactly.

Believe me.

Pop you buy son.

I believe you.

Oh, thank God gentlemen.

We have a serious problem here, but my son has discovered aliens among us.

Yeah, we've got a warden, the whole rest of the country.

Good thinking Pickering.

You're in charge.

We're up to warn.

The president will go.

Even if we have to drive all night here, I know I can count on your pop.

And if we have to drive all night, we'll need plenty of coffee.

Oh, you're not going anywhere.

So not until you have a cup of God.

do much better if you join it.

No, no, never.

Join us.

Join us.

Whoops, Jason, wasn't your story?

A little too intense for the children.

I'm a professional psychiatrist.

Negative.

I think I know what kids can handle.

They know their neighbors are doing reality and fantasy.

So then did the president believe your story?

What did you think Chrissy.

I think Halloween isn't hunting.

Well, if you really helped me to make it stop raining.

Oh, sweetheart.

You're going to forget all about the rain.

When you hear my story.

Because it's not merely entertaining.

It's educational as well.

So yeah, you're going to suffer through this with the rest of it.

And I mean, suffering in that zany kind of family wedding.

Okay.

Chrissy.

This is a story about a girl, a perfect little girl, just like you.

One evening went trick or treating with her mom, a wonderful woman who was warm and caring and loads of fun, just like me.

So she rang the bell of this house with walls made of, um, what's that stuff called?

No, not stuck.

No outside and it's, it's like cited, but different.

Maybe nothing's like citing, but different Jason, who's telling this story.

Nobody right now.

Shingles, you should.

Yeah, I I'm sure shingles.

No.

Yeah,

well, yeah, natural for you.

My little arm.

And

I'm so glad I took every spare moment of the last six months making that costume.

I've got to come statue.

Pop honey, do it for mother,

sweetheart.

This is almost as much candy as last mommy.

Candy for a hug, honey, you don't need to trade a thing.

It's a beautiful, warm, loving world.

Now I don't need any of this candy until we have an x-ray

and the mother thought to herself.

What kind of a mother was she?

She forgot to kiss her daughter.

Goodnight.

What kind of a mother am I.

I forgot to kiss.

My daughter could night

and why was it in danger?

Because you didn't listen to me.

You see, we, mom, she'd always be listened to because when we have feelings of danger, you can bet that we're right on the money.

You could do yourself a favor as could all children, if you could only somehow.

Hear what I have to say, listen, to respect and appreciate your mom.

She's the only one you'll ever have.

I'm starting to get an idea of what you're writing for it.

Hasn't taken off.

Don't be so rude.

Your mother's story was very bedhead.

I was

calling to cancel.

Tell him I'm not here.

Hello.

Tell him about somebody incredibly.

Good-looking tell him I pity him for what he's missed.

I'll be waiting for your car.

It wasn't him.

You don't have to lie to protect me.

I'm okay.

I can handle this.

I'm not lying.

Well, why are you getting me so upset dad?

Wasn't Jason.

Nobody say, you know, what would make this evening?

Perfect.

Something in the kitchen, something in the kitchen.

Get off.

You're done.

Come on and follow me.

That was Eddie on the phone.

Mike was supposed to pick him up a half an hour ago and he isn't shown he hasn't well, maybe we should call.

As he got yellow eyes, I'm serious.

Okay.

Everybody, even though it's the middle of summer next week, you still get to see part two of our Halloween adventure and find out the answers to these questions.

Did Mike ever make it to Eddie's mommy?

Whatever happened to Carol's date?

Is he another loser?

Does mom get divorced?

The tears with another story?

This might get to Boris with another date with Kate and who's the mystery stranger.

Find out all the answers.

Next week