Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 5, Episode 12 - Carol's Promotion - full transcript

Carol: Hi mom.Hi dad.

Jason: Hey.

Carol: See ya.

Jason: Hey wait a minute, where are you going?

Carol: Work.

Maggie: This early?

Carol: Well, I promised my boss I would come in early so I could get off by 4 to make my freshman orientation at Columbia.

Jason: Oh, is that today?

Carol: Yeah, isn't that exciting? Well, I gotta go.

Maggie: Oh, honey, I remember how devastated you were when Columbia didn't have room for you last semester.

Carol: Yeah, well finally...



Jason: Yeah, I believe I said "Carol, why don't you use the downtime to take a job?" The next semester will be around before you know it.

Carol: I've actually enjoyed working.

Jason: Which I believe I've also predicted.

Carol: Well, it's time for Columbia university and I am ready.

Jason: Yep, yep, yep. Which is what exactly I knew she would...right.

Mr.Staffengero: Seaver, what are you doing here?

Carol: Mr.Staffengero, don't you remember that I said I'd come in early?

Mr.Staffengero: You mean nobody called you? staffengero

Carol: About what?

Mr.Staffengero: You don't work here anymore. staffengero

Carol: What? But I'm the best page break clerk in the department.

Mr.Staffengero: Not anymore. And before you go I'd like to say a few things.staffengero

Carol: Well, there are a few things I'd like to say too.You are not a very good boss.

Mr.Staffengero: What?



Carol: And somebody should tell you this because it might do you some good.You have major "BO" [body odor].And I'm not saying that because I'm getting fired.

Mr.Staffengero: You're not being fired, you're being promoted.

Carol: Have you been alone with yourself in an elevator? Pardon me?

Mr.Staffengero: Those punks in punctuation heard how good you are and they are stealing you to be their manager.

Carol: I'm a manager?

Mr.Staffengero: And do you know who told them all those good things about you?Your smelly ex-boss, that's who.

Carol: Well, you don't smell that bad.

Carol: Hello.

Secretary: Don't put me on hold again.I need more plans.My new manager is due here any second and his office has got to be perfect.I don't want to give him any excuses to fire me and bringing his own secretary, who he's probably having an affair with.

Carol: Excuse me I think I'm your new manager.

Carol: I am.

Secretary: Ever said anything to your boss that you've regretted?

Carol: Just, that he smelled bad.

Secretary: Oh, you worked for Mr.Staffengero.

Carol: So, which desk is mine?

Secretary: Are you kidding?Your office is right over there.

Carol: I have an office?

Carol: Ah, please call me Carol.

Secretary: Hi, I'm Leslie your secretary.

Carol: Oh, I'm sorry but I have my own secretary.He's pumping up at the gym today.I'm kidding.

Secretary: Oh wow, a boss with a sense of humor.

Carol: This is my office?

Secretary: Uh huh.You know, I expected a guy.They are always guys.

Carol: Really?

Secretary: Yeah.And none of them ever asked me to call them by their first name.Except once at a Christmas party, on the Xerox machine.If you need me just phone.

Carol: What should I do first?Should I learn my new job?Or call Mike and gloat?

Ben: I'm just asking if my grades stay up and if Gary's parents say it's okay and if I promise to obey the chaperon, would you have any objections to me going on a ski weekend?

Maggie: Oh, what's your father say?

Ben: He has no problems with it.

Maggie: Did you ask your father?

Ben: He has no problems with it.

Maggie: So, you didn't ask your father?

Ben: Well, I kind of figured that I start at the top and work my way down.

Maggie: Ok.

Jason: Hi Ben.Hi Christy.

Ben: Dad, you remember that ski trip that you said I could go on if mom said it was okay?She said okay.Yes.

Maggie: Hi.I've just been outsmarted by a 13 year old.

Jason: Well he got me too. It's tough to resist the little tyke when he looks at you and says "I'm starting at the top and working my way down."

Maggie: Ben.Don't start waxing those skis yet, young man.

Mike: Hi guys.Hey mom.Listen I have a paper due tomorrow so I'm going to get some dinner at take it up to our place, okay?

Mike: Ok.

Ben: But I told everybody I was going.

Maggie: When?

Ben: Yesterday.

Carol: You never believe what happened at work today.

Ben: Carol, we're in the middle of something very important here.

Jason: No, we're not.We are at the end of it

Carol: I got a promotion.I'm the manager of the punctuation department.

Maggie: Oh honey, that's wonderful.

Jason: Yes.So Carol were they disappointed at work when you told them you couldn't accept the promotion?

Carol: Why would I tell them that?

Jason: Because you're starting Columbia university in two weeks.

Carol: Right, right.

Maggie: How was the freshman orientation?

Carol: That was today wasn't it?

Jason: You didn't go?

Carol: I completely forgot.

Ben: I forgot too.Did you say I could or couldn't go?

Carol: Well I'll just catch my next orientation.I'll just have my secretary put it on my calendar.

Maggie: You have a secretary?

Carol: Uh hum.

Ben: And she owes it all to ski trips.

Mike: Hey Carol, listen, I have this paper due tomorrow and I wonder if you can look it over for me?

Carol: How much?

Mike: Oh, from the bottom of my heart.

Carol: No.How much are you going to pay me?

Mike: Pay you?Forget it.

Carol: Mike, I'll be washing my hair. Every minute you wait, the price goes up.

Mike: Yeah, who needs your help? I'm perfectly happy with a D.Hello? Okay, just a minute. Carol, for you. Some guy.

Carol: You expect me to fall for that?

Mike: I'm sorry.She doesn't know any guys.Well, she can't come to the phone right now.If you must know, she's in the can.

Carol: Is there really somebody on the phone?

Mike: Yeah, oh yeah.He says he's from your work.He says it's an emergency.

Carol: Well that's impossible.

Mike: You expect her to climb off the throne for that?

Carol: Mike.A $50,000 press run was set off to start tonight, but they needed my verbal okay.

Mike: Oh wow, a $50,000 press run?

Carol: Yes.

Mike: Oh man, I didn't know they printed money there.

Carol: Get out.

Mike: What did I say?

Carol: Out.

Maggie: Huh?Oh.Oh.

Jason: Did I tell you that it was a great book or what?

Maggie: I'm turning the pages and I can't put it down.

Jason: Did you get to the part yet where they found out that Mr.Shepard is just an Alias and he's really the dragon?

Maggie: He's the dragon?

Jason: Oh.Ah honey I'm sorry.

Carol: Am I interrupting something?

Maggie: Not tonight.

Carol: Well I want to talk to you about the right time to quit my job.

Maggie: Well honey it's customary to give about two weeks notice.

Carol: That's not what I meant.I don't think I want to quit.

Maggie: Oh wait a minute.Is this going to end up with you asking me if Ben can go on a ski trip?

Carol: Mom.I'm serious.I don't want to go to Columbia next semester.

Maggie: Not go to Columbia?You're kidding; with your grades and your scholarship and your dreams.

Jason: Hold on, honey, don't go off half-cocked here.Let her finish.

Maggie: Fine.I'll go off half-cocked then.

Carol: See, I was thinking.

Maggie: Thinking?And where do you get this behavior, huh?

Maggie: Your father understands.Jason will you give us a minute?OH.

Carol: Well you don't have to leave, just don't say anything.

Maggie: Fine.I'll just read a book.

Carol: Well, I know this was only supposed to be a temporary job, which was your idea and thank you.

Jason: You're welcome.

Carol: But with this promotion I'll get more time in the work force, which you've said was a good idea, and again thank you.

Jason: You're welcome.

Carol: But it'll only be for one more semester and Columbia will be waiting for me in the fall.So I don't see how a reasonable person like yourself could object.

Jason: Thank you.

Carol: You're welcome.

Jason: Well, Carol I know that getting a promotion and being entrusted with all this responsibility is pretty heavy stuff.

Carol: It is.

Jason: Now I'm sure you've asked yourself this, is this new job really worth putting 12 years of preparation on hold?

Carol: Well...

Jason: Because a lot of people, you know, once they lose sight of their goals they never quite get a fix on them again.

Carol: You think that's what I'm doing?

Jason: Do you?

Carol: Maybe.

Jason: Well, sweetheart it's your life and you got to make your own decisions and call your own shots.I just hate to see you lose your momentum for college.

Carol: You're right, I'll give my notice tomorrow.

Jason: Hey, no, no.Only if you want to.

Carol: I do.Thanks daddy.And thanks mom for not saying anything.

Jason: It's just a phase, sometimes they want to talk to the mom and sometimes they want to talk to the dad.Let's just be thankful she's just talking.

Maggie: Jason, the watchmaker did it.

Leslie: Good morning Carol.

Carol: Leslie, who's my boss?

Leslie: All department managers report to Mr.Littlefield.

Carol: Well could you tell him that I have to see him right away?

Leslie: It'll take weeks.

Carol: Well I can't wait.I'm going to Columbia in two weeks.

Leslie: You think that's wise with all that whole drugs thing going on down here?

Carol: Could you just call him?

Ray: Morning.I have the press run deadlines done for next week.

Carol: Oh, thanks Ray.

Ray: Sure.

Carol: Wait.What kind of a guy is Mr.Littlefield?

Ray: The VP?Oh, he's a great guy.

Carol: Yeah?Well how do you know him?

Ray: Last year we had a major screw-up and he came down and he reamed half of us and fired the other half.

Carol: So how's he a great guy?

Ray: I'm still here.

Leslie: Not only is Mr.Littlefield going to see you today, he's coming here now.

Carol: He is?You're kidding.

Leslie: You're more important than I thought.

Mr.Littlefield: Carry on, troops.You're Carol Seaver?

Carol: Yeah, Mr.Littlefield.

Mr.Littlefield: Please, please.I'm Warren.

Carol: I didn't expect you to come down here to see me.

Carol: Great call?

Mr.Littlefield: You saved us 50 grand by stopping that press run.The copy was not ready and you made the right decision.

Carol: Well, thank you.

Mr.Littlefield: I got my eye on you Carol.This is just the start of big things for you here.

Carol: Really?

Mr.Littlefield: Now, what was that urgent matter you wanted to talk with me about?

Carol: Well, see I, ah, well, this is my life and I have got to call my own shots and I am not quiting.

Mr.Littlefield: You're not?littlefield

Carol: No.

Mr.Littlefield: Oh.Well this has been a productive meeting.

Carol: Don't stare at me.

Ben: All the other kids are going to go skiing.

Jason: Well we're not all the other kids' parents.We're yours.

Mike: Benny, did you tell them about the hot tub?

Ben: Everything's going to be cool.Gary's older brother is home on leave from the navy and he's going to be watching us the whole time.

Maggie: A 19 year old sailor is not my idea of a chaperon.

Ben: [But the girls are going to think] I'm a total weenie.

Jason: Girls are going too?Are you too as shocked as I am?

Maggie: Hi, honey.How're you?

Carol: Dad, you're right.It's my life and I have to call my own shots.So I'm taking your advice, I'm keeping my job.Thank you.

Maggie: Carol.Hold on one minute, young lady.

Jason: Stay.

Maggie: Carol, don't you take another step.

Jason: I thought we covered this matter last night?

Maggie: Jason if you start reasoning again I swear I am going to go on that ski trip with the 19 year old sailor.

Carol: Mom, don't you understand that this was my decision to make?

Jason: Well maybe we've mis-communicated last night, Carol.

Carol: Not at all, did you or did you not say this is my life?

Jason: Yes.

Carol: And did you or did you not say that I have to call my own shots?

Jason: Well yes.

Carol: And did you or did you not say...

Jason: Did you or did you not say you were going to Columbia and quitting this job?

Maggie: Well we know it wasn't me.

Carol: I thought you trusted my judgement.

Jason: So did I.But since that didn't work I'm going to lay it out for you Carol.You're not dumping 12 years of preparation over some goofy job.

Carol: Goofy job?

Jason: Come on, Maggie, we've been counting on her.I mean, straight A's, class valedictorian, full scholarship to Columbia.And she's not going to throw it all down the drain, no over my dead body.

Maggie: Oh Jason you're not reasonable: I love you.

Jason: Thank you.Reason is my cover, inside I'm as wacko as you.

Maggie: Jason, I have never seen you like this.

Jason: What am I going to do, Maggie?I mean I'm never going to forgive myself if I don't graduate from Columbia.I mean if we don't, if she don't graduate, if her.Aw, you know what I mean.

Maggie: I'll go up and talk to her.

Ben: Dad.About this ski trip deal, I feel that I have to call my own shots here so...

Jason: Out, out, out, out.

Carol: Oh, I'm glad you're here.Here's my Columbia course catalogue.Please pick out my classes.I want to make sure there's no mis-communication.

Maggie: Carol, you can pick out your own classes.

Carol: Oh gee, I don't know if I'm up to that.

Maggie: Carol, I'd like a better attitude than this.

Carol: Whatever you want.

Carol: 4 ?.

Maggie: Yeah?You know, honey, just between us and if you ever repeat this I'll deny it.You have a gift that, frankly, your brothers don't have.There's so much you could do; you have so many opportunities.

Carol: Mom, people are reporting to me.I'm running a department.I've never had that.I mean, my first month there my hands shook everyday.And now people come to see me, little me, their hands shake.I'm not changing my direction.I'm finding it.

Maggie: This job's more important to you than school?

Carol: Yes.Right now.I mean sometimes I get the feeling that it wouldn't be me who'd be graduating from Columbia, it'd be you and dad.

Maggie: Oh, Carol.How can you... Look, just promise me that it will only be for one more semester.

Carol: Oh yeas, anything mom.Thank you.Wait, why are you being so reasonable?

Maggie: Well, you can't sleep with your father for 21 years and not catch a little something.You know what I mean.

Jason: If I were you, I'd hold off on that.Excuse me, I'm here to see Carol Seaver.

Leslie: Your name?

Jason: I'm her father, she invited me to lunch.

Carol: Dad, you're early.

Jason: Yes, well I drive fast when I'm tense.

Carol: Come in, come in.This is my office and these are all my...

Jason: So where are we going for lunch?

Carol: Anywhere, I just thought that if I could show you...

Jaosn: There's nothing you going to show me, Carol, that could change my mind.Is that why you invited me down for lunch then you've made a big mistake.

Carol: Well I just thought that if you came down here...

Leslie: Carol, they need you in cover layout.They said it's an emergency.

Carol: Well I can't, I...

Jason: Go ahead, go, go.I'll wait here.

Carol: Ok, I'll hurry.

Jason: Ah, hey, it's a cubicle.

Ray: Is the boss around?

Jason: Boss?

Jason: Oh, Carol?No, she just stepped out.

Ray: Oh darn it.I need her to sign these galleys.We've got a whole press run to go.

Jason: Well she'll be back, just leave it with me.

Ray: Can you be trusted?

Jason: What do you think?

Carol: Dad, I...

Jason: Oh hold on, hold here she comes.Sounds very important.

Carol: Look, dad, I know I'm not going to change your mind, I really don't want to get into an argument here.

Jason: You're the boss.

Carol: Yeah.

Jason: My little girl, imagine that.

Carol: Dad, I'm not following.

Jason: This isn't a goofy job, Carol.

Carol: Do you want some water?

Carol: What are you saying?

Jason: I'm saying I'm so proud of you.

Carol: So I don't have to quit?

Jason: You don't have...come on, oh, honey I was never going to force you.Maybe.

Carol: Oh, daddy, have I ever let you down?

Jason: No, no.I wish I could ask you the same question.

Carol: Oh daddy, thank you.And I promise next fall I'll be a freshman at Columbia just like you wanted.

Jason: No, you won't.

Carol: What?

Jason: No. I want you to go where you want to go. But I hope it's Columbia.

Carol: Deal.

Jason: Let's have lunch.

Carol: Ok.

Jason: Come on, I'm buying. Are you going to get my daughter's name on this door or are you going to sit here and gnaw on your salami?
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