Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 4, Episode 5 - Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? - full transcript

Then you seen grandma yet?

I'm not sure.

Usually it's sit a spotter, but every pointy on this boat as gray hair, relaxed, honey, I'm sure your mother had a great time.

Whoa.

When you see her bed.

No, but I do see a blonde Fox and really tight red dress.

She's kissing her old broad guy.

Hey.

Almost all the guys are gone.

The boats unloaded Maggie.

Where is she?



You know, she's never traveled alone.

I think maybe this is just too close to dad's funeral.

Honey.

A year of mourning is enough.

Maybe it's just too much for maybe I shouldn't have sent her on this cruise.

Oh, give her some credit, Jason.

She could take care of herself.

I should have listened when she said she'd rather just be at home, staring at the walls and remembering death.

Oh funny.

She didn't know what she was saying.

And she needed you to step in and take care of first.

Just say she can take care of herself, then you say it's a good thing.

I stepped in.

Let's have some consistency, Maggie.



I'm just saying to not get carried away, you know, Ethel Murphy.

Went through the, exactly the same thing as your mom, when she set sail on the love boat.

And she ended her cruise with gene Rayburn,

they canceled that show.

Oh, Jason, there she is.

The only woman on the gangway is that blonde.

Oh my God.

kiss your mother.

Great.

Well, I should, for what I paid for it.

Okay.

For what you paid for it.

Oh, you will get better looking every time I see you.

It's puberty, grandma.

Don't you ever say that nasty word again?

No.

Grandma,

come on you too.

The strong man, and then get my luggage.

It's that doubt Paisley said over there, whatever I can do.

Ma Irma, you look wonderful.

Maggie.

I feel wonderful.

Well, it must've been all that.

See here.

It could've been that.

Or, um,

you met a mate.

No.

I met my future husband.

Here we go.

I want to stop by your place first because I have some souvenirs, but the children,

she amazing.

She's laughing and smiling souvenirs for the kids.

And all the, while her heart is breaking.

Look at this.

Dad has this boat, the straighten up the house.

Well, Carol, first of all, I do not live here anymore.

Okay.

And second of all, what's the big deal.

I mean, it's just grandma coming over.

I mean, if she has never glasses on, she'll be lucky to find the cow.

Oh, they're here.

Okay.

You explain to dad why you couldn't do this?

Ruin a little favor for him.

Uh, one little favorite Carol.

For your information?

I had my whole Saturday plan.

Okay.

I mean, this was going to be a day of solid study and now I'm just expected to scrap my education waiting around grandma.

Hi, I'm confused.

I'm looking for Mike Seaver, but he said he lived in an apartment.

Hi.

Hey, listen.

Didn't you get my message?

No, um, I was in Brooks all morning.

Is that your major?

Listen, listen, we're going to have to put off tutoring from button.

I thought we were going to spend the whole day cramming.

Oh, you know, that's what I want to listen.

Why don't I take you out to my apartment where you can cool off from your workout while I take care of some business, it's out, back above the garage.

It's kind of a loft.

Mike, listen, after you're done cleaning up living room here.

Why don't you give the kitchen a once over cleaning lady?

Do you mind if I go take a shower?

Do I mind?

Oh, I insist on it.

can you send me if you asked me one more time, how I really feel about the cruise?

I'm going to take back that souvenir I gave you and Maggie.

Behavior.

So I sure don't want to lose, say Irma.

You haven't seen the baby in three whole weeks.

Why don't you and I go upstairs.

You can tell me all about your 12.

Want to give out my souvenirs.

Oh, you didn't happen to get me as some brow too.

Did you know honey?

I'm afraid I did a darn it all.

Anyway.

But wasn't that fun.

We were going to go upstairs, were going to tell me, Hey, wait, hold on, man.

You where's Mike.

He's cramming in his loft.

Okay.

Then when you're running to get him, please.

I understand it still, you really don't have to pretend anymore that you had a good time.

Oh, Jason, you are coming this close to losing that work of art.

Well, if you asked me or him, he just stepped over the line.

You should just take it back to teachers, Melissa, we can wait upstairs when waiting for grandma.

To Mexico.

Fabulous.

And for the millionth time, I mean it, I hear you living on your role.

Well, it was time.

He's 30 feet away in the stupid garage.

Let's see what we have in our happy bag.

I can't wait to wear this puppy to college.

It's real hip.

Oh, my words.

Exactly.

You know, as much as I would love to hear all about your, your trip, I've got to go cuddle up with my studies certainly changed since I left since this morning.

Well, speaking of changing you haven't seen a baby in three whole weeks.

Bye-bye good.

What's with somebody look as why does the sheet.

Uh, dad?

Uh, no, uh, dad, I went upstairs to look for Mike, like you said, and I, uh, I was in his apartment and there's a woman in his shower.

No, you won't.

No.

Tell me about this gentlemen.

Well, there's not much to tell on an eight o'clock show.

I can't believe what I'm not hearing.

You can't believe it.

Three weeks ago, I stepped on that boat just to stop Jason from saying mom, there is more to life than the new family.

Phew.

Who wants to be reminded that this is a world of couples and you're alone.

And then I met Wally second day at sea.

We had dinner there a day.

Yeah.

I bleached my hair by the fourth.

We danced in the Moonlight and by the end of the trip, we decided to do, he could share a cabin.

We could share a home.

Hold on here.

Hold on here.

You're leaving out a whole bunch of your story.

I certainly did.

Oh, Maggie Wally is so much better than the family feud.

So happy for you.

Oh, that'd be perfect.

If I could just tell Jason, of course you can tell Jason, Maggie, you know him as well as I know him and you know how close he was to his father.

This isn't going to be easy for him.

Oh yes.

But when he thinks about it, he'll always, it is going to be hell and what kills me.

He will never admit when he's upset.

He has been that way since he was a kid.

Tell him the worst news in the world and his mouth goes into that frozen simpleton smile.

I said, everything's okay.

And his voice goes real high.

And he says, well, well, well, what an unexpected turn of events.

And then his eyes starts twitching.

Hmm.

I mean, I told you I was just tutoring her.

I haven't told him why not?

Why aren't you, Mike?

We agreed when you moved out there that from now on.

Hey, why don't you tell me all about your trip and don't leave

well, at first I thought it was going to be pretty boring.

But then I made a friend.

Oh, Whoa.

What a trip grandma.

Did you hear that your mother made a friend?

Isn't that nice?

Oh, I think that's wonderful.

Does she live around here?

He lives in Manhattan.

the hot boy, grandma.

Is he a good friend?

Well, well, well, well, I'd like to meet him sometime.

Well, we could have your mother and her friend over to dinner sometime.

Hey, why don't you bite me too?

I'd love to scope this dude out.

It'd be lovely if you can do that sometime tonight, tonight.

Oh, well, Jason, I don't think I can get a dinner party.

Ready tonight.

I'll cook.

I can start now.

Well, tonight it is then.

Oh, no.

Huh.

Oh, I got plans tonight.

little old, formerly gray haired.

Mom met a fella.

Huh?

Unexpected turn of events.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's in the, um, yeah, so it's, uh, right, right out of here and to your left.

Hi.

Tutoring

when's dinner that you had plans I did till you sent her home.

They're here.

Hi,

Carol, please.

I got whacked in the back of the head.

So I smack you in the head.

There's no risk of doing any damage

boxes.

Grandma's got herself, a ball guy.

Now listen up all of, you know, your grandmother's feeling very uncomfortable tonight.

I expect you all to keep that in mind before you go and open your mouth.

Nice soup.

so, Mr.

Overmeyer, what do you do?

Oh, please.

Ma'am call me Wally.

Well, I'm retired from the U S army.

Uh, really he worked his way up through the ranks and retired a captain kill anybody

while he's been all over the world.

Germany, France, Vietnam, Ohio.

Did you kill anybody?

Let me put it this way.

Ben, they never found one single Vietcong in Cincinnati.

So Jason, your mother tells me you're a psychiatrist.

That's right.

Or that means you're a medical doctor too.

Isn't that right?

Ever kill anybody.

Oh, this is so sweet.

Jason, your mother tells me I have you to thank for sending her on this cruise.

Succotash.

I have to go get the stinking vegetables.

Oh, excuse me.

A moment, please.

I'm going to go help Jason with his succotash.

A woman today.

so Wally's very nice.

Very nice.

And isn't it wonderful to see your mom?

So happy the Aggie, Maggie, what you see what's going on here?

Poor woman is miserable.

She's torturing herself.

I'm sorry, honey.

I couldn't hear you over your mother's cup.

She's picked up we, your army man for crying out loud so he could, you know what my mother did during the Vietnam war, she joined mothers and other living things for pain.

The point is she's gonna pick someone clearly unsuited for her that way, when the relationship fails as it predictably will, she can retreat back into her life of solitude more miserable than before.

Okay.

Okay.

So what type of man would you consider suitable?

Well, somewhat thinner, dignified, maybe someone who exudes a certain inner strength, someone with a solid.

Blue shirt, cardigan with the patches, the leather, Jason, honey, do you know who you just described?

Jimmy Stewart.

Maggie.

Oh honey.

I know you loved your dad and this would be difficult for you even if Wally was Jimmy Stewart.

Maggie knew what's difficult for me.

What's difficult for me is seeing my poor mother suffer.

Just screaming for help.

Okay.

Giggling for help.

Wait, we're do I end up funky chicken?

That's the young man that entertained every night.

I bet he's a really Elvis.

That was our view of Amar porthole.

I mean, my porthole poor

Hey, I saw her this morning.

Well, it's been some day for you has an advantage.

They were on their honeymoon.

Conrad.

Wasn't acting his age.

We really shouldn't laugh.

Uh, I guess that it's a little close to home.

Doesn't it?

Next slide, Wally.

Jason.

I want to word mom in the kitchen right now.

Young man.

He gives you any trouble, just cut them on the back of the head.

I love you, mom.

Jason, Roland Stever.

What in the hell are you doing?

That's good.

That you're feeling.

I am not one of your patients.

Okay.

Go with that.

Yes.

Say what you're feeling this instance.

Petty for Maggie.

Come on.

You're not fooling anybody.

I know why you brought Wally here at this moment.

I don't know why I brought him here.

Brought them here, knowing full well that as soon as I had met him, I tell you, he's not your kind of guy, mom, stop whining.

The point is he's just not right for you.

The point is he is not your father.

Exactly.

And if you can't admit that to yourself, then I can just did.

Yeah, well, okay, well now we're finally getting under the surface mama, those feelings that you've been blocking that are making you act so incredibly irrational.

Are we talking about me or you maybe your, the one who's blocking how you really feel.

Oh, it's really, I should have realized how upset you were when you started acting like a child.

You never acted like a child when you were a child, honey, what is wrong mother?

You must be feeling so bad to be acting like such a jackass.

The problem is not what I'm refusing to admit.

It's what you're refusing to admit.

Why don't you just say the problem is not what I'm refusing to admit.

It's one year online and this is the most ridiculous Congress.

They, I mean, if you think, I mean, actually for one minute that I could buy an nun and object you're way off base mom.

I'm telling you that.

Oh, you're right.

Okay.

I'm supposed to be smarter than this.

I don't know.

What's the matter with me.

I've been riding now.

I know I didn't rude to Wally and to you, I'm a 40 year old man, and I'm worried about someone replacing my dad.

You want to hear something crazy?

Well, of course you do.

You're a psychiatrist.

Wally came into my life.

I was so thrilled, so excited.

The first thought that came into my head, I was like, I couldn't wait to tell your dad.

Yeah.

That would have shocked.

Jason.

There was only one, you know, Steven and I'll never forget him, but he's gone.

Yeah.

And I'm going to get a little bit audio.

You finally realize that there's no sense in waiting for something that's not there, mom.

I just don't want anything to hurt you, honey.

I'm not going to be hurt.

I'm going to be married.

Jason Wally.

He loves me and I love him.

How long have you known each other?

Three weeks.

Three of the happiest, most exciting weeks.

I've known since your father passed away.

Oh, you didn't want to take that away from me now, do you.

No, but

no,

I know it's something I'm going to need somebody to give me a way and I wait now I want you to be happy and everything.

Mom, I just don't.

I don't think I could do that, right?

No, that's why I'm planning on asking Ben

Hey, Maggie, what?

Well, you know, after I'm gone, I mean, would you fall for somebody who's completely the opposite of me.

Absolutely.

See, he wouldn't be good looking or funny or sensitive or open-minded sexy.

No, he'd be sexy.