Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 5 - Employee of the Month - full transcript

Maggie and Jason allow Mike to take a job at World of Burgers to prove he's ready for the responsibility of a car. When Mike gets fired, he can't bring himself to tell his parents.

Ah. Perfect. Hey, Ben. Ben?

- What?
- Ben, look, I need your help.

- Okay, now here's what I want you to do.
- Is this gonna get me in trouble again?

Ben, I'm your older brother.
I'd never get you into trouble.

- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Mom.

Hey, Mom.

Who left the paper
scattered all over the sofa?

He did.

What?!

Don't worry, I'll clean it up...

and then I'll explain to little
Ben where he went astray.



I'm sorry, I thought this
was the Seaver home.

- That's gonna cost you.
- Yeah, all right, all right.

If you help me out tonight,
I'll do your homework for you.

You'll do my homework?
Mike, I can't afford it.

Okay, all right,
look, I'll pay you.

- A hundred bucks.
- Two bucks.

- Deal. What do you want me to do?
- Okay, first, come here.

I want you to get Dad down here,
have him sit on the sofa right here.

- Then ask him a question.
- About what?

It doesn't matter. Just tell
him you wanna talk to him.

Dad's a pushover when one of us wants
to open the channels of communication.

- Then what?
- I'll take it from there, thanks.

Dad! Dad!

What? What is it?



Will you sit right here
and, uh, explain sex to me?

- Now?
- I gotta know by 5:00.

You've been watching
Dr. Ruth again.

- All right, Ben, look...
- Hey, guys.

Ah, dinner smells great, Dad.

I see you've been reading
the paper, anything interesting?

- Well, actually...
- Uh... Oh, very intere...

Dad, did you know that teenage
drivers with driver's education...

have incredibly
good safety records?

Ah.

Ah. And would you
believe what it says here?

Car insurance rates for teenage
boys are at their lowest level in years.

- Would you believe that, Ben?
- You gotta admit, the guy is smooth.

Ah, and, Dad, look at this, my dream
car. A 1972 V-Dub ragtop for a mere 2795.

Wow.

But not smooth enough.

Come on, we've been
through all this before.

Now, we are not
gonna buy you a car.

Prove that you're responsible enough
to own a car by earning the money for it.

Since that means getting
a job, it's conceivable...

you won't own a
car in our lifetime.

Hey, great news,
Dad, I got a job.

I start working tomorrow
at the World of Burgers.

Here's the parental consent
form for my work permit.

Just sign here.

Like I said, the man is smooth.

Why can't I have
parents who yell?

Heh. What did you do this time?

For your information, they
just happen to be deciding...

whether to let me take a
job at World of Burgers.

Somebody hired you?

Fine, fine. Go ahead and laugh.

I just happen to know that Mom and
Dad have a great deal of faith in me.

I have no faith whatsoever that he
can handle both a job and school.

So we agree.

At the same time, we
can't just give up on him.

You're saying that for
the first time in his life...

he wants to work, so
give him the chance?

Yes.

You think getting this job
could be a turning point for him.

- Yes, and then...
- I know.

You think when you love
your kids, it involves risks.

Exactly.

Do I think anything else?

- No, that about covers it.
- Yeah.

I think I know what
you're gonna say too.

You'll say that with this job, he's
gonna forget about school completely.

Mm-hm.

Then we've got a dropout with a
car and a lot of time on his hands.

And then the first time he takes that car
out he's gonna meet a 23-year-old woman.

And then he's gonna quit his job,
he has no time for burgers anymore.

You know what I mean?

All he wants to do is drive,
and he wants to drive so fast...

because he's
going to lovers' lane.

Going to lovers' lane
so fast, that car spins

out of control and
hits another car, boom.

And it's a Buick, but
that's another story.

And even though nobody
is hurt, thank goodness...

ugh, Mike's still in trouble.

Whoa. He let his car
insurance expire, no.

And next, look out. At
the door, there she is.

That 23-year-old woman, yes, that
one, and here she is now, heavy with child.

Yes, and she wants
to marry Mike now.

Now we've got a kid
with a kid and no job...

no income, no
insurance and no future.

You read my mind.

Maggie, don't you think
you're overreacting just a little?

Me?

Okay, we both see both
sides of the question.

So, what do we do?

Well, we do what any sensitive,
loving, caring parent would do.

And I call heads.

Ha, ha. Dad. Ha.

Uh, I was just picking up this glass that
someone thoughtlessly left on the floor.

Probably Ben.

Well, we were just
discussing your job.

Job? What job?

Oh, World of Burgers.

It just slipped my mind. You
know, I've been studying so hard.

Mm. Heh, heh.

Well, Mike, we've been
giving careful consideration...

to both sides of this question,
and after carefully considering it...

we think that it would
be taking a big chance.

- But we're gonna sign those papers...
- Thanks, you will not regret this.

- Make sure your grades don't...
- No problem.

I will maintain a
solid D average.

I think we were hoping
for something more.

Hey, whatever you
want. D-plus, great.

Yes.

Jason, this nickel
has two heads.

- What's your point?
- Oh.

Now, this is the
beverage center.

We got large,
extra-large, colossal.

Oh, whoa.

No, no, this is
colossal, this is whoa.

Oh, okay.

Excuse me, Mr. Krassner?

Now, Terry, I told you before.

I like my employees to
call me by my first name.

Okay, Scooter. Um...

I think those whatchamacallit
things are clogged.

- Not the grease traps?
- That's it.

Oh, my gosh. Excuse me.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Are you new here too?
- Yeah, it's my first day.

It's my second.

I don't know. It's
all so complex.

You're kidding.

Mr. Krassner...

Uh, Scooter says if I
really apply myself...

I could get to be employee of
the month, just like Joey Scavuglio.

Dare to dream. Heh.

Titanic cheeseburger,
considerable fries, and a root beer.

A diet whoa.

You talking to me?

Oh, brother.

No sweat, I can
handle this. Okay.

That's a colossal,
I said a whoa.

Oh, right, sorry.

Be right with you.

You forgot my titanic burger.

Oh. Right, I'll be right
with you. Just a minute.

Amateurs.

Okay, that's one
Madhouse, no nuts.

One titanic burger,
hold the iceberg lettuce.

One considerable fries, two iced
teas, one whoa, one colossal, no ice.

One Patty Meltdown with Nuclear
dressing, Fallout's on the side.

I knew I was right about
Mike. Look at him go.

A Patty Meltdown?

I'll bet $5 he messes
up the change.

I'll take that action.

Nine and 10. Thank you.

And as we say at W.O.B.,
don't get any on you.

Oh, what a charming
little family here.

Welcome to the World of
Burgers. How may I help you?

- Well, we just came to look.
- You gotta order something, Dad.

Okay, I'll take a meal on a stick with...
- No, you don't.

No junk food.

Mom.

We have a nice dinner ready at home.
I don't want him loading up on grease.

Double or nothing he's
out of here in 10 minutes.

Mike, we've just never had...

an employee of the
month in our family.

I just came down
to see you work.

I've always been a
sucker for a man in uniform.

- Ha, ha.
- You have?

- Mike, we have a little surprise for you.
- Oh, a little surprise?

Ha, ha. Be sure you come
straight home after work, okay?

Okay.

Hi, I'm the manager.
Is there a problem here?

None, I was down here
for breakfast this morning...

and this man gave me
such incredible service...

I just wanted to bring the whole
family down to meet him in person.

- Wow.
- So, kids, we'd better be going.

But I want you to
remember this day...

always.

Mike, I don't know what to do.
This guy wants extra ketchup.

- I tried to talk him out of it.
- Look, Terry, would you just relax?

I can't relax. Mike, if I mess
up again, I'm out of here.

- Look, you're not gonna mess up, okay?
- Terry!

Your register drawer is open.

Uh, Scooter, that's my fault.

She just got back from her break. I was
handling both registers while she was gone.

Mike?

I don't believe it. You're
the employee of the month.

Look, I'm sorry, Scooter,
I've learned my lesson.

My heart is beating
a mile a minute here.

Oh, Mike. That
was so nice of you.

If there's ever anything
I can ever do for you...

don't hesitate to ask, okay?

Well...

- Mike.
- Yeah, Scooter?

This cash register is $37 short.

- Thirty-seven...?
- I just don't know what to say.

Look, Scooter, I'm sorry.
It will not happen again.

I know.

What does that mean?

I'm sorry, my hands
are tied. You're fired.

Ahh, fired.

Mom?

Dad?

Dad, something's happened today.

Surprise!

A little something for our
employee of the month.

Mike, we are so proud of you.

Mike's still sitting there behind the
wheel with his mouth hanging open.

- Aw.
- Has he stopped drooling yet?

Carol, if you'd stop
making fun for one second...

you might learn from
your brother's example.

- I might learn from Mike?
- Yes.

His grades are up. He's
doing very well on the job.

Instead of wasting his money
on Scritti Politti records...

he's saved almost all of it.

I have straight A's,
I do all my chores...

and I'd sooner kill than
spend a nickel on Scritti Politti.

But you've always
been a good kid.

That's my crime?

Carol, all we're saying is that
even a model child like you...

can learn something from
Mike's accomplishment.

So if I'd spent my whole
life as a total screw-up...

and then did just one thing
right, I'd be given a car too?

"Wanted, sales representative
for international cosmetic firm.

We're looking for a young,
aggressive, self-starter...

interested in 6000 a month
minimum and is fluent in Turkish."

Always a catch.

Take me to Disney
World and step on it.

I'm gonna step on you.

You don't look like a
new responsible Mike.

Who said that?

Dad did on the way home from
World of Burgers when Mom was crying.

Crying?

Like she did when
Carol joined MENSA.

You know, life was a lot better when
Mom and Dad thought I was garbage.

I think you're garbage, Mike.

Thanks.

- Can I stay?
- Why not?

- You wanna know how much the car cost?
- No.

Two thousand six
hundred and five dollars.

Ben.

Plus tax, license
and dealer prep.

If you say one more word
about how proud they are of me...

you're gonna have to leave.

Okay.

I didn't ask them to have
any faith in me, did I? Right?

- Yes or no?
- Uh, no?

- That's right.
- Good.

I'm gonna find a way
to mess things up.

- What's their problem?
- You messed up?

- No.
- Oh.

I'm not about to go in
there and break their hearts.

I can't do something
like that, can I, Ben?

Sure.

- No.
- Uh, that's what I meant.

- So now I have to do what I have to do.
- Right.

If you wanna save
yourself a lot of grief...

don't let Mom and Dad
expect great things from you.

Let them know you're a
real disappointment now.

Maggie?

Jason?

- Oh.
- Oh, you are here.

Maggie? MAGGIE: Jason?

- I thought you were gonna answer.
- I thought you were.

I know you're in
there, I can hear you.

- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Terry.

- Is Mike home?
- No.

Is his burger uniform home?

No, he's wearing it.

Oh, that is so sad.

Terry, I'm a psychiatrist.

Well, I'm the new assistant manager at
World of Burgers and I need his uniform.

- Oh, well, Mike needs it.
- For what?

- For work.
- That's great.

I felt so bad when he got fired.

- Well...
- Hold it.

Hold what?

Mike was fired?

You didn't know?

Oh, boy.

I did it again.

- It sounds like Mike did it again.
- I lied.

Uh, he didn't get fired.
Look, I don't even know him.

I'm just an insane girl who
collects burger uniforms.

Uh, just forget I ever came by
here, okay? This never happened.

So bye-bye.

- Hey, Dad, how about some one-on-one?
- No, I'm too busy right now, Ben.

Doing what?

I'm sublimating my anger so I can get
my negative emotions under control...

and have a more
constructive attitude, okay?

Oh, good luck.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi.

He's busy.

- You were right.
- I was?

We never should have
let Mike take that job.

Oh, Jason, I didn't
wanna be right about that.

Look at this. Look,
what do you see here?

A grease spot?

It's not just a grease spot.

This is a symbol of my gullibility.
A $2600 symbol of my gullibility.

Plus tax, license and dealer
prep, whatever the hell that is.

Honey, I wouldn't
call you gullible.

- I'd say you were...
- Stupid?

- I was going to say trusting.
- Well, with Mike, trust is stupid.

Honey, trusting Carol is easy.

And Ben's no problem because,
well, he's smaller than us.

- But trusting Mike is a real...
- There, you're back to stupidity again.

Well, I'm not trusting
him anymore, Maggie.

Jason, I know he let us
down, but maybe there's...

You know, he lied to us for a solid
week, just so he wouldn't lose that car.

And I'm really sick of Mike
thinking of nobody but himself first.

Jason, maybe you shouldn't
talk to him when you're this angry.

Absolutely.

- But you will.
- Absolutely.

Hey, Dad.

Well, if it isn't my hard-working
son and his well-deserved car.

Yeah, that's us, Dad. Ah. You
know, I'm really bushed today, Dad.

So how did it go down
at World of Burgers?

Looks like you got some on you.

- Yeah, well, to tell you the truth, Dad...
- Excuse me, the what?

Just to tell you
the truth. Uh...

I don't know, I'm getting a
little bummed with W.O.B.

Oh, but you're the
employee of the month.

Yeah, but you know, there's
a lot of pressure there, Dad.

I don't know, they're talking about
making me an assistant manager...

and that'd mean I'd have to go
to Burger College. I don't know.

I just don't know if
I'm university material.

So you're telling me that you're
considering quitting this job?

Well, I've already got a
better job lined up, Dad.

Yeah, it's in the
automotive industry.

Ah. Ford? General
Mo... Chrysler?

- Bernie. Heh.
- Bernie?

Yeah, Bernie's Car Wash.
I'm gonna be a rag man, Dad.

Tips galore, great future.

Crud, I can't do this.

I can't look you in the face and lie.
What is it, some kind of magic power?

- Mike, I have...
- Dad, I got fired.

It wasn't even my fault. I
was covering for Terry...

who left her
register drawer open.

I'm sorry, I
wanted to tell you...

but that was the day
you gave me this car.

What was I supposed to say then?

Oh, yes, you didn't
wanna risk losing the car.

No, Dad. It wasn't
because of the car.

I mean it was, but
not the way you mean.

Look, it was just such a new experience,
I mean, having you be so proud of me.

It confused me.

Well, it confused me too.

So don't you see, Dad?

I didn't want you to
think I was some loser...

who couldn't be trusted
with responsibility...

just when you started
having faith in me.

Well, you gotta have
a little faith in me too.

Come on, Dad, no.

If you had somehow
found out that I was fired...

you'd be out here pacing, telling
Mom how stupid you were to trust me.

- Well, possibly...
- Dad.

Don't you see?

Do you know how hard it's been
for me to keep the truth from you?

So you lied to me for me?

Yeah. I just didn't
wanna let you down.

No matter what happened
to me, it didn't matter.

Well, I appreciate that.

Michael, we've
been waiting for you...

Uh, Maggie, Mike just told me he lost
his job at the burger place last week.

- Oh, he did?
- I was shocked.

You were?

Jason, he's been lying
to us for an entire week.

Yes.

Is that a great kid or what?

So there's a difference between doing
the wrong thing for the wrong reason...

and the wrong thing
for the right reason.

Any questions?

No.

Great.

Well, wait, I have a question.

Last month, I broke
some of Mom's good china.

How come I didn't
get a reward for it?

See, there are wrong things
and there are right things.

Now, the wrong
things sometimes...