Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 1 - Jason and the Cruisers - full transcript

When Jason starts to feel old, Maggie decides to surprise him with a reunion of his former band The Wild Hots.

Yeah.

Joan Collins revealed...

We need the TV, Mike.

Can't you see I'm in the
middle of a show here?

Yeah? Well, I've
got a better show.

Mom took all the home movies...

and put them on tape
so we could see them.

Why?

- Well, this ought to be fun.
- Hurry up, Ben.

- Front row.
- Dad, come on, you're embarrassing me.

What, not excited about seeing yourself
in diapers with drool down your chin?



All right, come on.

Well, he could just look
in the mirror to see that.

Oh, Mike was such
a cute little baby.

Yeah, all right. Look, I
have to go study, okay?

What's the matter,
there's a full moon?

Look, I'm really sorry I'm gonna
miss out on all this family fun.

Gee, I do really love it too, you
know, when we pal around like this...

but I have to study...

Mike, your mother has gone to a lot
of trouble putting these films on tape.

It's okay, if he doesn't
want to see them.

Oh, he does.

Dad, are you suggesting
that I shouldn't study?

Yes, I am, Mike.

I think you're spending far
too much time studying...



and too little time
staring blankly at the TV.

Ben, I'm not waiting for
you, and your tape is first.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Ben, you just ate a full dinner.

This isn't for me.

This is for my
family who I love.

Here we go.

Hey, you said the
first tape was me.

This is Mike.

Ohh.

Gee, Mike, you sure
look like a weenie.

All right, look, I'm
staying, all right?

The least you can do is put off
my humiliation until he's asleep.

Well, this sure cuts into my
fun. How about you, Maggie?

Yes, humiliating Mike was the one
reason I had these movies transferred.

Yeah.

But if he'll stop making
snide comments...

and join in the fun by
playing background music...

just so five years of piano
lessons don't go down the drain.

Yeah, all right.

Look, now, I know this
family fun is gonna kill me.

This is my tape.

She's a maniac, maniac, I know

And she's dancing Like
she's never danced before

I'm not playing
this while he's here.

Could you guys be a little bit
mature and just let a tape play?

What is this? Who is this?

I bet you forgot
we even had these.

Hey, Dad, you never told us
you had a brother who was a geek.

That's Dad.

He's the geek.

Come on, Dad.

Come on, Mom went to a lot of
trouble to put these movies on tape.

- Yeah.
- Oh, it's okay.

If he doesn't want
to see them, it's okay.

Oh, Maggie, I want
to see my tape, yes.

Hey, I know, let's
watch my tape.

No, no, I'll be proud
to show my tape.

- Yay!
- I'll be thrilled to show my tape.

Thank you, Mike.

This is the far-out
group you led in college?

That's us. The Wild Hots.

Come on, guys, it
was the perfect name.

They were wild
and they were hot.

They were babies, look at them.

You were on TV?

Yes, the Rock 'n'
Roll Talent Search.

We were the state
finalists from Rhode Island.

Ooh!

I still remember
my dad's reaction...

when you came to pick
me up in that costume.

He said you looked
like a Vietcong.

Well, he wasn't young
and hip like we were.

He was the same age you are now.

- No.
- Yes.

- Really?
- Really.

No, he was pushing fort... No.

Oh, they're doing the twist.

Gross.

Well, we seem to be low on
popcorn. I think I'll make some more.

- Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
- Oh, Dad.

All right, I'm out of here.

Hey, I know, let's
watch my tape.

Ben, the party's over.

Aww.

You're very quiet tonight.

Mm.

In fact, you're so quiet,
it's like you're not even here.

Jason?

Honey, I was talking to you.

Sorry.

I think seeing yourself that
young made you feel a little old.

Old? Ha!

In fact, I would guess that you were
in that bathroom staring in the mirror...

probably looking for gray hairs.

Well, you couldn't
be more wrong.

I'm hardly the kind of guy
who goes looking for gray hairs.

I'm sorry, you're right.

That's ridiculous. You
weren't looking for gray hairs.

- I'm a young man.
- Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

It's just that you've never been
so sensitive about your age.

And I'm not now, either.

Even though, as you point out, I am
the same age as your parents were...

when we met, which is not true
because your dad was six months older.

- Bye, Mom.
- Ben, where are you going?

- Stinky's, I told Dad.
- Ben.

Mom.

Now, I'm glad you told your father
that you were going to Stinky's.

But your father doesn't know I
wanted you to clean your room.

But, Mom, I promised Stinky he
could see the tape of Dad looking funny.

No, absolutely not.

Then I don't get to see the pictures
of Stinky's mom before she got fat.

Ben, go to your room and
don't come out until it's clean.

Mom, I'm gonna go to the
schoolyard and shoot some hoops.

Okay. Hoops? Mike, wait.

- No, my room's clean, Mom.
- No.

Clean clothes in the
drawer, dirty in the hamper.

- Mike.
- What?

That's not what I
want to talk about.

You mean I did
all that for nothing?

- Mike, I wanna ask you a favor.
- What?

Well, you see, after watching
all those old movies last night...

well, your father
started feeling old.

Well, he is.

I mean old as in
out of it, over the hill.

Yeah.

Michael, please, I want you to help
me make your father feel younger.

Is that so hard for
you to understand?

Now, Mom, how can he feel old when
he's married to a young fox like you?

Ohh.

Michael, would you please play
a little basketball with your dad?

And... - Throw the game?
- Well...

- Take a dive?
- Yeah.

- And don't let him know about it?
- Right.

Hey, no problem. I'm an
old hand at fooling Dad.

Oh, Dad.

Dad?

Such a nice boy...

with such a foxy young mother.

Hey, nice drive, Dad.

- Hey, what can I say? I'm good.
- Yeah.

Here we go.

Whoa.

Oh! You are too
quick today, Dad.

Yes.

You wouldn't by any chance
be letting me win, would you?

Letting you win?

Are you kidding?
Why would I do that?

Well, for one thing, your mom
doesn't like to admit she's wrong.

- Mom?
- Uh-uh.

Now, why would she
think that you feel old?

- I mean, she doesn't think...
- I'm warning you, Mike.

Don't start patronizing your
old ma... Your father, okay?

Because I can still keep up
with you, you know. Uh-huh.

- Yes.
- Yeah, right, Dad.

No, really. Come on,
take your best shot.

Come on, we'll see who's sucking
wind at the end of this one, okay?

- All right.
- Come on.

None of that hot
dog stuff either.

- That's what we were...
- Real game.

Unless you're afraid to be
humiliated. I'll understand.

You gonna try out for
the girls' team this year?

- No, all right. Let's go.
- Let's see what you're packing. Come on.

Okay, lucky shot.

Come on, Dad,
that's 28. I've had it.

Yeah.

All right, I'll let you
off the hook this time.

Come on, Dad.

Only 25 more points
and you're right back in it.

Come on, Ben. Can't
you see the man's tired?

Ohh.

What's the matter? You're
afraid I'm gonna catch up?

I'm just getting my second wind.

All right, Dad. Come
on, you can do it.

- Shut him down.
- Yeah.

Hey, come on, Dad.

Hey, Dad, you all right?

I slipped on
something right there.

Ow.

- What is it?
- I turned my ankle.

Yeah, I knew we played
too long. Parents never listen.

No, look, I'm fine, all
right? Just give me a minute.

I'll walk it off.

Look, Dad, I'm really bushed. I
couldn't play another second, all right?

- Okay.
- All right, great.

I'm gonna go to school,
get in a game. See you later.

Dad, I think you're
a radical player.

- Yeah, well, I know how to play.
- Especially for a guy your age.

Ow!

Don't worry, Dad,
I'll take care of you.

Ben, what are you doing here?

I live here.

We're supposed to have
Dad out of the house by now.

What do you want from me? The
man had to go to the bathroom.

- Ben, where's your dad?
- In the bathroom, I hope.

So, what do you think, Ben?

I think this is gonna make
him even more depressed.

Oh, no, Ben.

Once he starts playing rock 'n'
roll, he's gonna feel like this again.

And that's good?

You bet.

- Where do we stash this till the party?
- In the kitchen.

I'll have your father
go out the front door.

Okay.

I'll get it.

I'm Dave Sacks from
Party Animal Party Rentals.

- You're early.
- That's our policy.

- No.
- Yes, it is.

No, it's supposed to be a surprise
for my dad and my dad is still here.

Bummer. JASON: Let's go, Ben.

Well, maybe I could...

Come on, Ben, this was
your idea to go to the zoo.

- Let's go.
- This is gonna be great.

I wanna spend the whole
day at the snake house.

Anybody else wanna come?

No, I've got things to do.

- Carol?
- Oh, no, darn it.

You know how I love to see God's
creatures in cages, but I have to study.

Let's roll. CAROL: Um...

No, you have to go
through the kitchen.

- No.
- Carol, the kitchen floor is wet.

Well, so is the porch.

- Carol.
- Mom.

Apparently, there's no way out,
Ben. I guess we'll have to stay here.

No.

What's going on here?

Oh, I know.

The kitchen floor is probably dry by
now. You can go out that way, Jason.

Thanks, Maggie.

So the kitchen it is then.

Hey, you all have
fun now, all right?

Mike, what's this?

What's what, Dad?

What's the mess you're making?

This mess, as you call it, just
happens to be my project for art class.

I call it Hold the
Onions or I'll Kill You.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Seaver, you're good.

And the kid can paint.

Hello, test. One, two,
three. Louder, Carol.

Ladies and gentlemen...
Bruce Springsteen.

- Mike.
- Yeah, Mom?

Can you hold it down?
We have a lot to do.

All right, Mom, no problem.

Well, we have less than an
hour left. Is everything ready?

Voilà.

Ladies and gentlemen, Madonna.

Carol, not you too.

I don't know, Mom.

If this doesn't cheer Dad
up, you ought to divorce him.

Of course it'll work.

He'll be seeing his old friends, his old
band. It'll give him a whole new outlook.

I'll get it.

Carol, would you and
Mike put up more balloons?

Okay.

- Rick.
- Maggie.

How are you?

Wild and hot.

Well, you look sensational.

You haven't changed a bi...

Well, maybe just
a little bit, huh?

Oh, wow.

Oh! The Wild Hots never played
in a place this classy before.

Kids, this is Rick.

Rick, this is Carol and Mike.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Oh, Maggie.

Ohh.

By the way, Maggie...

The Wild Hots are gonna
sound a little thin tonight.

We don't have a keyboard man.

Warren said he'd be here.

Well, he's had
a little coronary.

- Oh, dear.
- Nothing serious.

He'll be up and
around in a week.

Wait a minute, wait. Mike
can fill in on keyboards.

Hey, Mom, look, I don't know
any of those old, stupid fogey...

Classics.

If you know five chords, then
you know two more than we do.

I felt my life begin

So open up your heart and let

This fool rush in

So open up your heart and let

This fool rush in

Radical.

Now, Mom, if we
go through with this...

there's a chance Dad's
gonna drown himself.

Well, I don't think
it sounded that bad.

Maggie, do you have any aspirin?

I rest my case.

Okay, okay. Mike, you're right.

But what am I supposed to do?
I can't throw all these people out.

All right, all right, Mom.
Now, we can handle this.

I could set the kitchen on fire.

No, I like the kitchen.

All right, how
about Dad's office?

Oh, no, look, I'll
handle this, okay?

Rick?

Rick?

Hey.

Excuse me, everyone.

We've had a slight
change of plans...

and I just learned that Jason
has been called into the hospital...

on an emergency in another state.
- Ohh.

I know, I know.

I'm as disappointed as you are,
but he won't be back for days.

Surprise.

What's with you people?

What is this?

Look at... Peggy,
it's nice to... Oh!

It's been years.
Doug, how are you?

Maggie, what's
the occasion here?

Ladies and gentlemen, the
founder of The Wild Hots...

Jamming Jason Seaver.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How are you? Good
to see you guys.

I think it's going well. Do
you think it's going well?

I think it's going well.

Oh, this is great.
Where's Warren?

He had a... He
had a heart attack.

- A what?
- He'll be fine.

He's 38 years old.

Yeah, I guess he's finally learned
he can't keep up with the youngsters.

Excuse me, Jason,
can I talk to you?

Better make it quick.

Hey, hey, we're the Monkees

People say we monkey around

We're too busy singin'

To put anybody down

Can you imagine that?
A heart attack at 38.

Oh, honey, I had no
idea when I planned this.

What about Rick's chrome dome?

Well, a lot of men
lose their hair early.

Yeah, if they handle
nuclear waste in their shorts.

Honey, the last thing I
wanted to do was depress you.

Oh, I'm not depressed.

- You are too.
- No, I'm not.

Seeing how these guys
look now even depresses me.

Well, they do have a few
miles on them, don't they?

A few miles?

How about the entire
interstate highway system?

And they're the same age I am.

Oh, honey, compared to them,
you look like Ricky Schroder.

Yes, yes, I do.

Younger than Ricky Schroder.

And I'm the same
age as these guys.

Not that that matters.

Jason, I've been trying for two
weeks to tell you that you weren't old...

- But would I listen?
- No.

Dude, we knocked the rust off
the edges and we're really cooking.

We need The Jammer.

This song's for you. It's
gonna make you wild and hot.

One, two, three, four.

Just take those old
records off the shelf

I'll sit and listen
to them by myself

Today's music ain't
got the same soul

As that old-time rock 'n' roll

Call me a rebel,
call me what you will

Say I'm old-fashioned,
say I'm over the hill

Today's music ain't
got the same soul

As that old-time rock 'n' roll

- Still love that old-time
rock 'n' roll - Rock 'n' roll

- The kind of music just soothes
my soul - Soothes my soul

- I reminisce about the
days of old - Days of old

- And that old-time
rock 'n' roll - Rock 'n' roll

- Come on, Dad, I can't keep up with you.
- Don't you forget it, kid.

- Still love that old-time
rock 'n' roll - Rock 'n' roll

- The kind of music just soothes
my soul - Soothes my soul

- I reminisce about the
days of old - Days of old

- And that old-time
rock 'n' roll - Rock 'n' roll

Rock 'n' roll

Soothes my soul

If I gave my heart

To you

I must be sure
From the very start

That you Would love me - Jason?
- Hm?

How long are you
gonna play your guitar?

Just a few more
minutes, I promise.

If I trust in you

Oh, please

Maggie, I can't
play in the dark.

Well, I can.